What If It Did Work?
What If It Did Work?
From Faith to Business: Transformative Leadership with Karen Holliday
What happens when we strip away the labels that divide us and start genuinely seeing each other? Karen Holliday, transformational leader and faith-based business consultant, joins us for a soul-stirring conversation about authentic connection in an increasingly fragmented world.
Karen's journey begins with profound loss—her father's death when she was seven, followed by her mother's necessary absence as she worked to support the family. Left to essentially raise themselves, Karen and her brothers navigated childhood without parental guidance. This early adversity could have hardened her heart, but instead became the foundation for her remarkable capacity to connect with others across differences.
The conversation explores the strange contradiction in human nature: we celebrate underdog stories and triumph over adversity in our entertainment, yet desperately avoid challenges in our own lives. Karen brings wisdom from her experience moving to Salt Lake City, where as a non-LDS person in a predominantly Mormon community, she chose understanding over judgment. Rather than remaining defensive about differences, she created bridges by genuinely seeking to understand others' worlds—a practice she now teaches clients facing personal and professional barriers.
Some of the most moving moments come when Karen discusses family reconciliation. After decades of estrangement, she approached her mother with courage and boundaries: "I don't think you were a good mother at all... but I would like my children to have a grandmother." This brave conversation led to fifteen years of beautiful friendship before her mother's passing—a powerful testament to the healing possibilities when we choose connection over resentment.
Whether you're facing professional challenges, personal roadblocks, or simply feeling disconnected in today's divided culture, Karen's approach offers a refreshingly simple starting point: "What does tomorrow look like for you?" This question pulls us out of today's pain and opens doors to possibility thinking—sometimes exactly what we need when hope seems lost.
Ready to break down the walls in your life? Visit Karen at NIAK Consulting (Not Your Average Karen) and watch her TEDx talk for more insights on transformation through authentic connection.
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I never told no one that my whole life I've been holding back. Every time I load my gun up so I can shoot for the star, I hear a voice like who do you think you are right?
Speaker 2:everybody. Another day, another dollar, another one of my favorite podcasts, episodes of my podcast, because I'm biased. What if it did work with me? I? I can't wait to have a conversation with her. She's a fellow TEDx speaker and she's much more Karen Holliday. Karen Holliday is a transformational leader, faith-based business consultant and inspirational speaker whose mission is to help others rise above adversity with courage, authenticity and strategy. A former COO that would be Chief Operating Officer, Karen has used her own personal journey from health struggles and burnout to holistic transformation to empower others to take command of their lives and well-being. Her work merges business insight, health advocacy and faith-forward leadership. Can't wait to discuss that, Inspiring audiences to take ownership of their personal and professional growth through purpose-driven action. How's it going?
Speaker 3:Going great. How about you?
Speaker 2:I'm doing great. You know it's funny because I know you, you, you did your tedx talk, which I did. Everybody needs to watch it. That I, I loved it. I was a little envious because you, yours was a little longer you know, but I guess they say size, size doesn't matter in that aspect.
Speaker 2:But it's crazy. I mean, you've watched a bunch, right I have. What people don't understand is to come out on top. You have to have some adversity, yes, but why is it? We all love it. Everybody loves the david and goliath story from the bible. People love the People, love the Rocky People love the little guy. To come out on top, everybody checks out. They love the story the winter, you know, coming out of nowhere. But yet they can't see it in themselves. They don't want any adversity. It's like they dip their pool. They're telling the fool they're like.
Speaker 2:Oh well, it's not heated. I can't do that, maybe when I'm prepared, maybe and it's like, or they just say well, you know, I see everything at Karen. You know, I'm looking at her LinkedIn page and I'm looking at her social media. Man, Karen, you are so lucky. You were born lucky, weren't you?
Speaker 3:I get that a lot actually. Exactly right, I get that a lot yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean it's funny too, because I mean, four years there's not anybody that I've interviewed and I even have to look at your TEDx to know that you've overcome challenges. I mean you know you didn't have the perfect childhood. I mean heck, you're a grown up and you friggin move to a place that people go for winter to go skiing and snowboarding, but outside of that, I mean heck, I know you felt like an outsider there. Absolutely yes.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, Because, as Christians, all of us this is the weirdest thing about Christians Like Jews, they're like, hey, he's a Jew, but us it's all about denominations.
Speaker 3:It's like oh, that guy's a.
Speaker 2:Methodist, or that guy's a baptist. He doesn't go to my church. You know, even though we pray to this, we all have the everything down packed. We just and it comes back to your tedx talk, we, we all have this, all these divisions amongst ourselves yes, yeah, it's kind of sad.
Speaker 3:The division part is what's sad to me. Right, that's to me. We're all humans. Right, we're all. We're all human. So that's that's how I view people well, exactly, and it's.
Speaker 2:It's like your talk comes at a time where I mean growing up, we're about the same age. Nobody, ever I mean people lose their friendships of 20, 30, 40 years based on a political candidate or based on based on something that your, your friend or your person who has a different experience growing up couldn't agree more yeah, clearly I. I love this because I love all those libtards. I'm from oklahoma I'm from kansas and the other.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, those magas, those mom, and it's like look at the size of our country. What makes it amazing is we're all different, we all speak different, we all look different, but yet we want, we tear over, and before, yeah, it wasn't that big of a deal, but now I'm divorced. So years ago I had to go back into the dating pool and there would be like oh, I can't date someone that voted for you know this or that and I was thinking.
