MindsetGo iCommunicate Podcast
Welcome to the iCommunicate Podcast where we develop the mindset and provide communication strategies to foster confidence, emotional intelligence, as well as organizational, team, or personal growth. Our progress and improvement is not limited to a training session; it embodies a constant cycle of self-reflection and continued learning on individual and communal levels.
MindsetGo iCommunicate Podcast
ICommunicate Radio Show #168: Courageous Conversations
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Welcome to iCommunicate on full service radio, 830 W C R N. To join the conversation, call 508-871-7000. Now, here's your host, Mark Altman.
SPEAKER_01Welcome to iCommunicate. I'm your host, Mark Altman. Happy to be back here with you as always. And boy, I hope everybody's having a great summer. Uh, I I gotta tell you that, you know, for me, one of the most important things in communication is being assertive. And everybody in their heart or in their mind or both, I feel understands the importance of being assertive. But knowing the importance of it and acting on it is totally different. And one of the things we're gonna talk about today are preparing for what we call a courageous conversation, and then we're gonna talk about certain aspects of executing a courageous conversation. And one of the things I work with companies on continuously is performance improvement, behavior change, habit replacement conversations. And one of the pushbacks I get frequently from executives is we have leaders that are avoiding these conversations, we have leaders that are having the conversations and they're ineffective, or we have leaders that feel like they're at wit's end because they've talked to the same person about the same thing on multiple occasions. And regardless of the problem, we're gonna diagnose it. And one of the things, one of the root foundational concepts of a courageous conversation is problem solving. And there is a phrase I heard that really resonated with me that I've been sharing with leaders lately. It's called prescription without diagnosis is malpractice. And as you hear that, think for a second about what that means. In the medical field, you would not prescribe something unless you had a proper diagnosis. But here's the real piece to that expression. How do you get a proper diagnosis? Well, you get it because you're asking a requisite amount of questions and secondary follow-up questions so you can truly understand what the problem is before you diagnose it. And in leadership, what I see quite frequently is that leaders, because of their innate need and want to exercise that problem-solve muscle, that they're problem solving too quickly. And they're often solving the wrong problem. So if you think about this for a moment, if you're going to have a courageous conversation, there's a reason it's called courageous. It requires courage, it requires confidence. Confidence in your ability to shift someone's mindset, disrupt their thought process, influence their thoughts, feelings, and actions differently. So you have to have confidence in yourself that you can do those things. You have to have confidence in yourself that you have a new set of tools and strategies and templates to impact a different result. You have to have confidence in the other person that, and you know what the better word is? You have to have belief in the other person that they would be willing to embrace a different perspective, that they would be open-minded, that they would be able to articulate why they would be motivated to do something differently. You have to have the confidence and belief in the other person that they'll do that. And one of the reasons why it's so hard for people to have courageous conversations, it's not just their conflict avoidant. I mean, certainly that's a key factor. But part of it is you've got hurdles in your mind you've got to get through. You know, this comes back to mindset, right? So people ask me all the time, Mark, why'd you name the company Mindset Go? Well, the reason is, is because I think mindset is the biggest contributor to personal and professional happiness and success. So if you go into a conversation, if you're pondering, forget the courage and confidence you need, forget you may be conflict avoidant. Let's say you have the courage and confidence. You're not conflict avoidant, you're pondering having this conversation. There are so many reasons that you could talk yourself out internally in your own mind of having this conversation. And let me give you a few of them. Reason number one is you're