What If It Did Work?
What If It Did Work?
How Language Builds Trust Fast In Sales
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The pitch deck isn’t where the deal is won. The real “yes” happens earlier, when a buyer’s subconscious decides it feels safe, clear, and self-directed to move forward. That’s why we brought on Paul Ross, a master hypnotist, NLP practitioner, and longtime sales trainer, to unpack the sales psychology most teams ignore and the language patterns that make modern buyers actually focus.
We talk about why old-school sales training feels incomplete in today’s distracted market, and why “know, like, trust” is necessary but not sufficient. Paul shares how to build something deeper: trust in the prospect’s ability to make a great decision. You’ll hear his “soil and seeds” framework for state management, the implied relationship words that create instant buy-in, and why strategic vagueness can increase compliance when used at the right moment.
We also get tactical on objection handling with pattern interrupts and reframes for classics like “we need to look at other options” and “I need time to think it over.” Then we zoom out to the seller’s internal state, fear of closing, and the small phrases that quietly destroy authority. Paul also shares a free resource created specifically for listeners at “sell with suggestion forward slash what if.”
If this helps you sell with more clarity and less pressure, subscribe, share it with a friend in sales, and leave a five-star review. What’s the one objection you want to erase for good?
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Intro: Selling Is Subconscious
SPEAKER_03All right, everybody, another day, another dollar, another one of my favorite episodes, my favorite podcast, because I'm biased. What if it did work? Welcome back. Today we're we're diving into something that most salespeople never even realize is happening. The real sale isn't happening in the boardroom, the Zoom call, or the pitch deck. It's happening in the subconscious. Our guest today is Paul Ross, the man, the myth, the legend. He's an author, he's a speaker, he's a master hypnotist, he's a master practitioner of NLP, the neurolinguistic programming, one of the most in-demand sales trainers in the world for over 30 years. Paul, you don't even look 40, brother. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Oh, you're so full of it. Thank you.
SPEAKER_03Proteges there doing it, brother. Paul has taught tens of thousands of people how to use the power of language to persuade, sell, heal, overcome objections, and turn pain into passion. He believes selling isn't about pressure. He believes selling isn't about selling timeshare or something that you don't need. It's not about scripts. It's definitely not about manipulation. It's not about any of that. It's about understanding how the mind actually works. We're talking subconscious sales, we're talking the DSC factor. We're talking destroying objections before they even show up. So if you're in sales, which is everybody, sales makes the world go wrong. Leadership business, or just want to communicate at a higher level. Lean in. Paul Ross, welcome to the show, brother.
SPEAKER_01Did you did you like that intro? I don't know how I can follow that.
SPEAKER_03It's quite a gobful of you gotta tell your publicists, man. You know, that that education finally kicked in, man, after like eight years, you know, that my my my degree in two dollars and fifty cents will get me a copy of the US today. You're welcome to the show, brother.
Rating Request And Credibility
SPEAKER_01Thank you. Before we go any further and dive any deeper into this exploration of the world of subconscious selling, and as I invite your listeners to mysteriously, effortlessly focus in the more they listen. I want to give props to you. What you're doing is extraordinary. The value you're bringing is extraordinary. So before we jump in, can I ask your audience to please go to your favorite platform, leave a five-star rating for Omar's show? He's earned it, he deserves it, he brings great value. Um, go ahead and do that and let's get going, Omar.
SPEAKER_03Paul, man, that that's a little pillow talk right there, man. I I should have anchored it because after after that, man, af after what you just said, if I would have anchored that in, and if anytime I was feeling the blues kicking in, uh I would have just been like, remember remember when Paul gave me that that plug. How's it going? Man, I I have to say, reading about you, and and I was social, I was it I was stalking you, brother, on social media. I was looking up everything that you did in Amazon. It's like, man, congratulations. And you know what I love about you is sales is not about manipulation because a lot of these people with their programs, it's like, and I've been a part of a bunch of them. They're like here, here's my their sales pitch. Oh, so you don't have any shoes? You still need to buy these pair of shoes just in case you need them. And it's like they don't give a shit if it's win-win. It you know, as long as I win, and the the prospect or the buyer, if they if they break even, that's decent. If they win even, but you know, there's no no care in the world, man.
SPEAKER_01To me, sales is not about manipulation, scripting is useful. To me, this is batshit crazy. Sorry if I cursed on your show when I showed you. You can curse.
SPEAKER_03I've said I I've been speaking that way since like the 70s.
Sell Decisions Not Products
SPEAKER_01Okay. To me, selling is about engineering states of consciousness, expanding consciousness. I'll unpack that in a minute. Yes, using my methodology, it's about slipping suggestions past their conscious radar and activating their mechanism where they convince themselves to buy. The easiest sale is where you don't sell, but the prospect convinces themselves to buy. And remember, first lesson, first takeaway from this episode, you're never selling your product or service, your widget, insurance, whatever. You're always selling decisions and good feelings about decisions. Now, what are the major implements to that? Uh impediments to that. The major impediments to that are first of all, in order to make a good decision, your prospects need to be able to focus. If you can't focus for more than 15 seconds, which nowadays is probably the average attention span, even if you're interested, let's let's be charitable and make it 90 seconds, which we know it's much less. If you can't get your prospects to focus in carefully on what it is I'm saying now, if you can't get them to do that, Omar, then you're lost. The second thing that sales trainings ignore that I've seen, there are a lot of good ones out there, but it's not that they're bad, it's that they're now incomplete because the market's changed, human psychology has changed in some ways. Remember, it's not enough to get prospects to know, like, and trust you. That's necessary, but it's not sufficient. Now, the number one thing that's lacking is how do you get the prospect to trust themselves? How do you get the prospect to realize, convince themselves, recognize that they can trust that they're making a great decision? That is a missing piece. How do you do that without manipulation, without coercion, without any of those things, and do it very swiftly, very rapidly, within that little time window. These are some quite I'll I'll reveal specific methods to deliver the goods to your audience, but these are basic principles. And the other basic principle I'll give you is whatever you can get your prospect to imagine for themselves will be perceived by themselves as being their own idea, and therefore they will not resist it. These are basic principles, and from that, what distills out of that are the techniques that I'll share. And by the way, I share these with people. My interest, I used to work with everyone, but now my interest is working with people who are already at the top 10%, 20% of what they're doing. But the old tactics, Omar, the old tactics, they're just not working the way they used to. They're barely moving the needle. And ladies and gentlemen, if you fit that particular psychographic, you know the frustration and the exhaustion of pushing harder. So I'm not here to show you the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm here to remove the tunnel. So what you're doing really well begins to work exponentially better, and you can regain the domination of your market, regain that momentum without running harder in the same place. It's very important that you do that.
