Renee Fruiht- Teacher, Parenting Twins, Dressage Horse Riding

My guest today is Renee Fruiht. She has lived in the Astoria Oregon area for more years than I can remember. 

She’s a retired teacher who began her career in a small school in Texas and ended it teaching 2nd grade at Astor Elementary in Astoria. 

Renee took on the daunting task of parenting twins who have become two amazing human beings. 

Since being retired, she has become passionate about Dressage horse riding and competitions

She’s also, along with Nate Sandel, created an educational endeavor for children of service workers to build a mini boat through the Maritime Museum.

Our featured author is Rachel Lulich, author of the Fractured Galaxy Series.

Subscribe to the Women of the Northwest podcast for inspiring stories and adventures.
Find me on my website: jan-johnson.com

Transcript

Jan Johnson

0:09

I'm gonna start by introducing my friend Renee Fruiht

Renee

0:16

We are in Jan’s upstairs beautiful studio with art all around the walls.

Jan Johnson

0:20

Yeah, my kids' artwork. Okay, so if you think back over the years even to like when you're a kid what kind of things did you do? Or where? When do you think you started doing amazing things?

Renee

0:36

So I don't really think I do amazing things I was going to start by asking you what extraordinary means because I feel like I am just the consequence of everything that's happened to me. So I grew up with a mom who was really eccentric, she was an artist. And I don't think she had the capacity to much follow rules. As much as she liked rules. She was Catholic. And we spent a lot of time in church. And she liked the idea of roles, but she couldn't follow them. So she never did. So we grew up thinking they really weren't that important. And then my dad was just happy. He was like, Irish, German, and he just was happy. And so I think we were just a consequence of that, right? So it never really, I couldn't have been very good at following norms, if I wanted to, because I didn't have any kind of a role model for that.

Jan Johnson

1:50

And your dad didn't follow them?

Renee

1:54

He was an architect, and she was an artist, and she didn't work. And they were kind of upstanding in our community. We went to Catholic schools, so we could tend to rules there, right? But I was used to people looking at my mom askance, because she really didn't follow rules. And so I think that kids kind of become what they grow up with. And that's what I grew up with. And it was a huge freedom. When I was young, I didn't think of it that way. When I was little I, we were kind of raised with benign neglect, we had to be dressed up and had dinner at five o'clock. But if we could get up, and we had to do our chores in the morning, but then if she didn't have to see us between when we left, and at five o'clock, it was great for her. And so we kind of did whatever we wanted, 

Jan Johnson

2:47

She sounds like a hippie chick

Renee

2:49

I get it, but they didn't like hippies, but what did they know? I could just do whatever I wanted. And then the neighbors would kind of laugh and go, oh, there's Renee dragging an bathtub across the field. Because I found a turtle and wanted to keep it in it, you know, but I kind of got to do whatever I wanted. 

Renee

3:12

And I remember one time when we were kids, we had a neighbor who I adored, who taught me to read and she was very different from my mom, she raised her kids very carefully. And she kind of liked me. So she let me come down and read stories with her. And that's how I learned how to read and I loved it. And I adored her. And one time my mom was gone for a week. And she was supposed to kind of be taking care of us, we're supposed to call and check in with her. And there was this amazing lightning storm up on the mountain. And my brother said, Let's ride the horses up into the lightning storm. And I said, Oh, that sounds so fun. We have to call Mrs. Butler first to make sure that that'll be alright, you know, let her know we're gonna do that. So I called her up and said, There's an amazing lightning storm. We're gonna write the horses up. And she said, You can't ride your horses up into lightning storm on the mountain. And I thought, Mrs. Butler, I'm just being polite to ask you. What are you doing tellingme what I can do. I remember just being shocked, like, what would she care? You know,

Jan Johnson

4:12

cuz your mom didn't care.

Renee

4:13

She didn't care. And I never really thought about are we going to live or are we going to die? She didn't want us to get in trouble. And she didn't care what we did. And, I remember feeling a little badly about that, that I was raised, on my own. I mean, I got kicked out 4-H because my mom wouldn't go to the meetings. You know, like I love 4 H.. We were studying butterflies and insects and it was so interesting. But I got kicked out. 

