EP 18 - Get Better Sleep with Guest Caryl Ayearst

I’ve been hearing from you that you aren’t sleeping well. So I thought I’d bring on some guests to talk about sleep and hopefully shed some light on why you aren’t sleeping and what you can do about it.

This episode I am joined by Caryl Ayearst. Learning to solve her own insomnia problems actually led Caryl to become a Registered Holistic Nutritionist, Certified Sleep Science Coach, Functional Hormone Educator, NLP Master Coach, Hypnotherapist and Reiki Master.  Curiosity and love of learning propels her to inspire others to have a life with health, energy and a great night's sleep.

Women face so many changes in their bodies that show up for example as insomnia, uncontrollable cravings, weight issues, brain fog, fatigue and more!  There is no blueprint to figuring out what to do or what to try or simply getting the answers they need. Caryl helps to peel back what is going on to allow a clear path back to sleep and health. 

Caryl's FaceBook Community

Website

5 Techniques That Naturally Trigger Relaxation Signals for Better Sleep

Transcript

Sabrina  0:01  
Hey friend, welcome back to the show. I've been hearing from you that you aren't sleeping well. So I thought I'd bring on some guests to talk about sleep, and hopefully shed some light on why you weren't sleeping well, and what you can do about it. This episode I'm joined by Carol airshed. Learning to solve her own insomnia problems actually led Carol to become a registered holistic nutritionist, certified sleep science coach, functional hormone educator, NLP master coach hypnotherapist and Reiki Master, curiosity and love of learning propels her to inspire others to have a life with health, energy, and a great night's sleep. So let's dive into the show. So that you can learn how your hormones and other things might be impacting your sleep. Welcome, Carol. I am so excited for our conversation today. Because I know a lot of my listeners, and a lot of my clients have been talking about just how difficult sleep is for them. And I realize how I'm gonna do the funny thing here and say it's a global pandemic, because I do I do think it is. So I'm really excited to have you on to talk about sleep today. Do you want to say hello to everybody? Before we dive in?

Caryl  1:15  
Sure. Hello, everybody. I'm so glad you're here. And I'm going to talk about all kinds of things about sleep that you might not even thought about before. Because you're absolutely right. It is crazy out there. There isn't a person that doesn't know somebody or themselves that has a sleep problem. So it is very, very common.

Sabrina  1:34  
Yeah, yeah. So before we dive into the the fun sleep stuff, I always like to start the show with tell us a little bit about your experience with emotional eating or your body image.

Caryl  1:48  
There's lots of stories to talk about that, you know, because I used to be quite obese. And I had a real serious period of time where I neglected myself. And I was working in the office and I would get these intense cravings in the afternoon. Right? So and I always like to think I could control it, you know, maybe have a cup of coffee. But then I started to have sleep issues. So then I thought I better not have coffee. And I had a colleague who was in the floor below me and and she was she got treated like I was living overseas, and she would get these great packages from her family while these really great treats from Canada and so I'd be walking by your desk and you say Hey, would you like some some candy? It's Oh, sure, you know, no problem. So here I am at my office and I'm thinking oh my gosh, I gotta have something so I need some energy. I need that boost of energy. I need chocolate. You know, it's what always comes to mind. And I went Oh, I know how go down by my friend's desk and and you know, just happily casually walk by and say how you doing and see what see if I can get some some treats. Well, I went down there and she wasn't there. And I went I went into her office, it was an office, I didn't shut the door. And you look around and then I start opening her drawers looking for her secret stash. And so I don't know, I'm like a drug addict or something. And I'm in there and I'm found the stash and I got some of the loot. And I went back up to my office to eat it. And then after I had such tremendous guilt because I thought what the heck was I thinking going into somebody's desk door that private that's like going into some of these purse. And so I actually reached out to her and apologized and she was so nice about it. But that really taught me a very interesting lesson of why did you have to have that like what were you thinking? So yeah, I had all kinds of crazy moments like that, but that one I feel is perhaps I pushed it a little too far at that point. Yeah,

Sabrina  4:02  
yeah. And I can just see you like sneaking through the drawers of like, Where is it? Where is it? And then like find it Oh, jackpot and then scurrying back up to your office.

Caryl  4:15  
Did anybody see me? Yeah, like at that time, at that time, I had no idea what was going on my body. Now when I look back at that it all makes sense as to what was happening to me and why I was so driven for it.

