MindsetGo iCommunicate Podcast
Welcome to the iCommunicate Podcast where we develop the mindset and provide communication strategies to foster confidence, emotional intelligence, as well as organizational, team, or personal growth. Our progress and improvement is not limited to a training session; it embodies a constant cycle of self-reflection and continued learning on individual and communal levels.
MindsetGo iCommunicate Podcast
ICommunicate Podcast #110: Transparency - Pros and Cons
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Welcome to i Community on Full Service Radio 830 WCRM. To join the conversation, call 508-871-7000. Now, here's your host, Mark Altman.
SPEAKER_00All right, good morning. It's morning. It's not afternoon. It's morning, Ted.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it is.
SPEAKER_00And so I was so tempted to try to impersonate Robin Williams' opening to Good Morning Vietnam, but I couldn't even come close. Rest in peace, Robin Williams. He was the best. And so Good morning, New England. There it is. And so, hey, we're at our new time, 10 a.m. So happy to be a part of this station and so grateful for this opportunity. And so, Ted, today I've been giving a lot of thought to the concept of open, honest communication. And what's interesting is, you know the expression, Ted, when people will say either one of these two phrases. They'll say, I wear my heart on my sleeve, or they'll say, I'm the kind of person I just tell it like it is. And I think of those two uh phrases, and I think to myself, when people say those phrases, they say it with such pride. They're so proud that I wear my heart on my sleeve, I tell it like it is, because they're very transparent in how they communicate. You with me?
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah, in either case, there's gonna be blood.
SPEAKER_00Exactly. Exactly. And so today what we're gonna look at is, and this has been a lot of soul searching for me because I am such a proponent of creating a culture of open and honest communication. But today we're gonna go a little bit different, different direction, right? We're gonna talk about the benefits to it, but we're also gonna talk about uh in the workplace when you have a lack of boundaries, and in many cases when you communicate too much information and where the consequences can lie there. And so, Ted, this made me reminisce about a fourth grade science project I had. And for all you fourth grader teacher, fourth grade teachers out there who know how much of an impact you have on kids, you're really going to appreciate this story.
SPEAKER_02All right, let me wait, hold on, let me get my time machine going. Right? All right, go ahead. There we go. Fourth grade.
SPEAKER_00All right, that's awesome. So, fourth grade, Mrs. Skina, not the friendliest person in the world, but a good teacher. And so she had us do a project on four words transparent, translucent, reflective, and opaque. And this was one of the few science projects I ever enjoyed in my school career.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah, just a little light work.
SPEAKER_00Right, right. But the one thing that I I enjoyed the project, but the one thing I remember is when she described transparent, so we could all understand, she says, transparent is see-through. You can see through, that's transparent. And as I got older and I thought of transparent communication, I said, Wow, that's that's what transparent communication is. You can see through everything. There's no mystery, there's no guessing, nothing. So look, the characteristics of transparent communication and why it's often conveyed in such a positive light is because you want people to know what's going on. Most people don't like surprises, they don't like the unknown, and so transparency is a way to it's almost like a a preventative technique for people when they communicate. So, hey, you have the information you need. I did my job, I gave it to you, I'm off the hook, we're good to go, right?
SPEAKER_02You put your finger on it, off the hook. I'm off the hook.
SPEAKER_00And what's interesting, Ted, about this is I'm gonna throw, so I have a uh, by the way, this is not like one of these stories when you say this is a friend of mine when it's really you, this really is a friend of mine. So I have a friend of mine who uh actually is dating this woman, and and he made the point to me the other day. He said to me, he goes, you know, I really like her, but um I still want to see other women. And so I said, Um, did you tell her? And he said, I did, and she wasn't very happy about it. And he said, But she's gonna stay with you, and he said, Yeah. And so this is the this is the reason why I'm telling that story, because I think whether you're a man or a woman, if you're transparent in your agenda or what your feelings are and your emotions are, and you say, Hey, listen, just so you know, this isn't exclusive, I want to see other people, if that partner chooses to stay with you, it almost feels like, all right, buyer beware. You know, I I told you what I'm gonna do. But if the partner stays with them and the partner's miserable in the process, you didn't really do your job by just being transparent and sharing that information. Does this make sense?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, but you're in a very dangerous category of human communication. Um there's this world betrayal that comes up when you discuss these things. And by being transparent, if you're saying that you're offering information so that there will be no betrayal interpreted, that's one thing. If you're saying that maybe this situation is better that I ask for forgiveness rather than permission, then that's another thing. But if it's a very difficult part of human communication because some people are incapable of understanding that people take what they need. It isn't necessarily uh necessarily betrayal. They take what they need to get what they m must have. And not everybody was brought up that way.
