What If It Did Work?
What If It Did Work?
Breaking Free from Financial Limiting Beliefs
Do you ever wonder why some people with modest incomes build substantial wealth while others earning six figures live paycheck to paycheck? The answer lies not in how much money you make, but in your relationship with money itself.
Gino Barbaro, who built a $250 million real estate portfolio comprising over 2,000 multifamily units, reveals the hidden force governing your financial decisions: your "money bio." These are the childhood memories and messages about wealth that subconsciously drive your adult financial behaviors. As Gino shares, "Money doesn't corrupt, it reveals" - amplifying who you already are rather than fundamentally changing you.
Through personal stories, Gino illustrates how his own limiting beliefs formed at age five when his grandmother couldn't afford to buy him toy soldiers, creating a scarcity mindset he carried for decades. This exploration of financial psychology goes beyond conventional advice, challenging listeners to examine their earliest money memories to uncover why they might overspend, undersave, or avoid financial responsibility altogether.
The conversation takes fascinating turns through the history of currency, the psychology of spending for validation, and how societal messages about wealth create unhealthy relationships with money. Most powerfully, Gino introduces the concept of "happy money" - shifting your perspective from viewing expenses as drains to appreciating what they provide, from seeing bills as burdens to recognizing them as evidence of your ability to create comfort and security.
Whether you're struggling with debt or managing investments, this episode provides a framework for understanding how your financial decisions are guided less by mathematics and more by emotional patterns established decades ago. By understanding your money bio, you can begin the journey from working hard for money to making money work hard for you.
Ready to transform your relationship with money? Visit Barbaro360.com to download Gino's free book and start creating your own financial legacy today.
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I never told no one that my whole life I've been holding back.
Speaker 2:Every time I load my gun up so I can shoot for the star, I hear a voice like who do you think, all right, everybody, another day, another dollar, another one of my favorite podcasts, of my favorite show I'm biased, it's my own. What if it did work? I gotta super excited now because we discussed we just got off discussing what we were going to actually talk about Not the same old, same old, but introducing my guest, gino Barbaro. Entrepreneur, he's grown his real estate portfolio to over 2,000 multifamily units and $250 million in assets under management. Gino's partner, jake, teaching others how to do the same thing. Jake and Gino, their premier multifamily real estate education community. To date, their students have closed 68,000 units, $4 billion in deal volume alone. Best-selling author. Not a one books, not two books, three books. Wheelbarrow Profits. The Honeybean Family, food and the Friars. Currently resides in the most haunted city in all of Florida and the oldest city in the United States, st Augustine, florida, with his beautiful wife, julia, and six children. Six kids Must be Catholic, yes.
Speaker 3:And I married an Irish Catholic. So there you go it's Catholic and Irish Catholic, so it's a good blend.
Speaker 2:My father no, definitely, definitely. It's funny because you know it's an old saying, but it's one of those that you know it's an old saying, but it's one of those that you know being catholic, you have to get the joke, or if you're lds, I, I, either one. I, I figured you know italian last name. Yeah, you shoot for the being catholic, so we're. The though is we're not here to talk about, because we already know you're the premier guy when it comes to educating people on investing multifamily, because one thing, though, people need is money right in general, to live. It's a tool.
Speaker 3:Yes, and I love your podcast name. What if it did work? What if gino had six kids? What would happen? I didn't plan out having six kids, it just happened.
Speaker 3:It's one of those things in life where you set a plan, you start doing things and things change. I wanted two kids, that's what I wanted. My wanted more. But then we started having them and I was like this is a lot of fun. This is great. It's hard, it's challenging. But by the third kid I'm like this is not bad, let's start having a couple more.
Speaker 3:And it's almost like buying multifamily, buying apartments. Your first one, it's like what the hell am I doing? I don't know what's going on here. I'm losing money. The second child is like okay, I figured out, there's a process. Our process is buy right, manage right, finance right process of having kids. We've all figured that out, not really hard. But then all of a sudden, you got to father these kids and it's like multi-family, a business. You can have the kid, but you got to take care of the kid.
Speaker 3:Then, for me, by the time I had my third kid, I fell in love. The third kid was was heaven for me. I just looked at her. I'm'm like boy. This, this, this kid just changed my whole life, my paradigm of what, and this is coming from a person who had a limiting belief of how am I going to pay for all these kids? That was my fear. My fear was around money and, and you know, to this day I still have issues and relationships with money that I still challenge, I'm still challenged with. But keep going with the thread. Third kid third property. Fourth kid kid fourth property. Keep growing and you learn. And as I kept having these kids, I just kept enjoying life and you know, to this date, like you said, we have almost 1900 units but, gino, you couldn't stop at three because there's always an odd person.
Speaker 2:The thing is, there's always. You can't have odd, because there's always that you go to disney world, that one kid who's he gonna ride with? We planned on having more kids but we stopped at two, me and my ex-wife just because the second one had like caught like severe colic and she didn't go to sleep until, like she was a year and a half and I mean, I grew up.
Speaker 2:She's an amazing kid uh, 17, turning 18 soon but we would joke with her that she just didn't want to be a middle child, or that if we would have had her first, we would never had her sister well, it's funny I had, I had, that child as number four, the number four child, and right she's the number four child.
Speaker 3:Now is 17 years old and she's just beautiful. But I'd be lying to anybody listening saying that she was an easy child. She was challenging and it's a good thing. It gets, it gives you muscles and, and for us, couldn't leave the house for six weeks. My wife could not leave the house for six weeks. This child through tantrums and it was just. It was. For us, it was a great experience. I, and right after that we hit number five and number five was wonderful.
Speaker 2:So I mean that's and then you couldn't stop at the that's why you had to go for six.
Speaker 3:You're right, that's right that's right kids are.
Speaker 2:Kids are amazing, and I love the topic that we're going to talk about, money, because and when you talk about limiting beliefs, you're limiting beliefs. We all have them engraved with us. We I mean I. I didn't grow up poor, but middle class. My mom always had to work two jobs, being a single parent, but it was never. We can't afford. But whenever people, whenever you hear someone say that, oh, I'll never be able to buy that, that's too expensive, that's a limiting belief that was placed in you is a child I agree.