Sabrina  4:31  
Yeah, well I think that's a really good point of a lot of times we don't understand where these cravings or urges or behaviors are coming from. We just realize I don't I don't like this. Yeah. And you and I both know that everything in the body is connected. So when we have one system off the whole system goes berserk. What's your kind of take on that How sleep impacts our eating?

Caryl  5:04  
Yeah, so first of all, yes, I call sleep a symptom, right. So this is why it's always a little bit more challenging for people, because they say, you know, I go looking for sleep solutions. But it was really not the problem, right? So it's the symptom of what else is going on the body is actually causing the problem. But what happens when you don't sleep? Now there's a couple of things when it comes to eating is the first one, it throws off two hormones called the leptin and ghrelin hormones. And Gremlin is the hormone that just, you know, tells you that you're hungry. So I like to think of it as like her. And when it's growing, you know, hey, I'm hungry, you need some food deep. And leptin is the hormone that when you're eating, the brain says, okay, we've had enough time to shut off, and then you recognize you're full. And so when we don't sleep, these hormones get thrown off. So it becomes very difficult to know whether you're hungry or not, or difficult to know, whether you've had enough to eat, I used to tell myself, Oh, my gosh, I feel like I'm a great shark, because all I can do is keep eating and keep eating, I never feel fuller hungry, I had no idea. That would be it's termed a leptin resistance. And so it's very much connected to a lack of sleep. And, and also not, never being hungry. But always eating, always wanting something to eat. Because when you don't sleep, you don't have energy. So when you get up in the morning, and you think, so awful, I need something, oh, coffee, let's have coffee, because that gives us that little bit of boost. And what comes next is, you feel like you need a bigger pick me up. So let's go for doughnuts, croissants, or you know something that's got a little bit of sweetness in it, to give you that burst of energy, because your body is just screaming for some energy. So that's kind of what's happening in the body.

Sabrina  7:06  
And I really appreciate how you pointed out the different hormones and how sleep impacts them and how that then really can trigger some of these out of control feelings. And it's, it's nothing that that is wrong with us as a person. It's something that's biologically going on that I was want to point that out, because I think we spend so much time beating ourselves up about this of like, Well, why can't I just stop this?

Caryl  7:32  
Well, I got an interesting point about this one, because, yes, you're absolutely right, you know, it's something biological. But you can also use your mind to a bit of an advantage for that. Now, I suspected I was left and resistant. And of course, this is where I'm getting my body back into repair. So I'm now experimenting, and I want to know more. So I went to my doctor and I said, Could I have my leptin hormone tested? And she looked at me as if I grow horns or something. And she said, No. And so I pushed it. And so she had to put on the requisition something about it's just for information purposes, it's not for medical, and I had to pay for it. It wasn't expensive. It was $60 I thought for $60 I get to know what's going on with my leptin hormones. And sure enough, they were three times out of whack. So nothing you do about it. I knew that but now I have proof that my it's my hormones. And what I did after that because leptin is, like I said, tells you when you're full. So when I was eating, I would say okay, this is the right amount of food. You don't need any more than that. You know, you slow down you're eating you don't eat as quickly you chew the food, it takes time. But then when I would be finished I'd say okay, I think I'd like something else. I say oh no, no, no, no, no your fault. And I would actually have a conversation with my brain and saying, it's just the leptin. It's not it's not working properly. You're okay, you have enough. And so I'm actually taught to my brain and it really helped me

Sabrina  9:01  
There is that connection of the brain and the body and when we pull everything back online, that's when we get to see the real magic happening. Mm hmm. Yeah, so you mentioned sleep being a symptom, right? What? What do you mean by that? And what what is sleep? If it's a symptom?