SPEAKER_00Well, Ted, I think that's frankly brilliant. I'll tell you why, because I think what you're speaking to at a higher level is what is your end goal and objective when you are transparent with people in general? So if if if I said to you, if I give you feedback about something and I'm transparent about it, then what's my ultimate goal? Why am I giving you the feedback in the first place? What am I is it self-serving? Is it for the greater good? Is it going to accomplish some kind of habit change or behavioral improvement?
SPEAKER_02I think it's the first thing. It's the first thing. People, you know, say what they say to protect themselves and or to project themselves.
SPEAKER_00Well, so so Ted, this is really funny because you know, because I think you're such a great guy. I mean, I even when I'm not here at the station, I think of you uh And this is a good thing.
SPEAKER_02You do not call me in the middle of the night, I want people to know.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I like it. Um and so here's the thing. Do you remember you taught me uh this has to be several months ago. We talked about communication, we talked about prefixes and suffixes with communication.
SPEAKER_02Sure, yeah. If you say one thing a certain way, you're gonna have a uh a better result because you set it up. Right. If you say it another way where you say it and then you try to set it up, it's another thing.
SPEAKER_00Right. So so here's an example before we get too deep into transparency today. Here's an example of using a prefix versus a suffix in communication. So my former mother-in-law makes the best apple cake. And uh she she always, when my when my son goes up to see her at the Cape, she always makes sends one back for me just as a kind gesture and so on and so forth. So this time the apple cake came back and I had it, and I was like, huh, it's not doesn't taste quite the same as it usually does. And so Cole, my son Cole says to me, he goes, Well, Dad, she used different kinds of apples this time because she couldn't find the normal apples. So I said, fine. So anyway, I texted her thank you, and I said, Hey, thank you very much for thinking of me and making the apple cake. So she texts me back, Ted. What did you think of it? Oh so this is so I I literally thought about this, and I remembered your prefix, suffix, communication thinking, this is what I texted back. I said, you know, it wasn't as sweet and moist as it normally it was, but it was still really good. And so she said, quote unquote, I felt the same way. Thanks for confirming. So a couple of things on this is one is Cole was in the room and I said, now, Cole, think of what I just said, and I said it out loud. Now, do you think she would have heard the message differently if I had said um it was really good, just not as sweet and moist as usual. I said, Do you think she would have heard that message differently? And he goes, I do. And so this this is why communication's so complex. I mean, even there's an example when I talk on the show a lot about staying away from the word but. However, in the prefix-suffix situation of communication, if you said, you know, it wasn't as sweet and moist as normal, but it was still really good in that case, but almost as good. Right? So this is why when you're learning about communication, it's very overwhelming to people. A lot of people perceive um effective communication or using emotional intelligence when you speak as very overwhelming. It feels like there's a lot of rules to remember and things to manage and so on and so forth. And you know what? There is, if it's not second nature to you, if it's not an innate thing for you to do these things, it is. It's it's a learned behaviors and habits. You know, and I'll tell you one more example is think about the dangerous question a woman could ask a man, how do I look in this outfit? Now, if you ask any man, if they get that question, they want to run, like they don't want to answer it, and if they do answer it, they're always gonna say something really positive. Which begs the question to me, Ted, if we all know that universally, that men are just inherently going to say something positive because they don't want to get in trouble, that the woman isn't really getting authentic communication. And I think most women know that, that when they ask that question, they're probably not necessarily getting authentic communication. So what if a man said, what if a man said, Boy, I have to tell you, um, I like your outfit, but I'll tell you, compared to some of the no, I like your outfit, but compared to some of your other outfits, you still look amazing or something along the line, so you still put a positive spin on it. So I think there's a way, part of being transparent in communication is being thoughtful. Part of it is thinking about what you want to communicate, like I said before, what your end objective and goal to being transparent is, and if you can communicate it in a thoughtful and kind way, still feel heard, and still feel like the person can process the information. And one thing that's really difficult is if you look at um communication, another aspect that's complex about communicate communication is you can't use the same approach for everybody, right? You know, the the expression in a few good men, you can't handle the truth from Tom Cruise to Jack Nicholson. The fact is certain people can handle communication and certain people can handle different levels of communication. And so you also have to kind of be mindful of the people around you and who you're dealing with and how you approach that. Ted, I hear I hear wheels turning.