Speaker 2:Whatever we believe about money those that believe that money is evil, that's a limiting belief. A lot of times we watch movies. Have you ever? Hollywood never paints the billionaire or the millionaire to be a great guy, right? He always wears a monocle, always wants to either take over the world, condemn an apartment building evil greedy might become a decent guy at the end, but more than likely no. You have to do away with him because he's just ultimately bad. And a lot of people think you know they don't see money as a tool, they see money as a changer. It's like you'll become a mega jerk if you have money. But if you're Mother Teresa, it wasn't like if someone gave Mother Teresa, when she was alive, one Catholic to another. So St Teresa of Calcutta. If somebody gave St Teresa of Calcutta when she was alive, $100 billion, it wouldn't have been like from India.
Speaker 2:I'm ruling the world. No, it would have been an from india. I'm ruling the world. No, it would have been an amplifier. She would have given it away, she would have done more.
Speaker 2:And what people don't understand is you need money to have to do amazing things. You need money. You need some form of money to work with gino and his partner, jake, because life is about transactional. It's not like Gino's a great guy. He's got six kids, though, and a wife. It's not like he's running a non-for-profit that I'm like oh hey, Gino, I don't have money. Show me how to just do it for me. Isn't that what everybody? Why can't we just become millionaires? Why can't I just go see this guru? That costs money $10,000. He's there to upsell you the $20,000 program. Why can't we just get the information for free? Live in nirvana utopia. Cats and dogs get along, All Christians get along, we all unite the church, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. You know money is very. I forgot who said this quote. Oh, it was Zig Ziglar. Money isn't, isn't everything, but it's close to it, Right, right up there with breathing.
Speaker 3:Yes. Well, before we get into the topic of money, let me at least define what money is to me and give a little history. I think it's important For sure. First of all, money does not corrupt, it reveals. I truly believe that. I heard that one of my mentors say that to me, and what you said if you're a billionaire and you're a jerk, it's going to reveal you. If you're a billionaire and you're a good person, it's going to reveal you. So always put that in the back of your mind, even you. So always put that in the back of your mind, even for yourself.
Speaker 3:The second point is money to me is a result. Money is the amount of value that you create and money is just a byproduct of that. How do I know that? When I started my restaurant, I had one restaurant. I could only serve X amount of people and I started that restaurant for myself. I started a business to serve myself, which is not what you should be doing when you start a business. You should start a business to provide for the customer, and the more customers you provide and the better you are at it, the more money you make. If people don't realize that or don't understand that, that's where they have problems when they're starting businesses. It's all about them, it's not about you, it's about your customer.
Speaker 3:And the third thing let's go back to where money really started, really like the coin. Back in 600 or 700 BC, the Lydians actually coined money. They started using money and it was a medium of exchange. It was a way to secure payment. It was a way to make the economy move. Then the Athenians, the Greeks, figured it out. Then they started it, they adopted it. Then you go to rome and all of a sudden rome becomes the monetary basic business of trade, with their roads and with their coins and everything's backed by gold and by silver. And once they start debasing the currency, what ends up happening? Governments fall back. In 1940, 19, 1930s, fdr made gold illegal to be able to hold by US citizens. We had to turn in our gold because they wanted to prop up the dollar during the war.
Speaker 3:1971, nixon decides to say no more gold standard. I can continue to print because he was a pig. He needed money to fund the Vietnam War. And since 1971, money has changed to me completely in this country All of a sudden. Not inflation, and inflation is an increase in the supply of money. When you inflate and add money, that's where you get prices rising and your value of your dollar depreciates. You lose money. So if you go back to 1971, I want everyone to Google this because I want everyone to understand we have a fiat currency. We have a piece of paper backed by the faith of the United States government. It's basically saying, hey, I'm going to give you $100, omar, it's backed by the government and you think that $100 is worth something to you? It's really a piece of paper.
Speaker 3:I think those of us who are wealthy and when you're talking about money, have a good relationship with money. We're not working with money for money. We're working to get money and then, for me, I'm just taking that money and I'm buying a hard asset with it, something that I know that will be able to produce more money for me. That's the idea for me for money. So, understanding that and having a base knowledge of what money is, you're going out there, you're earning your money, but you need to make your money work hard for you.
Speaker 3:I made the mistake early on of working hard for my money, which was not a mistake. But the second component is you work hard for your money, but then you have to have your money work hard for you in conjunction, especially now. We're not talking about the 40s and the 50s and the 60s and the 70s. To me, everything started changing in the 90s when the employers all of a sudden said no more, no more lifetime employment. All of a sudden said no more, no more lifetime employment. All of a sudden we've got all these expenses going on and you know that one income couldn't hack it anymore. Things have changed over the last generation and if people don't understand what they're doing with the currency, they're going to continue to make the same mistakes about money.
Speaker 2:Now, gino, when you speak about the one person working, the one breadwinner speaking in tongues, yes, one of the things, don't you think? Possibly we became worried about keeping up with the Joneses. Madison Avenue said we needed the Lexus, we needed to buy our old lady that car on Christmas that she had zero idea. But she runs out of her house and she's like oh my god, thank you for buying this sixty thousand dollar car I. We needed an extra nine hundred dollar payment that's the reality.
Speaker 2:But you know you go from the hero. You know the bows wrapped up. I mean, we, we came from a place that I mean look at social media, we're addicted to it. The dopamine is because, hey, I went to Benihana's. Let me post about it. Well, really, oh, I went to Vegas. Well, really, you went to Caesar's Palace. Nobody else can do that. I can't drop a credit card and just go to the Wynn, but you went there too. It's all about finding significance. A lot of times, though, we do this to ourselves. Do I believe that we can have a one-income? I'd never had the one-income family? My ex-wife and I worked. I probably never dated anybody. That's like hey, omar, why don't you, why don't you support me? But that's probably psychological. But I do believe, though, if we, you can go back, cause you don't have to live in Topeka. I know St Augustine. It's a nice place. I'm here in Fort Lauderdale, miami. Real estate's just as high there, because it's a place that's a nice place.
