What If It Did Work?
What If It Did Work?
How A 3% Survival Chance Became A Purpose-Driven Life
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One distracted moment across a center line can erase the life you thought you had. That’s the reality John Ulsh lived after a 125 mph head-on collision with his wife and kids, followed by an 18-day coma, paralysis, and a recovery that includes chronic pain and 45 surgeries. John doesn’t tell this story for shock value. He uses it to show what resilience looks like when you’re stripped of control, routines, and even the belief that you’re still “useful” to the people you love.
We talk through the parts most people never see: the quiet darkness of the nursing home, the fear of getting back into a car, and the brutal mental math of “What’s my purpose now?” John shares the idea that changed everything for him: you can still be positive without pretending you’re not angry. From there, we get concrete with mindset tools that hold up under pressure, including how he found one controllable action each day, why he prefers commitment over motivation, and how a written plan and journaling create real accountability when feelings lie.
John also breaks down “purpose through pain,” including the difference between pain you can’t control and “good pain” you choose in training, plus why learning to love the process is the only way progress sticks. If you’re searching for practical advice on overcoming adversity, building an unbreakable mindset, and turning setbacks into success, this conversation will meet you where you are and push you one step forward. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review with the one commitment you’re making next.
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Cold Open On Doubt And Drive
SPEAKER_00I never told no one that my whole life I've been holding back every time I load my gun up, so I can shoot for the star. I hear a voice like, who do you think you are making it?
SPEAKER_01Alright,
Anniversary Intro And The Guest
SPEAKER_01everybody, another day, another dollar, another one of my favorite episodes of my favorite podcast. What if it did work? Five-year anniversary today, as well as my grandfather's 102 birthday. Well, I've got with me an amazing guest. Life can change in a heartbeat. One moment you're planning an ordinary day with your family, the next you're fighting for your life with less than a 3% chance of survival. Today's guest didn't just survive one of life's most devastating moments. He transformed it into a mission to help others, find purpose through pain, speaker, resilience coach, top-producing real estate professional, and the author of The Upside of Down, Survivor's Guide to Turning Setbacks into Success. This story isn't just about overcoming tragedy, it's about rebuilding a life, developing an unbreakable mindset, and proving that your greatest setback can become the foundation of your greatest comeback. Welcome, John Olsh. How's it going, brother?
SPEAKER_03Perfect, Omar, and happy anniversary for the the five-year episode or five-year interval.
SPEAKER_01Five years, yeah, yeah, man. Time flies when you're having fun, especially when you're an old fart.
SPEAKER_03Well, I would guess we're probably pretty close to the same age.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I I turned 53 uh on Friday. So yeah.
SPEAKER_03All right, so I get you beat. I'm gonna turn 55 or uh September.
SPEAKER_01So uh let's see, a zodiac. So I'm I'm a Leo, so September Virgo, Virgo, yeah. I I I only know that because my mom, I yeah, I'm I'm not like you know, an astrologer, so pretty pretty much that's that's about it. So, man, welcome to the show, dude. And I've I've gotta say, with the way society plays victim, because everybody has a story, brother. Your story is of resilience, and you know, talk about overcoming odds,
The Crash That Changed Everything
SPEAKER_01man.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so like as you said on the intro, um, I was in a head-on car crash with my entire family, and my kids were eight and four at the time, and um um it was 125-mile impact speed. And and when I say that, everyone's like, You were going 125, and I'm like, No, um, we were on a 55-mile undivided country road, and and the car coming the other direction was going 70, and we were doing 55, and he crossed the the center line at the last second, no skin marks on the road. So police report would end up at 125 miles an hour because opposite speeds, but but yeah, it was you know an incredibly high impact speed. He he died instantly. Uh, as you mentioned, I was given less than a three percent chance, spent 18 days in a coma, um, woke up paralyzed from the waist down, uh, was told I may never walk again, and um ended up after a month in the in the hospital thinking I was going to go to physical therapy. You know, my back was shattered, my pelvis was shattered, those orthopedic injuries weren't even going to kill me. My spleen ruptured, diaphragm ruptured, left lung collapsed, heart damage, those things were you know what were killing me. I took 38 units of blood in the first 12 hours. And so, guys, our sides probably hold eight in their body. So that's how many times I was bleeding out. And so, so instead of going to rehab, because my back and my pelvis being shattered and titanium held up together, I moved into a nursing home where I'd have to spend eight more weeks just lying in a bed waiting for my pelvis and back to heal enough that I could actually even go to physical therapy. Um, and so this 19-year journey, and and I've had 45 surgeries directly related from the car accident. And uh and and and a lot of setbacks, a lot of, you know, um, the last 18 surgeries that I've had, you know, doctors would tell me I needed these surgeries because I didn't die. In other words, you know, these are complications related to all the injuries I had from the accident, but they're like, you don't have these circulatory problems, you don't have this heart issue. If you should have died in the car accident, you didn't. So now we're we're dealing with complications related to surviving. So, you know, on some level, I can't generally be upset about the additional setbacks because a lot of those are are simply because of the fact I'm here.
SPEAKER_01Now I've never been in a coma. Uh thank God on that one. But when you woke up from that coma,
Waking Up And Finding The Truth
SPEAKER_01what was your first realization?
