How To Build A Stronger Marriage And Life Through Service

A book titled “How I Lost My Left Nut And Other Life Lessons” sounds like a joke until you hear the depth behind it. We sit down with Kevin Davis, founder of Maxed Out Man, to talk about the kind of resilience you can’t fake, the failures you learn from in public, and why integrity is easier than maintaining a curated image for the rest of your life.

Kevin lays out a simple, hard-working framework for men’s personal development that connects the dots between mindset, fitness, faith, entrepreneurship, and marriage. We get into the three pillars he teaches: man (health, mindset, faith), mission (business, community, purpose), and marriage (servant leadership and pursuing your spouse with intention). If you’re tired of “hustle” advice that ignores your home life, this conversation brings it back to what actually holds everything up.

We also challenge the modern instincts that keep people stuck: chasing validation, consuming endless content without implementation, and defining success as money or status. Kevin shares why serving others is not just moral, it’s practical, and why “fall forward” is the only way to build a life you respect. You’ll hear concrete ideas you can use right now, plus where to find Maxed Out Man, the Activated Marriage Toolkit, and upcoming retreats.

If this hits home, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find the message. What’s one area of your life you’re ready to max out?

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Transcript

Welcome And The Wild Book Title

SPEAKER_00 0:01

I never told no one that my whole life I've been holding back. Every time I load my gun up, so I can shoot for the star.

SPEAKER_04 0:09

I hear a voice like everybody, another day, another dollar, another one of my favorite episodes of my favorite podcasts, because I am biased. Welcome back. So what if it did work? Today's guest proves that sometimes the hardest lessons in life become the greatest stories you'll ever tell. Kevin Davis, entrepreneur, husband, coach, founder of Maxed Out Man. For more than 25 years, he's helped people build stronger businesses, healthier marriages, and more meaningful lives. But his wisdom didn't come from reading textbooks, it came from living through failure, pain, success, near tragedy, and rebuilding stronger every single time. His new book, I love the title, one of the most unforgettable titles you'll ever hear. You should add Lance Armstrong write the floor to this. How I lost my left nut and other life lessons. Behind the humor is a powerful message about resilience, faith, entrepreneurship, marriage, and becoming the man you're capable of becoming. Kevin, welcome to What If It Did Work. How's it going, brother?

SPEAKER_01 1:18

It's going awesome. Thank you so much for having me. I absolutely love it that I titled the book just to hear other people try to say it, which is just uh it just cracks me up.

SPEAKER_04 1:30

Dude, I'm Jen X, I'm vulgar. My my mom's only 20 years older, so she took me to the movie theaters to see like stripes, there you go. So I've I've got a warp, dude. Just a title like that. Okay, I'm an author. I love the title. It's it's for it it hits you in the face. And what your message, because you know what? The world right now is full of bullshit with social media, which is illusions, and not only just social media,

Calling Out Fake Gurus

SPEAKER_04 2:05

but gurus, these snake oil salesmen, some 20-year-old that wants to be your life coach, like it's like, brother, I've got shirts older than you, all the way to the famous gurus that that have like a multi-level marketing platform. I will teach you happiness and success for the world. It's free. You joined no, it's not really free. Yes, for it, it's based price, a thousand dollars. You pay a thousand dollars.

SPEAKER_01 2:32

Marriage, marriage, marriage coaches on their fourth marriage. I love that one.

SPEAKER_04 2:36

Oh, dude, that that was uh I'm divorced, I was married for almost 20 years, but you'll laugh. My uh when we were going through it, uh went went to the therapist, and I asked her point blank. I'm like, so I know you're married, and she's like, Yeah. It's like how many times have you been married? And she's like, Well, three times.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

This is my third marriage, and it was like that is should we just stop by the should we just stop by the attorney's office on the way home?

SPEAKER_04 3:06

And you're gonna save me? That that that's like having a lifeguard. That's like, yeah, can you swim? Yeah, man. I but you know what? I've watched it on YouTube. I I think I can save you.

SPEAKER_01 3:19

Yeah, it's I mean, everybody, you know, as the Gary Chapman used to say you can't unscramble eggs, right? But I've I figure if you on your third, fourth, or whatever, you're good at getting married, not being happily married, and so you know, which is fine, everybody has their thing, but like let's not try to teach other people, you know. The let's learn from like two and a half weeks from now, my 31st anniversary. It gets better, literally, it's better now than it was 20 years ago.

SPEAKER_04 3:48

So happy anniversary.

SPEAKER_01 3:49

Thank you very much. I'm surprised I'm still alive.

SPEAKER_04 3:52

She watches a lot of dateline, so uh, she will definitely, you know, every woman I I've never met uh from my past life, my uh whether it's my ex-wife, ex-girlfriends, I don't know, man, because uh it's like it's creepy. It's like and women

True Crime Culture And Dark Curiosity

SPEAKER_04 4:10

also love to watch about serial killers, yeah, like Netflix has them hooked. It's like, well, you you know, Gacy's been dead for like over 30 years. We don't need uh or and Ted Bundy, and it's like, okay, oh, we're gonna make a movie. We're gonna we're gonna the lost tapes. Here's the lost tapes, Kevin. It's like holy shit, my whole life. You know, I was sitting in high school. I remember sitting in high school and they executed him, and I was like, you know what? I I one day I really hope to hear the interviews.

SPEAKER_01 4:45

I will confess I actually do like the true crime, but it's it's gotten bad enough where I'm like, I know we've watched this story, but was it dateline or 48 hours or 2020, or was it a Netflix thing?

SPEAKER_04 4:57

And usually the answer is yes, it was all of them, all the above, because they they all they all do, they it's a race, yep. And it's like there's more and more. It's like the Murdoch now guy, yeah, and then like all we have to do is wait another two, three months. Some some sinister, some nefarious guy out there that's even and it's like it's like okay, man. Uh come on, get it.

SPEAKER_01 5:24

Murdoch is a great example because Murdoch literally they did an entirely new special to say he had a technical problem with his trial and got out. And that was the meeting. That was an hour-long show to say that.