Speaker 2:You can go to Ripley's, you can see the haunted tours, you can do all that Lovely bed and breakfasts, you can do all that, you know, lovely bed and breakfasts. But most of the time you do need two household incomes if you want to go further, if you want to invest more. But overall, if somebody wanted to live a normal I mean a normal life like the ones that we're about the same age, that we grew up in, that you know we didn't have five flat screen TVs in the house. If we just live normal that you know, you can do that on on one income.
Speaker 3:So there's so many things you've said there. The first thing I need to really pull out of that is what are your values? As you're listening to this, it comes down to values based decision making. To me, it was really valuable for my wife to stay home. Yes, I had one income. I owned a restaurant. I wasn't rich and I didn't go on all these lives vacations. I didn't have the Lambo. I lived a pretty good middle class lifestyle early on when we got married. It didn't have the Lambo. I lived a pretty good middle-class lifestyle early on when we got married. It was important for us to homeschool our kids, so she had to stay home, so we sacrificed. Now the benefit for me was I didn't grow up with cell phones, I didn't grow up with all the luxuries, I didn't grow up with Grubhub, so my income covered my expenses and I had a little leftover. The problem nowadays is we have what we call Parkinson's effect is, when you make a certain amount of money, as your income increases, so do your expenses, and that doesn't have to happen. But let's go back to why that happens. You use the word dopamine.
Speaker 3:It's very important to understand what you're talking about, omar. It's your relationship with money. Go back to your childhood. What are the things that you hear? I've done a lot of work with a lot of people who do what we call a money bio. Go back to your earliest childhood memories, when you're five years old. You're six years old. What are the things that you're hearing? What are the things that you're seeing? Are your parents saying to you well, they're the rich people, they get to buy whatever. And you're a five-year-old and you're saying to yourself, and you can't understand it, but your friends have everything that they want, but you have nothing. So when you get older, you have the ability and you're making money. Well, guess what? That pattern when you were young may come into your adulthood and that feels good to go out and to buy something. And all of a sudden, the dopamine wears off and you've got to do it again. And then you've got to do it again and unconsciously you keep doing this stuff and really think about it. Logically, financial planning is very simple. It's math, it's basic math. So why can't people figure that out? It's because their relationship with money is damaged in one way or the other and they never explore it.
Speaker 3:I love life coaching. I started out as a life coach. The problem with life coaching, I think, is they look in the past a little bit, but they're so focused on yes, 10x, we got to do our goals and do this, whereas a money coach what we do is let's go back into the past, let's review your money bio, let's think of the stories that you had when you were a little kid. For me, my first story I was five years old. With my grandmother we were walking to the A&P grocery store in New York. I remember specifically going into that store. I saw some toy soldiers in that store. I wanted to buy them. Grandma said in Italian tesoro, I don't have the money, we can't afford it. When mom comes we'll come back and we'll buy them. I remember walking out of that store saying we don't have the money, saying that we can't afford it and if I don't get it now, I'm never going to get it. I don't even remember if I went back to that store and got the soldiers. So as a five-year-old boy, bringing that subconsciously into my adulthood, saying that I need to do it now and I don't have enough money.
Speaker 3:My other story which was really important to me as an eight-year-old I remember going to work with my father and I came home, he had the restaurant. He had his restaurant at eight years old. In front of all my relatives, he pulls out $2 and gives me $2. And he's like great job. Today I, at eight years old, made the connection between hard work, money, adulation, reward.
Speaker 3:No wonder why, at 23 years of age, I opened up a restaurant and I worked my ass off for the next 20 years, because that was my money script. That is something that was ingrained in me. So, as you're listening to this, I want you to think of some of those stories when you were younger. And it's hard because we don't want to go back and we don't want to think, because they're uncomfortable, they're unpleasant. There are things that you don't want to think about, but this is what you really got to dive into. And then, all of a sudden and some of you may say I don't remember anything, that may be even worse because you had total avoidance of money, like no one even talked about money.
Speaker 2:Somebody says that, gino, it's because let's bury, yes, it's because let's bury, yes, yes, and let's, let's pretend it never happened. Yes, it's a goodfellas effect, uh, with bats, when they they yes, well, you know, he's not around, who knows so? And you know, obviously, people remembered and you know, you know, they found out what happened and everybody knows what happened. But it's that, that's how we, a lot of people, live their lives when it comes to trauma and all that.
Speaker 2:That's. That's why, hey, how you doing oh, I'm doing okay, you know you can have gangrene it's because we're superficial. Yes, we believe. If we bury it, people that say they don't remember their childhood, or oh, that, that's somebody that avoidance a hundred percent. Hey, man, it wasn't that bad, whatever somebody tells me. I just, I just had your basic childhood fucking huge amounts of trauma.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, well, it's interesting. It's trauma with a little t or trauma with a big t. It's still trauma, no matter which way you slice it.
Speaker 2:Oh, but somebody lying to you man. Yes, oh, I just, it was just normal. What's normal?
Speaker 3:we're talking about money trauma here, though, so you're going into and all these other traumas really work, but it bleeds, yes it bleeds out, man yes, it bleeds out.
Speaker 2:If you're somebody that that chases happiness, believes that money, believes that if you buy this, you know, if you buy this new shiny object or my, maybe my kids will will love me more because I bought them that furby that that's hard to find. This christmas they're gonna build more and they're gonna sell more after christmas and your, your kids, are still gonna love you. But if you have that, the shiny object, this is all love. People will think I'm a schmuck. Neither one of us is Jewish, but we'll use that word. People will think I'm a loser. That's why people go over their head. The reason why you say it's basic math. Yeah, somebody that makes $400,000 a year should be like stocking a shit ton and they should be investing in multiple stuff. But most people, when they make $400,000, they spend $425,000 because they're chasing something. They're chasing happiness or Gino, you want me to drive a normal fucking car? Come on, man. People are going to look at me like, like, what's what's up with me? You know, we, we, we all, all of us, a lot of people. And it's funny because, yeah, the the reason why there's personal development and there's so much gurus. It's common sense, but we pretend it's like G I'm.