Focus And Self Trust Under Pressure
SPEAKER_03This has been bugging me. Now, meaning, yeah, no, no. I I wanted to ask you this ever since I read your bio, learned all about you. Now, was your family like mom, dad, your whole family like really good into sales? Like, are you related to Zig Ziggler? Nothing like that.
SPEAKER_01No, no, no, no, no, no. So my parents were from the greatest generation, fought World War II, went through depression. My dad worked three jobs to put food on the table. Uh, he was a school principal. He and my mother later on in life sold real estate. Now I love my parents to this day, they're my heroes. Uh, may they rest in the arms of God, uh whatever you believe about the afterlife. And I keep them alive in my heart every day. I truly do. And the problem my parents had selling real estate is they wanted to be liked. They wanted to be liked above all else. And that's hard. That's the kiss of death. That's that's definitely the kiss of death, man. My mother did make her first big commission. She bought a Cadillac and it was promptly uh stolen from the driveway within a week. Broke her heart. But uh, yeah, no, I don't come now. My niece, Vanessa Van Edwards, is a fantastic entrepreneur. You've heard of Vanessa, have you not? She's already talked to me about her. No, just I don't want to no. I just want to say I'm messing with you, dude. Vanessa is a two-time best-selling author, she's got huge following, she makes a cajillion dollars.
SPEAKER_03Well, she's like you. You you've got multiple books, all all applicable, dude. And you you you sell if if one can't sell, you know, they're stuck. And I hate people that oh, I'm not into sales. Man, everybody's selling something. Yeah, I mean, I I I had to sell my ex-wife to go out with me.
Seduction Roots To Sales Mastery
SPEAKER_01Uh well, you do know I started my career teaching seduction. Yes, I saw the guys who couldn't get laid in a woman's prison with a fistful of pardons. In fact, do you see that picture right there? Oh, I do. It looks like Tom Cruise. Is that you? It is Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise, Tom Cruise's character in the movie Magnolia, the obnoxious, misogynistic uh get-laid guru, Frank TJ Mackey, was loosely inspired by the Ross Jeffries character I created back in my uh days when it was a struggle for me. And I stumbled onto hypnosis and NLP, and I learned to communicate in ways that evoked and engineered emotions in women. Emotions like uh fascination, a sense of incredible connection, like they've known me their whole life, desire, arousal, go for it now, even if people are looking, those kind of things. And about 15, 20 years into my career, I started getting emails from students who sent an email, thank you very much. I met my beautiful wife, I have a beautiful family, three or four kids, whatever the numbers were. And by the way, I'm in sales and I've been applying your seduction stuff, excuse me, to selling, and my sales have gone up 300%. I'm the top salesperson in a firm of 500 people, and this stuff is crazy. Thank you very much. I thought, hey, to myself, dumb shit. Why didn't you not why did you not see this connection before? Go back into your mad scientist language lab, map it out. Took me a year, and then from there, I would take anyone I could and train them to further refine it. I I mean, people who called me trying to sell me shit on the phone, I would see if I could get them to let me train them how to do it better, anybody, until I evolved into the bus position I am today. So that's the quick history. It's been a fascinating ride with all sorts of weirdies and fringes and geniuses uh going through my swinging door. And yeah, that's how I came to be where I am now.
SPEAKER_03Well, Paul, think about it, man. You you were like uh a modern day savior for a lot of people that couldn't get laid, man. Yeah, you gave them confidence. Yeah, just just think about it, man. You you know, but uh the days of pleading and begging, you know, to at to actually sell.
SPEAKER_01I call it the five B's bullying, begging, buying, BS, booze, and there's a sixth one biceps. Thank you very much, Katie. My trainer, she's coming to kick my ass right after this episode. Love Katie.
SPEAKER_03So look at that, man. Hypnotism NLP. And what the the funny thing is, dude, you knew all sales is a fine line, man. Picking up a woman, you still have to have her say yes, correct? I'm I mean, whether you're you're nefarious and you're evil, like Ted did.
SPEAKER_02Omar, you're breaking up.
SPEAKER_03You're breaking up a little bit. Am I breaking up? How about now?
SPEAKER_01Hold on, Omar. Omar, hold on. Um, I'm gonna can we pause the recording?
