Marriage Life and More

8 Fruitful Characteristics of a Godly Marriage - 245

• Daniel and Michelle Moore • Episode 245

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What makes a truly Christ-centered marriage different from the world's version of partnership? It's not just about living under the same roof or maintaining surface-level peace—it's about cultivating specific spiritual fruits that transform two people into one flesh with God at the center.

In this episode, we dive deep into eight biblical characteristics that create a flourishing godly marriage. From the foundational quality of 1 Corinthians 13 love that "keeps no record of wrongs," to the often-misunderstood balance of submission and sacrificial love described in Ephesians 5, we explore how these divine principles create relationships that reflect Christ's relationship with the church.

We share candidly about our own marriage journey, including the painful lessons we learned by initially failing to put God first. "Why didn't we put God at the center at the very beginning?" we reflect. "We laugh because it's a no-brainer now, but we were so blind then." This transparency reveals how even difficult seasons can be redeemed when couples surrender to God's design for marriage.

You'll discover practical wisdom about true devotion as your spouse becomes your primary confidant after God, the power of praying for each other throughout your day, and how worshiping together creates a spiritual bond unlike anything else. We challenge common misconceptions, like the idea that living as "one flesh" means losing your individual identity, when it actually means sharing your entire self—heart, mind, and spirit—while maintaining healthy personal growth.

Whether you're struggling with forgiveness, wondering how to better communicate, or simply seeking to strengthen an already solid foundation, these eight fruitful characteristics provide a biblical roadmap for a marriage that not only survives but thrives. Join us as we explore how humility, gentleness, and patience create a "rock-solid" relationship that stands firm against life's challenges.

Take this opportunity to evaluate which fruits might need cultivation in your own marriage. Remember—the most powerful prayer isn't asking God to change your spouse, but asking Him to change you.

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Daniel Moore:

you know, usually when there's not love in that situation it's so noticeable, you know, whenever that happens. But then when somebody does love each other, you can really tell that also, and I think sometimes, though, love can be shown in different ways.

Michelle Moore:

It's not always like dan and I love to hold hands. You know we love to do things like that, but I think some couples it's different for them, like they don't have to have that physical touch.

Daniel Moore:

Right.

Michelle Moore:

You know, but you know that they love each other. You can just see it.

Daniel Moore:

They've got each other's back.

Michelle Moore:

Yeah.

Daniel Moore:

This week on Marriage Life and More, we're going to talk about eight fruitful characteristics of a godly marriage. What do you think those are? Well, we're going to discuss that this week on Marriage Life and More. We'll be back right after this. Welcome to Marriage Life and More. This is a podcast about marriage, Bible and book studies. We interview people sometimes that have inspiring stories. I'm Daniel Moore, your host. I have my wife, Michelle, sitting over here today.

Michelle Moore:

Hey, hey.

Daniel Moore:

She's my beautiful co-host sitting over there. I want to thank you guys for joining us this week. If you're not familiar with our show, check out our website at www. marriagelifeandmore. com. For our platforms, our YouTube and Rumble links. We're also on the Christian podcasting app, edify, and we're on your Alexa and Google smart devices. You can also visit us on social, on Facebook and Instagram, at ctgaponline. If you're a fan of our show, please subscribe. Feel free to leave a comment on our platforms, give us a thumbs up or a five-star review on Apple Podcast, and we'd be grateful to you for doing that.

Daniel Moore:

Well, this week we were going to start a new series, but I'm actually pushing that off one extra week just to make sure that we're completely ready to launch that. Next week, lord willing. We're going to start a series that we've called Marriage Reset and we're going to be talking about how to get back to soulmates when you feel like you've become roommates in your marriage. It's going to be a series that we're going to go through, and I know that a lot of times that happens with marriages and that needs to be fixed. You don't want to be a roommate when you're married. You want to be a soulmate and share everything that God has in store for you within your marriage. So we'll be kicking that off next week. What we're going to do for this week is we're going to talk a little bit about fruits in our marriage.