Caryl  11:04  
Oh, okay, so there's lots of ways to answer this. Let's just start with a symptom, right? So let's say for example, look, think of it like a headache. You know, you have a headache. So, well, why do you have the headache, so most of us will reach for an aspirin, but then the headache comes back the next day, and that comes back. So you're not dealing with what's happening in the body. So sleep, not being able to sleep is a symptom of something out of balance in the body. And so we're going to be looking at, there's, you know, all the reasons why you're not sleeping, as to understand why you're not sleeping. So, for example, let's say just stress, because I think that's the biggest one for most people, stress can prevent you from sleeping. So if you go for all these, you know, medicines, or Herbes, or all these supplements to try and help you to sleep, and you still have stress, you're still not gonna be able to sleep. So this is why a lot of people that I see say, I've tried everything, nothing works. And this is what's going because you haven't addressed what's really going on. So it's just showing up in your body. But I know for myself and for my clients that when you can't sleep, it's not the only symptom, but it's the only symptom that's getting your attention. And that's what happened to me, my body was completely falling apart. Well, I'm stealing chocolate, there's an indication of a lot of things happening there. And, and what what got my attention was I couldn't sleep. That's what drove me crazy, more than anything else. And so this is where I started, Okay, I gotta get something done about my sleep. So and so this is where, you know, you have to look at it, why are you not sleeping? And how can we address that? Because that will support you to be able to go to sleep?

Sabrina  13:04  
What are some common reasons as to why people aren't sleeping? You mentioned stress. And I'm one of those people who like, Yeah, I don't necessarily feel stressed. But being a counselor and a coach, and running a business and being the primary breadwinner, like I realized, I have stress, even if I don't feel like I'm stressed, right?

Caryl  13:26  
So that's not a good indication about how stressed you are is how you feel. Because it's what's going on in your body. That's the dictator of that we all know people who are cool as a cucumber. They can take everything that seems to be thrown at them. And then they get people who are Oh, just they go completely crazy, every the littlest thing, right. And yet, both people could be coping very well or not coping at all. So it's not really necessarily our reactions. But what's How is it in being internalized in the body? So I'm sure you're all your listeners, I'm sure you've talked about fight flight. And so if you stay in fight and flight, it's going to cause problems, whether you realize it or not, because so many of us are stressed, and we are chronically stressed. But we feel this is normal for us. So what happens with your

stress, you know, the cortisol is being released. And then over time, it's going to be challenged by making enough cortisol because you're staying stress. So guess what it goes looking for some other material to help make the cortisol, oh, let's take some progesterone, because progesterone will help. And so it steals the progesterone now you're low in progesterone, and now your estrogen was going to go high. Let's talk like higher just because your progesterone is going low. Now you're going to have another secondary problem. And guess what progesterone is our calming hormone, and that's also helpful for sleep. So now we've got another issue that's happening and when you're stressed Then you could, then you we have to look at your bacterial balance in your microbiome, right? So in the gut. So when you can't sleep, you are affecting that bacterial balance, you always want to have more good bacteria than bad bacteria. And one bad night's sleep can even affect that bacterial balance. So now that you have perhaps maybe a bacterial imbalance, and now we're having some gut health issues. So now we're probably having, you know, at some digestive issues, you can't eat certain foods or you don't feel very well you feel bloated, gassy, and then you have another hormone called serotonin, sorry, it's a neurotransmitter called serotonin. serotonin is largely made in the gut, and that's our happiness, feel good neurotransmitter, and it goes directly to the brain. And so people who are low in serotonin or generally have depression, so this is another connection where depression and not sleeping, but also, serotonin is a precursor to making melatonin. Melatonin is our sleep hormone. So now you're not even making enough melatonin, but you're probably