Coffee & Career Hour

You’re Not Lost—You’re In Your Own Way And Here’s How To Move

• Armine & Maria Jose

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We break down why clarity isn’t missing—it’s blocked by perfectionism, comparison, fear of choosing wrong, and low self-trust. Through our stories and client wins, we share simple steps to act before you feel ready and build a path that fits your life.

• how anxiety and control show up during transitions
• perfectionism stalling applications and exploration
• small experiments to reduce the stakes
• comparison on social media and LinkedIn
• reframing timelines and tracking real progress
• fear of choosing wrong and the myth of a forever career
• happenstance and learning from unplanned choices
• culture, family pressure, and communication
• building self-trust through boundaries and reps
• practical prompts to choose, learn, and adjust

Thank you so much for listening. If you enjoy our show, we ask that you write a review on Apple Podcasts to help us reach more people looking to level up their career.


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You can follow me on Instagram at Career ConfidentLatina for your daily dose of career advice and my journey as a first generation Latina counselor.


You can access free resources or even work with me by visiting my website, careerconfidence.online


I want to help you grow your confidence and help you reach your career dreams.

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SPEAKER_01:

Social media and people posting all the successes and the positive things, not knowing what's happening on the other side of that screen. But even though we all understand that, I think everybody understands that like people are just posting like a highlight of their life. There's so much more to it than that. You are listening to Coffee and Career Hour. We are your hosts. I'm Armina. And I'm MJ. Two career counselors and friends chatting about all things life and career. So grab a cup of coffee and join us. Have you ever had one of those moments where you're staring at your career options and you're like, okay, universe, please send me a sign. Any sign, literally anything.

SPEAKER_03:

Right? And then the only sign you get is your own anxiety yelling back at you, like, pick the right one or else.

SPEAKER_01:

Exactly. And the funny thing is, most people think that the problem is that they don't know what they want.

SPEAKER_03:

But really, it's that their mindset is blocking the clarity they already have.

SPEAKER_01:

So today we're breaking down the four of the biggest culprits perfectionism, comparison, fear of choosing the wrong path, and lack of self-trust.

SPEAKER_03:

Because honestly, clarity isn't something you magically discover in a dream. It's something you create once you get down from your own way.

SPEAKER_01:

So grab your coffee, settle in, and let's talk about why you're not as lost as you think you are.

SPEAKER_03:

Love it. Let's talk about it, Armin. Have you ever had or have you ever like physically felt like you have to get physically out of your own way so you can grow, do something else, or choose maybe a different option that is staring you right in the face?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, absolutely. Every time I've had a transition in my life, like thinking of from college to grad school, grad school to entering the world of work, switching from one job to the next, every single time I had to work on my mindset to get out of my own way, stop talking myself out of that.

SPEAKER_03:

I feel like every transition I've made, anxiety has pushed me to do it. Um and that's just because I'm in such a different place now. And I was I've always been mature, but I've been younger as I made those decisions in the past. Whereas now I feel confident to be able to make those decisions where anxiety is not forcing me to choose something or to do something drastic to change. But I can actively like think about solutions and be able to see how I'm gonna be positively impacted.

SPEAKER_01:

That's so interesting. So when you say anxiety pushed you, was that like the fear of what might happen or what might not happen if I don't do this? Like what was the anxiety around? Both.

SPEAKER_03:

It was both. I I can vividly remember like after grad school, not knowing what type of job I was gonna have, like frantically applying for things. Like that's the that's the best example I can think of right now and how anxiety like forced me to just like take the first job and then like figure it out along the way. And I was like not reflective. I hated my life. It was like a whole thing, and like nothing was going the way I thought. I was has a master's degree, super excited to have one because loved my time in grad school, but was severely depressed because I hated my experience. I hated what sorry, not my experience in graduate school, my experience after, where it was like transitioning into that world. So the transition parts have always been really hard. But I will say as a person, as a human, change has always been really hard for me too.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. I mean, transition is hard in general, I think, for most of us, because because it's like the death of something previous, like a previous version of yourself or what you're used to, what you're comfortable with, and you're like being reborn into a new version of yourself, which is always comes with uncertainty and and and it's scary.