Daniel Moore:

This week, we're going to talk about eight fruitful characteristics of a godly marriage. Marriage is a precious gift given to us by a gracious God who wants us to experience the profound pleasure of a committed, loving and fruitful marriage relationship. He created marriage as a beautiful picture of how Christ loves his people, the church, a worldly. Purpose of marriage is the act of marrying someone to fulfill ourselves, complete ourselves or make ourselves happy. In fact, that is not the purpose at all. God gave us marriage to encourage love and spur our spouse into the person that God created them to be. If we go into marriage expecting to be entirely fulfilled by another person, you're going to probably be majorly disappointed. This is possibly why the divorce rate is so high today out there in the world. People get married. The person they're committed to isn't what they thought they were. They aren't happy or fulfilled, so they just decide to get up and walk away. This must be devastating to our loving Father, who purposed marriage for so much more.

Daniel Moore:

This week, based on Scripture, we're going to talk about eight fruitful characteristics of a godly marriage. So the first fruit here that we want to talk about is that our marriage should be filled with love. In 1 Corinthians 13, verses 4 through 8, it talks about love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it's not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres. You know it's not easy to exude patience when the person we married is getting under our skin.

Michelle Moore:

That is so true.

Daniel Moore:

Just like it is not easy to be selfless in our choices and not hold grudges. However, when we surrender our own fleshly reactions and trade them for a loving and kind demeanor, the marriage will benefit greatly. Now we can live in a peaceful home, knowing that our wrongs aren't counted, your spouse isn't only out there for their own interest, and you are sharing life with someone that you can trust. What do you think about that?

Michelle Moore:

I love it, I think it's so good. I mean honestly, when it goes back to it does not dishonor. Or like love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonor others. Like love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonor others or is not?

Michelle Moore:

self-seeking is not easily angered and it keeps no record of wrongs. Forgiveness, yeah, there's so much in that. And love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with truth and always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres. That is one of my favorite scriptures. I mean, you think about that?

Daniel Moore:

And you know, I know a lot of times spouses have a tendency to hold a grudge sometimes.

Daniel Moore:

But really, when you think about that, if we truly love our spouse, instead of holding a grudge, when we love someone, love says that you work through that.

Daniel Moore:

It doesn't say that you hold it against them and make them regret the day that they were ever born. That's not how that works. And so if a fruit of our marriage, you know, if it's going to be godly and it's going to be Christ-centered and he's going to be in it first, then we definitely have to have that type of Christly love, that godly love inside of us. And we have to make sure that whenever we approach issues in our life or problems or situations, whatever it may be, we go back to that WWJD what would Jesus do? Right? You know that that kind of comes into play. If we, you know, take care of those situations, you know, out of love, then we're not going to, you know, those arguments aren't going to be as bad. The tempers aren't going to flare like they normally would. I think a lot of the situations that take place in our marriage has a whole different outcome.

Michelle Moore:

You know, if we approach it that way, Well, I'm so glad you don't count my wrongs. Well you better not be.

Daniel Moore:

If both of us did that, we'd be in trouble. We'd have to have quite a few journals laying around.

Michelle Moore:

No, we wouldn't.

Daniel Moore:

No, we do pretty good nowadays, nowadays, yeah, but I do like that. I think my favorite little line up there in that scripture is it keeps no record of wrongs. We talked a little bit last week about forgiveness and how that's an ongoing action, you know. And in the same way, love is an ongoing action. You know. You don't love somebody once and then you're done. That love is actually something that continues, that perseverance as it keeps going, yeah, and to have a surrendered love, you know, for each other means so much, so that's the first fruitful characteristic of a godly marriage.

Daniel Moore:

You're going to notice that you can always tell when a couple loves each other or not. I mean, usually you can tell real quick just by the way they talk to each other or the way that they react towards each other. You know, you can tell sometimes that there's distance. You can tell there's something going on there. There's just some weird thing Just seems like there's some distance between the two. You know, usually when there's not love in that situation it's so noticeable, you know, whenever that happens. But then when somebody does love each other, you can really tell that also.