Speaker 2:I'm like you know, back in college I never remembered a time that was like are you voting for HW or are you voting for Bill Clinton?
Speaker 3:Yeah, like that's a no go for me.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 3:Right right. But, that's, that's the way.
Speaker 2:And it's funny because I I'm all about communication and what your TEDx talk. We can't connect with someone from a place of judgment. We have to try to understand their world.
Speaker 3:Every day.
Speaker 2:Yes, and it's like you grew up in a place where you know everybody looked the same, everybody spoke the same, everybody had the same denomination, and that happens a lot Rural areas and whatnot, and that's that's where that oh my gosh Right Everybody else is different. They're evil.
Speaker 3:Right. And I think, at that point, right, you have a choice. You know, I think we all, we all are raised in a certain environment, we all have a certain set of I don't know boundaries or rules that were raised by, and I think that's OK because that's your world Right. But I think when you get older and you're exposed to other things, that's when you decide. I think that's when you have a choice, and I think, for me, that was my choice.
Speaker 3:When I saw other things, I mean, my eyes were like, well, there must be other people that think the way I think, like this is awesome. Like you know, these people not, they're not all the same. They offer different things, they're. They have different personalities, different thought processes, different, you know, different mindsets. This is exciting to me. I want to, I wanted to learn more. I was, like you know, grabbing a hold of every bit of knowledge I could get, and that was really the basis of me, just my whole life. I just wanted, wanted that, and if I couldn't get it here, I was going here to get it in, here and here and here, and I couldn't get enough of it. To me, it did not matter at all about any of the external factors, even your, your political belief, your religious belief, anything did not matter to me. It is what you offered, as a human, to the table. What you brought to the table was what mattered to me and how we could connect based on that.
Speaker 2:Well, people don't understand. That's just a label, that's not who you are.
Speaker 3:You're not a Democrat, you're not a.
Speaker 2:Republican, you're not conservative, you're not conservative. And people cling to all these different labels because I don't know whether they try to find significance or but it's belief is. I doubt very seriously. Jesus Christ, or whomever someone believes in, is like. I checked out your voting records here and you know it's spotty Right. You know and it's funny because you hear people I vote the way Jesus would vote and I'm like I don't know what Bible you've been reading, but the man was like the most, the complete opposite. I mean, he never once visited Julius Caesar, he was never in Rome. So why is he political? You know, 2000 years later, you know he's, he's coming back.
Speaker 2:You know, running on any platform, but it's funny because, at the end of the day, on any platform. But it's funny because, at the end of the day, we want to be accepted and you are a coach. So in any business aspect, if you want to sell, if you want to be bigger, in any aspect personal, business, financial you have to expand your vision. You can't be closed off. Imagine if disney world's like okay, well, since they say we're woke, we just want 50 of the money right. Or apple's like hey, yeah, they say we're woke, so no, you know it's we as a business owner, because for 20 years people would always ask me well, why don't I post political or white One?
Speaker 2:I've never been political because I judge you. I'll be friends with you, karen, because you're an amazing person, you, your husband, your children. I want to get to know you because of who you are, not because of what you can offer. It not to the power to reciprocate like, oh well, maybe Karen can open doors, but that's how people act and it's like no, that's not. If you want everybody not everybody's going to love you, but you're going to have to try different things. You're going to have to try. Why are you going to upset people by posting nonstop? Hey, I'm a business owner, but guess what? Libtards?
Speaker 2:Or I'm a business owner, ah, you know you, you MAGA wearing and it's it's insane. I'm sure you, being a coach, you're seeing some. It's like common sense, but it's like sometimes people need a wake up call when it comes to common sense.
Speaker 3:Well, and I also think you know having an opinion is is actually okay we all have them but being closed off to your opinion, it's not okay. That's what you're talking about. It's like saying, hey, I'm a business owner, I'm going to post these things, but as soon as I post them, I've immediately closed myself off to someone else's opinion. I've either created an environment where I'm going to be, you know, bashed with someone else's opinion, or I've closed all these other people off who might have had a really good opinion, who are no longer willing to offer that opinion to me because I've now stated my opinion and so I've not created an environment of openness for them to, I've not welcomed their opinion in my environment, and so I think there's a way to create an environment of welcoming open ideas so that everyone brings that you know, everything they have to offer to the table, like I said, so that we all can engage in those conversations that are helpful and good.
Speaker 2:Well, you came from a place like that. Listen to your TED talk. Tedx talk twice. When you moved to Salt Lake City, everybody's LDS.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And it's not a misconception, even today, where you know they're like oh, it's the new Austin. Right, it's you know it's still heavily influenced by the church Very much. You had to go there. You could have been defensive, you could have been like, well, and you would have never made any headway because you, just by being closed off, it's like, well, I'm not LDS and I'm not converting Right. And you know, I could care less who Joseph Smith is. I could care less about Archangel Moroni.
Speaker 3:Keep that to yours you would have never them and to respect what they believed in, regardless of what my beliefs were. So I listen right, Because you're communicating Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you communicated and you came from a place of understanding. You wanted to understand their world. Yeah, my first two managers were lds and you know they showed me the, the movie, and you know they they gave me the book which I still have one I have the book, and if I'm ever at a marriott I can grab a cup of coffee and it was like I couldn't fight them on.
