Decoding Social Etiquette, Step-Parenting Struggles, and Dating Dynamics with Kids in the Mix

Have you ever crossed paths with a stranger and wondered about the proper way to acknowledge them, or whether your friendly smile might be misinterpreted? Join Lamont, Shirley, and Big Sterling as we unravel the nuanced fabric of social etiquette and the unspoken codes that shape our daily interactions. From the tightrope men walk in public spaces to avoid being seen as threatening, to the debate over whether black women are perceived to have different standards of etiquette, we're not holding back in this candid and lively discussion on respect and generational shifts in manners.

Navigating family life can feel like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube blindfolded, and we're here to share the cheat codes. Listen as we dissect the intricate dance of step-parenting, from disciplining children in blended families to being a 'bonus dad'. Hear our personal stories filled with vulnerability as we discuss the do's and don'ts of introducing new partners to your children and the emotional juggle of giving non-resident kids the attention they crave. It's about striking that delicate balance between family harmony and ensuring every member feels valued.

But wait, there's more! We're peeling back the curtain on those ever-tricky dating waters, especially when kids are in the picture. Our hosts reveal their personal rules and break down the financial expectations when you're seeing someone with children from previous relationships. And for the sports fans, we've got a treat: our raw take on the NBA playoffs, Knicks glory, and the endearing moments spent connecting with absentee parents. Buckle up for a ride through the complexities of life's relational dynamics on the Your Opinion Doesn't Matter podcast.

Transcript

Etiquette and Respect in Society

Speaker 1 0:00

Welcome. Welcome to the your Opinion Doesn't Matter podcast. I am one of the hosts, mr Lamont, and I'm here with one of my original hosts and we have a new member to the squad.

Speaker 2 0:16

Hopefully he stays, hopefully hopefully, yeah, yeah, yeah, big up.

Speaker 3 0:21

This is Big Sterling, aka Sterling Glad to be part of the team. Thank you.

Speaker 1 0:26

And we have none other. The great. You know, she's a magician, she's in and out, but when she says she's very impactful, like a robbery, yes, yes, shirley, how are you doing?

Speaker 2 0:38

I'm well, I'm well. How are you guys doing? Hey doing.

Speaker 1 0:40

Hey man, everything is okay, kind of sort of. I had a little situation yesterday, uh-oh, yeah, I was walking with my daughter and I'm going to get something to eat. So I'm walking with my daughter, my daughter's on the inside I'm walking and I see this lady. She's outside of a vehicle and when I'm walking I try not to like stare women in their face. Okay, because I don't want. No, you know, I don't want no mixed signals. I want them to feel a way like, okay, this guy, he wants me Creep signals.

Speaker 1 1:17

Yeah, creep signals, right. So then I'm like this, I'm like and I'm with my daughter Especially, I don't look women in the eyes when I'm with my daughter.

Speaker 2 1:25

Okay.

Speaker 1 1:26

So now I'm walking, I see her right, she's like right over here. Now I'm getting closer, now I'm looking down, right, right, so we don't even need to go there. Right, right, right, yo, as soon as I get close, as soon as I get close, she's right here now. She says hello. I look at her, I say hello.

Speaker 1 1:48

A little aggressive. Yeah, like she was saying it in a way like you know, you're supposed to, You're supposed to no, no, no, here's the kicker now. Now, as I'm passing her, she says hello. And I say hello, I'm passing her here. I go back to look down at my daughter. She goes, she says pick up your head and say good morning.

Speaker 3 2:09

Your daughter said that no the lady.

Speaker 2 2:11

The lady said that so what did you say?

Speaker 1 2:15

I looked at my daughter Me and her was walking. I looked at her. I said who's she talking to? You're including her. My daughter said she's talking to you, dad. I said no, she's not. I said she's talking to you. She said no, she must be talking to herself, right? I'm like?

Speaker 2 2:29

but why you were going into the same spot.

Speaker 1 2:32

No, she was just on the side block. I parked on the side block, but I'm like, why, why, why.

Speaker 2 2:40

Who does she think she is? It could be two things. It could be she wanted your attention, or it could just be. I feel like our generation was the last generation to acknowledge people Just casually. You know what I mean.

Speaker 2 2:55

And there's nothing wrong with that when I step into a. Like I say, I went to a breakfast the other morning and it was a crowd of older people when I walked through and I was like good morning. And they got kind of shocked and they said good morning. And then the older lady was like no one says good morning anymore.

Speaker 1 3:15

I feel you, but you don't say that in front of my daughter. You don't do that. You don't do that. What do you think sir?

Speaker 3 3:22

I kind of feel the same way. What do you think, sal? I kind of feel the same way. How things are now, like Ma said, you kind of men are scared to say hello and make eye contact with women, like in the gym. When I'm in the gym working out, if there's a woman right in front of me I make sure I don't look, because they're quick to call you a creep and say you have creepy intentions. So therefore I just try to avoid the attention altogether. But in that sense it's really bad. I mean, society is going downhill where a man can and a woman can't cross each other and say hello to each other without being judged in a negative manner, you know.

Speaker 1 3:53

Yeah, can't win. Can't win for saying hello.

Speaker 2 3:58

So how did it end?

Speaker 1 4:01

I didn't say nothing to her. Were you both going into Sybil's? No, I was around the corner from Sybil's. I was around the corner from there. So you weren't going in the same place. Nope, she was standing by her car and it was just weird to me and that was it. She didn't say anything. I didn't say anything to her, but she says pick your head up.

Speaker 2 4:19

Pick your head up and you know it's backtrack. Pick your head up, it's like and she said it's morning.

Speaker 1 4:25

She didn't say good morning, it was 1230 in the afternoon.

Speaker 2 4:30

She lost track of time and this ho is telling me.

Speaker 1 4:32

I could have really got her man for talking like that, but your daughter was there, I was just humble and righteous man.

Speaker 3 4:38

I think it was coming from a good place from her. She just wanted that common courtesy and respect from her.

Speaker 1 4:43

It could be, but just the way to say it, you don't say you already had an attitude to say hello, or like you're strong on me to say hello back, and then now you say, pick your head up and say good morning, which brings with the aggressiveness which brings me to ask do you think that black women lack etiquette?

Speaker 3 5:07

hell yeah especially now.

Speaker 2 5:11

I only said that because I want to put all my grandkids in etiquette school. There's some things I just didn't learn from my parents and I think that, no, I just think that they didn't know, you know, they didn't just how to eat, how to place a fork, how, when you eat, you don't go down to how to sit.

Speaker 3 5:34

I feel that when you eat, no elbows on the table.

Speaker 2 5:39

No elbows on the table. I feel like some of us lack etiquette.

Speaker 1 5:46

Well, let me ask you a question. This format of etiquette and advocacy, who laid that down? What do you mean Meaning that from our West Indian side do we hear that type of talk?

Speaker 3 5:58

It was passed down.

Speaker 1 6:00

It was passed down, but I'm talking Big spoon for this, this, that and the, but I'm talking about Jack and.