SPEAKER_04 5:39

Oh, my my my last axe was like consumed. She's like, have do you know who the Murdochs are? I'm like, No, but you're gonna tell me. You know, I'm I'm I'm at the 2005 to 10 range, you know, of all these nefarious people, you know.

SPEAKER_01 6:05

You're still back on John Wayne Bobbitt.

SPEAKER_04 6:07

That's the you know, that's oh man, I was I I was a freshman in college and and I was just like glued. But but this shows you your book, Nut. We all love our dicks, we all love our balls, because 30 something years ago, we could reattach a man's dick to his body. I'm I'm thinking 30 years from I'm like, we're gonna have flying cars, we're gonna have a cure for cancer. No, but we we can't we can't reattach a man's dick.

SPEAKER_01 6:38

I mean, they do extension surgery, they do enhancement surgeries, which if you I mean, I I don't know why this shows up in my algorithm, I'll be honest, but it's like they they no longer function correctly, and you can't feel anything. So I'm like, so who are you like? Are you just walking around with your dick out all the time? Like, why would you get that done if it doesn't actually improve anything?

SPEAKER_04 7:02

I I tell people all the time, whenever I see that, or there's a rumor, what such and such, had one. All you have to do is carry around your fidelity, make your fidelity statement, or or Charles Schwab, or show your phone, right? Yeah, yeah, man. I mean, come on, that you can have the you can have a micro penis, and that account has enough zeros in it. A chick will be like, Oh my, you are it's a magic.

SPEAKER_01 7:29

They say money

TRT Talk And Performance Myths

SPEAKER_01 7:30

is a magnifier, right? It is it's just what's a it just puts a different meaning to that.

SPEAKER_04 7:35

It's I've I've everything that I've read, and I I we're about the same age because I see the same friggin' reels, and they know we work out, right? So it's it's all it's always about TRT, it's all about every peptide. It's like yes, you have it. It reminds me of those commercials with um Chuck Norris. If you like working out hours in the gym, then total fitness is not for you. And it's the same thing. I'll I'll just get some Stromoralin and some TRT. All I have to do is work out 10-15 minutes a day three times a week, and shit, man, I'll be in the Olympia before you know it. That that's how all those reels make it look.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

Yeah, what they don't tell you is that the distance between uh bodybuilder level steroid use and TRT is about a 30 or 40-fold increase. Like the I'm on TRT, ironically, I'm on TRT. But again, because of the if you read the title of the book, right? I gotta be on TRT because there's a mechanical issue. But the dose that I my vial lasts me seven weeks. These guys are doing two or three of those, like two a day sometimes, usually three or four of those a week, in order to be like super steroid users, so it's a whole different book. Of course, they still have to lift though, you know.

SPEAKER_04 8:59

Well, I mean, that every everybody out there that's a hater, have you ever noticed like oh Lance Armstrong, Barry Bond? It's like man, if I was cycling, like some serious wind straw and all that, yeah. It yes, I I I I could I could go from 390 from was my deadlift. My I suck to all of a sudden like 500. What the fuck would that do in the grand scheme of things?

SPEAKER_01 9:29

It's not you know balance. The thing with Lance Armstrong is it's so unfortunate because he had a genetic variance that his body processes lactic acid almost instantaneously, so he could actually exercise. You know, lactic acid is when you're like at a full-on sprint, right? And it burns. He doesn't have that, and so he actually didn't really need the PDs to perform at a very high level, but you know, it obviously helped uh with certain things, but his resting heart rate, too, was yeah, super like 30 something, like it was ridiculous. Like he was a genetic freak, but then you had PDs on top of it, and then you just end up with this like superhero basically.

SPEAKER_04 10:08

I mean, we built him up, and uh he was an amazing athlete. Yes, he did so much for cancer, and people, and let's leave it at that. They couldn't all those seven that he won, they couldn't give it to the second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, everybody. Yeah, the only thing that we can get him for is for being a dick, just like everyone, you know, yeah, which we all are. Yeah, I mean, everybody that I I can't recall anybody that played. I mean, heck, Rafael Palmero was waving his fingers saying, I didn't uh I never used steroids to Congress, and he gets busted like yeah, you know, months later.

SPEAKER_01 10:48

I'm Mart Mart McGuire, who gained like 120 pounds of muscle in two seasons, you know, some of those so Sammy Sosa is the same way, you know, all those guys.

SPEAKER_04 10:59

But if you look at the bait I at their cards just a couple years before, then all of a sudden, you know, they they look

What Maxed Out Man Means

SPEAKER_04 11:05

like Lou Farick now. Yep, yep, for sure. And I I have to ask you though, man, because I love the name. Sure. I I mean I'm I'm a gym rat, so I know what what maxed out means, but where did the whole concept, the whole idea for maxed out man come from?

SPEAKER_01 11:24

So the goal with maxed out man, I just had this conversation. I'm getting ready to start coaching a 32-year-old guy that's about to get married. So, my whole goal with maxed out man, I'm fairly successful financially, I'm pretty fit, I'm extremely happily married after 31 years. And so my goal is, and I'm 53 years old. So, my goal is like, how do I get guys to be my age or older and actually have a better, successful life than I have? Right. Like learn from my mistakes, make better choice than I do, be better than me, and let me teach you from my experience, knowledge, and wisdom, whatever that looks like, along the way. So, maxed out man, it's funny because it's a bit of a double entendre because it's it's maxed, you know, people say, Well, I'm I'm maxed out, like I can't take anymore. But really, it's the opposite, which is we want to max out by optimizing everything in our lives. The three pillars are everybody has pillars, right? You're talking about gurus. Uh, man, mission, marriage, man is health, fitness, mindset, and faith. Mission is community, business, entrepreneurship, marriage is learning how to be a servant leader, pursuing your wife. We call it getting your PhD, pursuing her desires. And so it's really like, how do I serve my wife? How do I have the marriage that you know I'm I'm intended to have? And so with Max Out Man, it's it's one of these things where how do we help men of all ages kind of do better, be better, think better, and live better?