Speaker 2:what do you mean? You can never work on a Sunday, or I could never be like, oh so you fast one day. So, oh, that's so silly. That's so silly. No, that's their belief, that's their world. Absolutely.
Speaker 3:You respect it. You respect it right, but you, you embrace it because it is their world and you figure out listen, this is the world I'm in right now and so this is, this is what they live in. There's no way I'm going to come in with a closed mind and environment like that. I'm going to listen, embrace and love them for who they are and let them love me for who I am. I wasn't going to change who I was. I was just going to embrace their culture for who they were.
Speaker 3:Well, you would be like running into a wall over and over Every day.
Speaker 2:Having the same result, yes, and like being super angry. But that's how, like people operate. They're like, oh well, how come I'm not getting anywhere? Well, because you keep on doing the same exact thing you have. It's like, it's like that friend that that keeps on touching the hot stove when it comes to their date, in the same person yes, different name and different face and they keep on damning themselves. And it's like, why is everybody? Well, maybe it's because it's you right, you want this Nobel peace prize winner, this guy that looks like Mr Olympia, this, this, this guy that is altruistic, that that donates, that does all, all this charity work and all that. But what? What are you bringing to the table? And that's right. We attract what we think we deserve deep down inside. But, yeah, no, people don't want to change, because you know it's. We want the world to change and it's like that's that saying if you want the world to change, start with yourself.
Speaker 3:Exactly. Maybe I'm the problem right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's funny because, listening to you, know you, you did that and and then you know you, you're talking about that, you were the minority, you're, you're working and a lot of african-americans and imagine I, I've seen this where it's like okay, well, I, I want you all to act, more white, or and it's like or or you know, you bust out and go. Hey, you know, this is my world, these are my beliefs, and you're gonna have to follow them, and it's it's crazy.
Speaker 2:It's crazy and I I know I'm jumping around, but the one thing I do love is what you, you bring to the table is faith based. Because, um, I hear time and time again, like, if there's any adversity or any, people hate grit, people don't want grit, people don't want adversity. So if there's any, then there's, there's proof that there is no God, that there's no Jesus Christ, that there's nothing out there. Because, you know, I didn't sit on Santa's lap, I didn't sit, I didn't pray at night and go, jesus Christ, I wanted to land. I want a Lamborghini, jesus Christ, I want a Lamborghini. They do that with the.
Speaker 2:That's why the secret doesn't work, because they brought the poster board, which is the same thing as prayer and they're like I want a Lamborghini.
Speaker 3:I want a mansion.
Speaker 2:I want to be a billionaire. And then both the universe and God's like okay, you're sound mind, you're healthy, so what?
Speaker 3:are you going to do together? That's right, no.
Speaker 2:I'm a great guy.
Speaker 3:I want it.
Speaker 2:Or, yeah, my brother died, or my, okay, well, that shows that there's no God. It's like, well, we all are here and you know, eventually, you know, each and every one of us has only a limited amount of time here, but that doesn't mean anything. But, yeah, I've heard from one guy that always wants to try to convert me to being an atheist because he had a falling out with his brother. So that shows that there, because why would God create his brother? And I feel like saying, well, we haven't. There's two sides of the story. We haven't heard his side. That's right. That's right.
Speaker 3:That's right, that's right. We're so quick, we're so quick to blame whenever things go go wrong, but we're, we're less we, we. We do not think we're not thankful, as as we should be when times are good when, when things are bad, those are the times to be the most thankful. Thankful, I agree, I agree. To be counting our blessings every day is really sometimes hard, but you know, that's why every day is like and I had this, this talk earlier.
Speaker 2:I mean we want to be angry or we want to feel like one. The world's not just, but okay, I mean mean every time I'm on youtube. Now they play the ronald mcdonald's house the, the commercial which I. I start, but I have to, you know, the first two, three times. I watched the whole thing.
Speaker 3:We're like, oh daddy oh my gosh and you know it's hard because we have children yeah.
Speaker 2:So it's like, oh my gosh, I can't. You know you always go. That's got to be devastating. So our problem, our trivial problems because 98 of the problems that we all have are first world problems. You know, we, we, we, we don't have enough to buy the bmw or to be liked or whatever silliness, but in the grand scheme of things, be thankful for that. You and I are healthy, we're still alive.
Speaker 3:Our children, our grandchildren. I have, you know, grandchildren. They're all good, everybody's good.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, so it's not like you know. You're not frozen, so you don't have dial-up. So you don't have dial-up. I don't have dial-up.
Speaker 2:We have AC in the summer, so we have running water. So just the simple things. If you wake up every morning and you thank God, we're both Christians, so we thank God, we thank Jesus Christ. But you can thank whatever you believe in. And, hey, if you believe in the universe, you believe in Mother Nature, more power to you. Be thankful for just having another opportunity, because today was both of our birthdays. Because we rose, we woke up again, we were born again, every day, every day, every day.
Speaker 2:You know, everybody thinks their birthday is like that magical day which seems even trivial, because it's like, how are you celebrating your birthday? And it's like, well, I'm going to be 52. I'm not going to go to Chuck E Cheese, you know. Maybe just go to dinner with my kids. You know, be happy, be thankful. That's about it, but you know and how do we know it's our actual birthday? Yeah, we were there, but you know they could have had it wrong Somebody could have just you know, oh, I want my son to be a.