Speaker 2 6:05

Jill type of etiquette. You guys know what Jack and Jill is. That's that society. I don't know too much about it, but it's kind of like debutante-ish, I think. You have to be invited in and these kids are-. Oh man, it's like the what's that Illuminati?

Speaker 1 6:23

It's not Illuminati.

Speaker 2 6:24

It's not Illuminati. It's not Illuminati, it's just you have to be invited in. I don't know. If you have to have a certain amount of money, then they have like dances and Class thing, I think I don't know too much about it, but I've been hearing about it. I think they have like. I think they have like. I think the Black Chapter is in Park Slope.

Speaker 1 6:43

I'm not too sure Mason type of thing.

Speaker 3 6:45

Yeah, but I'm sure etiquette has been passed down from Not Mason, but go ahead. I'm sure etiquette has been passed down from the oppressors, the slave masters, and it's been passed down and I feel like the slaves that work inside seeing that type of etiquette and then they pass it on to their kids and then it trickled down to the island kids.

Speaker 1 7:07

And then it trickled down to to the island.

Speaker 2 7:08

Oh okay, I was just wondering who, who, um you know who said? Who set that off the etiquette?

Speaker 3 7:10

I think etiquette is what is big in my family? I'm sorry, oh, it is big okay, so who?

Speaker 2 7:15

who in your family? Who was? Who was the responsible party?

Speaker 3 7:19

yeah, well, yeah, how my situation go. My father came from a wealthy family, okay, and my mother was the opposite, so he grew up with a lot of etiquette and he was the one that tried to pass it down to his kids.

Speaker 2 7:33

And I think it's environment too. Yeah, Environment, Because my cousins from Long Island and me, we speak different.

Speaker 3 7:43

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 7:43

You know, like I don't want to say just their speech and the way they articulate, and it comes from where they grew up, where they went to school. It's all intertwined. So I really want to put all my grand, both males. I have four, so I believe the male, the boy grandchildren would benefit, just like the female grandchildren, the girl grandchildren.

Speaker 1 8:10

Yeah, but what are they going to really learn, Like, how are you going to apply that to life? How I mean, like as far as silverware and all that stuff?

Speaker 2 8:18

It's not even silverware. It's the way you eat, the way you speak, the way you carry yourself, the way you carry yourself.

Speaker 1 8:23

So it's everything way you eat, the way you speak, the way you carry yourself. So it's everything.

Speaker 2 8:27

It's everything, okay, not just a fork and not eating like this that's supposed to bring it to your mouth. You know like it goes a long way.

Speaker 1 8:35

Yeah, our kids need it.

Navigating Step-Parenting Dynamics

Speaker 3 8:37

Of course we do it's true, we're going to get into a discussion about being step-parents and the difficulties that come with it. And you know, in a perfect world you know a guy meets a girl, you know they get married, they have kids and then they live happily ever after. But in a real world that doesn't happen and you know relationships get broken up and kids are products of these relationships and they get left behind. So after that the mother or the father of the child meets somebody else and the person has to be real careful about how they try to discipline this child, discipline this child. And I think in a situation like that, before you even try to discipline this child, you have to get the okay from the custodial parent. You know Agreed, like if I meet you when you already have a daughter I mean you get serious and I want to discipline your daughter you have to come and say to me oh listen, sterling, I give you the okay. She needs that discipline.

Speaker 3 9:50

I don't think I could take it upon myself and start to verbally be verbally aggressive or physically aggressive with that child unless I get that okay from you. And if the father's in the life, I think it's a good idea to get the okay from him too. You understand If he comes around sometime, picks the kid up. You know you just don't want to be screaming on somebody else's child because that's a sensitive issue and people get really mad and that could turn really physical. What are your views on that?

Speaker 2 10:20

It's broad with me, like at one point, does she bring you in? Wait, I'm going to let you speak. I believe that the dad and you should have a nice understanding, right, I think that she should. Even before that, I want a federal background check.

Speaker 1 10:41

I want to make sure.

Speaker 2 10:42

Not for money. I just want to make sure you don't have no situations where Childcare, childcare, pedophilia, of course. People just don't go there anymore and you should, and at the point that you might have to babysit said daughter and son. If dad is living, he needs to. You need you and him need to have a conversation he needs he needs to be like hey, let's. He might like say listen, I don't want you disciplining her. What if he says I don't want you to discipline her? Here's my number. I need you to contact me.

Speaker 3 11:18

I'm fine with that. How do you feel about that one?

Speaker 1 11:20

you know, um, sometimes, sometimes it's like it like in the moment, I get what y'all are saying, like ahead of time you have that conversation, but there's times when it's like yo, on the spot, you got to react and like I'm a stepfather, soon to be married, so I'll be the stepfather. But sometimes I struggle with oh, it's a struggle. I struggle with disciplining the kid and it's a boy too, and the father's not in his life. God rest his dead. He passed away.

Speaker 2 11:52

Oh, that's a different scenario.

Speaker 1 11:54

And the kid is 17. So it's like, you know, when you and he's caught up, you know doing different things, or you know I, sometimes I'll be feeling powerless. You know, Okay, I'll be feeling powerless and it's good to have that conversation. Even when you have that conversation like I have it with my fiance, it doesn't. It can wind up backfiring.

Speaker 2 12:18

Right.

Speaker 1 12:19

Saying oh, now you're in a relationship with him or you know you don't spend enough time with him, and all of this other stuff. But that's a mom being protective over her son and it's a slippery slope. It's really, really slippery slope being a step-parent.

Speaker 2 12:36

I've had this conversation with my mom for several times. You know I was a single mom. If I can do it all over again, I wouldn't date till my son left the house, because when these children have, when their parents are split, they already have. They don't even have their fathers full under by detention. He's not in the home.

Speaker 2 12:58

Their mom gets, uh, gets a, a partner, especially with males, females too, but I know from a male point of view Now you're, and then like at that age you're like, really you're, it's a, it's. You know you have to give your man attention. He feels like you're not giving him that much attention. And then it's like I wouldn't. If I can do it all over again, attention wise, I feel like I should have. Just I should. I should have put all my energy into my son and I'm not going to say and I have a little flex where he go away for the weekend and I do my thing, but I probably wouldn't. If I could do it over again, I wouldn't bring a male around my son until he was out of the house. I wish I would have made that commitment. I wish somebody would have talked to me and be like hey, you need to. You, know his father's in and out, and this boy needs your you know your undivided attention as a mom.

Speaker 3 13:55

What if the male friend you're dealing with you feel like this is the one and you could possibly have a future with him? In order to ensure that future, I feel like he has to really be around you and the child to get a little idea of how the dynamic is.

Speaker 2 14:09

You know, I think I still would have like. With what? Everything that transpired in my life, I think I would have been. I would have stuck to that decision. No, no males till till. My son is out of the house.

Speaker 3 14:21

Understandable, understandable. I've been through it and I have a success story.

Speaker 2 14:25

Okay, okay, yeah, yeah. So you're saying stepfather, like if it's a stepfather.