Jan Johnson

4:43

So did those experience. kind of molded who you were as a parent or as a teacher?

Renee

4:50

I'm sure the everything we become molds who we are. I think it's so interesting that I learned, I have two adopted kids, as you know, who had really traumatic experiences when they were early. And so I researched that a lot. And I learned that when you have traumatic experiences, it changes your own DNA, it changes the physical shape of your DNA. And when you have children, they get that changed DNA. And everything has a purpose. So my kids received DNA from their mom who had lived through tremendous tragedy. And so they are very good at dealing with tremendous tragedy. But that's a benefit. If, if the world was falling apart and burning down around us, I would want to stand behind my daughter, she's good. Yeah, you know, so there's an advantage to everything you get. 

Renee

5:56

And my mom was an Army nurse in World War Two. And it affected her really deeply. And so I'd say she lived with this tragedy, probably. And I got her DNA. And iback to my story. I sometimes felt badly about that. But I got to work for a while in forestry with an amazing forester, Katie Cabina. And she also grew up kind of off the cuff because her dad had died early. And there were a million kids and her mom was raising those kids. And we were talking about it one time and kind of laughing about all the trouble we got into. And she said, weren't we lucky, weren't we lucky to be raised a little bit outside of societal norms, where we got to just enjoy life. And that was such an aha moment. Like, oh, my gosh, it was really fun. We had a good time. So I didn't get, you know, chocolate chip cookies when I got home from school. But I got a ton of freedom. And I got to explore the boundaries of my own life. And that was really fun. So I think talking tip cookies, when you get home from schools, also a wonderful life, and being very well cared for in that traditional sense, is also really wonderful. And those people go on to live their amazing lives. And I got to live my amazing life. You know, it's pretty lucky. There are so many different choices in the world.

Jan Johnson

7:30

So let's see, you taught for a number of years

Renee

7:33

I did, I loved teaching. I started teaching in Texas, and a little barrio school with the principal was from Argentina. And she didn't even know until she was in her 40s and was going to go travel that she didn't have a green card.

Renee

7:48

She ws just the principal of the school. And she was an amazing principal, and took a really, really good care of her students. And it was a delightful first teaching experience, I was giving a lot of autonomy. And I had a volunteer who had a suburban, and I had a big station wagon. And the principal kept the class sizes small, and we could load all of our kids into our two cars. And we've had field trips on five minutes notice. That was great. So delightful. wonderful, starting teaching. And then I moved here and taught in a lot of different situations. So yeah, I've had lots of fun.

Jan Johnson

8:29

And then so let's see, what else have you been?

Renee

8:33

I got to work with forestry for a while. Helping set up classes and forestry experiences. That was really fun. I didn't know a lot of forestry. So I really learned it as I was going. I taught in middle school and I taught elementary school. And I taught over at the Fish Hatchery in Washington for a while that was really fun, too.

Jan Johnson

9:02

And then somewhere you got started with liking horses.

Renee

9:07

We got our first horse when I was four years old for my brother because he was really naughty. And they thought well maybe if we get him a horse and so

Jan Johnson

9:19

He went to ride up to lightning storms instead

Renee

9:24

Right? Oh my gosh is so much fun. So So they bought a little two year old Arabian Quarter Horse that had just barely been trained. And they thought the two of them grew up together. So if there's any parents out there, don't do that. get like a really old, trained horse goes well with a little kid and vice versa. But so we had this horse and she was crazy. And when my mom first went to catch her, when they put her in the field the horse raised her head up and knocked my mom out. It's one of my early memories watching my mom get carried on a stretcher, So, then my mom said, you're on your own with this horse. I don't want anything to do with it. And it was in like a five-acre pasture. And there was a great big oak tree in the middle of it. And I was just a little kid like, I was the youngest of five. Nobody ever thought to put me out in the horse or, you know, so. But I used to go out there and sit with the horse under that tree. And it was the sweetest horse. And Mrs. Butler sent books home with me and I'd sit under the tree. And I'd like look at my storybooks. And I'd sit right between the horse's legs against its belly. It was a crazy horse. But horses like kids and this horse took really good care of me 

Jan Johnson

10:23

That almost sounds like an illustration for a kids’ book—a photo opp.