Speaker 2:Leo. So his birthday is July 12th? We don't know. Yeah, yeah, I agree, I agree yeah, because my girlfriend was like, oh well, you didn't wish your, my, my friend, a happy birthday on social media. I'm like, yeah, and she's like, but it's her birthday. I'm like it's your birthday every day, every day, every day, and and it's yeah, congratulations you. And what what usually birthdays signify is for a person, especially when it's a five or a zero. I've done absolutely nothing, but it's like a new year's resolution, it's like January.
Speaker 3:It really is yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like, you're like, oh my gosh, but it's really no different than the day before. It's not From 29 to 30, or 30 to 4, 39 to 40, 49. But people have it in them that you know, something magical happens and that they, if they're going to write a book, you know they're going to write war and peace, even though they've never even written a paragraph. And then they fail because you know you can't go from zero to a thousand miles. It's about habits, right yeah.
Speaker 3:I always feel that way, like, uh, you know, whenever it's my birthday, I always think, well, I always feel that way. Like you know, whenever it's my birthday, I always think, well, you know, I feel blessed that I get to be the age that I am. So that's every day I'm like, look, I'm happy, you know? I mean I wouldn't go back to 20 to save my life. I love my age, I love my life, I love how, you know, I wouldn't change it, no matter how much adversity I've been through, hardships, whatever they all framed who I am today and all the gifts that I've been given, I wouldn't give any of them back, both good and bad. Love, love, love.
Speaker 2:But we have to go through all that to be who we are right now. Absolutely, if you change any little aspect of your life, maybe you would have never met your husband, maybe you would have never had those kids exactly grandkids.
Speaker 2:It was funny because it was before I was like writing my first book and it was a horrible first date. And she's like, well, what would you change in your life? Nothing, that was the answer. Nothing, yeah. And she thought you know, oh, I don't do the work. It's no, it's the opposite I do the work. And she's like, no, really, what would you do? And I'm like, well, even if I changed the most insignificant thing, even in my high school or a bad memory, my life could change, my life would have changed. And yes, even though I'm divorced, I I have two amazing daughters and they wouldn't have been in my life and, at the end of the day, that was 20 years of being with someone.
Speaker 2:So, no, and it's like the the date ended bad, but you know, but I had to get a lot of bad because you have to go through the adversity. Absolutely. You know, everybody wants Mr Wrong or Mr Right or Mrs Right, but you have to go through, you have to go through hell to get to heaven. Absolutely, yeah, it's like people that do change when, when they hire you, is because they're tired, they're tired of being stuck, they're tired of being in pain, and that pain is so significant that they're like let's try something different, absolutely, because if I'm just feeling a OK, because if I'm just feeling a okay and I'm in my comfort zone and I hire you, karen one, I'll probably lie, because we all love to lie to coaches yeah that's why I limit the coaching, because you know it's like that.
Speaker 2:That's why people like well, yeah, I've been with my therapist for 30 years. Well, why is it not working? Well, I don't want, is it not working? Well, I don't want to tell you. Know, I told him I don't want to tell him everything, absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 3:You're willing to talk to me and hey, listen, you know I'm good, I agree, I agree.
Speaker 2:So what made the shift to want to be in service to others, to help others? I know you found success. Clearly you're a COO, so in any aspect, being a COO means you had business success. You have balance in every aspect of your life, which to me is success. A lot of people feel that hey, I'm doing amazing in this one aspect, but everywhere else in my life it's falling apart. Well, you know, it bleeds out sooner or later it does, and we all want to become realtors in life. That's why social media is amazing, because we can stage. You know, oh, I'm with my soulmate, she's happy. Well, we don't know what's going to happen in a half hour or an hour or right before that. But people believe pictures are real. They don't realize things can be staged. Our lives can be staged. And it's like that because clearly the truth hurts a lot.
Speaker 3:It does.
Speaker 2:It takes being vulnerable, and especially entrepreneurs. Man, we're the most narcissistic. We believe I was like this for the first half of my 20-something years of being a business owner. Well, I could do everything. I failed accounting in college, but I think I could do the books and I can do this I can do the marketing and I don't need advice from anybody, because nobody knows how to run my business like me.
Speaker 3:Better than me. Yes.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I don't know. I think I probably had a heart for service after I met my first mentor and I talked about that in my TED talk and he, he changed my, he really changed my trajectory forever. I mean he, he gave me something that I, I honestly, couldn't do anything but give forward. From that moment on couldn't do anything but give forward from that moment on, I mean, when he, when he mentored me and I didn't even go into the whole story during the TED Talk, but I mean there were times when in my growing up, when I didn't, I didn't believe in myself, but I didn't believe anybody believed in me, and when he believed in me, it instantly made me want to share that with anyone I could, who was like me. And so I made a commitment to myself that anyone I met that was like me I would give that same lift to.
Speaker 3:So leadership for me at that point became more of a. The more people I could lead, the more people I could influence, and that's what. That's what it meant to me. It meant like okay, well, if I'm a supervisor, I could have five people to influence. If I was a manager, I could have 20 people. If I was a you know, a director, I could have 50, and so on and so on. So if the more people that I could influence in a good way, then the better off I was, and I always knew that there would be, you know, a ratio of one to five that I could really impact. And so I had set a goal for myself One every day I would change one person's life in some way, and that was my goal.
