Coffee & Career Hour
A genuine & informative podcast on all things career - hosted by two career counselors and friends. From practical strategies to motivational & reflective content, this podcast is here to empower and guide you to find meaningful work, make informed career decisions, and reach your full potential. So, grab a cup of coffee and join in for some career talk.
Coffee & Career Hour
Risks, Community, and Why Your Purpose Isn't Your Job Title
"What is my purpose?" stands among life's most profound questions, keeping us awake at night searching for clarity. But what if finding your purpose isn't about discovering one perfect answer or having a magical "aha" moment? What if purpose is something we actively build through daily work, meaningful connections, and overcoming challenges?
In this thought-provoking episode, we explore purpose as a dynamic, evolving force rather than a static destination. Purpose extends far beyond your job title—it encompasses how you show up as a parent, community member, friend, and human being. We challenge the damaging societal pressure that demands young people to "figure it all out" immediately and stick with one path forever. This narrative creates needless anxiety when the truth is that purpose development represents an ongoing journey of discovery.
The mindset you bring to your purpose journey matters tremendously. Those who approach life with openness, positivity, and a willingness to say "yes" to new challenges consistently find themselves gravitating toward meaningful work. Combined with the support of a strong community that both reflects your talents and connects you to opportunities, this growth mindset becomes the foundation for purpose-driven living.
Listen now and discover how to build a life that feels deeply aligned with who you are becoming.
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Everything comes from other people, right. So whether it's a new opportunity, whether you're learning something just connecting with other people, they may give you even something to think about that you haven't thought about before. You are listening to Coffee and Career Hour. We are your hosts. I'm Armina and I'm MJ, Two career counselors and friends chatting about all things life and career.
Speaker 2:So grab a cup of coffee and join us.
Speaker 1:Welcome back to Coffee and Career Hour, the podcast where we sip, reflect and take bold steps toward building a life and career that feels right for you. And today we're diving into one of the biggest questions of all what is my purpose?
Speaker 2:Oof that's a big one. It's a question that really keeps us up at night and, honestly, it doesn't always come with a straightforward answer.
Speaker 1:Exactly. Whether you're just starting out, feeling stuck or going through a career transition, the idea of purpose can feel overwhelming. But what if we stopped looking for one perfect answer and started seeing purpose as something we build over time?
Speaker 2:That part. It's not always this magical aha moment, but sometimes purpose is found in the work you do daily, the people you impact or even the challenges you overcome.
Speaker 1:So in this episode we're going to explore what purpose really means, how to uncover it in your own life and the ways it can evolve as you grow. We'll talk about strategies, stories and mindset shifts that can help you feel more aligned even when the path ahead isn't crystal clear.
Speaker 2:If you've ever felt like you were meant for more or something was missing, you're in the right place.
Speaker 1:So grab your coffee, get cozy and let's start the conversation. So, mj purpose.
Speaker 2:That's a big word. It's a big word, I think, that carries a lot of weight in our lives and how we dictate the choices that we make and how we really do process and reflect on the things that we do. I know that was like a lot, but I'm thinking like there's purpose, is like, of course we're talking to talk about purpose in your career, but I'm like there's purpose as a human purpose, as a parent purpose, purpose as a human purpose as a parent, purpose as a sibling, purpose, as a as a caregiver, purpose as a spouse. There's so many ways you can really interpret the word purpose and I think you know we spend our lives trying to understand the purpose of life yeah, so it has so much more meaning to it than like a simple, like kind of answer oh my gosh, that word holds so much weight.
Speaker 1:It's such a heavy word, like I feel like I could even see somebody's shoulders like carrying that weight. When you start talking about purpose, like when we talk about that with our students, our clients, um it is. It is a very uh complex concept, right, but as humans, we're always seeking to find answers Like why am I doing whatever it is that I'm doing? Why am I here? Like the purpose of life it's so interesting. Why do you think people in general kind of want to find these answers?
Speaker 2:I think it gives them like a better sense, like feel more grounded to the life that they're living, or feel more like a foundation to it, or like there's there's not that much uncertainty or unknown. So the more like you know, we have this weird phenomenon as humans like the more we know, the better like things can be, or like the the better we feel sometimes, and I think these are things that can remain unspoken or unhidden or just like like. As you grow in life, you continue to evolve your definition of purpose, or it changes with you too. So I don't know if that answered your question, but that's kind of what came to mind yeah, no, I, I completely agree.
