Revolutionize Your Networking Game w/ Robbie Samuels

If you're feeling frustrated and unfulfilled because your attempts to improve networking skills and build meaningful relationships are falling short, then you are not alone! Despite attending events, exchanging business cards, and sending follow-up emails, you may still find yourself lacking the connections and opportunities you desire.

In this episode, you will be able to:

• Understand the importance of intentionality in the networking process for enhanced results.
• Apply practical in-person and virtual networking methods to step up your engagement game.
• Build strong relationships emphasizing collaboration rather than merely swapping business cards.
• Leverage modern virtual tools to strengthen connections and broaden your networking horizons.
• Recognize networking as a method to offer support to others, enhancing your personal and professional growth.

My special guest is Robbie Samuels, a networking virtuoso with a passion for creating meaningful connections. His expertise has been recognized by NPR, PCMA, and Forbes, proving his skills are in high demand by industry leaders. As a virtual event design consultant and executive Zoom producer, Robbie has honed his craft in relationship-building, eventually becoming a TEDx speaker and Harvard Business Review contributor. He's also the author of three books, the latest being "Break Out of Boredom: Low Tech Solutions for Highly Engaging Zoom Events."

www.robbiesamuels.com

Purchase a copy of "Croissants vs. Bagels: Strategic, Effective, and Inclusive Networking at Conferences" here! 

Transcript

00:00:00
The International Association of Exhibitions and Events found that 76% of people surveyed said that networking was a top driver for why they chose to attend an event. So that's high. It's three-quarters of the people. And yet you and I both know that three-quarters of people attending a conference or attending a networking event don't leave being like, yes, I met the exact right person. That is Robbie Samuels, dropping some knowledge about networking.

00:00:26
Look, y'all know that I am all about communication, but one thing that you probably don't know about me is I really do not like networking. I don't want to use the word hate, but it's pretty damn close. Even the thought of attending a networking event gives me butterflies. I am happy to report, however, after having this conversation with Robbie, I am feeling a lot better about networking. In this interview, he gives us some really great advice, and it's practical advice that we can put to use starting today, so make sure you take some good notes.

00:01:03
Also, be sure to let me know how you fare at the next in-person or virtual networking event that you attend.

00:01:16
Welcome to the Communication twenty four seven podcast where we communicate about how we communicate. I'm your host, Jennifer Furlong.

00:01:36
I am super honored to introduce to you today's guest because he is a networking expert. As a matter of fact, he has been recognized as an expert by NPR, PCMA, Harvard Business Review, Forbes, and Inc. These are heavy hitters, y'all, okay? So this is no joke. And as an expert in virtual event design by JDC Events, we're going to learn so much from him.

00:02:05
Now, as a virtual event design consultant and executive Zoom producer, he designs and produces some pretty engaging and meaningful online experiences for his different audiences. He's the author of three books, including his latest one, Breaks Out of Boredom Low Tech Solutions for Highly Engaging Zoom Events, which we will have a link to that in the show notes for you all. And lastly, since 2016, he has hosted the Schmooze podcast. And since March 2020 hashtag no more bad Zoom virtual happy hour. Sounds like a good time.

00:02:44
Thank you so much for being a guest, my very special guest of honor, Robbie Samuels. Oh, and I didn't mention you're also a TEDx speaker and a Harvard Business Review contributor. I got to get that in there as well. So incredibly nice to see you, Robbie. How are you doing?

00:03:03
Thanks for inviting me to your show. I've written three books, and relationships are definitely a throughline for all of them because, in one way or another, they're all about engagement and connection, and community building. So I'm excited for this conversation. Yeah, I'm so glad that you said that, because obviously, with a Communication Theme podcast, the biggest thing that we focus on is relationship building and how we build those relationships effectively, we have to be mindful of how we're sending our message and how is that message being received to our different audiences. That's why I wanted to have you on the show because you have so much experience in the networking realm.

00:03:45
I mean, you are able to speak on so many different topics. But today I really wanted Robbie to come on the show to really talk to us about how networking is changing in this new experience that we're having. We're kind of post-COVID. Not really, but yeah, post-COVID. So we're starting to get back into the person face-to-face type of situations, going to conferences and networking events, but we're also still online at the same time with a lot of these different types of events.

00:04:20
Do you mind just taking us back a little bit? Tell us what's your origin story, where are you from? How did you end up in this space? Talking about networks? Yeah, so I worked in a nonprofit for 15 years, organizing fundraising events and doing major gifts.

00:04:37
And I was organizing 25 events a year for them. But about a year in I launched a meetup group and that actually ran for eleven years. We hosted hundreds of events and had thousands of members. But at the end of that first year, we brought together our regular attendees and we sort of talked to them about what kind of space we were trying to create. And there were maybe like 18 people gathered together to coffee shop.