SPEAKER_04 12:55

Very novel concept, man. What I love, what you just said though, is pretty much how we should all live our lives to be in service. Because you mentioned community. Yeah, you mentioned your wife. A lot of times we don't people think they know what it means to be in service. I mean, it it's funny because you know, one of the all-time greats, not only in sales, but in business personal development, Zig Ziglar even said, was always service-oriented. Would always say, if you help out others accomplish their goals, that's the key to your success. But yeah, we live in the society that's always me, me, me, and the scarcity society. Like what the hell am I gonna help out all these people for Kevin? Where were they for me? Yep. You I'm sure I know you hear that all the time. Because when I and it it's like, man, are do you really live like that? It's like a it can't be a win-win for everybody. Uh it's I must win. If you lose, who cares? If you win, I still don't care. And to me, that that's always like, wow, man, what what a lonely existence, what a lonely way to live life, and and people live their lives like that.

SPEAKER_01 14:21

Yeah, and I mean, I think it's manifested in in some ways if you see some of these latest videos in the last few years where literally somebody is getting beaten up in public and no one comes to their aid. Oh my god, I

Service Culture Versus Narcissism

SPEAKER_01 14:35

get reels every day now. Yeah, it's just there was one actually, it was like, and we we you know circled this around because we're in the men's coaching space, right? Which is there was a a young gentleman with a young lady, she's they're probably in their early 20s. She begins to get mugged and he hides. And four other men, actual men, come to her aid and beat the crap out of the guy that was trying to monk her. And like that was a poignant example of like, we're not teaching young men how to be men. We live in a society now where you're kind of on your own. Like, I don't want to get involved. I'll take my phone out and watch you get your ass kicked or raped or killed, but I'm not going to intervene and help. And I know you and I, we didn't grow up in that kind of society, you know, at all. It's like, who do I help? Like, how do I, if I see that, whether it's my family, my friends, or just someone that looks like they're in need, I'm helping.

SPEAKER_04 15:30

How could you live with yourself? Hear me out, Kevin, being the friggin' person filming this while someone's getting mugged in the bus, yeah, while some kids getting like beat the hell up by three or four other kids, and you sit there and and your whole concern is I hope this video goes viral. Yep. It's like, why don't you friggin' stop filming and help that person?

SPEAKER_01 15:57

Well, I don't want I don't want to get involved. I might get sued, you know.

SPEAKER_04 16:01

Oh my god, when I hear that, when I hear that, it it's it's like, are you for real? Is that what it comes to? And and it's funny, I we're we're both men of faith. And then it's like this is how because people uh every empire collapses because of shit like that. The Roman Empire almost lasted a thousand years, but it it was a quick burn because literally the whole place went to shit. Yeah, narcissism, yes, and but that's that's the same path because uh I've I've got a minor in history, but history always repeats itself because when we see people struggling now, we people laugh or or like oh that that person got knocked the fuck out. Well, when when I and I'm like, are you that you maybe need to get the get knocked out if if you think that's funny?

SPEAKER_01 17:06

Yeah, you'll appreciate this. I've always said you you you will meet people in your life, and usually it's guys, but sometimes it's girls, where you can tell this guy has definitely never been punched in the face. Oh, exactly.

SPEAKER_04 17:20

Because I think that welcome to social media, right?

SPEAKER_01 17:24

It's like it because people that have actually been fun punched in the face don't say the stuff that people that have never done that. My wife is a boxer, and we do mitts, and uh on occasion I miss, I'm out of sync or whatever, and she's punched me in the face a ton, and she's a badass, she has an amazing right hook, and so I don't like getting punched in the face, but that's not the first time, right? So when you've been punched in the face, you realize there are consequences for the stupid crap that comes out of your mouth and the thing that you do.

SPEAKER_04 17:56

Oh, that the last time I got punched in my face. Well, way back in my younger days, fraternities, it's just glorified white guys in a gang. So in our fraternity house, they had a punching bag, and and uh everybody had to uh box with the bag, do do a few rounds. Well, one of my pludge brothers couldn't punch his way out of a paper bag, but I was holding the bag for him and he clear cross missed and knocked me and hit me right in the nose. Oh, and it it startled me, and I started bleeding. He's like, Are you okay? He's like, It's not the first time that I've ever been punched in the face, but I hope it's the last. And it was the last, but yeah, that's why. But back then, that's what I mean. We came from a generation like that. Yeah, for sure. Now everybody hides behind everybody wants to pretend they're like Lou Frigno or Dutch that friggin' Arnold Schwarzenegger, yep, because they're they're social media, they're behind the keyboard thousands of miles away, and you know you you you can flex your muscles. Yeah, would you tell that to someone in their face? Yeah, because that's the way I live. One, I I don't humiliate people. I right uh I'm like you, we're in service, we want to build people up. But what's the point? Any any idiot, any uh a monkey, uh an animal can tear things apart.

SPEAKER_01 19:32

What separates us is to build people up, yeah, and to try to serve others, right?

SPEAKER_04 19:38

Yeah, and and you know, pe oh, I I'm a Christian, I'm a Christian. Well, to be more like Christ, because that's why we're called Christians, to be more like Christ. Yeah, not not to go to mass, not to go to service, not to go to whatever church temple for an hour, come out and think just because you you serve you you spoke to God for an hour that you can treat treat the waitress, the hostess like garbage. Yeah, it's crazy. And uh you see we we see it, I'm sure you see it all the time, right? Yeah, on a Sunday, the man brings his whole family, his two wife, you know they're from mass, from service, or whatever, and they're belittling people. It's like, please tell me where you went so I don't get so I don't go there. Exactly. That's what goes through my mind. I'm like, yeah, are you crazy?

Consequences And Character In Public

SPEAKER_04 20:42

What are you doing? Yeah, you should be the first you you should be like the nicest man, you're you're a role model, you you are the protector of your family, you you and the team and the teacher and the leader, you're supposed to be.