Speaker 1:I think the need to like know why we're doing things or where we're headed is it allows us to feel, I think, in control. Yeah, like peace, yeah, yeah, and we see that with uh clients that we work with who are making career decisions and and they don't know what they want to do, and the amount of anxiety that comes with that uncertainty. So I think it's that sense of like control, of I know what I'm doing and I know what I need to do to get there. But unfortunately, as we've been doing career counseling for many years now, we've seen it all and we've seen how it it's never really a clear, direct path.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know like I yes, you're right, it's not. I'm just like thinking about how many individuals will approach us or seek out career counseling, advising or services because they want to be unclear. And then we sometimes are like dang, did we? Did that person leave like with more questions?
Speaker 1:than they came in. Oh yeah, that happens all the time, like it it really is a thing of.
Speaker 2:It's more than just the one simple answer. It's more than a like this is it, or there's, like here's a list of things and pick it, or it's like one value of yours right. It goes way beyond that and I think individuals, as human beings, sometimes we're not ready to fully understand or discover what our purpose is, or we're not ready to really get on track to do all the work to discover and understand and and be there like fully yeah, uh, well, because I think that happens, because it's scary, yeah, right, because we have to let go.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, oh yeah, I love that reaction. Tell me more what happened there.
Speaker 2:I don't want to let go. Like you said, I like to be in control. Well, not, you weren't saying about me, but I like to be in control. I like to know. I like to know what's the next step, what the plan is, plan A through Z, right, like all of it. So having to let go and let something bigger help me uncover my purpose is really hard Because at the end of the day, we're like at the people say, right, we're in control of our own lives. But then when we think of something as theoretical or philosophical as your purpose and what that looks like in the perspective of a whole human race, it goes beyond like what your control is yeah, no, absolutely.
Speaker 1:I mean, sometimes we see it people will be forcing this path and like the universe is like telling them, no, this is not the right path and it may take years for the person to kind of redirect themselves due to different circumstances.
Speaker 2:But it's because, yeah, there's a bigger kind of purpose behind what they should be doing or where maybe their skills and their talents can be of service to, to the greater human race and there's a huge, I think, misconception and armin and I are going to talk about this, but there's like a huge misconception that your purpose only exists in your job and in your career, which is where we tend to really want to find it, because we spend most of our lives at work right, making money to sustain our human state, so we want to tend to throw our purpose or have our job be our purpose, because we feel more fulfilled and and like humanified if we do that, versus our purpose being like outside of our jobs. So there's also like a contradiction there too, because there's like the purpose of being a human and then the purpose of being like an employee oh yeah, I mean, that's why earlier, when we were talking offline, and I was like what is my purpose, mj?
Speaker 1:I know why, why I do the work that I do.
Speaker 1:I've shared it many times in different capacities and and it is because I want to inspire and educate people to find their why and be as fulfilled as they can be. So to me, that is why I do the work that I do. But the reason why I was like what is my purpose is because now I have other roles in my life. Right, becoming a mother has made me rethink things as to why do I do what I do, and I have this whole bigger purpose of raising another human being. So I think, in that sense, to speak to what you're talking about, like we have different roles and, over time, like things shift in our lives to where different roles and identities will take precedence over others too. So our purpose is definitely way bigger than the job that we have, because it's in the way that we show up for our community, it's in the way that we serve other people who are in our lives, and that can happen through volunteer work, that can happen in our home life or it can happen in our workspace.
Speaker 2:Yeah, in our, in our, or it can happen, in our workspace. Yeah, I'm a firm believer that, like your purpose, development or evolution, is a constant form of discovery. You have to constantly I mean, I don't want to say like your attention shouldn't solely be your whole life like figuring out your purpose. Yes, figure it out, but also enjoy life because through happenstance and through unforeseen events, like you also discover your purpose. And it's constant discovery. It's constant rediscovery or reignitement I don't know if that's a word, but like of that feeling, of that thing, of that movement, of that reason. And I think, through the roles like you're talking about, as we obtain and we shift, through promotions, at work, through different phases of our lives, we are constantly rediscovering our purpose, redefining it, realigning it with who we are. So for me, it's always like this constant, like okay, go back to the drawing board. Or like making sure that this is what it is, or how can I tweak it, or what has changed over time too absolutely.