00:05:01
And we talked about, can you come a little bit early and greet people because the newcomers always come early and there's no one there to talk to them and I'm busy setting up can you help with the name tags? Sure. And then I said okay. And then like mingle and schmooze and work the room and they go look dead and deer in headlights like the what? And it turned out most of the people of the 18, more than half were shy and or introverted.

00:05:25
And so for them, it just felt like, what? But they preached the space we had created, so they wanted to continue it. So I was operating out of Boston at the time and Boston has sort of a bit of a reputation for being a little cold-shouldered at first to people. And so it's really hard to kind of break in and find your friends. And so we really wanted to break that down.

00:05:46
And we started training people. I started creating a curriculum and that curriculum became Art of the Schmooze, which was a networking talk that I did for eleven years before the pandemic kind of quashed it. I had this talk and I was offering a pro bono. This is like 2005, six, seven, eight, that kind of time frame. And then 2009 I get invited and paid to speak.

00:06:10
The funny thing is it's on the topic of fundraising and someone says, Robbie, I know that you speak on networking and I know that you are a fundraiser. Will you come to DC and train our board of directors on how to fundraise? And I was like, sure. So that's how I became a paid speaker. And then I started offering networking training as a paid speaker.

00:06:32
And then we made it really big when foundations hired me. So I was speaking to boards of directors, foundations, that kind of thing. I leave the career behind at the end of 2014 and go full time with entrepreneurship. I launch a podcast. I'm trying to figure out who my new audience is going to be.

00:06:46
I'm looking into doing work around conferences, and networking at conferences. I ultimately decide to write a book on that topic that comes out in 2017. 2018, I launch a full program, a coaching program. Write for Harvard Business Review 2019. Do a TEDx Talk boom comes out in January 2020.

00:07:05
TEDx Talk is published. I am poised to be an overnight success ten years in the making. Two months later jen nobody cares about networking at conferences, which had been my entire focus, like networking at events. So I had to find a new way to show up and offer value. And I ended up writing a blog post called Nine Ways to Network in a Pandemic.

00:07:30
And that came out on March 12, 2020. And I was looking at that list that night. It was a Thursday evening, and I saw that number three said, to host a virtual happy hour. Now, I'm a person who always hosts dinners at conferences. I gather people for whether I'm even attending the conference or not.

00:07:46
I've done this when the conference is in my area. I've organized speakers to Get together. I'm going to an event on Wednesday. I've organized the speakers to get together ahead of time. This is who I am.

00:07:54
So I'm like, oh, I'll just do that virtually. So I hosted my first virtual happy hour, march 13, 2020. Long story short, I had no idea that that was going to revolutionize my business. That within eight months, I had a thriving six-figure business based on all new revenue streams. I became a virtual event design consultant and executive Zoom producer.

00:08:15
I had a certification program put together to help other people become confident and confident using Zoom. It all happened, and in 2021, I published a book that really explains how I did that. I'm a business growth strategy coach, and I was able to really take what I was teaching my clients during that time and apply it to my own business practices. That smallest big result came out. My first book is Croissants Versus Bagel.

00:08:40
Strategic, effective, and inclusive networking at conferences. And then just like this year, on the three anniversary of that first virtual happy hour, I published my third book, Break Out of Boredom Low Tech Solutions for Highly Engaging Zoom. Because I really feel like I cracked the code on how to design these transformative, inclusive, and engaging online experiences throughout all of that, my network helped me. That is amazing. It seems like you were able to capture lightning in a bottle.

00:09:07
I mean, I know it was like ten years in the making, all of that work, but did you feel at one point it's just like all of this was just coming together? And did it surprise you or was this just something you were like, you know what? No, I could tell. I knew this was going to happen. I just knew it.

00:09:26
Well, I think there was a very freeing time at the beginning of the pandemic because we were all so self-focused that we didn't really pay attention closely to what other people were doing and trying and failing at. And so of course, I can highlight all the things I tried that worked. That's what I'm talking about today. But there were plenty of things I tried early on that didn't stick, but we were just free to keep trying. I want to keep that space because there was like a gentleness, I don't know, just felt comfortable to be practicing and trying and innovating.

00:09:57
I wrote about a year and a half ago or so, I remember writing an email to my list that basically said it was inevitable that I ended up where I am today at the time, on the path. No, it did not feel inevitable at that moment. But there is a combination of skills and passion and interest that I have that makes it make sense. Like in the rigor mirror, it all makes sense, but at the time, I just knew that events are about content and connection. I had been training people around that for years.