Michelle Moore:

And I think sometimes, though, love can be shown in different ways. It's not always like Dan and I love to hold hands you know we love to do things like that but I think some couples it's different for them Like they don't have to have that physical touch.

Daniel Moore:

Right.

Michelle Moore:

You know, but you know that they love each other. You can just see it.

Daniel Moore:

They've got each other's back.

Michelle Moore:

Yeah, I love it, yeah, love it.

Daniel Moore:

So the second fruit here that we want to talk about is ultimate devotion. Share with us on that one.

Michelle Moore:

So you've got to be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves, and you can find that in Romans 12, 10. A godly marriage will be two people devoted solely to each other. They will take a commitment seriously and never seek love and attention from anyone other than their spouse. That's good.

Daniel Moore:

Yes, and that devotion is in all aspects of the marriage, and so I know for myself when I look at the relationship that you and I have with each other. For me, you know to be, I want to be completely devoted.

Daniel Moore:

And you know, with Christ, we are to be completely devoted to him with our life and everything that we do. And so, as we talk about being completely devoted, what does that look like? Well, that means that if you're having a bad day, or if I'm having a bad day, if we've got good times, if we've got bad times, regardless of whatever it may be, at the end of the day we still come back to each other and continue to build that bond between each other, to continue to work through those problems, to work through those situations. You know, if there's an let's say, you're having a bad day at work about something, you know, one of the first people you come to usually is me. Let's say, you're having a bad day at work about something, you know, one of the first people you come to usually is me, and I know with myself if I have an issue going on or a problem, or whatever it may be, you're my go to.

Michelle Moore:

Yeah.

Daniel Moore:

Same here that's being devoted to someone, because I trust what you have to say. I trust your input.

Michelle Moore:

I don't trust myself, so I don't know why you trust me.

Daniel Moore:

Well, be thankful that I trust you. At least somebody does. But you know that that speaks volumes when you know you can always tell who somebody loves the most or who they're devoted to by their, their main go to person. You know good. And of course Christ should always be first. We should always go to Christ first with everything, obviously.

Daniel Moore:

But when you're married, the next step down from that would be your spouse, and I know some people argue with me over that. They'll say, oh, there's just something your spouse doesn't need to know. Well, we've talked about that before. I totally disagree with that, because I think that if there's an issue that's causing a problem in your marriage, the only way you're going to fix that issue is if you work out that issue between each other. You know me and John can't figure out minding your problem. You know it's going to have to be me and you communicating and trying to take care of that. Whether if there is a counselor involved, that's a different situation. But my best buddy or whoever it is that I want to go confide in, they're not going to help me fix that problem. They're probably going to stir the pot more often than not, and so that's not a good thing, and so we always have to make sure that you know those, those what we say when we get married. You know, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, all of those, those things that we promise to each other. That speaks devotion. You know that means that I'm, you're my person. You know I go to you for everything and I trust that you are going to be there for me when I do that, and then vice versa. Right, so anything to add to that one at all, to that one at all.

Daniel Moore:

Our third fruitful characteristic of a godly marriage. Let's see if you guys have this one. It's submission and love. The Bible says wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Daniel Moore:

On the flip side of that, husbands, you need to love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up to her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself After all, no one ever hated their own body but they feed and care for their body. Just as Christ does the church, for we are members of his body, does the church, for we are members of his body. For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh. This is a very profound mystery, but I'm talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. And those scriptures are out of Ephesians, chapter 5, verses 22 to 33.