SPEAKER_03So it even when so part of that coma was induced because I was on a ventilator and they needed to keep me, you know, for the last half of that coma under just to to keep helping the surgeries and repair, and I couldn't breathe on my own. Um, so when I came out of that coma, um, you know, there was a lot of drugs in my system. So yeah, just and and so so a lot of it like it took me, it took me more than a day to realize even I was even paralyzed from the waist down because there was so much equipment hooked up to me, IVs that I didn't even try to move. Um, I think the first question I asked was, was my family alive? And so uh my my son, uh, who was four, was sitting behind me uh in a booster seat. He was the second most injured, had his fibia tibula and his left leg snapped, and then the the seatbelt of his booster seat severed his small intestine without cutting his skin. So he ended up having to have a bowel reduction. So so he spent 15 days in the hospital. And like I said, I was in a coma for 18. So by the time I was out of the coma, my family was recovering at home. And so, so I knew right away that that they were alive. I knew they were injured, but I also knew they were out of the hospital. Um, I think the second big question I had was, was it my fault? And 18 days later, the police report was done. The other driver died at the scene. He wasn't wearing a seatbelt, by the way. Um, not that it, you know, at that impact speed, seat belts saved our life, but but ultimately he didn't even have his on. Um, so I knew it he crossed the center line. I also quickly, you know, realized it wasn't drug or alcohol related. He wasn't uh he was talking on a on a cell phone. We only know this because he was talking to his fiance uh when it happened, but most likely he dropped something or was distracted at the last second. Like we've all been behind a wheel, and all of a sudden something falls off the seat or your drink bounces, your coffee spills, and you and you reach and you realize you just hit the center line. Um until I think you know, the third real realization was this parallel that I was paralyzed. Um, and you know, I didn't really know how to process what that meant. And doctors, you know, until I moved to uh that nursing home, um I was still getting tests constantly. They you know to verify the other things like is your bladder okay before we take your catheter out. There was a lot of like procedural stuff that still had to be done. I had stitches all over my body, and so there was just this constant, you know, patching me, patching me, checking me, deciding what what other secondary injuries I I may have that they have to deal with before, you know, not that the big things were were out of the way.
SPEAKER_01Well, paralyzation, too, if you think about it, nobody thinks it'll ever happen to them. It's like one of those abstract things that you read on the news or Christopher Reeve or a football player. But overall, nobody ever thinks one that they're gonna be in a head-on collision with anyone, much less have have to be in a coma that long, go through all those surgeries, uh and then the word paralysis literally, it it's like not even in your worst nightmare that you ever think you're gonna have to go through all these obstacles.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Well, you know, the other part, you know, for our story that I think resonates with with just about anybody who's a who's a parent is is we were leaving a swim meet. It was December 1st. Uh, you know, my eight-year-old daughter had a had a swim meet. It was and it was the Saturday right after a late Thanksgiving. So we were just coming to having Thanksgiving at the house, you know, family there. And so that was Thursday, you know, Friday was recover, Saturday was was the swim meet. And so, you know, I always say, like, I'm I'm not a soldier, you know, which or not a first responder, police officer. I'm not, I wasn't in a choosing a lifestyle that would put me at risk, right? Um, I'm sure those people think about that decision all the time. I was just leaving a swim meet at one o'clock in the afternoon, like just about every parent who has kids has been, you know, on the on the activity, whether it's ballet, soccer, swimming, lacrosse, golf, pick your sport, or your activity for your kid. And and we were just doing the same thing that that they do. So it wasn't on the radar, you know what I mean? And just like that, life was completely flipped upside down.
SPEAKER_01Oh, tell me about it. I had two daughters for years and years and years doing the travel soccer, and it's it's always like you don't even think what can happen because you're driving like 99% of the parents, yeah, hundreds of miles, and it it's like a to-do list. You're like, okay, check, we've got this one, okay, next week, and then the following week, you're nobody's ever thinking, well, hey, you know, and and not only that, but you're also in the well, if it's like soccer, you're in the middle of the season, okay, you have a little break for Christmas, possibly, if not, you know, some crazy tournament or something like that. And then it's you know, it it just goes to show you that we we put a schedule out, not realizing that life sometimes can can alter drastically. Oh no, yeah.
SPEAKER_03No, yeah. I mean, I mean, yeah, my daughter who had the swimmy, Katie, ended up being a a big soccer player, and we did the same chase, chase uh you know tournaments all over. And we're in Pennsylvania, so so in the winter time, we'd end up down in Florida in your neck of the woods to play to play tournaments. So yeah, lots of, you know, it was just a normal, normal activity for our family to to do that. And and we kind of forced our four-year-old uh son to come along, you know, basically
The Nursing Home And The Darkest Weeks
SPEAKER_03bribing him that if you know if he could get through the the indoor swim meet without being too much of a problem, we'd all go get the Christmas tree afterwards. And uh, because again, it was December 1st. So, you know, we were just of course we were just having a normal Saturday family uh activity.
SPEAKER_01Now, John, what was the hardest part of not only the surgeries but of the the recovery that people will never see or comprehend?
SPEAKER_03Um I think that I I would say that that the most difficult part for me was this realization, particularly when I was in the nursing club paralyzed, and you know, no longer hooked up to everything, no longer having doctors see me all the time, just sort of left to wait out eight weeks, right? That um I wasn't useful to anybody at that point. Um, I've I later learned the process, the fact that for me, I I find my value in being useful to others, you know. I um and when you're literally uh you know paralyzed in a bed as a 36-year-old adult, unable to do anything for your family, unable to do anything with your job, unable to feed yourself, wash yourself, um that you're about as not useful as you could possibly be, and in many cases a burden to somebody. And so for me, that was a huge struggle, also a huge motivator, to be honest, uh, to to find value again in in being useful to others. And so so that was the biggest thing that you know back then it didn't show, but you know, as I learned to process what I went through, I just knew that's what hurt me the most. Um, it actually motivated me a lot too.
SPEAKER_01I know it motivated you, but were there moments that you felt like you just wanted to quit?