00:10:29
Because if you're going to make the effort to leave your home, get on a plane and travel somewhere, make it be worth it, right? You're not just going to this event to learn something, you're also going there to meet people. And people, they set a high bar around their intention for networking at an event. But then it's a very low bar as far as follow through of actually meeting the people you want to meet. And I was trying to close that gap and then suddenly the in-person was gone.

00:10:54
And we're doing it virtually. At that time, virtual meant 45 minutes of death pipe PowerPoint, followed by ineffectual Q and A and no one moderating chat. So I knew we needed to find a way to create community and connection, collaboration, all that had to happen online. And now I've done that. That's what I get hired to do.

00:11:15
And it's incredible, but I could not have envisioned that, like, March 2020, April 2020. I was really confused about what could happen. I'm glad that you mentioned the persistence that it took, as I'm sure there were mistakes made. There were a lot of lessons learned in order to get this going in the trajectory that you wanted it to go, and it's so successful. I view communication in very much the same way, and networking very much the same way as well.

00:11:48
It's almost like all a grand experiment. What may work in one situation as far as how you're communicating may not necessarily work as well in a different situation. One thing you had mentioned, everyone has really big intentions when they attend a networking event. How were you able to recognize the intentions that you brought to a networking event and whether or not those were, I don't know if I want to say, the right intentions or maybe the right intention for that moment? How were you able to get to the point where you were thinking about that aspect of it like, okay, what am I going into this expecting and making sure that I'm expecting the right thing or maybe the appropriate thing?

00:12:37
All right, I've got two things that are coming to my head right now. One is that there's actually a study that I talk about relating to the intention. The International Association of Exhibitions and Events found that 76% of people surveyed that networking was a top driver for why they chose to attend an event. So that's high. Three-quarters of the people.

00:12:59
And yet you and I both know that three-quarters of people attending a conference or attending a networking event don't leave being like, yes, I met the exact right person. Right? And so I knew there was this gap. I knew that was happening. And what I'd been coming up with in all of my presentations, I had this one networking strategy that I always would teach this tip, and it was so memorable.

00:13:23
It was such a sticky concept. And it's croissants versus bagels. So bagels are these tight clusters. So picture going into a networking event in person. There are all those people standing in those shoulder-to-shoulder huddles that are impossible to break into.

00:13:36
Those are bagels. If anybody shifts their body language and makes space for others to join, that is the croissant. So the croissant is when there's an opening in a circle, and sometimes it just naturally happens. So one of the things I teach people and one of the things I do is I walk in a room, and I look for those natural openings so that I'm not just hovering on the outside of one of these bagels, being like, hi, can I come in, please? And I also am trying to align my intentions with my body language.

00:14:04
If I'm there to meet people, if you're there to meet people, our body language should reflect that. If you stand in the corner with your arms crossed, you're just going to get cornered by someone who wants to sell you something. You got to stay in the middle of the room. You've got to know how to engage people. Get online for the buffet.

00:14:21
Get online for the bathroom. Get in line for drinks. Chitchat with people while you're doing that. So the thing that helps me stay focused and I got asked this question by a reporter and it ended up eventually being reshared on Life Hacker, which was pretty cool, but he said, what have you not shared? And I said you should draft your follow-up email before you go to the event.

00:14:48
So you're not sending it because you don't know the future, but it helps you really stop and think, okay, who am I hoping to meet there? Well, I don't know anyone specific specifically, what kind of people will be there? Well, how can I find that out? Okay, let's see. Can I get an attendance list?

00:15:06
Well, no, I don't have an attendance list. Can I see pictures from a previous event? Oh, yeah, I can see some pictures of previous events. Can I see the sponsor list? Can I see the host committee names?

00:15:13
Right? Can I see the speaker names? All that information helps you start thinking about generally the archetype of the kind of person you might want to meet. But also you might end up with a couple of actual names in your list. The speaker you want to meet, maybe there's a sponsor you want to meet from an exhibitor booth.

00:15:30
And with that in mind, you will draft one to three, maybe templates, and essentially it's going to answer how you want them to stay in touch after. Like you're just starting. You're really conceptualizing. I have this amazing conversation with Jen. Jen is the person I really want to meet.

00:15:49
How do I want her to stay in touch with me? So you're really mentally getting yourself ready to walk in that room and have that conversation. Now if you go in the room having that mental preparation and then you track your business cards on the higher priority people and you also have time scheduled after to do the follow-up. What's your likelihood of following through on the follow-up? It's very high.

00:16:13
Most of us don't have it mapped out that way. So we go in, and we collect a random stack of business cards. The higher-priority ones get mixed up with all the other ones. You don't do anything. We put them on the side of our keyboard.

