173: The Debt of Love I Owe (Walking with Jesus Series, #035: Luke 7:36-50)

Jesus is invited to a Pharisee’s house for dinner. While there, a disreputable woman washes his feet with her tears and anoints them with fragrance. The Pharisee is incensed. Pastor Hollandsworth applies Christ’s lesson, that those who are forgiven much, love Him much. Those who perceive they have been forgiven little, love Him only a little.

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Turn with me in your Bibles, please, to Luke's Gospel chapter 7. We continue with our ongoing Sunday morning series entitled Walking with Jesus: Studies in the Ministry of Christ, those three and a half years when he ministered on earth. We're going through chronologically all the events of that stage of his life. We're going to read as our text this morning, Luke chapter 7, verses 36 through 50, beginning in verse 36. Then one of the Pharisees asked him to eat with him, and he went to the Pharisees' house and sat down to eat. And behold, a woman in the city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster flask of fragrant oil, and stood at his feet behind him weeping. And she began to wash his feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head, and she kissed his feet and anointed them with the fragrant oil. Now when the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he spoke to himself, saying, This man, if he were a prophet, would know who and what manner of woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner. And Jesus answered and said to him, Simon, I have something to say to you. So he said, Teacher, say it. There was a certain creditor who had two debtors, one owed five hundred denari and the other fifty. And when they had nothing with which to repay, he freely forgave them both. Tell me therefore, which of them will love him more? Simon answered and said, I suppose the one whom he forgave more. And he said to him, You have rightly judged. Then he turned to the woman and said to Simon, Do you see this woman? I entered your house, you gave me no water for my feet. But she has washed my feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head. You gave me no kiss, but this woman has not ceased to kiss my feet since the time I came in. You did not anoint my head with oil, but this woman has anointed my feet with fragrant oil. Therefore I say to you, her sins which are many are forgiven, for she loves much. But to whom little is forgiven the same loves little. Then he said to her, Your sins are forgiven. And those who sat at the table with him began to say to themselves, Who is this who even forgives sins? Then he said to the woman, Your faith has saved you. Go in peace. After reading this text my mind recalls the hymn that we sang just a little while ago at the cross. Isaac Watts wrote it. I've titled the message The Debt of Love I Owe. I have a question for you this morning, and I want you to think about it in your own heart and mind. Don't answer out loud, of course, but how enamored are you with Jesus? Something we all need to think about. Are you more like the woman in our text or more like Simon the Pharisee? The Apostle Paul urges us all to present our bodies a living sacrifice, wholly, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. You know, that's the least we can do to demonstrate our love for God. This morning I want to look at this text and bring to you five points for you to consider. Number one, I want you to see the audacious behavior of the woman. Look again in verses 37 and 38 to refresh our memories. Behold, a woman in the city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster flask of fragrant oil, and stood at his feet behind him weeping, and she began to wash his feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head, and she kissed his feet and anointed them with the fragrant oil. Let's give the setting here. Jesus is invited to eat at the home of a Pharisee named Simon. Now why does this religious leader invite Jesus? Well, we're not told specifically, but I wonder, could it be that Simon has sinister motives? Maybe is he desiring to trap Jesus into saying things that will indict himself? The Pharisees were kind of known for that. Maybe it could be that Simon is genuinely interested in learning more about Jesus to determine if he is indeed the Messiah. Maybe like Nicodemus, he was like that. We don't know for sure. But it seems from the context that this Pharisee, although he's rude, is curious. Upon arriving at the dinner party, Jesus sits down to eat. Now it's important to explain the cultural differences in their dining style versus ours. In a little while we're going to go into the fellowship hall and have lunch, and I don't expect any of you to do what they did in their day. Not very comfortable. We sit on chairs, we pull those chairs up to a table. I like that style better, but in their day, they would lay on their left side on cushions or pillows on the ground and