Coffee & Career Hour

Are You Blocking Your Own Success?

• Armine & Maria Jose • Episode 68

Share episode

Send us a text

What if the biggest obstacle in your career journey isn't your resume, network, or skillset—but the way you talk to yourself? In this episode, we explore how our internal dialogue shapes our professional possibilities in profound ways.

Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck's research reveals that people with growth mindsets are three times more likely to excel in achievement tests, and similar patterns emerge in workplace success. We share personal struggles with "deficit mindset"—that persistent feeling of not being enough that can feel like hiking uphill in the blazing sun. 

It's not just positive thinking—it's about creating the internal conditions that allow you to take action, see opportunities, and persevere through challenges. We talk about highly successful people who share that they don't experience imposter syndrome and we reflect on how their beliefs impact their success.

Ready to transform your career by changing your mindset? Grab your coffee and join us for this conversation that might just change how you think about your professional potential. Subscribe, share with someone who needs to hear this message, and let us know: what limiting belief are you ready to leave behind?

CareeRise: www.careerrise.org

CareerConfidence: www.careerconfidence.online

Follow Us on IG!

  • @ careerise_
  • @ careerconfidentlatina

Follow Us on LinkedIn:

  • https://www.linkedin.com/in/maria-jos%C3%A9-hidalgo-flores/
  • https://www.linkedin.com/in/akulikyan/
Speaker 1:

It's until you change that messaging and you have that experience too where you grow from zero to where you are and you will continuously evolve that that mindset comes with it.

Speaker 2:

You are listening to Coffee and Career Hour. We are your hosts. I'm Armina and I'm MJ, two career counselors and friends chatting about all things life and career.

Speaker 1:

So grab a cup of coffee and join us.

Speaker 2:

Welcome back to Coffee and Career Hour. I'm Armina and I'm MJ, and today we're talking about something that's at the core of personal and professional growth, and that is growth mindset.

Speaker 1:

It's that ability to stay open, to keep learning and see challenges as chances to grow, not as signs that you've failed.

Speaker 2:

And get this. Research from Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck shows that people who believe their abilities can be developed through effort and learning perform better in school, work and life. In fact, students with the growth mindset are three times more likely to score in the top 20% on achievement tests.

Speaker 1:

That's huge, and the same applies in the workplace. Those who embrace growth tends to take on more challenges, seek feedback and recover faster from setbacks. I definitely need to practice more growth mindset recover faster from setbacks.

Speaker 2:

I definitely need to practice more growth mindset. I love that. I think we all do. I think it's something we can always continue to learn and develop and grow. But I'm excited to really unpack today how developing a growth mindset and why it matters and how you can start shifting your perspective even when things feel tough.

Speaker 1:

So why don't we do this? Grab your coffee and let's get into how your mindset can shape your career journey. More than you might think.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, MJ. So when we think about, let's kind of start thinking about our own career journeys and how our mindset has really impacted our experiences, whether that was like going to graduate school or getting our first jobs after college or after grad school and essentially just doing the different things that we've been doing in our career journey like how do you think your mindset has impacted that?

Speaker 1:

it is definitely evolved. I can tell you, and you've witnessed this, I'm someone who's really quick to beat myself up or to really think that the four corners in the square is all the options that I have, or if it's this or it's nothing. So when I was younger, leading into grad school or as an undergrad, I want to say that I walked into that and I remember really thinking about like a couple options that I had, or seeing things just as they were, not really thinking beyond or wanting to explore more than what was just at face value. And as someone with that type of mindset and already knowing my identities of being first gen, low income, all these different things in the beginning of my educational and career my professional career was really a deficit mindset that I had.

Speaker 1:

And it was impacting the choices that I made, how I saw myself be able to attain certain experiences, or even valued, in a room too.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, oh my gosh, that term deficit mindset that's such a deep word like it impacted me. I like I felt something when you said that, um, just because you know, when you operate from a deficit mindset, you're always beating yourself up. I resonate with that too.