Speaker 3 14:30

I feel like it's a bonus dad. No, no, no. Now she's my child, she's my daughter, you know.

Speaker 2 14:34

Oh, you adopted her. Well, we're a family now, okay.

Speaker 3 14:39

Okay, yeah. So when I first met my wife, we was feeling each other out. I met the child. Okay, the child was a little. I mean, it's my daughter, I could talk about it. She was a little rude. At the moment she was five years old.

Speaker 1 14:55

Okay, man, five and rude, maybe she was a little angry.

Speaker 3 14:57

She was like you know who's this guy your mom is bringing around.

Speaker 2 15:01

They wanted attention Like who are you? You're not dad, yeah.

Speaker 3 15:04

And I felt the same way. I was a little apprehensive with her because I'm like I'm not your dad, you know Right, and I'm not going to. The dad is still. He's still around. He lives in another country, but they communicate.

Speaker 2 15:14

Okay.

Speaker 3 15:18

But as we got closer, me and my wife got I worked for the board of education. My wife had to work, I was off, Daughter was off. She's like could you watch her? I'm like, oh man, I really don't want to.

Speaker 2 15:31

You know what I'm saying, but I had to do it, you know to support the household, you know.

Speaker 3 15:34

So I did it. There was. She was a little rude. She was staying in the office. One time the doorbell rang and she ran to the door and I'm like, get your ass back in the room, you know. So while I open the door, she comes there and I'm like, didn't I tell you I had to get in the room? And she looks me up and down in front of the guests and they look at me like, you know, embarrassing you have no control of your child, you know so right after.

Speaker 1 16:02

I took it.

Speaker 3 16:02

What you going to do she gave me that up and down. Then, after she left, I called her mother and I said listen, I can't do this anymore. She's like what do you mean? I told her what happened and when she got home she said listen, we need to talk. She's like I'm going to give you the okay. She's like if she ever does anything like that, you will handle it.

Speaker 1 16:21

She didn't tell me to beat her or anything she just told me I give you the okay to discipline her.

Speaker 3 16:27

And I'm like I was like oh word, and she was like yeah, and from that day on me and that child became closer, I took her into my wing, I disciplined her. I explained why I disciplined her, because with children now you got to kind of give an explanation. I think it's easier to discipline them the younger they are.

Speaker 2 16:46

Like five.

Speaker 3 16:46

It's easier than to post a teenager that's not going to want to hear what you're saying.

Speaker 2 16:50

You understand what I'm saying Because you met your bonus son, a teenager.

Speaker 1 16:55

Yeah.

Speaker 2 16:55

Okay.

Speaker 1 16:56

Yeah, listen, if you you're like damn it, if you do damn it, if you do damn it, if you don't, now, once you don't, that person, that child, feel like they have power. They could actually manipulate yeah, and they could. Just it could be, it could be rough. It could be rough. More things is coming at you, more things is coming at you. There was, there was man it's not easy, it's, but that's why you?

Speaker 3 17:24

need the support of the mother. You and the mother got to be on the same page At first. She's going to feel betrayed, the child's going to feel betrayed and she's going to feel like she's betraying the child. But it's for the better. It's for the better of the child. How old is she now? Oh, now she's 20. Oh, wow, we're best friends when we walk. She holds my hand.

Speaker 2 17:43

Nice that's a lot of years 15. Yeah, I've been with her a lot of years.

Speaker 1 17:46

She's the best. Okay, have you ever had anybody discipline your son? Did that ever happen to you? Like say on?

Speaker 2 17:55

the spot. No, no, but I dated somebody and he did not like the person and I was like, oh, he's trying to sabotage me, he don't want me to, you know. But he didn't like this particular male for a legit reason.

Speaker 1 18:09

Right.

Speaker 2 18:09

And you know, caused a riff or whatever the case may be, but um, he had to, he had to vibe, yeah. But I never had um.

Speaker 1 18:16

Yelling.

Speaker 2 18:16

What about yelling Like they didn't get along? It was like oh my God you know. It was like oh my God you know. So yeah, but not.

Speaker 3 18:26

What do you do in a situation like that, when the stepchild just doesn't like the person that you're dating? I mean, could the child have some kind of intuition and see something that you don't see?

Speaker 2 18:34

Yeah, he did, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 18:36

You got to listen to him, you got to listen to him.

Speaker 3 18:39

He did, he did and you got to listen to your kid. You got to listen to your kid.

Speaker 2 18:43

It was at the time I was like like late 20s, you know you, you damn near at that age. If you're not married, you're auditioning to be a wife, and I thought this was the one, but clearly he wasn't.

Speaker 1 18:55

Yeah, sometimes they have that intuition, just like women have that intuition when you bring a new female into the house you know, most of the time when you bring them home and your mom and your sister be like I don't like her. Oh yeah, something wrong and the other way around too. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 19:11

Like when your girl cousin brings a guy around me, as men we'd be like nah, something wrong with you, you know what I'm saying. And later, on.

Speaker 2 19:19

I didn't see. I just I just thought he was you know, and it was. He was at that age like 13, 14, where you know how it is.

Speaker 3 19:27

Rebellion.

Speaker 2 19:28

Rebellion. Sometimes you don't even like your own kids, like sheesh, but so that's that. But do you have a child left outside?

Speaker 3 19:39

Yes, so I have my. I have a son, okay, yeah, my son. He lives with his mom, but he comes over every other weekend and when he comes over he's, I mean, everybody says their child's a good child. But he's a pretty good child. So when I do leave him alone with my wife and there is an issue probably been one or two issues my wife is very careful. She treads lightly and she'll just. If it comes to it, she'll call me. You know, right, my son so-and-so, so-and-so, my son so. And so all I got to do is get on the phone with him and I'll be like listen, chill out do you take?

Speaker 2 20:14

so alright, he comes to your home, but do you have time with you and him? Because, remember, now you got a family and he's going to feel like an outsider. Do you take that necessary step and I?

Speaker 3 20:25

yes, I used to overdo it to the point where it affected my household.

Speaker 2 20:31

I think it's a necessary thing. Go ahead, and I'll let you finish.

Speaker 3 20:36

So I used to overdo it, because I used to overcompensate, because he's not around me all the time, he only comes on holidays. So whenever he came over, I used to give all my attention to him and I was oblivious to the fact that my wife and my daughter is looking like you know. But it never caused any tension between them. But after a while my wife and my daughter came they said you listen, when he's around, you know, you just give him all your attention and I'm like well, I feel like.

Speaker 2 21:01

He doesn't live there.

Speaker 3 21:02

That's you know. That's what I say. I said, listen, he's not around all the time, so I feel like I have to overcompensate now.

Speaker 2 21:10

I don't think there's anything wrong with it. The same guy, when I was dating him, he had a son and he would like so. His son used to come from out of state and he's like I don't want to spend the night Because it's just a little too. He's like, no, you can stay. I was like no, he's out of, he's from out of state. I believe that you should, you know, give him all your attention. So one morning I was leaving, I was like he was like you coming back. I was like, no, I'll see you Monday. And then the son was like good, right.