recline toward the table, which would be a little bit elevated. And many commentaries share this because of the histories that we have. They would prop themselves up on their left elbow, and that left the right hand for eating and gesturing, you know, when talking, and their legs would be extended outward away from the table. Personally, I think that's very uncomfortable. You know, especially for dining, right? But perhaps you get used to doing things a certain way, I don't know. Now I take the time to explain this because we're told that a woman comes in and positions herself behind Jesus at his feet. So now we can picture this better, given the description of their dining posture. But I have an important question: what is a woman and particularly a woman of ill repute doing at this dinner? In ancient times, wealthy people would often hold dinner parties or feasts in their courtyard, and they would do them typically in the evening, and they would invite prominent guests or rabbis so that they could have conversation. And because it's the Middle East and it rarely rains and it's often very beautiful in the evenings, the doors were left open, other men of the community would gather in the courtyard to listen to the guests speak or talk with them. On this occasion, a woman comes into the courtyard. Now that's not forbidden, but it certainly wasn't culturally accepted in their day. Furthermore, this woman is known in the community as a sinner. Now, what does that mean? Well, we're not given specifics, but it likely means she's known to be an immoral woman. To add insult to injury, this sinful woman kneels down and creates quite a scene by weeping and washing the feet of Jesus with her tears and anointing his feet with fragrant oil. I'm sure that fragrance instantly fills that area where they're meeting. Well, the host, Simon, and his guests are stunned at this woman's audacity, for she's doing something highly unconventional in their culture, not to mention she lets down her hair in public, which is something that no Jewish woman would ever do in their era, for it was considered extreme immodesty. I think we can safely read into the text that Simon is not only annoyed, he's probably embarrassed by the woman's behavior. She doesn't belong at this dinner party. She certainly wasn't invited. Making matters worse, Jesus, who is the invited guest, never shoes her away, but receives her act of kindness. Now I want you to think about this for just a moment. Put yourself in the shoes of Simon. If you were there, you would probably be quite uncomfortable too, and perhaps embarrassed along with the host, for admittedly this is quite awkward, especially in their culture. But I tend to think modern day fundamentalists would be horrified at a scene like this and would indubitably run the woman off. Wouldn't this be shocking? Something of this nature? Well, that's essentially what Simon is thinking. He was an ancient fundamentalist. That's what the Pharisees were. Now that brings me to our second point. The hypocritical condemnation of Simon. Look at verse 39 again. When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he spoke to himself, saying, This man, if he were a prophet, would know who and what manner of woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner. Now it could be that Simon holds out hope that Jesus might be the Messiah, and that's why he's invited Jesus to dinner. Maybe he wants to find out more. But when he sees this scene and Jesus' refusal to send the woman away, he thinks in his mind, if this man were truly a prophet, he would never tolerate this behavior. We're told that. The Bible tells us that's what he's thinking. So Simon is condemning of both Jesus and the woman. You see what's happening here. But why do I say he is hypocritical in condemnation? Well, we must remember that Simon is a Pharisee and they're the legalists of their day. And Jesus had blasted them on many other occasions. Simon is hypocritical in that he's also a sinner, his sins are more inward, he's a legalist, while the immoral woman's sins are more outward, probably immorality. So his sins are a little more easily disguised and hidden, but hers are more obvious in their culture. But in both cases they're sinful people. He also has pridefulness, the Pharisees did. If the immoral woman reminds us of the prodigal son, then Simon must surely remind us of the prodigal son's brother, who was arrogant and didn't see his own sin problem. So Simon's a hypocrite. He's sinful too. By the way, we have this same problem in Christianity today. The Pharisees are the legalists of our era who point fingers at those who live sinfully while they have major issues of their own that they ignore. And so they're classic hypocrites. And that's Simon in our story. Well, Jesus reveals Simon's hypocrisy through a little story or illustration. We might call it a parable. It's a brief one. So that brings me to our third point. What I call the complete bankruptcy