Renee

10:48

it was in Santa Rosa, California has the most beautiful oak trees. So rolling hills, poppies and foxgloves

Jan Johnson

10:57

A kid's story ready to be written. 

Renee

11:01

Because here's the story, it was a great story. So my brothers were wild. And they didn't know. They just wanted to ride horses. And he saw that I was sitting with a horse. And no one else could ever catch this horse, we stretch water hoses all the way across the field and get about 10 Kids and try to corner the horse. And then she just jumped over the water hose and on the other side would start all over as our entertainment when we were little. So he saw that I was sitting with a horse. So he taught me how to put a halter on a horse. And he said you have to put this halter on the horse and then hold on to the rope and don't let go no matter what. It's like okay, I was more afraid of my brother than I was at my mom, which a lot of kids are when they're little, I guess so.

Renee

11:47

So, okay, so I went out and I'm sitting with the horse. And then I pulled out the halter. I guess I walked up to it with the halter. And she got alarmed because she didn't like halters and lead ropes, you know, but it's like, okay, any second when I sat with her, and then he's over shouting across the field, put it on or put it on or so I put the halter on her. She's like, okay, she was startled, but we were good friends. And she just lay there. Let me do that. And then my brother started walking over. And like she did not like my brothers, because they didn't know what they were doing. And they just thought you get on and you twist- they didn't know. And so she stood up and was really nervous. And he said, don't let go, whatever you do, don't let go like, okay, so I'm holding the rope with both hands. And all of a sudden, the ground is just hitting me just come up and down hitting me in the face. And I thought oh God, those hurt so bad, but I get let go. And finally I heard him shout let go. So I let go of the rope and she ran off. 

Renee

12:51

But that taught me so much about horses. I felt as bad for that little horse as I did for myself. And I promised her I'd never do that again. And so after that. I just kind of taught myself to ride on my own on her terms. That was a really good experience for me, both with animals and with children. You don't know what experiences they have. And you don't know what fears they have. And so you need to let them kind of lead the way. And I haven't always done that because my own experiences getting away sometimes. But I've tried to do that.

Jan Johnson

13:29

That's me. So then you've gone on to do different horseshoes and different things that you enjoy.

Renee

13:34

Yeah, so when I was little I just wrote in the fields bareback. We didn't know we were doing and we had a lot of fun just playing around, but never any form. In fact we were kind of jealous of those kids that got really fancy formal English writing lessons on their little ponies. And when we were kids, Santa Rosa was very small, we can ride our horses through tanned and to the fairgrounds and would hold impromptu races outside the barn, where the kids were having their English lessons inside. I feel kind of guilty about that now, because I'm sure we disrupted their lessons, but we thought it was fun. We thought we were pretty cool. So that's how we grew up. 

Renee

14:20

And then when my kids were small, I spent my time helping them learn how to ride. And so when I retired and my kids were grown, I wanted to learn how to be a better rider. And so I looked around and there was a man, Eitan Beth-Halachmy who grew up in Israel and always wanted to be a cowboy and he was formally trained as a dressage rider, and then came to the United States, and he started discipline called cowboy dressage, which is a Western form of riding, but with High Level dressage style training. And I love it, it's very kind to the horses. The whole basis of cowboy dressage is that the horse is a partner. And it's really important to work and appreciate the horse from where it is. So I wanted to study that and there are a few cowboy dressage, teachers in this area. So I was really lucky to work with them. And it's, it's great. It's mostly older, retired woman, like cowboy dressage, and we have a really good time, the main goal is to have fun and be nice to our horses. It's been a really good discipline, I've learned so much. And it all transfers really well to trail riding. Because when you're on a steep, narrow slope, and there's a lightning storm, you want to be able to communicate really well with your horse. 

Jan Johnson

15:50

So it's just storming ahead. Okay, well, so now you've got a new project, you're working with the Columbia Maritime Museum. Tell me about that.