Speaker 1:But what breaks my heart is that when we talk to young adults, people who are making decisions, they feel this immense pressure to figure out their career goals and like tie that in with what is the bigger purpose and what am I passionate about and who am I, and then like they're also feeling like they need to make the decision now and this is going to be the end, all be all and the only one thing that they can be for the rest of their lives.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's hard when we, you know, we work with young adults and it's because they're moving on to this huge transition in their life. Right, they're becoming humans, functioning society members that are going to give back and they need to find this purpose, because their purpose maybe was school or education or this one program or training or whatever it is, and now they're moving on and they need to find something to fill that hole. And a lot of times we struggle with understanding what our purpose is, or hearing that it's not one thing or you don't have to figure it out now, or you won't figure it out right now, at the age of like 24.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, the amount of time I've had. Most clients students kind of have a reaction to what I'm saying when I talk about career development being a lifelong process and our roles shift and our priorities shift, our values may evolve over time. Like the amount of time I have, like this visceral reaction, or like they get tensed up and they're like, oh you know, it's not what they want to hear. It's not what they want to hear because they they want to hear that. Okay, you like x, y and z. You studied x, y and z. Here are 10 jobs that you can pursue and pick one that sounds the best, that also matches the lifestyle, and like the finances that you're wanting to um have and then, and that's it, and you're gonna do that for the next 30 to 40 years and then retire that's yeah when you put it that way.
Speaker 2:No, thank you, um, I was when you said that I was thinking about. Recently I did a presentation to high school students, um, for the la county, and I remember one of them asking me like how do you pick your major? And you know like your major is so well. They framed the question of in the sense of like your, how do I pick my major? Because clearly it's a big deal between my major and my career and what I do for the rest of my life.
Speaker 2:And you know like I, I my philosophy is well, specifically to education is what you study is not going to confine you to a list of 10 things, right to the list of five my parents gave me or whatever. So I remember saying to the students like well, your major, pick what you enjoy and you want to study. It's great if you know what you want to do in the long term. It's also great if you don't know and you get to try different majors out. You don't have to have it figured out because in the long run your major won't matter. The amount of eyes that looked up at me because they're in this program for like extra support and things like that, I was shocked because I think we create a society of little humans who, like, are growing up to be like.
Speaker 1:I need to pick one thing and I'm going to be perfect at this one thing.
Speaker 2:I'm going to do this one thing. It's going to be like I need to pick one thing and I'm going to be perfect at this one thing. I'm going to do this one thing. It's going to be like my identity, it's going to be the thing that I do, and I remember like saying that and these kids were just like what in the world is this woman saying yeah?
Speaker 2:And I explained it a little bit more and I talked about how people you know choose things and when we're told to choose things at a young age, like we don't really know. And education sometimes makes us take certain paths that like don't align with the bigger picture or like make us like stay confined to certain opportunities, and college is a time where you're like able to pick them out. But clearly this was for high school students, but this goes to anyone your purpose, what you studied or what you have been doing for the last 20 years, your purpose, what you studied or what you have been doing for the last 20 years shouldn't dictate your purpose and what you do for the next 20 years of your life?
Speaker 1:yeah, absolutely, because guess what people are dynamic. We are going to evolve. Actually, it's a good thing. You don't want to be in the same job for 30, 40 years. That sounds miserable, to be honest. You want to experience different things. You want to put yourself in situations that challenge you. I mean, I can't think of any single time that I've had growth. When I think back to my experiences, it's been where I was in an uncomfortable situation and then I had to like, develop a new skill. Then I grow from that experience right? So imagine not. And of course it's uncomfortable, so you don't want to put yourself in those situations. But taking those risks and trying different things and staying curious is really what is going to help you kind of create your purpose over time, because you're going to grow and develop new skills, figure out new interests and new things that you didn't realize were aligned with you before, and then you start exploring those and then that leads to another opportunity keep learning, keep growing, don't, don't, don't confine yourself.