of both parties. Look at verses 41 through 43. There was a certain creditor who had two debtors, one owed 500 denarii, the other fifty, and when they had nothing with which to repay, he freely forgave them both. Tell me therefore which of them will love him more. Simon answered and said, I suppose the one whom he forgave more. And he said to him, You have rightly judged. Now notice in this well-crafted story by Jesus, both parties owe money, one owes ten times more than the other, but they both owe money. There's another commonality between them. Neither party has the ability to repay. But both are forgiven their debts. Okay, so you have someone who owes a really big debt and someone who owes a smaller debt, but neither one has the ability to pay, but they're forgiven. No debt due anymore. Now, what's the application? Simon thinks he's holy and the woman is sinful. His attitude is obviously prideful, while the woman's is obviously humble at this point. Because of pride, Simon doesn't see the need to repent and seek God's forgiveness. The woman realizes her spiritual bankruptcy before God, but tragically, Simon doesn't see his own spiritual bankruptcy before God. And because of that, he's unwilling to turn from his sin and get right with the Lord. He would rather judge this woman for her unconventional method of repenting and sorrowing over her sin. I think we all realize that Simon is extremely uncomfortable with her behavior toward Jesus, but he's totally missed the love factor, as I call it. Now, what do I mean by this? Well, that brings us to our fourth point, what I call the proportional demonstration of love. Look at verses 44 through 46. Then he turned to the woman and said to Simon, Do you see this woman? I entered your house, you gave me no water for my feet, but she has washed my feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head. You gave me no kiss, but this woman has not ceased to kiss my feet since the time I came in. You did not anoint my head with oil, but this woman has anointed my feet with fragrant oil. So Jesus rebukes Simon for being more concerned about social conventions than he is about sin in his own life. Hmm, that's a problem. Ironically, Simon himself has broken all social conventions with respect to Jesus. Jesus said so. Now, normally in their culture, when guests arrive, they would be greeted with a kiss on both cheeks. They still do that in the Middle East today. It's a kiss of greeting. And their feet would be washed for refreshing because they walked around in their day in sandals on hot, dusty roads. So it was just a nice thing to do for your guests. And they would also receive a fragrant drop of oil on their forehead as a gesture of kindness and welcoming. Simon has done none of that for Jesus. No kiss of greeting, no foot washing, no anointing with oil, and he's upset about the woman's lack of following cultural traditions. You see the problem here? And oftentimes that's the problem with legalists. What they consider proper standards. They're not biblically based. They're standards that they've set for themselves, which is fine. You can set standards for yourself, but don't be pushing them on other people if they're not biblical and saying, this is the kind of music you have to listen to, this is the way you have to cut your hair, this is the kind of clothes you must wear, and this is the right standard biblically, which they often imply. I know, I've been exposed to this quite a bit in my life. It's ugly, it's wrong, it's not biblical. Now, if something's biblical, we better obey it. But they take things further than biblical, make assumptions, and then assume that it's right for everybody to follow, and then they become the standard, not the Bible. The Pharisees were just like that. Jesus points out that the woman does what Simon refuses to do. She washes his feet with her tears and her hair and anoints them with oil and kisses his feet. The irony is that while Simon is greatly upset that the woman has not followed their traditions and customs, he hasn't followed them either. He hasn't washed Jesus' feet. He hasn't given him the kiss on the cheek, which is normal. He hasn't given him that little dot of oil on the forehead. Well, Jesus essentially shows Simon that he's focused on himself. He's prideful. He does not see himself as sinful. He doesn't see any need to repent. In fact, the Pharisees of their day didn't see any need to repent. Remember when John the Baptist preached to them? They said we have Abraham as our father. And Christians today say we're children of God. No need to repent of sins, no need to get right with God, no need to prepare for the future judgment seat of Christ. We're already Christians. We're ready to meet him. Ooh, that's prideful, that's Pharisaical. Now perhaps the greatest point of teaching by Jesus is found in verse 47. This is where I want to capitalize on truth for the rest of the message. Verse 47. Therefore I say to you, her sins