judgmental. You say things like, you know what? They don't care. They're not motivated to do this. They have a track record of poor work ethic, poor commitment, not following through. And so you start doing some confirmation bias in your mind. You start rolling through a series of thoughts that convince you that, no, it's not about me. I have the courage and confidence to do it, but why do it? They're not going to change. Right? So that's one of the reasons. Okay? The second reason is because you feel like you've personally done your job already, and that is twofold. So, on one hand, you feel like you've done your job because you've clearly set expectations. You told people what you want and need, and they've agreed to it. And from your perspective, you're sitting there saying to yourself, I did my part. I told them what I wanted, I told them what I needed, they didn't have questions, they agreed to it, and they're not doing it. So it's their problem. You know, I can't do anything else. I can't hold their hand, I can't make them do something. But if you think about that scenario that I just raised, when you say you've done your job because you've set clear expectations and they've agreed to them, that's part of your job. But perhaps you never understood why the person didn't do what they said they're going to do. And I've said this on the show before, and I'm going to say it again. When people disappoint you or don't meet your expectations, they're not sitting there secretly planning and conniving, how can I frustrate my boss today? How can I disappoint my boss today? They're not saying that. They don't know how to manage themselves. And it could be when it comes to habit and behavior change, there's many, many reasons why people don't follow through on what they say they're going to do. Sometimes it's knowledge, sometimes it's experience, sometimes it's fear, it's confidence, it's resistance to change, it's not having enough support. The list goes on and on. There's lots of barriers why people won't do what they say they're going to do. But the bottom line is, as you, the leader, are sitting there pondering having this conversation, not only may you be judgmental and critical, but you may feel like I've already done what I can do. And the fact is, when you're having a performance improvement or habit change conversation, it's really more about the questions and more about listening to understand than saying what they should do and telling them what they're not doing right. So at the end of the day, where the mindset piece comes in is like I said, first you have to have the confidence and courage to do it. Second, you can't be conflict avoidant. Third, you have to believe that you can have impact and the other people will be open-minded. Those are some pretty big hurdles to overcome. You wonder why people avoiding conversations is an epidemic. It's because there's a lot of hurdles to overcome to get leaders to embrace these kinds of conversations. And, you know, I'm spending more and more time consulting with companies and doing speaking topics on culture. And one of the understated aspects of company culture is leaders that will make hard decisions, hard choices, have hard conversations. Because you're modeling behavior, when you enable people and when you let things go and you ignore or avoid things that need to be addressed, people notice. So for those of you leaders out there who are prideful about the fact that you lead by example, that's wonderful. And as I always say to people when they use that phrase, the flawed part of leading by example is are you aware, self-aware of all the examples you're setting, good and bad? And are you aware of the examples that people are actually noticing, good and bad? It would be crazy thought for a leader, for most leaders, to have a conversation with their team one day and said, Hey, I got a question for you. My leadership style is to lead by example. I'm wondering, what do you notice about my leadership style that resonates with you? And on the flip side, what are some examples you were to notice that if you were to give me constructive feedback to change, you would recommend? I mean, think of how powerful those two questions are. But you'd have to be brave and courageous enough to ask it and want the feedback. So when we come back, we're gonna talk about more about these what's what I call conversation preparation, and then we're gonna talk about what derails conversations and how to address that. For i Communicate, I'm Mark Altman. We'll be back after the break.
SPEAKER_00Once again, here's your host, Mark Altman.