Speaker 2:I'm 200 pounds overweight. How did I get there? How did you fucking get there? You ate too much.
Speaker 2:Yeah, gino, you're talking about money, man. I just all these bills. Man, I don't know whether it's because I have Disney Plus and every streaming app and I buy everything under the sun and whenever I get an extension on my credit, oh, I have to spend more. Or, gino, what was I supposed to do? American Airlines said if I spent $5,000 in three months, they'd give me a free airline ticket. I mean, who cares if I'm paying, like thousands of dollars, you're gonna buy first class by the time you're done paying the, you're paying it off. But you know, it's where we and man, I, I have. So I had so much trauma, shit. Yeah, it's the reason why I I bring that up is the way we are with money. It's not only from that, but any sort of trauma. When we have the ostrich in our head in the sand, we're like, oh, don't look over there, nothing's happening, it'll bleed out into everything the person that God stood up for, prom or whatnot. They're overcompensating and it's hard to say, hey, man.
Speaker 2:It's also hard to say, gino, I have a problem with money and I do because to go down to say that, to open up to someone, whether it's a friend or paying for someone, because so many people too, gino, shit, I'll hire you for coaching and we lie, we, we, I. I remember a friend from the gym. She's like oh you, you know, you're great at personal development. You wrote a couple of books and she was talking to me about, you know, needing to get over her ex-husband and start dating. I really don't like that personal development type. But a friend, I'm doing it. And she made up a whole story about this guy that she was dating and whatnot. And if I write my third book, one of the chapters would be the George Glass effect. The George Glass effect Did you ever watch the Brady Bunch?
Speaker 2:There's an episode that Jan pretended she had a cool boyfriend named George Glass, but it was make-believe. I don't remember that one. Yeah, well, she wanted because, you know, middle child, she had no attention, so she made up. A lot of times we tell our coaches yes, wise gino, I'm working on it, you'd be proud of me. I need to throw down the credit card to buy all those drinks, you know, because that's what you want to hear and I don't want to disappoint you yes, well, you said something very important the word vulnerable.
Speaker 3:I think if we can't be vulnerable with ourselves or with our mates, it's really hard to make a connection. You're talking, we're talking about the money bio. This is what I want people to do, though, as we're doing this for ourselves. If you're married, if you're dating your partner, spouse, have them do one, because most people in their relationships they argue a lot about money. And for myself and my wife, we grew up with totally different backgrounds. Single mom my wife was a single mom. Mom worked two jobs. She really didn't know anything about money. She was fearful about money. Her what we call money archetype was the innocent Me. On the other other hand, two Italian immigrant parents save, save, save, save for a rainy day don't know why it's a sunny day, but always save for a rainy day. Be fearful.
Speaker 3:And I was a little bit more of a tyrant with money. I was very controlling, very fearful. You put those two together. All of a sudden, she wants to spend money and I'm arguing that we have to save for our kids, and that's a a recipe for disaster, and there's no conversation. If I had these tools as I was younger, I'd have been like okay, we can go to Whole Foods. I don't mind spending four bucks for a muffin because I know it's organic, I know it's healthy, I know you love it, it's part of our values. But instead we fight about that. But now I'm like why are you being cheap? Why don't we spend the money? And I'm coming from the point of well, I have six kids, I've got to. All I've been hearing is I've got to send them to college, I've got all these weddings, I've got to put away money for retirement. I can't waste money. And that's when we start having conversations.
Speaker 3:So, as you're doing this, do it with your spouse, you know. Have the conversations with your wife and say wow, how did you grow up about money? What did you hear about money? What beliefs did you have? And then you'll start seeing the arguments really aren't about money. It's more about the symptoms. Money is just a symptom of what's going on. There's fear, there's control, there's being a martyr wanting to help other people. There's so there's being a martyr wanting to help other people. There's so many things that are going on in that dynamic that once you start understanding, you're like, wow, okay. And then obviously, to me it's about happy money, it's about the way you can figure out what you're here to do right and what kind of money you want to attract.
Speaker 3:When I was at the restaurant, I always said I was there and I was making unhappy money. By the time I left. I was just doing a job that I hated. And there's people out there that are doing that right now A lot of people because they think they're trapped, they think they need to pay the bills in this job and all it does is just perpetuate these beliefs in our minds and continue to go down that road. And for me, happy money is doing what you're doing right now on a podcast. What we're doing, just shooting a breeze, having fun. We're engaged engaged. We're doing what we're supposed to be doing. We're doing our sole purpose and the energy that we attract from it is happy money. Money doesn't make you happy, but what you're doing for your job is what's making you happy well, people also don't have faith in themselves.
Speaker 2:Man, okay, you're making a lot of money doing this, but you fucking hate it. Yeah, you don't have enough faith in yourself that you can find your passion, that you're good at, and create money. That's at that scarcity mindset don't they'll have it with money.
Speaker 2:They're like I can't, I, I, I can't. This is the only way I I was an entrepreneur for for 20 years owned qs, qsrs, smoothie Kings. I felt like that was it. I could never make money doing anything. This was it. And you lied to yourself and it was like I'm fucking highly educated, I'm smart, I could have fucking done anything else. I could have done insurance. And you hold things. You hold on to fear. You also hold on to a title. Oh my gosh, if. If it's not this, then what? Use your imagination. There's people every day that come up with something brand new that we didn't think we needed. But but yeah, it's you. We create our own prison so what?
Speaker 3:what do you think, omar? What story were you telling yourself, now that you realize that you could have done anything, when you were in that moment? Stuck in the moment, stuck in the catabolic energy, stuck in the fear, stuck in the uncertainty? What made you think, what pattern or what belief for your childhood or from young early adulthood?