SPEAKER_03That's okay. I'm not Steven Spielberg, but you know, the conversation's going great. But yeah, no, there's that fine line though. It's always selling. I have to. I mean, you were the Mr. Romance, you're teaching these men how to woo a woman, but man, you have to give a compelling reason. You you you know, it can't be like, you know, a lot of people don't the they miss out. Uh you're on social media. I'm sure everybody's DMing you. Oh, buy my product, dude. It's like going to a bar and saying, Oh, I hate it. Uh, I want to fuck. Oh, congratulations, you're gonna do amazing. And it it's people have when it when it comes to asking now, when it comes to asking for the sale, when it comes to rapport and all that, man, that's out the window, which is like crazy, don't you think?
SPEAKER_01Here's how I would put it I have a completely different paradigm, a totally different model. Look at this. Consider the state of mind, the state of consciousness your prospect is in as the soil, and consider the actions you want them to take as the seeds. If you can't get them in the states of focus, trusting themselves, being tuned in to what it is you're saying, feeling like they're understood, at least getting the illusion that they're participating. Knock it off, kitty. My cat's pulling at the Ethernet cable. If you can't get them there, then the seeds of your offer are gonna fall on bad soil. I'm getting a little biblical here. Uh, the metaphor of planting seeds, and some fell on good soil and they took root, and the trees bore fruit and all that other stuff. But the principle is true. So, my question is how do you go about creating those states of trust in themselves as well as in you? Now, I have what I call implied relationship words. I teach this in my instant trust quick start training. But here it goes. Here are the words. Most typical salespeople, the old stale, off-the-shelf approach would be now, uh ladies and gentlemen, give yourself a hand. Hi, five, your neighbor. Great that you're here. I really appreciate it. Today I'm going to be showing you our software service. And one of the things you'll notice, it'll speed up your servers by 15%, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And we've been in business 30 years, blah, blah, blah. No, no. I teach my clientele to be vague and even a little confusing in the beginning, using some suggestions. Here is how I train my clients to do it. Before we begin our exploration together. So let's look at these implied relationship words. I didn't say I, I said we. Our before we begin our. So we have we and our before we begin our exploration. Now, Omar, exploration is a powerfully hypnotic word. And here's why for every exploration, there must be a starts with the letter F. Strike strike that starts with the letter L. For every exploration, there must be a leader. And if there must be leaders, it implies there must be followers. Followers. So as soon as they buy into that suggestion that it's an exploration, and naturally you're leading on the unconscious, subconscious level, same thing. They take on the position in their subconscious mind, oh, I must be their follower since they're my leader in this exploration. Now we've gone past rapport and into the realm of compliance because followers are not just in rapport with you, they comply with you, particularly if you're taking them into unknown territory. The one who's least uncertain, I'll say it again, not the one who's more certain, but the one who's least uncertain will be followed by people uh more than facts, figures, data can ever get them to follow. So before we begin our exploration together, now together again implies that you're on the same side of the fence. Before we begin our exploration together today, may I invite. Now look at that word invite. I'm not saying ask. Ask is um, excuse me, ask is something I'm doing to you or wanting from you. May I invite you to please share, not ask. May I invite you to share the questions that naturally arise when a great decision is being made. Look at that last part. Did I say a great decision to buy from me today, a great decision to sign up for our whatever service? Did I say that specifically? No, you did not. I was vague. I was purposely vague. And when you're vague in the context of someone already being suggestible, I mean followed your suggestions, they have to fill in the blanks for themselves. So there's a time, this is totally contrarian and different and against the rules of what everyone else teaches. There is a time in every powerful sale where you must be vague and even a little confusing, particularly in the beginning, when you want to grab that unshakable focus, that unbreakable trust in themselves, that desire to follow along. Screw rapport. Rapport is only as useful as it builds compliance. If you can skip rapport and get compliance, which is a crazy idea, but it works. This is why my clients see 30, 40, 50% increases in sales. As crazy as this batshit crazy as it sounds, you don't believe me, I'll provide proof later. Because it's so different. Because I came from the world outside of sales. I was able to look in that box and go, uh no, I think this will work better. That's a myth. What used to be true is no longer true. What used to be true is not now a myth, etc. So that is an example of exact languaging you can use to get them to trust themselves, to get them to focus on on you, to not only trust you, but to view you in their unconscious, on the subconscious level, as their leader. And you're achieving that within that span of focus that you have very quickly. Language is powerful. I'm gonna get fancy schmancy here. Language gets you laid and gets you paid. No, no, language structures consciousness, shapes decisions, and drives behavior. So either you use your words with deliberateness and shape them to structure the other person's emotions and consciousness, or they will automatically work against you. There's no other choice.
SPEAKER_03So then, Paul, do you think that most of us have been trained to really building rapport is actually wasting time?
SPEAKER_01Nowadays nowadays, let me put it this way Do you really have five, 10 minutes to get rapport with a client anymore?
SPEAKER_03No, no, because uh it you their one their time is valuable, even though exactly the dopamine. That's why you know there's no songs like Free Bird or Led Zeppelin, there's no 10-minute songs, everything has to be fast, everything has to be at three minutes because we live in a you know dopamine society that you know onto the next, and you think, oh my gosh, we must be with Gordon Gecko or you know, these powerful CEOs, and it's no, they're they're to do nothing, really.
SPEAKER_01So, what makes so ladies and gentlemen out there? What makes you think that that same lack of focus doesn't apply to your prospects? It absolutely does, maybe even more. You know, on LinkedIn, I get messages on LinkedIn, I ignore them all because they're all hey Paul, I really love how your podcast does this and this. I particularly like this and this, would love to connect with you for a 15-minute call. Okay, but fuck you. You did this is some kind of AI software. Shove it up your keyster with a sun, don't shine.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but at least they're uh at least um, I'm getting the metaphor people in the Indian people saying, Man, I I can make you famous, I can get you like five million views, I you know, I can get you on Oprah's couch, you know, and it's like, not really, brother.
