118 | Boundaries & Burnout: Thriving, Not Just Surviving in Our Business

As creatives, we know that setting boundaries is important -- but how often are we sticking to them? It's SO crucial to know your boundaries because often times when they start to slip....burnout starts to sink in. In today's episode we're getting REALLY honest and talking about how we can create healthy boundaries for ourselves & also create a business that thrives (and feels GOOD to us!)

Burnout is more common than we think, and recognizing the signs is essential for our well-being. In this episode, I open up about my personal experience with burnout, how it snuck up on me, and how you can see the signs before it goes too far.

As an enneagram 9, I often struggled with people pleasing. Saying yes to too many things, always having a lot on my plate, trying to always strive for more and make others exceptionally happy...if you're anything like me, you know these feelings all too well. But guess what? I've learned more and more over time that setting healthy boundaries are not only good for our mental and emotional health -- but they're actually really crucial in preventing burnout and creating a thriving business. Especially as an entrepreneur! Join me in this heartfelt conversation where we explore the importance of setting and maintaining boundaries in our businesses, and how they can change as we grow and reach new levels of success.

Here's a sneak peek of what we cover today:
1. How the way we approach our business matters (we don't have to build a system that looks like everyone else's -- as a matter of fact, it's better if it doesn't)
2. Understanding that burnout can come from all different types of situations and circumstances (it doesn't have to be a long buildup of events)
3. How experiencing moments of burnout can actually be really helpful for our business (because it challenges us to grow and learn more about how we best work!)

I can't wait for you to dive in and share your takeaways 💛

Other Episodes You'll Enjoy:
Ep. 114: Growing Your Business While Prioritizing You
Ep. 083: Feeling Empowered to Take Time Off In Your Business w/ Amanda Pruden
Ep. 055: When Productivity Leads Straight to Burnout

If you're ready to create more momentum and visibility inside your business (meaning: more inquiries and more booked clients) -- you'll want to join me for my next free workshop.  This workshop will be interactive meaning you get real-time coaching & strategies to grow your business. Head over to heykristamarie.com/workshop to save your seat.

Ways we can work together:

• <<Coaching>> Photographers, are you ready to create a sustainable business strategy?
• <<Brand Photos>> Is it time to elevate your business and get updated , gorgeous brand photos?

I'D LOVE TO CONNECT WITH YOU!

• Say hello on Instagram 👋
• Watch/Listen the podcast episodes on Youtube 📺
• Leave a review on Apple Podcasts 🎙
• Join the email community ✍🏻

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:04

Hey there and welcome to the She Calls Her Shots podcast. Every week, we chat through different business building topics that will help you gain clarity around your goals, find inspiration in your journey and also help you create a life and a business that you love. My name is Krista and I'm a wedding and brand photographer and you're a go-to no fluff business coach. In these episodes, we talk through both the tactical strategies, habits and the mindset work that will help you take those really big leaps, and we always focus on the real talk and the behind the scenes of what it takes to create a sustainable and a thriving business, because, let's be honest, the work isn't always glamorous, but it's always worth it. So, girlfriend, let's make some moves and start calling our own shots. Hello and welcome back to this episode of the She Calls Her Shots podcast. All right, y'all, we're going to get really real today, because we're going to talk about a topic that is so incredibly important and that I really don't feel like is talked about often enough. And it's interesting because whenever I do guest interviews on other people's podcasts, this is something that is asked about a lot for me to talk about, because we just don't hear about it enough. And it's so important for us to recognize that we're not going through and experiencing this on our own And, of course, the thing that I am hinting to is burnout. But we're going to also talk a little bit today about boundaries and how we're implementing our boundaries. If we have boundaries in place, how that is also going to affect when and how we experience burnout. So you all know, i love to say on this podcast right, we are going through this together.