Speaker 2:Oh man, I had so many limiting beliefs as a kid that I lied to myself thinking, because I did personal development seminars, because I walked on fire, because I graduated from the Anthony Robbins Mastery University by doing all these programs, that I'd tenached and I've done, I did everything that you know those limiting beliefs aren't there, but they're there. I did those because to try to find happiness, who am I? I came from a single parent. I felt. If my own father didn't want me, my mom and dad got divorced who would want me? So it was always that that, or I don't want to disappoint and it's, or I need this.
Speaker 2:Everybody overcompensated with my family, because, you know, I was the oldest grandchild or I had these aunts and uncles, you know Hispanics and you know nobody. It was always let's buy more, because it was always the way affection to show happiness is. Let's buy stuff for this person. If a girlfriend dumped me, well, clearly we need to buy him a new car. I mean I remember in college a chick who I mean I've got two daughters but if my son dated, I'd be like what the fuck are you doing? Fuck her man, holy shit. But you know from watching all those eighties movies and you know I was heartbroken. My mom decided you know, hey, he needs the new, the new, the new style. The mustang came out.
Speaker 3:That would make omar happy and it would show that he's loved, so that that's a strong pattern, omar, don't you think like if you about it like everyone's listening to this, people are like, wow, it's not the thing you're buying, it's what that thing is supposed to be bringing. And you're linking, you're making it obvious right now, but most people can't make that link. You're linking pleasure and you're linking significance to that. And one thing that you're doing, that most of us do this, is like the human condition you're not giving yourself enough compassion. There's a little bit of self-loathing there, there's a little bit of um thinking that you're not enough as a child and you bring we all bring that into our adulthood.
Speaker 3:I have met people that don't have these issues. It's just that some of us are really good at masking it oh, oh, completely.
Speaker 2:We're magicians. Yes, Slide a hand. We want you to look up here.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because we don't want you to know what's really going on.
Speaker 3:But true happiness is not that. That's the thing. True happiness is not making more money. True happiness is being able to say hey, I have issues, I've been working on them. I do hate myself sometimes Not hate, but I mean, I do have issues with myself. I do need to be more compassionate with myself. I do get angry. If you ask people, are you angry? You get angry on a scale of one to 10. Ask somebody the next time, guarantee you they'll say nope. Two to three.
Speaker 2:Oh really. You're a two or three.
Speaker 3:Okay, and then you start having these conversations and then you say what triggers you? Bring up anybody, let's bring up Trump. All of a sudden, the anger starts popping out. It's not Trump that's making you angry, it's yourself, it's your triggering, it's your thoughts, it's your beliefs. And that's the thing. That's the thing I think people don't understand, and to me it's very, very interesting.
Speaker 3:Once I started doing a lot of this work. It's hard to do the work, or more, but it's a lot harder not to do the work, because you get to be a certain age and you're like what's, what's going on? Things ain't working. I should be happy by now. I'm driving the lambo, I've got a nice car, I've got a good family. What? Why am I not happy? You're not happy because you have issues that you haven't resolved, you haven't been able to heal these, these things that have gone on in your life. And you're masking all this stuff with trying to make more money and trying to look more successful when, ultimately, I think it really comes with. I think happiness comes from within. Oh, 100%.
Speaker 2:I had to hit rock bottom to realize that I had to get a divorce because my wife wasn't making me happy. That's no one's job. Happiness is an inside job. Brother, that's a choice, that's a decision. You wake up every day with that opportunity. Yeah, I wake up every day and I'm thankful, man, these days, before you know I was making we were married 400, $500,000 a year clearing and it wasn't enough. It wasn't happiness.
Speaker 2:Maybe if, then, maybe if I open up another location, maybe if I buy another hundred and something thousand dollar car, maybe taking another trip to Europe, happiness would have been just so simple. Just, holy shit, I'm alive, man. You know, I, I've seen, I've done so much, I've helped out a lot of people and it was like if then, and it got up to the point, well, maybe, maybe if I dated somebody from my past, or, and it was cause you always. And it's when you hit rock bottom, in the sense that you're like there's no seminar that you need to take, you don't need to walk on fire, you don't need to do the 10x symbol, all the validation you need. You wake up and you go holy smokes. I did a lot, I've done a lot and I'm going to do a lot and I'm happy.
Speaker 2:If you realize that you're happy, you can miss those seminars, you can miss everything. You know you, you miss the IPO, it's like that. That person, oh my God, I, I didn't invest in Apple when it was $2. Well, a lot of people didn't move on, brother, there's investments, you know, oh, I didn't, I didn't buy real estate 30 years ago. Well, the second, like what warren buffett says, the second best time to do anything's right now.
Speaker 3:So do it omar, you're talking about gratitude, something that I think people if they start adopting, it's really hard to be grateful in life because you don't really think about it.
Speaker 3:We have a lot of us have first world problems and I, I think something that I think I want to work on a lot is when I'm getting down. I'm a little depressed, I'm a little, you know, right now I'm not as active as I was. I sold all my businesses, I've got a downtime, I'm making more money than I ever have, but I'm losing my, my inner self, my worth, because that's where, like I said, the hard work, that was my pattern. So I'm getting a little bored. So when I do that, I think what really helps me out is to focus on helping out other people. Don't dwell on myself and on my problems.
Speaker 3:You know Omar, Omar's having a tough time. Omar is going to go out and help somebody, omar is going to go coach somebody and then all of a sudden you're helping somebody, your mind is off, your out, and that's really helped me out the last several months. You know, like I said, sold the business, the education, and now all of a sudden I've got free time. Haven't had free time in my life. I've always been busy, I've always been producing, and that's a pattern and I get anxious. Sometimes I'm like, well, what's the next thing? What do I need to do? Just be present, like you said, be grateful for what you have and really don't focus just on yourself and look to look to see what's going on in the world. We've got it pretty good in this country.
Speaker 2:We really well. Think of Gino. You have six children.