SPEAKER_01 20:59

Yeah, you're supposed to be showing them what to be, and what you're doing is you're showing them what not to be, and that's what they learned. Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 21:07

Because I I I know you you talk about it, your your key theme, one of them's vulnerability. That's not being vulnerable, very vulnerable if you're ripping people and you're tearing them apart, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:20

You know, we we got introduced through BookThinkers and Nick and the and that crew, and and I'm actually speaking at their event in Boston in July, and and I'm talking about three things, which is the have fun, serve others, and build a life. And those are kind of like that becomes my decision tree on how I how I do it. But the serve others piece of it is what you and I have been talking about. And here's what's interesting about serving others in terms of you know, we're salespeople, we're trying to introduce ourselves, we're at events like that. If you take a servant's heart, you'll be so much more successful. Because every time I meet someone, my intention is to connect with them in a way that I Like, how can I serve you? Like, what do you what do you have going on and how can I help you with that? Versus let me give you my business card and tell you everything that you can do for me. And I think that that's something if you're a business person, try that next time. It'll make a huge difference.

SPEAKER_04 22:16

Well, you know what people don't realize is they want to throw up what they know. They want to sell you, they want to sell shoes to the person without feet. They don't understand sales to me. That's manipulation. When it's I could give a shit, I just want your credit card. Yep. A real sale happens when it's a win. You solve that person's problem, and because of that, he or she is paying you. The one thing that makes that people don't understand, too, to be great, because we're all in sales. Yeah. Everybody's in sales, whether you are or not. When somebody tells me that they're horrible in sales or they're not in sales, it I that's like chalk chalk, like nails on a channel. Fingernails on a chalkboard? Yeah. I'm like, whatever. But that's that's a topic for another one of our conversations. You have to listen to the other person. And you can't come from a place of judgment. Nope. Literally listen. Have empathy. Don't but the other person doesn't care what you know or where you came from. Let's bedazzle them with my knowledge. How can I help you? How can you solve my pain? Right there. How can I serve you? People don't understand. The reason why they love Chick-fil-A is because it's right there. How can I serve you? And people are wowed by it because they literally don't understand such a basic concept. You are you your whole book, your movement is a how can we teach, how can we serve, how can we serve you so we can have better men out there. Yeah. Because man, literally society is broken. And if people think that now people are broken. No, I think we're all broken.

SPEAKER_01 24:33

I mean, I literally think we're all broken.

SPEAKER_04 24:35

Well, we we're all flaws, but we see that and we don't live in the we don't live in the state of victim. Yeah. Because usually when you live in that state of victim, you're like, oh, I can piss all over these people because they don't know my story. It's like it doesn't matter where you came from. We've we've all you know, we nobody's had anything ideal, but you know, rise above it and be an example and show people that yes, whatever you overcame, they can overcome that too.

SPEAKER_01 25:08

Yeah, I did a video a couple weeks

Servant Selling And Listening Well

SPEAKER_01 25:10

ago. Um, and the the premise basically the video said it's it's I'm pretty sure that everything that's wrong in your life is probably your fault.

SPEAKER_04 25:19

Oh, 100%, man.

SPEAKER_01 25:21

But the backs, the back side of that, the back side of that is that's the good news because if it's your fault, you have the power to correct it. If you're a victim and you have absolutely no control, which you know it's it's very small to where you have no control over something that's happening, it's choices and timing and all that stuff. But the nice thing about it being your fault is you have the every opportunity to to correct it, to change course.

SPEAKER_04 25:47

Well, and also talk about being consistent. If you keep on Fell percent on your choices, yeah, just go the opposite direction, man. On everything. That's what I I I tell people. And oh, I made I made a bad choice, or when somebody wants to go through the let's play the Titanic theme song, it's like okay, okay, brother. Yeah, what you know, do we we, you know, God forgives you, Jesus forgives you, you know, you're here now.

unknown 26:23

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 26:23

And usually what with the best part, Kevin, is they talk about whatever trauma, like it just happened, like last week, last month, and then it's that knee jerk when you're like it 20 years ago. Right?

SPEAKER_02 26:38

Okay, okay, okay, right.

SPEAKER_04 26:39

Let's let's forgive ourselves, let's dust ourselves off and forward.

SPEAKER_01 26:44

Yeah, yeah. I mean, because we all make huge mistakes. We'd have no idea. I I we don't have any idea what we're doing on a day-to-day basis. I don't care if you're Tony Robbins or some convicted murderer. You still we're all just making this crap up as we go along.

SPEAKER_04 27:01

Tony Robbins even talks about his f ups. Yeah, that's what people what what people look at is the Z. They uh Tony Robbins talks about living in his car. I don't know how he fit in a Volkswagen. I know no seats in that thing, I guess. Exactly. To sleep in that, everybody doesn't understand that, you know. Yes, whatever decision, commit to it, and there's gonna be a lot of resolve. There's gonna but be a lot of times that you get punched in the face, but you have to you have to move forward.

SPEAKER_01 27:39

Well, yeah, like the whole book is really it's 17 of probably a thousand stories, right? And I was describing this to someone that it's it's a lot of um that's badass, and a whole lot of what a dumbass, right? Like that's the that's a journey that I take you through in the book, but it's just that it's like here's a bunch of ways that I failed, and hopefully you can learn from those failures. And here's a bunch of ways that I did really fun things and made good choices and and did that. It it's always funny. My girls are 28 and 26, and when they were teenagers, they would always try to complain to me about their life, like how bad they're I'm like, dude, you're an upper middle class white girl from Montana. The next time you get a beer bottle thrown at your head, come complain to me and we'll talk. And that was usually the end of the girls must be like mine, but but uh soon to be 21 and 19.

SPEAKER_04 28:33

And they always want. I I tell people just go grab the the drama llama, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:39

Drama llama, I love that it exactly.