SPEAKER_02Yes, wheels are cranking away, you know. I want to point out to the audience, though, that your host is really sophisticated in his method of speech. So sophisticated that sometimes he does it without even thinking. And um I want to point it out before we go to break, and um I and and I'm gonna do it in the fashion you did it a moment ago. I'd love to keep talking about this. However, we have to go to a break. So just remember, folks, instead of saying but, if you want to say a big butt, use the word however.
SPEAKER_00I love it. I love it. All right, so we're gonna go to break. I am Mark Altman. This is I Communicate. If you are, we'll be right back.
SPEAKER_01Now I communicate continuous on full service radio, 830 WCRM. Once again, here's your host, Mark Holtman.
SPEAKER_00Now, Ted, when the village people wrote the song Macho Man, do you think at that time they envisioned the phenomenal use for pothole man? I mean, that was a stretch.
SPEAKER_02That was that was a piece done probably five or six years ago for one of our steady hosts, that's Gary S. Goldman. And um, that whole macho man thing goes with potholes. It does. It really does. It fits.
SPEAKER_00It had a nice ring to it.
SPEAKER_02And uh it still works. I I you know I have people call and say, That's a great spot, you know, to this day. And and and I know in a way, you know, it's curious, the sound, but it made you listen. It did. And you remember the name of the. I did, I did. So that's really all that counts.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. All right. Okay. And I and I was so overwhelmed during that break with my favorite Mercury in the Trash commercial and pothole man, I I my mind was going asunder there. I understand. So, okay, back to the matter in hand, transparency. So, you know, one of the things when we look at corporate America, when we look at communication, there's internal communication and there's external communication. And what what what I find most companies are much better at do dealing with external communication than internal. And the reason why is when you look at a company's makeup and you look at a marketing department or person, you look at PR people and things like that, they're specifically part of the team to make sure the external communication is on point, whether it's brand visibility, recognition, awareness, whatever it is, but there's a lot of focus on external communication. In today's show, we're going to more focus on internal, but I do want to mention that from an external perspective, companies have a very unique problem with COVID that many have never had before. And the problem relies around the message you give to your client base about how you're handling COVID. Now, that could be from as simple as how much to tell clients about how your company is struggling or not struggling during COVID, and that could be revenues down, that could be furloughs and layoffs, it could be lots of things. Second, it could be make them feel comfortable that their service won't get interrupted. There's a lot of fear that the companies that serve you might not be able to deliver. And one of my rules of communication when you serve a client is if my client is sitting in his or her office asking the question, I wonder when Mark's going to do this, I wonder when Mark's going to get back to me on that, I wonder when Mark's going to let me know about this. My rule of thumb is I failed my client. My client should never be in the dark about what's going to happen and when it's going to happen. So a lot of companies right now, when it comes to external communication, are very fearful about how much to share, when to share it, because they're worried about the interpretation and the reaction. And this is why we're talking about this transparency thing today. And then, you know, you have this last piece where I've spoken with a lot of clients and companies that I've done training for who want to know how the companies that are serving them are treating their own and are they doing right by people. So when it comes to external communication, this is not just PR and marketing about your brand anymore. This is how you're dealing with COVID, how you're treating your people, what etiquette you're using to make sure things don't spread and that you stay in business and you can still service your customers. And so part of the challenge here also is when it comes to external communication, when you turn something over to PR and marketing, it can often become very formalized communication. And part of being transparent is sounding authentic and genuine and real, and that you're really in touch with your clients. And when it comes to internal communication, you're in touch with your own people. So some big challenges in that area, and I get more and more calls. I used to get