Speaker 2:Goal every day that's a, that's a beautiful goal. So we're we're like-minded souls. Because people ask me all the time, why do I do videos or this show or get up on stage and do the ted talk? And it it was just because if I can just change one person's life, and then maybe, if I'm lucky, two people, and how about you create a movement and it's three people and going forward, because a lot of times we, you know, it's the world's like me, me, me, or who's going to. I'm not going to help out anybody because nobody was there for me, and that's, that's the world's like me, me, me or who's going to. I'm not going to help out anybody because nobody was there for me, and that's, that's the worst. Whenever I hear someone like why should I share my time? Why should I give them money? Why should nobody?
Speaker 3:was there for me.
Speaker 2:Well then, clearly you, you're at that stage where you can be that person to help someone.
Speaker 3:Yeah, absolutely so yeah. Now with did you you now the TEDx talk.
Speaker 2:There's some adversity there too, right? Talk about rejection.
Speaker 3:I know I got plenty right.
Speaker 2:Yes, it's yes, and my limiting belief I, I oh master at sales or whatnot but, it's still. You know it's horrible, because my limiting beliefs came back. Like every time that was like no, no, it was like back in 1991 getting a you know that little slip a rejection letter from a college yeah, yeah, you definitely feel like a little kid again um you know because my whole, from the time I first heard a TED Talk, I wanted to be on stage doing a TED Talk.
Speaker 3:So I've watched TED Talks for years and it wasn't until I finally left the corporate world and started my own business that I really said I can do this now. So I dug in, I started to, you know, work on the program. I started to really say, okay, this is what I want to talk about, this is. And then then it really, from the time that I really set my eyes on on it, it took me a good year to even get on stage. Yes, so you know so, and I knew that I, that was an investment I was willing to make. But then there was still a lot of you know, well, we're not interested, we're not interested. And then it was like, okay, and the whole time I'm thinking, you know, I'm feeling about this big cause. I'm like, okay, well, I hope somebody believes in me because you believe in myself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you think you send in one and you know they're going to be like, oh my gosh, thank you. Yeah. They're like oh, you don't fit the or. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, it was very competitive and you just didn't make the cut, or if we need alternates, you can be in an alternate, which means it's still no, they're just trying to because I've never heard somebody. Hey, you know what, they rejected me, but I was an alternate and they told me three weeks before I can just show up and do it. No, it doesn't work that way, right?
Speaker 3:Or my angst was was my TED Talk not intelligent enough? Was it? Didn't it have enough substance? Because it was really more about my story and that was very personal to me. I mean I had my connection capital, I had the business behind it, but but really it was about me and so that that you know. But I was adamant, that was my story, I wanted it out there.
Speaker 2:So but you, you see, you've always had you, you, since you've had adversity at such a young age. You didn't, you didn't quit a lot of people after the first, first month of first month first couple, but I'm saying no. I mean, it was so bad that I did my talk and I was still getting rejection letters and I felt like typing back ah, the joke's on you I did it exactly exactly, but yeah and it's people don't understand, like the pro, it's like you have to send them like multiple takes and yeah that you memorized it, that you did this.
Speaker 3:Yes, yeah, that was hard.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:That was hard.
Speaker 2:Mine was almost rejected because, get this, you know how you're supposed to say word for word yes, you can't deviate. Well, I felt inspired. Here I am, I've got my. You know I'm a talker, let me show them how amazing I am. So I I keep on 30 seconds more of embellishing everything, at the end inconsequential. And then I get the.
Speaker 2:I guess they didn't want to break the news to me there. You know, it's thanksgiving of all. Like three weeks later it was out in houston and I get the call. I'm like why is he calling me for from, you know, houston? So he's like I'm, I'm going to submit it, but there's a possibility that's rejected and that it will never be seen because you deviated from the script. And I was like and he thought I was going to be like angry or whatnot. But you know I come from a place of gratitude, it's Thanksgiving, I'm going to see my daughters and I'm like, at the end of the day, I'm like I don't care if nobody ever sees it, because you want to know what I was on that stage. People were there and I got to tell my story and that's exactly how I felt. Yeah, that's exactly how.
Speaker 3:I felt. Because you know to be to be fair and honest, mine was edited at the end as well. I actually got emotional in the middle of mine, which I started crying. And I. I had to pause because I, you know, I just, I like my mind went blank and the people in the audience was really what I mean. Honestly, that was the best part, because they stood up and just started clapping like, keep going, we want to hear your story. Like I was halfway through it and they're like encouraging me to, you know, finish.
Speaker 3:And afterwards it was like, you know, we thought anyone would have run off the stage at that point because, you know, you're so horrified, you're like sitting there and your mind is just completely blank because you're so emotional and I just I just said, you know just kept like thinking, okay, I got this, I got this, and I refused to leave the stage. I was going to finish, and so I did. And then, you know so, there was even adversity in my talk and so I was so proud of myself. But if they never showed it, I was like I did it though they can't take it away from you. I did it like I I did it.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And you did something that most people don't even have the courage to go for.
Speaker 3:And so I was. You know, I was so like elated and all I wanted to do was connect with one person. That was my goal. I just wanted to touch one person. I said, if I can do that, then I've done my job here. And and I did. There was one person who called me afterwards that I've changed her life and I'm, and I'm good. I'm good, I did my job, I did that.
