Decoding Mental Health: The Role of Communication and Self-Talk

Have you ever thought about the intricate web connecting your mental health and the way you communicate? I, Jennifer Arvin Furlong, share a small part of my journey through this challenging landscape. This episode is about highlighting the importance of communication in improving mental health. I am opening up about my struggles, revealing the tools that have helped me during these difficult times, and hoping to provide you with a holistic understanding of how improved communication can significantly enhance mental well-being.

Buzzsprout - Let's get your podcast launched!
Start for FREE

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Chapters

• 0:00 Improving Mental Health Through Communication
• 4:37 Improving Mental Health Through Positive Self-Talk

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Does anybody ever ask you how you're doing and you're like, yeah, i'm OK, and do you feel like that's kind of like how you're going through your life? you're going through the motions and you're feeling just OK? Well, i want you to know that there's more to it than just being OK, and I want to talk about the connection between your mental health and your communication skills. This is an important topic, especially if you are serious about becoming a better communicator. Welcome to the Communication 24-7 Podcast, where we communicate about how we communicate. I'm your host, jennifer Furlong.

Speaker 1: 1:00

Now, i'm not qualified to talk about severe mental health issues that are connected to mental illness, like dementia or schizophrenia, for example. I am not a mental health professional, i'm not a psychiatrist, i'm not a psychologist. I'm not even going to pretend to have the skills needed to discuss how to address those types of mental illnesses, but as a communications professional, i am qualified to speak about the connections between mental health and communication, and there are connections. The first thing I want to say to you, though, is, if you are having more than just a bad day and you think it's possible you're depressed or you're suffering from anxiety, you're having a mental breakdown. Seriously. I have been there. Please reach out and get help from a professional, and when I say that I've been there, i truly have been there And, as a matter of fact, i have been there just within the past couple of weeks. I had a much needed conversation with my therapist recently And you wouldn't really know it. To look at me if I chat with you on the phone or if I talk with you over Zoom or if I see you in person, i am very good at compartmentalizing and showing only what I want you to see, and I'm very good at focusing the conversation on a specific topic, or I'm focusing the conversation on you by asking you questions about the things that you want to talk about. Just like some of you who are going through something difficult, there have been plenty of days that I have felt disappointed, overwhelmed, frustrated and, at times, even hopeless, and it's during those times that I go into my toolbag of communication skills and find something that I know will help, And that's what I want to share with you today in the hopes of helping you. I want this information to help bring about some self-awareness that, if applied daily, it can help improve your mental health, just like it has helped improve mine. It is all interconnected. Your communication will help improve your mental health And, in turn, your mental health will continue to improve your communication. The thing is, though, it does take work, but you know that already, especially if you've been listening to me for a while.

Speaker 1: 3:38

Gallup released a well-being report about six months ago, and it was titled Americans reported mental health at New Low. More Seek Help, and in that report, they noted that by November 2020, eight months after the pandemic began in the US, americans' excellent assessments of their own mental health dropped nine points to 34%, which was a new low since they started tracking the measure in 2001. Unfortunately, even though the pandemic has ended, you might feel as though your struggles have not, and those struggles continue to affect our well-being. Gallup's follow-up poll showed there was no improvement in Americans' assessment of their own mental health. If you are feeling the struggle, you are not alone. So where do we begin?

Speaker 1: 4:37

Let's focus on sorting your thoughts out loud, which, according to clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manley, this actually helps us become more aware of what is taking place in our mind, in an article published by Hella Health. Yes, you heard that correctly, and if you haven't checked it out, hella Health, please do so because I think it's great, but anyway, manley said that speaking out loud causes us to slow down and access the brain's language centers, and in doing so we become more conscious of our ramblings, which in turn helps us to become more intentional. Intentionality is exactly what we want in communication, especially when we're feeling overwhelmed. So how does this work? Do I mean that you should talk out loud to yourself? Yes, that's exactly what I mean. I've talked about this before. The research shows that self-talk helps make sense of overwhelming conditions And when practiced sufficiently, it can improve your mental condition and sense of confidence. But if it's practiced inefficiency, it can be detrimental to your mental health. Remember I said it is all connected. So pay attention to your thoughts and speak them out loud to yourself. This way you can get clarity. And if you notice that your thoughts, that you're saying out loud, that they are repeatedly negative, that is a red flag. Pay attention to that, because repetitive negative thoughts are associated with a variety of depressive symptoms.

Speaker 1: 6:20

In an article on positivepsychologycom, elaine Mead identified four categories that negative self-talk tends to fall into. So this is what you need to pay attention to. The first category is called personalizing, and that means you blame yourself when things go wrong, even if it's not your fault, you for some reason still want to take on the blame. The second category is called polarizing, and that means you see things only as good or as bad. There's no gray area or room for middle ground with polarizing. The third category is called magnifying, and that means you only focus on the bad or the negative in every scenario it's doomsday, and you dismiss anything good or positive. And then the fourth category is called catastrophizing, and that means you just always expect the worst. So personalizing, polarizing, magnifying and catastrophizing Do any of these sound like you?

Speaker 1: 7:31

If so, the good news is you can learn to lessen the negative self-talk and amplify more positive messages. By actively practicing this, you are also learning how to internally validate yourself. You can begin to build confidence in yourself. You can build your self-esteem and believe that you can and will survive the obstacles that come your way. This really is nothing new The process of using self-talk or talking out loud to make sense of your situation and to boost your confidence in your ability to overcome the challenges that lie before you and to trust that things will work out. These things have been used in sports forever, if any of you have ever played sports, you know what all of that positive self-talk is all about.