calls more so about leadership and sales and company culture, and now I'm getting more calls about how to improve communication externally and internally. Now, from an internal perspective, there's really three different components of communication when you think about it. You've got organizational level, messages that go out to the entire company, you've got team and department level, messages that are relevant within those teams, and then you've got individual communication one-on-one. And a perfect example of this is think about certain things, and let's use sales, one of my favorite topics, Ted and I love to talk about different sales interactions. So let's talk about how communication internally takes place amongst a sales team. Let's talk about, say, from a VP of sales to the team that that person manages. And so what typically happens is what's communicated in meetings is progress. How the team and individuals are doing with quota. Is the team going to hit quota? Are individual members going to hit or exceed quota? And typically when those discussions happen, uh the expectation by the VP of sales is by sharing this information, you're going to create a culture of competition. So if Ted and I are on the same sales team and the VP of sales looks at me and goes, I gotta tell you, Mark, Ted's first, you're second. I mean, he's really raised his game and he's ahead of you. There's an assumption there that I'm gonna hear that and go, I can't let Ted beat me. You know, I gotta I gotta raise my game. And so when it comes to internal communication, I always like to start with a sales executive and a sales team because that that sales executive, part of your job is to determine how to motivate each and every individual member of that team. And I gotta tell you, if I had a sales executive say that to me and say you're not pulling your weight in front of the whole group and you need to be better, that's not only not gonna motivate me, it's gonna annoy me, right?
SPEAKER_02You're gonna be dial and zip recruiter before you leave the village. Yeah, it's almost an insult to uh call somebody out and place them in uh the the second tier.
SPEAKER_00And so so that's really where I like to start. Because when you're making a decision about transparency and communication, the first level of the decision is is this a private issue, or is this an issue that should be discussed in front of the whole team or the whole company, depending on the size of the company? And too many C-suite executives I see try to use it's almost like Ted, this is what they'll do. Let's say there's a problem with customer service, or there's a breakdown in process. They'll have like twenty, say their company's got twenty people, they'll all be sitting there, right? And the the CEO will be in front of the room and will say, Okay, so this happened. And I'm not gonna point fingers or bl or name names, yet that's 20 people in the company, and every single person sitting there knows exactly who was responsible for this. Of course. Right? And so this is this is the whole thing. You know, accountability, creating a culture of accountability is the first step in improving your internal communication. And in our blameless autopsy program we do for companies, one of the first things I mentioned in this program is that you need to stop foc focusing on who did it and why it happened and pay a lot more attention to what happened. And was there a breakdown in process? Is there even a process in place that would have prevented this in the first place? And if there is a breakdown in the process, why did it happen? And let me tell you, if you're listening to this program today and you're in a leadership position, how many people learn how to do something and then they feel like they know it so well they stop looking at the actual process and do it off memorization, and then that's when the breaks happen. It happens, right? And so look, from an internal communication perspective, if your motive, and this is what I want you to think about heading into our next segment, if your motive is self-serving, you want to get out of jail free card, you feel like, hey, I'm gonna put this message out to the whole company, and I did my job, and if they don't hear it, and they don't see it, and they don't respond to it, that's on them. You failed. If your motive is to be heard and really communicate important things, then that's a whole different story. And so think about when you're communicating, right? You've got is this the right person to communicate to? Is it the right time to communicate it to this person? And is it the right place to communicate it to those person? I feel like it's like the game of clue Ted, like Miss Scarlet with the wrench in the billiard room. It's almost that, you know, right time, right place, you know, right person.