Speaker 2:I said that earlier, but I'm going to say it again and I think here I have like a story of someone that I know, who. Their purpose, like from the third person perspective to me and they've shared this just to not the specific language is to like entertain. They enjoy, like seeing people laugh and happy people together and connecting others and just like they're just such a positive person. They're always smiling, they're always laughing, there's always a joke up their sleeve or just a way to make you feel lighter, and I know that. And they went into the entertainment business in the sense of like, um, food and, um, I guess, beverage or liquor, I don't know, I don't know what to call it.
Speaker 2:But they started out as a bartender Um, honestly think it was uh, behind a bartender and then they became a bartender and they just constantly are entertaining individuals through um, through stories, through jokes, through music, like I just remember hearing stories and then from that that opened a different opportunity and this person was like now, working for the two top, like bars or companies in Los Angeles for liquor and then ultimately got like, went from being a bartender to now, like this, sales rep for a huge liquor company and was traveling all over the world and seeing how that liquor was made.
Speaker 2:And I've always admired them because their purpose.
Speaker 2:They've followed that and they're someone with not a traditional education experience and they never went to higher education, but their purpose has grown with them throughout all these experiences and they've always held on to that, no matter where they've climbed or the roles that they've had or how it's shifted over time and they've just I think I've seen them tweak it a little bit to whatever their, whatever life phase they're living in. It's always something where I constantly see this person where their skills have grown, have shaped them, have helped them shape themselves for the next opportunity and have been ready for that and just constantly like learning, growing, becoming better every day, like they have this, this funny saying every time it's a close family member of mine. But but every time I make like a mistake or something, he'll tell me like you know, be better, like be better, do better, be better. And it's a joke to like tease me, but it's something that has always stuck with me and I see that in them they're always trying to do better, be better and growing to the next thing.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's amazing. What a wholesome story. I love that. So you were talking about this person kind of starting off as working behind a bartender right and then working their way up to traveling the world and growing their business and so forth and perfecting their craft. So what do you think MJ has allowed this person to find new opportunities and grow?
Speaker 2:I think it was their mindset of being open to it. They never have allowed like to hear the words no or to find different directions to get to the same outcome, like that one path. They're like I'm going to find a different route or I'm going to do this, or they've never like I've never, ever heard them say no to something or not be open to try something. They never had a limiting or fixed mindset. They've always had a growth mindset that has carried them through from opportunity to opportunity and I know that as humans we have different roles and phases, that we can't say yes to every opportunity. But I have seen him say yes to things that have dramatically changed his work experience.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, I love that. The mindset is so, so foundational to finding out what it is that we want to do and figuring out why we're doing it, figuring out who we're serving and what is the bigger reason behind the work that we do or the roles that we play in our lives. Like, having that mindset of being open, wanting to learn, wanting to grow is the foundation to unlocking these opportunities. And, on that same note of mindset, I think it's energy too.
Speaker 2:Yeah oh, he's a goofball and a positive human being. Like when he's in a rut. He's in a rut, but like 90 of the time this person is not he's in a rut. He's in a rut, but like 90% of the time this person is not. He's just like has this just light of energy?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that. But I think that energy, when you show up to the spaces that you're in with that energy, it also unlocks opportunities. Yeah, because then people gravitate towards like, okay, you're really invested in this work, you're really invested in living out that mission of what it is that you're involved. Invested in this work, you're really invested in in living out that mission of what it is that you're involved in, right, and then people gravitate towards that. That's true. So I I that's such an amazing story and kudos to your family member for thank you really embracing that. Like happenstance, growth mindset and positive energy um cycle that has clearly led them to success.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, one of the other things that I can tell you when it comes to this idea of Purpose Harmony is sometimes we want to do it all alone, yeah, and we want to go through this journey independently and figure it out all on our own. And you know, tough rocks because you're gonna need your community to do this and, as counselors, I think we really encourage people to surround themselves around others who want to uplift them, empower them and see them climb the ladder and really holistically, find out who they are. But you do need a community.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. I mean, everything comes from other people, right? So whether it's a new opportunity, whether you're learning something just connecting with other people, they may give you even something to think about that you haven't thought about before. Right, I was actually listening to another podcast, the Mel Robbins podcast, and she had Jay Shetty on her show and they were talking about purpose as well, and they were talking about asking people in your community to essentially help you figure out what your purpose is. So, asking people, what is it that you think of when you think of me? What are some descriptive words? Or what are times when you've struggled and you've thought of me as like, oh, I could be very helpful in this situation? So even in those types of conversations, your community can be a mirror for you right To help you gain some clarity.