SPEAKER_01That's a lie, Omar. There's no room on Oprah's couch except for Oprah. I hate Oprah Winfrey. Can I just say it's it's funny people find her I find her disgusting because she's so pseudoscientific, she promotes sham health products and sham pseudoscientism.
SPEAKER_03Like Dr. Oz. Is that why the two Of them love each other.
SPEAKER_01Oh God, Dr. I no, I don't want to get sued. I'm not going to get sued. No, but you don't have any if you don't have anything nice to say and you don't have a good lawyer, shut up.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but but Paul, you're gonna laugh about um we're both authors. Why is it everybody believes that when you have a book out that you it you're gonna be on Oprah's couch or you're gonna be on her jet soon? Yeah, a guy well, I I I finally we finally had to cut ties. He kept on saying, you know, after all the year in and year out, I thought he was my my manager. He wanted to know what book sales were, and it's like brother, I'm like, if everybody that gets published is super wealthy, you'd have academia, those guys would be like getting laid like Stephen Hawking on the island, man.
Erase Objections With Clarity Frames
SPEAKER_01It's just if you're if you are J.K. Rowling and you call up your publisher and say, you know what? I'm bringing Harry Potter back, messenger me a check for five million pounds. They'd rush that check to her faster than flat. Or if you're Stephen King and you say, I've written the most horrifying novel yet, I need uh but I need in advance, you got it. But unless you're in that position, your book is a great calling card. It credentializes you, gives a podcast post something to go through. But I I'm not knocking that. That's neither here nor there. I really want to get back to the topic of focus. Of course. And why the lack of focus, the lack of trust in themselves. How can you focus when you have too many options? That's this is the other thing. How can you decide when you have too many options? You can't decide if you can't focus. You can't decide when you just have too many options. And that's that is something. This is one of the ways I teach people to crush an objection. I don't want to crush objections. I want to erase them. I want to create hypnotic amnesia for objections by confusing people. For example, oh, we need to interview some other vendors. Oh, we're we need to talk to some other financial advisors before we decide where we're going. And standard answers would include: well, what can we do? What can we show you that would make you feel motivated to go with us or blah, blah, blah, bullshit. I teach them to say, hey, I understand. Can I ask a question? Have you ever been in the position where the more options you had, the more confusion occurred. So the harder it became to make a good decision. Now that is a counterexample. Everyone's been in that position. Now, the very thing they say will help them make a great decision, you've repositioned it as guaranteeing they're going to fail. So now the brain associates looking at other options with failure, which opens them to going with you. And at that point, I would say maybe it's not about more options, but about the clarity you need to recognize it's safe to move forward today. So thinking about like that, heart to heart, human to human. I promise you, you won't hurt my feelings. If it's a hard no, I've heard it before. Look at this space. I'm humanizing myself. So just speak. What's on your mind? What's on your heart? Now I've taken myself from being positioned as someone who's pressuring into a human being who's just there to offer clarity and is being humble. That's how you turn things around. And they can never go back to thinking about that objection of, well, I need to talk to more people because you've erased it, you've associated it to pain. You've redefined everything, you've reset the frame. It's just about clarity. Of course, they want to go with you. They just need more clarity. You've done all of that through the use of suggestion, implication, being artfully vague. Not by being clear, not by saying, well, you know, I just have to say, those other people, good on them. They're probably great and they probably mean well. But look at our firm. We've been in business 30 years. Here's a roster of five of our top corporate clients, blah, blah, blah. They don't want to hear facts. If facts had impressed them, they would have already signed up with you. So learning to be artfully vague, deliberately artfully confusing, makes people suggestible and creates those states again, focus, trusting themselves, amplifying their trust in you, finding their own reasons to make the decision subconsciously, getting them to convince themselves to buy. That's the easiest, most effortless type of sale where you don't have to argue with people. And again, I address this to people who are already doing extremely well, but you've hit that ceiling and want to break through it. And it's not you. It's not your fault. It's not that your team is being lazy or they're unmotivated or any of that. It's just that modern consciousness, you can't squeeze old techniques into modern, narrow, distracted, disorganized, ADDHD consciousness. They just won't go in. It's round peg in a square hole.
SPEAKER_03Oh, Paul, you just stated the obvious thing. Traditional sales training is just obsolete. But yeah, why why is it it's incomplete schooling? They we we we still we still train people that way.
SPEAKER_01I'll tell you why. I know how this works. Back when I was a young, aspiring comedy writer, I actually wrote a movie that got made, but they cut all but three of my scenes. I wrote a terrible abortion of a movie called They Still Call Me Bruce. Watch it with someone who you hate, ladies and gentlemen. Anyway, no, you've seen They Call Me Bruce, not They Still Call Me Bruce. Oh, okay. No, no, same comedian, uh, much lower production values, terrible. I don't want to get into it. I'm trying to erase that chapter in my life. But anyway, I was being taught how to write comedy by a very famous comedy writer. And he had a producer come in of uh sitcoms. Back then, sitcoms were all the rage. And he said, Now, listen to me, students. You have to understand producers are a different species. Producers are born on an island called Producer's Island. And on that island, the most important thing is you copy what's already working. You never, it's forbidden on Producers Island to ever be original, to break the mold, because you have to be able to go over to executive, studio executive islands, and say, this failed, but it's not my fault. It was just like the Brady Bunch or Green Acres. These are shows you guys out there, guys and gals won't remember. So now uh sales managers are going, hmm, I can try this technology, I can try this. And if it doesn't work, well, it's not my fault. I can point to statistics and say, Don't blame me. It used to work, must be something wrong, but it's not my fault, or it's the technology. Uh it used to work, it works for so-and-so. And the people who are providing the sales stuff can go, well, look, it's working for so-and-so and so-and-so. It must be something wrong with you. Rather than pointing out again and again, I'll come back to it until your audience gets bored with me. Consciousness has changed. So you have to deal with it.