not going to sleep anyways, because you're making too much cortisol. So cortisol is coming out at night when it's supposed to be coming out in the morning. So now you're going to be awake all night long. So this is where the hormonal imbalances and this is why it gets really, really tricky to work through for most people, you kind of really do need to have somebody help you through it, because those hormones they start going sideways, and how do you know which ones to work at? And how do you get to work on these things? So here we go back to thinking, Okay, now I got a gut health problem. But really what you had was a stress problem, that's now created a gut problem. And now you can't sleep because not having enough bacterial balance will in itself cause you to not sleep. So now you're not sleeping, and not sleeping is causing stress. So guess what, we have this nice big cycle going on here. And so then we can have things like anxiety, right? So especially menopausal women or perimenopausal women can start to experience but a lot of young people have anxiety as well. So this is where you know, the drama in your head doesn't seem to stop. So you're playing back something that happened 10 years ago, the fight from three years ago, this stuff that keeps coming up, why am I thinking this, and you're going to bed and it's not helping. So again, now we've got all this anxiety happening, causing stress, causing gut health issues causing the hormones to go askew. So you can see when we talked about earlier, how it's all related, it's all related. And then there's the blood sugar issues, because now we're not eating properly, because we need that quick little energy. So now you might be having some insulin resistance issues. And if you have insulin resistance issues, this means you could be having too much glucose in your bloodstream, and the cells aren't accepting them. And so what happens if you're depending on your diet, and then you go to bed, and then you have a crash, so you know, food spikes, and then it crashes? Well, when it crashes, and you're sound asleep, the body goes, Oh, my gosh, she's gonna die, we better wake her up. And it wakes her up what Guess what, pumping out cortisol. So here, we now have cortisol being pumped out at two in the morning, and you're going, why am I waking up? Well, could be your diet could be spiking your blood sugar. So again, all tying it back into hormones and all the effects that they can have there. But there's some other things that could be going on as well. Things something a little bit simpler to help but yet so impactful is your circadian rhythm. So your circadian rhythm is you know, your body wants to be in flow, it wants to have this nice, even balance in life. And so it's like that rhythm, right. And it's regulated by a master class. Sorry, a master clock that's located in your brain in your HIPAA thalamus, it syncs with all the rest of your clocks in your body, because your whole body's full of these little mini clocks in your organs, and so on. And it regulates everything. So you can imagine, I sometimes like to think of our body as a factory, right? Everything works in flow, and we've got the master clock in there saying everybody's come to work on time, you can leave on time, punch in, punch out, that's what it likes. But you know, we like to play with our lives and we know best and we know when we want to do things and we all go to bed when I feel like it, I'm going to sleep in and that body's not liking that. And so this is where you can throw your circadian rhythm off because we have a natural flow. And so going to bed at the same time getting up at the same time helps regulate that. Opening up the curtain see sunlight because that's going to send the signal to the brain that it's Oh, it's daylight and we're getting everything already for the day. It likes to Eat at the same time. So a good example of that is you missed a meal, or you're a couple hours late, your energy is drained, right, so not being in your rhythm can drain your energy. It likes to exercise at the same time, although that can be a little bit more flexible, because it's not easy to get all that in at the same time. It even likes bowel movements at the same time. So this is where, you know, if you have that bowel movement at, you know, eight in the morning, every morning, you're in rhythm, and that's a good thing. And if you're all over the map, you're not in rhythm with your body. And so trying to manipulate it is going to cause energy zapping in the body. And guess what? gonna have some sleep issues here. So the best way to think about that is jetlag. If you've ever experienced jetlag, that is really throwing your circadian rhythm off, and you're really going to struggle to get to sleep.