Speaker 1: 1:56

Whenever I first started my podcast, i was so nervous. I was, like you know, thinking I don't want people to think I'm this guru, expert, i know it all, i have everything put together right. As much as I would love to be able to say that to you, that's just not the case, because I'm a human and I'm growing and going through seasons of growth and every level that we reach as an entrepreneur. As an entrepreneur, we're always going to be hitting certain ceilings, right, we always are going to have to be working through and breaking through things. And so in this episode today, right, like we're just going to get really real and really honest about how this is something that I have been experiencing lately, and the reason I know it's not talked about enough is because I was even nervous about talking about this because it's so vulnerable, right, like it's so vulnerable to show up on a podcast and to talk about how you've been experiencing a bit of, like, lack of boundaries and burn out in your business. And if it wasn't such a stigma, if it wasn't, you know, if it was more readily talked about, i don't think that i would feel that way. But again, like, let's get, let's get in the weeds together, let's work through this, let's talk about this because i can promise you, if you're listening in, if you've had your business for more than I don't know a couple months, you know a year, two years, however long, i can almost guarantee you have likely experienced this lack of boundaries and then how it leads to feeling burnout. It's just, it's something that we are all going to experience time and time again. Our business, because Humans and we sometimes say yes to more things than we should. We sometimes work too late, we sometimes cram our schedules, we sometimes Get caught up in this mindset. Where were you know? afraid, like in this lack mindset, were afraid we're not gonna make money or not gonna get clients. So we, we say yes to too many things right, like there's Human and we're going to have these seasons, and the thing i want to talk about first is this idea boundaries and For anyone who is into the any a gram, as an any a gram nine, i'm a peacemaker and i've talked about this before on the podcast and if you're not familiar with the any a gram, i highly recommend googling it, looking into it.

Speaker 1: 4:10

I think it is one of the most useful and most the best personality tool that i found. That most accurately describes My motivations, my needs, kind of how i make decisions. Right really helps me understand just who i am deep down as a person. But I won't get into that. That's for another podcast episode. But as an any a gram nine, it is really hard for me to keep boundaries, to say no, we are people pleasers, that's who we are at our core, and so if you're a fellow any a gram nine, you know exactly what i'm talking about. Right, it's so easy for us To just mold into other people, it's so easy for us to just say yes, it's so easy for us to just change our opinion, to go along with what others are saying or thinking, and So i've kind of always had trouble really putting down boundaries and sticking with it, and That's shown up.

Speaker 1: 5:00

You know, i've had instances in my business throughout the last twelve plus years. Right notice, i need to get better at setting boundaries right and over time, certain things got a little bit easier. The more i practice putting boundaries down, the easier things got. But i'm also noticing that again as you reach new levels in our business, right, we already talked about how we're gonna experience new Challenges, new things we have to overcome, and that's going to mean that there's gonna be new boundaries that we have to put in place, that maybe we haven't practiced as much or we're gonna have to put. You know, maybe we already had certain boundaries, but we really have to double down on making sure that we stay true to those boundaries, because, as we're growing right, we're always in this growth mindset. We always want more clients, we always want, you know, more income, we want more Whatever it is right, like more success, and so, as we are continuing to crave that growth, we have to remember To put our boundaries in place. And so this is something that i've been experiencing lately, because I just noticed that i and not this is the interesting thing Sometimes a lack of boundaries can come from a place of fear right, like i'm worried that i'm not gonna Get more clients, i'm worried that i'm not gonna make enough money.

Speaker 1: 6:12

So i'm gonna say yes, all these things, because i'm in a fearful place, i'm not sure that i will get it otherwise right. But what i actually experienced was the opposite. I wasn't approaching a lack of boundaries from fear. I was approaching a lack of boundaries out of abundance, right, and i talked about this little bit in a couple episodes ago i think but where i had a period of time where i took on like 10 sessions in like Whatever. It was, like eight days or whatever.

Speaker 1: 6:39

I'm blanking on what it was. It was a lot. It was a lot of Branding shoots, it was a lot of planning, it was a lot of prep. Everything was happening at the same time. And it's interesting because i didn't do it out of fear, i didn't plan all these because i was nervous that Something wouldn't come in the future.