00:16:24
Good intentions. And then like a week goes by. We put them in the back of our desk, a little pile, and then we're like, oh, the pile is kind of falling over. Let me organize it nicely and neatly. I'm going to put it in the drawer.

00:16:36
I have this little box in the drawer. And then like a year later you open the drawer, and you find them overflowing you're like, I don't remember they were from I don't know if I did the follow-up or not. You recycle them and you head back out to another event. So let's break that cycle and track. I can say lots more about tracking the business cards.

00:16:53
I have all kinds of ideas on that, but we have to have a plan. We're not just there to collect business cards. There's no benefit in collecting business cards. It's about building relationships. Relationships happen, Jen, when people are willing to schedule another conversation with you, it's not about that first conversation.

00:17:09
It's when they're like, yes, let's meet again. I'm laughing because it seems like you have a webcam set up in my office and you can describe my process perfectly. I've worked with people like you. Yes. And you gave some valuable advice there.

00:17:30
And it all focuses on the intentionality of networking. Number one, the idea of walking into the room and looking for the croissants versus the bagels. That is brilliant. I absolutely love that analogy because I know that I'm not alone and that walking into an event and you're right, it can be so intimidating walking into a room, especially if you are walking into a networking event, that you know absolutely no one that just gives you something to be able to look to. And then you said, write the email, draft the email before you go so that you can think about who is basically your target audience, right?

00:18:14
Who is your target? Who are you wanting to focus on? And to figure out what you want to talk about, right? You probably have more than one thing you could talk about knowing the audience. You'll have a primary thing and you might have a secondary tertiary topic.

00:18:30
And you can't go up to one person and just while holding their hand and pumping their hand in a handshake, spew out like three minutes of all the things you do, you can't do that, right? You trap people that way and they look very uncomfortable. So instead you want to come in with the thing you think would be most intriguing for the people you're talking to. You may not even follow up with those second and third things in that moment, but you can in a follow-up email, you can say, oh, you know what else? I didn't mention this, but here's another way we might want to cross paths.

00:19:01
Here's something else I do that you might be interested in and that's cool. That just invited them into another way of having a conversation and relationship with you. And I think too often we don't prep that stuff ahead of time. So we're like holding people's hands while we're kind of sputtering our way through an intro. And we all know we are supposed to have our polished 15, 2nd, 32nd intro and all that.

00:19:23
And there's definitely a reason to have that rehearsed. But I also think knowing who the audience is will help you better frame all of that. Absolutely. That's the number one rule of any public speaking. Know your audience.

00:19:37
Right. Know your target audience so you know how to present the message in a way that they're going to want to receive it and be able to remember it. You want them to remember you at the end of the day. Otherwise, what's the whole point, right? Why are we even getting out there?

00:19:51
So you had mentioned the chitchat. Take me through that. There are many of us, when we go to a networking event, we enter the room, okay, now I'm looking for the croissants, getting me in, or I'm going to go stand in line to get the buffet. There's somebody standing next to me. How do I chitchat?

00:20:14
There are so many. We talk every day. This is not a new skill that we're developing. We have conversations. Our brain shuts down as soon as we enter the networking event.

00:20:26
And then when we're staying in line, we have no idea what in the hell am I going to say to this person. What are some tips that you have for someone who is just so incredibly uncomfortable in these types of situations? If you are a speaker or an event planner, you really should check out the Innovation Women website. Innovation Women has placed hundreds of women on stages across the world. Whether you are a beginner looking to book your first speaking gig or a seasoned professional looking to expand your connections, I highly recommend that you give Innovation Women a try.

00:21:03
Well, the first thing you remember is that your best friends started out as strangers. So you actually have done this before, right? You have done this. You have met people, usually in some sort of common circumstance. You've developed a connection, and they are your friends.

00:21:19
And now we're thinking, okay, how do we sort of make a spark happen in this room? So my favorite, I've thought of many of these moments where I used to put myself purposely in spaces. I used to live in Boston for 20 years, and I hosted tons of events, but I would purposely put myself at events where I didn't know people. I was really interested in the innovation entrepreneur sector. Not like the speakers, coaches, and entrepreneurs, but like the startup world.

00:21:50
But I didn't really know people in that space. But they would do socials all the time. So I'd show up to those kinds of spaces, and I would circle the room looking for those openings. If you don't see the opening right away, I would like, to head up to the bar. And I remember this one time, there were three special drinks for that night.

00:22:06
Someone ordered a drink next to me, and I said, how did you decide? They all look good. Yeah. Okay. There's the opening.