which are many are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little. Now I personally do not think this is a matter of the woman's sins being greater than Simon's sins. Jesus never says that. Simon's sins are a big deal too. His legalism as a Pharisee is despicable to God. We know that. Jesus blasted the Pharisees all the time, as I said earlier. Simon thinks of himself as not sinful, or perhaps only nominally sinful, and therefore not having been forgiven much. He has a small view of God's forgiveness. And that's a problem, as we're going to see. But according to the parable that Jesus shares, those who understand they have been forgiven much will love him much. That's what he says. Verse 47, you can read it again. Those who think they have been forgiven little because they think they haven't needed much forgiving will love little. Again, Jesus said that. Christ's teaching is about the heart attitude. The woman falls down at the feet of Jesus, repentant, believing that he will forgive. In sorrow over her sin, she weeps, she washes his feet, she even kisses them. What a lowly thing to do. Why does she do it? Because she's been forgiven much. And she loves Jesus tremendously. Simon, on the other hand, doesn't view Jesus as worthy of this treatment. You know, I also think, and it's mentioned in the next chapter, chapter 8, the first few verses, of Mary Magdalene, whom Jesus healed from the demonic possession. How she loved Jesus, followed him everywhere, supported him in ministry. And we know that she was one of the ones in the upper room and see great love from people who know they've been forgiven much. This is a hard attitude matter. But Simon, he doesn't see himself as sinful. He hasn't experienced tremendous forgiveness, and thus he loves God nominally, if at all. By the way, I want to put a little parenthesis here. I assume you're all believers here today. I know the testimonies of most of you. You've been saved, you've been regenerated. Some time ago you can point to a time when you believed on Jesus and he gave you eternal life. Wonderful. But did you know that believers can have this same problem that Simon has? I think he's a believer too, in an Old Testament sense. He's just now trying to figure out if Jesus is the Messiah or not. But you know, we can have the attitude of Simon that, well, I wasn't such a bad person. Sure, I got saved and Jesus forgave me of all my past sins, but I haven't been a bad person. Well, Simon didn't see himself as sinful either. We have all been forgiven an impossible debt. We could never repay our sin debt. And that's the point Jesus is making. One owed a huge debt, one owed a smaller debt, but they were both bankrupt. They couldn't repay. But the one who had the bigger debt had the greater love. And I think that goes to the hard attitude, as we're going to see here as we move on. Here's the important truth taught in this text that we all need to remember. Your love for God is directly proportional to your view of his forgiveness in your life. So if you think, you know, I wasn't a bad person. Thankfully Christ saved me, forgave my sins, but wasn't a bad person, still not a bad person. You have a low view of forgiveness, you're like Simon. But if you're like this woman, maybe you didn't commit the kind of sins she did, but you have the attitude, the Lord's forgiven me an impossible debt. I have the feeling you're going to have a great love for Jesus in your heart because that fits with what he taught here. May I put it this way? How much you love God and our Lord Jesus Christ is in direct proportion to how much you think he has forgiven you. If you don't think you've sinned much and therefore you haven't needed to seek God's forgiveness, then you can be sure you don't love him very much. That's what Jesus taught. The more you see yourself as forgiven, the more you will love Jesus. Now, incidentally, I should. Point out that reward in the next age, that is, at the judgment seat of Christ, is contingent on one's love for Jesus. In part, there are other things. But I can demonstrate this, 1 Corinthians 2 9, Paul said, I has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love him. So if you're a believer who doesn't love God very much, maybe not at all. Maybe just so self-focused, you just don't love the Lord, don't appreciate what he did for you, have a low view of forgiveness, think you're a pretty good person. And a lot of Christians are like this, believe it or not. Could be you. We all have to examine our hearts before the Lord. But if this applies to you, if you have a low view of forgiveness, you don't love the Lord very much, you're not going to be rewarded in the next age, the millennial age of Christ. This is just one verse we could show others. God has incredible reward and glorification in store for his children, but it's reserved for those who love him. 2 Peter chapter 1 lists several things that we as believers must add to our faith. Things like virtue, which