Speaker 2:

I'm always like so hard on myself and, um, even when people on the outside will tell you like, oh you're doing great, or that was so awesome, or you performed, or you have this skill, like you don't even believe it because you're so in this mindset of like I'm not good enough and you have your own limiting beliefs, right. So I think we all, into some capacity, have that and that term. Deficit mindset is like operating from this space of like I don't have enough, I'm not enough, and that's just like an uphill. It feels like an uphill battle, right. You're constantly just like sweating and like imagining like climbing a mountain and you're like sweating and the sun is hitting you, but you're still trying to overcome. That's literally what I'm thinking of with deficit mindset.

Speaker 1:

That's me hiking. You just explained me hiking. That's what it feels like, though it's a constant, like challenge, and you feel that the universe I mean, in that scenario, gravity is against you in that moment and you're constantly just trying to get to the next step or reach the next. You know height at this mountain or hill or whatever it is, and a lot of people operate from this lens, and a lot of people operate from this, from this lens, and it is not good, because we're so used to looking at the bad or the negative and pointing it out that when we do do compliment ourselves, when we see ourselves in a different light, we experience something different, we feel lighter, we feel better, we feel happier.

Speaker 1:

And I think, when we do that, we're able to achieve more than what we even thought possible oh my god, absolutely.

Speaker 2:

I think the mindset itself is so impactful in like motivating us to take action and ability to see opportunities that are right in front of our faces.

Speaker 2:

But if we're not seeing, we're not operating from a growth mindset, we're not even able to see the opportunities half the time right or see the skills that we have to offer right. And so mindset is so important for those reasons. Not because it's this magic formula that's gonna you know all of your dreams are gonna come true, but it's like it's gonna help you take action. It's gonna help you feel better about yourself and come back stronger, even if you do mess up, which is inevitable because we all experience setbacks or failures and so forth. But not taking like a setback as a, as a message that I'm not good enough, see, I knew it, like I should have never done this and my life sucks and I I don't have the opportunity that other people have. And, um, if and not not thinking that way and having that opportunity, like, okay, I messed up, let me learn from this and move forward, that mindset helps us take action and actually grow it's funny you mentioned that because you were talking about metaphors.

Speaker 1:

For some reason, this is like sticking in my head your growth mindset, think about like a car is your growth mindset. Your brain is the motor, is the messaging you tell yourself to other parts of your body to actually get it to move. If you do not give it the messaging to move forward, the motor will not work, the parts of the car will not move forward. And I was thinking about that specifically when I was transitioning from grad student to a full-time career member and I remember being like what's wrong with me? You know, like I have all the experience, all these different things. Maybe I just like suck, like all the things you were just saying.

Speaker 1:

And I remember there was this one day where I was like you know what today I'm going to tell? Like I was looking, I was reviewing my resume and I was like I'm going to tell myself that I'm, I'm great, I'm a great career counselor, even though I've never done it full-time. I'm a, I'm a great teacher's assistant when I was doing a TA ship in grad school. I'm, I'm great at being a counselor. I'm a great counselor. I remember that day. I don't know if this is manifesting or Jesus or what, but like I remember getting like three emails for interviews oh my gosh, I love that and I was like what, like it was this, this sense of confidence.

Speaker 1:

But I wasn't lying to myself. That's just the truth. I just we're so hard on ourselves sometimes that we it's almost like our mindset blocks us from opportunities that are naturally coming our way oh, absolutely, my God.

Speaker 2:

That's so cool that you experienced that, because what you're talking about is essentially manifestation, manifesting opportunities, not that they just came and fell into your lap, I don't know where. Obviously you had applied to those positions, you had taken action and everything right. But when you start shifting your internal world like the way you speak to yourself and the way that you see yourself, and start seeing things in more positive light, like I am successful, I do have the ability to do this, I can do this then opportunities are. It's like an energy, because life is all about energy, right, I remember. Think of physics and science and and, and the universe and how things work. It's all energy. So, the energy you put out, it could either block opportunities or it could allow opportunities to come your way, and it could be more natural if you're positive.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, right, and that's exactly what happened to you, yeah yeah, I was thinking honestly about so much how people go about their everyday lives and you're you're absolutely right the energy that they put out if you wake up. And you're you're absolutely right the energy that they put out if you wake up and you're like, oh, this is gonna be a bad day, I'm gonna have a bad day at work. Or I spelled I don't know something on me that happens to me often like this sucks, it ruined my outfit, all these different things you really do. Just live that out. You live out the message and you tell yourself and I love that you that you brought it to manifestation because you have to believe it internally to be able to do it.