Speaker 1: 6:53

I planned all of because I was just so excited, like I just was so excited that things were coming and I wanted to take action and move forward with them. But what I failed to realize was that because I hadn't really set myself up for success. There was a two to three week period where it just felt like a lot and I'm being honest with you, it just it felt like a lot and it was really mentally overwhelming and I felt really stressed. And I think the part that made me frustrated was that I felt stressed. But I felt stressed from what started as an abundant place, right like I made these decisions because I felt so abundant and excited, and the end result was because that I just didn't think about my boundaries and what I would need, i ended up feeling really frustrated and overwhelmed. And so it was just really interesting because this, this particular season of burnout, i feel like really snuck up on me.

Speaker 1: 7:45

I feel like burnout in general sneaks up on us. We don't really know that it's happening until it's here, right, it's those couple extra nights that we're working late, it's those few extra sessions. It's like these little things that start to add up and add up until all of a sudden it just we just feel it right. Oh my gosh, all of a sudden I feel like I'm really burned out. And for me it was interesting because it didn't come from a place of negativity. It didn't come from, like me, coming from a lack headspace. It came from the opposite of that, and so I just want to get really clear on right, like this has been something that I've had to reflect on and figure out. Interesting.

Speaker 1: 8:19

This is a new way that I'm experiencing burnout. This is a new way that I've experienced this lack of boundaries and how I need to be more careful about how I'm setting myself up for success, because not all work right, all happening at the same time, is going to be good or feel really good to me, and so the reason I bring this up specifically is because I want to help you think about you know how do you best work, and I think this is so important because, as a coach, my job is to help my clients really get clear on how they can set themselves up for success, and some clients really thrive when they have really kind of rigid schedules. Right, they have marketing calendars, they have everything planned out, they can batch, plan things ahead of time, like some clients really really thrive with that type of structure. Other clients that I have, and myself included, i've noticed that when I try and create too much structure in my schedule, that's usually what leads me to feeling burnout, because that's just not intuitively the way that I best work and the way that I best create. But this has been really difficult for me because I feel like in the entrepreneurial space what we're taught is like sit down, work hard, focus, discipline, get to work right, like it's this idea that we really just have to grind.

Speaker 1: 9:43

And the interesting thing for me is the times in my business when I have seen the most success is when I am not subscribing to that belief at all. And it's hard because even though it's working in the moment, even though the things that I'm doing are working really well and I'm not subscribing to that grind hustle mindset, i'm actually giving myself a ton of space and self love and time away from my business, like I'm actually implementing things that seem like they would be the opposite of what I'm doing, i would be the opposite of work. And even in those moments when I see it working and I see it benefiting me, i'm still I have that ingrained in my mindset, this belief that work has to feel hard. And that's so mind blowing to me because I I felt like I have done so much work to try to reprogram that belief. But clearly again, as we grow we kind of have to relearn these ideas and these beliefs and we have to really stretch ourselves to figure out how to put these boundaries in place and how to really stick to what works for us.

Speaker 1: 10:48

And so that's one thing that I've really been reflecting on lately is oh, interesting, i actually work much better, i'm more creative, i can create better content, i can serve my clients better, i can just like operate in my business better when I allow myself a little bit more space for intuitive working, right, like I'm not setting the strict schedules, i'm not creating the marketing social media post calendar, like I. Actually that drains me and I feel a lack of creativity when I do that. But it's hard because then I have to flip the switch and trust myself that you know what, if I give myself space, the creativity will come. But that's been a belief that I've really had to start kind of doubling down on, because clearly there's still more work to be done there for me to trust myself and to believe that this is actually the way that I thrive. And so I say that in that I hope that I can encourage you, if you can relate to this.

Speaker 1: 11:47

If you're like Chris, that's me, i feel like I am going against the grain. I feel like I'm not. My work doesn't look the same as everybody else, my schedule doesn't look the same. I don't operate in the same way. If that's you, i want you to know that this is okay And your work schedule, your way, that you get things done and that you operate may not look like someone else's, and sometimes you might feel crazy because you might think like how you know, how is this going to help me thrive when it's so opposite and backwards from what I hear people saying? I want you to get really comfortable, trusting in yourself, because that is what building a sustainable business is all about. It's about trusting ourselves, trusting the things that we need, trusting the ways that we operate, instead of feeling like we have to subscribe to someone else's way of building their business And so all that to say that kind of all this has been going on.