is moral character, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, brotherly kindness, and then love. And I think this is an upward progression. So in other words, I think you start with basic faith, believing God's promises for daily living. Then you learn moral character as the Spirit fills you and enables you, and you learn knowledge, learn more things from God's word and self-control, and so on. The highest and end of the list here is love, and it's agape love in the Greek, the highest form of love, self-sacrificing, unconditional, Christ-like love is the idea. But then Peter says after this, if you do these things, believer in Christ, that's who he's writing to, you will never stumble, for so an entrance will be supplied to you abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. So he's talking about reward. So if you're a believer who's adding to your faith these things, and especially all the way to the end, love, you'll have an abundant entrance into his coming kingdom. Here's the point loving God is required for being rewarded by him. Now that brings me to some brief thoughts that I would like to share for you to ponder. I've just been mulling this over. It's not from our text, but I believe it's related to our text, especially verse 47. Have you ever wondered why did God allow sin in the world? Now I'm not saying he's the author of sin. I don't believe that. I don't believe God authored sin. But he did allow it. Now I want you to think about this. God is omniscient, which means he knew before he ever created Adam that Adam would sin and plunge the human race into depravity. Does anybody disagree with that point? I don't think so. We all here believe that God is omniscient and he knew in advance what would happen. Number two, we also know that he's omnipotent, which means he's all powerful and could have prevented it all from happening if he so desired. He could have created man entirely differently, right? Anybody disagree? I don't think so. He could have formulated a different plan. He's God. He could have created man without the ability to sin. Couldn't he? Yeah, if he wanted to. So why didn't he? I have my opinion about this. He wanted man to have a free will with which to choose to love God. Okay, I think that's a reasonable answer. But did man's choice to sin destroy all hopes of loving God? No, because God sent his son to earth to atone for man's sins out of love. Romans 5.8, love this verse. But God demonstrates his own love toward us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Hallelujah. Love of God, love of Christ. And so now God offers forgiveness. 1 John 4.10, and this is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his son to be the propitiation. That's a big word, has a lot of meaning to it, could mean satisfaction, some other concepts in here I won't get into today. But a lot of commentators say it means basically means of forgiveness, the propitiation, the means of forgiveness for our sins. Ephesians 1.7. Seeing that Jesus died out of love to offer us forgiveness of sins, we should love him in return. 1 John 4.19, we love him because he first loved us. Anybody disagree? This is biblical stuff. But there's one big problem, and this is where man's will comes into play. To whom little is forgiven, the same loves little. And Jesus directed that comment to Simon the Pharisee. Now here's the point we need to grasp. We are all sinners, and we have all been forgiven much, as I said earlier in Impossible Deb. But those who think they have been merely forgiven little because they think they're not so bad have a perception problem and they love Jesus little or not at all. That's what Jesus said. That's why Simon perceives that he doesn't need forgiveness, although the immoral woman in his thinking, well, she needs a whole lot of forgiveness. And again, sadly, many Christians have the same mentality. They don't perceive their need for forgiveness, and so consequently, they don't love him very much. Could it be that when God created the world, he allowed the ability for man to sin so that man would seek God's forgiveness, experience his love, and love him back in great measure? We love him because he first loved us. Already saw that verse. Did God allow sin so that our love for him would be maximized? You know, when I sin and go to God in humble confession and repentance, and often with great sorrow in my heart, I experience his gracious forgiveness every time. His love is showered upon me, and I sense it, and that drives me to love him all the more. How does God measure man's love for him? Well, John 14, 15, Jesus said, If you love me, keep my commandments. In verse 21, he said, He who has my commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves me, and he who loves me will be loved by my father, and I will love him and manifest myself to him. John 14, 23, if anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. Don't miss this. Jesus has a great place in his heart and in his kingdom for those who love him and who demonstrate that by obeying him. When you got married, did you love your spouse? Did your spouse love you? Well, of course. I hope you would say yes. And hopefully you still love one another if your spouse is still living, and that's as it should be. Would you have married someone who didn't love you? Now, some people I realize are forced into situations and other cultures and so on. We're not going to get into that factor today, but if you have a choice, would you have married someone who didn't love you? Then why do we expect Jesus to marry someone who doesn't love him? His bride? Many children of God claim to love Jesus, but they don't evidence it by their behavior because they're disobedient lawbreakers. And Jesus said, if you love me, well, you're going to be keeping my commandments. And so these disobedient lawbreakers don't think of themselves as being sinful or needing forgiveness for anything. They don't appreciate the forgiveness that God has granted in the past to the fullest extent. They might give it lip service. But the hard attitude's not right. Consequently, they aren't loving toward him, so why would he choose them as his bride? Now to say it again, could it be that when God created the world, he allowed the ability for man to sin so that man would seek God's forgiveness, experience his love, and love him back in great measure? I think it's very possible. Likely. Through this means, his bride could be chosen, called out from his body, the church, to rule together with him in New Jerusalem in the age to come. Think on these things. Maybe there's more to this passage, verse 47, especially in Luke 7, than we realize. Now I close with a brief final point. Number five, the gracious forgiveness of Jesus. Luke 7, 48, then he said to her, Your sins are forgiven. The woman believed Jesus would forgive her, and he did. She could now live in peace, the burden off her back. You ever remember times when you had a burden on your back, a burden of sin? And you went to the Lord on the basis of 1 John 1 9. What a promise. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. What a promise. Claim it all the time. I hope you do too. Can you remember a time when you had a heavy burden of sin on your back and you went to the Lord on the basis of that promise? He said, Lord, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. What I did was wrong. Confession is agreeing with God about the sin, and that's what you just did if you had that attitude. Well, you can count on the fact that He has forgiven you because He's faithful and just to forgive you. And to cleanse you from all unrighteousness. Glory, hallelujah, for that. That's the way this woman feels. We read in verse 50, then he said to the woman, Your faith has saved you, go in peace. Now, this is not regeneration type saving. I think you understand that in the context. The woman was saved in the same way that Zacchaeus was saved. Not in the sense of being regenerated, for she was already a believer in an Old Testament sense, but in the sense of being delivered from her sins through repentance and God's forgiveness. Jesus gives the forgiveness that she seeks. Now I want to share with you a personal illustration, if we have time, maybe two, from my own life, when this became a reality to me. And this isn't about me, it's just that I want you to be able to connect dots in your own life to say, yeah, I remember times like that too. I remember 35 years ago, before I became a pastor, I've been a pastor almost 30 years, but before I became a pastor, I was filling the pulpit somewhere. I had my message all prepared on the holiness of God, Isaiah chapter 6. And we sang holy, holy, holy in the church congregation that morning. I think I had requested it of the song leader. And I got up to the pulpit. And I saw someone in the room that I hadn't seen for years, didn't know they were there. And it brought back to my mind a sinful part of my high school past for which I was ashamed. Now I had made things right with people, but I hadn't considered it that big of a deal. But that morning when I stepped to the pulpit, after having sung holy, holy, holy, and that whole previous week preparing a message on the holiness of God and hearing Isaiah say, Woe is me, for I am undone, for I am a man of unclean lips. Stepped to the pulpit and I broke down in tears. Now, I'm not an emotional person typically, but I couldn't help it. And I remember, this was a tough thing. I remember standing there at the pulpit, ready to preach a message on holiness, message all finely prepared, you know, and God just broke me. And I thought, you know, I didn't have a very high view of God's forgiveness and love toward him. And he broke me that morning. And it was painful, I think, even for the people in the pews, because I think I cried a couple of minutes before I could get it under control. It was that's like an eternity, right? When you're sitting there waiting on the preacher to get it together. It was embarrassing. But I needed it. And during the quietness of the moment when I was crying at the pulpit, I said, Lord, forgive me. I now see what a big deal it was to you. Now it is to me. Please forgive me fully. And he did. Then a great peace came over my heart. Tears went away. Preached a message on the holiness of God with all of my conviction because I now meant it fully, now understood it more than ever. And God used it in that congregation. Maybe you can relate to that. I think we need those times where we realize how horrid sin is. You know, you ever stop to think that in the Old Testament they had to kill lambs to be their substitute for their sins? That was the way they sought God's forgiveness. That's what he told them to do. Bring a lamb, in some cases a bull, you know, a sin offering to God. Wow. A poor innocent lamb had to die. And it was horrible. I mean, you had to kill the thing. It was bloody, it was messy. Why did God do all that? Probably to demonstrate the horribleness of sin and the huge price it exacts from its victims. Maybe that's why God lets us see the hoardness of our sin sometimes and break down in weeping over it. We just need that like this woman. I can relate. That wasn't my sin, but I could relate to her heaviness of heart. I want to share with you another illustration that happened two years after I became a pastor in the year 1999. I'd been a pastor for only two years, but I had hit a brick wall, so to speak. I'd been trying really hard to be a good pastor and help people grow, but there were many obstacles, and it seemed like I was going nowhere. And I wasn't really being fulfilled in ministry. It was rather discouraging. I remember crying out to the Lord to help me, lead me in the right direction, help me to see what the problem is. Is it me? And after months of praying like that, the Lord gave me an answer that I never expected. He used one verse of Scripture to convict me. Now the Lord's done that on other occasions with other verses, but this time it was about my sin. Because I had asked him specifically, show me what's the problem? Is it me? And you know what the verse was? It's out of James. God resists the proud, but he gives grace to the humble. Oh, I was smitten. I mean, that verse kept coming around to me, so I knew it was from the Lord. He was answering my prayer and showing me my problem. Now I had difficulty understanding that at first because I didn't think I was a braggart or arrogant in my attitude. I didn't think, but God showed me that I was proud in other ways that I had never considered before. Namely leaning to my own understanding and going about the ministry in my own strength. That was pride too. I was trying hard to do the work of the ministry, but therein was the problem. I was doing it in dependence on myself rather than in dependence on the Lord, and shame on me. I knew better. At first I didn't think it was a very big deal. So I said, Lord, you know, please forgive me for that, you know, kind of went on with life. Kind of like I did in the first illustration. But then something happened. I was attending a conference for pastors, and I chose to sit in on a workshop session in the morning that I thought would be a help to me. The speaker was a well-known pastor who had faced the same thing that I had going about the ministry in dependence on self. The only difference was that he was at the end of his ministry. He was quite old, and that's when he had his awakening, but I was just at the beginning of mine, thank the Lord. Maybe I could learn some things from this. Well, in the course of his session, the man described himself as being proud and not realizing it, the very sin of which I had been guilty. And the Lord connected the dots for me. And again, it was embarrassing, but sitting in that man's workshop session, I started weeping. Because the Lord showed me you're proud and you haven't admitted it fully yet. And I couldn't stop weeping. Now, again, I'm not an emotional person typically. Most people know me that way, but I cried through the whole testimony he gave in that hour because I was seeing myself in all of my sinful ugliness. God was working. He was hammering away at me through his word, through the testimony of another pastor who had learned the hard way. That's one of the reasons I'm sharing it today. Maybe it'll help others. Near the end of his session, he changed gears and he talked about how God had gotten his attention and he had heeded and God forgave him. And a peace came over me at that moment. That God had forgiven me too. For I had prayed during that session while I was weeping, Lord, I see the problem now. Please forgive me. And he did, and a peace came over me because I was genuinely sorrowful and repentant, and I had talked to God about it many times leading up to that session, too. But it was as if the burden fell off my back. The weight was lifted, and I was a forgiven man, and the love of Christ flooded my soul. Now there's something in that that's indescribable. I can't put it into words, but have you ever had the love of Christ just flood your soul so overwhelmingly that you can't even articulate it? That's what happened to me. And I remember the speaker talking about how the love of Christ had flooded his soul too when he had gotten right. Then the most glorious part of the session happened. Near the end, he talked about how that once he had got right with God, things had changed. He went forward in the ministry, letting God do the work now through him, and the ministry became personally fulfilling. And it was shortly after that that he experienced great revival in his ministry, the very thing that he had been trying to manufacture all along through the decades of his ministry. Well, the Spirit of God fell upon him and upon his church, and the church was forever changed. And I cried some more, longing for the same thing in my ministry. I prayed with the man afterwards. I went up to him and told him a little bit about what I was going through. He was so gracious he prayed with me. And I went home from that conference with a renewed vision, a greater love for the Lord, the burden off my back. It was shortly after that, just a year later, that God sent revival in our church. And I mean he cleaned house. It forever changed the course of our church. I got up one Sunday to preach a sermon that I had fully prepared. And I remember sitting there singing the hymns, and God telling me, I want you to lay that aside and preach this. I'll put it on your heart. I had been studying personally the book of James. And I got up that Sunday and I took my notebook and I laid it aside and I said, folks, I believe God wants me to preach a message that He has laid on my heart that I haven't prepared. Now I've been personally studied the book of James, so I want to share with you what I've learned from the book of James. And I went through the book of James in a highlight form and I hit all the major topics. Now, if you know anything about the book of James, it's a heavy book. You know, he deals with a lot of tough stuff that Christians need to hear. After that message, and I could see God was working in the congregation, I did something I had never done before. I said, I just believe the Lord would have me open this up for some comments if anybody wants to share anything. And one man right over on this side, right away, popped up and he said, he looked at a man across the auditorium and he pointed his finger at him and he said, I want to ask you to forgive me because for 15 years now, I've been bitter against you. Because of the way we built this church. You were in charge of that. I didn't like how you did it. I've been bitter at you ever since. And that man across the room that he was pointing at stood up and said, I've been bitter at you too, and I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. And they got right with God. Got right with one another. And then a woman popped up and she said, Most of you know me, she was elderly. She said, I've had racial hatred in my heart for decades. I don't know where that came from. Book of James, I guess. She said, God forgive me for that, and I hope all of you will too. And there was one after another people popping up I never would have expected, but I didn't do that. God did that. First of all, because I had to see my sin and deal with it. And then God said, okay, the decks are cleared, now I can work. And a great revival came to that church. People got right with God. It was shortly after that we sold our property, unanimously agreed to sell it and move west, started up with a new name, and the church really took off, and I thank the Lord for all that he did. And I've never gotten over it. God had to change me before he could work, and I'm forever in his debt. My love for the Lord has grown through the years. I still have a long way to go, of course, but I can truly say with the hymn writer, drops of grief can ne'er repay the debt of love I owe. Hear, Lord, I give myself away 'tis all that I can do. And I say that from a genuine heart. I'm not perfect, I got a lot of problems. But I bring them before the Lord when I sin. Seek to have victory in my life as a pattern. I've given myself to the Lord, and He's done a wonderful work. Thank Him. The same guy who wrote this hymn, Isaac Watts, also wrote, When I Survey the Wondrous Cross. And in the last line of that hymn, he says, Love, so amazing, so divine, demands my soul, my life, my all. In a small way, I can appreciate the heart of this woman who humbly and lovingly washed the feet of Jesus because she simply couldn't get over his gracious forgiveness. Do you have that same heart? Those who have been forgiven much will love him much. If you don't think you've needed much forgiveness, you probably don't love him a whole lot. I hope that changes before you meet him at the judgment seat, or you won't be rewarded.