SPEAKER_02Appropriate speech.
SPEAKER_00Appropriate speech. And so as we go into our next segment, we're gonna we're gonna get more into the strategy. Of how to have more effective, transparent internal communication. And we're also going to talk about some of the uh glaring red flags and signs when you know it's not working. Oh, good. So for Mark Altman, this is I Communicate if you'd like to call in. It's 508-871-7000. 508-871-7000. We'll be right back.
SPEAKER_01Once again, here's your host, Mark Haltman.
SPEAKER_00Okay, welcome back to iCommunicate. Glad you're with us here this morning. And you know, uh Mindset Go, when I started Mindset Go, the real focus was on uh training and coaching. And my passion for Mindset Go has always been around helping people uh build their confidence, develop more core competency, shift their mindset, things like that. But but really the the the fire in this for me is people changing a mindset from reactive to proactive. And you know, with communication, what's funny about communication is if you don't have good communication, you have nothing. And so when you are in business, because this segment's going to be about some of the problems related that are red flags and these things you can realize. Well, why are we waiting for the red flags? You know, why not get ahead of it and assess and truly understand if our internal communication communication is strong, as opposed to waiting till employees leave, waiting till employee engagement drops, productivity drops, and all those kinds of things. So here's some really quick facts about what goes on in the workplace when internal communication is poor. First of all, on average, employees spend up to two hours a day gossiping and worrying about things. Now, it frankly doesn't even have to be things actually at work. It could be in their personal life, it could be from any bucket. Second, when people are confused and when there's unknown as a result of the gossip and misinformation, you have frustration, reduced productivity, and then, of course, like I said in a minute ago, you have the loss of key employees. And by the way, replacing key employees costs 150% of their salary to replace on average. Why wouldn't that always be on the top of the list? Why wouldn't that be the focus of your plan? Now, what's interesting about communication is I remember when I had my first company, Mark Altman and Associates, dead, I literally had an epiphany one day. I had someone in my office who didn't understand a process or a protocol, and I realized that it wasn't on them, it was that the process wasn't complete. So I sent out an email to the department, and it said something along the lines of, hey, just so you know, when you handle A, B, and C next time, please know this additional step needs to take place. And I thought to myself, okay, well, I let everybody in the department know. I made sure it wasn't just this person, so very good. Good internal communication. And I don't know what came over me, Ted, but it came to me and I said, wait a second. Every new employee that starts at the company as we grow in scale, they're not gonna know about that email. So any of these internal memos or emails I send, what happens to those? If they're not built into standard operating procedures and processes, then we're gonna continue to have people raise those questions and have those problems. And I have to tell you, Ted, that is one thing I see so many companies fail to update processes, fail to include, you know, update on boarding training and things like that because it takes time. Like, oh yeah, I gotta send an email. Now I gotta update the process, now I gotta go back. But that's a huge failure point.
SPEAKER_02This goes back to when all businesses operated with a form. They used a piece of paper, a pencil. Most businesses had a clipboard at the front desk. And there were a series of questions or procedures that you went through with every customer, with every vendor, with every aspect of the business. Years later, when we moved from a clipboard with forms to computers, the form had extra lines on it, and you could write in nuances that would l affect later versions of the form when the next radiation came out. That's not always the case with software, because software, unfortunately, has to be coded tight. So in order to make a change or to add a neck a blank line, you kind of have to make a change in the software. It's not as easy as just taking the pencil and writing it, adding this to the form next time we print it. And that is what happens with procedures. That's why there's a real institutional loss of knowledge.