SPEAKER_03Now, what percentage of buying decisions these days then is subconscious, you would say.
SPEAKER_01I don't know how you want and what units of measurement you would quantify it. How do you quantify it? But I would say it's driven. The drivenness comes from the subconscious. There's a point in the sale where you have to address the conscious mind. When it comes to the actual facts, figures, numbers, data, then you better be effing clear. You better show the clear numbers, you better show that you understand, and you better address the conscious mind. But there's a time to be vague and even artfully confusing at the beginning of the sale when there's objections. And then even as you wrap it up, so I don't know how to quantify percentages, what units, uh joules, Newtons, watts, volts, but I would say 80% of it is driven by the subconscious.
SPEAKER_03Good enough, brother. Yeah. So selling subconscious. Then what is it that most people, when they're selling something, what are they doing wrong?
SPEAKER_01First and foremost, they're in the wrong state. Their state of consciousness is one where they're grasping at results or they're leaning into fear, their neurology is in fight, is in sympathetic mode. Fight, flight, fear, freeze, collapse. They are outcome-oriented. I teach you are champions are interested in the sale, but they're invested in their skills. And a breakfast of bacon and eggs, the pig is invested, the chicken is interested. So you want to be invested in your skills, calm in your body, breathing from the belly, outward focused, quiet your mind. Now, this is easier said than done. This is why I have techniques of how I train to get people to quiet their mind. If if you're going, there's almost only so much real estate, if you will, in consciousness. If you're busy yakking to yourself, then you can't pay attention to the prospects' responses. You can't track where you're going, you can't do any of it. So you have to be quiet in your mind. You have to be in a neutral state, not in a peak state. God bless Tony Robbins. He brought NLP to millions of people, otherwise, wouldn't have heard of it. And Tony talks about peak state. Now, listen, I went to see Tony in a stadium of 40,000 people. It was the uh the pond, the Anaheim pond where the ducks play or play the duck. All right. Tony had to be in a peak state to teach 40 to get through to 40,000 people. Ironically, he did something where he said, now repeat after me, I am the leader. And 40,000 little uh sheep bleeded out, I am the leader, I will lead and not follow, I will lead and not follow, not getting the irony.
SPEAKER_03And I yelled, I am the voice of good.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I yelled out, I won't. But the point is, he had to be in a peak state. If you go into a meeting with a prospect and go, Yeah, you scare the fuck out of him.
SPEAKER_03So I want you to be especially if you did that, like you know, the if you clap your hands the way Tony does, you know.
SPEAKER_01I want you to be, I don't want you to be in a powerful state or a pleasant. I want you to be in an optimal state. What is the optimal state to be in? Excuse me, I have allergies. I'm so sorry. Very distracting. How do you get in that optimum state? That optimal state where you're externally focused, you're present in your body, you're capable of utilizing. I'm so sorry, the responses that you get. How do you get there? This is why I teach a little bit, just a little bit of meditation techniques and some stuff I learned from some trauma-based therapy, some therapeutic approaches that deal somatically with what goes on in the body. By the way, my boss here, my executive assistant is here. This is Laulele. La Lele is Hawaiian for jumping leaf or dancing leaf.
SPEAKER_02That means thoughts jump in and out of her brain because she's not too bright. That was a distraction, but I love cats. What can I say?
SPEAKER_03Uh I love them too. Uh the only words I know Hawaiian are the Haile, which is a white person, pacalolo, marijuana, mahalo.
SPEAKER_01Pacalolo, I don't do any substances. But all right, so where were we? Take a breath. Omar, wouldn't it be interesting if you were to go into trance only as fast as you began to notice the feeling of your elbow against the table, the rhythm of your breathing beginning to shift. And that internal dialogue that says, What's he trying? Is this working? Grows quieter and quieter in ways that surprise you.
SPEAKER_02That's right. You've softened the focus of your eyes, your facial muscles have flattened out.
SPEAKER_01That's right. Anyway, I'm fucking with you. Let's keep going. Did you feel a little shit?
SPEAKER_03Yeah. But you know, I've done the woo-woo, man.
SPEAKER_01You know, I don't think it's woo, I think it's precise.
Pattern Interrupts For Tough Objections
SPEAKER_03Oh, I I you need all the above, brother. No. Objections, are they comp are they real or do people just use them as defense mechanisms?
SPEAKER_01Both. Both. A defense mechanism is a real thing. But objections to me, the best way to get around them, and I'll tell you how I learned this. I learned it in my seduction and dating career, is something we call a pattern interrupt. Let me explain. Humans are meaning and pattern-making machines. Ladies and gentlemen, when you were little children, you were laying on the grass and looking up at the clouds, you formed patterns that weren't really there. Clouds are just moisture, they're just cool air filled with moisture. But you saw, maybe you saw dragons or cars or whatever it is. Your brain interprets things. Now, people go along with fixed patterns. When you break that pattern of expectation, they become very, very suggestible. And you have that temporary, quick, narrow window of suggestibility through which they can be strongly led. I'll give you an example. I learned this learning how to pick up women. So a typical objection I would get with this face is why don't you give me your number? Back in your single days, you probably heard that, Omar. I don't know. Most guys would either do the following: argue with her, beg, try to knock down the competition. I learned to break their pattern, to interrupt what they expected me to say. I would say, now, Debbie, why would I put the burden of making sure we get the connect again on your shoulders? Isn't that my job as the man? And I'd hand her the phone. So what I'm doing is reversing the meaning. The meaning she's making is, I've got something you want, Paul. You can't have it. I'm tearing around and going, Wow, I appreciate your enthusiasm of wanting to see me again, Debbie, but it's not your job. I'll handle it. So it began to show me, teach me how to do these pattern interrupts. So let's give you an example of a pattern interrupt. You've been in sales, you know how this works. One of the most common objections, besides I need to talk to my spouse, is I need more time to think it over. You've heard that one, yes?