Speaker 1: 8:26

The applications span way beyond sports. The research in this field makes me confident that there are things that we can do even if we're not playing sports that will help improve our own mental health, and it does make me hopeful that, if given some practical tools, you can rewire your brain so that you can look at the world with more clarity and optimism. Here are some practical steps you can take, beginning today, so that you can begin the process of rewiring your brain. I want you to practice them every day and I want you to be able to see the positive effects that they will have on the quality of your life. Quality thoughts, equal quality life.

Speaker 1: 9:20

Streamyard provides easy live streaming and recording, allowing you to stream to multiple online platforms all at one time. Whether you're a creator, a content marketer, business or just someone with something to say, streamyard is the way to spread your message and engage with your audience. You can host virtual events, grow your business, inspire your followers and create a movement. Try StreamYard today for free by clicking on the link in the show notes. So here we go.

Speaker 1: 9:52

Step one study depression and stress and negative self-talk and anxiety all of those things that we feel. Study it like you are a student. Study it from a place of curiosity. I want you to learn about it and learn how to identify the emotional and the intellectual and the behavioral signs of those things. In episode 63, i interviewed Alan Cox, the developer of the Ever Yellow app, and he shared in that interview that when he decided to study depression, to really learn about it, to pick it apart, that act of studying it brought clarity to what it really was and it helped him begin to look at it in a completely different way. It's what unlocked everything for him.

Speaker 1: 10:42

Step two I want you to identify your beliefs and then study their relationship to your self-talk. Identify the situations that might be a negative self-talk trap. For example, are you more likely to engage in negative self-talk after doom-scrolling Twitter? And how do your beliefs impact your self-talk? If you're feeling like a failure, well, what makes you believe that? By what metric are you measuring yourself and then making that decision that you're a failure? According to what Is that causing you to talk about yourself in a negative way?

Speaker 1: 11:26

Then step three when you're in the middle of a difficult situation, take note of your emotions. What is the relationship between your emotions and your thoughts and the things you say to yourself? What are the words you are choosing to use during this difficult moment to describe yourself and your situation while in this emotional state? Do your emotions align with the situation? For example, is this a sad situation that anyone would agree warrants a degree of sadness? Are you rightfully sad because of it? Does this stressful situation warrant a degree of stress? Align your thoughts and emotions with the circumstances and see the problem for what it is. Whatever the feeling, whether it is sadness or grief or frustration or anger acknowledge whether these emotions are warranted in your situation, because a lot of times they are warranted. So take a note that, just like the situation you find yourself in, the emotions that come along with that situation, they are also temporary.

Speaker 1: 12:46

Step four observe the negative self-talk in which you are currently engaging. Are you falling into the trap of personalizing or polarizing or magnifying or catastrophizing? Remember those pits that you can fall into. Consider the irrational negative beliefs that are being triggered by this challenging moment and how they are likely amplified by your emotional state. So, if you can make the connection between your emotional state and your belief in the current circumstances to the negative self-talk that is going to bring some realizations to light.

Speaker 1: 13:30

And then, finally, step five practice engaging in positive self-talk. This is where you are going to actively transfer from the negative self-talk to the positive self-talk, and I want you to do this out loud. Remember you want to access the language portions of the brain right. Note your opportunities, note your viable options, note your solutions. And while you are doing all that, recognize that you are confronting the problem In this moment in time. You are actively confronting the problem just by engaging in positive self-talk out loud, again, out loud. Talk yourself through the problem and accept that it's perfectly reasonable to be stressed during stressful situations. Recognize that situations are temporary and recognize that emotions are temporary. Practice engaging in positive self-talk out loud will help you navigate through those stressful waters while you can begin focusing on your next steps. That is what will bring hope.

Speaker 1: 14:48

Now, practicing these five steps does not mean that you won't have bad days or that you'll never practice negative self-talk again. I just confessed to you at the beginning of this episode that I recently had a very, very difficult time And I ended up having to have a very good conversation with my therapist. It really did help me to hit that reset button And I realized that I was practicing in the negative self-talk And she helped me reposition that. She helped me to access the positive self-talk again And it does make a difference. So, yeah, you're going to have bad days, yeah, you're going to be stressed, and it can be really easy to fall into a negative mindset when we are stressed. But if you can train your mind to recognize it, you will begin to see how negative emotions bias our perspective toward the negative. So we have to actively work ourselves out of that spiral. Positive talk does not guarantee a positive outcome, but it does, however, put you in a better position to tackle the challenges that will inevitably come along.

Speaker 1: 16:10

Now, as I wrap up this episode, i want to leave you with some positive self-talk And I want you to repeat them out loud. Yes, i'm going to leave you some space to repeat them out loud after me. Here we go. If I make a mistake, it's okay. I'll learn from it for the next time. I accept what I can't change. I'm letting go of things that no longer benefit me or help me grow. I am capable of solving problems. All right, that's it for this episode. You all have a great rest of your day. Thanks for listening. If you enjoyed this episode and you'd like to help support the podcast, please share it with others, and don't forget to post about it on social media or leave a rating and a review.