SPEAKER_00Well, and and what's funny about that is I call it the FAQ theory. So think about why we have FAQs, frequently asked questions. If enough people ask the question, we're like, well, we might as well just put it on our website because someone's gonna ask it, we might as well save the time. But as a as a leader, as a boss, as a mentor, when you're working with a member on your team, when you're training someone new, and if two or three people have asked the question in the span of a few months, like a bell's gotta go off. I gotta I gotta create a process for this because enough people, but yet externally, like again, for the FAQs for sales, we do that, but for internal communication, it's gone. So, look, here's what it comes down to, right? When you're when you are sending out communication, and everybody, well, the this thing I'm about to say now, everybody has been there. What I'm about to say is how often do you get a newsletter? Something you're interested in reading, from the sender of the newsletter, you like their company, you like their blog, you like their whatever. And you get so much information in the newsletter that the key things that you want people to really know and understand get lost. So when you send out a company, internal company communication, and you know who's famous for this, Ted? It drives me nuts, is school principals. School principals do this all the time. You'll get the weekly coffee school newsletter, and it's got 17 updates in it. And I'm like, I'm not reading about 17 updates. I don't know if any of those 17 will apply to me, but they're it's one of the sins of a bureaucrat.
SPEAKER_02There's no question about it.
SPEAKER_00But but they're checking off a box because they are communicating. And so this is what happens when you think you communicate effectively. I want you to ask yourself these four questions to see. Number one, is there a risk that important the real important information you need to see is buried in the communication and they might not read the whole thing, they might not read it all. Two, are there certain people you're leaving out of this communication that will come back to haunt you after the fact because it may get to them anyway, or you etiquette, etiquette-wise should be communicating them. Three, is your communication self-serving? And four, and this is a big one now more than ever, are you communicating to people are you communicating things to people in the workplace and forgetting about your remote employees? Out of sight, out of mind. You get 10 people in your facility, you walk down and say, hey, I want to make sure you all realize this, but wait a minute, I've got 20 other repo and employees, I gotta let them know too.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So these are things that are red flags to poor internal communication. And it's really a challenge because at the end of the day, and I and I talk about this, it's so frustrating with communication because you've got to you've got to manage up, down, sideways. Uh-huh. Right? People who people who are above your level of management or employee, people that are peers, people that below you, you've got to manage communication with clients, with prospects, with vendors. So there's so many levels of communication that you have to make these decisions about transparency. And again, it's not like Go ahead, no, go ahead.
SPEAKER_02Well, no, I uh you you you just pushed the the word, and that is transparency. Uh I agree with you that there are three publics that we deal with when we deal with any form of public relations. There's the internal public, which is your organization and your culture. There's your external public, which is a representation or how you want them to interpret your brand. But then there's the public that can be seen from both sides. And if it is not transparent, then it is interpreted as a shakedown scheme. You become a car salesman when they do not see transparency between what you communicate to your customer and what you communicate to yourself. If you're not honest, across that transparency, especially in the world we live in today, where information is so freely applicable and available.
SPEAKER_00Well, and what's interesting is that when I do Ted, when I do get calls from companies saying our communication is poor, it's most often in two scenarios. One, either departmental communication is poor, cross-departmental communication, or interdepartmental communication, or it'll be generational communication. So these are the main buckets of communication. Absolutely. So this is how the call typically goes, right? I'm not being funny, like seriously. No, no, no. So someone will call me up and say, Mark, you know, we we want to talk to you about helping us improve our generational communication. And I say, What's the problem? Well, our are the different generations of the company aren't really connecting. And I'll say, so. And I say it just like that. I'm like, so what? And they're like, well, it's a problem. I go, why? And I gotta tell you, Ted, Ted, 75% of the time people can't answer that next question.
SPEAKER_02They don't know.
SPEAKER_00They know it's a problem, but they don't know how to tie it into a consequence. They just know it's a problem. And I so then I'll say, Well, are employees leaving? Are employees feeling you feel like employees are disengaged? And then comes the magical part of the conversation. So they'll be like, Yeah, that's it. Productivity's down, engagement suffering, uh, relationships are poor. Okay, got it. So if I was to come in and do a year-long training program for you, um, how would you know it got better? Like, what are you looking for to know? Thank God I brought Mark in because it got so much better. And the answer is, geez, I don't know. And so I said, So here's the thing, and this is what I mean about proactive and reactive. If you're working at a company at any level right now, think about how you would personally benchmark how it is right this moment. Like what would be your rules? What do you observe? What do you see? Because you know what, Ted? The answer with ROI, with training, is most of the time seeing and hearing. What did you see and hear before I came in, and what are you seeing and hearing after I've come in?