SPEAKER_03In everything, in everything, yes. That that's that's the probably number one.
SPEAKER_01So, what are some typical traditional sales responses for that?
SPEAKER_03Well, with uh the well, I need to go speak to your spouse.
SPEAKER_01Well, forget that one for now. Let's deal with I need more time to think it up.
SPEAKER_03Now, what's there more time to think about? I mean, I've that I've that that's the number one thing that you're you're supposed to say is you're you're supposed to revive you know, you you're you're supposed to have a sense of urgency.
SPEAKER_01No, that's just driving them into feeling like they're being pressured. What's there more to think of it? That's that's a high pressure thing. I want to confuse them, I want to shock them. So if they say to me, I need more time to think it over, I'll say, Hey, I understand. Can I ask you a question? Have you ever taken a long time to think something over? And it still turned out to be a horrible decision. Maybe it's not about time. Let's laugh of unconscious recognition. Maybe it's not about time, but about the clarity you need to recognize a great decision's being made. So thinking about it like that, as we continue to share this conversation, our conversation together, just tell me, human to human, heart to heart, what's on your mind? If the answer is no, I've heard it before. Look at this face. Just please, what's on your heart? Share with me. You see, so what have I done? I've so shocked them by interrupting their pattern by doing something they're not expecting, they become suggestible. I now link the objection to a time when doing what they want to do actually led to failure and pain, implying that they better do something different, meaning do what I want.
SPEAKER_03Because usually when they do take time, uh the most likely outcome was always the wrong one to begin with.
SPEAKER_01Right. And I'm reframing the hesitation as being about a need to find more clarity, which implies oh, once I find the clarity, the the clarity, I'll then have the certainty to decide. And remember, I didn't say a great decision to move for or buy today, I said a great decision is being made. So I'm being vague again. So I'm combining shock, redefining meaning, setting the meaning frame, and being very vague, all of which stacks on top of each other. It's not one plus one. It's not, if you have five points of persuasion power using suggestibility, and five points of being vague, and five points of redefining the meaning, they don't add, they multiply. So it's not 15 points of persuasiveness, it's 25 times five is 125 points, however, you reach that. And so that's the power of doing this. Facts if either subtract or they add up. Suggestions multiply.
Fear Reframes And Weak Phrases
SPEAKER_02Remember that when you're applying this. Now a salesperson's ability to close. What role does fear play in it?
SPEAKER_01You mean fear on the part of the salesperson? Fear on the part of Yes, yeah. When it comes to closing, I'd do people I can get rid of any salesperson's fear right now, just listening, by reframing what a sale is. See, remember you're never selling the product or service, you're always selling decisions and good feelings about decisions. Decisions come from what state of consciousness you're you're in. Let me give you an example. If you've just been in a car accident, God forbid, your ability to make a decision about whether you want roofing or not goes straight out the window. Because you're pumped with and you're pumped with adrenaline and epinephrine and everything else. Your body's prepared to fight, survive, etc. If you're being, if you have your baby bouncing on your knee, you're flooded with oxytocin and dopamine, you're going to make a different set of decisions. So, all that said, because you're selling those decisions, your prospect doesn't believe they can have what you have to offer. They don't believe they deserve it, they don't believe it'll work for them. When you expand someone's consciousness to include new possibilities, when you get past all that conscious resistance, and you can get your prospect to expand their consciousness to include your ideas, to include possibilities they never believed that they could have for their health, their safety, their status, whatever it is, when you can expand that, you're doing them a favor. You're doing something that's very healing. You're changing their beliefs about what they can enjoy, what they can have, what they deserve. That's healing. Now, you probably have never thought of yourself when you think of yourself as a salesperson, as someone who's doing healing work, who's doing heroic work. But the moment you free reframe it as that, the moment you reframe it as you're offering a gift, then you can't be afraid. What's the worst that can happen when you offer a gift? Someone doesn't pick it up or they hand it back to you. So you haven't lost. So reframing it. I teach, I used to teach guys, I don't teach seduction anymore. I just quit. If you want to hand me a quarter million dollars for uh some training, look me up, Google me. I'm not gonna give out you have to put in the work and find me. I'll talk to you. But I used to reframe it instantly. I used to say, you don't have approach anxiety, you have opportunity hesitation. So, ladies and gentlemen, you don't have fear of rejection, you have opportunity hesitation. Try on that reframe. See the power of language, just try it on. No, you don't have fear of rejection, you have opportunity hesitation. Completely different, and you never sell, you only extend opportunities for your prospects. Extend opportunities. I like that. Your prospect to expand the range of what they can enjoy, what will improve the quality of their life, what will make them happier, healthier, wealthier, and increase their status. Never underestimate the perception of higher status as being a driver of human behavior because we're social creatures. As you rise in status, you ensure your survival, that the pack is not going to kick you out. There's some very primal primitive impulses that we need to weave into our selling. That uh, as well as appealing to the subconscious, what I'm teaching is also the neurobiology of selling, all rolled into one, along with my obnoxious personality.