00:22:15
By the way, that person, she walked me back to her friend. Her friend was talking to somebody. The guy she was talking to is the kind of person half the room knew. And we ended up being near the front door, and everyone who walked in stopped to talk to him, but he was busy in a conversation. So I was introducing people to each other who came over to talk to this guy.

00:22:37
Wow, talk about being in the right space. Right. Another moment. I'm in this in-person event again, I don't know anyone, and someone by with a tray of Lordeuvs, and I'm squinting at the tray, trying to figure out what it is and whether I want any. And as the tray goes by, I realize there's a woman on the other side who's looking kind of in the same direction, doing kind of the same thing.

00:23:04
She's a black woman in a room that is mostly white people. So I know that she's a demographic outlier and that she's probably feeling as uncomfortable as I am. She doesn't know that it's my first time. But I just sort of said, what do you think that was?

00:23:21
And we had a great conversation. Ultimately, we ended up sitting down with a bunch of people having a great time, right? So I would often look for people. I think that you should remember whether or not you are a first-timer or you are more of a host. So when I'm a first-timer, I try to avoid the edges of the room.

00:23:41
I know it's very easy to get into conversation with other wallflowers. The problem is, there's no easy way to end the conversation because they don't know anyone to introduce you. If it's your first time, stay in the middle of the room, go to the bar, and hang out in those groups. Keep open body language so other people can join your conversation. It's easy to leave a group when it's a larger group.

00:24:05
When it's just two people, you can kind of negotiate. So keep that in mind if you know some people. I say a host if you've gone three times in a short enough amount of time that you remember going three times, consider yourself a co-host. If that's the case. You've met a few people.

00:24:23
I think going over to the wallflowers and chitchatting with them is a wonderful thing to do. But at the end of that conversation, you can say, hey, I know some people here. Is there anyone, in particular, you're hoping to meet? And that is a great way to both wraps that conversation and walk them literally over to another conversation. If you don't know anyone and you're finding yourself at the end of a conversation your first time, you can say that in reverse.

00:24:47
Hey, I don't really know that many people here. Is there anyone you think I should meet? And it's like, based on the conversation you just had, they might be like, oh, yes, there's one person. And I did this once at a big networking event that was multisector education, higher ed, corporate, nonprofit. Everything was in the room.

00:25:07
So it was hard to figure out your purpose was this random gathering of Boston people. So I walked in saying, I work in nonprofit, and so I got introduced to some nonprofit people, and then I said, I do advocacy in the world of nonprofit. And then they kind of went, oh, you know who you need to talk to. And then I said, I do this kind of advocacy. And then I got introduced to someone else, and then I said something else, and this guy said, you know who you need to meet, Gene.

00:25:34
She's not here right now. Let me tweet her. Let's tell you how many years ago this was. And he tweeted at her and made an introduction. We went back and forth on Twitter.

00:25:44
Two months go by. I walk into a different networking event. She's at the table giving out name tags, sees me, grabs my name tag, comes around, and gives me a hug. Oh, wow. Yeah, we hadn't met yet in person.

00:25:54
Right. This reminds me a lot about the virtual stuff, and what's happening now. I mean, there are people I've been meeting with weekly for three years, and we have yet to meet in person. Never seen it in person. Yeah, those are just some ideas, like going with intention and staying in the middle of the room.

00:26:09
It's your first time having open body language. Also, if you go a little early, as it's just getting started, you can actually talk to the host, the organizer, and really just say, hey, it's my first time. This is the kind of thing I'm into. If there's anyone you think I should meet, I'd love to flag me down. I'd love an introduction, and they may be willing to just make that happen.

00:26:32
I mean, for them, they want you to have a good time. So again, if you come into that kind of clarity, you catch someone while they have the time, they may end up shepherding you to the right people to have that moment happen. Yeah. And that's some great advice and I heard in there also, don't be afraid to be a little light at the moment. Have some levity.

00:26:53
Be able to smile and laugh in some uncomfortable situations. Like the whole What is that? What is that? Well, don't complain. Absolutely, what you just said, Jen, the worst thing you might do is be let's say you're on a buffet line and you're vegan and you're like, so miffed, which is totally legit, that there was not vegan.

00:27:12
There are no vegan options. But if you say that in a certain way, you might be saying it to someone who actually has influence over the menu for next time, and they're not going to hear you. They're not going to take in that information if you say it in a really negative way. So we have to be careful. I mean, we want to keep things light, and I've definitely gone and used it.

00:27:38
Is that good? Like, someone will eat some dip, and I'm like, oh, is that good? I still remember this buffalo chicken dip that someone sold me on because I'm not a big at the time. I actually like it better now, but I wasn't into a. A lot of spice.

00:27:52
And I was like, it looked really good though. And they were like, they sold me on it.