SPEAKER_01Welcome back to iCommunicate. I'm Mark Altman, and uh founder and president of Mindset Go, and uh facilitator, speaker, coach, consultant wearing a lot of hats as we do in small business. And I wanted to talk about a concept um that is very rarely addressed, and it involves listening. Now, when you hear people talk about listening, one of the most important and consistent concepts you'll hear people say is the importance of listening to understand. And again, intellectually and in your heart, you know it's important to listen to understand, but many, many people struggle to execute that concept. And what very rarely people talk about is what gets in the way of listening to understand. Now, the obvious answer a lot of people will come up with is distraction. Okay, which is true. It's a good answer. Okay. And let's let's uh let's address the obvious distractions. Our laptops, our phones, texts, social media, emails. Um what I'm encountering so much these days with with leaders in their respective teams is how many points of communication people have to keep track of over the course of the day and check and monitor, whether it's Slack and Asana and email and LinkedIn and text and uh office and Teams, um, and the list goes, phone voicemails, um, the list goes on and on. And and the more I talk to people, most people I'm finding out have anywhere from six to eight communication mediums that they have to monitor and respond to on a daily basis. That's a lot. Think about that. Like if you have a to-do list, and most people have a to-do list, that to-do list, if you're doing it right, is shifting each day based on how the day evolves and the priorities that you face. So you may start out with a centralized to-do list, but then as you check all those mediums, it could be so disrupt distracting and disruptive to be present, you know, be mindful, sit in meetings and be focused and be engaged and participate and contribute. You know, it could be stressful and overwhelming to manage and respond to all these mediums in a timely manner. So, yes, when it comes to listening, distraction in the amount of communication mediums you manage, for sure. For sure. However, the most powerful distraction to listening and understand is how you are communicated with. Okay. When conversations start, assuming there is a level of trust and respect, and that's a big if, because obviously those are the foundational pieces, but assuming there's a level of trust and respect with the person, when the conversation starts, everybody's in a good place. Hopefully, people are present and mindful of what they want to accomplish in this discussion. Okay? Hopefully you're prepared with very clear outcomes. And when I say clear outcomes, let me add the word realistic and flexible, the words realistic and flexible. Because when you go into a conversation with someone, there should be three things: clear, realistic, and flexible outcomes. Clear meaning, know what you want to accomplish going in. Realistic, what is realistic to expect to accomplish in a conversation? Flexible, be willing to adapt based on where the conversation goes. So let's break that down for a minute, okay? Because this is really important. It's so central to effective communication and influential communication. So when we talk about realistic outcomes, let me give you an example. Look at yourself in the mirror for a minute. Look at certain habits you have, look at some certain behavioral tendencies you have, look at um patterns of thought that you have when you respond and evaluate to different situations in different people. If you have a thought pattern, if you have a behavioral tendency that you've had for a year or multiple years, or your whole life for that matter, and it's posing a problem for you, professionally or personally, think about that. A pattern of behavior or thought that has been going on for a year, multiple years, or your whole life. If you are a leader and you're dealing with a person like that, and I would say that most everybody has those patterns and tendencies in one way or the other, you think going into a conversation, you're gonna be able to have a 30-minute conversation with someone that has a certain thought pattern or behavioral tendency, and at the end of 30 minutes, it's gonna be fixed and solved instantly and consistently, that it will sustain a new habit and behavior going forward. No way. If you tend to be a reactive person, if you're sensitive and someone points that out to you, assuming you are aligned with the feedback, assuming you see it and you're self-aware of it yourself, okay, how long have you been reactive and sensitive? Did it just start today? Of course it didn't. So, what is a realistic outcome for a conversation with someone that has a long-standing pattern of behavior or thought? It's getting them to embrace a different perspective. It's getting them to be self-aware of a potential blind spot. It's getting them to be aligned that there is a problem and that they see it. It's getting them to detach from their closed-minded, rigid stance on the issue. Those are realistic outcomes for conversations when people have bad uh long-standing patterns of habits, behaviors, or thoughts that are toxic or preventing them from being successful or following through on their responsibilities personally and professionally. So that's what I mean when I say realistic outcomes. We are an outcome-driven society. We become very black and white and we need instant gratification. When we're getting outside our comfort zone in trying new strategies, using new tools, following different templates. We often go into those things skeptically. We'll say, yeah, all right, I'll give it a shot. I'll see if it works. But what's your expectation of success? If it doesn't work the first time, are you gonna say, well, see, why do I bother? Because this doesn't work either. Or do you believe in the template? Do you believe it is a successful approach and template of communication? Do you believe that when you communicate with people, the words you use are respectful, kind, and empathetic? Do you believe the tone you take in a conversation is curious and empathetic? Or do you believe you have a tendency to be judgmental or frustrated or skeptical or condescending to use a tone like that? Do you use body language that models an open, honest conversation? And just as importantly, do you actually notice, are you mindful and self-aware of other people's body language, and do you see clarity to what that body language is telling you? Are you doing those things? Because that is part of a success template for an effective conversation. And the last one is listening to understand. And when I started this segment, we were talking about listening. This is what I want you to think about when it comes to listening. I want to know if you know how to listen in the face of adversity, not when everybody's happy and positive and patting everybody on the back and laughing and joking. I want to know how you are when you face adversity. One of the jokes I make about adversity and some of the lessons and growth I've had in my personal life is I'll often joke to people, I'll say I'm divorced twice. And you've all heard of the wedding vows for richer or poorer and sickness and health. The joke is that I was great at the rich and healthy, and I was bad at the sick and the poor. And what I meant was I wasn't a good partner. I didn't do my part. I wasn't an emotionally intelligent communicator. And when adversity hit, I struggled to respond effectively. So I didn't do well in the face of adversity. And that's what I'm talking about with listening. It's what happens when the conversation goes off the rails. You know, how are you at listening then? And when we come back for our next segment, we're going to talk about listening in the face of adversity. What goes wrong and how to overcome it. For Mark Altman, this is I Communicate. We'll be right back.