Sabrina  20:53  
Yeah, I remember that. My husband and I honeymooned in Scotland, hmm, 12 years ago or so. And that was like, normally My body is pretty on schedule, and you can time things like a clock. But when we had a six, seven hour time difference going there and coming back, like, Oh, I don't think I've ever felt as rough.

Caryl  21:19  
It is, it's very, it's so this is what you do to your body. If you are like, for example, on the weekend, I'm going to sleep in the week sleep in on the weekend or, you know, get to bed really late. So this is why a Monday you think, Oh gosh, it's hard to get to work, you know, because that's what you're fighting your natural rhythm. And I get it, it's challenging in life. You know, when you're young, you know, hey, it's Friday night, let's go out, you know, so it's just being mindful of that if your body is able to bounce back from these things, it's, you know, it's okay. But if you have issues or symptoms and not sleeping, this is one really easy fix to to at least work on that. Yeah.

Sabrina  22:03  
I think a lot of us understand what happens when we don't sleep because we're there. What is what is sleep? Or what happens when we sleep? What is normal sleep supposed to look like?

Caryl  22:19  
Yes, I like this question, because it's also the same question like when people ask, what does a normal bowel movement look like? Oh, shocked by that one. You want to ask the question, but you're a little bit afraid. Anyway, I like talking about this, because I when I discovered what sleep is, I found it really helpful to understand when you go to bed, right? So there's basically four stages to your sleep. And they're divided into REM sleep and non REM. Now REM stands for rapid eye movement. So non REM you can, the eyes aren't moving. So the there's three stages in non REM. So you start off with a light sleep. And this is going to represent about 50% of all your sleep, all your 50% of your sleep will be light. And this is where your heart rate rate and your breathing starts to slow down. Because you know, when you get into bed, your breathing starts to slow down. And you just start into that relaxation, now you're asleep. But it's a very light sleep, so it'd be easy to wake you up. And then you might cycle into what's known as the wake cycle. So now, you are technically wide awake, so but you might not know it, but the body is awake. Now some of us who wake up during our wake up cycles, really remember them so it can wake you up. And that might be what's happening is you're cycling into the wakeup cycle. And for some reason you're waking up. Now the wake cycle does not count as sleep. Then I'll explain why that's important in a minute. And then it'll cycle into deep sleep. And this is the really good sleep, this is what you want. It's the restorative sleep. If you slept all night long, and got up and got out of bed and I feel tired, it's probably because you didn't get enough deep sleep. So this is where you nothing is happening. There's no AI movement. Although your breathing is regular, your heart rate is really low, your body temperature starts to fall, so you're almost kind of cool. So sometimes I know when we're bed, it feels kind of cool, because you've gone into the deep sleep. And what's really important here is that the brain cools down. So this is where the brain can do a lot of restorative and repair work going on when it's cool down. Now science still trying to figure all this out because it's not an easy thing to study. But this is what's happening. And it's going to be extremely difficult to wake you up. So I don't know if you've ever experienced it or any of your listeners experienced this stage where somebody tries to wake you up and you're completely gone. ragi, and it's just so painful to be woken up. And that's because you're in deep sleep, it is so difficult to wake up in that stage, so you're really out, and you get about 25% of that in the night. So that's the aim of what should be happening. And when we're younger, we get a lot more deep sleep, as we age, we seem to get less deep sleep. And that's still a mystery as to why that is, again, maybe its nature, or maybe it's hormonal, but it just seems to be the shift, which is why, you know, older people seem to struggle a little bit more with feeling rested with their sleep. So then you're cycling into light sleep wake cycle, deeply wake like this going on, and then all of a sudden, you'll start moving now into your REM sleep. And so this is the dream sleep. And that's where you get the 20 other 25%. So the brain is active, like things are firing up like crazy in there, and you're dreaming. And it's, it's thought that maybe that's how we sort through our issues, or how we the brain processes what we've learned that day or over time or something, but the body will not move. And it's really thought that this protects us when we are in that dream state, so we don't go and act it out. So we're completely frozen. But our eyes are moving all over the place, even though the lids are closed, which is why it's the rapid eye movement, because it must be quite interesting to see that. And our blood pressure increase, our heart rate increases, our body temperature starts to rise. And our breathing is really rapid and shallow. It's like really something happening there. And if you sleep with somebody, you can tell when they're in that stage, I've often listened to my husband, oh, he's in RAM.

It's kind of interesting. And so you'll be cycling in again, light sleep, wake cycle REM. So in the first part of your night in the night, you'll get the deep sleep. And the last part, you'll get the REM sleep, which is why it's so important to get to bed early enough to get that deep sleep, because that's going to happen early enough. If you shortchanging it, then you might not get enough sleep. And it happens about every 90 minutes. That's normal. Now I had a What do you call it a monitor, to monitor when I go into these cycles. Now, a lot of these devices aren't necessarily totally accurate, some are a little bit better than others. But it gives you a good idea if you're watching over time. And it's really interesting or fascinating to see what your wake cycles are your light, your deep and REM and how much you're getting. But it becomes a little bit obsessive. You know, you wake up and you only got 75% deep Oh no, like, you know, I kind of try harder tonight as if it's an exam or something, right? So you got to be careful if you're going to monitor your sleep, but it's just monitoring to understand your cycles. Because the other part is, like I said, the wake cycle does not count as sleep. So you go to bed at, let's say 11 o'clock. And you wake up at seven. And you think, yeah, I slept all night long. That's eight hours. Because everybody says we need six to eight hours sleep or seven, eight hours sleep, I got eight hour sleep. But if you actually monitored it and looked at your wake cycle, you might have only had six hours or six and a half hours. So you didn't get eight hours sleep. But this is why I find it interesting because I haven't yet seen in the literature anywhere or the research. Well, if you're saying seven to eight hours sleep, is this seven, eight hours of the time in bed where you don't sleep, or is this actually monitoring it minus the weight cycle, you know, so it's a little confusing. And you know what, and they don't really know how much sleep they just know lesson six can be harmful, more than nine can be harmful. So there's a sweet spot in there. So for me the best guess is to aim for six to eight hours of sleep where you think whether you got the wake cycles or not, but judge it on how do you feel when you got up? You woke up and you said I don't think I slept very well you didn't. But if you wake up and you were only in bed for seven hours and you feel fantastic, then you've got enough sufficient sleep so it's all about your energy levels and how you feel and you