Speaker 2:Well, if it makes you, I can make you feel a little better. I I've watched it three times, so it's definitely a good one that touches my heart.
Speaker 3:Thank you, yes.
Speaker 2:And it resonates because one of the most watched ones because you know you always have was I don't know. It's a guy that was addicted to porn and addicted to masturbating and watching porn like 35 million views or whatnot, and I was with my two teenage daughters and but I'm just watching it over and over and then I'm like, as a parent, I'm like, I'm like. I don't know your, your dad is not a sex addict and I'm not watching pornography at work.
Speaker 2:I just want to see why this talk resonated so much to get the number the most views, most views right and I don't know whether it was luck or because I don't think there's 35 or 30 million people that watch porn at work Right right.
Speaker 2:Who knows, and it wasn't like he was some amazing, it wasn't like it was Anthony Robbins or something. So it's like something I watched one and done Right, so yours, I don't care if you hit 10,000, 20,000, 1 million. The message is what matters Because if you think about it, look, look, look at what people love, the reality shows honey, boo boo.
Speaker 3:I know that's long gone, long gone, but but there's those two that that the president pardoned those two reality stars that are going to start doing their show again. Yes, yes.
Speaker 2:Help us all. We're at a point where the world needs healing. The world needs more Karens out there, more Karen Hollandaise out there, because you're Karen but you should be Kareen. Yes, but it should be caring. Yes, because man it's gotten, we are. The world is addicted to, like dopamine Absolutely, absolutely. I felt like an old man because I went, I've been going to. I've been noticing this more now that even at a sporting event before, when we were young, it was like okay, the sporting event happened, go home. Now it's like a rock concert. There's flashing lights. It's like being in Las Vegas.
Speaker 2:I think Siegfried and Roy is going to pop out somewhere Laser lights at a hockey game and all that, and I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm like man, are we this addicted? But we are, that's why, songs aren't even three minutes long.
Speaker 3:I know.
Speaker 2:Nobody can do a stairway to heaven or Paradise.
Speaker 3:City oh man, those are, I know those songs I mean can do a stairway to heaven. Or paradise city, man, those are, I know those songs I mean.
Speaker 2:But if you have a song that goes longer than like four minutes, because everybody needs that. You know we need something new fast and fast, and that's why I mean we need more people like you to. You know we need people to be in touch spiritually. I think everybody does. I don't care what anybody believes in, I don't care if they're what denomination or if they're Muslim or in general. People have the same needs, the same human needs.
Speaker 3:I agree. Connection, you know, connection with each other, I think, connection with a spiritual being, I think, connection with with a spiritual being, it to me, it, it does not matter what that is, what your beliefs are, is not important to me. It's important to me that you have a belief, right, that you believe in something bigger than yourself and that you believe in each other. Right, that we do believe in each other, because we're so divided right now that we we can't even see each other. Like I always tell people thank you for seeing me, and I don't mean that in the physical form.
Speaker 3:When I walk by someone and they actually see me, meaning they see my emotion, that touches me, like, hey, are you having a good day? You look a little stressed today, like people I see on a normal basis. If they see that in me, then I, I know they've seen me and so it kind of kept. It's a little catchy because it's like you know, hey. Then they start saying, hey, you saw me today. I, I, I did, because I see everybody. I look beyond that exterior. I want to see who you are, I want to know who you are and I think so, then people are more than dior, or yeah, I don't even see all that stuff I don't even see all that stuff, I don't even know what that is.
Speaker 3:But you know, I do. I do love people, I love humans, I love animals. Oh my gosh, I love, I love all, all things. I just love it.
Speaker 2:Well, no, I love humans, living things, but yeah well, because I mean you, you could have watched the tedx talk. It would be a spoiler alert, but it's the very beginning. At least watch the whole thing, you'll like it. When your father died at a young age seven, yeah, which is, you know, you could have hated the world, you could have hated god, you could have hated jesus christ, you could have hated every denomination, every everybody, because you know it's a hard lesson the lesson of loss, the lesson that life isn't fair and that sometimes just things it's random, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And you know seeing your. Then your mom had to work.
Speaker 3:That was honestly that was. I mean, losing my father was very hard. I think it would not, you know, I think obviously I always viewed my father as my first rejection, because when he left it was just so hard on me. Then my mom she left because she had to work and she ended up moving to where she worked, so she never came home. We just raised each other, and so we just raised each other. It really was a very empty place to grow up in. It was a very cold place where you have to kind of weave your way through life without really having anyone who cares about you so you just figure everything out all on your own. That does make you stronger, but it feels really empty Now yeah.
Speaker 2:Do you still have an amazing relationship with your brothers, or did it just because of that experience and that adversity? You guys all went your separate way.
Speaker 3:We did all go our separate ways. But I will tell you, I speak to all of my brothers, but they do not speak to each other. Really, yeah, and it's unfortunate, but when you grow up like that, I think it just creates its own level of challenges.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's a lot, it's a lot, it's a lot, it's a lot, it's a lot and it's hard to. Yes, you're certified. But what people don't understand? Yes, I've got all the certifications. We're both in the personal business development. It's very invasive. It's not like you can just walk up to somebody. Karen's walking up to somebody. Guess what. I can help you If people that are friends and family, it's invasive to them. Nobody wants it and it's not like your brothers are going to be like oh well, Karen knows. Karen knows all about love, all about forgiveness, all about compassion. Let's bring her to the table and maybe she can fix this issue. It doesn't. Also, they can't because the people that grow up with you you could cure cancer. They don't see you as karen who cured cancer. They see you as the little girl that was with them yep, yep.