SPEAKER_03Paul, what's one phrase that just weakens the authority in sales? That weakens my authority or that weakens the sales guy. Let's say I'm pitching and it's an over. Is there any overused phrase that it's just like nails on a chalkboard to you that that just yeah?
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah. Now, um, tag questions, tag lines. Does that sound right? Don't you and reusing the person's name over and over. Jim, does that sound right? Now, Jim, does this make sense to you? Jim, don't you want to move forward on this today? Uh though that kind of shit. Nah, uh here's the problem. A tactic identified is a tactic disarmed, and your competition is using it, and your prospects are both dumbed down by and numbed out, but they're also more sophisticated because they've heard all of it before and they've seen it all before. So that's the problem. I would say the question, those tagline questions and using the person's name over and over and over and over.
SPEAKER_03So instead of that that's just something that, you know, oh, if we use their name, it's gonna connect. Because oh my god, they remembered my name. Yeah, it's the old Subway or the Starbucks. That's the reason why they write down the person's name on the cup of coffee because I am someone now, he knows my name.
SPEAKER_01If you do it once or twice in a 90-minute presentation, I get it. Okay, we're repeating it over in the tag questions and I get it.
SPEAKER_03Besides doing okay, we'll scratch the record, change the focus on that one. How can someone upgrade their language right now?
SPEAKER_01Well, they can. I I I don't want to reveal the no, yeah.
SPEAKER_03I'm not telling you to reveal your secrets, just like no, no, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_01I have something for the audience that we'll talk about at the end of the show that I created specifically and only for your podcast audience. We'll get to that later. But people need to first and foremost recognize the principle. I'll keep coming back to it. You're not selling decisions, you're not selling your product, you're selling decisions and good feelings about decisions. So the first thing you ask yourself is not how do I present the product, is what state of mind do I want my prospect to be in, and how quickly and effectively and efficiently can I get them there with the least amount of effort on my part. So let's say I want them in a state of absolute focus and absolutely trusting themselves. I can't, even as a very powerful hypnotist, I can't go up to a prospect and say, no, Mr. Smith, in a minute, you're gonna breathe in and you're gonna breathe out. You're gonna breathe out and you're gonna bring it in. And you're growing more and more sleepy. And when I count backwards from 10 and snap my fingers, you will feel trust in yourself, view me as an unquestionable authority, and focus in on every word I say. 54321. Can't do that. But you can achieve the same hypnotic effect by using suggestive language strung together in a vague way. Again, I give here's the words, and I teach us in my instant trust quick start training, which I'll tell you all how to get for free. No, no charge. Before we begin our exploration together today, can I invite you to please share the questions that naturally arise when a great decision is being made? What states am I installing there? What states of consciousness am I engineering and sort of tickling to come to life?
SPEAKER_03To me, it's togetherness. We're in this together. We're the choice. We're doing this together. You're not telling me what I need to do. We're we're gonna decide together. Okay. Correct. It's like complete ownership, you and I.
SPEAKER_01It's the illusion, the illusion of co-creation participation. The illusion. But the illusion is sufficient to get the job done. What was it? My meditation teacher, Shenzhen, taught me. Never in order to fight illusion, you have to use illusion. I may be misquoting him. He's the most intelligent human being I ever met in my life. Like sitting across from Albert Einstein. Did you catch that anchor?
Resilience And The Mission Mindset
SPEAKER_02I did it obvious, so you can see it. Yeah. No. What limiting belief did you personally have to overcome?
SPEAKER_03No, for say to be because I I mean, did you always have were you always this cool, calm, collected?
SPEAKER_01No. Oh no, I was a mess, dude. I was a mess, an absolute mess. No, I had to climb rung by rung. My father and mother put incredible determination into me. My greatest strength is not intelligence, being a great speaker, being great looking. Look, ladies, and all natural for you. Yeah, none of it. No, those things had to be developed. I had no emotional intelligence, no social skills. But you know what I have? And I got it from my dad. Resilience. I can honestly say I am the most resilient human being I've ever met because I've been through so much, but physically resilience as well. I got that from my dad. My father bless his memory, bless his memory be for a blessing, as we Jewish people say. My father went through three open heart surgeries. He would recover and be up and moving around the house within three weeks. When you're really supposed to be bedridden, back days, back those then, they cracked your chest open to do the surgeries. My father would be up and running within four or five weeks. He'd be out of my mother, it was furious. I recall how she tongue-lashed him and castigated him and scolded him for that, but he didn't care. He went through World War II, got wounded with shrapnel. They never got it all out. Shrugged it off. I get resilience from my father, and I get my insatiable need to learn and to figure things out from my mom. And one day my mother said, I'll never forget. She bent down, she shook her finger at me, she said, Remember, Paul, I didn't have my kids for me. I had you kids for the world. And that put in my mind at six years old, oh, I have a mission to do, to be of service and change the world. She put that idea in my mind. She was one of my two greatest teachers of my life. My mother, three, four. My mother, Richard Bandler, who created NLP, who I studied with, Xin Zhen Young, the most brilliant human being I've ever met by far. I've never met anyone who comes close. He's my meditation teacher. And then the man who taught me how to write copy. I wouldn't have made a penny without this person, Gary Halbert, who is the greatest living copywriter of the 20th century, I believe, in my opinion, with the money I made from him. So I have an I'm very resilient from my father. I have an insatiable desire to learn. And I grew up in a culture, Jewish culture, uh, that encourages scholarship and learning. That's why I think we Jews have survived. Our culture is portable. You can pack it up and take it anywhere you go because it's based on certain I'm serious.
SPEAKER_03No, I I I agree. I agree.