SPEAKER_04 28:43

Uh a woman that I I used to date, their her whole friend group were toxic. And like they everybody wanted to one up each other on on their you know their lifetime movie story of their life and all. And I I I came uh some

Personal Responsibility Beats Victimhood

SPEAKER_04 29:05

a friend gave me a stuffed llama. I guess it was from like I it was a Christmas llama. I don't know where where it went, but I always wanted to tell her what I want you to do when you go out with your girlfriends, whoever is the most dysfunctional with the most toxicity for the week, carry her on the drama llama. And if if if they're still at it for months, then congratulations, man. That's that that's like the Super Bowl title of the the drama llama.

SPEAKER_01 29:36

Yeah, my daughter actually loves llamas, she's the 26-year-old, and I will say that was kind of teenagers. Now they're both like fully functioning, you know, they're adulting and they always complain like dad. I never understood why you turned off all the lights, and now that I pay my electric bill, I understand why there's light switches, you know, stuff like that.

SPEAKER_04 29:53

But well, because remember we always thought our parents were assholes, like, oh, turn everything off, you know, because we don't have bills, responsibility, you know, it was tough. We can't wait to be adults. I I remember, oh god, mom, enough is enough. And and now it's like, oh, the worst is you you go for a road trip for a weekend and you come back and the AC's running full blast, like it's a Louvre. It's like one, why is everything why is who forgot to put on up the air? And it's like, two, who's gonna do you know that do you know this bill? This bill like I'd rather throw money anywhere else except the electric company. Yes, are we trying to preserve like meat for the Rembrandt in here? You know, do we have Picasso's? Why is it so cold? Oh, that's hilarious, and people that never, you know, kids are you know when I when I I get my own place, yes, I'm I'm I can't wait to visit both of their places.

SPEAKER_01 31:02

Yeah, just go turn all the lights on, leave them on, turn their AC down, all the TVs on and just have a great time. Leave the refrigerator wide open for no good.

SPEAKER_04 31:12

And then complain. You don't have the right beer here. What what is this? Well, why do you have all that stuff? I love here's here's a I I know the book and I loved it. I have to ask, which story in it will make you just you make you laugh the hardest because all of them are I the book is filled with just like to me outlandish funny things. But is there something that sticks out? Because I've I've got shit that I've done that I didn't put in my book, but and I'm like, man, what what is that one key thing

Parenting Reality And The Drama Llama

SPEAKER_04 31:55

that you you just friggin'?

SPEAKER_01 31:56

It's it's probably chat, it's probably chapter one, which if you go to the Amazon, you know, book link, you can read it. Well, it's you know, it's basically like you know, the time I put a bottle rocket in my butt, you know. So like uh we had our kids home for the Fourth of July, and they haven't like this is all of them. Um, all of them have come come home with their significant others than them. And my daughter-in-law was like, Hey, would you do this? And I'm like, Absol freaking Lutley. And so let me preface it, but I did have shorts on, but I do a lot of squatch as we talked about working out, so I was able to put the bottle rocket and hold it there and then lit it, and it went off. You know, bottle rockets. If you're under the age of 30, the bottle rockets are back, which is actually pretty awesome because they went away for a while. I have like I literally laughed so hard, I almost passed out. For some reason, I thought that was so funny, and I have a video of it and all that kind of stuff. So I think from a humor standpoint, that's probably one of the crazier ones. In the book, the stories are intended to take you on a little bit of a journey, so it's like funny, poignant, funny, failure, funny. You know, it's so it's like, all right, well, let's try to keep this energy so it's not so it's not so depressing on some of the stuff.

SPEAKER_04 33:11

Well, because people go either two ways. They they want the oh my gosh, let's give Kevin a hug, let's give him a cyber hug. Let me send him a DM. Or two, we're like, holy shit, yeah, Kevin can walk on. I thought St. Peter and Jesus were the only ones to walk. I didn't realize Kevin had that same power, but so that I that's what I'd I'd I'd have to say. You you didn't do that, you wanted to show a your book has like a human side.

SPEAKER_01 33:45

All I hope so. Well, and like, dude, I mean again, I had to whittle it down because we have had so somewhere around 2008, 2009, we we adopted this, and I would encourage everybody to do this. It's basically a say yes to life mentality, which is we'll figure it out. Like, my wife is a is a stay-at-home mom-turned welder, car fabricator, boxer, painter. She does cake decorating at an extremely high level. She's she's a badass, but all of that was she kind of reinvented herself after the kids left, and so for me, it's like, all right, she was like, Well, can I go do this off-road rally? It's 10 days in the desert. Yeah, we'll figure it out. And so we started saying yes, and there's stories in the book about the Jeep, but that's really the whole premise of the book, is like these are stories from my life, and everybody can have crazy stories in their life, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_04 34:44

Amen. Now, Kevin, not only do you have a bit you're a businessman, you're an entrepreneur. I have to ask this. Why did you decide to be just completely honest, vulnerable, instead of just writing the polished business book that makes you look like Jack Welsh?

SPEAKER_01 35:07

Well, I'm not, first of all. What's interesting is that there's so

The Funniest Story In The Book

SPEAKER_01 35:10

much on social media that's curated, and we never have been. Like, we've we've always shown this side of ourselves that is the true side. Someone said the other day I had a sales call with them, and they're like, Yeah, I see you on social media. I don't even know if that's true. I'm like, it's it is true. Like everything that you see, granted, like, all right, this is the hook and this is the content and all that stuff, right? But I I just want to be who I am because there's a one of my core values is integrity. And I feel like if I I'm not smart enough to keep the lie going for the duration of my life, and I think that's what people forget. When you start to curate an image and it's so opposite of who you really are, or it's enough opposite of who you are, you basically have to live a lie all the time. And so, dude, how how exhausting is that? I'd rather just be me, tell the real stories. If you like me, great. If you don't, that's not really my problem. You know, like how can I serve you? What's your story? Why do you feel that way? That's what I usually like to ask. But really, a vulnerability for me is just is just what it's all about. With there's a story in the book about this jeep fire that we had where Michelle's Jeep caught on fire, and we actually had to fake a sad selfie with the car with the Jeep on fire because we weren't sad. We were like, awesome, we put it out. She was like, Great, I hated the interior anyway. Let's go get this. And I fabricated her a brand new interior. But the response that we had from that, and I talk about this in the book a little bit, which is people were like, they they really could not wrap their heads around the fact that we weren't angry, pissed off, depressed, all of this stuff because this cheap cutter. I'm like, dude, it's a it's a vehicle, I'll rebuild it. Who cares? And that to me spoke to a lot of people about just perspective in your life.