SPEAKER_00Once again, here's your host, Mark Altman.
SPEAKER_01Okay, welcome back to I Communicate. And as promised, we are talking about listening to understand in the face of adversity. So let me get into this again. Uh let me get into this to start, excuse me. So there are four things in my experience that derail conversations. One is excuses, one is deflections, one is denials and a lack of accountability, and one is defensiveness or criticism. So when you're presenting a problem to someone as a leader, and you're having a conversation, you could present the problem in the most compassionate, kind, respectful way. But part of what you have to realize. Is that when you tell people they're not doing something that they should be doing, there's an instinctive reaction to be defensive or make excuses or feel bad. Because no matter how you convey feedback and criticism, it still makes a lot of people feel less than, even if that's clearly not your attention, and even if you didn't communicate it in a in a bad way. So the reality is what do you need to know when you're giving feedback? A lot of people feel like that the best way to give feedback is just to tell it like it is, be transparent. Hey, I can handle it. You got an issue with me? Just tell me, I want to know. But the problem is when you lead with criticism, it usually creates defensiveness and a bad outcome. One of the real critical aspects of communication is getting alignment in a conversation. And in getting alignment, what we're talking about is making sure there isn't a blind spot. Just because you see something and you know something, and something is painfully obvious to you, and you feel like you have 100% proof, doesn't mean they say it. Doesn't mean they know it and that it's true. If you say to someone, you know, I've observed that in meetings you tend to get defensive with the other peers on your team, they may look at you and go, I don't think so. What makes you say that? I don't feel that way. And so just because you know a problem to be true, and that's your perception versus reality, you need to get alignment because in the beginning of a conversation, if you don't get that alignment, the conversation can go off the rails. Okay, because you think something's obvious and expected and they don't. So here's what happens, okay? Here's an example. You talk to someone about the importance of coming back to work. I mean, we're seeing this everywhere. So many companies are grappling with do we keep everybody remote? Do we have some kind of hybrid arrangement? Where sometimes they come to work, sometimes they don't. A lot of companies are facing with the challenge of, well, some people can come back to work, some people have to come back to work based on their job and responsibility, and some people don't. And that's creating a lot of resentment. We'll get to that in a minute. So there's all these challenges. It's creating all kinds of courageous and difficult conversations, it's creating a new set of expectations, and it's creating a lot of problems. So, an example of a courageous conversation is you sit down with someone and say, Listen, Charlie, the reality is we need you to come back to the office at least three days a week. And again, listen to my premise. We're talking about listening to understand in the face of adversity, which both people should be doing theoretically in a perfect world. So you say to Charlie, look at based on your responsibilities, we need you to come back to work three days a week. Now, Charlie could respond to that a whole set of different ways. But you know what choice Charlie makes? He says, I don't see why Joe and Jeff don't have to come back to work. Christine doesn't have to come back to work. Why do I? So we get a deflection. Okay. Instead of acknowledging your request and talking about your request, we get a deflection. And this is what I meant by listening and to understand in the face of adversity. Now it becomes a complainer. Now the person takes on like a childlike response. You know? And so as a leader, when someone becomes a perceived complainer and deflects, we tend to get judgmental. In our mind, remember, remember earlier in the show I talked about patterns of thought. In our mind, when someone deflects, the tendency is like thinking to yourself, oh, here we go. Here we go. They're just going to give me a hard time. They're going to deflect. Why do I get to do it? Versus when they don't get to do it. So the whole cycle of thought, of judgmental thought, comes into play. And what's key to keep a conversation on track, and why I spoke in our last segment about the importance of having clear, flexible, and realistic outcomes is because you as a leader have two choices in that moment. And this is with personal conversations or professional conversations. I don't care if it's with your kids, your spouse, your peers, your