Daniel Moore:

So, when we look at it from the worldly side of things, the worldly culture, the idea of a woman submitting to a man really goes against the current feminist views that are screaming to the women that they are equal to men and should not have to submit to anyone, and we see a lot of that today out there in the world. However, in the upside down kingdom of our King Jesus, god created man and woman to each have a place in the marriage relationship, explaining that when a woman submits to her husband as the head of the home, they are mirroring Christ in the church. This doesn't mean the woman is to tolerate being pushed around, controlled or abused, but God wants a woman to respect her husband and he commands the husband to love his wife. There is a vicious cycle that can take place when respect and love are abused. If a woman feels unloved, she may start to disrespect her husband, and when a man begins to feel disrespected, he may in turn withhold love from his wife. God created this aspect of, so I think this one is probably one that you know a lot of couples do have problems with, you know, being submissive and all that kind of thing.

Daniel Moore:

But I think a lot of the times when I actually hear people talk negative about this scripture, I think it's because they're taking the scripture out of context, because a lot of guys and we talked about this before in some of our other episodes that we've had but some guys like to throw that little scripture around to try to control their wife. You know, if something happens and they don't like it and the wife may argue or pop back or whatever, whether, if they're joking or not, they may throw that scripture. Well, the Bible says you're to submit to me and do what I say because I'm the head of this household. You know, I think some guys do use that to their advantage and that's not the way that's supposed to be and that's not the way that's supposed to be.

Daniel Moore:

It's kind of a, it's an underlying understanding that you know for you and I, you know that I'm the head of the home and you submit to that leadership. You know, with me being under Christ, as long as I am Christ driven and I keep my priorities like they're supposed to be and keep God in the center, you feel comfortable with being in submission to me. But you also know that if I ever have a question about something or we have a big decision to make or there's a big life change that's going to happen, who's the first person I'm going to come to to discuss that with and get their opinion? It's going to be you, because we're equals. Yeah, that submission thing does not mean that you're not equal to me and that you don't have a voice.

Michelle Moore:

Right.

Daniel Moore:

And you know, for all the women out there, there's a lot of women that don't have voices in their marriage and we talked about that, I think a couple of episodes ago.

Michelle Moore:

Yeah, we sure did.

Daniel Moore:

Because you kind of came through a situation like that and you kind of explained how, when that happens, it can really damage a woman emotionally and even physically, because sometimes that treatment will cause a woman to not take care of herself. Physically Even they'll quit eating because maybe they think they're too fat, or they start trying to do all these things, thinking that well, if I do this, this will please him. You know, and before you know it, you're being damaged emotionally, spiritually and physically. You have damage coming in from all sides. That's right, and so that's why I love this scripture and it's such a huge scripture I think that's brought up many times within marriage discussions because this lays it out in black and white what the purpose is of the leadership roles in the home, how that all operates and how it's all cohesive and works together and if it's done correctly, you're going to have a great marriage.

Daniel Moore:

Yeah, you know they're not going to have any issue with that, and so I know with me if I ask you to do something or whatever. You don't ever argue with me over any of that. You just trust me and you know you do it. And then, vice versa, you know if you need help with something, or you ask me to do something. I respect you, yeah, and so I do that. And we do that because we love each other.

Michelle Moore:

Right.

Daniel Moore:

So that submission and that love does go together If you truly love someone, like we talked about in number one, filled with love, and then we have that ultimate devotion and number two. Well then, that brings us around to we're willing to be submissive to each other as spouses. So what's number four?

Michelle Moore:

A prayer filled friendship. Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. If either of one of them falls, one can help the other up, but pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken, and you can find that in Ecclesiastics 4, 9 through 12. Praying together as husband and wife is one of the most powerful things a couple can do. This act brings them closer together, aligns them both with God's plan for their lives and grows their personal relationship with their father. I like that.

Daniel Moore:

Yeah, this is a good one, and I don't want people to think that because you and I don't necessarily get together all the time and pray together, just quote, unquote together in the same spot.

Daniel Moore:

But I know throughout the day you're praying and you know throughout the day that I'm praying and we do have our prayers together, yes, and we definitely do that.