Renee

16:05

So after I retired, I felt kind of guilty that I retired right before COVID. And all my friends are dealing with it. And I didn't have to. And I wanted to do something for essential workers, and maybe for the children of essential workers, because well, as we all know, they get their needs met a little bit less than everyone else. So I thought that I'd like to do that. And right about that same time. Nate Sandel, who I very much admire from his work at the maritime museum called and asked if I would tutor his daughter whose horse crazy, and I love his daughter. She's been to Japan twice, it's hard to call her the child of an essential worker. But I agreed to and as Nate and I were talking, As Nate and Maggie, his wonderful wife, who's a dance instructor and I were talking, we thought that we'd really like to do something together for essential workers. And he has been working on a project over the years of making boats that have really high-level tracking equipment on them and taking them out into the ocean and trying to get them to sail to Japan or bringing them to Japan and trying to get them to sail to the United States. So in the process of this really fun project, he's set up a really nice line of communication with schoolchildren in Japan and officials in Japan, and schoolchildren here, 

Jan Johnson

17:44

And that's something that he's done with classrooms. 

Renee

17:47

Yes, he does it primarily with classrooms. And he has also wanted to do something with the children of essential workers. So we decided to pick a neighborhood and we picked

Renee

18:07

Emerald Heights, that the kids who live up in Emerald heights, and decided to do that. And we got about 15 or 20 Kids and story has been wonderful at helping out with that. So the schools donated their buses, to pick kids up in Emerald Heights and bring them down to the museum. Yes to that really beautiful building in the museum. 

Jan Johnson

18:32

Yeah, it's amazing, pretty. 

Renee

18:34

And so we had it all nicely set up, so that we could do social distancing, but the kids could still visit and enjoy each other. And everyday we would get pizzas and really fun Japanese food and would sit and talk and visit and then build these amazing about a six foot boat. So we had to do welding and painting and sanding and carpentry work and sail making and decorating and technical work to get the equipment on it. And we had a lot of people come and visit with the kids and teach them how to do that. And then we had to learn about weather and currents. So we could decide when and where to place the boat in the water to ship.

Jan Johnson

19:25

That's really amazing. What about what age kids really? 

Renee

19:30

Oh, that was a really fun thing. Because when we started, we were getting have a pretty narrow age group. But we ran into a problem. And that is we had everything set up. We were going to go up to Emerald heights, to introduce this to families. And so we send out invitations and we had our little trailer ready with a boat on it and we had food and snacks and there were like five of us that we're going up, and we went up there and we set it out. Nobody.

Jan Johnson

20:04

Nobody came to do it

Renee

20:07

I felt so badly. They were all bilingual, what we learned was, we look to just like an Ice Raid. Oh, and it was too good to be true. And there is such a huge danger with people who have lived here for years have worked here for years, pay their taxes. But they don't have green cards. 

Jan Johnson

20:36

So what did you do?

Renee

20:38

Well, we backed up, and we went through the Latinos program, and they are able to assure people that we were in fact, not Ice, and we really were legitimate. And so slowly, children trickled in, and then once they started coming in their families felt comfortable to send their kids. And, you know, it's not necessarily that the children were illegal, but they love their community, and they want to take care of their community, and they didn't want any part of something that might hurt their community. So 

that was something we ran into. But we ended up with a great group of kids and parents, and just had so much fun.

Renee

21:26

And, and so in the process of that, we just opened it up to everyone, the kids had to write a letter to us stating why they wanted to do that. And a little six year old wrote the most delightful letter, so we let him in. So our ages were from six to I think 16. So that's a pretty big span of people. And then we mixed groups by interest, what they wanted to do, and it just fell into place really nicely. So there was a wide group of girls and boys and young and old in each group. They learned how to use power tools, and they had so much fun mix chemicals. And yeah, it was wonderful, so our little ship is out on the water. Now, on its way to Japan, a school from Japan, decorated half of our sail, we wrote letters back and forth, and send pictures back and forth. 

Jan Johnson

22:27

And then how do you fund this?

Renee

22:34

Good, because the Maritime Museum very generously funded part of it. And Pacific power, I think a power company also helped fund it and has volunteered to help fund another one. So we get to do it again, next year. And again, we're focusing on the children of essential workers. And probably the best way to do that is to just choose a neighborhood or a housing project, where a lot of those families live. And that's kind of how we do it. So it doesn't get too broad. Right? Yeah.