boss, customers, vendors, I don't care who it is, it's the same set of rules. Okay. So if you have an outcome for the conversation, what is your outcome for a conversation with someone that you have to tell they need to come back to work three days a week? You're hoping going into a conversation, you look at it as here's the news, I've got to share it with them, and they're gonna just have to accept it because this is what I need them to do. And you want to know something? They will need to accept it, you're right. And they might not accept it in the first conversation. They may need to vent, they may need to feel heard and understood, they may need to share their why and why they don't think it's a good idea, even if you don't agree with it. So you don't want in a conversation where you're asking someone to shift something they've been doing for the last two years, and now all of a sudden they've got to change their habits and behaviors and routine and process and come back to work three times a week, do you expect them to give you a hug and thank you and say jump for joy? Or do you think they may be defensive, may be frustrated? So instead of taking the bait when they deflect, know that that's a good chance that's gonna happen going into the conversation. So don't act surprised. If someone said to me, if I was the leader and someone said to me, Why do Jeff and Christine get to work remotely versus me, okay, instead of starting to be judgmental in thought, I would be curious. I would be like, Well, let me ask you a question. It's a fair question. I I appreciate you having, I appreciate you being willing to ask a question and what's on your mind. I guess the question I would ask you is, why do you think that is? Because I ask you that because if you look at your job responsibilities as opposed to Jeff and Christine, can you see the importance of some of your job responsibilities needing to be in person as opposed to some of their job responsibilities? So I would pose, I would be curious without judgment, I would pose a question. And then let's let's consider worst-case scenario. Let's say the person isn't going to cooperate at all. And let me let me stress something for a moment. When I say cooperate, this is exactly the whole premise of this show today. When you do things the right way, when you are an emotionally intelligent communicator and you are self-aware of yourself and others, when you manage your emotions to respond and not react, when you use empathy as a tool of influence, when you're mindful of your word choice, tone, body language, and ability to listen, that's being an emotionally intelligent communicator. Okay? And when you're an emotionally intelligent communicator, and as Bill Belichick says, love them or hate them, he says, do your job. So when you do your part right, when you are responsible for what you can personally control in that conversation, then you're not guaranteed they're gonna cooperate, you're not guaranteed they're gonna change their behavior, you're not guaranteed they're gonna all of a sudden embrace new perspectives and open-minded, but you know what? You're setting yourself up and the other person up for the best chance of success. So in that moment when they don't cooperate, okay, and they say, No, I can't see the difference in responsibilities of Jeff and Christine. I feel like I could do my job at home. No problem. They may not cooperate again and again. So you don't get frustrated, you say, Well, let's take a look at some of your individual responsibilities. And then you can list off two or three responsibilities. Here's why, from my perspective, I see it as critical for you to do these things in person. And as the leader, you just share your why. You share the organization why, you share the logic and thought process behind the decision. And this is the last thing I'm gonna say before we go into our next break, and I'm gonna finish this discussion in our final segment today. Listen, part of the problem in a courageous conversation and getting people to shift mindsets and and replace behaviors, is they're not gonna give you the satisfaction. Change is so hard for people. People are so resistant to change. And so if you're resistant to change, it's gonna feel difficult. It's gonna feel like bad news. And so part of it is at the end of the conversation, when people are balking at the expectations, giving difficulty, they're still processing the change. And that's hard for people. So going in, isn't an outcome realistic to understand that maybe they won't be excited or accepting in the first conversation, but they need time to process the change. That's an important awareness for you going into a conversation. So we're gonna continue this exact line of questioning about denials, defenses, and deflections when we come back. So for I Communicate, I'm Mark Altman. We'll be back after the break.