SPEAKER_02Without that snapshot, not going to be able to really evaluate anything going forward.
SPEAKER_00That's right. So, so from a benchmark perspective, and I'll and I'll give you it in a lot of companies, Ted, you know where the real communication issue is is health benefits. Because companies will give the greatest health benefit packages, vacation time, perks, whatever, but then how many people don't really understand what the benefits are? So the internal communication of what the perks are and benefits is so poor, and then people don't even utilize or take advantage of most of them because they don't even know what they have. Right. So when we come back, we're gonna talk about why not having boundaries can come back to bite you. And we're gonna get into some, so we're gonna wrap up the show with some solutions on how you can ultimately improve your internal communication. For Mark Altman, this is I Communicate. We'll be back.
SPEAKER_01Once again, here's your host, Mark Hulk.
SPEAKER_00Ted, during the break, I just had this great epiphany. I was thinking of the possible best example of transparency in the world, and it's forced transparency, but it's still transparency. The pharmaceutical commercials, when they list the 76 side effects before the commercial ends.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. Truth and advertising.
SPEAKER_00And I sit there and listen to those commercials, I'm like, wow, tough call. You know, I could solve my problem, or I could risk having 76 other problems. It's a real tough call to me.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, the the the uh the uh they call it the disclaimer. Yeah, right. Written by attorneys, and it's usually recorded at such a speed that you can't interpret it anyway, but we take out the words that are most offensive to us, like heartburn, mindlessness, or you know. I'm sorry. I find those commercials so entertaining.
SPEAKER_00They're so so great. So, all right, so Ted, I looked up one of my favorite movies, I love Jim Carrey, and the movie Liar Liar, right? So talk about being transparent, right? So there's a scene in the movie, there's a scene in the movie when he finally has to, I you know, he has to be transparent to everybody. And he walks into the office, and I looked this up before the show, walks in the office, and the a woman sees him right when he walks in, she says, Do you like my new dress? And he says, Yes, whatever takes the focus off your face. Oh and then another guy says, What's up, what's up? And he says, Your cholesterol. And so, so when I think of I love that movie, and when I think of the farce of transparency that that movie makes, you know people that you consider oversharers. You know, and you know what, you see it a lot on social media, specifically on Facebook, people who just pontificate and go off, and they have a lack of boundaries in where they communicate.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, the hipster language is no filter, man.
SPEAKER_00Right. And so here's where it all starts. And if you could take away, if you're in charge of internal communication at your school, at your company, in your sports organization, whatever it is, this is what I want you to think about. There's this mentality of I can't win. You know, first I'm not communicating enough. Now you're telling me I'm communicating too much. What the heck am I supposed to do? And see, that's the key. That mindset is you're not winning anything, right? So when you're communicating, it's not about too much or too little, it's about following the guidelines of right person, right time, right place, what's your goal and objective? And so there, again, everything in communication has situational awareness. You can't just follow one set of rules for all people at all times. And that's what makes it difficult. I believe in my heart, over the years in my career, most C-suite people want to do the right thing. And they want to do right by their employees. And by the way, I don't want to forget to say this. I know this is totally digressing for a second, but that Worcester Chamber, Kristen Luna, she is a doll. With huge shout out to the Worcester Chamber. They're phenomenal people, they do a great job serving their members. And it greatly people. When I was thinking about doing right by people, that's why that came up. But so most C-suite people want to do the right thing, they want to do right by their people, but Ted, just there's a lot of people out there don't have the tools, they just don't know the right way, which is not an excuse, right? Because ignorance.