Jan Johnson

23:12

It might be interesting for somebody else to try and start that, you know, be inspired to do that same kind of thing in another community. 

Renee

23:19

I think that's so cool. I mean, just to choose an area where you think you can make a good difference. And then just try, my thought was that like, maybe I could tutor maybe I could give writing lessons to just a couple of kids. And then because I stretched it. For Nate and Maggie's daughter, it turned into something more wonderful than I could have guessed. And so I think that's a really important thing to do is look for something look for a way you can make a good difference and be open to possibilities.

Jan Johnson

23:5

What if you can name one thing that motivates you to want to keep doing it? What would that be?

Renee

24:00

Boredom. Seeing things work, seeing things happen, you know, we can all look around at our world right now. And be sad that it's not more just, and that it's not more fair. And I try to not be on Facebook a lot, but I am so I can keep up with my nieces and nephews. And I see people be so angry that life isn't as fair as they wish it was. But all we can do is our own little bit. And so I think it's really important within our own capacity to do what we can and it might just be to not honk at the person in front of us. I mean, that might be as much as someone can muster given all of their own personal responsibilities, or it might be that we can reach out and really make a difference in a bigger way that reaches more people,

Jan Johnson

25:02

Yeah, I would guess that probably seen some smiles on kids’ faces.

Renee

25:08

Oh my God, it is so much fun. And it was a lot of fun teaching and in teaching. It's important to work within the framework of public schools, which have to have a lot of rules and work with a broad brush. Because we have so many bosses and all of our varied families. In this situation, it was a lot more open, and we could be much more creative. I remember at one point, Nate and I were visiting with kids and introducing other volunteers. And three of our older kids decided they didn't want to wear masks. And of course, we had to wear masks. It was the middle of COVID. And Nate looked at me, and I looked at Nate, and I realized that we had each thought, oh, yeah, I don't have to be the teacher, I don't have to be the rule maker. And so we had not set up who was gonna be the rule maker. And we looked at each other, and just kind of shrugged and decided there really wasn't going to be a rule maker. Yeah, Nate came up with a brilliant idea that these kids would do. Tik Tok program, about what we were doing. And in order to do that, we had to let everybody know, we're following the rules and wearing masks. And so then they became the mask police. And that worked great. 

Jan Johnson

26:37

And yeah, it's just inherent.

Renee

26:40

Yeah, it just worked out.

Jan Johnson

26:41

And don't you see, a lot of times when you start doing things that are type of an exciting process where people the kind of ideas, breed ideas.

Renee

26:57

They do they just work off of each other. It's so fun to be around other people who have fun ideas, and the time and energy together,

Jan Johnson

27:06

And it just inspires other things. And the kids themselves will come up with ideas, oh, we could probably do whatever. 

Renee

27:13

The most fun thing we did in the whole class in the morning, or when they first came, we would order pizza and have pizza there. And then would come up with one question. You know, like, if you could have any animal, what would it be? Or if you could travel anywhere, what would you where would you go? And the kids would throw ideas off of each other. And oftentimes, what we were going to do that day would kind of change just because of something that evolved with all the kids talking and it was so much fun.

Jan Johnson

27:45

So much fun. Okay, well, Renee, thank you for sharing all this. This is really fun, I hope we can get together again and see what other exciting things are going on in your life.

Renee

27:58

Oh, and I think this program is such a great way. I can't wait to listen into all of the different good people you interview to hear what else is going on in our community. Thank you.

Jan Johnson

28:08

Well, I'll put in the show notes, links to the Maritime Museum. So if anybody wants to look that up. There's tracking? 

Renee

28:22

Yes, there absolutely is. If you go to the museum web site, and Nate Sandel, of course is the Director of Education at the museum. And he has that tracking on his site. So it's fun to watch. I think he has 14 or 15 ships out there now. And he has a million great stories of his own, where those ships have ended up in great adventure. And just tracking them down.

Jan Johnson

28:49

Very exciting. All right.

Renee

28:51

Thank you so much. It was a lot of fun.

5

5

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