Speaker 1:But it could also be to unlock new opportunities. We've talked about networking on this show I don't know how many times at this point and we've we've shared statistics, data 85% of opportunities are aren't even posted anywhere, if we're talking traditional jobs and so forth. So your community can be that space where you get referrals, you opportunities, and it can also just be a mirror for you to reflect and figure out how people see you, what talents they see in you, because sometimes we have blind spots.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm just soaking that in because I know like each of us have gotten to where we are through community. It's through the people around us that have uplifted us into these spaces and have seen those pockets of greatness I should say that have given us a chance to unlock that or pushed us in a certain direction that really just allowed us to get closer to our sense of purpose or live out our sense of purpose too.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, absolutely. Had I not gotten feedback about like being a good presenter back in grad school? Who knows, I may never have even had the courage to offer workshops and speaking engagements to careerize, but it's through my community reflecting back talents that they were seeing in me that I didn't see in myself because of my own limiting beliefs, right? So that's just one small example of your community being being a mirror for you.
Speaker 1:I love that. Yeah, one thing I also really want to acknowledge in finding your purpose is that you've got to take risks too, because you can certainly find your purpose in your current situation and the work that you're doing and the roles that you currently have, but you can also take big risks depending on who you are, depending on what, what's going on in your life right now. There's so many people that I can think of who have taken a big risk when they've found alignment with something and you know it's a risk you don't know if you're going to succeed at it or how it's going to go, but knowing that this is something that's really speaking to their soul, and willing to risk everything to get there I think a lot of entrepreneurs are in that, in a in alignment or in agreement with you, because they sometimes risk it all.
Speaker 2:Right, they leave what they know and what they're comfortable with and go out and start something, a new adventure, without fully understanding or seeing the big picture or the end result.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, that's my husband as one example. He chose to leave his job the year we had a baby, so imagine that. A new baby and you all can imagine that already our life was very different and financial commitment that comes with that. But he was in alignment with his purpose and he had figured out that he wants to be a creator and offer his talents and creativity to support communities and children and be in creative spaces where he can have a positive impact in those areas. So he decided to leave and I was completely supportive because I was like yes, I'm a career counselor and I encourage you to follow your talents, follow your dreams, completely not knowing what that's going to look like.
Speaker 1:But here we are. He did it, he's doing it. He's creating multiple things in the crypto space, within children's books and many other things that he's working on. So super proud of him. But he is a prime example of somebody who reflected on what it is that he wants to offer this world and what his motivation is for the work that he does, and then he decided to take a risk so he can actually do that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I know for some of our listeners they may be thinking like why I just can't just quit my job and just do whatever it is Right, and I think that definitely comes with a lot of like planning, right I'm sure you guys talked about it beforehand Plan. There's, like you said, financial commitments and things like this. But I think Armani is also getting to the point that risks can be big, like your husbands, but they can also be smaller too, right. And just because they're small doesn't mean that they don't have enough significance as a big risk. A risk can be you asking for a different project. A risk can be you connecting with people because maybe that puts you out of your comfort zone. A risk can be you learning a new skill or trying out a different job or applying for a different role. Risks are come in all shapes and sizes. So definitely if you want to spice things up and see if your purpose is still in alignment.
Speaker 2:risk it. Do something, Try something.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for listening. If you enjoy our show, we ask that you write a review on Apple Podcasts to help us reach more people looking to level up their career Want to connect with us.
Speaker 2:More people looking to level up their career Want to connect with us.
Speaker 1:Be sure to follow our Instagrams and websites. Follow Career Rise on Instagram for career advice and motivation. To help you stay up to date on all things career. Be sure to also visit my website, careerriseorg, to book a career counseling package and access free career resources. My goal is to help you clarify your goals, make a plan and feel confident in your career journey.
Speaker 2:You can follow me on Instagram at CareerConfidentLatina for your daily dose of career advice and my journey as a first-generation Latina counselor. You can access free resources or even work with me by visiting my website, careerconfidenceonline. I want to help you grow your confidence and help you reach your career dreams. Adios.