Sabrina  29:20  
get up. I love that being more intuitive with it and taking this information whether you have a Fitbit or some other device to help measure when you're in REM more light or deep but just be more intuitive with it have when I wake up, do I feel rested? Do I feel good? Or don't I? Because I know I've you know I used to wear a Fitbit I don't anymore, but I really loved the sleep feature because I know I was I got a little obsessive with it. Sometimes it's like Oh, look at that. Look, look at all that REM sleep, look at all that deep sleep. But then I get down on myself like well, why didn't you spend more time here and there were mornings I would wake up and my My Fitbit would say I slept really well. But man, I couldn't keep my eyes open. And I couldn't focus. Well, you're lying to me.

Caryl  30:10  
Glad to hear that you found it a bit obsessive, too. And so it really does, how do you feel, because these devices, they are known not to be accurate. So I mean, some of them are a little bit better than others. The only way to really know is to go to a sleep clinic. So I was sent off to a sleep clinic because I wanted to, why aren't I not sleeping? So in I go, and they literally put this thing over your head, and there's tons of wires everywhere, all over your chest, all over your brain. And all this goo, you know, it's really not an attractive look. And so okay, go to sleep. Seriously. Anyways, so but I was kind of glad. Yeah, I woke up at four in the morning wide awake, thinking, Okay, good. They're gonna measure that, you know, I'm not sleeping. So I'm excited to know. And, and then he woke me up later, I woke up later was like eight o'clock or something. And I saw I went, Oh, no, no, I'm gonna be late. And he says, Well, we couldn't wake you up, because you went into deep sleep. Really? At like at six in the morning? Which is not normal, right? You'd go into deep sleep earlier. I mean, or maybe it's normal. Who knows? Right? So anyways, but he says we don't wake people up when they're in their deep sleep. So it was so I thought, Okay, this is great information. I'm going to go see the sleep doctor, and they're going to tell me all about why I'm not sleeping. And so get to see the doctor and great. Why am I not sleeping? And the doctor said, you don't have sleep apnea. I said, Yeah, okay, great. Why am I not sleeping? I don't know. You don't have sleep apnea? And I said, Well, what about the hormones? I started talking about hormones, right? And the doctor just looked at me and said, I don't know. You don't have sleep apnea. So the sleep clinics, really great if you have sleep apnea, because then they can help you with that. But if you don't have sleep apnea, sorry, there's no answer for you, you sleep clinics are for disorders, medical conditions. And so this is why I know that if you don't fall under that category, we're dealing with hormones, here, we're dealing with stress, we're dealing with gut health issues. More than likely more than like one. And

Sabrina  32:30  
it's Yeah, it's really frustrating for listeners, because I know my husband's been there too, of not sleeping well, going and getting some sort of sleep study done and then finding out either either you do have sleep apnea, so let's give you a C pap or some type of breathing machine at night. And there are some people who respond really well to that. And then there are others who have just so many complications with the mask and the nose piece. And it's just, it doesn't cut it. And so they're still miserable. Or we have people like you who go in, and you don't have sleep apnea. And the specialists are like, Huh, we'll just give you this pill. Do you have any insight on like, why sleep medications are prescribed as kind of this? Like, we don't know. But your take this?

Caryl  33:21  
Well, I have my theory. So you know, I'm not a doctor. So I can't really say for sure. But my theory is the medical model. Right? So the doctor has his training or her training, and they have this, you know, this is if this happens, this is what you do. And so somebody doesn't sleep. Alright, do they have a sleep disorder? Do they have, you know, sleep apnea? Do they have? Do they have a an illness that is preventing sleep? Are they taking other medications that might be interfering with their sleep? And if the answer comes No, then there's nothing else for the doctor to look at. There's no other training that they've received, that tells them that there's another thing can't blame the doctors in some way. Because the person sitting in front of them crying, their eyes out, I can't sleep, and they're desperate, they're frustrated, they're exhausted. And the doctor has all this pharmaceutical Medicaid and education that has been told to them that this will help. But you know, a lot of the women that I see that are on the medication has become quite frightful for them. It's it can be addictive. It's only supposed to be short term, but they don't have solutions for the long term. And this is why I do what I do. Because I'd like women to realize or men realize that there is an alternative way to go, that it is a body function, you know, for for the work that I do. It's about putting that body back into balance. And so it's not part of the medical model. The other part of the medical model is cognitive behavior. therapy for insomnia cbti. And that is part of the medical model. But I don't know if if my cortisol is pumping out at 11 o'clock at night, if my hormonal balance is all a mess, my gut health is massive my scrub stress is off the roof. You could talk to me all you want, I could do all the sleep hygiene tips in the world. I can, you know, follow the circadian rhythm instructions. But I'm still not addressing the hormonal imbalance. So there's, there's a missing piece in the medical model. That's my theory anyway.