Speaker 2:They're healthy yes you know, anybody wants to. Real issues is, I mean, watch, like those Ronald McDonald House commercials, and here people are fucking upset because they don't have a new Tesla, or they missed the pool party at Vegas, or they didn't buy whatever, I mean shit. There's someone out there right now with a kid that's like you know, might not even see Christmas, and here you are, you know, complaining, and that's why, to me heck, if you're feeling down, man, just just think about you and I, we have we. I we have internet. Man, it's not dial-up, you're not frozen, I'm not frozen. We both live in South Florida. We both live in Florida. We have AC. Could you imagine no AC? We neglect things that a lot of the world just running water, man Clean water.
Speaker 3:What you're talking about right now to me is happy money, and you're shifting your paradigm. You're shifting your thinking. I used to think that electricity was an expense. Now I look at it and I go, thank God, I have it. I actually have the money to pay for that expense, so that's happy money. I've got a pool outside. Just spend 1500 bucks to change the little pop-up heads. I looked at it years ago I was like, damn, I got to spend 1500 bucks. Now I'm like it's okay, I'm enjoying the pool, I can afford it, it's happy money. So it's exactly what you're talking about. Just changing the frame of reference and the way you look at things, you get the opportunity.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, we live in Florida in the summer. Can you imagine if there was holes with all the rain?
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 2:Exactly, I mean, even if people change the little shift about money hey.
Speaker 2:I get to invest, I get to save, I get the opportunity of working, I get the opportunity of owning my own business. I get to not I have to so many people. Oh my gosh, I have to lose weight. No, you don't you. You can keep on eating until you friggin drop dead. But if you change that and I get the uh, I get the opportunity, I get the chance of losing that weight. So I I can be at my, at my daughter's wedding, I can be there for my grandchildren. Just a little shift on anything. Happy money too, man.
Speaker 2:A lot of times people are scared it's their last dollar, it's their last chance. And a lot of people stay in the sidelines because they listen to an Eminem song saying you only have one shot. What is this? Even in boxing, you have more than one shot. You get knocked out. Just come back, man. There's always the rematch. But everybody has this. Everybody loves the David and Goliath story, but they don't understand that they can be it. We can be our own heroes. We are the masters of our life. We're the masters of our life. We're the creator of our destiny. We are the writers. But what are you doing, man? You're living on the side, you're living. You're not living because you're not living in your dash. Everybody thinks that, but you're frigging dead. If you're sitting there waiting for your one shot, or you're waiting for someone to save you, or you're waiting for Gino to say hey, man, teach me about that, just give me all the lessons. I need you to save me. Gino, I'm poor. No, you're not, you have poor mentality yes.
Speaker 3:Nobody's poor. Your decisions are poor. I love that. The poor, the middle class and the wealthy mindset. It doesn't matter how much you're making, as you've said. I know people making seven figures, living paycheck to paycheck.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, you can make $450,000 in being dead, in being dead, yeah. So it's not the money you're making, it's the decisions you're making and once again, it's those money, beliefs, the money bios and the patterns. And I think if you can sit back and start analyzing that and start taking to heart what that looks like, and first you have to want to change, you have to be aware of it, and then you have to actually own responsibility and say I've got to this point in my life because of all the actions that have preceded this specific point, and that's what happened to me in 2008. I read T Harv Eker's book Secrets of the Millionaire Mind. I thought he was a jerk and then I'm like. I read it again, I'm like he's absolutely right your fruits are in your roots. Roots weren't strong enough, they were really shallow, hence I had no fruits.
Speaker 3:I had to take responsibility. I had to work on some skills and some values and some you know to learn how to invest in real estate, get the mentorship. And then, all of a sudden, one day, luck shone upon me. I met my business partner, jake. I could have met Jake, but if I didn't know how to invest in real estate, that would have been a fruitless relationship, but I planted the seed and I think people need to understand that if you're a victim, it is the hardest person in the world to coach and you are just telling yourself the narrative that well, it was me. And you're stuck in that pattern. You don't want to take any responsibility and nobody can help you Nobody. You like feeling that way. It's a feeling of because other people feel sorry help you. Nobody you like feeling that way. It's a feeling of because other people feel sorry for you, and I had a little bit of that early on in 07.
Speaker 3:I'm blaming Bush, I'm blaming Obama, I'm blaming the economy, but then I'm like there are people making millions of dollars out there. What are they doing that I'm not? That was a light bulb for me the T Harv Ecker book and the understanding that there are people out there that are making a ton of money and I'm not. What are they doing? Then, all of a sudden, the responsibility kicked in and I'm like, okay, I need to learn this stuff, I need to learn what's going on, I need to learn how to make money and how to create value, and that, to me, changed. And if you're at that point in life, just take a look out. There's so much information out there, there's so much knowledge out there. There's so many people, some books, that I would start with start with napoleon hill. Think and grow rich easy, but that's a hundred years later?
Speaker 3:yeah, that's that book is where all the gurus rip from. I mean, like it's, you know, a lot of these people are just taking information and recirculating, which is great. That guy I think zig ziglar, you'd mentioned, he's one of my favorite j Jim Rohn. Jim Rohn, listen to him the other day. Philosophy, just Google. Jim Rohn. Philosophy and Google, jim Rohn five people.
Speaker 3:If you don't run the day, the day runs you. That's right, he is incredible. That dude was unbelievable. The way he could speak, the way he could articulate and the way he was just Tony Robbins. Yeah, the way he could speak, the way he could articulate and the way he was just huge Tony Robbins.
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah, the humility, yeah, yeah, exactly, yes, and I think guys like that, they really worked on themselves and then, just like what we were talking about earlier, when oh that bent and twisted over Trump and it works. It works both ways both ways sides man, yeah, like what you're saying bush or obama people. If you want to blame or if you have your hopes up on any politician you are, you're the economy.
Speaker 2:You are the creator of your own economy yes okay person that was blaming four years of old man, joe you're. You're already 130 days into a new administration. It's like you're 50 years old. You're bipartisan. You sucked both under the Democrats and under the Republicans and those that live and breathe for that. Unless you're a lobbyist or unless you're angling for a job in the cabinet or you want that ambassadorship because you want to be the ambassador of Columbia or the ambassador somewhere, it doesn't matter. That's why when people, oh, did you see what the president did? I haven't seen what the president has really done in the past 20 years because it has zero bearing on me.