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Um again, I think that I think the the darkest time from the accident was that eight weeks in the nursing room. You have to remember, I like I moved to the nursing room right before Christmas, like two days before Christmas. Um and and in a hospital, if you've ever spent a night in a hospital, uh you you realize you're never left alone. There's a shift coming in constantly, and there's doctors and nurses and aides and somebody's coming in all night long, and and and I'm hooked up to IV pain medication, right? So I can click the button as much as I want. Now it wouldn't come out, but I, you know, I was hooked up to an IV and I could get pretty quick results when I when when the morphine would kick in. Um when I moved into a nursing home, one, it was Christmas, New Year's, so the staffing was very skeletal. The you know, if you're working those holidays, you're you're low on the totem pole. Um, nobody, you know, the shift, the third shift would come in 11 o'clock at night. That nurse and that nurse aides would come in and say hello to me. And I didn't see them again until 6 a.m. unless I paged them, you know, so very different experience and very much left to my own thoughts, really. I wasn't sleeping, I was in so much pain. Uh, most of the time just waiting for the next opportunity to have narcotics. And uh, and that's when, you know, if there was a time that I, you know, by that point we knew I wasn't going to die. Now it was a question of that I wish I died. Um, and there were, you know, there were plenty of times there where, you know, the realization again that I was in so much pain, that I wasn't may never walk again, that I was, you know, not very useful, that I knew even then I had a bunch of surgeries that still needed to happen, big ones. And and you know, that was probably the darkest. Um, but I had I had a friend who's a pastor um who came to see me on Christmas Eve. And and Christmas Eve was also the very first time I saw my children. They decided my parents, my uh everyone decided that my kids wouldn't see me until um they were sure I was going to survive because I was looked terrible, and why would they want to give them that memory at eight or four? Um, so so Jeff, uh pastor, you know, stayed around, saw my family interact with me, saw my family leave, and then he stayed a little bit. And you know, and he said to me, he said, you know, you can still be positive without being pissed off. And and honestly, that was the first time in in five weeks that I was like, all right, I'm I I can be upset about what happened to me, and and that sky can still put out a positive perception to my family that that that you know I can be positive and but I can still be mad. Um and that was the first time, you know, and that was that was four weeks from the accident that I got really like upset with the situation because it had nothing to do with it, you know what I mean? It's a freak accident. Of course.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, definitely, definitely. I know you're all about mindset. When did you stop asking and screaming out to God or to whomever to even your pillow your pillow, why me? And just start asking yourself what's next.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you know what? I I
Control Starts With One Small Choice
SPEAKER_03I don't know that I ever really in the beginning ever processed the the why me part. There was so much going on in in chronic pain, but but one of the very first decisions that I made that would you know really affect my mindset and and and affect a lot of of what I would do uh in the future, well when I was in that nursing home, you know, paralyzed to a bed, uh, realizing that I'm being told that because I I know I can't move my legs, you know, I I you know realizing that I could very easily be in a wheelchair and and I was gonna definitely be in one for a period of time, if not the rest of my life, um, that I had my my therapists who were coming into my room tie stretchy bands to the arms of my bed with this idea that there was the one thing I could control. I could move my arms, right? Even I've lay flat on a bed, I couldn't brush my own teeth, but I could move my arms. And I would pull on those stretchy bands, you know, for hours at a day. Um solely with the idea that if I was going to be in a wheelchair, I didn't want my kids to have to push me in the wheelchair. That I needed to be strong enough to at least move move a wheelchair. Now, one of the other things I I didn't tell you in the very beginning is I was a marathon runner when this accident happened. I ran 13 miles that morning at six in the morning before I went to the swim meet. Um and you know, so it saved my life. You know, I my my left lung completely collapsed, my right lung was partially collapsed. You know, I was under 10% body fat, uh, which helped when they cut me open from sternum the the the pelvis to try to figure out where I was bleeding. Um, but now I was a guy who couldn't breathe at all, laying on a bed. And so so taking those stretchy bands and doing that exercise was my first pushback on like I have some control over something, and that's the one thing I had control over. Uh, was you know, I was 180 pound marathoner. By the time I got the nursing, I was like 152 pounds, and I like I said, I wasn't carrying much body fat, so it wasn't like I was, you know, I was getting skinny by losing fat, I was losing muscle tone. Uh plus they put a bunch of titanium in me, so technically I picked up a few pounds, and uh, and so yeah, so that was my that that decision to do stretchy bands, which is was again driven out of this need to be at least important to my family, or at least not a burden. So I wanted to be able to move a wheelchair when I got into one that would you know create this mindset of here's things I have control over, here are things I have no control over right now. So let's find something I can control and use it in some kind of way that that gives me purpose.
SPEAKER_01No, John, I've been uh in a
Getting Back In A Car Again
SPEAKER_01couple of major car accidents, so I have to ask this one. How'd you overcome that fear, though, after that accident?
SPEAKER_03Um, you know what? So the very first time I had to get into an actual car, like in a seat of a car, because when I got moved to the nursing home, I still had lots of follow-up appointments. So I was at Penn State Medical Center, which is in Hershey, Pennsylvania, Hershey Chocolate. Um, and so I would be transported by on a gurney by an ambulance into the hospital. So the first time I I got in a car was leaving uh physical, like inpatient rehab physical therapy. Um and I was in a wheelchair and I got slid into the car seat and into the front passenger seat. And you know, there was a moment where I thought, you know what? You know, there's literally nothing I can do if on the way home a car crossed the center line again and hit his head on. Uh like there, there, there, there was nothing I could do. I mean, it was such a freak accident. There was just as much chance of me falling down the stairs and breaking my neck. Um, and so I I just kind of I was I was quick to adapt this to think, you know what, this is the most this is as close as I've been the dead without being dead. This is as about as, you know, other than being an infant child, this is about as useless of a of a person that I can be. I can't take care of myself at all. And I thought, you know what, there's there's no other thing I can do about it. Um if I decided to not get in a car, would I not be able to continue to be a dad? Like, you know, like I I knew I had responsibilities no matter what, uh, because I lived. And and you know, getting in a car was just going to be something that that I just had to accept. Now, I will tell you, Omar, there were times later when I would be when I was able. to drive again where I'd look in the rear view mirror and see both my kids sitting back there and thinking there's absolutely nothing I can do right now any more than there was back then to not get ahead or car crash again.