Speaker 1:

It reminds me a lot, too, of the book atomic habits by james clear and his um, his um, his example about like your internal messaging. And I don't remember, so don't quote me on this. It's really bad that I don't remember, but I remember him talking about like running. At the time I was reading the book because I was getting back into fitness and running and all these different things and he was saying, like you cannot call yourself like I'm not a runner. You can't say I'm not a runner. You have to say, like I am an athlete, I am a runner, to believe it, to do it.

Speaker 1:

And I loved that because I've always said like well, I'm not a runner, or I'm not a long distance runner, I only run like one or two miles. But because I was treating myself that way, maybe I wasn't performing my best, and now that I speak to myself differently, when it comes to like fitness and what it is, I'm able to attain and achieve more than what it is, and it really is just the energy you put out, but it's internally what matters the most.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, oh, my gosh, yeah, I mean I can resonate so much with that because lately, since I've been wanting to work out but I haven't been I know my internal dialogue, I'm very aware of it Like I've been telling myself I'm not the, I'm not somebody who works out right now, like I don't have the time to work out, and I've been catching myself telling this. I'm like the more I tell myself I don't have time, the less time I'm going to have, because the universe is going to keep mirroring this belief that I have, that I don't have time. So I've been actively working on, like you know what you need to believe that you have time and then you will make time, just like everybody's. Because when we look at people who are successful let's say, for example, using the working out as an example people wake up at 5 am. I know you've done this, this right To work out.

Speaker 2:

You make the time. We have the same number of hours in the day and we have competing priorities. We both have 9 to 5 jobs. But I'm like, okay, using you as an example, you wake up at 5 am. I could do that too, but I don't believe right now that I am somebody who works out.

Speaker 1:

So I'm not even motivated to take the action, to do the steps right. Yeah, absolutely. It gets me thinking about how many people who want to do different types of jobs or like always pass out on the promotion or never take the risk to apply for a different job or a leadership role because they're like, oh, like I don't see myself as a leader, or like right now it's not the time or this is just, this isn't this. I'm comfortable doing whatever it is Right, and they may see themselves as less than than what they can really offer and that really can impact your career and your overall development as a human in this world and internally. It really impacts you and how you choose to engage with your career.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, oh my gosh, yeah, I've I've been in that situation before too like there's clearly a lot of um, I think.

Speaker 2:

We think it's like oh, I'm just being realistic right like realistically, I have all these different priorities, so I don't know if I can take up a promotion or if I can actually do what's expected of me in this job. Right, let's say if, if an opportunity comes your way. But then sometimes you see people who apply, who get the, and they might not always be the best fit for that role, and I've been catching myself thinking like this I'm like okay, this person clearly doesn't have the limiting belief that they are not capable of doing this or that right now is not the right time for them, and and that belief has gotten them to get this promotion. And however they're performing is another story.

Speaker 1:

But they were able to like actually take the action, apply and get the role right yeah, it really is a reflection of how you believe in yourself and where it gets you. Because I've thought about that too, about like people who I see like on the news, or like people on social media who post like different positions or like things that they've done. I'm like dang, you really like not, and it's not in a bad way, it's just I don't have that sense of belief, that deep sense of confidence in myself, even though, like I've been told, like you do portray a lot of confidence and all these different things. I internally don't feel that way. But when I see other people, I'm like wow, like their messaging is very different than mine, because mine clearly stops me from doing that or has stopped me from doing something similar or going out there, putting myself out there in a certain way, where I'm like dang, like this person and I aren't that different.

Speaker 2:

It's our messaging that makes us very different, that leads them to different experiences and opportunities yeah, yeah, it's amazing, like when you look into the energy of the way the world works or in the manifestation space they talk, the teachings talk about like universal laws, and like one of the universal laws is like that outer world is a reflection, it's a literally a mirror of your internal world.