Speaker 2:I create my own luck, just like how you create your own happiness. You want to work so hard on a consistent basis that people like man, he was born wealthy or he's so lucky. And I know people they didn't see the abcd with you, they didn't see you when you were an entrepreneur and you were in the restaurant business, in the food industry. People just see the finished product. Now they're like oh man, do you know his family's lucky? Like was he lucky? Or was like howard Schultz lucky, billionaire with Starbucks? Or did maybe he believe in himself? And we don't like hearing because it's always easier to when you say luck, because it's hard, because it's a direct attack on myself, on yourself when you've done absolutely nothing in your life.
Speaker 2:Because if you're like, no, he worked extremely hard on a consistent basis. He didn't blame others, he was his own economy, he worked hard from day one and you're like, oh fuck, that's why people will always try to bring you down, because it hurts some people that you grew up with or what they're like, oh my God, oh man, it sucks. Gino had the, had the courage, had the balls to go out and do that and it, it, it hurts the soul.
Speaker 3:It's self-sabotage is big. I mean like, if you're if you don't think you're worthy of it, it's again when you're young and you're worthy of it it's again when you're young and the people that you're around. So if you're around. I was having a conversation with a guy named Dr Brad Klontz. He wrote a book called Start Thinking Rich. He's a financial psychologist and he laid it out really nicely to me. As far as making money Evolution, we're in tribes, small tribes, and even now, if you're in a tribe and you're hanging out with 20, 30, 50, 100 people, what are they like? I mean, are they middle class, are they lower middle class, or are they hedge fund owners, or what is it? If you want to break away from that, it's very hard because you know subconsciously you leave the tribe. It's death years ago.
Speaker 2:It's death, man, because you're by yourself. You need that.
Speaker 3:Yes, so, vibe, it's death years ago. It's death, man, because you're by yourself. You need, yes, yes. So just check and see who you're around. I'm not saying, go leave the people that you're at, but if you do want to make money, you do want to become an entrepreneur, you need to find those people. I was at the restaurant.
Speaker 3:The thing that drove me the most bat shit crazy at the restaurant was the people that worked there. I love the people, but I'm not drama. I'm not into like all the gossip. I wanted to have higher level conversations. I wanted to talk to intelligent people. I wanted to build and solve problems and make money. I was in the wrong room. That was not the room that I was supposed to be in and that was one of the things that was really killing me when I was there.
Speaker 3:When I met Jake and I started doing podcasts with Jake and writing books and doing deals. It wasn't about the real estate or the money. It was about the place that I wanted to be. The juice, the action. That's what I really crave, that's what I really wanted, and I wasn't getting it from this place and that's what was making me unhappy at the restaurant more than anything else I wasn't living my sole purpose. Once I understood I needed to leave that tribe. How do I do that? And it doesn't have to happen overnight. I worked towards it. It took me a good five or six years, after I started doing deals with Jake, that I was able to leave the restaurant and go into real estate full-time. But not understanding that and just being mad at it and being a victim is not going to help you out.
Speaker 2:But you had the courage to. You had courage and you had the belief. You also well, we're both Catholic you had the belief that God made you in his image not to be mediocre, not just to have the crumbs of success or the crumbs of love or of life, or just to struggle, problems of love or of life or just a struggle. You were created for greatness and you had that belief in you, that man, everything's possible. You did go out and you did. And it's uncomfortable, man, when you, when you're hanging out with people that are a lot of times let's just hang out with the people we grew up with 40 years ago, because it's comfortable, you know everybody, you're not going to look like a fool, you're not going to say anything stupid and if you do, they're just going to bust balls. And it's always great to hang out when you know you're the most successful person.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:But to be in a room that you're like, oh my, am I the poorest person here, or am I the dumbest? It takes guts to be in there because you're so used to your element.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:That you walk around like you're Hugh Hefner, because it's comfort, and comfort kills more dreams, and kills more than corona, than any pandemic ever has. Because people love that comfort. That's why people people are their own prisoners. They create their own prisons with comfort.
Speaker 2:I can't you know what if I stay? If I stay here another two, three years, gino'm going to have an extra day off. That's amazing. Yeah, one day they might make me partner. If I stay here another 10 years, I might get a 4% raise every year. Yeah, that's called inflation. But congratulations, we all have people create. I can't do that. Think about it After 20 years of owning a restaurant, you pivoted, dude most, and I'm sure a lot of people are like Gina. What movie did you watch? What book did you read? Did you join a cult or something?
Speaker 3:Are you insane? Well, I got to answer that one. There's a couple of reasons why. Number one you brought faith in One of the seven deadly sins is sloth right. So I was hiding in the kitchen in the restaurant washing dishes, and I said to myself I was born in the United States of America. I had two great parents. I'm not a dumb guy. What the hell am I doing? I am committing a sin by not living up to what I think I should be living up to. So I felt it upon myself that I needed to do better, and if you're listening to this, you should be thinking that yourself. You are meant to be doing something better than hiding in the kitchen washing dishes. That's number one. Number two for me was I was moving away from pain, and that's what Tony Robbins talks about. Now I'm moving towards pleasure.
Speaker 3:But in the beginning you're either really uncomfortable and pissed off or you're really light up and you're doing great. If you're caught in that gray area, you're not going to change, and that's what ends up happening. I got to the point that I got fed up. I got to the point that I didn't want to work harder and make less. I didn't want to work on Christmas Eve anymore. I didn't want to work every weekend. I had things that were not aligned with my values at the time. Early on they did, but as I got older and had family, I didn't want to work on the holidays or the weekends anymore, so I had to figure something out and from that pressure, pressure makes diamonds, and that's what ended up happening. It's not that complicated.