SPEAKER_00Once again, here's your host, Mark Altman.
SPEAKER_01Okay, we're back for our final segment of the show, and I want to pick up right where we left off. We're talking about how to deal with people who don't cooperate in conversations. We're talking about when conversations go off the rails and your ability to respond and not react, your ability to listen to understand in the face of adversity, your ability to be mindful of judgmental thoughts is tested. And this is where you earn your money as a leader. If you're gonna help people change their routine, their habits, their behaviors, their thoughts, that's hard work. But guess what? That's what coaching is. That's why our most popular program we do for companies all over the country is manager as a coach. Because most leaders have never been trained how to coach people. We see so many leaders that are put into leadership roles because they've proven their worth and value to the company in other ways, not leading people. They've just been very important, valuable contributors to the company. So you know what? We want to reward you. We want to put you in a leadership role. Or more importantly, we're gonna put you in a leadership role because we don't have enough people, and we don't have necessarily the right person, but you're closest to it. So you're look you're up. So we see people put into leadership roles all the time that have not had the requisite training and understanding. And we've seen people put in leadership roles frequently who do deserve it. They do, they are great with people. They facilitate a people-oriented and prioritized culture. But you know what? They've never been trained how to give and receive feedback. They've never been trained how to resolve and mediate and prevent conflict. They've never been trained on how to put the aspects of emotional intelligence into action and into practice. And I gotta tell you, I am so sick and tired of hearing people say, Oh, yeah, you know, I know all about emotional intelligence. It's such a buzzword now in human resources and culture. You know what? You may know how to teach people what emotional intelligence is. You may be knowledgeable and know how to explain the concepts, but you know what? Well we take pride in at mindset go. And what separates the men and women from the boys and girls is we teach people how to apply it, how to put the concepts into action in all the different conversations people have to have over the course of the day. So I work with a ton of executives. Most executives have never been trained on emotional intelligence. Most executives don't know how to handle adversity in conversation. Many, many executives that have been so successful and talented in their careers aren't assertive in certain aspects of leadership. Let's not expect people that have a certain title or have been in a position for a certain amount of years, let's not assume and expect that they know how to do something just because they're a CEO, just because they're an HR director, just because they've been a leader for 20 years, or just because they've been in the industry for 20 years. If we start, if we continue to expect and assume things about people based on their title, years of experience, years of leadership, or the industry experience, we're going to have a lot of problems because there's blind spots everywhere. These are really, really hard concepts for human beings that we're talking about today. If all we did at Mindset Go was field calls around how to manage your emotions, how to respond to adversity, how to have courageous conversations, how to deal with conflict. If we didn't teach anything else at Mindset Go, and we just taught that, we'd be booked for a year out. Every single company we deal with has that aspect, that problem in one way or the other, either in a certain team in the company, with certain leaders within the company, with certain individuals in the company, you know, managing our emotions, dealing with adversity, dealing with overwhelm and short labor and the trouble recruiting and retaining people. I mean, people, we're facing adversity every day. What do you think happens in your company when someone quits, especially someone that's well respected and alike? People start to ask questions, people get distracted, people start to second guess. How do you overcome that? How do you talk people off that ledge? How do you deal with that adversity? When people don't see job rec job requisitions being filled because there isn't enough labor and they still have to work so hard and they're getting frustrated that they don't aren't appreciated and they're not valued, and there's such an amount of work put on them, that's a courageous conversation. So so much of what we're talking about in this show, and so much about what we're passionate about doing is forming people who are emotionally intelligent communicators. And I'm talking about when you're managing up, down, and sideways. I'm talking about when you're managing other people in other departments. We're talking about