00:27:59
We meet people anywhere. It could be the registry of motor vehicles, right? Networking happens wherever you are. You are constantly doing it. You just don't call it that.

00:28:11
And I also I'm going to say something kind of controversial. It is a quote, it is not mine. Women are not good at networking. I was told this by a woman who was hiring me to speak at her women's professional network. And she said it's because this is her way of backing up that statement.

00:28:30
Men are constantly handing out their business cards and talking about business. And I was like, oh, so basically they're good at transactional networking. And then I was like, but women know how to help. Women know how to come together and support each other. Like, women are competitive and of course, these are generalizations.

00:28:50
Some men are really good at all those things and some women are lousy. I have some bad examples of women networking too, but I just think that if we reframe networking into helping, wow, it's a lot easier to think that way. It's like, how can I be helpful? It's not about what's in it for me. It's like, how can I help you?

00:29:12
You're so right, because I do think that women do tend to be very hesitant. It's almost like that you think of it as a sales pitch. I'm not comfortable talking about myself tooting my own horn. And that's really not a really good, positive way to think about networking. We're developing relationships and seeing, if is there some way that I can be of service.

00:29:37
Like you said, is there some way that I can help? That's a great way to go into it with that type of attitude, with the transition to online networking. And you said it a moment ago. I mean, there have been instances, you and I both belong to innovation women, where we go online and we see all of these amazing people and have all of these amazing conversations, but I haven't met anyone in person yet from that group. What are some of the sticky points that you have noticed as we've transitioned to the online type of networking?

00:30:18
Are there some things from the in-person networking that you feel they have translated well to the online environment versus things that you've noticed in in-person networking that absolutely are not translating very well in the online environment? I think that we should think of these as two different types of sports games. I'm not a sports ball person, so I'm going to try to do this. So hockey and soccer have some similarities, but they're completely different games.

00:30:53
But no, we can't take hockey rules and put them on top of a soccer field or vice versa and expect it to work. You have to understand the rules of the game. You're playing and then play them as well as you can. And so the benefit of virtual is how easy it is for us to stay in touch in person. I would meet someone at a conference.

00:31:17
As I go to the National Speakers Association influence conference every year. I'll meet someone awesome. A year will go by. I won't have talked to them. I'll walk in, I may stumble across them again, be like, oh, right, Debbie.

00:31:31
Oh, yeah, right. Maybe year three will finally cross paths and decide to stay in touch. It takes a long time. Now it's like year one, I meet somebody, I immediately say, you know, we should do we should schedule a catch up in six weeks, see how we're doing after the conference. Or, hey, by the way, I host this virtual gathering.

00:31:53
Or you host a virtual gathering. We should both go to this virtual thing. And we start to cross paths virtually on a regular basis. I've been hosting a weekly event since March 13, 2020. It was a free event for two years, the Nomad Zoom Virtual Happy Hour which is now available on the first Friday of the month.

00:32:10
No morebadzoom.com. It's an awesome networking event, particularly for entrepreneurs. And then on the other Fridays, I host what I call the Content and Connection Club. It's a mastermind of $25 a month. That is not a mistake.

00:32:24
Half the money goes to charity. And I love it. And part of what I love about it is the consistency of meeting these people, they have deep relationships, right? It doesn't matter where they live in the world. We are meeting regularly, and I think the blend of the two is really great.

00:32:40
I'm about to head back to the National Speaker Association conference in July. I'm already picking up connections with people that I haven't talked to, maybe in a while. I'm thinking of the people that I've met there over the years. I'm going to try to reconnect with them before the event in some way. It could be a virtual life like this, or it might just be interacting with them on social.

00:33:02
So I'm going to probably host something or many some things at this conference. I'm going to be reaching out to invite them to things. So it will be a much easier way to pick up the thread. And I think it's exposure. It's ongoing conversations that really develop a friendship, not just a one-time invite, and then a year later, another connection, and a year later another connection.

00:33:25
So I think not all virtual programs or virtual networking events are equal, but not all in-person events or networking events are equal. So we could talk about how you choose the right ones? I happen to really love innovation. Women's weekly speaker friends every Friday morning. And there are a few events that I highly recommend, particularly for entrepreneurs and speakers.

00:33:48
But yeah, it's about showing up and being thoughtful about where you spend your time. When we attend these virtual events, a lot of times they'll break us up into these breakup rooms, right? And then not break up rooms, breakout rooms. And you'll have a smaller group of people. I attended a networking event just a few weeks ago where they did this, and we got into these breakout sessions, and there were about four or five people, and it was timed because, of course, naturally, there are only so many minutes that you can do this, and everybody was to introduce themselves.