Speaker 3:So if you're out there and you're struggling, think about what you want to do, not what you don't want to do, because I used to say to myself I don't want to be here at the restaurant, great, that's not what you're focusing on. What is it that you want to do? And when I got clarity on that and I'm like, yeah, I want to build a little portfolio. I want to build a little family business within this company and build it up and be able to sustain it and really have people who work in the organization, who want to come to work in this organization. I want to build a culture that people really thrive in, and once I became clear on that, that's what I started working on. So, as you're listening to this, think about what you want. Think about what that looks like in your life.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and the one thing that pain the greatest teacher is pain. You become a way better investor when you lose money. Because, anybody can paper trade. We can all open up Fidelity paper trade. I could open we could all open up fidelity paper trade stocks. And you know it's like that fake, you know, when you download the app and you're like in the casino and you're double downing on 20 and you're splitting face cards and all it's not real.
Speaker 2:But the biggest lesson is when pain and that you you got to the point where you're like I can't do this anymore. When you realize that something new is going to be a lot less painful than being stuck. That's a real motive, that's 100% motivation. That's when you'll get off your ass and you'll do anything. Yes, that's when I'll be like Gino, it's not working. Yes, I made $100,000, when I'll be like you know it's not working. Yes, I made a hundred thousand but I spent 120,000.
Speaker 2:I need I need to scratch the record, change the focus, because everything that I focus on and everything that I believe about money, it's not working, it's not real. And people love to hear the stories. You know, when we're all that, you, that guy, worked, the janitor, he died and he left such and such $4 million, $5 million. How did that happen? Well, because his, his belief on money and his way of investing is quite different than the guy. Different than the guy. Because you know you're thinking, the guy that makes 400 000, well, my gosh, he must, he must be an accredited investor, he must be having investments left and right. Then he dies, bellies up and you know he's five million in debt. And people are shocked at that. Just the same way, they have that knee-jerk reaction. We all read about it and we're like well, was the janitor lucky? Was he stealing money? No, he knew how to invest. He didn't need a new, brand new shiny object every two seconds.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 2:Gino, I could talk to you for hours and hours, but I could your. Your time is limited. We're great minds. Great minds think alike. Great energy attracts same energy and that's why we're riffing. You would think we're two guys that have known each other for like 20 years. You know, just give us a couple beers and cigars and just shoot the shit. But I know you're a busy man Shit. You have six kids, man. So there's before we go, how do people find you? Multiple ways. I know the investment with you and Jake is you're teaching people how to change their lives. How do they find you two? How do they change their perspective on money?
Speaker 2:They need that first because they're not going to invest with Jake and Gino.
Speaker 3:We have a website with the family. It's called Barbaro360. B-a-r-b-a-r-o-360.com. Go on there. You can download the book. Happy Money, happy Family, happy Legacy. It's a PDF copy. You can download it, start reading it and if you have any questions, just email me. Gino at Jake and Ginocom. It's a great book.
Speaker 3:Just to start thinking about money in different ways and, if you have some money, think about money in terms of legacy. What do you want to leave your family? Not only in terms of a financial legacy, but your values Stuff that we're doing right now. My kids can listen to these recordings 30, 40 years from now and hear me and listen to me, and these values that we're talking about permeate through YouTube and they're going to be like wow, grandpa used to think that way. I want to leave these healthy patterns for my legacy, as part of what my children, my grandchildren, hear. You're listening to this right now. What do you want your legacy to look like? It's important. Start with the end in mind and that will you know. Do you want that extra day off? Do you want that extra 4% raise? There's nothing wrong with that, but is that the legacy you want to leave?
Speaker 2:And that's what I challenge you with Make sure you understand what you want your legacy to be. Gino, I've got a final question for you. What do you say to the person I'll play that role? I just feel like I'm running in a hamster wheel, Gino. I keep on making more and more money, but it just feels like I'm digging a deeper and deeper hole. I just woke up the other day and I'm $60,000, $70,000 in debt. I try to pay it down, but I keep on making more and more money. I just don't feel like I have what it takes to invest or do much of anything.
Speaker 3:How much time you got, brother. We got to figure that out. And what I would love to say is where we spend our money. And when you're making this money, where's that money going? I mean, that's the reality. And then the patterns Are you spending the money? Do you mean that's the reality? And then the patterns Are you spending the money? Do you feel better when you spend it? And then, when you spend it, you keep spending it. Do you understand why you're buying something? That's a great conversation to have with somebody. Let's throw them a money. Bio.
Speaker 3:Let's start working on your past and figuring out what happened when you were a child and why, all of a sudden, are you stuck in this? I'll'll mention dave ramsey. I think dave ramsey has a lot of merit to what he says. Now I I just have a pushback saying let's rip up the credit cards, let's not spend any more money, let's not do that. Let's find out why you have to rip them up. So if you can stop, you can stop the habits and the behaviors of why and confront those patterns. You don't have to rip up the credit cards because you can use them and you can enjoy them Instead of trying to take something away. Understand why it's a pattern or behavior that's really bad, that you're doing.
Speaker 3:Figure out why you're doing it and then say to yourself okay, I want to change this. That's more empowering, right? I'm making more and more money. Why am I spending more and more money? Why am I on that hamster wheel? How do I get off that hamster wheel? That's the question you should be asking and saying well, gino did it. How did Gino do it? Let me talk about how I did it. I'll share with you my story on how I did it. It wasn't easy. It's pretty simple. What will they say? It's pretty simple, but it's pretty easy, but pretty simple. But it's not an easy thing to do and I think people need to have that pain, like you said earlier. You said it so well. Once you have that visceral pain, you want change. That's when you're open to these ideas.
Speaker 2:Amen, brother. Thank you for the time, thank you for the hour. Do you know, barbara and Barbara three 60.com download the book. He's giving you a PDF copy of the book for free. Read it. Admit you have a problem, be open, be vulnerable and follow Gino and before you know it, you'll be investing with Jake and Gino and you'll be a rock star. You're already a rock star. God created only rock stars. All right brother. Thank you for the time. Enjoy the rest of the night with the fam.
Speaker 1:Thanks, omar more. The hardest prison to escape is our own mind. I was trapped inside that prison all for a long time. To make it happen you gotta take action. Just imagine what if it did work.