Speaker 3:And the funny thing is is that they, they all, they all. I have a very special relationship with them all and they all do see me as a very strong person in their life, like I've become this, you know almost a a very, you know, strong advocate for them. I'm very close to each one of them. I'm like each one of their only family, right. But, but but it, but you, you're right, they all have said it's not fixable.
Speaker 2:And although they love me, um I, I, uh you know they're absolutely right, because whenever you say something like that, it's not fixable it. When somebody says, I can't never argue with them, they're right, that's right, that's right, it's not fixable. I know you got your health certification. So somebody's like Karen, I can't lose weight. No, never lose weight. Well, congratulations.
Speaker 3:We don't have to do any coaching. That's right, that's right, it must be true. So yeah, but yeah, that's right, it must be true. So yeah, so, but, but yeah, I do I have a good relationship with them.
Speaker 2:They just don't with each other. Well, hey, you know it's, it's tough and you've done the work. Now is your mom still alive or?
Speaker 3:she passed away about 13 years ago now?
Speaker 2:was there any resentment with mom, between you and your brothers with her? Because you know, even though she did what she had to do, it's still hard as a as a child, I would say yeah, I would say from.
Speaker 3:from that perspective, uh me I would say three, two out of uh two. Two of us had a lot of resentment. I was one of them.
Speaker 3:My mom and I were never friends when, when I was growing up so speaking on my behalf I had one brother that didn't speak to her at all for about 25 years. I reconciled with her when I was pregnant with my first son and I told her I went to counseling. I said I don't think you are a good mother at all. You left me and that wasn't a very nice thing to do. So I said but I would love for my children to have a grandmother and if you would like to be a grandmother, I would like to give you the opportunity. But if you ever, ever, treat my children the way you treated me, there won't be another opportunity. And we reconciled and we became the best of friends. And then I spent every day talking to her, probably the last 15 years of her life, and when she passed away of cancer, it broke my heart. She was my best friend. I lost my husband and my mom at the same time and it was heartbreaking.
Speaker 2:But what was beautiful about that, though, is you got that opportunity. Imagine if you didn't seek counseling. Imagine if you you had all that resentment all that anger and you still have it. You held on to it. That was your cross to bear, that was your identity. And she dies. And now you can't reconcile I know it's like a triple whammy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know so. And it it takes courage, took courage, courage on both of your parts. It took courage for you to be like you know what it? It sucks, but you, you, you lost all those years I did. You realized this was an opportunity of having. You can't, there's none of us have a flux capacitor. We don't have a delorean but, you could.
Speaker 2:You know you can have a relationship from that moment forward and your children? Yeah, instead of rehashing things over and over, I had a similar experience. My mom and dad divorced before I was born. Never met my father, even to this day Like he. Social media stalks me and stuff but never met the man. And my mom was 20, so she went to school full time and worked full time, so never saw her.
Speaker 2:My grandparents I saw her but never like really saw her and then, after she graduated graduated, she still had two jobs to provide. It wasn't until I was and I had all this resentment because, you know, where were you yeah, where were you absolutely during all those trying times and when I was feeling different. Because, you know, I was the only parent that had divorced parents only kid with divorced parents and felt awkward and weird and this and that, but my mom's the opposite when it comes to the work or anything. She never read my books, never listened to my podcast. But that's okay, it's Anthony Roberts. She is.
Speaker 2:She'll call him that, but it was the moment I realized she did the best she could. I mean, could I have done a better job at 20? We all do the best we can with the tools we have, and it was like, why hold? When you hold anger and resentment to it's a cancer? It really is. You're literally killing yourself because you're hating on someone. I mean, that's why some of these people are like so broken. I can only imagine oh my gosh, let me hate on every person that ever did me wrong or because I got dumped and I thought I did the best I could ever in this and that week. We all have a story. You know, forgive them, that's not for all. A lot of these people don't deserve forgiveness. Do it, let it all go. You know why. Why are you holding onto it Like you know all this way? Yeah.
Speaker 3:Hate is a heavy coat to wear. I you know when I went through, obviously, the several years of my life before, even after, my mom passed. You know, certainly my life hasn't been perfect and a lot of that is because of me and the decisions I made and as I went through all of my adversity, there are many times I stop and think about my mom and what she went through. You know she was thrown into raising four children. She was, you know, she had to make a lot of decisions that she'd never made in her life and you know I gave her a lot of grace and mercy for those things. And just thinking about, like you said, that was her path to walk, not mine. She made the decisions that she made.
Speaker 2:Well, karen, she thought overall that she was going to be married to your dad. Yeah, she was going to raise four amazing kids you guys were going to. You know she, she was gonna hang out with the grant. She was gonna be a grandmother and a big, happy family. Your father was gonna be a grandfather he was gonna be. Nobody knows what tomorrow. What tomorrow holds right that when you were six years old, your mom wasn't saying hey, you, you know what. We're on borrowed time.
Speaker 3:Right, we have to prepare Right. So she wasn't prepared, so I. So. The last half of my life with her was amazing. She was the best grandmother to my children. They were her best friends. You know they it just to it was. It was such a blessing that I got to be with her, and that's how I feel.