SPEAKER_04 37:08

Once again, Kevin Davis, how I lost my left, not other life lessons 17 true stories, not fabricated, not AI, from his actual life, and each story it ends with with life lessons, practical lessons with action steps. That's what I like because both of my books, each chapter ends with action steps. Because you have to have skin in the game, right? Kevin, you have to how many people have you heard they're like, oh Kevin, I went to this amazing conference and I learned so much. I I took copious notes, and then that's it.

SPEAKER_01 37:57

Do you even know where the notes are? Do you have you have you implemented anything that you paid ten thousand dollars this weekend for?

Say Yes To Life And Stay Real

SPEAKER_04 38:05

Right? Exactly. Zero implementation. Yeah, but they got dopamine. They they they threw their social media, they they threw a couple of pictures. If they're lucky, they they got pictures with themselves with the talent to really get some some ooze and ahs. They're happy for a couple un until the next one with zero implementation, and it's like the same person. And Audible, this the Audible is made for people like this. The two books, three books a month on personal business development, and and they'll turn them two, three books a month. It's like, you know, Kevin and I will agree. Just read a couple over and over and implement. And if you do the work on a consistent basis, Kevin's happily married for over 30 years because he does the consistency, he puts in the time and the effort. And if something pisses off your wife, Kevin, you scratch that and you'll keep on doing it, thinking one day she'll just get over it.

SPEAKER_01 39:19

Yeah, she's definitely not. One day she'll just punch me in the face when I'm not looking. But you know, let what with with Audible or any books or business books. A lot of times I'll get like I don't know, 30-45 minutes into an audible book. I listen to it at 2x just because so I made this rule. I listen to pleasure books, like books that I actually want to listen for fun in 1x, and all business books are in at least 2x, depending on the author, because sometimes it sounds like you know, Alvin and the Chipmunks. But I'll I I gave myself permission a long time ago that a, if this book's a waste of time, I'm not listening to it. And B, if I get a really good nugget out of it and I don't think that there's much more, I'll stop reading or listening. Right? It's just dude, you're you're a genius. I'm gonna go implement it, right? Let's just go do that.

SPEAKER_04 40:07

I'm the opposite. For some odd reason, I I will be there at the bitter end and complain to people and like talk to myself in my car. Like people are like, is this guy on a conference call or is he fucking crazy? It's like, no, it's this horrible book, it's six hours in.

SPEAKER_01 40:27

My wife will do the same thing. There was some book that one of her friends recommended, and what's crazy, this was the second bad book that this person had recommended. And I'm like, and she like, we're we're gonna okay, so read me the first chapter, so we're gonna kind of do this thing together. I'm like, dude, I cannot, I can't, I'm out, and she hated that book, and it was like 27 chapters, and she hated every single second of it.

SPEAKER_04 40:52

Oh, I've had those, man.

SPEAKER_01 40:54

Well, she promised to read it, and so her integrity is even more than mine. And I'm like, You're you're crazy.

SPEAKER_04 41:01

Not only that, but I'm the type that the reason why I don't watch as much movies or especially like the Netflix, the eight part is because it could be dog shit the first 20 minutes, but I have to know. And this was ever since I was a kid. I'll give you a perfect example. One of the biggest bombs ever in the history of movie making the movie was called Domino. It's with Bridget Nielsen, Sly Stallone's ex-wife, just from hockey four. And I'm I'm there with like maybe two other people. They they leave like a third into the movie. It's just like me in the movie theater waiting and waiting for something exciting or anything. It's like, oh shit. So yeah, a movie can have like the amazing beginning, like chariots of fire, and then you wonder, oh my god, well, how'd this win? Or or the English patient and all that movies that are like acclaimed world renowned, and I'm like, oh my gosh, but I I can't leave. And it's the same thing with a book because I'm like, I'm just like one of those crazy people that how how about there's a cure for cancer? How about if if it's like Ponce Daniel actually found the fountain of youth and it's at the end of this horrible book with the coordinates, and I can find it.

SPEAKER_01 42:21

I'll look it up on AI and see if it knows. But you must hate so you don't watch limited series because what I what Netflix and Apple and all these guys do is that they will put something nonsensical, like in season two, episode three, out of like four seasons. I've had this so many times when I'm like, I'm out, you know, there's some stupid agenda or whatever they want to push or whatever. And so then I'm like, all right, well, that was good for the first 12 episodes. I'm done, I'm not watching anymore.

SPEAKER_04 42:53

So oh no, I'm I well, it's funny, and sometimes you get hooked. That's like everybody was telling me watch the Burrows. I kept on reading about it on Netflix, and it had like all these old people that we grew up with, like Alfred Molena, Gina Davis. So I walk, and it's made by um the Duffer brothers, the people that did Stranger Things, and it ends ambiguously because you know they want you to have season two, three, four, and on, and then you get to notice it gets canceled. And it's like I I committed myself for six to eight hours or whatever that bullshit.

SPEAKER_01 43:31

They should be required to have like whatever the last episode is. You need to shoot it as if you're not going to get renewed, and if you're going to get renewed, always because how many TV shows so many, it's like we don't know what happened to these characters now because that they got canceled.

SPEAKER_04 43:46

I remember Quantum Leap, man. I was a sci fi geek. I loved Quantum Leap, that was good, but but it it ended it with the cliffhanger.

Action Steps And Actually Implementing

SPEAKER_04 43:55

Yep, you you didn't know what how how it ended.

SPEAKER_01 44:00

He's just off somewhere stuck in the time space continuum and doesn't know what's happening.