Speaker 2:

So in your internal world, if you believe you're not successful, you believe that, like I'm okay with a regular job, like quote, unquote, right? Or I'm not a leader, I can't lead anybody, I can't manage anybody, right? If you believe this, then your external world is just going to mirror back what you keep telling yourself, right? And so this concept of growth mindset, the concept of being open, the concept of really like using positive language and believing, having that true, like feeling that I am successful and I can do this, is going to help you take action and get into those spaces. But the trick is, the question really is how do you believe these things, right? If you haven't like been in those kinds of situations before? Like am I lying to myself? Am I manipulating myself? How can I actually believe I'm successful if I haven't seen it?

Speaker 1:

yet, yeah, and that brought that. That was. I was actually going to mention how, when I was a grad student, the same example that I shared in the beginning, like I, you know, fake it till you make it is something that we don't really like on this podcast, because we want you to be authentic to yourself.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

We don't want you to fake it till you make it because you're you and you should be getting and attaining whatever it is that you want. But I didn't have a lot of experience and I had, I guess, taken it upon myself. That day I was like, really took a hard look and was like I do have what people are asking for. I am great, I did believe it in that small Tinkerbell experience. But at the end of the day it wasn't until I can see now, looking back five years, how much I've grown through my experience to strengthen that mindset. And if it hasn't been for those experiences, those people, those people, the employers, the jobs, the lessons, the presentations, the failures, the positives, I would not have I'm still working on it, but a stronger growth mindset than I did when I started.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, because I think sometimes what happens is people will think that, oh, I have to know everything and be completely ready before I, like take this next step. Right, but that's not how life works, because life is all about learning and growing. So, as long as you have the skill to learn and the willingness to learn and the willingness to like take a deep look at yourself and be like, ok, this is where my skill gaps are, but I can learn this and I'll go out of my way to learn this, as long as you have that, you take up that new offer, you try the new thing and then, in that experience itself, you're learning and growing and then, sure enough, the universe is going to mirror what you believe that you can do this yeah I remember when I started um working, my current position presenting had never been something that came naturally to me.

Speaker 1:

That is hard to believe and I remember starting out and I was scared and trembling like a chihuahua. I remember that so hard in the beginning and it really didn't come from when I was like faced with seeing how engaged people were or how like people would laugh at the silly jokes that I would make or just like come up with the strangest metaphors throughout a presentation that I noticed and it's hard to tell myself like you really are a great presenter, you are a great public speaker and, yes, I can get really hard on myself or be like oh, why did I say that or why did I use this word or that example really didn't make sense.

Speaker 1:

Or that person's face, their facial expression, made me overthink what I'm, what I'm saying, right, and we all have those moments. But I remember and it's so funny because recently I was asked to do a public speaking event a multiple, honestly, throughout these last couple months and I really like felt it in my bones. I was like I'm really good at presenting and yes, of course I know my content, but I'm super good, I'm great at giving a presentation, I know how to engage an audience, I know how to break down concepts or use examples that are related to my audience and my population concepts or use examples that are, you know, related to my audience and my population. But it's until you change that messaging and you have that experience too, where you grow from zero to where you are and you will continuously evolve that that that mindset comes with it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, I remember when you were first like over-preparing for your presentations.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you had a lot of notes going and you were practicing, I would my iPad, my laptop, my phone. It was a. It was a lot. Yeah, so I was very grad school yeah.

Speaker 2:

And then I noticed the shift of like all right, we haven't prepared, let's go do this. And I was like, okay, I like this, but no, it's so true. I mean, on the topic of presentations, when I think about, you know, we're not naturally born presenters. Most, most people aren't right. Some, some people are born like as a performer and that's a natural skill, but most people aren't like.

Speaker 2:

When we think about when we were back in school and we had to take a public speaking class, everybody hated it, right. Anytime we had to present in any class, everybody was always nervous. It's just like part of our society, feel like. But again, for me too, it was like until I was in grad school and I was presenting and people started telling me, hey, you're a really great presenter, and at first I was shocked.

Speaker 2:

But once I started really taking that feedback and I was like, oh, I am good, people are engaged, people are smiling, I can actually, you know, ask questions and the audience actually responds to my questions, like, then I started believing it and then it started getting even better and better and then I got roles where I have to present, like the current role that we're in right now, where it's an integral part of of the job, and then in my business I'm like presenting to audiences left and right. So with that too, it's like I would have never thought I would have done this but it wasn't until I started believing it that then I started to be in more of those spaces, and being in those spaces I grew even more.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's almost like an internal magnet or like the universe's magnet pulling you into different spaces that allow you to experience that too. Because, trust me, there are times where I still get nervous and I'm like, dude, you're not a good public speaker. Like, are you really sure? And I all hesitant, and I'll be like, are you sure you want me to do this or are you sure you don't want someone else?