Speaker 2 21:36

Cause he felt it and I said I told you, you, you know like he needs your time, he's from out of state, he's here, here and he doesn't necessarily want to see me here. So when he said that, good, and you know he disciplined them and I was like I was trying to tell you same thing, like with my son, and I used to tell my son's father, like you need to, yes, you have a woman, but yes, I don't necessarily want to go to your woman's house yeah for the weekend, like that's your time you get to see her, or week.

Speaker 2 22:04

I think you should just make time with your child. So I don't think it's overcompensation. At the end of the day, you live with the two of them. I mean, that's just my opinion. I understand you live with the two of them and you're a male, he's a male. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I think that time apart is good and that overcompensating Like that time apart is good and that overcompensating, Like I said, you don't live, you're with them all the time and he's just here for holidays.

Speaker 3 22:31

Yeah, and as we found a place in the middle, A happy medium. Yes, and as he got older, you know he needed less and less attention.

Speaker 2 22:44

So you know, now he's a teenager, now it's like he's on the video games.

Speaker 3 22:47

He don't even pay me no mind, no more man.

Speaker 2 22:48

you'd be lucky if they pick up the phone.

Speaker 3 22:50

Yeah you know. So it's all good now, but it was a little issue coming up and I had to look at myself. It depends on how you look at it From their perspective. I understand where they're coming from.

Speaker 2 23:01

Right, no, I understand, I understand, but, like I said, he doesn't live there and they do, and then you have a thing where, like that's not, your Kids think about a lot of things. That's not your biological kid and I am, it's just, it's a lot.

Speaker 1 23:18

I have a question for y'all. What was y'all On the dating scene when y'all was coming up without kids? What was you preferring? If a situation came up and a gentleman for you had a kid, would you talk to him? If the girl you wanted was going to talk to she had a kid, what would you do?

Dating and Parenting Perspectives

Speaker 2 23:39

I would prefer not to, but I would be selfish because I've had my kids since I was 16. So basically, everybody I met, I already had a kid, so I had to. Ideally I wouldn't want to be bothered with a kid, because it's just like I have to divide my time. I have to realize that my time, his time, has to be divided, right. But if it's a kid and it's you know, if a kid is involved, then I'll just have to. You know I'll accept it. But I would prefer no kids and no ex-wives either. Yeah, the first option always was no kids.

Speaker 3 24:14

I mean, I don't think anybody really wants to date anybody with kids. But you know, it depends on how much you like the person that you're dating. You know Sometimes you're willing to. I don't tolerate it or whatsoever, but it's always the first option to have somebody that's kidless and it gives you the hope that you'll be able to start a family with them, you understand.

Speaker 1 24:35

So at what age did you start dealing with women that had kids?

Speaker 3 24:43

Well, you know, by the time we was about 30, everybody. If you found a woman that didn't have kids, most likely down to nine out of ten times might have been something wrong.

Speaker 1 24:52

You know, right and that was my thing, that was my um I I like up to my 30s or something like that. I wasn't dating women with kids. Okay, I didn't care. I was like you know, I remember this chick um, I was in a club, so I'm talking to her and she said, yeah, this is the first time I'm going out in a long, long time. I said, oh, really. She said yeah, because I just had a baby. I said, matter of fact, I was in my late 20s, something like that, early 30s, and she was like 26, 26 or 25 and I said, oh, you just had a baby. I said how long? She said around six months oh, that's fresh.

Speaker 1 25:35

I said. I said, I said why are you out?

Speaker 2 25:38

she's closed out.

Speaker 1 25:38

She's not healed, yet she's closed out. So now? So now I was talking to her. She's saying that she's saying she had a kid and I'm like she's six months. I said I said what happened to the baby father, I'm in the club telling her that she's like, yeah, nah, we just broke up and stuff like that. I told her that I think you should get back with her. Any woman that I met then I used to tell them I think the best thing is for for you to get back with the father of your child. All right, everything is because I never wanted to be looked at as not even a stepdad.

Speaker 3 26:09

A homewrecker.

Speaker 1 26:10

Yeah, yeah, like for the child to look at me in any type of way, like, okay, you're intruding Always the child and I stuck with it.

Speaker 3 26:21

My rules is I had when I got older and I was dating women with kids. I had maybe the two kid, one baby daddy rule. Okay, if you had two kids, one baby daddy was fine, but once you had multiple kids with more than one baby daddy never really going to take you seriously.

Speaker 2 26:39

No, you might stick around have a little bit of fun.

Speaker 3 26:42

That's a party. Yeah, party, yeah.

Speaker 2 26:47

So I didn't have more than one kid because of that. I didn't want, and I have friends with more than one baby daddy and I know that they kind of probably feel the way when I say it. But in terms of a woman, what do you feel when a woman has more than one child's father?

Speaker 3 27:05

This goes back to my parents. I'm actually worried. I can't I mean in the Westina household that I am. If you come home with a woman and she has multiple kids, first of all that's pretty bad in my household. But if you have multiple kids with multiple baby fathers, they look at you and it's like you're an idiot what's wrong with you? Why are you bringing a woman with multiple? You could do better. You're an idiot Like. What's wrong with you? Why are you bringing a woman with multiple? You could do better?

Speaker 2 27:31

You're making our family look bad, right, I mean as a mother to a son too, if he came home and had a female that had multiple baby daddies and he wanted to be third, like whoa?

Speaker 1 27:46

Sheesh yeah.

Speaker 3 27:49

That's rough. Yeah, yeah, it gets complicated man.

Speaker 2 27:51

Oh, multiple um parents get complicated, yeah what's that show part? Partridge, you know now he's talking about it.

Speaker 1 27:57

Now, brady bunch for real, right yeah pretty much a little different.

Speaker 2 28:01

It's a little different but? But how do you guys feel when a baby mother will shun the baby daddy that brings food for his kid? That's his kid. I mean if he doesn't want to bring kids food.

Dating Expectations and Financial Dynamics

Speaker 1 28:17

Oh, you're talking about that clip. It's a lot of those clips, but that's his kid. If there's five kids and he just brings food for one.

Speaker 2 28:24

We don't know what this guy's financial layout is. You know there's nothing wrong with it. His kid is hungry and that's his kid. He's bringing food for his kid. You can't shun him for not bringing food for your other four kids, that you have other people. I think that's just not fair. But you do have men that's going to bring for all the kids. They don't even care. You know what I mean. But, like I said, we don't know what this man's financial availability is. And he's taking care of his kid.

Speaker 3 28:58

I feel that's his option.

Speaker 2 28:59

Yeah, it is his option, the woman can't get mad because of that. No, they get mad. You're not supposed to get mad. You're not supposed to get mad. You're not supposed to yeah because it's not his responsibility. How about you feed your kids? You know what I mean. Like it's not on other men to bring.

Speaker 3 29:13

Why about their fathers? Feed them? You know, that's right, but I would do it.