Surviving Versus Actually Living
SPEAKER_01Tell me about it.
SPEAKER_03Now John so many people out there just surviving don't even really know they think they're living now what's the difference though in your definition between surviving and truly living Yeah you know I I I have been in therapy with people who were just surviving right um and in some cases honestly they had huge lawsuits they were injured on on work related things and they still were were were super you know unhappy and and just trying to to to survive um and I think they they lacked a a a reason right I think that's the biggest like so one of the examples is is a guy I know who was inspecting high high power lines out of a helicopter he was the guy hung out of the helicopter to expect them the helicopter gear caught one of the wires the crash from whatever the height it was that they were inspecting the high wires he had some very very similar injuries to me big lawsuit a lot of money given to him at the time and and he had no kids no girlfriend not a great relationship with with many people at that point and and ultimately ended up killing himself to be honest with you um and I've talked to him all the time like just you got something's got to motivate you something's got to push you you know if if it's not the money then what is it gonna like you have something you have the a reason and I think that's the big difference is is you get up every day for a reason and that doesn't mean you have that's for everybody that doesn't matter if you're in a horrific car accident or you know you're just struggling with with other parts of of your life if you don't have a reason to get up every day and and and try a little harder um then you know it's it's really difficult particularly when you're down when you don't have motivation um you know to to be committed to anything john the author the upside it down now what inspired you what got you to writing the upside it down survivor's guide to turning setbacks into success so the book is is is two parts about the the first 3000 words is really a memoir of my journey from from the accident to uh you know me becoming this person who would later end up in in fitness magazines and on Timesquare with good morning america demonstrating Spartan races um and I wrote that um probably the first five or six years after the accident because I was taking so much narcotics and having so much anesthesia that I was starting to forget stories that you know I was because I lived in a nursing home and then I got better I'm a very unique patient for for the nursing home industry right first I was 36 years old and and then I got better. So I I I taught at a lot of uh colleges for nurse aid and nurse programs because I brought a different perspective in that they were going to see and and I'd be in the in the classroom and the professor would be like hey tell them this story about this in the nursing home and I'd just been there the previous semester I couldn't remember um I went to a friend's wedding don't remember being at it but there's photos you know hanging on their on the wall of their of their living room of all of us there. And so I started writing it for my kids because again my kids were eight and four when the accident happened they didn't really comprehend all they knew is their dad wasn't the same person anymore. And so I wrote it for them um and then you know later on as I started coaching a lot more and building out these these pillars for turning these these setbacks into into you know basically fuel to help you propel yourself out of them um that I write the second part which was just a you know about two years ago and the book came out in October of of 2025. So so the first part was a long time in the making and it was really just me putting down on paper my my side of the story. Again my side of the story is very different than my family's side of the story. And then the second part of this book is really just you know talking about the importance of commitment and and and the plan and ultimately for me the most important process is to learn to fall in love with what you're doing uh not being so focused on on outcome results as much as being you know somebody who can embrace um the process because honestly nobody ever learns anything at the finish line you always learn it in the journey uh being a former marathon learner myself i i would have to everybody thinks it's it's for the metal if it was for the metal you can buy
Why He Wrote The Upside Of Down
SPEAKER_03any of those off of eBay yeah I mean again uh I I I am a I'm a if you look around me uh in in the screen here almost everything around me in in this studio right here is of value to me as a as a as a trophy to an accomplishment something I set out to do you know so I I am somebody who's like you know you need to take wins and I think you need to celebrate them um but you know you you you I'm not a big like the the goal is the main thing for for me the the process is the main thing um and anything I ever I ever attempt to do it you know success has only ever come when the you know particularly long-term success when when I love the process not the outcome you know you talk about people losing weight whatever like if they hated what they had to do to get to the weight that they their doctor or they felt they needed to be at almost almost 100% of the time you end up back at where you started because you you hated the process of what you went through to get to where you were and so you know you have no you know you have no love of of of what you went through you you might be happy with the result for a period of time but you know I I talk a lot about motivation versus um commitment and and motivation is great but I in my experience through my journey motivation is very fleeting it it's there sometimes and sometimes it's not but but if you build a foundation on commitment to something um then when motivation's not there you can really rely on commitment um and and you know that part of that commitment is I'm a big written plan kind of guy like if you don't put it into writing and make it exist one one how can you lean on it when you need it and and two how can you keep score and if you're not keeping score how do you know if you're winning and so you know I'm I'm big into that side of commitment more than I am into motivating people or motivation.
SPEAKER_01Motivation to me is like the booster it but you have to have that foundation you have to put in the work on a consistent basis you have to have a strong enough why and then if somebody's doing the rah rah rah or the firewalk or whatnot then that'll push you it's it's like affirmations John if if you and I on any course if we never if we never practiced and do doing all those early runs well in Florida it was like real early three four in the in the morning to yeah to accomplish 42 kilometers or 26.2 miles whatever somebody wants to call it you can do all the affirmations you want but you're gonna get thrown in the SAG bus yeah because you're not gonna complete it it it's like affirmations people do do they work?
SPEAKER_03Yeah sure but I I can't say John I'm running 26.2 I'm running 26.2 I'm running 26.2 your body's gonna be like the hell you are
Commitment Beats Motivation Every Time
SPEAKER_03yeah because you're you're not because you have to have that foundation so yeah my and then what people want though if if if that actually worked just motivation it it it would be it would outsell yes the gurus out there and all they're making money but major corporations this would be a pill to get people off the couch and actually do something it it it it is what it is but you're right it you have you you and I are kindred spirits you have to write down what you want you have to have a a game plan and yes people that think that you can't skip keep score well you talk about Penn State well they just fired James Franklin because they did keep score yeah well and and again you know I I'm if you can't measure um it's really hard to build a foundation that you could that you can look back on so you know I I'm not this person who has to has to be analyzing you know where I was last week to this week but I can tell you through my through my journey of getting from a wheelchair to a walker to being able to walk um you know I would feel if I felt like I wasn't doing well or I wasn't moving at the right speed or or things weren't going as well I I would have and I still do like 13 journals right now from of every workout and everything I've ever done with with notes of how I was feeling and and I'll look at that and say you know what I've I've come a really long way and I only feel that when I can look back at something from a year or two years ago and say well this is how much I I've changed because in a day to day even week to week basis you you don't change doesn't happen that quickly if it did if it did you probably didn't just got lucky you didn't earn it. And so as a whole you can get down on yourself if you don't also keep a journal or keep your keep a plan and and and keep track because you you will ever your most people's nature is I'm not doing enough I'm not as far as I want to be particularly if you're driven person. And the reality is until you can look at you know where you were a year ago what you did over the last six months and see oh well I did I did actually do the work you know you know some days I didn't show up a hundred percent but I showed up every day and so you know you know showing up and and at least going through the motions is better than than staying in bed.
SPEAKER_01Exactly.
SPEAKER_03Now John the upside down the book what do you hope the reader remembers years after finishing it well you know so my my takeaway in the beginning is that you know your life can change on on a dime you know your life can get flipped upside down and would no matter what you what you may have done to try to protect yourself from having it you you know you have no control over where you start you only have control over where you go from there right you know I always say I didn't do anything to survive God and incredible surgeons are the reason I'm here when I came out of the coma 18 days later until today yeah I can take some credit for for for where I've gone uh over this 19 year journey the other um thing I really want them to understand is that you know setbacks challenges um the difficult things um are actually in many ways some of your biggest blessings one of the things at the end of the book that people always find interesting is in my acknowledgments I acknowledge the setbacks and thank them um because they shaped me more than any successes I ever had. This book is written from the lessons I learned from the setbacks not from the lessons I learned from the things I achieved uh because you know those those lessons are easy uh it's the lessons that come the hard way that generally create the you know the better understanding of who you are as a person uh how how things work in in in in life and and where you can where you can take those lessons and actually in many cases I I used to you know it's like it's like fuel right you could build a big rocket ship the rocket ship's not going anywhere without fuel and so a lot of times for me these setbacks just became fuel that that without those setbacks I probably wouldn't have propelled myself as quickly as I did after the setback because it it just motivated me more.
SPEAKER_01Now John you often talk about purpose through pain. What does that really mean?
SPEAKER_03So for me I would live even today in in chronic pain
Purpose Through Pain Good Versus Bad
SPEAKER_03um and that's and I had to go through rehab to get off narcotics had to find alternative ways to manage pain. But one of the moments that that had huge impact on on my life and it was twofold I decided about two years after physical therapy that I was going to stop going and I was going to push myself again being a marathon runner being a collegiate athlete I knew what it meant to push myself and I knew they weren't going to push me as hard as I could push myself I happened to walk into my local YMCA at 10 a.m at the same time there were a dozen teenagers with Down syndrome working out and they became my workout partners if you've ever spent any time with with people with Down syndrome they are the most positive human beings you you you've ever met. Super happy yeah and so you know I didn't want to be in the gym with with Omar and or my peers I didn't want to be there feeling bad for myself on a walker but these these these kids were just fantastic people to be around just uplifting there for all the right reasons didn't care about outcomes really just loved to be there and and a big eye eye opener for me on top of that was all of a sudden I'd wake up in the middle of the night and my shoulders were killing me or my chest was sore and I'd spent over two years waking up in chronic pain my pelvis hurting my back hurting and and what I kind of learned really quick when I started going back into the gym was there was pain I could control and pain I can't control. And if I could control good pain for me good pain meaning pushing myself like a like I did you know as a as a marathon runner you know adding that extra mile on your long run days so that eventually you know you pushed yourself harder to get better that that was good pain that you know and so I went from you know being who I was and a marathon runner into a guy that was benching over 300 pounds in about two years afterwards not because I made it my goal to bench 300 pounds it was because I just kept pushing myself to create more soreness more pain more stuff I could identify as positive versus negative pain right and so so the outcome was I got stronger the outcome was I could now even though my legs were my left leg was pretty messed up I could squat a lot of weight because structurally it was the bones were good and the muscle was good. It was just the nerve damage and so I became very strong you know went up to you know 210 pounds and 8% body fat. I mean I was you know and still am you know pretty built guy but it was never about that it was always about good pain versus bad pain and that was something in my head that that I could wrap my brain around and say well you know I know what it's like to be right out of breath from you know pushing myself to be a a longer distance runner or faster distance runner. It was it was no different um and always afterwards I felt you know if I was sore the next day which was what my goal was you know that made me feel good. If you know my pelvis is hurting or I'm sitting right here in this chair right now my you know I think about the pain that's in my left leg right now I don't like that it doesn't feel good um it's out of my control but you know the pain that I could inflict on myself inside a gym was pain I could control.
SPEAKER_01Well what I love about you because I see it too I I I I love suffering. I actually see it as a gift a gift from God not only suffering but when you hit rock bottom because there's only one way to go but so many people shy from both if you think about it I mean gyms are becoming empty now because people would rather do the shortcut and take a shot.
SPEAKER_03Yeah um and you know so I I've been fortunate to to speak to a lot of high school and college athletes all the way up to like division one athletes and and one of the things that you know that I always will reinforce particularly around these athletes is look people can look at you and be jealous at the fact that you can run you know uh a mile in in just over four minutes or that you can you know you can bench press 350 pounds four times but the truth is you can't look at anybody who can run a marathon or lift a lot of weight and think they bought that you can't buy that you earn muscle you earn endurance you and it's you know then I'll always get you know in some high school I'll get some kid says what about steroids I say well I'm glad you don't know how steroids work because steroids don't build muscle without lifting they just help you recover and heal faster so so you there's nobody on steroids who just takes a shot and all of a sudden looks like you know they're you know I I yeah it's when people try to tell me that or Lance Armstrong yeah and I'm like well you know what I I could I could have cycled for years taking a shot not doing this that type of cycling and I would have never had the VO2 of Lance Armstrong I would have never had the physique of Arnold I would have never been able to hit a baseball like Arod and that's just like a way for like mediocre and below mid people just
Written Plans And Daily Accountability
SPEAKER_03to give themselves a pat in the back and say well I could have been just like that.
SPEAKER_01I could have been Ronnie Coleman I could have been any of those people but I I chose to be all natural. Yeah you chose to be all natural and do nothing with your life congratulations regardless.
SPEAKER_03Yeah and by the way you know all those guys are are looking for a way to heal most of the time than they are trying to the pack on 20 more pounds of muscle um you know it's it's recovery and it's still the recovery from doing the hard work and so you know I I I do think that you know when you look at somebody who's out there training to to to run their first half marathon right or you see somebody who's putting in you know four or five days a week in in the gym um and you know six months later they start to see results those results are are entirely based off their commitment to showing up nothing else speaking of of goals speaking of showing up you spoke about it a little earlier why is it so important to have a written plan um I I I belie if without writing it down and and you know studies have shown like you you remember and commit more to things that that you write even if you I mean to write it on paper versus typing it into your notes on your phone like even the out act of writing something is is a commitment right um in in and of itself and and again for me it's it's a measurable and it's not so much a measurable of progress that uh or it's more of a commitment to knowing what you're gonna do when you show up the next day. For for me when I started back in the gym one of my biggest challenges was getting out of bed feeling sore um and and just getting in my car and going to my YMCA. Um one of the things I did I for a year I slept in my workout clothing. I slept in my shorts and a t shirt had a pair of crocs next to the bed and if it was Cold enough, I had a hoodie sweatshirt, and I removed one pain point for me, which was getting up, going over to my dresser, trying to figure out a pair of shorts and a shirt and what I was going to wear. And so I I removed that one obstacle, you know, that one thing that would would stand in my way. And and I can tell you, I'm I a hundred percent went to the gym as soon as I got in the car. It was going from from my bed or from my desk to the car. And so how many of those obstacles can can can I can I remove? How much decision fatigue can I take away? And and without a plan, without literally, you know, putting that down, it's it's way too easy to to pass on it to just say, oh, I'll do it tomorrow. Oh, I'm you know, we're not gonna I'm not gonna do it today. But but when you have to put it in writing that you didn't do it, I don't know for me personally, that that I don't care if nobody else ever sees it. I just saw it to myself that oh look, here's my workout book, and I didn't yesterday, I didn't do anything. So so so I don't I still take that page and if I if that happens on a travel day or something, I'll put didn't do it and go to the next page.
SPEAKER_01Like I don't ever'm a big writer too. So when it comes to to to goals, when it comes to my game plan, when it comes to what what I need to do, there's always a to-do list, there's always and and like what you said, just be honest, man. DNF. DNS, you did not start, you did not finish. Because a lot of times people if you don't write it down, if you're not honest, we love to lie to ourselves. People in general love, oh yeah, don't worry about it, don't worry about John. It'll get done, it'll get done. They they sound like little orphany tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. It's like, no, no, today, today, today, do it right now.
SPEAKER_03You've got 24 hours, and you're right, and it is like lying, lying to yourself because no one's gonna know it. I mean, they're there, you know, I I've I get in the habit of you know, I step on the scale every single day. It might move two or three pounds one way or the other. I'm I'm a 200-plus pound guy, you know. I my body weight can I can switch shift five pounds in in a day with with no problem, but I do it every single day, and I just track it every single day. And you know, when you look at it in a big picture, you see what direction you're going. Like for a long time, you're going down until you start pounding on putting on more muscle, and then all of a sudden you're going up. And it's not that you know, it's not this goal of weight, it's this accountability to stepping on the scale and not saying, Oh, yesterday I had a burger and two beers, and I don't want to know that all that sodium put two or three pounds on me, so I just won't do and I'll do it tomorrow when it's out of my system. I I I just don't cheat myself, um, you know, and because no one else is gonna know. I'm not like it's not like it's it's all over the internet where you can track, you know, John Olsha's body weight. It's just for me. And if I can't, if I'm gonna lie to myself, uh and not step on the scale, um, because I don't want to know the answer, then you know what am I gonna do when I have to share it with with the people that when I'm on stage or the coaching? Like yeah, I I have to be honest first to to to my own journey before I can be honest to to others.
SPEAKER_01So now, John, speaking of of your family,
Leading A Family By Showing Up
SPEAKER_01how has your accent changed the way you lead your family?
