Christ in the Center (Marriage as a Mission) Pt 1 - 323

Some marriages don’t fall apart loudly. They fade quietly, powered by routine, fueled by expectations, and held together by whatever feelings are left that week. This week, we sit down to talk about what actually stabilizes a relationship when real life hits: putting God at the center, not as a Sunday add-on, but as the foundation of a Christ-centered marriage.

We walk through the simple but challenging shift from “make me happy” to “let’s honor God together.” That change relieves the pressure we put on each other to be the source of joy, peace, and worth. From there, we get practical about spiritual disciplines that strengthen Christian marriage over time: praying together to realign our hearts, staying rooted in the Bible when emotions swing, expectations go unspoken, and practicing worship as a daily lifestyle that changes the atmosphere in a home.

We also name the spiritual battle many couples miss. When we forget that, we start treating our spouse like the enemy and every disagreement like a war to win. Worship resets that perspective, invites the Holy Spirit into the moment, and reminds us that victory is in Christ, not in pride. If you want biblical marriage guidance that is honest about conflict and hopeful about growth, this conversation gives you a clear path forward. Subscribe, share this with a couple who needs it, and leave a review so more marriages can find it.

Want to purchase the book and study guide for this series? Check the link here:

Currently available on Amazon at the links below:
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6-Session Study Guide: http://bit.ly/4nac67e (Amazon Exclusive)

You can also get this anywhere you get your books online and at www.marriagelifeandmore.com.

Transcript

Marriage Needs A Deeper Anchor

Daniel Moore 0:07

Let's be honest, marriage can look really good on the outside while quietly struggling on the inside. You got the smiles, the routines, maybe even the shared Netflix account. But behind the scenes, it can sometimes feel like you're two people trying to win a three-legged race without ever agreeing on the rhythm. One of you sprinting, the others cautiously walking, and somehow you both end up fresh and maybe a little bruised. That's exactly why this conversation matters. Because marriage was never meant to run on feelings, convenience, or we'll figure it out as we go. It was designed to be anchored in something deeper, something stronger than emotions that shift with the day. In this week's episode, we're talking about what it really means to put God at the center of your marriage, not as a Sunday add-on, but as the foundation on which everything else stands. Because trying to build a strong marriage without Him is a lot like trying to assemble furniture without the instructions. You might get something that stands, but there's a high chance you've got extra screws, missing pieces, and a growing sense that something's just off. Well, when you begin to pursue God together through prayer, the word and worship, everything realigns. You stop asking, how can you make me happy? and start asking, how can we honor God together? And that shift, it changes everything. Welcome to Marriage Life and More. This is a podcast about marriage, Bible, and book studies. We interview people that have inspiring stories. I'm Daniel Moore, your host. Thank you guys for joining us this week. Over next to me is my beautiful co-host, my wife Michelle.

Michelle Moore 1:39

Hey, hey.

Daniel Moore 1:40

If you guys week not familiar with our show, check out our website at marriagelifeandmore.com. Our platforms are there, YouTube and Rumble Links, and we're also on the Christian podcasting app Edifi. We're also on your Alexa and Google Smart Devices. You can also visit us on social on Facebook, Instagram, and X at CTGap Online. If you're a fan of our show, please subscribe and feel free to leave a comment on our platforms, give us a thumbs up or five-star review on Apple Podcasts, and we'd be thankful to you for doing that. Well, this weekend is the weekend that I'm going to be at the bookstore in Webb City, Missouri for a book signing. So if you guys have the opportunity to come and uh visit and check that out, I'd appreciate that. That's going to be at the Somewhere in Time Bookstore in Webb City, Missouri. And it's Saturday, May the 9th from 1 to 3 p.m. And so even if you don't want to buy a book or if you already bought one, if you just want to come in and stop and say hi and uh help keep me from being bored.

Michelle Moore 2:37

Or if you want him to sign your book that you've already purchased.

Book Signing And Ministry Updates

Daniel Moore 2:40

Yeah, you could do that if you if you've bought the book already or one of the the books that we've got out. We've got a few out now. And yes, I'll definitely do that. So and regardless of whatever it is, I'd just love to see you guys and be able to talk to you if you listen to the podcast and uh look forward to seeing whoever's able to show up there. That's at the Somewhere in Time Bookstore in Webb City, Missouri this Saturday from 1 to 3 p.m. Well, as we get started this week, we're starting off a brand new episode. And last week we finished up our episode on uh being kingdom-minded in our marriages. And we know that to be kingdom-minded, that requires some work on our part and keeping Christ somewhere in our marriage if we're going to do that.

Michelle Moore 3:25

Right.

Daniel Moore 3:26

And typically that means he's got to be right in the middle of it, right in the middle of our mess that we have going on sometimes. God may not want to be in the middle of that mess we have, but um, he's definitely needed there for sure. And so this week we're gonna start off uh this is episode four as we continue the study on marriage as a mission, which is the first book that I put out. And this week we're gonna start off a two-part episode on God and the center.

Michelle Moore 4:07

It's easy to believe that love, and by extension, marriage is filled by romantic moments, emotional highs, and the perfect Spotify playlist. And sure, those things have their place. Playlists definitely do matter, but they won't keep a marriage steady when real life shows up with the in-laws, overflowing laundry baskets, financial stress, and those late-night debates about the thermostat that somehow feel way too serious. That's where the idea of putting God at the center comes in. Because if you're going to build something as meaningful and complex as marriage, it makes sense to stay connected to the one who designed it in the first place. At the core of this episode is a simple but powerful truth. Marriage was never meant to be just a two-person arrangement, but a three-part relationship, husband, wife, and God. Think of it like a triangle. Not the kind that brings back painful geometry memories, but one where the closer each person moves toward God, the closer they naturally move toward each other. When your focus shifts from how can they make me happy to how we can pursue God together, everything starts to realign. Purpose begins to lead and clarity follows. Let's be real. Trying to do marriage on your own strength is like attempting to grill a complicated meal with no recipe, guessing at cook times, and realizing halfway through that something's definitely burning. And just so you know, I've tried that before. And it did not end well.

Daniel Moore 5:56

The burning and all. Yes. Black ceiling.

Michelle Moore 5:59

Yes. That's a true story. You might still end up with something edible without frustration, confusion, and a few avoidable mistakes. Centering your marriage on God doesn't mean problems disappear, but it completely changes how you walk through them with grace instead of resentment, with prayer instead of panning, and humility instead of pride. So as we step into this week's episode, don't treat it like a spiritual side note. This is a foundation everything else is built on. The love, the laughter, the hard conversations, and yes, even the laundry piles all rest on what you center your marriage around. When God isn't just an occasional mention, but the steady presence at the core, you don't just endure difficult seasons, you refine them.

Daniel Moore 6:56

As we just going through that there, something that I wanted to point out, we've talked about this before, but um, you know, a lot of times when couples get married, they start dating, uh, we do focus a lot, I think, on happiness because we find our significant other, we find that person that we think is who God has for us, and and you know, the the good times start rolling and we start having fun and doing fun things together. And of course, in order for us to pursue that person and to eventually want to marry them, there does have to be a significant instance there of some happiness with them, you know, some attraction um to make that work. But we have to be careful because sometimes marriages hinge on that. They totally focus on the happiness and they throw everything to do with that into their spouse, and then they find out after time slips by that you know stuff starts happening that's not so much fun anymore, and you have conflicts and different kinds of things that come up. And then it's like if you don't have God there, it's like where do you turn? You know, you you start feeling like you're on this island all by yourself, fighting your own battle, and you're fighting against your spouse. They want the opposite of what you do, you know, you start relying on friends, family, whoever it may be, talking, you know, and then you start this big bee beehive, big bird nest thing going on and have issues. And, you know, I think it's always good to remind ourselves that as much as we love our spouses, you know, as much as I love you and as much as you love me, neither one of us are here to manufacture each other's happiness. That's just not the way that that works. Now, when we look at it the other way with the other question, how can we pursue God together? God is the source of our happiness. And so if both of us pursue Him like we're supposed to, then what does that create between me and you? That creates happiness because we have that uh the joy of the Lord you know flowing out of us, and we have that capability of putting God first in everything, and then this wraps back into what we was talking about the last couple of weeks about being kingdom-minded. Because then as we do things together and we accomplish things together, especially if they're for the kingdom and for Christ, we get so much more fulfillment out of that than if we're just trying to push our own agenda and trying to do our own thing. And so, you know, I think this is a really good way to start off this episode, you know, this week, because in order for us to be Christ-centered in our marriage, we have to give him everything. Right. We can't just give him bits and pieces and expect him to take what little bit we want to give him and make something out of that while we keep the rest because we're gonna destroy the rest. I mean, we we're just human beings, you know. It's like we have those moments in life that we make bad choices and bad mistakes. And it's better if we let God have all of that. And that way he can create something beautiful between the two of us and give us a reason to be married, not just for within our own selves. We do have the reasons personally that we are married, but it goes way beyond that.

Michelle Moore 10:09

I think, you know, sometimes I think it's hard for me to be able to just be vulnerable, yeah, you know, and give him everything that I'm supposed to lay down at his feet.

Daniel Moore 10:21

Right.

Michelle Moore 10:22

Especially in our marriage, when we're facing certain situations and stuff like that, I can catch myself thinking about it or picking it back up and being like, I think this is the way it should be. And so when you say you have to give it all, you are correct. I mean, you can't fight your own fight.

Daniel Moore 10:39

Yeah.

Michelle Moore 10:39

God has to be the one to go before you. And he also knows your heart. He knows those hidden agendas. He sees those things that you don't really realize, even though sometimes you you do realize, but you don't want to acknowledge it. He brings this to the forefront when he's in charge.

Daniel Moore 10:56

Right. And we can take this a step further to the point where Christ-entered marriage doesn't just happen. We have to build it. That's so good. You know, you you can't just uh water it a little bit, you know, the one of those chia pets that used to be popular. Oh my gosh. You put a little water on it and they probably still have them. How is that? Yeah. This isn't a ch this isn't a chia pet. You know, this is something we have to work on, and we've talked about that before too, how marriages work. A lot of people get married and they're like, this is exhausting. I didn't think I was gonna have to be involved in all this stuff, and you know, doing this and doing that, and you know, putting out this fire and putting out that fire.

Michelle Moore 11:37

It's like yeah, but your analogy is good because you do have to water it and it does have to grow and it doesn't come instantly.

Daniel Moore 11:45

It doesn't. It's good. Yeah, it's not something you stumble into because you fell in love with someone who owns a Bible and occasionally says amen. It's something that you cultivate day by day through intentional choices. You know, it's the same way that an athlete trains for strength and endurance. A husband and wife have to train their hearts if they want a marriage to reflect Christ. And when you think of an athlete, they're all in.

Michelle Moore 12:07

Yeah.

Daniel Moore 12:07

You know, they exhaust me just watching them, you know, trying to get out there and doing their workouts and all that kind of stuff. I'm like, right, they got way more endure, or you know, way more want to than I'm not.

Michelle Moore 12:17

But their passion is that. That's that's where that their passion is that, and they're gonna succeed because that's what they're going for. They have their eyes set on the prize.

Daniel Moore 12:26

Yep. And that's a good word for that is passion. If we have that same passion they do for their workout so that they can win the ribbons and the trophies and be in good shape and all that kind of thing, then we should be putting that same kind of passion into our marriage. Right.

Michelle Moore 12:43

And same way as our relationship with Christ.

Daniel Moore 12:45

Yes. Those mirror each other.

Michelle Moore 12:47

Yeah.

Spiritual Disciplines Set The Rhythm

Prayer That Aligns Two Hearts

Daniel Moore 12:48

You know, if we leave our marriage on autopilot, marriage doesn't drift towards holiness, it drifts towards convenience and towards comfort, you know, toward the you do your thing and I'll do mine. You know, how many times do we see that happen in relationships? There seems like there's just no glue there holding each of them together at all. And suddenly those people that have that mindset, all of a sudden they're just like those people we just talked about in our big long series we just done. They're roommates, you know, managing a life instead of partners pursuing God together. They're just trying to keep afloat. And, you know, we have to remember that a strong marriage isn't built on feelings, it's formed through faithful habits. Um, at the center of those habits are what we call spiritual disciplines. And those disciplines are what we're gonna talk about this week. The first one is prayer, and then there's time in God's word, and there's worship. And these items aren't religious checkboxes, these are relational lifelines. Yeah. If we don't have these things instituted in our marriages, somewhere along the way, we're gonna start having problems and we're gonna have some failures that's going to happen if we shortchange ourselves into these disciplines that we need to have in our marriage in order to build it and make it strong. So we're gonna break these down here in just a little bit, a little bit deeper. But just to superficially look over these, I'm gonna start here with prayer. And prayers where unity begins. You know, prayer is more than just talking to God, it's where your hearts get aligned, realigned together. It's the place where pride softens, where frustration loses its grip, and where unity starts to grow again. If you look at Ecclesiastes 4.12, there's that very popular scripture that has to do with marriage. A quarter three strands is not quickly broken. And of course, that third strand is who? God. It's God. And he's what holds everything together when life pulls hard on our marriage. You know, your strand and my strand can break so easy unless we have God's strand woven into that. Um, it's almost impossible for us to leave God out of that equation and never have our strand break. It's just almost impossible to do that. And the reality is it's really hard to stay mad at your spouse when you're holding their hand and asking God to bless them. We've mentioned that several times because there's so much truth in that. You know, you can't be praying, Lord, help them grow while secretly think while secretly thinking, and also please fix everything that annoys me about them. You know, it's like, where does that come from?

Michelle Moore 15:11

Oh, that's hilarious.

Daniel Moore 15:12

You know, God has a way of gently turning the mirror back onto us. And it should be. Here we are looking at ourselves, you know, it's like you annoy me and I annoy you. So it's like it goes both ways. And you know, we but I do see that happen a lot with couples. You know, they'll pray for their spouse or say they do, um, but then they have these little spats and these fights and they can't get along. And, you know, there's just so much di and so many dynamics going on there that it almost negates the fact that they say that they pray for them.

Michelle Moore 15:42

Well, and and it's part, you know, you're speaking and when you say they say, I was just thinking of, you know, yeah, they can say that they're praying over their wife and asking God to bless her, but yet the heart says, Change this, change that. Right. You know, help someone come along. Because I know I prayed this, help someone come along and tell him that he's annoying me, not necessarily annoying me, but he can see the fact that he's not right, you know, or something like that. And I I mean, I definitely could see where I definitely would say I'd be praying for him, but yet I was like, God, change him.

Daniel Moore 16:20

Yeah. And you know, if as we look at that, uh that situation of of the prayer um being there, you know, couples who pray together don't avoid conflict, they just quote unquote fight differently. Um, whenever we have prayer on our side, you know, that builds humility. It slows down those heated moments and invites the Holy Spirit to our conversations, especially the ones that usually turn into we're not really arguing, we're just passionately explaining why I'm right. You know, it's like, I mean, those conversations that we had before, it's like, you know, we can argue all we want, but here's why I'm right on this whole thing, and you're gonna get it before we're done talking. You know, it's like we don't leave any uh leeway there whatsoever just to agree to disagree and move on sometimes. And so sometimes it takes prayer to get us past that point.

Michelle Moore 17:10

Absolutely, especially if you don't see eye to eye.

Scripture Over Feelings And Expectations

Daniel Moore 17:13

Right. Uh as far as the word goes, that's the foundation when feelings shift. So what is the word? It's the Bible, and that is our marriage's true foundation. It's not our emotions, it's not our expectations, it's not even our compatibility. And see, that's those three things there we have a lot of issues with in marriage. You know, unspoken expectations. That's a big one. Um, our emotions get the best of us a lot of times. That's a big one. Sometimes when we have all of those fights all the time and it seems like it gets worse and worse, sometimes Satan starts putting it in our mind. Well, I don't know if you guys are really compatible, you know. And then that little argument starts going on inside of our minds because you know, our feelings are real, but they're also unreliable. You know, we we just can't live on our feelings, and that's why when they say love is a feeling, it's not. Um, love is an action, that's an action word, that's something that carries on moment by moment and never stops. If I truly love you, if I live on my feelings, we're all doomed. You know, it's like as some days we just don't want to feel, you know, it's like it's horrible. You know, one day we may feel deeply connected, and the next one we're wondering how this spouse loads the dishwasher so confidently yet so incorrectly. You know, it's like there's just so many dynamics that that goes on with so many things. The Bible tells us in 2 Timothy that all scripture is God breathing, useful for teaching, correcting, and training us in righteousness. The word anchors us in truth when our emotions try to rewrite the story. And reading scripture together doesn't have to be complicated. It might look like a few verses in the morning, maybe a short devotional at night, or even just sharing what God is teaching us individually. You're going through a Bible study right now with a bunch of women, and I've really been enjoying listening to you keep me updated on it. Yeah. You know, because you'll read and then you'll come in and share with me what you've read and the things that you took from it. And that excites me because I'm so glad to see my spouse also pouring into the word and trying to grow in Christ, and that means a lot to me. And, you know, I think that that also makes our relationship better. Because don't you feel like when you're in the word like that and you're doing your studying, don't you feel a little bit of difference in our relationship?

Michelle Moore 19:34

I yes, I mean, I would definitely say that um it is different. Um just because I'm more in the word and I'm not living the daily worldly life, and so I'm more focused on what God has and He's speaking through me or speaking through the Bible to me. And so it changes me as I'm reading too. So I definitely, I mean, it it's kind of hard because I love you so much. And it's like, how does your relationship get better? I mean, it does, and maybe that's why. I mean, I've never really recognized why each time I gaze in your eyes and I think, oh, I'm so in love. It may be because I'm reading the Bible. I don't know. It's just maybe because you're just an awesome guy.

Daniel Moore 20:17

Well, whatever it is, you need to keep reading it. I know. I'll tell you that right now. Gosh. But but one way to look at that though, and I think this does speak volumes, is you know, instead of you coming to me and asking me questions you don't understand, or if it was me coming to you asking you questions I don't understand, now we both that doesn't happen.

Michelle Moore 20:39

Let me just tell you guys.

Daniel Moore 20:40

Well, now we're both on this a lot at the time you actually come up and explain the scripture to me. And it's like, you get it, you know, and it's like I like that because you know that that puts us in the same language of grace, forgiveness, and truth at that point. We are both into the word, we're both studying, we're both learning and getting discernment. Christ is revealing things to both of us, and when you have that going on, that kind of a dynamic going on in your relationship and your marriage, you can't go wrong.

Michelle Moore 21:07

You know, I've never thought about it like what you're saying. Never really even gave it any thought whatsoever how it affects you.

Worship As A Lifestyle At Home

Daniel Moore 21:13

Yeah. You know, it's that's just the thing that uh I think every Christian spouse, now I'm speaking about this for myself, but I still feel like this has gotta be kind of universal across the plate. But I think that any Christian spouse that truly wants to have a good Christian relationship in their marriage, where God is in the center of that, I think that any of those spouses wants their other spouse to be interactive in the word, in prayer. Um, because you're the sidekick. I'm your sidekick. If you need something, you come to me. If I need something, I go to you. We keep God in the middle of all of that. We both need to be able to knock on the door of heaven and be able to intercede for each other. You know, that's what having a God centered marriage is all about. You know, it's not you coming to me. Than me just dumping a bunch of psychology junk on you that doesn't mean squat. No, we need some good biblical foundations, some good biblical answers to figure out what our issues and our answers need to be to our problems, you know? Because we've tried, we've tried fixing our problems without the Bible before, and we know where that got us. And it just is not a good thing. You know, we need to make sure we keep the word in the middle of that. When the word shapes our marriage, our reactions stop being driven by emotion and they start being guided by truth. And that's one thing that I just love about when we're in the word. And then there's worship. It's not just a Sunday morning kind with music and coffee in hand, but a lifestyle that says, God, you come first in this home.

Michelle Moore 23:12

Yes.

Daniel Moore 23:13

Worship is about alignment. It's about putting God back in his rightful place, which is above our preferences, above our frustrations, even above our expectations of each other. Yes. Matthew 6.33 tells us, seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and these things will be added to you. That includes peace, joy, and even happiness in your marriage. But those things were never meant to be the goal. They're the byproduct of what worship is. Worship can look like singing together, praying over meals, sharing gratitude at the end of the day, or simply pausing in the middle of chaos and saying, God, thank you for what you're doing, even when we don't even fully see it. And it's in those moments that you remember our spouse is not our source. God is. And that realization changes everything. It lifts the pressure off your spouse to be your everything and allows them to simply be your partner in pursuing him. And I think that, you know, with uh with worship being involved in you love worship.

Michelle Moore 24:10

I absolutely love worship.

Daniel Moore 24:11

Um I love watching you worship. I love it. It's, you know, sometimes we'll do church from home. And I'm not a real expressive type person very often. Uh when I'm at church, I do get into worship and that kind of thing. At home, not quite so much. I get into it and I love it, but I'm not real animated and that kind of thing. But you just I don't care what anybody thinks. Yeah, and I love that about you. I love watching that. And so, what does worship do for you?

Michelle Moore 24:40

Oh gosh, it just it ignites a fire, but it's like lifting your voice to the Lord, who is so worthy, and it's like no matter what I sound like, but he knows my heart and he is so worthy of our praise, and he goes before me and he fights for me. And it's like I can say all those words, and all I picture when I am praising the Lord is him sitting on the throne and him saying, Well done, child, you know, and just pouring his love upon me and his holy spirit, and you know, because he's a graceful father, he's a forgiving father, and so no matter what I face, I know when I'm praising him, he is right there with me, and I'm giving him all my praise.

Daniel Moore 25:34

Yeah. And one thing that I have on down here, a little lower to the next section here that I have on worship, uh, I put worship as one of the most powerful and most overlooked parts of a Christ-centered marriage. And what's interesting to me is the people that have read this book so far that I've released here, that's one of the first things that a couple of them have mentioned when they read it, is they loved how I talked about worship because that's not very common that married couples look at having what you would call worship within your marriage relationship.

Michelle Moore 26:11

Yeah.

Worship In Spiritual Warfare

Daniel Moore 26:12

And but to me, that's what this is all about. I mean, if we're going to have God in the center of everything, then everything we do should worship we should be worshiping God back with everything that we do, regardless if it's just the mundane stuff that we have to go through every day as a married couple, or if it's the um the crazy things that happen sometimes that just doesn't happen very often, but all of a sudden it's it's there. No matter what it is, if it's in our, you know, raising our children, if it's just at work, if it's um, you know, supplying for the family, making decisions, whatever it may be, we always need to keep God in the middle of that. And when we do that, that's give that's us giving him worship back. He is our creator. We do love him. We love the uh the promises that he gives us, the clarity, um, you know, the answers that we need. He's always there for us to do that. And, you know, we have to realize that whether if we like it or not, our marriage is a spiritual battle.

Michelle Moore 27:15

Yeah.

Daniel Moore 27:15

As, you know, Ephesians 6.12 reminds us that we're not fighting against each other, we're fighting against spiritual forces. But a lot of couples miss that and they end up treating each other like the enemy. But whenever that happens, worship resets that perspective. And it takes that enemy part, that battle and that war that we're trying to do between each other, it takes all of that out of that equation. And then 2 Chronicles 2022, um, if you read that story, uh, when God's people were surrounded, they didn't win the battle by fighting harder. God asked them to worship. He asked them by worshiping first, and God handled the rest. Yep. They sent the worship team out in front of the whole Israelites and told them to start singing.

Michelle Moore 28:03

Actually, it was so funny that you were just saying that because I was getting ready to bring that up. And so I'm so thankful that you said that because that is so true.

Daniel Moore 28:11

Yep.

Michelle Moore 28:12

Worship.

Daniel Moore 28:12

Yeah, it's you can fight your battles with your worship. Satan hates worship, first of all. Anytime we start worshiping God, Satan has to leave because he has no room in that room with us when we are all about God and his presence. We usher the Holy Spirit into where we are at that moment. Satan's presence cannot be there.

Michelle Moore 28:32

And so it reminds me of that song, This Is How I Fight for Battles.

Daniel Moore 28:36

Yeah, that's and that's an awesome song that puts it so well. You know, when we do worship, it shifts our focus from the problem to the presence of God. Yeah. And so as we look, you know, even at First Thessalonians chapter 5, verse 18, and Colossians 3 13, what what do those tell us?

Michelle Moore 28:54

It looks like choosing gratitude when life feels heavy. It was in First Thessalonians, and it looks like forgiving when it's hard in Colossians.

Daniel Moore 29:02

Yep. And let's continue on to the next one there, Philippians chapter two. What does worship look like there?

Michelle Moore 29:09

It looks like putting your spouse before yourself, not because they earned it, but because Christ called you to.

Daniel Moore 29:18

So so there, there's three scriptures right there that tells us how worship s shifts our focus from the problems to the presence of who God is. Yeah, it's good. We bring God into the middle of all of that, and it changes the whole dynamic of that room. And it changes the whole atmosphere of what's going on in that moment between the spouses. And so, so yes, you know, most generally people always consider worship to be what? They consider it to be singing, you know, because when you worship at church, uh that's one of the first things that comes to mind. But there is so much more to worship than that. It goes way beyond just singing. Um, it's the small daily choices.

Michelle Moore 30:00

Yeah.

Daniel Moore 30:01

You know, turning on the worship music in the house, which we do quite often, praying before decisions, which we try to do as often as possible.

Michelle Moore 30:09

I like this next one.

Daniel Moore 30:11

Speaking life instead of criticisms, choosing church when it would be easier to stay home. Yes. You know, those are all just different pieces of what worship means. And there's so many more. That's just the tip of the iceberg. But in a marriage without worship, it's easy for pride, stress, and resentment to take over.

Michelle Moore 30:30

Yeah.

Daniel Moore 30:30

Um, I I think that you've probably noticed even in your own life, with as we've been married, as at our worst m more worst moments of times that we've had when we weren't really worshiping like we should have been, and should wasn't in church like we were supposed to be. It was so much easier for all of those bad things to build up and for us to be in a fight against each other.

Michelle Moore 30:51

Yeah.

Daniel Moore 30:51

It just it really just opened the door for that.

Michelle Moore 30:54

Well, I think it changes your mindset when you have worship music and you're worshiping the father. I mean, I think it should change your mindset. And if it doesn't change your mindset, you really need to go into your prayer closet and pray. But I do think that it changes the mindset. And like it said earlier, it does change, it it keeps it from pride, stress, and resentment. Everything becomes about winning, proving a point, or just getting through the day. But in a worship-filled marriage, his presence becomes the atmosphere. Yeah, and it changes everything. When you read that, I was just like, It's so important that you recognize that and that we do it together. Right. It not only changes me, but it changes you. If it's a stressful day or we got something going on, it's like listen to this praise music. We need we need to get it together.

Daniel Moore 31:48

Yeah.

Michelle Moore 31:49

Or you can just sing. I mean, I'll let you sing.

Daniel Moore 31:53

Will you?

Michelle Moore 31:54

You never sing anymore.

Daniel Moore 31:56

Yeah. I do it at church when nobody can hear me.

Michelle Moore 31:59

And let me tell you everybody, he does have a good voice. He just doesn't like to sing anymore.

Daniel Moore 32:04

Yeah.

Michelle Moore 32:05

He did that to win me over, and now that he won me over 25 years, almost 25 years later, he's like, Yeah, not doing it.

Daniel Moore 32:12

No. I got what I wanted. That's all it matters.

Michelle Moore 32:16

So when you praise and worship, just you know, put the music on.

Daniel Moore 32:19

Oh, that's right. But when we look at worship though, conflict becomes growth, stress doesn't get the final word anymore, and joy isn't dependent on circumstances.

Michelle Moore 32:32

Yeah.

Daniel Moore 32:33

Which again, that falls in that happiness thing, you know. It's like, you're not making me happy, or the things that's going on in our relationship right now, and I just not happy, you know. And so there is a difference between happiness and joy.

Michelle Moore 32:46

Yeah.

Daniel Moore 32:47

Happiness is a feeling where joy is like love. Joy is a fruit of the spirit.

Michelle Moore 32:52

Yeah.

Daniel Moore 32:52

And so joy is something God gives us and puts inside of us, and that's something that we nurture moment by moment, just like we do when we love our spouse. And so whenever we have that worship there, we have no other option but to be joyful.

Michelle Moore 33:06

Yeah.

Daniel Moore 33:06

When we have worship involved. Because Christ is in there, you know, he's creating that joy inside of us, and we are reflecting his image. We're reflecting his joy at that point. But worship doesn't remove the battle, it just reminds you who's already won it. That's right. That's right. And that uh song you mentioned earlier, this how I fight my battles.

Michelle Moore 33:28

You know, it's they got me through some dark times when I was really sick.

Daniel Moore 33:33

Yeah, we need to we need to go into situations realizing that we are we're going into it victors.

Michelle Moore 33:39

That's actually I was just getting ready to say, we are victorious.

Daniel Moore 33:42

Yeah.

Michelle Moore 33:43

By who? By the Lord.

Daniel Moore 33:45

That's right.

Michelle Moore 33:45

You know, whatever you're fighting, whether, you know, that's that's literally what I was just thinking. He goes before us in the battles. And, you know, that song, you know, you go before him. That's how you fight your battle is the Lord.

Daniel Moore 34:00

Yeah. Jesus paid that price on Calvary when He gave His life for us. Um, He made us victors through Him with that crown that He wore. And so we sometimes walk into our arguments between each other, we walk into our fights between each other like we're this defeated foe. And it should not be that way. That's how Satan wants it to be. He wants us to look at every conflict and every problem that we have in our relationships. He wants us to look at all of that like it's unsolvable. He doesn't want us to know that there is a way out of this and we can fix it. You know, he wants it to be unfixable so he can destroy the marriage, he can destroy the family.

Michelle Moore 34:40

Now don't go in thinking I'm victorious and I'm gonna win this battle no matter what. That's pride. So you need to make sure, you know, that I was not meaning it that way. I was meaning going before a battle as in sickness or something like that.

Daniel Moore 34:56

Well, we're victorious in Christ. Yes. We're not victorious within our own selves.

Michelle Moore 35:01

Oh I could see me going, Daniel, I have this because I'm victorious and the victory is mine.

Daniel Moore 35:08

Yeah.

Michelle Moore 35:08

No matter what you say, it ain't gonna matter.

Daniel Moore 35:11

Yeah.

Michelle Moore 35:11

Because I know I'm right.

Daniel Moore 35:12

Yeah.

Michelle Moore 35:13

But then where's that gonna get me?

Daniel Moore 35:15

I whip out the Bible and I say, but we are victorious through Jesus. And on that cross that he died on, that's our victory.

Michelle Moore 35:23

That's right. And then I have to lower my head and I'd be like, Yes, honey, you're right.

Daniel Moore 35:31

Uh that was one short little conflict. That's the shortest one we ever had.

Michelle Moore 35:36

Well, half the time it's like, yeah, it's not even worth the battle. Yeah. Like we just don't anymore. It's like, you know.

Daniel Moore 35:42

Yeah.

Michelle Moore 35:43

But we do talk about it.

Daniel Moore 35:44

We do.

Michelle Moore 35:44

That's one thing. We we really we discuss things and it's like, okay, but and some like there are times I think you are just the same as I am. We're both like, is it really worth a fight?

Daniel Moore 35:55

Yeah.

Michelle Moore 35:56

No, it's not really worth it.

Daniel Moore 35:58

No, it's not. Because in uh in the end, we've got to remember God's watching. And we mentioned here a few weeks ago in the episode about the third chair. I always try to keep that in mind now, ever since I've heard that example, because everywhere that we go, all of our conversations that we have, the things that we do, we have Christ with us. And we have to remember whatever me and you do to each other and say to each other and conflict with each other, whatever it may be, Christ is watching.

Michelle Moore 36:30

Yeah.

Daniel Moore 36:30

And he's he's right there. You know, if if if we're gonna have him in our in our marriage, he's right there. And when you look at it that way, it's like it's not worth it.

Michelle Moore 36:39

Yeah.

Daniel Moore 36:40

You know, we need to get Christ involved in this and figure it out. Yeah, get these issues solved. So it's good. So is there anything that you want to add to this week's before we close it up?

Michelle Moore 36:50

Hey, I'm all about worship, people.

Daniel Moore 36:53

Yeah.

Michelle Moore 36:53

Dan will tell you, I will throw my hands in the air, it doesn't matter. And even like my worship may be different than your worship, but worship is very important to your marriage. Yeah. Just don't forget that. Whether you worship separately or together, put God before everything.

Daniel Moore 37:11

Yeah.

Michelle Moore 37:11

Just remember He's so worthy. He is worthy of the praise that we keep shout out to him.

Daniel Moore 37:17

Yeah. And always remember how well the prayer, the word, and worship go together. We don't want to leave we want to make sure everything in our marriage is totally wrapped in who God is, that ex the existence of his being. You know, he paid that price on Calvary to be a huge part of who we are. And so when we pray to him, we're talking to him, we're learning more about who he is. We read the word, he's speaking into us through the word.

Michelle Moore 37:49

And I forgot those two. I'm sorry.

Daniel Moore 37:52

But while we were talking about worship at the end there, but then worship just wraps all of that together.

Michelle Moore 37:56

Yeah.

Daniel Moore 37:57

Because if we pray and we read the word, then worship is just the perfect way, the icing on the cake.

Michelle Moore 38:03

And I hope that when people do read the Bible, if you're reading it separately, do bounce things off your spouse. See what they think, include them into it. And I mean, knowing the fact what how important it is to Daniel, I mean, I always listen to him and I think, oh my gosh, he's got so much knowledge. It's crazy. And he'll even tell you that there are times that I feel like I know nothing because he'll do this big intellectual thing, and I'm just like, yeah, what you said. But I mean, in all reality, he's never made me feel like I don't know anything, you know? And it it it matters a lot to me that he thinks it's important that I'm studying the scripture as well.

Daniel Moore 38:44

Yeah.

Michelle Moore 38:44

And that we do pray together. That is one thing that we do. We do have prayer together and we pray separately, but we do pray together, and I think that has strengthened our marriage in a lot of ways.

Daniel Moore 38:56

Yep. And I know that you're a go-to, and you know I'm a go-to. Anytime we need prayer for each other or situations going on at work or in our life, whatever it may be, we've got each other's back.

Michelle Moore 39:06

And we've literally prayed for each other a lot in the last couple of weeks because we have both been fighting sickness.

Daniel Moore 39:12

Yes.

Michelle Moore 39:13

He had no voice. So we have not recorded in like a week and a half because he's not had a voice, and he finally is getting I got over mine, he got sick. He's getting over his, now I'm starting to feel it. And it's like, oh my goodness.

Daniel Moore 39:26

We're trying to shove one in here real quick before something happens.

Michelle Moore 39:29

It's just crazy how Satan's been fighting us with that.

Daniel Moore 39:32

He has, he's really been fighting us, but but we're gonna, we're we're victorious. That's right. We're winners. That's right. Praise the Lord. That's right. But when when we live this way with worship, um, being at the core of who we are in our relationship, our marriage becomes more than just two people trying to make it work. It becomes a reflection of God's glory, something steady, something strong, and something set apart.

Michelle Moore 39:59

So good.

Daniel Moore 40:17

So as we finish up this week's episode, just want to remind you to visit our website at marriagelifeandmore.com. Please subscribe and share all the episodes that you listen to that you really enjoy. If you know somebody that's going through issues in their marriages or their relationships, and it's something that we've talked about, uh, we'd love for you to share those and maybe uh you can be a portion of helping other marriages out. That's what this is all about, as Michelle and I share each week, and then you guys get to listen to it. And then if you share with somebody else and uh God reveals something to them and it helps their marriage, then you become a part of helping that marriage as well. So that's the whole purpose of this podcast. And we thank you guys for doing that. Well, this week, as we've uh started out part one here of our episode on being God-centered in our marriage, you know, these spiritual disciplines that Michelle and I have talked about today, prayer, the word, and worship, they create a rhythm. There's a steady grounding rhythm that keeps your marriage moving in the right direction. Now, these things don't make your marriage perfect. We're still gonna have miscommunications, we're still gonna have moments where one of us says something that comes out wrong. Or let's be honest, maybe it's exactly how we meant it, just not how we should have said it. But they do give our marriage direction. They keep inviting God into the every part of our relationship, not just the polished Sunday morning version, but the real everyday life, the busy mornings, the late-night conversations, the disagreements about finances, parenting, or what on time actually means. And that's where strength is built, that's where unity is forged. A Christ-centered marriage isn't about getting everything right, it's about consistently bringing everything back to God. Because when you do that, when you pray together, when you stay rooted in his word and live a life of worship, you're not just building a marriage that survives, you're actually building a marriage that reflects Christ and everything that you do. So, prayer, the word, and the worship, they're not extras. They're essentials. They're the rhythms that keep your marriage aligned with God and connected to each other. They don't eliminate every challenge, you're still gonna have miscommunication, you're still gonna have moments where one of you says something you probably should have filtered first, but they give your marriage direction. They invite God into every part, not just the polished moments, but the messy everyday reality of doing life together. A Christ-centered marriage isn't built on big moments, it's formed in daily surrender. So pray together, stay rooted in the word, live a life of worship, because when you do, you're not just trying to have a good marriage, you're building one that reflects Christ in a way that the world can't ignore. Well, that's all for this week, and we pray that your marriage is stronger and your walk with God is closer after this episode. This is an extension of Connecting the Gap Ministries, and we pray that you have a blessed week.