Daniel Moore:

But I think whenever we see you know something put out there like this, that you pray together and you have a prayer-filled relationship, if you've got the time and it's something that you really, you know, feel like it is best in your marriage and you want to make sure that you have that time set aside every day, whether if it's morning, noon, night, whenever it may be that the two of you go in a room and you pray together in the same room, or whatever, then you need to do it because obviously God's laid that on your heart and he's going to bless you for that.

Daniel Moore:

But, in essence, what this is saying, with a prayer filled friendship, is the fact that, regardless of what may happen throughout any of my day, I know that you're praying over me, yeah, and I think you know vice versa. You know that I'm always, you know, saying prayers over you and making you know. I always ask God I plead the blood over you and your job. Plead the blood over you and your job, you know. I ask him to be with you, to give you know. One of the prayers that I like to say whenever I pray is to give us wisdom.

Michelle Moore:

Right.

Daniel Moore:

As we go throughout this day, and that includes you, and so the whole point of this here is really is we just need to pray?

Michelle Moore:

Absolutely.

Daniel Moore:

And make sure that we do do that, because what's happened in the past when we didn't pray?

Michelle Moore:

Well, my first several years of our marriage.

Daniel Moore:

Didn't work out, did it?

Michelle Moore:

No, and I shouldn't laugh about it, but it's like. You know, why didn't we put God at the center at the very beginning? Now that we've been through everything, and then you know all the studying and everything, it's just like I think we laugh because it's a no brainer yeah. We were so stupid, you know, for us being married before and then going into our second marriage thinking that you know this is going to be all great because we were best friends and everything.

Michelle Moore:

I mean little. Did we know what was ahead of us? Did we?

Daniel Moore:

No, it was a long road, that's for sure. No, it was a long road, that's for sure. But we both know at this point that if we would have been praying from the very beginning, that our outcome probably would have been much, much better in those first few years.

Michelle Moore:

And even though he chose the restoration process for us, I look at where we're at today and I think of everything we've walked through, and every time we chose to do something that we shouldn't have, he's been with us.

Daniel Moore:

Yeah.

Michelle Moore:

And he took all of our bad decisions. And let me see, there was a lot of those bad selfish decisions.

Daniel Moore:

Yeah.

Daniel Moore:

And used it for his glory because of where this podcast is and where we are at today and everything that we get to do for marriages. Yeah, and I know this is a strong statement and I've heard this said before and I never understood it, but I do understand it now. I didn't like any of the thing that we went through in the past when all that bad stuff was happening in our marriage, but for where God has us at this point and what he's doing with it, I have to say that I would almost do it all over again, just because of what we've learned and how we've grown and how we can now pour into we. We have communication with so many couples that are fighting those same exact battles that we fought. They may not have, they may not be in as bad of a situation yet as where we ended up at, but that's our goal now is to keep them from doing that, you know, because we know where that goes.

Michelle Moore:

It's our prayer, it's our heart. We know where that heads to.

Daniel Moore:

And so this is one of those things where God just takes something bad and just turns it into good and allows us the opportunity to build a minister.

Michelle Moore:

We just had to be the vulnerable and open up and talk about it. I mean that, and it took a process, for I know, for me to be able to talk about what I did you know, definitely so.

Daniel Moore:

The next one here is living as one flesh. A lot of couples have a problem doing this one too. The Lord God said it is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. Now the Lord God said stock the birds in the sky, all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep and while he was sleeping he took one of the man's ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man and said this is now bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man. That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. That's Genesis 2, 18-24.

Daniel Moore:

Well, being married is a peridot, as it is two people coming together as one. Still two separate hearts, souls and minds. However, under the commitment of a godly marriage, they are viewed as one. Having this view of your marriage gives it more depth and more purpose when you make decisions based on God's direction and the betterment of the marriage relationship. As a soul entity, you begin aligning with God's purpose for your life and your marriage With this one here. I know that a lot of times in the marriage we always say that the two people, they just become one and I think that when that's said a lot of times it's kind of just mentally forgotten that there's still two separate people in that relationship, and so I don't know.

Daniel Moore:

I think, from the experience of seeing what I've seen some people walk through, it's almost like they get married and one spouse just pours themselves into the other spouse constantly and they never really do anything to build their own selves up or for their own selves to grow or whatever that may be. And we have to remember that for us to be healthy in our marriage and to remain healthy in our marriage, you have to do what you have to do to keep yourself in line, keep yourself healthy. Before God and before our marriage I have to do the same thing. And when it comes to be said that you know in a marriage that everything's about you or everything's about me, that's really not true. Everything's about us. Right, that me, that's really not true. Everything's about us.

Daniel Moore:

Right right, that's the way that that should be. But then, on the flip side of this, this doesn't mean that you live with your spouse Monday through Friday and then on the weekend you go hang with your buddies, play and pull and whatever Saturday and Sunday, and you actually live two separate lives. That's not how that works. Whenever God put us together to be one flesh, when that scripture states that that we're living as one flesh, what that means is that we've come together, we share our hearts, we share our minds, we share our soul and our spirits with each other, and I think that that's proven over time and the fact that there's a lot of things that you do. Now that you say that a lot of times, I know what you're thinking. I know what you're going to say.

Daniel Moore:

It's actually kind of weird, it's very weird, and it goes the other way as well. You know, there's times that I'm thinking something, or you know, it's even the smallest things, like we'll be driving down the road, and this has happened, you know, a couple of times here recently. It's like I would be thinking well, I'd be cool to kind of go over and look at this, you know, or have been there in a while, yeah, or take this road, and it's like you know we're needing to get home, so it'll say nothing.

Daniel Moore:

Next thing, I know you're turning down the road, you know it's like, it's like you just read my mind, but that's. That kind of stuff starts happening the longer that you're together and the longer that you're married. And I think that's what that's where that becoming one flesh kind of comes to fruition at that point, because even though we live separate lives, different bodies, we're two separate people. When we become married, that whole aspect of our marriage at that point does become one, because we both have that same goal for our future. Yeah, and so anything to add to that one?

Michelle Moore:

No, okay, you did a great job on that.

Daniel Moore:

What's the next one there?

Michelle Moore:

Deep Commitment, place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm, for love is as strong as death. It's jealousy, unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love, rivers cannot sweep it away. If one were to give all the wealth of one's house for love, it would be utterly scorned. And that's found in Song of Songs 8, 6 through 7.

Michelle Moore:

This may go without saying, but steadfast commitment is essential to flourish in your marriage. This means steering clear of temptations to be unfaithful, be it pursuing an unhealthy friendship with someone of the opposite sex, having a physical connection with someone else or confiding in another person, deep and personal things that only should be shared with your spouse. When the marriage relationship strives to live in a way that is pleasing to the Lord, putting your spouse before yourselves and purposing your marriage to further the kingdom of God, there will be no desire to pursue attention, gratification or pleasure from anyone else other than your spouse. Guard your marriage against temptation by praying together, coming together as one, and we kind of talked about that in our last episode. Yep, we did.

Daniel Moore:

You like for me to be committed to you.

Michelle Moore:

Absolutely.

Daniel Moore:

And I like for you to be committed to me. If you weren't, I'd punch you. Yeah, and I know that, so I value my eyeballs and my nose. I would not punch him.

Michelle Moore:

I, you know that's my favorite sentence.

Daniel Moore:

That's a bad thing about having insurance where you work, you know, because if she punches me, knocks me out, I can go to the hospital and they'll pay for it.

Michelle Moore:

Just kidding.

Daniel Moore:

But no, there's a lot to that commitment.

Michelle Moore:

It is.

Daniel Moore:

Because I don't have to worry about all of a sudden hearing a rumor that you're running around with somebody, or you know that you tell me one thing but then you lied about it and you go do something else behind my back and the same with me. You don't have to worry about that with me either, and that's honestly one of the huge steps in making your love relationship work. In a marriage is making sure that you are committed to each other.

Michelle Moore:

Absolutely Yep.

Daniel Moore:

And you can trust each other. Trust and commitment, those two go majorly hand in hand. So the seventh fruit here that you're going to find in a Christian marriage is that they will worship and they will serve God together. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns and songs, from the spirit singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God, the Father, through him. That's Colossians 3, verse 16 and 17. So the truth of this whole point is that a couple that is plugged into a local church serving together shines bright for Jesus.

Daniel Moore:

Worshiping God together, either at church or in your alone time together, is beneficial for the health of your marriage. Giving of yourself, your time and your resources provide the marriage with a solid foundation of selfless living that will only serve to exude the love of Christ to others. So how do you feel in your life, how do you feel that it impacts you that I actually do serve with you at church? In some areas I sit by you in church through service and worship next to you. You know, I honor God in everything that I do, whether if it's there or here at home. How does that make you feel as my spouse?

Michelle Moore:

I absolutely love it.

Michelle Moore:

I mean to have you next to me serving or sitting in the service, worshiping.

Michelle Moore:

It means a lot to me that you chose to sit next to me and I know a lot of times in the past you know you were on the drums in praise and worship. So I was by myself and we did a life group, or well, we taught a life group at a church together with another couple, but there weren't very many things that we got to do together. So you know, the church that we go to now or that we attend, we do a lot together. I mean, you still do your separate thing, I still do mine, but at the same time we chose to sit together. We chose to sit together, we chose to serve together. But it's just different when you have your spouse next to you and I know it's probably not necessarily your thing in one of the areas that we do, but you do it because of me. Vice versa, if you wanted me to go serve on something, I don't know if I could do security, but you know, on something, I don't know if I could do security.

Michelle Moore:

But you know, but it means a lot to me and guys to sit next to your spouse in church to hear them worship the Lord I mean, some guys probably don't sing but my husband does sing and you know to raise his hands and to show the surrender and to show you know, god, you're so worth. It means so much to me to sit next to that and when he starts praying I just like I don't even know the words to describe it, to be quite honest. I just I mean I'm in love with the man next to me and for him to just pour his heart out to the Lord I know that God is so important to him and he chooses to please God and to try to obey what he has for us it just it melts my heart. I just absolutely love it.

Daniel Moore:

Well, I wanted to ask you that question because for 12 years I was on the praise team and so I never really got to sit next to you until the preaching started. And sometimes that didn't happen, because if we ended up not having preaching in that service and we had just praise and worship, I'd be on stage the whole time. And this was every church service for 12 years that we were there. And then I, like you said, the only place that we really served together was just Wednesday night, life group. That's the only thing really that we did together, and I know for the longest time. Uh, you respected my serving. You know that was my ministry and you knew that, uh, god had me on that drum set for those 12 years, and so you never really complained about it. But I knew that there was a longing inside of you. There was lots of times that you would voice that how you wished I was able to sit with you.

Michelle Moore:

I felt like so many times that, you know, and I finally got to in my head that hey, he's doing what God has called him to do. But I was like you're missing out so much, you know, but not really because he was doing where he was supposed to be, and he got fulfilled because of that God's ministry for him.

Daniel Moore:

When we do what God's called us to do, then you will be fulfilled in life.

Michelle Moore:

And so it took me a little bit to get used to that, but I will tell you, when we were attending this new church, I was like he would be right next to me and it took me a while to get used to it and I'm like yeah, she almost told me to get back on the drum set. I was like I'm not used to this.

Daniel Moore:

She's like this is just weird, you need to go play drums.

Michelle Moore:

It took me a while, but now I'm like I absolutely love it. I mean, I don't know if other marriage couples feel that way about their spouse seeing them humble themselves before the Lord, but it's such a love that I have for him that it's just like, hey, my husband is serving the Lord and I know that he's going before him and, whatever it may be, he has our marriage at the best interest of what God has before us.

Daniel Moore:

Yeah, be in church, that's so important Be in church, be in the Word, have your relationship with God at home, wherever you're at.

Michelle Moore:

Make sure you do it together, and he secretly loves how we serve now.

Daniel Moore:

Yeah.

Michelle Moore:

He talks to people more than I do. Yeah.

Daniel Moore:

I don't know how that happens, that's for sure. Go ahead and share the final fruit here.

Michelle Moore:

This is number eight, and this is humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another. If any of you have a grievance against someone, forgive, as the Lord forgave you, and all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace, and be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns and songs of the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God, the Father, through him, and that's found in Ephesians 4, 2 and 3.

Michelle Moore:

Forgiving your spouse for hurtful words or actions can be difficult. You may be justified in your anger and want to hang on to the resentment to teach them a lesson. This can be detrimental. When we choose to forgive quickly, humble ourselves to apologize, speak gentle words and exude patience in tribulation. This will only strengthen your marriage. Living this way makes your marriage rock solid. It leaves no room for bitter grudges and meaningless bickering. Use your energy together to show love, gratitude and forgiveness. I mean, that's just point blank. There's just not, and I like that.

Daniel Moore:

The fruits of the Spirit are so important.

Daniel Moore:

So, important when it comes to not only our relationships in everyday life with other people, but, for sure, in the relationship with our spouse, and I'm so thankful that God has brought us to the point now that we can be humble with each other.

Daniel Moore:

I can be gentle with you, you can be gentle with me. We can both have patience for each other. There's times that it does. We do have times when our patience has worked a little over time probably, but in the end we both love each other and everything comes out the way that it should, and I think that you know some of the things here that you mentioned is probably the key to this whole thing is you have to be reactive quickly to whatever may come your way. Don't wait, don't sleep on it, don't give it, you know, a week or a month or six months to fester. What this basically is saying here in Ephesians is forgive, you know quickly, humble yourselves and be willing to apologize, speak gentle words and exude patience and tribulation. When you do that, then you're going to see a huge strengthening in your marriage that you never even thought was possible.

Michelle Moore:

Right.

Daniel Moore:

And so it's just so important to make sure that we stay on top of that. You know, God forgives us in an instant if we just ask him.

Michelle Moore:

Right.

Daniel Moore:

You know, if we truly are resentful in our nature and we ask God. You know I did this wrong and I'm truly sorry for this. Would you please forgive me for that. It's an instantaneous forgiveness from him, and that's the way that we should be with each other as spouses. Is there anything you want to add to any of this?

Michelle Moore:

So good, so good.

Daniel Moore:

Well, I just thought I'd have a kind of a little fun filler here for this week, as we talked here about eight fruitful characteristics of a godly marriage. So you have marriages around you and you're around them a lot and you see some of these attributes in their marriages and see how they handle things, well, you're going to know that God's probably in there doing a work on them and that they have a good relationship between each other because God's in the center of that relationship. So that's going to do it for this week's episode. Then, as we leave, just don't forget that marriage is hard work, that we don't have to go it alone.

Daniel Moore:

Marriage is a gift from the Lord, no matter how challenging it becomes. We have the power in Jesus to overcome anything. When we strive to live in a godly and fruitful marriage, we may be faced with new challenges as we change ourselves, our reactions and our words, but God can work through all of that. So this week let's commit to asking the Lord to show us where we need to change things. Do that for yourselves. Where we need to change things, do that for yourselves. Where we need to change things about ourselves to make our marriage better, not asking the Lord to change your spouse, but asking God to change you that's what's important in this whole relationship of being married is we have to take care of ourselves first and make sure that we're where we need to be. We take responsibility for the things that we need to apologize for, the ones that need to give forgiveness, for the ones that need to. That's what God's most.

Daniel Moore:

You know, he's most worried about that part about us. That's where he's working on us the most is to make sure that we change, if we change and everything changes, and so hopefully you guys got something from that. Well, we're going to call it a wrap for this week and we hope that your marriage is stronger and your walk with God is closer after this episode. This is an extension of the Connecting the Gap Ministries and we pray that you have a blessed week.

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Daniel and Michelle Moore

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