SPEAKER_04 44:05

Exactly. Exactly. So but these are all all the things that I love about your book and about your movement. Because yeah, I'm all about mind, body, spirit. Yep. People think you can be awesome as an entrepreneur, but have a shitty home life. Your marriage can be on the rocks. And to me, wh whenever I hear somebody saying that they're atheists, to me it's like cringe. It's like, so you have nothing to be faithful for, you have nothing to have to be thankful, gratitude, and all that. But to you, it's everything about health, discipline. If if you you have to have that foundation, you have to have a great marriage. You have to have a great, you have to be a great dad, a great father. Because you I mean, when someone's oh, I got all this money, but I have I've got all these kids and I barely know them, it's like, holy shit, you're telling me you're broke then.

SPEAKER_01 45:07

Yeah, I just I don't understand. I mean, I I made some mistakes early in life to where I was more work motivated, more money motivated. And once I quit that, once I stopped being motivated by money, everything was so much easier. Because I don't know, especially being a man of faith, like I cannot imagine not having that as my center point. But the I always like to say, and this is something that if you're striving and your hustle culture and all that kind of stuff, if your whole goal is money, there will literally never be enough, you'll never make it. You know, there's there's no way to achieve enough money that you are that you are satisfied. How many rich people, famous people are absolutely just miserable, you know, in general? How many have committed suicide?

SPEAKER_04 45:52

And then we have this knee-jerk reaction. Everybody's like, Oh, I didn't see it because he had everything, he had uh nice cars and he was wealthy, and it's like, so that that's yeah, how you define happiness, that's how you define success.

SPEAKER_01 46:08

Yep. Well, there's a sign behind me that says success redefined. Um, and that's one of the things we try to do with Max Out Man is like, I want you know, success to me has nothing to do with money. I mean, money, we'd be lying if we didn't say that money makes things easier, right? Like, I want to pay the mortgage in this house, I want to be able to have gas in my car and put heat in, and you have to pay your two thousand dollar electric bill when your kids are home. Exactly. All of those things, like money is a is a component of it. But like my wife and I, I made $18,000 when she was a stay-at-home mom. Whenever we first got married, we were fine, like we made it, we made it work, but that foundation is what built the rest of our lives. And I think if you define success around material things, you just it's just such an empty way to do it.

SPEAKER_04 46:55

Well, it's like when you hear somebody saying they want a a badass car to attract women, or they want the Gucci, they want all this, and I'm like, So you want somebody to dig you for uh how much you make or your material items? And I'm like, what do you think happens when shit goes sideways? Because you know, we'll entrepreneurship will tell you, not every year, not every quarter. There's there's definitely bleak times. There's the boom, there's a bust in any economy, whether it's our our stock market, whether it's housing, everything. And it's like wow. You you actually think that woman's gonna stick with you because she because you got her that that nice Fendi purse. Yeah, and you look sharp. It's like, man, that's that's a horrible existence because she should be able to love you if you drive a a Toyota or a uh a Hyundai or any other brand of car, and not just because it's a Lambo or it's a new Corvette or whatever shiny object that you want to get that you think it's one thing that that people think it's gonna make them happy, which they realize rather quick it's not, doesn't yeah, but but to feel that other people will like you or want to be with you based on what you have and not who you are.

SPEAKER_01 48:27

Well, that's why we have a whole industry where you can rent private jets that aren't even actually jets, you can rent they just big rooms that look like the interior of a private job.

SPEAKER_04 48:35

Oh my god, have you seen that?

SPEAKER_01 48:36

That you can yeah, you literally rent a room that is outfitted like the interior of a private jet. You can rent the Lambos and McLaren's and all that kind of stuff. It's like, dude, who cares? I mean, I I I've never flown private. I'd love to fly private sometime because I think it'd be a cool experience, but dude, who cares?

SPEAKER_04 48:55

Me, I'm I'm the type that if if the plan goes down, I want everybody. I mean, nobody's gonna give a shit if it's just like four people. I'm I'm not, you know, it'll it'll be a blow, baby. Like to call this this idiot that that had a podcast and a couple of books died. That's it. You know, I at least, you know, if I I'm you know, I will write that.

SPEAKER_01 49:22

I will write that story for you, don't worry. Omar, Omar, the idiot that died in his first private jet experience. Exactly. At least give me that, you know.

Redefining Success Beyond Money

SPEAKER_04 49:35

Well, it was like, think about it. Okay, we know Payne Payne Stewart, he died, uh the the plane decompressurized or whatever and whatnot. But if he would have flown like first class on something else, he would have saved money and he'd still be well, he'd be on the senior circuit now. Yeah. Still making money, yeah, signing autographs and and doing stuff like that. I I mean, that's the way I look at it. And we think about it just because he dressed funny and he got in a plane crash, but I mean, every day small planes crash all the time. It's always the big ones that at least have people know, you know, hey, you went out in the blaze of glory and at least get some American airline stock.

SPEAKER_01 50:26

There you go. That's awesome. Get Delta stock when your plane turns upside down.

SPEAKER_04 50:31

Something happens to to me on a uh what's gonna happen, you know. I I want my kids to to to have you know some money stocked away as long as good thing it I never flew spirit, so you know.

SPEAKER_01 50:44

Oh neither like bring your own bring your own lawn chair airline, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 50:48

Oh my gosh, exactly, exactly. I mean, holy smokes.

SPEAKER_01 50:53

I I used to see the reels of uh of the type of people and what happens, and well, you know, they say you know, basically Greyhound went out of business and it became Spirit Airlines. It's kind of that was the reincarnation of of the Greyhound bus line because it was like I don't know, man. It's like people that had never flown. I so I became at my million million mile mark on Delta, so I've I've I've flown a ton, and so like, but some of these people, it's like, how'd you even get dressed this morning?