SPEAKER_03Um so so what the biggest change in the beginning um was was again driven so by by my friend who was uh the the the pastor, not my pastor, not my congregation, by the way, but just a good friend who and and you know, and I had struggled with you know survivor's remorse. Why why am I here, right? Uh and this was more than a year and a half at the accident, and his wife worked for me, and and so I went over to see her to get some paperwork, and he was sitting there having coffee, and I told him I had this struggle, and you know, and lots of people, smart people, had had all these reasons. Maybe you're here to make change in the world, maybe you're here to write this book, maybe you're here to motivate others. And you know what he said to me, maybe you're here so your kids have a dad and didn't grow up with with without you, and and that was something I could wrap my brain around. So, so you know, um, one of the things that became really important to me was that role of being a dad, um, you know, and and what that really meant. And that for me meant showing up. Uh, like I said, you know, my daughter played very competitive travel soccer. My son would later go on to play uh, you know, at a really high-level golf. So again, both big travel things, especially out of Pennsylvania when the wintertime you have to go chase golf tournaments. Um, and I just made sure that that that I had them blocked in my schedule, just like any other client or anything or anything else, like it had just as much importance. And when somebody said, you know, can I see you at five o'clock or can we meet at five o'clock? And my daughter had a soccer game, I'd say, no, I'm not available five to seven. They have a commitment, but I'm available at seven, you know, and I'm more than happy to work, you know, in the evening. So for for me, it really was this one understanding that um that I was given this opportunity to be a dad and continue to be a dad. Um, I would later lose my best friend the suicide, and his kids were my my godchildren. And again, I just saw this opportunity to say, you know what, uh, I'm here to help them as well. Understand, you know, they were young, um, they were spent all their time with with with my kids, and and and again, just seeing it as an opportunity to to to lead by by recovery, right? Because um, you know, I you know, all of them have turned to be out to be very successful young young adults. Um, you know, I used to argue that the hopefully the hardest thing that that they would go through in the in their lives physically already happened to them uh at such a young young age. And um for my son who just turned 23, he was four. His his memory of of me is is almost exclusively post-car accident. You know what I mean? So uh so he really only knows this version of me. He doesn't remember the dad who you know skipped baseball practices or wasn't at you know the kid act uh school activity because I was working, um, or I had something else to do, playing golf. I you know, and and you know that changed dramatically, first off, because I couldn't drive a car for two years, and so somebody had to take me to that event. Um, and then secondly, it just became important that that you know work was going to not be the most important thing anymore, and that you know, my my kids, you know, upbringing and understanding was going to be um, I will say that I probably also pushed them harder because of it, it's just simply because of knowing, like, you know, I would have other people say, well, if you if if John's out there doing lifting weights or whatever, working out, recovering, doing better, then you know, I people say, Well, what excuse do I have? I mean, look how what how much he's gone through, and yet here he is at the gym, or here he is, you know, you know, writing a book. Um, so you know, I have no excuse. And I would always say, like, we all have our own our own, you know, challenges, our our own, our own cross the bear. And uh um that doesn't make mine better or worse than yours. Um, but I think for my kids, it was always like, look, we we push through setbacks. That's that's who we are. Um, we choose we choose to to you know to deal with with disappointment and challenges. Um and and that's just part of life, but it doesn't, you know, I always say, you know, as long as you don't quit, you can you can take a setback, you can take a step back, you can take time off. You know, just don't quit. Um, you know, taking time away from something that you're working on um is is fine. Just you know, it's it's only it's only it's only a problem when you say I quit. Yeah, yeah. It's easy to fall off off the wagon. Um it's always this question of um do you have enough, do you do you recognize it? You know, I I I'm I'm I'm I'm big into understanding myself as I've gone through this journey too. Like I know even in my businesses where my weaknesses are and and know it's a weakness, uh, or know it's a challenge for me. And then I tr I I try to be very conscious of it. I try to put people around me who that isn't their weakness. Um and so it's it's uh it's easy to t fall off the wagon. The more important thing is, did you know you fell off the wagon? Do you know what uh caused it? And what do you need to do to make a shift and just you know start working back towards getting back on the wagon? Um well, because it happens to every single person.
SPEAKER_01Of course, only one person's ever walked
The One Thing To Do First
SPEAKER_01on water. Yeah, yeah. Now, John, what after the accident, what's one daily habit that's changed your life completely?
SPEAKER_03Um probably the one habit uh that has literally been the foundation of of everything is this concept of do I do I love the what I'm doing, right? Do I love the process? And so I I I ask myself that all the time. And when I have the things I have to do that I don't love, I'm a big fan, a big guy for like do that first. You know, you know, you know, I I I think I I coach people a lot that if people come and say I have six, seven different things that are really not going well with my life, and I've got this framework called the ready framework, and it's an acronym, and I basically walk them through this concept. And the reality is almost every person really has this one thing that if they focused on that one thing first, a lot of those other issues or problems kind of fall to the wayside, and so I ask myself all the time, what is the one thing I need to be doing right now? And do that one thing first, focus on it, um, make it a priority first. And ironically, a lot of the other problems generally kind of fall to the side anyway. And I also love morning, like I'm a morning workout guy. When I don't do a morning workout, I I there's every excuse in the world for me to not do it later. Um, and so that's the same way with like the the harder, the hard things, right? If you just you know, again, commit to that getting that thing done, um, and you don't do anything else the rest of the day, you can still pretty much consider that you you you tackled one big thing today.
SPEAKER_01True. Now, John, if someone listening today just feels like their life we've all been there, it's been turned upside down. What's the very first step they can take today, right now, just to begin finding the upside?