Speaker 1: 13:35

It really snuck up on me All of a sudden. I realized I was like I am feeling. I'm feeling off. That's how I if I could describe it. That's how I felt for a handful of weeks. I felt off. I couldn't put my finger on it, i didn't exactly know what it was And I was like I don't know what's going on, but something is off.

Speaker 1: 13:53

And it wasn't until, actually, when I'm recording this episode this morning, all of a sudden, i just it just clicked. I don't know. I don't remember what I was doing, i think I was journaling and I was just reflecting, and it just clicked. I was like, oh, you know what? I think I'm feeling a little burnout. I think that's what's happening, because I realized I gave myself some space in a few days where I just completely disconnected from my business And I mean like completely disconnected, like slept in, you know, cleaned, play video games, like literally, just like immersed myself in the things that I love to do read my psychological thriller, audiobooks, like all of the things that I wanted to do. And I think that's what made me realize this morning like, oh, you know what that disconnect that I felt like I've been needing. I tend to do that when I'm feeling burnout, and so it kind of just clicked for me. And I and I say this also because I want you to realize that not all burnout comes from like a long overload of work I think sometimes, as photographers, we assume that burnout comes from, you know, seasons in our business where we're just like go, go, go, go, go, month after month, right.

Speaker 1: 15:04

How many times have you heard people talk about in the fall? You know, it's like all of a sudden like, oh, it's the fall, i just need to get through these next six months, right, and we assume that that's how burnout happens is from these big, long overloads of work. But I'm here to to share with you that it doesn't even have to be a long period of time. The burnout really comes from that lack of boundaries and from your mindset, the things that you're telling yourself, how you're treating yourself and how you're making yourself feel. For example, i only had maybe a hectic two to three weeks. It really wasn't that long, but the thing was is that not only did I feel a little chaotic, but I also tried to start implementing those really strict routines, those really strict schedules. All of a sudden, i had this huge marketing plan and daily schedule. I didn't even implement it because once I wrote everything out, i already felt overwhelmed. I didn't even implement one day of it. I don't think I'm here to share that. It doesn't have to come from these big, long seasons. Burnout can happen really quickly. It really just is going to depend on what you've been telling yourself and the boundaries that you've had in place.

Speaker 1: 16:21

I wanted to share this today because I first and foremost the thing with burnout. Again, i want you to know you're not alone. We all go through this and it's also inevitable. If you've experienced it in the past, it doesn't mean you're over it and you're never going to go through it again. I wish that that's how it worked, but that's just unfortunately not how it goes Because, like I said, we're all humans and we're all going to sometimes say yes to too many things or have our mindset be in a little bit more negative place than we want it to be. We're going to just try to implement schedules and routines because we've all of a sudden unconsciously subscribed to this belief that we have to be in hustle mode and work mode. These things happen, these slip-ups happen, really accepting that. You know what. This is normal. I'm going to experience this. There's nothing wrong with me, and it also doesn't mean that the things that I'm doing I'm like done with.

Speaker 1: 17:14

You know, i think sometimes we feel burnout. We think, oh no, like should I not be doing this anymore? Do I not enjoy this anymore? That can be the case sometimes, but really sometimes we just need to give ourselves space to learn how to love the thing that we used to do Right. So for me, what that has looked like lately is you know, i still love as a photographer as a brand photographer specifically I love working with my clients And I was actually reflecting on this the other day.

Speaker 1: 17:47

The thing that lights me up the most in my photography business are shoot days and getting to collaborate with other women, creatives and business owners and getting to plan this incredible, amazing brand session in beautiful locations with all of these fun and just really creative shot lists and session prep Like I love all of that. And the day of the shoot, i am on fire, like I am amped up, i'm so ready to go And that's how I knew this burnout is just from. It's more about me than it is about my clients. It's way more to do with me and my lack of boundaries and my headspace that I found myself in for a couple of weeks, and it has nothing to do with my clients, how much I care about them, how much I love doing photography And so just getting really comfortable knowing that it doesn't have to mean anything about your business, and that's why I felt comfortable talking about this today?