SPEAKER_02Well, wait a minute. Most of your audience on this show is old, like me. And I say that with all due respect. Old is good. And I uh I gotta tell you that when you work with people and you communicate with people in the business place as opposed to out on the street or at home, it's not like going to a 60s rock concert. It's more like a slow dance. And I know this isn't if anymore, you know, but when you work with people, you've got to hold tight and follow the rhythm. If you're going to lead, you don't place your hand in the small of their back and push on them. You gradually, gently move with them. So I'm gonna repeat it. Working with people in the workplace is like a slow dance, not like dancing at a in a Grateful Dead concert. You know, there are rules.
SPEAKER_00Well, what what an amazing metaphor, right? And and so what's interesting about your metaphor is yeah, it's a great metaphor, and I think why why can't companies do that? I I I know why, is because they're going too fast. They don't allow the time to have the slow dance, to see the see the pattern, to see the rhythm, because if you can't slow down enough to have that self-awareness and emotional intelligence to see that, you can't do what Ted's suggesting. And it really is a great metaphor. But you have to slow down and be self-aware. Now, one of the things about, and this is the last point I'm going to make for now about the consequences of oversharing, because I want to get to some solutions before we wrap up, is sometimes you've got some real resentment that can build. We'll call it the uh Darth Vader dark side to transparency. And you know what that involves is information overload. You know, it also involves Yep. It also involves sharing information on individual performance pay levels, and it just creates a lot of second guessing for decisions. That's the problem.
SPEAKER_02Extraneous information.
SPEAKER_00Right. And so these are the factors that cause problems. Now, here's what I want you to think about from a solution, right? So we already talked about right person, right time, right place. We talked about be clear on the outcome you seek. So we're trying to get a match between a nice balance between responsibility and transparency. And what the first thing I want you to think about is something really simple. We have the most complex and diverse workforce probably in the history of the world right now.
SPEAKER_02That's right.
SPEAKER_00So just start with something simple: generational communication. So when you choose your message and the medium for your message, if most millennials, and this is not me making I don't stereotype, I refuse to stereotype because that's where the problem begins with the generations. If you perceive most millennials, you know the way they prefer to communicate is some kind of social media channel, some kind of text function, Slack, which is a really common functionality.
SPEAKER_02Quick and easy.
SPEAKER_00Quick and easy, then are you making sure your messages are going out on all the channels that everyone is comfortable with within the company, or are you sending it out by email and saying, I got it out, it's done, I did my job. And so preferred communication styles, it's no different. And I make this comparison all the time. If Ted is a sales prospect, and I've just done a presentation that Ted enjoys, one of the questions I ask in the presentation is Listen, before I go, what is your preferred communication style? Should I send you this via email? Um, do you want a full proposal? Do you like me to follow up via phone call? What's best for you? Give me frequency, preference, and so on and so forth. Most salespeople know those are important questions to ask. Why wouldn't you ask? Ask your own people that. So from a generational communication, you have to know the mode and means of communication. You have to know boundaries, where to draw the line, right? Performance reviews, salaries, sensitive matters. You cannot even take the chance to gossip to fellow like managing sideways, because if that information gets out, it can be so detrimental to the culture at your company. And here's the last one I want you to think about. This is really interesting. Hiring the right people. Why is how does that have anything to do with transparency? It has to do with a person's core values. Because if you want, if your core values of your culture and the way you're trying to build your team is transparency with intention, with purpose, with boundaries, is the person coming in, not only do they have that as a core value, do they have experience operating and being successful in a culture like that? So it's so interesting when you hire people, there's such a list of you, you know, can they execute the responsibilities, the job description, can they fit into your executive team, all the different things you put as high-level criteria when you hire. But you really want to make sure that whatever your internal and external communication strategies are, that that new hire, whatever level in the organization is, that they seamlessly fit in. So look, if you want more information, I do programs with companies. Like I said, we do internal communication with generational communication, with departments. We do blameless autopsy with accountability. We do lots of programs to help people become more confident and effective communicators. Info at mindsetgo.com if you want to email 978-206-1535 if you want to reach out. I'm Mark Altman. I'm president and founder of the company and would love to work with you. Ted, as usual, you're freaking amazing. You're thank you. Always add so much value to the show, and I appreciate everything you do for the show. That's it for I Communicate. We'll see you next time.