Speaker 2 29:17

You have a lot of males. You feed all five.

Speaker 3 29:19

I don't know about five.

Speaker 2 29:22

It's another two or three in there. Another two or three, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 29:25

Well hold on.

Speaker 3 29:26

Get something that will feed everybody.

Speaker 1 29:28

Hold on. But you said you're saying that like it's. You know you don't see no problem. So now suppose a gentleman says okay, I'm going to come bring you food. While he's dealing with you, he knows you have a son, but he just comes and brings food for you. It's dinner time.

Speaker 2 29:42

He brings food for, and then what you're?

Speaker 1 29:43

going to do? Is you're going to give it to your son?

Speaker 2 29:45

I'll share it with my son, but I'm looking in my lens, I'm trying to.

Speaker 1 29:53

How would you look at him If you say we're?

Speaker 2 29:56

hungry. He's insensitive, but then again I would have to know what his financial abilities are, what Maybe he buys a large one and it's just for me and my kid. I can't fault him. In whatever case may be, I can't say it depends on what I said, me and my Say we hungry, we are hungry, yeah.

Speaker 1 30:14

And if he Comes with a medium, with a medium, you know, it isn't, but that's not his responsibility to feed me either. It's not a responsibility. Okay, when you're dating, when you're dating or when you're in a relationship, you don't have that responsibility.

Speaker 2 30:31

That's not his responsibility. No, it's not. But if I say, hey, babes, me and him, we're hungry and he brings one, then it's like all right, I said we're hungry, it's a little different.

Speaker 3 30:42

It feels like he's not invested into you.

Speaker 1 30:44

Right, right, he's like man screw this kid yeah yeah, yeah, you come with food for your son and your wife and your daughter. Like how would that look? Yeah.

Speaker 2 30:54

It doesn't look good. It doesn't look good, so like we probably won't have much more dates after that.

Speaker 1 30:59

Right, they get their working papers.

Speaker 2 31:01

At least they show you ahead of time. Of course it shows me your character. Yeah, it shows me your character.

Speaker 1 31:06

It's. You know, like some women, their demands is outrageous. So then, that's why I'm such Especially now. Yeah, they want you to pay for them.

Speaker 2 31:20

And me and Ma had this discussion a lot. I'm not used to. The only time I'm going to pay for a date Is if it's his birthday or Father's Day. I don't see a need. I'm not used to.

Speaker 3 31:35

Paying for dinners. I can't say I've ever had. Yeah, I have had a woman pay for dinner.

Speaker 2 31:43

But it was your birthday or Father's Day.

Speaker 3 31:45

Yeah, but routinely. I mean, I pay for dinner, but I don't think that should be in stone, you understand. If she wants to pay for dinner sometime, I won't say it. Well, just to be a man.

Speaker 2 31:57

I'm like no, all right okay if you insist, if she wants to, there's nothing wrong with it, but I'm not accustomed to going to dinner with a male and paying what about going? Dutch no, she's not going for nothing. I'm not going.

Speaker 3 32:13

Dutch, she ain't going for nothing. What if it's a first date?

Speaker 2 32:16

Oh, definitely I'm not.

Speaker 3 32:18

He should be trying to impress you, right?

Speaker 2 32:19

Yeah, he's not even impressed. Like I'm not used to paying for dates, I'm not. I understand. That's just not how I, and then I don't meet those type of men. I don't, I generally don't, you probably meet them.

Speaker 3 32:34

You're just not attracted to them.

Speaker 2 32:38

I've never had a, I've never had a situation where it's like are you going to handle this?

Speaker 1 32:43

I've never had that hey.

Speaker 2 32:47

So you go on a date. First of all, you meet a woman. You introduce yourself to her. She doesn't come to you. I mean if I was the one to say hey, If you was to pursue it If I was to pursue it maybe I would, but I don't pursue because of that, because then I'm going to have to ask you to go on a date and then I ask so then I guess I probably feel obligated, but I don't want to feel that obligation at all.

Speaker 1 33:15

So then, what is the like? Okay, this is mandatory for the men that are supposed to do these things, right, but what is mandatory for the women to do?

Speaker 2 33:21

I didn't. It's a date. I mean, it's not a date, date, but I'm just saying it was mandatory.

Speaker 1 33:26

I said it's in the rule book things to do dating, or what is it? What is the rule for a woman? I sent both of y'all a video. Right, I sent both of y'all a video on instagram. I'm too sure, sorry about um this, this young lady she has a podcast she was talking to I don't know if this lady she's she's a specialist. I don't believe what. I didn't believe what she was saying. The question, the question was is it mandatory for a woman to have sex with a man while they're dating? Is it mandatory?

Speaker 2 34:01

Not if she has like a, not if if she celebrates. No, it's not mandatory, it's not mandatory, it's not Okay.

Speaker 3 34:09

If we're dating, yeah, I'm going to expect Expect sex Eventually. It depends on.

Speaker 1 34:15

Eventually how long we're dating.

Speaker 3 34:17

You understand, I might not expect it On the first or the second date, but if we're pursuing something.

Speaker 2 34:22

Oh Mott wants it. On the first date?

Speaker 1 34:23

No, no, no. Dating, dating. What if she's on a?

Speaker 2 34:27

sexual sabbatical and you really like this chick.

Speaker 3 34:30

I don't think she should be dating. Then, if she's on a sexual sabbatical, oh no, because it. Yes, y'all need to have a conversation before you do that, right, right.

Speaker 2 34:38

You really like him, Like you know what she said she's not having sex.

Speaker 1 34:44

I don't believe it, that lady, I don't believe the lady, what she was saying. She said it's not mandatory.

Speaker 2 34:48

Sounds good, because she said it's not mandatory.

Speaker 1 34:50

She said it's not mandatory, but she didn't say this is what she practices, though she's saying it's not mandatory.

Speaker 2 34:56

Because she's having a conversation. We don't have to put our business out there when we have a conversation.

Speaker 1 35:00

So then, how true could it be doing it? It's like you're a doctor prescribing drugs.

Speaker 2 35:05

you won't take so back to this dating thing. So you go on a date, you ask her to go on a date, you pay. Do you expect something after?

Speaker 3 35:15

Depends on how much I spend Selling. Omg, if you're going to order the lobster and the shrimp special, I'm going to expect something, so you're creating sex with the food. Of course, I think most men think like that.

Speaker 1 35:29

Yes, yeah, what's that steak called again? Oh, tomahawk steak, tomahawk steak yeah, so you're going straight home.

Speaker 2 35:35

So, if you so, how do you, how do you, how do?

Speaker 3 35:38

you, I might not want it that night. How do you?

Speaker 1 35:43

You got to tap to Within that week. Within that week.

Speaker 2 35:46

Lord help us.

Speaker 1 35:47

Uh-huh, so yeah.

Speaker 2 35:49

So I mean, and then you don't Like. You see, it's not happening. You really like her. You're like nah, it's a waste of my time.

Speaker 3 35:54

Yeah, I'll step off.