Sabrina  35:37  
But what I also hear you seeing Carol, is that there is hope that we can get back to sleep.

Caryl  35:42  
Yes. Hey, I know that because I did not sleep, I would go to bed dead, tired, exhausted. I say, Okay, I'm going to sleep tonight because I'm so tired. And I'd lie down in bed and I think oh, I'm gonna drift off and then wide awake. Because I'm pumping out cortisol, if the body's pumping out cortisol, I'm never going to sleep. And this is what I didn't understand at the time because feeling like it's daytime, like I was lying in bed two, three in the morning, I feel like it's like the afternoon and then I would get out I'd fall asleep maybe around five o'clock, six o'clock, I'd get an hour or something. And I get up and and then I make my way to the couch. I sit on the couch, I can't do anything. It was exhausting. So to go from that to now I'm sleeping. I went back to school and became a registered holistic nutritionist. I studied sleep I studied hormonal balances. I studied NLP which is neuro holistic programming. You know the language that we say to ourselves hypnotherapy, I became a Reiki Master, I did all of that. Because I got to sleep. My brain was working. I think that's what I think blew me away the most was where I went from not being able to get off the couch to actually studying science, which I wasn't very good before that either, but but at least now I get the concept of it. At this age, at this age, I think this is what's my most impactful message for people is that it doesn't matter what age you're at the body can respond if you give it the material that it needs. And the most like I said the most impactful thing for me was my mind how my brain functioned so much better not just for studying or learning but emotionally I could handle these emotional upsets. And I think God five years ago I would have been crying my eyes out over this now I just you know stood tall and held my ground it was I'm perfectly fine. It made all the difference in the world for me. So yes, it's all possible.

Sabrina  37:55  
Yay. I think I think the listeners will be so happy to hear that. Can you give them a couple tips that aren't just the typical sleep hygiene that we can get with cbti

Caryl  38:08  
to say that those cdti sleep hygiene tips are good it's not that it's bad they are good but like I said turning off electronics when you have cortisol issues isn't going to help you know you have to address what's going on. So generally like I have my my own clients in the Facebook group and so on but I really don't like getting out tips but one of the I'll give tips that I just want to pre frame that is one of the reason I don't like getting tips because somebody will be sitting there say oh I tried that it didn't work. I tried that it didn't work I tried that didn't work. So I'm not going to give a list of things to go and try because you're not addressing the problem if you go and say if I say oh melatonin but really help but if you have a cortisol issue, you can take the whole model melatonin it's not going to do a thing, right? It's not really going to get you where you need to be so you have to bear in mind of addressing the root problem my program I deal with five things so I deal with diet you have to address diets number one thing she wrote an ebook just on, you know, eat for sleep, right? It's it's very complicated. There's lots of things to deal with here and people's different diets and what to eat, but it's also looking at your gut health. So giving the the the nutrients that the the the gut needs to have that better gut balance. So you have to look at that. You have to move your body. I know we don't like to exercise, it's not fun. Well then don't exercise just move your body. And you know, dancing, dancing is fun. You know you could do it in the daytime, turn the radio on, nobody's looking up, go up and downstairs, go out for a nice long walk. There's gardening. Your house needs cleaning. I'm telling you when I do housework, I sweat. It's you know, if you get in there and start cleaning. It's that's movement that's moving your body. Your body was designed to move And it's going to be training you if you don't move your body. So, and studies have shown that exercise does improve sleep, you have to relax, you know, all the supplements and all the things in the world are not going to help you, if you are still not handling your stress. So it's really important to learn to de stress. So what is that for you? I could I could come up with about 20 ways to de stress. And you'll say man, I want to do that I've tried that doesn't work or you know, go through that list. But if I was to say that there was one technique, that does work, and if it doesn't work, it's because you're not doing it all the time. And that's deep breathing. I don't know if you talk to people about deep breathing, but I think anybody in this sphere always talks about deep breathing, deep breathing is a natural relaxing for the body, where even when you're stressed, you're in sympathetic mode, you want to get to the parasympathetic mode, deep breathing will do that, and you just don't go, Okay, I tried, it didn't work, right? Every day, every day, and there's tons of different types to do. So don't dismiss that, that is a practice that you need to do. It's not gonna knock you out, you got to get that body to relax, but it's one of the techniques, and you have to balance your hormones. And that's where you know, maybe having some expertise or coach to help you balance some because it you know, it could take a year, same as gut health work could take a year, it's not one and done. This can take a lot of time, it took me several years to get back to sleep. Now I didn't have a coach, I wish there was a coach, then I probably would have gotten back asleep much quicker. But I was trying to figure it out all myself. So you know, sometimes having a coach is really helpful for you to stop guessing and trial and error, especially when it comes to the complication of hormones and what actually will work for you. Because if you say, well, I'll try this and it doesn't work, then use you're discouraged. But if you have a coach, you'll say, okay, that didn't work. Let's try this. We know an equivalent, right? And of course, your mindset. What are you saying to yourself? Are you going to bed saying I can't sleep? I can't sleep? And then you can't sleep? Hmm. I wonder if there's a connection there. And I know that for a fact, because I kept calling myself an insomniac. Oh, yeah, I don't sleep. And one day, I think thinking Really? But aren't you sleeping most nights? Yeah, well, some nights I'm not sleeping. Yeah, but I'm an insomniac. So I had this internal battle in my head. And then I went Wait a second. Now, especially when I studied neuro holistic programming, when