00:34:28
Is there anything that someone can do in that situation to really stand out in the group? I did notice hopping through several of these breakout sessions, that there still tended to be people who were quiet, even if they had, okay, you've got a minute to introduce yourself. Then after that minute was up, you could see them close back up. What advice do you have for someone who is in a networking event like that and get into the breakout room? How can they make the most use of that time?

00:35:07
All right, so I have a few thoughts. One is, before we even get to the breakout room, one of my favorite things to do to network online is to be active in chat. Whether you're in a Zoom meeting or you're in even a webinar where you can't see the other participants, if you're active in chat, it helps you stand out. This is something you cannot do in person, which is my example of different rules. Now, what might you put in there?

00:35:33
Sure, you could pitch yourself nonstop. No, that's not a good plan. Right? That's like throwing business cards at people. It's just walking around a room, like spraying and praying and hoping things stick.

00:35:43
Instead, if a speaker mentions a resource, a website, a podcast, or a book, you go and you find that resource online and you put the information in chat. You mention a book, I go to Amazon, and I grab the title of the book. I get off of the name, I get the link, and I put it in, right? I do it right away. I do it fast.

00:36:02
People start to notice. Now, if I happen to have a resource of my own to share, sure, I'll share it. But now, that's just one of many resources I'm putting in chat. It's not just me loading up chat with resources of my own. I'm not like, buy this, buy this, buy this.

00:36:16
That's something that anyone can do. Another way to do this is to share your takeaways in chat on speaker. Friends, the innovative women. There is one woman who is really consistent about capturing the takeaway from what people are saying on the mic, and she puts it in chat as people are speaking. That's a great way she stands out.

00:36:36
That's just what she does. So those are two things you can always do, whether you're in a big group, whether you're in a webinar with thousands of people, or you're in a small group of four or five, you can be resource rich by just helping keep track of things that are being said or sharing the resources. I think people hosting events, virtual events, can do a better job. I literally just wrote an entire book about how we could do a better job with Zoom and I wrote 10,000 words on breakout rooms out of 64,000 words in the whole book. So it is the first section that I started writing.

00:37:07
And Breakoutboardom.com has a ton of resources where you can get free content to help you think about how to do this. But I think if they give you a specific question as you head into the room, not just introduce yourself, but a specific question, like, if you had free time, how would you spend it? Right? Or if you had free time, what would you want to learn? That kind of question.

00:37:32
Share a personal and a professional win. These are all very simple icebreaker questions. And if you put four or five people in a room for ten minutes and you sell everyone, you're going to have two minutes apiece. And there's a countdown clock telling you how much time is left. And alphabetically go by first name in alpha order and you just give them all those instructions and then you say, by the way, let me answer this for myself before we open the rooms, my wins are or if I had free time, I would want to learn.

00:38:01
Now their brains are engaged. They heard your answer, which makes them start thinking about their own answer. They know whether or not they're more likely to go first or toward the end of this list. They're just ready to go. Too often we get sent to a breakout room, and we're all like, what are.

00:38:15
We supposed to do? The question I'm staring around, everyone's muted, no one wants to unmute. So before you open the breakout room put the prompt or the question in the main room chat. So it comes over to the breakout rooms. They can open up a chat to review.

00:38:31
There are all these little nuanced things. One is having a specific question is really helpful, having an order, but nothing cutesy. No, like longest, shortest hair, brightest color shirt, birthday order. I've talked about horoscopes a lot in the last three years because seriously? Seriously.

00:38:54
And it has nothing to do with the question. It takes time. So first or last name, alphabetical or reverse alphabetical totally works. If their last name is not showing, they go first. Makes a lot of people update their names.

00:39:07
So it's just little things like that, I think coming and being ready to be present, this is a hard lesson for me to learn a long time ago. Jen that engagement looks different for everybody, that everyone does not need to be speaking in order to be engaged. That was a tough lesson for me to learn because I'm an outgoing extrovert. That's how I measure engagement. That's not true for other people.

00:39:32
So, for instance, one of the debriefs I like to do when coming back from a breakout room is to say, hey, some of you naturally take lots of notes. If you're a person who often just has pages of notes from this conversation you just had for ten minutes, will you please use the raise hand feature and share with us your top two takeaways? Yeah. Likely they were not actively having communication on the mic, but their engagement was still there, and I want to honor that and we'll get some great insights from those folks who are paying attention in that particular way. So it's just I think there are a lot of ways we can design virtual.

00:40:10
The benefit of virtual against in-person for this moment is that you didn't have to find this group of four or five in person. You've got to go up to people and see whether they're going to let you in. That's right. You've got all that barrier you got to get past, but in the virtual world, magically, you just get put into a room, even when it's poorly designed, at least you haven't had to go find these four or five people and you make the most of it at that moment. Yeah.