dealing with difficult customers, we're talking about dealing with difficult vendors, we're talking about dealing with difficult spouses, significant others, children. It applies to everything you do. So the moral to this story, and where we started here, is someone deflects. So I told you how to handle that. Let me tell you how you handle excuses. Okay? When someone makes an excuse and say, oh man, I'm sorry I forgot. Oh, I'm sorry, my alarm didn't go off. I'm sorry, I got super busy. That's my favorite and most overused one. You know what my response to that is? You know what? You don't need to make any excuses. I wasn't looking for you to feel bad or guilty or make an excuse. I just wanted to figure out how to solve the problem so it doesn't happen again. And I just wanted to have a conversation about that. So now you set clear expectations that the person started out with an excuse and you said, No, no, no, you don't have to feel bad, you don't have to make excuses. That's not what this is about. That's how to deal with an excuse. When someone says, when someone gets angry and they say something like, you know what? I work really hard here. So this is someone who gets defensive or critical. I work really hard here. I can't believe you're giving me a hard time about this. I do so much. You know what my response to that would be? I would say, assuming you agree and it's authentic, I would say, I agree with you. We're so grateful you're here. You do amazing work for us. So we agree. So we're not having this conversation because of your work ethic or commitment or loyalty, because we're aligned that you're amazing in those areas. We're having the conversation because there's an expectation not being met. And I just want to talk about how we can get that problem solved. The key here is the tone is very calm and mild as we go through this. Okay? So excuses, you respond, you don't react. It's not about excuses, not looking for you to feel bad or guilty. Defensiveness or criticism, if you agree authentically and you're aligned, validate it for them. Say, no, no, we appreciate that. That's great. And I just want to make sure we're aligned on this specific expectation because I do see it as part of your job. It isn't getting done, and I just want to talk about that one aspect. So my intention isn't to criticize you. My intention is not to give you a hard time, my intention is just to problem solve. And last but not least, the big one, and we're going to do an upcoming show on that big word accountability, is denial. And that's often one of the most frustrating things for people in conversation. Because if someone denies, right, you're just so irritated because you know it to be true. How could you not see this? How are you denying this? It can't be. Like you really don't see this? Like, that's what you're thinking. There's those judgmental negative thought patterns. You really don't see this. That's what you're telling me right now. That's what you're thinking. And you know what? Don't get caught up in all that. Okay? When someone denies something I know to be true, I say. Someone says, no, I don't think I do that at all. Okay, I appreciate that's your perspective. So would you mind if I give you a couple of examples that I've observed? Not in a judgmental or condescending tone, in a curious tone. Hey, would it be okay? Can I give you a couple of examples I've observed? And I'm just gonna end the show today by saying this, okay? I can give you, and all the coaches and trainers at Mindset Go can give you the tools, can give you the strategy, can give you the templates to have these conversations. But you want to know something? It all starts with the ability to manage yourself. You may have the knowledge, you may have the understanding, you may listen to the show and go, yeah, yeah, no, that's good. I I knew a lot of these concepts, I remember them. But I don't care if you knew them. Are you acting on them? Are you practicing them? Are you consistently utilizing them? Because let me tell you, when you look at your organization right now and you say to me, I got problems with retention, I got problems with culture, I got problems with employee engagement and satisfaction, I've got problems with client engagement and satisfaction, we've got productivity issues. You know what? It all comes down to this stuff. I'm telling you, it's all relationship-based. This is all about building and strengthening relationships that create the culture, that make people want to stay, that have people spreading the gospel that when you're recruiting people, they're like, this is what you're walking into, an amazing group of people that are mindful, respectful, emotionally intelligent, know how to have open and honest conversations, people feel psychologically safe, all that stuff. That's what it's about. So if you want more information from MindsetGo about our training programs, the coaching work that we do, um I'm a motivational speaker. I travel the country. Please reach out to us at infotmindsetgo.com or call at 978 793 1159.