Speaker 1:

Or be positive, that email was meant for me or whatever it is, and and it's me second guessing myself but it it is that exposure that really does strengthen the mindset and it does lead you to this like successful version of who you are in these different spaces. But it's also you have to remember it's a constant evolution, because you cannot I mean you, maybe you can. I'm just gonna say this from my experience. I do not believe you can constantly have a growth mindset. You're gonna go back and forth with a fixed or deficit mindset in this space, because there's gonna be a balance, but you always come up to have a growth mindset yeah, oh yeah, I absolutely agree with that, because you know, life isn't easy.

Speaker 1:

I mean, we can all agree to that like the young people say you know, life is lifing okay, yeah, yes, yes, life is lifing.

Speaker 2:

There will be setbacks, there will be challenges, there will be times when you question yourself and, honestly, that's a good thing too, because, like, if you're not questioning yourself, then there's something up there.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you have no sense of awareness. Yeah, so that's probably not the best either, but those are natural and good. But I think it's the ability to catch yourself and because we tend to, as human beings, get very like it's stuck in a loop of, like negative thinking, right, catch yourself, like, okay, what am I doing? Am I really being honest with myself? Like all these negative thoughts, or am I just feeding into my negativity feeling, feeding into my emotions right now and just like being even more drastic and being even extra negative than I? Then I need to be yourself stopping that language that you use that's stopping you from taking action or feeling motivated, and really just actively, constantly working on yourself to have a growth mindset, to be open, to attract more success and more opportunities. It's an uphill battle and I think it's just something you have to always be self-aware of it takes a lot of work, yeah, and it's not easy.

Speaker 1:

This work is not for the week. It's not well. I mean, I'm weak at some points and it is. It is I need it, but it's. It does take a lot of energy from you, and it's something that's not going to be fixed in a day, nor in a week, nor in two weeks. It's not a 14-day remedy. It's not something that you can just, you know, pop in drink with water and you'll be fixed. It's something you have to constantly work on and that goes hand in hand with your life and your career. It's something you have to constantly be pushing at, yeah, and you have to be ready to do the work, and and the work is here for you to do. So it's all about how you tell yourself that message, because guess what? Success is at the other end of the tunnel or at the door. If the tunnel sounds really scary for some of you, you know you have to go out and chase it, though yeah.

Speaker 2:

So I have a question for you, mj. The concept of imposter syndrome is very in line with, you know, having limiting beliefs and maybe not believing that we're good enough and successful Right can be remedied with this concept of growth mindset right? Because I've heard really successful people, successful entrepreneurs, being asked like do you have imposter syndrome? And people have said no, like I don't believe in imposter syndrome, like I don't have that, and that's not common to hear, especially in our field, in our space education and academia and career development. We hear and talk and live and breathe imposter syndrome. We experience it ourselves. Um, but I thought it was really interesting to hear these very successful people say like they don't have it. And now that I think about it, as we're talking about these concepts, I'm like it kind of makes sense because they don't allow themselves to think with these limiting beliefs, which has allowed them to take action to get to the success that they have. So I don't know what are your thoughts?

Speaker 1:

on that. It's funny because the first time I heard, uh, people say that they don't believe in imposter syndrome, I was shook to my core because, you're right, we live, breathe. I say it all the time. I have imposter syndrome at least four times a week. It's just like a workout. You know, it's multiple's, multiple times, but you're, you're right, they, they put this like barrier, this boundary between themselves and this negative connotation, these negative conversations, all the things that can weigh them down. And I also.