SPEAKER_01So that's uh that's the story of how I got where I am. If I can see further, I have stood on the shoulders of giants. I mean, real giants. I'm not trying to be falsely humble. I'm telling you the truth. And I have a team. Omar, this is a piece of, but the people I teach already know this. You're already successful, so you already know. If you don't have a team of really dedicated people around you who want to be of service and know what they're doing, I don't care how good you are. You're fucked. I have a really great team. I was fortunate. They just walked into my lives or were introduced to me. I didn't have to go hunting them down. I've been blessed with teachers, blessed with mentors, blessed with parents, blessed with um a teen. I I couldn't have created it on my own. Something put it in my path or had me born into it.
SPEAKER_02Amen.
SPEAKER_03You can't can't put you in a box, brother.
SPEAKER_01Well, you know, I like to say I think outside the box, disconnect the dots, color outside the lines, and occasionally say fuck. That's me.
SPEAKER_03Well, if someone wants just a simple sales advantage with ASAP immediately. What can they implement?
Free Training And Closing Takeaways
SPEAKER_01Like right now, starting tomorrow morning. Take on the following please take this away. You don't have fear rejection, you have opportunity hesitation, you're never selling your product or service, you're always selling decisions, excuse me, and good feelings about decisions. Before you think of the actions you want your clients to take, your prospects to take, think what state of mind do I want them in, what states of consciousness. Do that now. If it's time to do so, uh, your audience has given me tremendous value. What they've given me is their time and their focus and their attention. Nowadays, particularly with already successful people, the people I work with, those are precious resources. They've given value. I need to give value back. I have been taught and trained by my parents to be service-minded and impact-driven. So, with your permission, I have created something only for the listeners of this podcast. That's it. You can't get it anywhere else. It's two components. My instant trust quick start training, it's about seven-minute video training. This will get your prospects to uh trust themselves, trust you, and become very suggestible in the first three to five minutes of conversation. Then the second component I only give to my$25,000 VIP clients. My fees have gone way up since then. You can't buy it anywhere. It's my subconscious selling conversion vault. This is every language pattern you need to not see the light at the end of the tunnel, but remove it. You can only get it by going to sell with suggestion forward slash what if. So it's www.sell with suggestion forward slash what if. I made it specifically and only for the audience of this podcast to give back to to give value to value for the value you've all given me, your time and attention. What can be more valuable than that? It wouldn't be fair not to share something of of equal or greater value. So that is what I have. I hope it's appropriate to have shared that.
SPEAKER_03Of course, brother. Of course. And just I want to know your definition. If selling isn't about selling, what is it truly about, Paul?
SPEAKER_01I didn't say it's not about selling. I said selling is the process of getting people to convince themselves to buy for their own reasons that they never even need to consciously know. It is the process of selling decisions and good feelings about decisions by engineering consciousness, by expanding consciousness to include different states of mind where they want to give you those behaviors, where they want to, they feel the irresistible urge to sign the contract, give you the credit card, enroll in the program, not because of the facts, figures, data, features, benefits. Those are nice. That's the icing on the sales cake. But because they've emotionally, unconsciously convinced themselves to buy, because you are showing up in that state where you're grounded, focused, outward-centered, quiet mind with the knowledge that engineering states and how to do it is what matters, and that you can then put through those filters all the actual product information. That's the key. That is the key. That's how I take teams who are already doing very well, highly competitive at the top of their field. Don't show them light at the end of the tunnel. Remove the tunnel completely so they see with completely new eyes a different process that they can then insert into what's already working for them. If you're struggling, I apologize, it's not for you. The free stuff will take you a long way, but uh I can't, you won't be able to get the kind of results uh that you otherwise would if you're not already really successful.
SPEAKER_03And Paul, I know how to find you. But yeah, how can people connect with you?
SPEAKER_01Uh well, let's see. You can go, you can, hmm, there's a lot of different ways. You can Google me, grab my book, Subtle Words That Sell. We have got five stars on Amazon. You can go to my YouTube channel, sell with suggestion. Where else can you find me? You can find me on LinkedIn. I don't have my LinkedIn profile at the moment. You'll probably my team will reach out to your producers and um for sure. For sure. Find me on LinkedIn. I don't do TikTok. Uh I used to I don't do TikTok.
SPEAKER_03Paul, you you you know what you you should do is give tips on how to pick up on TikTok.
SPEAKER_01Listen, I quit, like I said, I quit that job because after 30 years, 35 years, doing what you love can become boring. But again, listen, if you got a quarter million dollars to drop into my lap, there you go.
SPEAKER_03There there's there's always there's always an offer, right?
SPEAKER_01Find me. No, you find me, Google Paul Ross, get laid. And I'm serious and see what comes up. You'll see my alter ego, Ross Jeffries. But I'm not talking to those people today. I'm serious. It's a quarter million to work with me on that, but I will get your result. You'd be shocked at the number of highly successful men who think to yourself, I have such great intelligence. I have such a great work ethic. I'm a CEO, I lead this entire company, or I've built my own business. Why can't I use the same work ethic and intelligence to figure out women? Those people are out there, but I'm not here to talk to them today. I am here addressing people who are already highly successful. You want to stop getting just little movements of the needle, do exponentially better, break through that ceiling, dominate your market again, and maybe even hear the cries of your competition as their bones are crushed and the weeping and wailing of their children. If you're that competitive, I love you.
SPEAKER_03Sounds like cone in there for a second. That was literally word for word. Brother, thank you for the time. Thank you for the hour. Thank you for being you. Thank you for helping people become better at the art of selling, brother. Have an outstanding rest of your night. Thank you. My trainer, Katie,'s gonna come kick my