you're not an insomniac, stop it, you know, you are sleeping. And I changed that I reframe that in my brain. And my sleep improved again, because I got out of this belief that I was Insomniac, when I no longer was. So I hope those tips are helpful. They're not very specific, I know. But this is the area you have to work. It's you can't just do one little thing. You know, I tried that it didn't work tried that didn't work. All these tips out there actually do work. But if you're doing them randomly, one at a time, and you're not addressing what the real issue is, you're wasting your money on all these things. That really, you're not getting to the core of what's happening.

Sabrina  43:17  
What it sounds like there's not this one size fits all approach is it's figuring out what's going on for you personally, and then experimenting with it and tweaking things. And looking at this from like an intuitive, intuitive perspective of, there's no meal plan that you have to make sure you do and check off all the boxes. It's figuring out what feels good in your body, what helps you sleep, what doesn't help you sleep, and then making the decision of like, I'm going to eat this and know that I'm not going to sleep very well tonight, or I want to sleep tonight. So I'm I might choose not to eat this. And same with the movement of that you don't have to go out and get an hour of exercise running every single day to sleep better. You just got to figure out how your body likes to move. And do more of that. Yes, absolutely. there anything else that you want to because you're just a wealth of information? Is there anything else any other wisdom that you want to impart on the listeners before we say farewell?

Caryl  44:19  
Oh, dear, I know I've given a lot of gems to think about, maybe leave that message of hope that it is possible. And especially you know, as you're aging, it's taking inaction. It isn't some miracle that you're just going to, you know, on its own get out of it. It's just going to accumulate and being a person older myself, I really have experienced that I really wished I was younger. I wouldn't have gone through some of the issues I went through but maybe I had to hit the wall. For me to really take charge again. Look at my contemporaries or you look at your parents and how They aging, you don't have to age like that you don't have to age illness. And so it's really what you talked about intuitively thinking about your body, what is the body needed, giving what it needs, and it will respond. This is the cool part. It does respond when you give it the material it needs. It's not that difficult. It sounds difficult. If I did it, anybody could do it.

Sabrina  45:28  
But I think Yeah, just leaving on that note of Hope is such a good way to end and I hope I hope that the listeners got even just a slight little nugget out of this episode. And if they want to find you, Carol, where can where can they find you out in the world?

Caryl  45:45  
Well, my website is Heart to Heart nutrition.ca or if they in Facebook, you want to join my facebook group, it's dirty to sleep, or if you want to reach out and email me my email is Carol but car while at heart to heart nutrition.ca

Sabrina  46:04  
wonderful. Thanks so much, Carol. Well, thank

Caryl  46:06  
you so much for allowing me to come on and talk about something I really love to share.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai