What If It Did Work?
What If It Did Work?
Finding Purpose: Anish Patel's Journey from Burnout to Authenticity
What happens when life's pressures push you to the brink and force a reevaluation of everything you thought you knew about success? Meet Anish Patel, a man who turned his journey from near homelessness to a prosperous entrepreneur into a quest for deeper meaning. Anish joins us to share the wisdom behind his transformative book, "The Reset Point," and recounts a pivotal moment atop the mountains of Argentina that changed his life forever. Discover how Anish found himself at the crossroads of financial triumph and emotional burnout, only to rise with newfound resilience and purpose.
Join us as we dissect the delicate balance between personal fulfillment and the intoxicating allure of external validation. Through candid conversations, Anish reveals his own experiences of shifting from a stable banking career to a pursuit of authenticity abroad, challenging societal norms along the way. We also navigate the fascinating yet perilous world of social media validation, questioning the true cost of prioritizing online recognition over genuine self-worth. This episode is a heartfelt invitation to confront uncomfortable truths, embrace authenticity, and unlock the potential for true healing and growth.
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I never told no one that my whole life I've been holding back. Every time I load my gun up so I can shoot for the star, I hear a voice like who do you think you are all right, everybody.
Speaker 2:Another day, another dollar, another one of my favorite episodes of my favorite podcasts. I'm biased. What if it did work? I have with me. It's been a while I've wanted to speak with him, anish Patel. Now he's going to give us valuable insights about his journey nine to five grinding to build a seven-figure video advertising company, only to face the ultimate burnout. He's given his profound insights into success, presence, the deeper meaning of life, because it's not all about chasing the money. I'd love to introduce the man, the myth, anish Patel, who just wrote an amazing book. I just started reading it the Reset Point. How's it going, brother?
Speaker 3:Hey Omar, Thanks for the introduction. That was epic reset point. How's it going?
Speaker 2:brother. Hey, oma, thanks for the introduction. That was epic and uh well, you're an epic person, man, so that's why I I had it.
Speaker 3:I had to give you justice, brother yeah, I mean, uh, without I'm not downgrading myself, I'm actually just an ordinary bloke, but I, I believe we all have a special presence, uh, that the book talks about, because we're all human beings.
Speaker 3:I think we're amazing in our ability that we're incredibly small in the face of the universe but we do incredibly big things in spite of our limitations. And that's why I wrote the book, because I went through some major struggles. You know, in life we have thrown so many things at us where we have to overcome them, and it's a test for us to show how powerful we really are, because a lot of us just don't see it. And I'm quite lucky because I grew up with a father. You know my background wasn't the brightest, it was a rough background. I won't go too much into it, but my father was one of the people that inspired me to have the courage and resilience to face whatever comes at me, and the book I've just written is exactly about that. It's about how you turn the crises that you face in life into your opening, into your true potential, because I face many of these well I mean you face people probably see the finished product and go if they social media stalk you.
Speaker 2:But they look at you. They see success. Man, you look like money, but not too long ago, man, you're in debt, you're almost homeless. You had shingles because you didn't get the vaccine there's no vaccine against shingles.
Speaker 3:Do you know what? You know what shingles is? Yeah, shingle.
Speaker 2:I was gonna ask you how did you get shingles? Because shingles is for people my age man that are that have had had um chicken pox right, but at after 40 exactly.
Speaker 3:Well, it's only two ways you get it either you have hiv or you have such low immune system that it comes back, because the chicken pox virus stays in your spine and it only comes back, and if your immune system is so bad. So when I had that low point, that was when I was living in Buenos Aires, argentina. I was in such a bad low point because I was before that. I was trying to be a promoter. I was going out every night, drinking, not sleeping very much. I spent all my savings, I was broke, I was sick, I was exhausted and I was lost. I was right at the bottom. So shingles is pretty bad if your immune system is that bad, that's when you get shingles, so it. It was pretty rough how I had that, but, um, the interesting thing that the book talks about is that I actually had. I was so fed up.
Speaker 3:I took a trip into the mountains. It was almost miraculous because I woke up on my 27th birthday and I don't know why. I just said I want to get out of it, I want to go to the bus station and go somewhere, and I said I'm not gonna choose where I'm going, I'm gonna just let my finger point on a location where I'm gonna go and I just closed my eyes and put my finger on the board and this place called Tukuman appeared and I didn't realize it was 18 hour bus ride all the way north of the country and I went to this place I'd never been and basically just hiked through the mountains alone, spent time alone, connected with myself, a part of myself that was very, very deep, and from that moment I found something I can't quite explain to this very day, but it was very deep within me that wanted to change my situation and I made a decision that that time to, yeah, be financially free.
Speaker 1:I said I didn't want to be rich.
Speaker 3:It wasn't about being rich, I just wanted to empower myself because I was in such a financial problem there and that's where my business grew. It grew very, very quickly within three years. I was so surprised at how fast it grew. I remember my bank calling me in the UK because I live in Argentina. My bank was in the UK and the bank called me up saying we're going to close your account down. There's too much money coming in. This is the wrong. I had to fly down and it was just crazy, but I had.
Speaker 3:The interesting thing is, after I had that business, I went through a burnout. I went through what I call a reset point, where I evaluated myself again because I was very unhappy. I was making a lot of money, a lot of money, and I just was very unhappy. A lot of my life felt very meaningless and I had to spend the next few years understanding why. Because a lot of the reasons I had chosen to do that business and a lot of decisions I made after that were obviously false. So people talk about false programming and social conditioning. I also. I slowly got to understand that I was running on all these, all these beliefs, and then I spent a very long time.
Speaker 3:This is where the real journey really begins, because I spent 10 years after that exploring who I was. I studied acting, so I was kind of. I started I was. I studied acting, so I was kind of. I studied I was an actor. I went into self-help, self-development, therapy, spirituality, very, very deep and I spent a lot of money as well. I spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to really understand who I am. And about three years ago I went through another crash. So another reset point. This was when I went very deep with one self-development group. I just went very deep into a field of somatics. I don't know if you know what that is. It's a study of the body, emotions, energetgetics.
Speaker 3:So we went very deep into that and, yeah, part of my ego just came apart and, uh, I had a huge, uh I don't think I'd call it breakthrough, but I had a kind of whole collapse and um, a lot of peace came from that point, a very simple simplicity I can call it, and don't get me wrong I still want to have business, I still want to create things on earth, but it came from a lot of, a lot more solidness that I didn't have.
Speaker 3:A lot of my life before was built upon trying to get validation from the world. Trying to get validation, you know, I ask a lot of people who want to be rich or they want to have a beautiful girl in their arm or they want to have this, and that I kind of ask them why do you want that? And I think it's important people ask that question because you want to. There's two things either you want validation or you want to feel fulfilled for yourself, and that's something I really want to help people with. That's why I started what I'm doing now, because I think everyone deserves that. Just to be themselves and happy with who they are, no matter what they do.
Speaker 3:That could be anything.
Speaker 2:Anish. With everything that you went through, you hit rock bottom. Do you think the universe gave you that as a gift, as a starting point so you can truly appreciate and you can really find awareness, find the real Anish and instead of you know, chasing money, chasing items, yeah, that's what I talk about Life force in the book.
Speaker 3:Life force is like the universe, whatever you want to call it, god universe, anything you want to call it there is a part of something, outside of part of you, other than you, that is guiding you, and it's guiding you through these crises of hitting rock bottom, not as a bad thing, not because it wants to punish you, but it's. It's a sign, a crack to open you into you, because I feel like everyone's very confused right now. We're kind of chasing and running around like headless chickens and we're not taking the time to just see who we are. And I don't think that means we have to go and meditate in the hills for 10 years or become a monk or anything. It just requires a little bit of self-examination, a little bit of quietness. And in the book I talk a lot about that uh, the principles, which is like looking at yourself, going into yourself, uh asking questions to reveal that in you no, I I mean I meditate.
Speaker 2:And yes, a lot of people think when it comes to meditation, sorry, it means going out into like a buddhist temple and hearing the gong and you know the smoke, and the buddhist monks, or like what you said, go for years and years and years and that's why people don't do it. But they don't understand that just a little bit of meditating, just getting started and doing it on a consistent basis, it will really center you and get your head clear yeah, um, it does.
Speaker 3:But one thing people don't realize about meditation and this is where it really is important to understand is meditation is going to show you things you don't want to see. When you really do it properly, you're gonna. It might erupt things in you, um, but it's a good thing because that's the parts that are going to change you. I think a lot of meditation is used as a band-aid to kind of calm the chaos inside you, but the chaos inside you is the key to healing and your true fulfillment, because we're all sitting on top of a lot of stuff that isn't us and stuff for things we call pain.
Speaker 3:So the idea, the hope in my book is to help people embrace that, because what reset really is, what a crisis really is, it's forcing you to face that pain, because if you don't, life's saying well, you know what. You've spent years trying to avoid it. Here you go. Now you've got to feel it because you can't avoid it anymore and that's why people have these crazy things where their house, their wife leaves them, they lose their job, you know, they go into complete craziness, and it's because life's just said look, you spent so much time avoiding this, now it's time for you to evolve.
Speaker 2:That's painful, though, because people are so used to living wearing a mask and pretending to be something that they're truly not, or aspiring to be something that really isn't serving them anyways, it's very difficult.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's, it's. It's not easy work. A lot of the things I talk on the book is um, it doesn't need to be painful if you, as long as you accept what's, accept your truth. So, for example, I, before I set up my business, before I went broke and all that stuff happened, I worked in a bank in nine to five grind, I talk about that and I was you know, on the surface very successful, very fulfilled.
Speaker 3:I had a girlfriend who loved me, I had everything I needed, I was comfortable. But I had this dream that I wanted to go abroad and I nearly quashed it because I was getting more and more comfortable and I was kind of saying, you know, maybe I don't need to go, but it was a part of me, that was the truthful part of me, that I had wanted to go for the adventure, that wanted to go and explore the world. And thank God, I actually took that route at 25. But a lot of people don't do that. They're like they have dreams, they forget about them, they're slowly quashed under layers of comfortability, numbness, and then they start drinking, they start doing other stuff to can't, to cover the truth.
Speaker 3:So actually, pain is not even pain, it's true. It's not even pain, it's truth. It's truth that you've buried and there's different layers of truth and I talk about this in the book that we're burying all these truths within us. Until you know, we're getting to the deeper, deeper truth and the ultimate truth. I don't even know what that is, yet that's we're getting to the deeper, deeper truth and the ultimate truth. I don't even know what that is yet that's.
Speaker 2:We're going to a very spiritual realm there, but that's essentially what it is, so a niche, then pretty much people can't handle the truth, so that's why they numb themselves with vices, whether it's being a sex addict, drinking, gambling, snorting, partaking, doing anything to not only avoid pain but what really pain is anyways is the truth, and the biggest drug of all is this thing here, the cell phone.
Speaker 3:You probably can't see it, because there's a podcast where I just pulled a cell phone up. This is the biggest drug right now. I talk about this in my book. We live in a time now where distraction and is pretty, pretty strong right now and it's taking us away from our truth. Because when we have a phone and we have tech and we have content everywhere where we're getting very pulled away from ourselves because everything we need is here in our body. The truth is here inside us. We try and look outside in different places. I mean, I do this still because the mind is trying to distract us away from the truth inside us and so it does sometimes require a little bit of a break from technology. It requires a complete cleanse sometimes and try and take the time to be yourself and find that balance inside you and find that kind of slowness and stillness in you.
Speaker 3:And people who are young and want to chase money and want to chase fame, that's OK. I did it. I don't think it's bad. I think we all have to evolve to a certain point and we're ready or we're not. I think I'm 42 years old. I think there'll be people who resonate with what I'm saying, because they're at that point and they're ready to kind of look in these go into this period. But a lot of people won't be. They're just like well I'm, I want to hustle, I want to make some cash, I want to go party. You know that's okay to do that, because if you're, you've got the drive in you, you've got to burn that weight, um, but if there's a part of it strongly wants to find truth, that that will lead you, that will really guide you.
Speaker 2:Well, we do that too. Like what you said earlier. For validation, I mean for years, for most of my life, just either chasing happiness or trying to buy happiness, or trying to be like hey, look at me, I, I'm smart enough, I'm good enough, you know I'm, and it was all all for validation of others, instead of being like you know, just loving myself and realizing you know, all all I need is within me. Now. Now I use that affirmation every single time, and if I'm I'm chasing, or if I'm looking out for validation but I can't love myself or I can't be honest with myself, then all I'm going to do is attract those that are the same, that are disconnected, that are looking outside sources for happiness. They want validation themselves.
Speaker 3:Yeah, pretty much. I mean that's the way it works. It's like, if you're thinking that, I mean let's just say you're looking for a partner I see a lot of narrative on social media now about women. Uh, where, like, oh, women just want rich guys who are good looking, and if that's what you believe, that means there's something in you that believes that and that's all you're going to see in the world. But if you know that it's already about being happy and fulfilled inside, you won't think like that because you'll know there's people out there women out there, partner out there. That's exactly like you out there and in fact, when you meet people, you'll see that in them. You'll see that they're just a human being and none of this stuff even matters.
Speaker 3:It's absolutely absolute bullshit, and so it takes levels to understand that, because it takes levels to being yourself, to remove whatever's causing, removing the emotions that are causing validation. In the book I talk about, one of the big ones is shame. So shame is one of the deepest, heaviest emotions that is probably buried a lot under that validation that says we're not, we're not good, we're not okay, and that's a deep root that probably needs to look at. There's probably a lot of emotions above that, probably anger, people are angry, or there's people prideful, and when we go deeper and deeper to that kind of lower emotion, the root we can, we can. Once we get to that point, that can be a key to letting go of that validation. But it requires some some digging in this process. What we call meditation but we're not really even talking about meditation, we're talking about this is surgical work, so a bit like a doctor going straight into the artery.
Speaker 2:Now, Anish, why do pretty much all of us have such a deep-rooted feeling of deep shame?
Speaker 3:uh why?
Speaker 2:yeah, because it's we, we all, pretty much. Unless someone can walk on water or you know, most people deep down inside they, they want to escape shame. They want to escape whatever lie, whatever story they want to believe about themselves, which is ultimately rooted in shame yeah I mean that that.
Speaker 3:That's an interesting question because I could always say, oh, it's how we were conditioned by our parents. They put shame in us and, um, I? I think it's more subtle than that because I, I, um. One of the books I talk about in the book that I read and I still hold as a bible is a book called letting go and it talks about these emotions and it looks at it very, very, uh, simply and they don't go into narratives and it talks about shame and it says that shame is actually the the same emotion as pride.
Speaker 3:So shame, shame is uh the idea yes, I'm not, I'm not good enough, I'm bad, and it's something that can be very toxic depending on our childhood. We might have gone through some really horrific stuff in our childhood, to something that could have been quite mild, like our parents told us, but shame is actually a form of pride and pride is almost like saying we're separate from the other people around us. So actually thinking in our mind that we're separate and we're limited by this pride is what actually keeps us in pain. Where it comes from, I have fucking no no idea. It's coming from lines and conditioning since the beginning of time, I mean, I could say parents, but probably their parents got it, then their parents got it, and then I mean it doesn't really matter. I think the point is it's like it's for us.
Speaker 2:It's genetics, if you think about it. Because if it's passed down, based on programming, based on our parents, grandparents, great grandparents and before that, it's got. When you can pass the gene of alcoholism or whatnot, shame, yeah, man, nobody likes it, man, at the end of the day. That's why validation is always like so, hey look, that's why everybody's addicted to their phone, because they they want to escape their reality, but they want to see themselves in these other people's lives, these reels, these stories, these influencers. I'm 10 years older than you, so growing up, were people ever saying you know what? I want? To be an influencer. Now we look, what does that even mean? Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. They want to be an influencer. If you and I went out and it's like you can't enjoy your workout, do you do you honestly feel that you're going to get these 10 million downloads because you're posting a video of you doing a bench press, even though we, we've all seen people do bench presses?
Speaker 3:yeah well, yeah, I mean that's an interesting question you raise about influences, because it's a huge thing right now. It's growing and I find it incredibly boring Because there's no originality in what people I mean. There's nothing wrong with talking about yourself, but there's nothing original about it. Like you said, validation is is just the same stuff. It's again saying how good I am, how smart I am, how beautiful I am and the, the, the to to go in the gym, and I mean I feel bad for these people because they must be like I don't feel good in myself right now, so I have to do this to feel good about myself, or I need to do this to feel successful or what I'm doing. But I can't just be with myself and work out and feel the burn of the muscles while I'm doing that and really feel good about that and not even have to look at my phone. That that you know. I feel bad for them.
Speaker 2:Or think about it. They're doing that because to them it's like you know that old saying if a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it, does it really make a noise To them? Maybe they're not successful, they haven't really worked out because it doesn't count unless there's an outside validation, unless there's people viewing, unless there's people viewing, unless there's people giving the cyber hugs going. Oh my gosh, congratulations, you're doing an amazing job. You look great. Thank you, keep on inspiring us.
Speaker 3:You are such a rock star yeah, I think I think I, the way I look at it right now, even as you talk about it, I I think that they're probably very confused. I think I think I, the way I look at it right now, even as you talk about it, I I think that they're probably very confused. I think a lot of younger people do this. I might be wrong. There's probably older people doing it. I don't see so many older people doing it. I, um probably was like that myself. Thank god I didn't have influencing in. Yeah, because I'm 42, you're, you're 52, right?
Speaker 2:51 I'm bad at math, I said 10, but you know I just added the 10. I'm not indian, I'm spanish.
Speaker 3:So you know, I ran out in toes um, and I had the skin card to help me look a bit younger. Um, but the, the I might. I mean I had that when I was going, when I was growing up in the gym because I was like in my family, looking good and having a good body, not being fat, that was the big thing in my family don't be fat, don't be a fat bastard. So it was almost like anything to not be fat. I don't even think I wanted a six pack, but I just didn't want to be fat, don't be fat.
Speaker 3:That was a huge thing then and I used to go to the gym obviously because it was yeah, that's the only way you can feel like a winner. Go to the gym, go, feel like a winner. And I still work out now. But I just like working out, I like the feeling of weight, but, um, but I remember the validation I used to get in the gym back then and I used to do crossfit in my early 30s and there was so much validation in that part because crossfit has a lot of that of course, of course, and it's community and it's it.
Speaker 2:You know, especially when everybody's doing a hero WOD or the Murph in May or CrossFit competition. I still do it, but horribly at 51 compared to I'd started in my late 30s. But it's addicting because you get validation, you get people to be a part of you, because nobody wants to be alone. It's a community and that's what CrossFit, ultimately, is no different when people say, oh, you joined that cult. All a cult is really is belong, wanting to belong to something, wanting to feel significant, wanting to feel like I really do matter yeah, that that's a good point, because I talk about that in the book as well.
Speaker 3:About intimacy, because I talk about wanting to be heard, wanting to know that you're not alone, because that's a huge thing right now. I think we have a huge problem with isolation, where technology makes us believe we're connected, makes us believe we have community. I'm glad even the CrossFit community is good if it's in person, at least you've got people around you physically, um. But I feel like there's probably a lot more isolation, disconnection than there ever was before because of because now we're talking less to each other because of technology. And one of the things that I think is super important is the whole intimacy element of actually having this connection with everyone that we've lost in a lot of big cities. I think in the US it's probably a little bit worse than Europe.
Speaker 2:Isolation is huge. Think about it. You can go anywhere in the world and people are on a date and they're sitting across from each other and, instead of being engaged, instead of reading body language, instead of being in the moment, they're either texting each other back and forth, even though the person's right across from them and having a conversation, or they're on a date and they're they're just on social media posting, or they're they're looking at, maybe to see who else is on the date Makes no sense.
Speaker 3:I don't know, I've never seen, I've not seen this in in Europe.
Speaker 2:Maybe you have to come, to come to the United States, cause it's huge. It's mainly, mainly not. People are well, I don't know, maybe, but like 16, no, go ahead where are you based? I'm based in in Florida, south Florida.
Speaker 3:I'm South Florida. You're not Miami, are you? Because I can imagine that.
Speaker 2:I'm my. I'm from Miami. I'm'm just north of miami.
Speaker 3:I'm in the suburb okay, well, that's good, you got a little bit away from it well, I grew up in the suburbs.
Speaker 2:Anyways, I grew up in a working class, middle class neighborhood in miami. That you know. Everybody thinks the south beach of miami, like 98 of miami, doesn't live like that. But yeah, but that's another story. But yeah, I never.
Speaker 2:Everybody wants to feel like you know, hey, I'm from a big city or you know, and, yes, I did the partying and I chased women, I chased significance, I chased all that. But yeah, I know, south Florida, los Angeles, new York, las Vegas, it's just a lot of people trying to find the happiness man Trying to find deep down inside. A lot of times people feel isolated and if they think they buy a gucci or a prada or they drive a certain car, they're gonna feel like they matter, like, hey, I, I want to be, and that's why, you know, people go to these places. You know people will overspend going to nobu to eat sushi all over the world where you can eat it down the street for like shininess right, it's the shiny yeah, but it's not only just for you, it's because, think about it, everybody has to post about it.
Speaker 2:Everybody has to tag themselves. You know, everybody has to check in out. In england I'm a harrods, yeah, it's like, okay, congratulations, man, who cares? Everybody has a credit card. It's like here, everybody, when they go to las vegas, they have to check in, they have to, they have to buy. It won't count, unless they buy the shirts. Now they won't buy the shirt of the casino that they actually spent the weekend at. You know, they have to do the Caesar's palace or they have to do the the wind and the Bellagio and it's like but what about the other 20 properties? Those are empty. Because, you know, if you look around, you only see people wearing shirts and stuff like that.
Speaker 2:Because we want to matter, we want to feel like you know there's got to be more and we are the center of our own universe. People just don't get it. Now I'm talking to Anish Patel. He's the writer of the Reset Point and Anish is passionate because he knows there's someone out there. More than likely it's all of us. It's almost the end of the year. We're all in transition. I've I've been at the end of relationships I've been the end of careers, in the end of marriage. Where was this book? Years ago, man, I I actually got it from from your publicist. I read the first chapter and I can't wait to read the rest. So the reset point. Anish, tell the audience where do we get this book?
Speaker 3:So it's available on Amazon. Also, you can go to my website at anishcpatelcom and if you're going through some kind of crisis or transition point, it's going to guide you through that, uh, to help you find some clarity and go towards that clarity. It works on the principle of yeah, acceptance, taking your time and embracing what's going on inside you instead of denying it. And what you're going through is okay. It's not bad.
Speaker 2:Now, anish, I know you weren't thinking you were going to go through all this. When you were successful, when you had your advertising agency, what happened? Was there an aha moment? Was there a moment that it just all came together Because I know you crashed but you got up? Was there a defining moment in anish patel's life that the light bulb, the proverbial figure of light bulb, came out and you're like this has to change.
Speaker 3:This is my reset point sorry, I'm not too clear on the question. So you mean like yeah, like, like, like.
Speaker 2:Was there a catalyst, was there something that got you saying enough, because we're either. You know the pain, pleasure, what, what, what was it that was the tipping point for you that said this isn't who I am, this isn't what I want, I, I create my own life. I create, create my own destiny.
Speaker 3:This is my reset point well, I, I, I honestly don't to this. Well, in the past I used to believe I create and I could do this, and I change that. I've got to the point right now where I don't think you really do create anything. I think you're allowing what's already there to come to you. I believe everything out there is already there to come to you. All the goodness in the world is there to come to you. It's almost like divine gift and we've just got to take it, accept it.
Speaker 3:I've been through many of these reset points throughout my life. I mean, in the book that talks about eight of them, major transitions. Most of them was the choice to say I accept and I'm going to accept who I am. I'm going to accept my true potential and let whatever needs to come come. I don't. Um, I know people talk a lot about manifestation and design, lifestyle and all this stuff. I, I believe that the outcome is not really up to you, but you will have a fulfilling life and successful life. But the outcome won't be what you see, what it is, and in fact I actually say don't define it too much, because your, what you get, might be even bigger than what you even think you should have. So I hope that answers your question.
Speaker 3:But, like my business was a huge example, I didn't expect to make seven figures. I didn't expect it. I never wrote a goal I want seven figures, I'm going to make seven figures. I never wrote that. It only came with a decision that something has to change. Goal I want second figure. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, make second figures. I never wrote that. I only came with a decision that something has to change. I need to take yeah, I need to take the reins of my life back and change and move away from this stuff that doesn't serve me anymore. And, yeah, accept the pain that I'm already in surrender. That's what a lot of people talk about. This is what the surrender is.
Speaker 2:It's to say, look, this is not up to me anymore now is that how you overcame the drug addiction, the alcoholism, the sex addiction.
Speaker 3:Well, that came over time. That came over like periods. The alcohol addiction man. I struggled with that for so long. I tried willpower to stop it. I tried. You know people's mindset and all this crap and you know what I did. I just asked myself a question like when did this start? When did I start drinking? And then a memory came back, when I was 16, where my dad and my brother-in-law gave me a drink, a beer, and they said to me you're not a real man if you don't drink a beer. And after that I don't drink a bit. And after that I didn't drink anymore, not because I, not because I couldn't.
Speaker 3:I can drink if I want, but I just didn't feel compelled to. The compulsion went and it was surprising me when that happened. I was like, how did I, how did I get rid of that so quick? I went straight to the root. This was like after years of trying to use willpower to stop drinking. Just, you know, people do these drinking fasts one month, uh, movember, what the hell that is? Um, I just asked myself what's the route? Where did this start? The, the sex addiction, was a bit more deeper. Um, I went through some therapy, um, and I had to go through some deep things because that that, that sex addiction was caused by a sexual trauma in my childhood.
Speaker 1:That was profound because it happened when I was four years old and that healed let.
Speaker 3:It took a bit more time to heal, but it meant I had to go very deep into my body to heal that. So I call the body healing stuff, the container, which means you know a lot of the stuff. The deep roots of all your problems and your pains and your blocks in your life are probably very lower down in your body. People don't want to go down there because they're all up here in the head. We're used to being in our heads thinking and in the body. This is where the real magic happens. This is where all the problems are also stored. When we clear all the problems out of our body, we actually find a lot of freedom. Through that we heal our addictions, we find a lot more fulfillment in like very simple things.
Speaker 3:So I mean I live now on the beach near a town and there's not really much going on here, but it's. I love it because it's very simple and the views are beautiful and I get a lot of fulfillment and wholeness from the day-to-day things like the normality. I'm sure 21 will be like that's fucking boring. Let's go to Miami or let's go hit the club. That's what I used to do. I was like this is the moment. Now it's so damn boring. I just want to go and do something exciting. Let's go chase something now. Let's go chase the next thing. But that's because my body is clear. Now my body is clearer that I can enjoy that.
Speaker 2:Well, you embraced the moment, you embraced yourself. You would find happiness in South Beach. You would find happiness in a small town because you are comfortable in your skin, don't you think? You're at peace? Much more than 20, that's a lot of us, but a lot of us, it wasn't it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we had all that energy and we all had, but we're, we're all trying to run from that pain that you talk about. We're all trying to run from that pain that you talk about. We're all trying to run from the truth Because if you think about it when you're young, in your 20s, you still, if you wanted to, subconsciously, we at that, can still recognize and know, if we sought the truth, to know what it was that that gave us all that trauma, that. So it's right, there it's. It's actually, to me, it's fresh, the trauma when it's only 10 years ago or 12 years ago, compared to, you know, 30, 40, 50, after years of burning stuff and since everybody always only wants to operate on the very surface, superficial, so they don't even have to go go deep, because going deep requires work, requires scariness, I think it's just safe to be as superficial as possible.
Speaker 2:Why heal man? Why heal right? There's all these. Oh, I don't have to heal. I accept myself because that's a bullshit story. It's harder to say. It's harder to say anish man, I'm gonna fucking do the work because I deserve it. Yeah, I know there's going to be pain, I know it's going to be a process, I know it's not going to be instantaneous. But this work, I will find the root, I will bury it, I will dig it and I will live as I truly was always meant to be. But nobody wants to do that. It's easier. Oh yeah, we're all flawed, we're all broken, we're all like that Japanese art that you know you glue together because, right, everybody loves the memes, because you know it gives us validation. Where we're all broken, we're all this. Well, if you're broken, fix it. Oh no, don't worry about it, I've forgiven. I've forgiven it.
Speaker 3:It's easier to boy, no one's broken no no, but you know what it's that meme?
Speaker 2:you've seen those memes right, there's nothing there's nothing, I think that's a huge thing.
Speaker 3:You mistake people. There's a lot you know. Personal development right now has a big problem and I've been talking from someone who's spent seven years and spent a lot of money on personal development personal development, you as well.
Speaker 2:Hundreds of thousands of dollars and personal development, just to realize I need to fucking do the work. I create my own fucking happiness. There's no certification, there's no fucking, there's no seminar, because you become an addicted to this I call it a seeker. Oh, dude, I'm feeling a little better, but if I keep on going, I'm going to find the answer. No, the answer is not out there, man. The answer is right in here. Right inside your fucking soul man.
Speaker 3:That's the point. Yeah, that's the problem with a lot of personal development. They're reading quotes, they're doing this, they're reading quotes, they're doing this, they're reading that book, they're reading this. They keep going around in circles and then they're avoiding this. It's super simple, it's here right now and it's all here right now within you, and it just takes practice to be aware. It's not difficult, but the hard part is people don't want to look. They don't want. They don't want to look at the parts of them they don't want to.
Speaker 3:You don't need a shadow coach. There's a huge thing right now, for example oh, I need some shadow work. What the fuck is shadow work? Shadow work all that means is the stuff you don't want to look at. You don't need to pay a shadow coach.
Speaker 3:Just sit with yourself and ask yourself why, why? All right, I, I, I'm, I'm unhappy in my life. Please welcome all the stuff that makes me unhappy. What is, what is the root? And it will come. I tell you, if you sit for 30 minutes or an hour by yourself and ask that question and wait, it will come. You will cry, you will scream.
Speaker 3:I'm laughing, not because I'm laughing at the person. I'm laughing because I had to go through this. I mean in one of the books. I don't know why I did this to this day, but in Berlin, when I was going through all that alcohol and drug, drug addiction I lied on the floor for 10 days. For seven hours I was lying there doing nothing. You can call it meditation. I wasn't even. It wasn't even meditation. I was just being with myself. And then everything just came up. It cracked open. All my grief came. I cried for hours, I was shouting, everything was just boiling up because it was just me being there for myself. And that was a huge shift as well, a massive shift because I became intimate with myself.
Speaker 3:That's a huge thing, people, if, if you want to feel you don't want validation with people, become intimate with yourself first. That might mean staying with yourself for a long time if you're sick, if you're so miserable that you, you, you, you, you can't even stand yourself. Just sit with yourself. Now there's people who are very sick and mentally ill. I don't think they should do that. Maybe they should go to a psychiatrist. That might be what I don't want to advocate for everyone, but I think some, a lot of people just sitting with yourself, taking that time yourself. Don't look at the quotes, don't look at the memes. Don't do the breath work, don't do this bollocks. Just sit there and just see what happens.
Speaker 2:Breathe slowly, not forcefully and you're gonna have a lot of these gurus upset man, I know I mean I'm ruining their business model man by ruining my own business, to be honest.
Speaker 3:But I don't care, because I I don't want people to go through what I went through, and one of the reasons I wrote that book was for this reason. I just want people to just show them like this is incredibly simple, you don't need all these solutions. I, I mean, I don't give a shit if these guys come after me, I don't care, because I I want the good for people. I just want them to find healing and happiness.
Speaker 2:Well, because you're in service, you see, these people they're. They're. To me, they're like false prophets. In fact, the only prophet they are is p-r-o-f-i-t, because they profit.
Speaker 3:You like that? Right, I get it.
Speaker 2:I get, I gotta use that one, yeah yes, man, and it's a character I've seen so many of these gurus like, when the camera's off, yeah, yeah, and that's not who they are. People don't understand. People are in love with the character. Yeah, that's not even who these people actually are. You know, in a seminar or in a webinar, the camera's on or they're on stage. Yes, that's an amazing person, but that's not. That's not who they are. Anyways, they're playing, they're lying, yeah, lying man, and it's like oh, I want to be like that. No, you don't. You want to be your authentic self. You, you don't want to be. You want to help create a better world.
Speaker 2:Majority of gurus out there, it's only a means. They see people's checking accounts, yeah, and that's it. They don't care. It's not a win-win. Hey, if it's a win and you tie, you lose. Who cares? They get their pockets filled. Now, anish man, that's what you said it best and that's why the reset point to me, it's an essential book. I was like I said I just I got it not too long ago, today, a couple hours ago, and I read it and just the first, the first couple of of pages, the first chapter got to me and you see, we're like-minded spirits, because I. I had to live the pattern of self-destructive behavior. The success, the failure, success, the failure. And, oh my gosh, I need to go see this guru. Personal development, business development.
Speaker 3:You know, what made the world a fucking happier place was if I would have donated those hundreds of thousands of dollars to the fucking poor yeah, probably, and you just sat there and were with yourself for a few hours a day and you probably would have solved a few more problems than going to that seminar exactly exactly, anish.
Speaker 2:You already told us the reset point. Amazon, or get it on anisha's and dude you the pictures on your website. I like it, man.
Speaker 3:Uh, you look sharp it's a bit mythical and mystical. I teach qigong, so if you see me put my hands down, that's a. That's a qigong technique. So just to. I'm not doing down, that's a. That's a qigong technique. So just to.
Speaker 2:I'm not doing any magic or voodoo or anything, don't worry so do you work with people on a one-to-one basis or do you work?
Speaker 3:yeah, I, I do, um, I, I offer them the principles and, uh, try and get them into their body and be clear on themselves and just to make sure, how do people find you, how do people hire you?
Speaker 2:Because I actually, to me, I'm being honest with you I can tell you you just want people to find happiness. You want people to be their own authentic selves. So how do people find this? Because a lot of people just don't know how. How do they find you and how do they start?
Speaker 3:So they can just go to my website and look. Just go on my website and look through it. There are some methods on it to contact me and work with me. There's even a button that says work with me. But just what I recommend people do is go on the website, look at the stuff, check in with themselves, feel their gut, see what and if I resonate with you, go with it. If you don't, please don't Question whatever I've written. If you think I'm a charlatan, good, don't, then click away. I want you to make the best choice.
Speaker 3:My thing is not about teaching you or training you in any way. It's more like unveiling who you are. That's the whole point of outlier. Why I use this word outlier? Outlier is just meaning someone. It means someone who's a deviation in the normality of society, but it's also someone who's like following their own path. They trust their own path, which might not even seem successful to everyone. It might seem even strange, but it's, it's your part and I'm there to help you, just to support you to go on that path. So I'm a guide. I'm not even a coach. I don't even know what that word means it's, it's, it's more, a guide. You know, I can see that that's in you. Go, do it. You know, a sculptor will unveil the beauty inside a stone, and that's what I see myself doing is just saying look unveil that I can go to the office store, run out a certificate and you're a coach.
Speaker 2:How's that yeah?
Speaker 3:well, I, I don't like that word I, I, I, I hear you, I like the good guide, you're a guide.
Speaker 2:You're not a guru. You're not a life coach.
Speaker 3:I don't want to be any of those things. I would like to serve and I love talking to people and I can see things in people that I've had in my whole life. I probably should have done this a long time ago, but maybe I was too afraid to do it. But, uh, I see the potential in everyone. Uh, you know, we all, we're sitting on a gold nugget, we're hiding, um don't get me wrong like.
Speaker 3:You don't have to. It's not about being rich. I I talk about a guy in the book, a guy who's a friend of mine. He makes shoes in italy and he's not a rich man. He's no one glamorous, but he's an amazing soul. He's just got so much energy. He's in his 70s. He's such an amazing person I talk about this guy in the book. He inspired me so much and he's no one. He's not a guru, he's not, he's not rich, he's just's just a very powerful person and he loves it.
Speaker 2:He's very successful To me. What you're talking about to me describes success, yeah.
Speaker 3:Whatever that means as well, that's what I talk about.
Speaker 2:But to me, my definition he's happy. That's happiness, that's success, that's authenticity. Anish, our time is almost over, but I have to ask you this final question what words of wisdom do you have to that person? That just life through them, that a curve. They weren't expecting a divorce, they weren't expecting to be laid off. They weren't expecting a divorce. They weren't expecting to be laid off. They weren't expecting trauma, they weren't expecting change.
Speaker 3:And yet now they're feeling defeated because they don't know where to start and they don't know if they truly have the power to get out of this short-term predicament well, for, firstly, um, this is a amazing place to be, even if it doesn't seem like that, and the fact that you're here right now means that you are here for a reason and you need to go on living because that potential is waiting for you. So the fact that you exist right now is a powerful symbol of success, and that means that, if you're still breathing, that you're here to do something that's your job. So, whatever that means, whatever crisis that you're in, you do something that's your job. So, whatever that means, whatever crisis that you're in, you've lost your job, your wife. That's just a movie. That just means someone saying to you look, something's waiting for you right on the other side. You're going through a dark tunnel, but there's light at the end of the tunnel. There always will be, and there'll be other dark moments later on too.
Speaker 2:It's like life, right I?
Speaker 1:still go through troubles.
Speaker 3:I'm not like, I'm not enlightened being here. I've got my shit too, so I'm human.
Speaker 2:Anish, thank you for your time, Thank you for your energy, thank you for the hour. Man, you really gave me a lot of things to think about and thank you for being in service. Brother Anish Patel with his amazing book, the Reset Point great gift for Christmas, great gift for the holidays, great gift for just everybody and anybody, any occasion. Great gift, that's for sure. Yes, make that is your next read for the man. Look him up, he's an amazing guy and he does look great on his website. Alrighty brother, thank you. Amazing podcast.
Speaker 3:Thank you, guy, and he does look great on his website. All righty brother, thank you for my amazing podcast. Thank you what?
Speaker 1:if you took action and made it happen and started living inside of your purpose? What if you did? Right now you can make the choice to never listen to that negative voice no more. The hardest prison to escape is our own mind. I was trapped inside that prison all for a long time. What if it did work?