Speaker 1:

Again, it's this uphill battle that for them, they're working towards their happiness, their success, their positive energy, and they're not going to allow that conversation to even take up space, because if you do, it's like a crack right. The more you give it room, the more you give it energy, physical movement, it grows. So these people really work to have like a thick layer of mindset. You know, say, you have thick skin, you have a thick mindset that really protects you from all of this. So I do. I do believe that people can feel and say that they don't experience imposter syndrome and maybe it starts with, like us, removing that from our language and talking instead of saying, oh, you have imposter syndrome, and focus on like you're resilient. Yeah right, you have a resilient mindset. I said that earlier today to someone and I was like I love that, like no, it's, there's nothing wrong with you. You just have a resilient mindset and we choose. We need to actively choose to do this for ourselves.

Speaker 2:

Oh, I love that. Yeah, it absolutely makes sense because I'm 100, 100 guaranteed that these people, who are successful millionaires, have had setbacks and have had times when they doubted themselves and were probably crying in tears because, you know, things weren't working out as they planned. But they didn't feed into the negative thoughts and they like pushed through and, of course, then, like that, manifested into success. So I I understand why they would say like I don't have imposter syndrome, though that doesn't mean that they're delusional and that they've never experienced challenges or limiting beliefs in their lives.

Speaker 2:

And I think what happens sometimes, especially in Today's society, where everything is very much focused on validating people's experiences and beliefs and feelings and oh, that is great Obviously we're counselors and that's what we're in it for. But I think sometimes it gets too extreme, where it's like every negative thought, every negative experience we have is like validated by everybody and that like feeds into it. So then you're like constantly like yeah, this is how I feel, this is, my life is hard, I don't have the resources, I don't have the opportunities, and then you attract people who are in the same situation and then you guys just like. It's a cycle of like, just feeling down on yourselves too.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and you know like we have to actively think as practitioners, how we, how we are changing this, how we are working with this newer generation who's entering this really tough spot in the world right now, how they choose to engage with it, how they choose to speak with themselves, how they choose to be proactive about the opportunities that are out there and not, let you know a small setback be the thing that defies them.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah. And when I interact with people who've grown up in other countries, like when I've had international students, clients or family members who've grown up in other countries their limiting beliefs are a lot less. The fact that they were able to come to this country, the fact that they were able to come to this country, the fact that they were able to have whatever opportunities they have in this country, though it's difficult, it's still like better than the challenges they had in their home countries, right? Or just like everything is more positive for them. It's like this is an opportunity I'm going to embrace it and these people end up being more successful because they don't feed into the challenges.

Speaker 2:

They feed into opportunity mindset yep, bingo, it's.

Speaker 1:

It reminds. It was reminding me of a conversation I had with my mom recently about how everything in this country so different. I was talking to her about how, when she grew up, you know, she didn't have the resources and the things. And she's like, yeah, and that's why people call this the land of opportunity. Yeah, and I was thinking about that and I was like, yeah, it's so true, but a lot of people who are born here and have only experienced america don't see it that way. They don't. It's hard for them yeah, it is.

Speaker 2:

It is and it's not a perfect country there. No country is perfect, no place is perfect, and there will be challenges in its own way, but I think the lens that you, you see things with really just shifts your experience, and that goes for career, lifestyle, relationships, money, everything, everything you can think of is impacted by the way that you see things and your, your internal language all right.

Speaker 1:

so, to wrap up this episode, we want to leave you with three key takeaways, and the first is that growth mindset is essential to success, not only in your life, but in your career.

Speaker 2:

And also that growth mindset comes from experience. So as you go through life, and as challenges come about.

Speaker 1:

Learning from those challenges, recognizing when you have a negative mindset and overcome these challenges will lead to a stronger growth mindset and remind you of how much you really can do and you will do.

Speaker 2:

Thank you so much for listening. If you enjoy our show, we ask that you write a review on Apple podcast to help us reach more people looking to level up their career Want to connect with us.

Speaker 2:

Be sure to follow our Instagrams and websites Follow Career Rise on Instagram for career advice and motivation to help you stay up to date on all things career. Be sure to also visit my website, careerriseorg, to book a career counseling package and access free career resources. My goal is to help you clarify your goals, make a plan and feel confident in your career journey.

Speaker 1:

You can follow me on Instagram at careerconfidentlatina, for your daily dose of career advice and my journey as a first-generation Latina counselor. You can access free resources or even work with me by visiting my website, careerconfidenceonline. I want to help you grow your confidence and help you reach your career dreams. Adios.