Speaker 2 35:55

Okay, yeah, I know you step off, so ASAP.

Speaker 1 36:00

ASAP. I mean, what would move you to be like all right, I'm really into this guy. Say he take you to get some Tomahawks and then he's taking you to LV and then go to Gucci for some slides, it's more conversation intellect no okay, say, that's like eight hours right there, then what? Then he says, come back to the crib.

Speaker 2 36:25

I can't get that back once I give it, so I have to be very careful who I give it to.

Speaker 1 36:29

No, Okay, Okay. So that's that. So you're accepting these stuff. You're accepting the tomahawk, the Louie, the Gucci and he says come to the crib.

Speaker 3 36:43

Because you know these things come with something. It's basically a nonverbal agreement.

Speaker 2 36:45

once you accept these things, Nah, it's basically a non-verbal agreement. Once you accept these things realistically.

Speaker 2 36:48

That's how it is in a man's mind okay, okay yes, you know, so I mean this ain't this, ain't me, and then I'll give him his stuff back. If he's like, listen, I didn't do this, just just for you to just tell me thank you, I'll kind of give you your stuff back you've already given some of it, not all of it, because you did you did I like it's quantitative here. Like you did, you did um I did invest time too. I have to get dressed, I have to get my hair done and all that stuff.

Speaker 1 37:15

So he's gonna say listen, give me that tomahawk steak too, have you go um. You know, go throw that up. You know what I mean, you know but it's um.

Speaker 2 37:24

So I mean, if he, he, if he like listen, like I'm not doing this just for thank yous and likes, and whatever the case may be, like alright, and I feel like I don't, maybe I don't want to have sex with this guy. Then that's it, I'll have to end it, and he'll want to end it too, because he just expressed to me like listen, I want some.

Speaker 3 37:44

Some guys won't add it. They'll keep pursuing it because they feel like you owe me. You owe me now, not even.

Speaker 2 37:48

Because now you're a chase, yeah, but now I know I'm a chase and I know once you get it, you're gone. So you're definitely not getting it.

Speaker 1 37:57

That's a greasy game out here.

Views on Dating and Intimacy

Speaker 2 37:58

It is a greasy game. You guys like a good chase, but I don't want to play the chasing game. I don't have a chasing game in me. This is not what I want to do. I already know. I probably don't know from the first date if you're going to get it or not, and I'll still accept the stuff. I'll be honest with you.

Speaker 3 38:14

I'm actually more attracted to women that will give me a little hold out. I take it more seriously, as opposed to somebody that will ride on the first date. I won't take it seriously, you won't respect her.

Speaker 1 38:24

Yes, I won't respect her, not me, not me.

Speaker 2 38:30

You respect her. After the first Like, it's the first night.

Speaker 1 38:33

No, it just tells me who you are when you give it up right away.

Speaker 2 38:36

What.

Speaker 1 38:38

Is that a positive thing or a negative thing? No, let's just it's a positive. Really, I don't see it like that. Let's unpack that.

Speaker 1 38:44

What is it telling you? It's telling me that she knows what she wants. She knows what she wants and this is what it is Today, tomorrow, next week. This is what it is. Let's get this out the way and then we're going to see who we really are. All right, is Mark going to stay? Okay, I mean, I have to respect. Is Mark going to stay? I have to respect your. That's what worked for me.

Speaker 2 39:09

And at your age not that you're looking because you are engaged. I guess at your age you don't have time to waste, because we really don't have time to waste.

Speaker 1 39:17

I'll tell you the truth Honestly. That's the relationships that I've had. Long-term relationships is usually when I sleep with them on the first night. Now, if any woman gives me past like a week or so, listen. I don't got time Like no, I mean well, certain circumstances, things happen, but no, we just going to chill, we're not, you know.

Speaker 3 39:38

Let me chirp in on that. I feel the opposite. I feel if you give it to me on the first night, you have no self-control, and when I'm not around you and you're around somebody that you're attracted to, you'll give it up the same way. By you holding out, that shows that you're you could control your emotions, you could be trustworthy. You know it's all positive to me if you made me, made a week, two weeks, that's even better. But for me, giving you right away, that just gives me a whole.

Speaker 1 40:04

It's kind of it's how she gives me it gives me the whole vibes.

Speaker 3 40:07

It gives me the whole vibes.

Speaker 1 40:08

It's kind of whole vibes, but it's according to how you got it. I mean what works?

Speaker 3 40:11

for you.

Speaker 1 40:12

It's according to what you said, to get it In the car Anyway.

Speaker 2 40:15

So you're looking at her like.

Speaker 1 40:18

Say you meet her in a club or something, it's according to what you say and how you got it, even if it's like in a car. Oh, you mean sex in the car. What do you mean? We're fighting.

Speaker 2 40:31

She can't even wait to get home. No, no, no, and she's bringing you home like the first day, like I don't even know you Like.

Speaker 1 40:38

sometimes you're on the first day with some males.

Speaker 2 40:40

You don't even know their last name. So how am I giving it to you? I don't even know your last name.

Speaker 1 40:44

Now listen, Listen.

Speaker 3 40:53

Nothing's.

Speaker 2 40:54

And then you break up Things happen, let's get this stuff out the way you ever had a one night stand, of course. How do you look at this female after it's a one night stand, drunk or not drunk?

Speaker 3 41:00

It's just, I don't take it seriously. It was fun, we had a little fun and that's pretty much it.

Speaker 1 41:05

But as far as one night stands it could be good and it could be bad. How many summer swim night stands you had?

Speaker 2 41:13

None, and it's not on my bucket list.

Speaker 1 41:16

You never had, not one.

Speaker 2 41:20

No Two day stand no no no no it ain't no one night stand over here.

Speaker 1 41:28

And it's not on my bucket list either. It's not a bucket list. Things happen. You was never really a hard body drinker like that anyway.

Speaker 3 41:35

Yeah, alcohol plays a major part in it.

Speaker 1 41:37

I mean, I get a little loose. I probably feel a little frontacious, you're a one drink specialist. You catch them girls, with them four drinks. It's over.

Speaker 3 41:46

Especially if they're drinking at a Henny.

Speaker 2 41:48

And sloppy drunk females. I look at them in the club like ugh. And sloppy drunk females, don't? I look at them in the club like ugh. I don't get sloppy drunk stuff like that.

Speaker 1 41:55

What about, like, if you say you ready for that time and say you ready, and then that person wants to have sex without a condom on? Oh no.

Speaker 2 42:10

Would you look at them? How would you look at them? No, self-control, I mean yeah, and then with that, that's a whole nother. When you start taking condoms off, you're really invested in each other at that point, as a female, I'm gonna go out there.

Speaker 3 42:29

I don't think any guy ever turned on sex because he didn't have a condom. Most guys don't, right you understand. Once turned on sex because he didn't have a condom Most guys don't Right. You understand Once you're in the heat of the passion of the moment, with all that's going on now. You're not thinking straight at the moment.