SPEAKER_03:

It's crazy because I'm a I'm type A. There has to be a plan for the plan, for the plan of the plan, and then like checklists upon every single thing. Like, man, um, I can think of a recent deadlines and timelines.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

I can think of like a recent um family affair or event where I just had like massive deadlines, checklists, things. Like I had deadlines for the deadlines. It was just insane. And when life the way it is doesn't, it doesn't work that way. That is really scary for me. Um, because then it feels like nothing's going my way or like the world is against me. And then I'm really pleading to the universe and Jesus for a sign.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it's hard. And let me tell you, MJ, ever since I've become a mother, that is one of the lessons that I am destined to learn as a mother, is that you cannot have like structure and perfectionism in in and no matter how much you plan it, because things won't go your way or things won't go as planned. And like leaning into that and being okay with that, I think is one of the biggest lessons my soul is here to learn. And I think motherhood is like really pushing me to learn that because literally just the other day I had a tantrum because my son wasn't sleeping at his bedtime, and I need him asleep at a certain time so I could have my evening to myself. So I had a tantrum about that, which sounds funny now, but in the moment, it was the perfectionism. It was the like, I need things to go my way and I need to have control of things, right? Yeah, and a lot of us are that way.

SPEAKER_03:

I mean, if when when you and I are working with clients and we're helping them with their interviews and we're like, what's one of your biggest strengths? What kind of comes out of their mouth? Perfectionism, right? Like, I need to make sure everything's great. And people have a really hard time with that because we can't control every single thing, especially in your career and how life works that way.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it's, you know, I think it's a common thread among many people where it's like you, you know, need to have that control because it gives you sense of security. It gives you sense of like you have things under um under your wing, right? Like you know what to expect. And that gives us this false sense of like um comfort. But ultimately, that's not how life works. And the universe keeps testing us. And when it comes to job search and when it comes to career decisions, the perfectionism shows up in many different ways, and it can actually be a hindrance more than any it can be a strength in some ways, but it it hinders us more than it helps us.

SPEAKER_03:

A hundred I I I can't agree with you more just because I'm thinking about, you know, for the last what is it, three years, four years you've known me. How many times have I said I'm gonna go back to grad school? I think I'm gonna go do a doctor. I'm gonna wait three years, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that. And then today, what did I just tell you before we started doing this? I'm not going back to grad school. Like, and and it's why? Because I I was so scared, and that's true. Like it's I was so scared of it not going right or planning it out and making sure my husband was gonna graduate at the same time I was gonna graduate so we can, you know, like have a family and like do all these things. And that's not how life works. Like it's so silly because I I think a lot about individuals who want that structure, and I'm like, it's not like that's not how life is meant to be. It's you're meant to build it as you go and go with the flow. I am not a go with the flow person, but I think I've been forced to do that. Um, and understanding that I grow every time I allow myself to let the flow happen.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah. And and so many magical things happen in those times when we are able to let go and actually just flow with life. Um, a lot of great things come out of those situations, but like to get yourself to that point to just let go, there's always a series of unfortunate events and things that happen that like force us to have to let go. And I wish it weren't like that because like profession perfectionism, you know, really takes takes a toll on us. Like, so some ways that it can show up, right? For people when when job searching or making career decisions. And we see this with our clients all the time. It's like, I need to know exactly what I want before I take a step, right? Not applying to anything, not applying to any jobs, not shadowing any any careers, not talking to any professionals, not putting themselves out there. Or if somebody wants to start a business or go on the entrepreneurial route, not trying to make that happen until they're 100% ready. But then the caveat is you're never gonna be ready until you put yourself in those spaces and and learn from those experiences because there's no other way. You can read about things all you want online, read about careers and jobs, and and you can even talk to as many people as you want, but you're not gonna fully learn and grow until you're in those spaces.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, there's like this. Well, when it comes to careers, and I'm so sorry for my voice. I'm recovering from a cult and I'm I'm hearing it come in and out. But it's this sense of like pressuring yourself to be like the perfect thing or like have the perfect thing. Like, for example, for me, you know, like have the degree and then go get the job and then work at the school and then work at the department and then just go up the ladder and do all these different things. But if I do that to myself, I'm also not letting myself enjoy the experience, right? And it's being so structured about it. And and that's where the perfectionism comes in because I'm also limiting my own growth. And it's better, you know, like for that type of person, that that professionalism in their mind, it's like just do the thing, do it well, do it as best as you can. You're limiting yourself from other experiences that could be maybe a little bit of a step to the left or to the right, but it's still a great step for you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. No, it it's hard and it's real, and many of us deal with it out there. Many of our clients, and we see this on a daily basis. But where do you think it comes from, MJ?

SPEAKER_03:

Oh my gosh, I can tell you right now. One of my strengths, and we've talked about Clifton's strengths on here before. My number one, it's always my number one and my number two is achiever. It's because I'm at, well, there's people very similar to me who can relate to wanting to be high achieving. I learned that a lot of in first-end individuals too, we're natural high achievers because we're the first in our family to do a lot of different things here. So we naturally feel like everything, life is a kind of like a checklist or a checkbox, and just move on to the next thing and the next thing and the next thing, and you don't really celebrate anything and it's really sucky. But it's because you're just achieving, achieving, achieving, and you don't really take your time to recognize how much you've grown or the spaces you've kind of transformed through that. And then there's just societal expectations. Yeah. I'll give you the general idea of when we are expected to embark in higher education, like you and I did. We had this societal expectation that Ward is gonna go get a job and a great job because we're psych majors. So there's also that type of expectation of you're gonna go be a mental health professional, or you're gonna go save people's lives, or you're gonna do this and that. There's a lot of pressure on the decisions that we make that we're not even like ready, like mentally to do to.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, no, there it's so many messages that we get from, you know, even the day we're born. And honestly, when we learn about psychology, we learn about the mind and how it develops, a lot of the way we see the world is actually shaped in our first seven years of life. So you're seven years old, your subconscious mind is developing. So everything you see, all the messaging um is developing your worldview. And then beyond age seven, we're functioning with all of that messaging subconsciously. So no matter how much, like a counselor may tell you, you don't have to have it all figured out. And and life doesn't work that way, no matter how much we're telling ourselves that right now in this conversation, the subconscious beliefs are what is what's driving these behaviors. And until we learn to address some of those and actually heal those subconscious beliefs that we developed from zero to eight, seven, until we heal some of that, then we will be able to actively make change. But that's what's driving that. So no matter how much we understand it logically, it's really we have to get deeper about some of these things. Um, if you're noticing like you're putting so much pressure on yourself, if you're um finding yourself and being trying to be a perfectionist, ultimately, like you want to think about where is this messaging coming from? What did I see from my family and my environment from the ages of zero to seven? And like, how did that shape my worldview? And then once you clarify and understand like this is where it's coming from, then you can start making change.

SPEAKER_03:

And that right there is a preview of what you can get when you work with Armin and Career Rise. Because I've I'm like, I'm like, yes, tell me more, Dr. Armin. I'm like, no, you're absolutely right. I mean, theoretically, that's that's really, and of course, there's like a lot of proof to how we're developing at that short age, right? And how we continue and how those life experiences really do shape how the decisions we make, where do we end up going and the things that we end up doing in the future and how we decide to change, right? Something I I do want to mention to our audience listening is how do you go from like this perfectionist mindset to completely 180 and like not be a perfection? You're not gonna do it overnight. You are not gonna wake up one day or the next week and you're just gonna be like, cool, like I'm not a perfectionist anymore. Because guess what? Like Timmy or Tommy's gonna drop the water all over the car, and then Armin and you're gonna flip out because you can't have a clean car, right? And it it's it's really just about trying. It's about trying your best and just keep doing that because you're not you you can't think about like submitting that final presentation or deadline or project or whatever, or like that final thesis version. That's not what it is. You're whatever you're doing is not going to publish, right? But it's working on just that iteration and changing the small things that make that difference and you grow from those little things as well, and you ultimately stop feeling super pressured about doing all those other things.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, absolutely. So let's say somebody is aware that they're a perfectionist and this is something that is maybe getting in the way of their career decisions, and they're what would you say, MJ, is like one actionable tip or strategy or question they can ask themselves to help them challenge themselves in this situation?

SPEAKER_03:

So my my recommendation is don't try to do it on a massive project. So, like, for example, if you're planning your wedding, today is not the day. That is not the project to do that. But if you are trying a new workout class or you're gonna try a new coffee shop or something about like you have a date with a friend or whatever, what's a small thing that you can do, right, from that event or that experience that you're about to do to learn something new about yourself? What's something small that you can change? Maybe you don't plan your outfit like I would for that date, right? And you just kind of let it go with the flow, or you don't look up the 50 coffee shops in your area and you just kind of go with it or let them choose or whatever. That will begin to help you. It's the small decisions that we have in our everyday life events that will help you lead to kind of break down that bigger imperfection around larger things, too.

SPEAKER_01:

Amazing. Amazing. Okay, so mindset blog number two.

SPEAKER_03:

Comparison. The root of all evil. Yeah, it's it's the thief of joy. I think uh Teddy Roosevelt said that, right? Yeah. So comparison sucks. Comparison sucks so hard. And I think social media does not make it easier, especially for the upcoming generations where there's so much online, and even like for people who are just living their everyday life to just be like, oh, like, look at that person, like they're getting so many PR packages, or like they just got a new home, or they got a new car, or whatever. And it's so hard to not let that stuff get to you because when you're already in a dark space, that just eats at you even more.

SPEAKER_01:

Mm-hmm. It's so hard with this day and age. I mean, it's always been around, but yeah, with social media and people posting all the successes and the positive things, not knowing what's happening on the other side of that screen. But even though we all understand that, I think everybody understands that like people are just posting like a highlight of their life. There's so much more to it than that. But it doesn't matter the way you feel in that moment when you see something that like you would have wanted to have, or like, oh, look how amazing that looks. I wish I was traveling. They look like they're having an amazing time, whatever. The way you feel in that moment is it it's almost just beyond you. And and I think it happens to every single one of us. But comparison really shows up, especially in like the job search process, career decision making, like I think LinkedIn when people are posting their successes and and transitions and things like that on there, it could cause us to feel behind because we seem like, oh, maybe, you know, our peers are further along. People my age are further along in life, they're they're getting promoted, they're getting married, they're getting, they're having children, and like, you know, what's wrong with me? Why am I not in that same like area stage of life, right? Why am I not getting promoted? And believing that like your path is less valid or less impressive compared to other people your age. And then that just like puts us in a spiral. Like we're doubting ourselves, we're doubting our progress, and everything seems like, okay, well, that was pointless. Like you don't even um acknowledge the successes you had. You start seeing them as like lesser value.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. I I know someone who um definitely recently expressed feeling that way. And I remember like just listening to them and validating their feelings because they were like, you know, like I graduated, I have the degree, I have the job, but I've been doing the job for so long. And um, you know, like I see other people take these risks or like will switch up their job or their career or their wherever their company or whatever, and they're like gaining that experience, and I want to do that. And I remember asking them, like, so what's stopping you? And this podcast episode kind of comes sooner because now I'm gonna be like, How about you listen to this? Because it's you. It's you. Well, ultimately we got there out of that conversation. We got to like, it's you, it's you have to get out of your own way to be able to take that risk. Like, why are you talking yourself out of applying for that job? What is happening where you're having a conversation where you're not worthy or where they won't see your skills? Like, why are you taking yourself out of the competition before you're even in the game? Right. So there's this sense of comparison also breaks down and really inhibits our actions to the things that we really want. And that really impacts our growth and how we see ourselves and impacts our mental health too.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's it it takes a big toll. But you know, we can reframe some of that, like reframing, you know, when when you are feeling down uh about comparing yourself to other people's paths, like thinking, okay, you're not behind, you're on a different path with different timing. Like everybody has like ups and downs in their career trajectory or just in in in how fast they're advancing to the next step in life, right? And everybody's journey is different. Like I couldn't say this more. I say this probably every single day in the work that I do. Like everybody's journey is different. There is no one formula, there is no right way to do things. Like life and the world and the world of work is just not black and white like that. And and unfortunately, the way the systems are in place with like go to school, go to college, get a degree, then get a job, then get promoted, it makes us think in these boxed categories. It's very dualistic thinking, but it just doesn't work um like that in the real world. So understanding that, reframing that, like, no, I'm not behind, my journey is different. And maybe everything you had to go through to get to that point, it's actually it had to prepare you to get to that point. Eventually, when you get to wherever you're trying to go, everything you had to learn to be ready for that is is really that that was your journey. And honestly, you don't know what the other person had to overcome and their challenges that they had to go through. So you're only seeing the highlight, but maybe they had even a harder time than you did to get to that point. So that I I I heard that recently on another podcast, and actually that was really good message because that could help alleviate any kind of jealousy or any kind of feeling of um around other people's success because it's like you don't know what they had to overcome to get to that point, right? And so just focus on your own path and your own challenges and how those prepared you to the point that you're trying to get to.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm gonna challenge the the listener, you know, your motive motivation is never gonna stay high. Okay, hold on. Motivate and that's a word. Yeah, hold on. Well, motivation is is really not gonna stay high. Why? Because there's the other sense of resilience, determination, perseverance that are also gonna carry that motivation. So motivation alone is not gonna carry you to be comparison, right? It takes a lot of different work to do to be able to depict this because comparison and your motivation and wanting to change, it's gonna be ebbs and flows. Like it's it's never, there's you're never gonna find a perfect balance between those. So that's one thing that I wanted to mention too, and I'm gonna challenge you to really think about like what factual things do you have around you to prove how you're actually growing or working towards that goal. Because that's very important, because we can look at everyone in the world around us, social media, not social media, in our everyday life and our job, and our school, and our program, and our whatever, our friends, whatever. And everybody's doing something different to get to where they are, right? And and you have to really give yourself that credit, give yourself that grace, because if not, then you're just gonna beat yourself up and you're gonna you're not gonna enjoy life the way you're meant to do it. That's something that I'm gonna that's homework for you.

SPEAKER_00:

And you, because I'm laughing the minute you say you're not gonna enjoy your life.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, I uh like yes, and that's why I say motivation's not always gonna be high because there's moments for me where it's like super high and I'm super into, I'm always into my work and wanting to serve and help everybody else, but like I'm exhausted, I get beaten down and like I compare myself and I'm like, man, like what the heck? Like I work so hard or I did this thing, or um, I'm trying to be creative and like, you know, outside of work or do these other things and like it's not sticking, like what's wrong with me? And and it's because I am taking, I'm not focusing on the on MJ in the work. And I think that's also something I've noticed too. So I'm gonna ask you to reflect. I'm also gonna reflect, and then we'll check back in in a few episodes.

SPEAKER_01:

I love that. And I will be reflecting too, as you know, that I think that that's a skill that everybody should pick up on is that constant reflection. Where you were at a month ago, where you were at a year ago, six months ago, and how like you've grown and evolved, and those evidences, those action, those specific proof that like, oh, I actually grew because I acted differently in this situation than I would have a year ago. I actually had a moment like that the other day where I was like, I called my husband after the situation and the conversation happened, and I was like, oh my gosh, Arminet a few years ago would have handled that very differently than I did now. And I'm like so proud of myself. And I wish I was even more assertive in that situation and conversation, but ultimately I was assertive in the amount that I needed to be in that moment. So it worked out, but I'm like, I see the progress and I know there's even more progress to go, right? But that's a skill of life to continue to always like reflect and only compare yourself to where you were at, nobody else, because again, we don't know what other people's strategies are or challenges are and how they're investing in their own development to get to where they're at, right? So the comparison is a thief, and it is unfortunately just a part of our being as human beings.

SPEAKER_03:

All right. So mindset block number three is the fear of choosing wrong. Armina, have you ever felt like that in your career?

SPEAKER_01:

Oh my gosh, yeah, why not? Why not? If you mean why not? Like when making career decisions, right? Or like even applying to a certain job. That fear of, oh, is this the right choice for me? You know, am I taking the right step? Oh my gosh, what if, you know, this job is like more challenging than the other one? Or or when I was like choosing graduate school and uh, you know, ultimately thinking, is this the right program for me? Or what I remember when I got into graduate school and I started learning all about counseling, and then it was scary because it was a whole new world. And I was like, is this the right field for me? You know, what did I get myself into? So yeah, I felt that way before.

SPEAKER_03:

I have definitely felt that. And I've I've felt before where a choice that I make is gonna completely ruin whatever life had set up for me. But I mean, what do you know? We're here, we're alive, we're healthy, we're fine, we're happy with our job and our career so far, right? So far. But there is this sense of where there is a lack of self-assurance where we're waiting, like you were saying in the beginning, for the universe, for someone, for our parents, for our family, for our partner, for our dog to tell us what's the right thing for us. Because we get so in our heads about making the wrong decision, which does not help when we're trying to act.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it's it's real. It's real. And you know, a lot of I think that pressure or that fear of choosing the wrong, making the wrong choice comes from this like idea that we have a forever career.

SPEAKER_03:

100%. Bro. That's like two generations old.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, don't get me started on this concept. Because it's true, the world of work has evolved and honestly is gonna evolve even faster in the next few years with AI. So the the way that things are shifting, employers want dynamic people. They want people who can learn and adapt to new environments and skills. So it's about there is no forever career. Yeah, you can commit to a particular industry, but even then you're gonna change and evolve and adapt in your role so much, and one role to the next could look so different within the same industry. So that like fear of choosing wrong doesn't exist because there is no wrong. Whatever job you take, whatever decision you make, you're still gonna learn something from it.

SPEAKER_03:

I love that you said that because you know what theory I'm thinking of? Happen stance. Yeah. Happenstance. So for those of you who may are not familiar with happenstance, I've talked about it a ton on other podcast episodes too, but it's basically it's a theory, it's called happen sense learning theory because guess what? You can learn something from every choice that you make, whether it's planned or unplanned. That's essentially the theory in 30 seconds or less. And Armin is exactly talking about that because everything you do, every choice you make, you're learning something, you're growing, you be you're evolving.

unknown:

Right?

SPEAKER_03:

It's one of my favorite words to use in career development because it's not just that we're going up or down or sideways, but we're changing, we're evolving. We're, we're, there's something happening inside spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically that's different. And every choice, everything you do teaches you something. Whether it was the not the right job, or whether that one was harder than the last, or whether you thought that working with this person was gonna be created in it wasn't. Right? Whatever it was, that is gonna teach you something, and it's gonna teach you something about yourself and how to take that next step as well.

SPEAKER_01:

Absolutely. I'm wondering, MJ, as we're thinking about this, right? It sounds very um appropriate for like an individualistic culture, which we live in in the US, where you know, it's it's about growth and development and it's about the individual, and and that's all beautiful and that we support. But a lot of us come from collectivistic cultures. Yeah. And there is a lot of pressure and a lot of ideas and a lot of opinions from our culture and our families and our societies and and and all the subconscious messaging that we've received growing up in these communities and spaces about what is a good career or what it what does it mean to be stable or successful? And then those messages drive our decisions too, and the fear of like, what would my community think that uh or like that I I made the wrong choice because I don't have this stable career or whatever is expected to be in terms of success. What do you say to that, or what what are your thoughts about that?

SPEAKER_03:

One, I resonate with you because I can be telling you this, but it doesn't mean I'm applying it to myself all the time, right? And that's where I think there's a balance that kind of comes, and you have to do what works the best for you. Because sometimes we don't have the privilege to just think about ourselves and just Quit our jobs and make the next one because we have to support our families, or we have to, you know, be the person that's just working right now in in the relationship or whatever it is, or be the decision maker or whatever it comes to. And you don't have the opportunity to do that because you have to think beyond just yourself. My suggestion would be where are the little steps in which we can think about ourselves along that way? Where you're not making a completely different choice or thing that's gonna erupt your whole thing going on with your life, but where are there moments where you can make that smaller choice for yourself and you can be selfish in that little thing? Is it a boundary you can put a little bit stronger? Is it a something you want to advocate for that's a little bit different? It doesn't even have to be in your career, it can also be outside as well. Where are those pieces that you can kind of stand up and make that choice or make that different reaction or response to grow in that way too? Um, while also connecting with those around you and sharing that growth too. Because a part of reasons why people have these opinions and things is because they have zero idea what it's like to be you or what it's like to do the type of work you do. But once you start talking about it and you share it, right, in a non-aggressive way, again, non-aggressive way, people will understand and will see how you will benefit from something like that or will better understand why you're making decisions the way you are as well. So there's a lot of communication behind that, but also finding those moments where you can do it for yourself too.

SPEAKER_01:

No, absolutely. I mean, I have I've had countless times where a client would come to me and say, like, I have clarity around this next step that I want to make, right? But I don't know how to communicate that to, let's say, my parents who are maybe financially supporting me right now. Or I don't know how to communicate that to somebody else in their personal life. And and ultimately, these are like the decisions and and and the session goes around brainstorming, okay, how can you present like the reality of what it is you're experiencing and why you don't want to do X and you want to go this route, right? And the a lot of the times when they come back, they're like, it actually worked out, like it went better than I expected. And sometimes it's because we have these ideas of oh, what their expectations are, but we actually get surprised when we do have these conversations. The people in our lives who care about us ultimately care about our well-being and our success. And maybe there's some kind of middle ground that you can come to as well when you have open lines of communication too about these things. But like thinking, oh, these are the expectations that were placed on me. How can I break through from those? And then like that makes us stuck and we don't even know how to communicate or what to say, and then we get spiraled in our mind.

SPEAKER_03:

You know what you're describing? Mindset block number four, the lack of self-trust. And that does come because we constantly seek opinions and suggestions and ideas, or we're the type of person that likes to share everything to the world and consider everybody's idea. And you're I'm speaking from yours truly because I do that too. Not that I do it purposely, I do it unconscious uh or sub-I do it, yeah, without thinking about it. It just kind of comes out of my mouth. And then I consider every single thing. Again, recently working on a massive family project, did that, did not go well when I was considering everybody's ideas instead of my own. So because I didn't trust myself. And guess who suffered the most?

unknown:

Me.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah. Nobody knows what it's like to be. You know, those cheesy movies um like Freaky Friday, where people switch places. That's actually as funny as it is, it's it's rooted in a lot of what we're talking about today. Because once they like switch into each other's bodies, they realize like all the challenges that person is facing and what it's really like to be them, and then they start having more understanding and empathy toward one another. But in in in reality, being true to yourself and knowing that this is what I'm experiencing and where possible, communicating that, but then still trusting that like this is the right choice for me because nobody else is experiencing me and my body and this life and and and the challenges that I'm facing.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. And it it really does come from feeling sound in your decisions, like you know what's best for you, whether it's how you like your coffee or it's applying for that next job or taking the next job when offered, right? You know what's best, and that really does help you get out of your own way too.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, and let me tell you, you respect yourself more and other people respect you more when you can stay grounded and be a little bit more certain about the choices that you're making.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. So you want to be your best self in your career and in your life. Start trusting who you are because you're gonna get out of your own way to be your best self so others can respect you, see you, and recognize you for how great you are in this world.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you so much for listening. If you enjoy our show, we ask that you write a review on Apple Podcasts to help us reach more people looking to level up their career. Want to connect with us?

SPEAKER_02:

Be sure to follow our Instagrams and websites.

SPEAKER_01:

Follow CareerRise on Instagram for career advice and motivation to help you stay up to date on all things career. Be sure to also visit my website, careerise.org, to book a career counseling package and access free career resources. My goal is to help you clarify your goals, make a plan, and feel confident in your career journey.

SPEAKER_02:

You can follow me on Instagram at Career ConfidentLatina for your daily dose of career advice and my journey as a first generation Latina counselor. You can access free resources or even work with me by visiting my website, careerconfidence.online. I want to help you grow your confidence and help you reach your career dreams. Adios.