Speaker 2:And that's. That's beautiful. That's beautiful, that's a beautiful story. That's to me, that's more love than all those corny Hallmark movies that people, people hate because they, they watch them and they want a relationship like that. They don't understand that's not real, you know. There's nobody ugly.
Speaker 3:Everybody's amazing, everybody's beautiful.
Speaker 2:Everybody's beautiful Even the minor characters. Right, and you know. Woman moves to New York City. She's a hot shot. She makes like half a million dollars.
Speaker 3:She moves back to the, the small town country yeah, the country you know she's a guy with a horse farm.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, or or her old high school flame. They don't know how they broke up. They reconnect and they fall madly in love and she's like I'm gonna get rid of that five500,000 a year job. I'm going to move back to the town with no prospects. I'll just work at the five and dime and we'll live happily ever after.
Speaker 3:It's perfect.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's realistic, I love it. So, karen, I want everybody to watch your TEDx talk. So, please, everybody just go to YouTube, karen Holiday TEDx. It'll come up. There's going to be two breaks, because whenever you don't pay, I don't pay for YouTube. I'm sorry, it's okay, I don't pay I don't pay for YouTube.
Speaker 3:I'm sorry, it's okay. I don't pay either. Okay.
Speaker 2:So there's going to be two commercial breaks. One you're going to definitely have to watch the Ronald McDonald House, the McDonald House, and want to donate or at least cry. But your story it's very. I got misty-eyed the first time I heard. It was like driving home, I'm watching it, listening to it, I'm misty-eyed, I'm like, well, I hope nobody thinks I got dumped or something.
Speaker 2:I'm sitting in traffic. It's an amazing story. It's about adversity. It's about overcoming. It's about amazing story. It's about adversity, it's about overcoming. It's about breaking down walls in general Because, heck, plenty of walls, there's more walls. Heck, we might be Chinese, because the Great Wall of China is not the biggest wall.
Speaker 3:It's the wall that we've all built around ourselves. Yes, I agree.
Speaker 2:So break down that wall, just like the Berlin Wall. And, karen, how do we find you, how do we hire you? Because, quite frankly, I don't like doing that anymore. Anyways, the coaching aspect because I get I, it gets to me on emotionally. So how do they find you?
Speaker 3:You can. You can contact me on my website or you go to my website If you want to know more about me. At NIAC Consulting, that's N-Y-A-K. That stands for Not your Average Karen consultingcom. Everything about me is on my website, or you can and you can contact me there. I have my phone number on there and my email, or you can just email me at nyackconsultingatoutlookcom.
Speaker 2:I've got one question for you. A final question I always love to end my shows this way. I'm a prospect. Alright, karen, I just lost all hope. I mean I've let myself go, I don't know. 30 pounds overweight, my marriage is on the rocks. Got all these kids that work for me. Bunch of libtards, liberals frigging Gen Zs Don't want to work, I just don't. I need help. I need help in every aspect of my life. Where do I start?
Speaker 3:It's a great question what does tomorrow look like for you?
Speaker 2:That's not me.
Speaker 3:You know I mean for me, I for me, like, and again you know I mean for me, I for me, like, and again. You know, if anybody were to come to me and ask me that question, you know I'd always want them to be thinking about tomorrow, right, because every day is every day that you feel like that you're always gonna, you're always gonna. I always want to encourage people that that is a day a day that you feel like this is always going to, you're always going to. I always want to encourage people that that is a day a day that you feel like this is always going to transition to tomorrow. So if I get them thinking about tomorrow, then we can start to break down what your plan looks like for the next day and the next day and the next day, right, because really it's about creating healthy habits for yourself in general, that's in your life, in your health, in your business, whatever, whatever's going on in your life. We want to break that down.
Speaker 3:But my first question is always like what does tomorrow look like for you? You know you, everything that you're talking about is awesome. That's today, that's what's going on with you today, but what's tomorrow look like? And it gets you thinking about you're out of this today, nonsense, what's tomorrow look like. And it gets you thinking about you're out of this today, nonsense, what's tomorrow look like.
Speaker 2:That's good. And you know what that's actually amazing for. Think about how many people would not end their pain by committing suicide, Because a lot of times they feel like there is no tomorrow, there's no end to this pain. But if there's hope that there is tomorrow and that it can't rain all the time and you know, God puts us through the fire to make us who we are- he gives us tomorrow.
Speaker 3:He doesn't promise. He doesn't promise tomorrow, but he does promise a lot for us, and hope is one thing that he gives us, and faith Right.
Speaker 2:So Thank you. Thank you for your time, karen. Love everything about you. Love the TEDx talk. We're like-minded souls.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:She's the president of NIAC. Okay, hire the woman, look at the TEDx talk. It's the president of NIAC. Okay, hire the woman, look at the TEDx talk. It's amazing People. You know, when you have to fill out that questionnaire, what are your favorite TED talks or TEDx talks? I know I had to do that your top three. If I had to do that over again, if I wanted to go beat myself up and do that process, you would be like one of my top three oh, thank you, thank you, and then I, and then you know, I've got an ego, so I'd be like mine.
Speaker 2:Those are my top two.
Speaker 3:Well thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2:Thank you for having me.
Speaker 3:I appreciate it this is a great talk, thank you so much.
Speaker 1:I was trapped inside that prison door for a long time. To make it happen, you gotta take action. Just imagine what if it did work.