Speaker 2 42:43

anyway, You're horny, you're drunk.

Speaker 3 42:46

You just want to.

Speaker 2 42:47

Okay.

Speaker 3 42:48

You know that goes out the window. You take chances. Men take a lot of chances. Yeah, I take a lot of chances. Everybody took them. All men took numerous chances.

Speaker 1 42:54

Yeah, they say throw your um, throw your um throw your private um crap table. So it's like it's um, but then um, I think it's more. It's more of a crime for a woman to want to accept that accept that it's a crime.

Speaker 2 43:11

What if a female says hey, I'm going to go get tested and I want to see your results and I want you to bring me mines. Would you do that?

Speaker 1 43:19

What do you mean After she's pregnant?

Speaker 2 43:21

No, just before she give it to you.

Speaker 3 43:23

That's much before. We have to be vested in order. I mean, what if she?

Speaker 2 43:27

wants to do that. You don't think that's a responsible thing?

Speaker 3 43:29

It's responsible, but it's a little extreme. Oh okay, I'm just asking.

Speaker 1 43:35

It's extreme.

Speaker 2 43:36

It's like who do you think?

Speaker 3 43:36

you are.

Speaker 2 43:38

She wants to know, she wants to show you hey, I'm clean, I want to make sure you're clean too. I'm just saying, well, I'm just doing it out there.

Speaker 1 43:48

I guess it depends on who it is. The woman you know, she probably finished living her life in a brothel. Now she's trying to be. All you know. Mrs Queen, oh Lord, she over there by Pennsylvania Avenue.

Speaker 2 43:58

So the Knicks is in the playoffs. Yeah, you a Knicks fan.

Speaker 1 44:03

I know you are. I'm a bootleg Knicks fan. You know, when they win it, I'm with them.

Speaker 2 44:06

Actually, I'm only into basketball around this time. So right now, what are we doing? Where is? So right now, what are we doing? Is it the last of? So who was Knicks playing last night?

Speaker 3 44:16

The Philadelphia 76ers. It was game one of a seven-game series the Knicks won in New York last night.

Speaker 2 44:22

So, east and West, they're down to the wire now.

Speaker 3 44:26

No, oh, not yet. No, but they're in the first component.

Speaker 2 44:29

Okay, so who else is playing on the East side? I don't care about the East side.

Speaker 3 44:34

The Celtics played in Miami Heat today the Celtics won.

Speaker 2 44:36

So those two teams are competing, and then the other two teams are.

Speaker 3 44:39

There's more than there's actually eight on each side.

Speaker 2 44:41

Right now Eight teams in the east and eight in the west.

Speaker 3 44:46

And eight turns into four and four turns into two and two eventually turns into.

Speaker 2 44:51

Oh my God, that's going to be crazy if we win, since what?

Speaker 3 44:55

1973? Mine should know better than me. I'm not really a Nick fan like that, I'm a convert now it's a while.

Speaker 1 45:01

It's a while it's in the 70s, definitely not in the 80s. Did you buy any?

Speaker 2 45:06

Nick wear.

Speaker 3 45:09

I'm not a Nick fan. To that extent I'm just now getting I'm a little bit of a convert. I used to be a Nick Hader Me and Mont discussed this because I was a Michael Jordan Bulls fan and those guys were arch enemies. So I held that hate for many years. But as I got older I let it go and now I'm looking at the Knicks. They got a pretty good team.

Speaker 2 45:26

Jalen yeah.

Speaker 3 45:29

They have the ability to go far in the playoffs. I don't think they're going to be able to win it the whole thing right now, but they have a bright future ahead of them. Okay All right.

Speaker 1 45:39

They're going to need more than Jalen to really really bring it home.

Speaker 2 45:43

I saw last week you had a Knicks jacket on. Oh yeah.

Speaker 1 45:45

I got calls saying why are you doing that? I never heard you talk about Knicks all these years, Mike. Why are you doing that now? I said yo, listen. I cheered in silence, brothers. I don't have to be out loud like y'all. Y'all are the ones who be jinxing him. Go Nick's out when the next. No, I'm quiet.

Speaker 3 46:03

And you experienced a lot of pain throughout the years. There's a lot of trauma that goes along with being a Nick's fan.

Speaker 2 46:13

Yes, yes, yes. A lot of ups and downs, A lot of more downs, no ditty. So which Nick greats did we have? We had John Starks.

Speaker 1 46:19

He was not no great.

Speaker 3 46:20

I wouldn't say great. He was pretty good. A great would be more like Patrick Ewing.

Speaker 1 46:23

Yeah, patrick Ewing, patrick Ewing.

Speaker 2 46:24

Patrick Ewing.

Speaker 1 46:26

What's his name? What's the homeboy who came out the tunnel? Hurt yeah, hurt yeah. They won Carmelo, walt Frazier, walt Frazier's won, but Bernard.

Speaker 3 46:36

King.

Speaker 1 46:36

Bernard King.

Speaker 2 46:38

Who else we had.

Speaker 3 46:40

And Walt Clair Frazier, of course.

Speaker 2 46:42

Was Carmelo playing for us a little bit.

Speaker 3 46:44

Yeah, a few years ago. That has to be like more than 10 years ago. Yeah, carmelo was over there, he brought some excitement to New York and they made it to the playoffs but they didn't. They run out of, if I can recall the run. They didn't really go too far in the playoffs right, okay, but we had some brutes though.

Speaker 1 47:00

We had Oakley, we had Mason yeah, it was tough. Rip Mason, you see, but now. But now our brute is like that OG guy, but he's not really a brood, that African dude.

Speaker 3 47:13

I know that came from Toronto. Yeah, he's a brood. Og Beninobi, he's a brood, but we need for the playoffs.

Speaker 1 47:17

We need more broods. Okay, Bronson is a brood also, yeah, but you know we're going to need some more to really get it done. Okay For.

Speaker 3 47:25

Shizzle. On the west side we have Well my only concern on the west side you know me and my guy is that LeBron gets in. The Lakers get eliminated. That's the only thing I'm worried about on the west side. But right now the favorite on the west side is LeBron is playing Denver Nuggets. Okay With the Joker.

Speaker 2 47:45

Are the Warriors still in?

Speaker 3 47:47

No, they got eliminated in the play-in game over the weekend.

Speaker 2 47:55

Okay, I bought a. I did buy a pair of Bo Jackson's Nice, the original with the orange and the blue. So that's my contribution to this whole Knicks thing, or whatever, but Bo Jackson didn't he play. He was a phenomenon, yeah, but it had the colors, though, so I caught him. I said, all right, I'll wear that at work till, they win.

Speaker 1 48:23

I actually went to a game. My fiance bought me some tickets for Christmas present.

Speaker 2 48:29

Okay.

Speaker 1 48:29

I forgot who they played, but they won. And I was telling my homeboys Okay, I saw it, I saw the. I forgot who they played, but they won, you know. And I was telling my homeboys who love the Knicks I'm saying, see, when I go to the game we win. You know, that's a couple months ago. That's when they really start heating up stuff like that. But let's go Knicks.