Speaker 1: 18:48

Because, again, we don't talk about burnout a lot And I think, if you're anything like me, if you're an Enneagram 9 or if you're a 2, like we, we are really. We care a lot about what other people think about us, and I know a lot of people care a lot about what people think about them, but who nines and twos like we? we are very susceptible to other people's opinions and beliefs, and so i found that I was afraid to talk about it cuz i, in my head, i thought what if People take this to think that i i no longer love what it is that i do, right? what people think i don't love photography? what if they think i don't love creating content? And that's just not true, because i've done the, i've done the inner work, i've done the reflecting, and i realize This has nothing to do with my ability to create content. It has nothing to do with my clients, how much i love working with them, how grateful i am to get to support such amazing people on a day to day basis, and it has everything to do with the inner work that i need to do in order to set myself up for success. And that's it, and that's the deep growth, that's the inner work that we have to do in order to build a business that's going to thrive.

Speaker 1: 20:02

We cannot have a successful business if we are not growing ourselves and learning more about how we operate as people And really making sure that we are putting ourselves in situations and creating systems that will help us thrive. And that was just a really big aha moment for me and that's why i was like you know what? no, i am gonna talk about this today. I i'm fired up now. I definitely want to talk about this because I want you to know that this, these feelings, this burnout, this lack of boundaries, doesn't mean anything about you or the work that you do, and it has everything to do with your growth as a person and as an entrepreneur, and that's so beautiful. That's so beautiful. I love, as a coach, getting to work with other creative, other women business owners and help them through this kind of growth work Because, truthfully, at the end of the day, marketing strategies are great, email lists are cool, instagram posts are awesome, instagram views are great, but, at the end of the day, you will not have a thriving, successful business if you cannot, as a person, feel that you are constantly growing, learning more about yourself, how you operate, what feels good for you, what you want your life to look like like.

Speaker 1: 21:19

Those are the things that are actually going to be the things that propel you forward, and that's so beautiful, because we then can learn how to take ownership and responsibility, that our life is really up to what we make it like. Our perspective, what we're telling ourselves, how we're showing up every day, the beliefs that we hold Right how important is that? so much more important than your content strategy or your marketing or like. Those things matter, but you matter. Your business would not exist if it weren't for you, and you are doing amazing things and you deserve to feel incredible and amazing and successful and loved and accomplished as a business owner. I want all of that for you, and so so much more. So i hope that that was encouraging.

Speaker 1: 22:10

I just really wanted to come on today and share my heart and truly. I only had a couple bullet points because i knew This is the type of sharing where This is the real right, the real real. This is the raw, this is the things that we're going through, that i don't really need to create an entire Outline, for cuz it's just. This is the business entrepreneurial journey. This is what we go through, and so i'm so grateful that i get to come on here today and to share this with you. I would love to connect with you.

Speaker 1: 22:39

If this resonates with you, if you're raising your hands and you're like christ i needed to hear this today Please connect with me on instagram at a christin marie, send me a message, send me a dm, just say hello. Let me Cheer you on, let me just be here for you, let me support you in this moment and just recognize that the things that you're doing, this work you're doing, is so important and it's going to make such a big difference for you in the long run. So, all that said, i just i hope that this encourages you to think about your boundaries, think about the things you might want to put in place, things that might feel a little off or Yes to too many things, or if you feel like you might need to adjust your work hours, if you feel like you've been trying to subscribe to a certain type of Working. I hope that this episode can encourage you to look into your gut, if you're, if you're the type person who likes to trust their gut. Trust your gut If you intuitively know in your head what it is you want to do and, in your heart, trust that and trust that the things that you need to do will come to you And that everything will keep moving forward if you just follow your heart.

Speaker 1: 23:46

Thank you so much for being here. I just am so grateful for you and i'll talk to you over in the next episode. One last thing before you go i'd absolutely love it if you left a review on apple podcast, or if you've already left a review, i'd love for you to share this episode with your business bestie. I love getting to shout out my listeners on the show and the more listeners that we have, the more that i can help others create a thriving and sustainable business to. Thank you so much again for being a part of this community and i can't wait to hear your takeaways from today's episode.