SPEAKER_03Uh
One Step At A Time Up The Mountain
SPEAKER_03commitment. And and again, you know, commitment is is you know, we talked about affirmations. It commitment is just saying, I I'm in a spot right now that I want to try. I'm going to I'm going to work towards this adversity, this setback, this challenge, and and and I'm gonna move the needle, right? Um, you know, it's it's a it's one step, really. It that's the the biggest challenge I see most people is that people are waiting for the perfect plan, waiting for the perfect time, waiting for the perfect situation. Um and and I always say, like, there is not a perfect, you know. I I would rather everybody be purposeful than perfect anytime. Like it's one step. You you take and and people were like, well, I I want to you know have it all figured out before I take the first step. And I said, it doesn't work that way. You take the first step and then you figure it out. Um, because it's nothing more than a series of of first steps. And I, you know, I'll leave you with this analogy that that I've been using a lot more speaking. And um, after the accident, when I could walk again a few years later, I kind of decided I wanted to make sure I saw a lot more of the world than I than I did. And you know, it was always that when I'm someday I'll someday I'll I want to go see you know the world. And so um I've been fortunate. I I've I've been to the Holy Lands, I've been to Asia, I've been through all of you know Greece and Turkey, all this incredibly old, you know, beautiful, you know, structures, churches, um, temples, and and the realization is whether it's 4,000 years old or a thousand years old, we build churches, temples on the tops of mountains, right? You know, the idea of being closer to God. Um, every single one of those, doesn't matter if it's 300 years old or 3,000 years old, have an old set of steps, stone old steps that run up to the top of these mountains. Um, and and you know, I would start at the bottom being very handicapped, not able to walk, seeing this beautiful church or temple at the top of this mountain and saying, that's where I want to be, right? But there was only one way for for me to get up there, and that was to walk up those stairs, being broken and and handicapped. And and if I spent any of my time you know going up those stairs, looking up at the temple of where I wanted to go, I would I would have you know broken something or if not killed myself on those old steps because I have no feeling in my left leg, they're old crashes. All I can do is look at the one step in front of me. That's literally all I can do, and I can keep going over and over, taking one step over and over again, and I can be halfway up that side of that mountain, and I can look back and say, Wow, I've come a long way, but then I can also look up and go, Holy hell, I have a long way to go. Um, and so at that point, what other choice do I have other than look at one more step and keep going? And and I think that's that's life's journey. Like we all want to be at the top of that hill at that beautiful church temple, but all we can do is go up these 2,000-year-old stairs one stair at a time. Um, and the irony isn't lost on me. Like, like if I'm spending too much time staring at the horizon and not enough time staring at the step in front of me, I'm I'm gonna end up hurting myself. I'm not gonna get there. Um, and I can stop and look backwards and be like, hey, I made some pretty good progress, but you know, I'm still not where I want to be. Um, and I think that's sort of the journey we're we're all on. And you know, I I just try to encourage people that you know, it's beautiful up at the temple, but we're not gonna get to the temple unless we look at the next step and right in front of us.
SPEAKER_01Amen. Someone that I used to always look far ahead instead of what's in front of me. No, John, two questions. One, where do the listeners
Book Links Coaching Options And Goodbye
SPEAKER_01buy the book, The Upside It Down, Survivor's Guide to Turning Setbacks in the Success? And two, how do they find you? And can they hire you to be their resilient coach? Like, do you do seminars, do you do workshops, group coaching, one-on-one?
SPEAKER_03Yep. So so the book is available anywhere you order books, Amazon, Barnes, and Noble. It's it's distributed uh through Simon and Schuster. So it's it's it's uh it's a hardback book. Uh it is uh easily, easily ordered anywhere. It's also on Audible. Um, and so there is an audiobook that that I read. Um, you can find me at at Johnolsch.com. Uh in there is all my links to my social. We we are posting every day just motivational short things on everything from you know your normal uh Instagram and Facebook and TikTok, but LinkedIn, YouTube. Um and yeah, we we we have a a coaching program. So I do a lot of keynotes, um, but I've really had some one-on-one coaching that we're expanding, and we are introducing uh some some group coaching um now where it'll be coming out in the next uh week or so. And it's the first time I've I've really done it. But what I've what I found is is twofold. One, I can only handle so much one-on-one coaching because it's it's very time consuming, and and so I have gotta you know give everybody you know that focused time for one-on-one coaching. The group coaching allows us in you know every week, weekly one-hour Zooms where questions can be asked, you know, and they're recorded and people can can can get that. And so that's a new thing for me because I what I have found is if I have a second book in me, and I think I do, it's gonna come from being guests on podcasts like yours, and it's gonna be from my small group coaching and small group coaching that I do for like you know, businesses and organizations where I come in, where I'm there for half a day, because I don't I I wrote what I thought people wanted to know. I stand on stages and speak for an hour to tell people what I think they want to hear. But until I have somebody like you are asking me questions, I don't and now I start to learn. This is what's valuable to other people. When I sit in small groups and we coach, I I hear what they're asking me. And in many cases, it's a new way for me to think about something I haven't I haven't thought about before. Um, being around people like-minded who are in the same lane as me has been super helpful for for my understanding of of my own journey. And you know, I I found that you know one of the I used to think the most valuable thing to me was for me to get done talking or giving a uh a speech and and having somebody say to me, Wow, you really you really made me think differently about this, or you really changed my mind on on what motivation needs. And today, if you ask me, the most important thing to me is to have a conversation with somebody else and me saying, you know what, this is how I thought about this before we had this conversation, and now after listening to you talk to me about it and pushing back on my theories and my thoughts, you've changed my mind. I think it's the big in this crazy world in which everybody's at each other all the time. I I think the biggest compliment you can give somebody else is is I came in with this thought process, and after we had a normal back and forth conversation, you've changed my mind. It's it's one thing for me to leave this podcast and say afterwards, well, that was interesting. I changed my mind. But for me to to to you know look at you and tell you to your face, you know, Omar, what you said has changed my thinking process. You know, that's the you know, in a in a world where everyone thinks what they think is right now and only hears what they want to hear and only reads news the way they want to read it, to tell somebody else that that you've literally changed their thinking process is to me, you know, the biggest compliment we can give each other in in this space where you know we're talking things out.
SPEAKER_01John, uh thank you for your time. And yes, Audible one of the two books I've listened to this month since I've got this the subscription. It's an amazing book for like-minded people. Thank you for being in service. Thank you for not being a victim. Thank you for trying to be that positive shift that the world needs. And it all starts from within us, brother. I hope you have an amazing night and open invite to whenever you want to come, and especially I hope you you come for that second, that third, and that fourth book within your brother. Thank you. Appreciate you very much, Omar.
SPEAKER_03And happy five-year anniversary.
SPEAKER_01Thank you, brother. And you see, life happens for a reason. There's no coincidences you're supposed to be for this tape.