Speaker 3 48:47

Speaking of basketball, I have a new love for the sport, and it's the female college basketball has been catching my eye within the last few years. The Reese and Kaitlyn. I didn't really, yeah, kaitlyn Clark, you know.

Speaker 2 49:07

Flo J, flo J, what's the name of the one that shut Kaitlyn down the other day.

Speaker 1 49:11

I forgot her name. The one that took her personal Her. I forgot her name. I want to take it personal Her. I forgot her name, yeah.

Speaker 2 49:15

So I saw the whole story with Caitlyn waving her off and she was like it's personal.

Speaker 3 49:20

Yeah.

Speaker 2 49:21

And then, with that whole, the revenge tour is over. Yes, it was a year, it took a year. She said that. You know, it made her feel bad. It made us question god, yeah, she didn't want to go on. She really, really hurt her nationally.

Speaker 1 49:43

Hurt her nationally, hurt her, yeah, um, caitlin embarrassed her, then she embarrassed caitlin but robin of taking her cookies, oh yeah yeah, but I don't like how this caitlin clark thing is playing out, like we're giving caitlin all the glory and that's true southern south carolina south carolina right university of south carolina usc1 right and this whole and I hate when race, you know it's always, it's always race.

Speaker 2 50:06

I'm gonna say hate, it's always, race, right. So apparently Caitlyn's team got invited to SNL Last year, lsu.

Speaker 3 50:18

Yeah, LSU with Reese.

Speaker 2 50:19

As you beat.

Speaker 3 50:21

Iowa, Iowa yeah.

Speaker 2 50:23

And Jill Biden was like oh, we want both of them to come to the White House. Why, it's always the winners Right. And then some reporter called Reese and I'm Dirty Debutantes, yes like you know, and then you ask like well, we always have a chip on our shoulders because this is this and we only. We go through this at work. We go through this like all the time, like there's no reason why we're praising Caitlyn and I'm not giving these girls their roses, and it really, really upsets me.

Speaker 1 50:57

And you know what else, you know what else is going on. She's getting, I think I believe, a Nike deal, a Nike deal, a big, huge deal. Right, let me tell you the thing about it is all right, she's the number one pick. I think she's getting like a good $7, $8 million Nike deal. She's getting like a good seven, eight million dollar Nike deal. But then they got people who's in the WNBA. There's this black girl. She's won, I think, two Olympics, like two championships, nothing, four MVPs, no endorsements. No, no, no, no Nike endorsements. And she's like yo, how come she could come in and get it? She can't. She would come in and get this type of big deal and look, I've been here, I've been here.

Speaker 2 51:38

Because they feel sorry for her. They really feel sorry for her. Because they feel sorry for who, Caitlyn? They feel sorry for her because, like you don't need and you didn't, You're number one. You never won a championship.

Speaker 1 51:51

No, that's not being. I don't think they're doing it because they feel sorry for her.

Speaker 2 51:54

No, no, they feel sorry for her. Plus she's white yeah.

Speaker 1 51:56

Right you know.

Speaker 2 51:57

And then look, prada set her up Apparently. That outfit was $42,500. Like you couldn't give. I don't think anybody else, none of them, you know, got, you know, is like hey, let me dress you, or whatever the case may be, it's just this whole situation got whitewashed.

Speaker 3 52:16

I mean y'all going to kill me for this. But I kind of understand why Nike's offering that money, cause she bought a lot more viewership. She bought a lot of money into college basketball.

Speaker 2 52:26

Okay, I mean it's business.

Speaker 3 52:28

Yeah, from the business aspect.

Speaker 2 52:30

I don't like the fact. Like I said, with. Jill Biden. Oh, let's invite the losers as well. Why? Because they lost.

Speaker 1 52:35

Yeah, yeah, I understand what you're saying and then SNL like how you don't invite the winners.

Speaker 2 52:41

You invite the losers yeah.

Speaker 3 52:44

That's racism right in your face. Definitely Not fair.

Speaker 1 52:47

I think it's more about integrity. It's like, you know, you, you okay, it's about business, but what about the why the game is not growing to begin with? Because you're not celebrating the one who's actually doing it she, she's actually there and you're not. You know who's actually dumb the girl that's MVP, the lady that's MVP on the?

Speaker 2 53:06

older, the older the expert. Yeah, so, dawn Staley, what are you talking about now?

Speaker 1 53:10

I forgot her name, the one who's in the WNBA. I'm sorry, I forgot her name. Okay, she had all those accolades and not a sneaker deal and not a major deal like that. Okay, so it's like I get it. It's about what you're bringing. You know, viewership, viewership, but it's all right, when she gets to the league, it's going to be different.

Speaker 2 53:31

Oh yeah, there's going to be rookies all over Like they're going to. She's going to, she's going to learn today, right, I mean now, she's nice they wait for her. Them girls are waiting for her. She's nice.

Speaker 3 53:43

And it is, but she's going to. She's causing a lot more little white girls wanting to play basketball. Now she, she's nice, she's a great way to hope. Yeah.

Speaker 1 53:52

All right. So yes, this is episode 81. Your Opinion Doesn't Matter, podcast man, and usually we do. You know some closing words. You know my closing words is I said it before, I'll say it again you say and if you knew better, you'd do better, right, better right and um take advantage of um, take advantage of time. Certain things you can't get back, make every second count, every minute count, every hour, day, weekend, month count, because when you look back, you can only remember the year, you can't remember the day, you can't remember the time, because I'm I'm looking back at my daughter's pictures when she was two and I was so happy. Now she's five you know what I'm saying and I can't remember what month those pictures was taken in you know beside, hey, it's going to be summertime, but you know you got to cherish the moment.

Speaker 1 54:45

You know what I'm saying. That goes into if you knew better, you do better. So now we know that time is, like you know we, limited, not really limited, I don't want to say that. But you know, we gotta, we gotta make, make every second count.

Speaker 3 55:03

And as, as we about to leave, I got some words also. I believe that our health is wealth and, as a black man, middle-aged black man, all the black men out there should invest into going to the doctor, eating healthy, exercising, and we got to get our yearly checkups just to go there, just to check up, make sure everything is OK, because a lot of these diseases now they could be detected early just by taking blood.

Bonding Time With Absentee Parents

Speaker 2 55:34

So don't be afraid of the doctor. Uh, what I have to say? Getting back to what? Um, the whole bonus parent. Uh, my ending thought is on this bonus parent. I believe that when you're a absentee, which is a parent outside the home, and you go spend time with your child, you should commit to time with the two of you alone, or the three of you alone, because that time is needed, whether it's just go to the library, get some ice cream. Just make a commitment to do something with that child where there's no outside influences or outside people. Just make it a nice bonding time because it carries. It goes a long way. So, yes, this is the your Opinion Doesn't Matter.

Speaker 1 56:26

Podcast episode 81. 81. It's been a pleasure y'all it was a pleasure too it was a pleasure too. All right, peace, y'all Peace.