00:40:41
And making use of the chat, I think that is such valuable advice for people who may be uncomfortable. As you said, engagement comes in all forms. So if you're the type of person maybe in the larger room, I don't have a whole lot to say, but if I'm capturing some of the talking points or like you do, just looking up some things and being of service, just adding that stuff in the chat room, what a fantastic way to get through that. That's wonderful. And I'm glad you said that.

00:41:08
There are different ways to engage. I think that takes a lot of pressure. I think people end up putting too much pressure on themselves sometimes that I'm going to go to this networking event, whether it's online or in person, and I have to meet as many people as possible and no, I mean, even if you go in, there's one person I want to meet. If there's just one person that I want to meet, you've been successful. I think my goal is that I tell because I work with lots of introverts and or just shyer people, and they're different scales, right?

00:41:38
My wife's a shy extrovert. I dated someone who was an outgoing introvert, so it's different scales. But I think that if you're going to leave your house, make sure the time is well spent. If you're going to go to an in-person event in particular, and if you're really clear on what your goals are, your goal was to meet three people, or maybe three kinds of people, or three people wearing the yellow shirt. Right.

00:42:06
Here's the thing. You get to leave. That's right. You don't have to stay. Like, I stay to the end and stack chairs.

00:42:13
I've stacked. You don't have to stay. You could literally spend an hour of like a three-hour event, meet the people you came to meet, and head home. That's right. It's about being really cute with your metrics.

00:42:28
Now, I want to say that not all in person are equal. We talked about that. But virtually there's a lot of variation. So I've mentioned Innovation women a few times. I hope you put a link into them.

00:42:39
Oh, absolutely.

00:42:42
My event no morebadzoom.com. I think is a great option. Another one I go to is called Generous entrepreneursandmedia.com. Gem for short. Generous Entrepreneurs and media.

00:42:55
It's basically podcast hosts and would-be guests, which is pretty cool. That's another one I really like. I'm trying to think there are a few that I really have made an effort to continue to go to. And one of the things that have happened is that they've been willing to take feedback from me about how they run their vents. Yeah.

00:43:13
For me, it's like getting in the back of a cab. I know exactly where I want to go, I just don't have a car and I know which direction. And then the cabby goes a different way and I'm like, what are you doing? I want to make sure that the people I'm entrusting my driver are doing a good job. And I will go back and I will talk up all the events that are out there that are really good.

00:43:33
But you've got to figure out who your groups are and what you're going for and who you want to meet. Because I've gone to some networking events that have just had a lot of people that weren't quite the right people. Whether it's in person or virtual, it's like, is this helping me? And I think sometimes you got to go three times to figure it out. Truthfully, you need a little time, but if it's not, it's okay.

00:43:56
And that's my other tip, I'll just say is where I know we kind of have to wrap, but if you go three times in a short enough amount of time that people will remember you, it's the same energy as going three times over an entire year. Yeah. If you then skip the fourth time, people are going to remember you. When you come back on the fifth time, they're probably going to be mentioning you in your absence on the 6th time. But if you go back three times over twelve months, every time you show up, you're a new person.

00:44:24
That's right. Same energy, but you get more momentum if you can just put a little more energy in. And whether that's in person or virtual, I think networking in that more intensive way really helps. Yeah. Such incredibly valuable advice for so many out there who just need to hear it.

00:44:45
Absolutely. Robbie, thank you so much. Is there anything, one last thing you would like to say to the audience before we wrap things up? I'll offer two more pieces of resources. One is croissantsvsbagels.com where you can go and get all the free bonus content for Croissants versus Bagels strategic, effective, and inclusive networking at conferences.

00:45:07
My TEDx Talk, which is titled Heat networking stop Bageling and Be the Croissant is available at robbysamuels.com. TEDx. I also love when people connect with me on LinkedIn. I hope folks will reach out there or just go to Robysamus.com where you'll find all the links and resources I've mentioned and many I did not. And I wish everyone luck as we kind of navigate going back in person.

00:45:29
Don't lose touch with the fact that you still have these virtual gatherings in a way we never had before. Even just hopping on a Zoom call with someone, which is such a natural thing now, four years ago really wasn't. So I wish everyone luck as they sort of venture out into the world. Robbie, thanks again one more time for being on the show. It was an honor.

00:45:46
I learned a lot, so I know that the listeners absolutely are taking away some gems today. So thanks again, everybody. Have a great rest of your day and remember to keep in touch. Communication 24/7. See you next time.

00:46:11
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