SPEAKER_04 51:24

Oh, yeah, I'm I'm a million miler for American, but I hit that before um 9-11, and it was wow, they gave me like a bottle of champagne, nice before you could use things like that as a weapon, possibly gave me box cutters and everything else, and it was just fine. Commemorative scissors, yeah, and they made an announcement and they upgraded me to first class, and there was actual silverware, nice, you know. I I could have stabbed everybody with with a real knife, but you know, everybody on board didn't do that, so yeah, it it's a great accomplishment because you know it it shows that you you grind, you hustle, and and literally you're going places because you need to go places to be more, to do more. A lot of times we're stuck in this bubble because that's why people hate on each other, is because they don't realize this whole world we just have the same basic uh human need. We want to love, be loved, and we want some significance, we want to know that we matter and everybody's like that. It's just propaganda when we feel like some other idiot across the cont world is thinking of like smoking us. It's like, no, that's what your government wants, so we can bomb them. But in general, some 20-year-old kid from wherever country isn't like let me think of the plot to destroy America. No, man, they want to get some, they want to find someone that cares about them, they want to know that they matter.

SPEAKER_01 53:10

Yeah, 100%. Yeah, I always say that people people no one thinks about you as much as you think about you. Like, so like that's why I don't care. Like, you know, back to your vulnerability question. That's one of the reasons. Like, I'm I don't really care because I don't care if people think badly about me. Like, I unless now if I've done something personally to hurt someone, oh, that's different. I want to I want to work through that, but like if you just don't like me because I'm I'm 53 and still have hair like you, nice. Like, that's your problem. I don't really care. I'm not thinking about like I don't I had a conversation with a guy earlier today. We were talking about emotional energy because he's really unhappy in his business right now. So we're doing some coaching with him. I'm like, dude, do you realize how much emotional energy you give away all day long and then take it home at night? There's only so much. Why do you want to give that away to that nonsense? And so that's one of the things that I try not to do. But to your point,

Travel Lessons And Emotional Energy

SPEAKER_01 54:05

you just want to feel valued and you want to feel like someone loves you, right?

SPEAKER_04 54:10

Well, Kevin, when you talk about what when when you fall, it's human nature that we get back up and we look around. Everybody does that, but if in case people know, nobody cares, man. If you fail, fail, fall forward, fail miserably, get up, laugh.

SPEAKER_01 54:29

Wake up, like stand up and take a bow. That I'm playing exactly. I play guitar, and there's and I used to play in a worship band. So the rule for electric guitarists when you're playing solo is if you play a note, play it twice, so everybody thinks you did it on purpose. So if you play a wrong note, play it twice, so everybody thinks you did it on purpose, which is kind of like that. Like if you fall down, just make a joke out of it. No one really cares, no one's really watching anyway. Kevin maxed out.

SPEAKER_04 54:58

How do people join? Do it is it through Zoom? Do we have to go to Montana and go with the Duntons?

SPEAKER_01 55:07

Nope, no Duntons where you don't kill nearly as many people. I'm actually in Boston, you know, good because we don't have an actual trains train station like that. Uh, I just bury them in the backyard. Like I said, we watch a lot of dates.

SPEAKER_04 55:20

You got plenty of space.

SPEAKER_01 55:21

I do. I've got five acres, so we got plenty of space for bodies. Um, well, you go to maxoutman.com. You can see kind of what we've got going on there. We have a new thing called the Activated Marriage Toolkit, and so it includes a bunch of different things. Uh, community, I've got this date night blueprint thing, which is pretty cool. Um, we have this. I built this translator. So, like you put in what your wife said and it tells you what she actually meant. A little bit of novelty, a little bit of education. So if you go to toolkit.maxoutman.com, you'll find that. And then obviously you can go to Amazon and find the book. Now, do you have retreats and stuff? We do. We're we're training, we're planning one. Actually, I think it's gonna be either Dominican Republic or Costa Rica for a marriage retreat in January, is what we're looking at. And then because we're we're we wanted to do some here in Montana this fall or this summer, but we're kind of running out of time to pull everything together. We've got some other stuff going in the program right now, but that's the goal is to bring people out to Montana, shoot guns, whitewater raft, cook by the fire, you know, all of that stuff, big camaraderie thing, and really get some good teaching and lessons and and just building each other up.

SPEAKER_04 56:34

And like I said,

How To Join Maxed Out Man

SPEAKER_04 56:35

brother, happy anniversary. What's one thing every husband should hear right now from you?

SPEAKER_01 56:42

Serve your wife. So a lot of people into we've talked about this a lot, which is ego-driven stuff. If I'm doing everything, and this this is not a popular opinion, I will say. If I do everything I can to make sure my wife's needs are met, and she does everything she can to make sure my needs are met, guess what? Everybody's needs get met. So that's my role as her husband, a leader, protector, provider, and serving her in the best pop possible way. So think of her more than you think of yourself. Like that's what you really need to do.

SPEAKER_02 57:18

And what's something people assume about success? That's just completely wrong.

SPEAKER_01 57:27

That it makes you feel better when you define it incorrectly. So success has to be defined in my in my mind, um through service, through fun, through experiences, and through people. And if it's not about one of those things or all of those things, it's not gonna matter.

SPEAKER_04 57:50

Perfect, brother. Just one final question. I can speak to you out for hours because we're kindred spirits. If someone listening right now feels stuck in their business, their marriage, simply in life, and then only remember one lesson from just us, the conversation, the book, anything. What do you hope that lesson is?

Serve Your Wife And Fall Forward

SPEAKER_01 58:15

We're all making this up as we go along. No one really has the secret to anything. You said it really well. Fall forward. When you fail, get back up, keep at it, and serve those around you. That's the biggest thing for me.

SPEAKER_04 58:32

Brother, thank you for being a guest. Thank you for the hour. Thank you for being in service. Thank you for showing men to be men, to be better husbands, to be better entrepreneurs, to live in service, to love God, to love Jesus Christ. Something that we all need more of in this world. 100%. Have an amazing night. I hope you have an amazing night with your wife, and best of luck. And brother, you have an open invite. I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_01 59:06

All right, thanks, brother. I appreciate you having me on board. Thanks for helping promote the book and max out man. And and honestly, the promotion is secondary. Hopefully, I can serve you in some way, and I'm glad to be able to serve the audience.