Join us for an intimate chat with our guest Nila, a beacon of resilience and ingenuity, who faced the challenging shift from her home city to the sprawling metropolis of Los Angeles amidst a global pandemic. Nila's narrative is a testament to the power of innovation, as she carved out a niche for herself on TikTok, a platform where she celebrates black excellence in all its forms from brands to eateries, events and more. Our conversation takes you on a journey of the highs and lows of being a black woman in LA, and how to find solace and familiarity in black spaces and communities.
Ever wondered about the pulse of LA's nightlife? Our dialogue ventures into the myriad options for socializing and entertainment in the city. From rooftop cinemas to brunch spots, and pulsating day parties, we've got your night out in LA covered. We also delve into the significance of establishing connections and building a supportive community when relocating to a new city. The complexities of fame, homelessness, and the unique dating landscape of LA all make an appearance in our discussion.
Finally, we take a moment to reflect on the diverse beauty standards of Los Angeles and the importance of carving out your own space of self-confidence in a city that can often make you feel otherwise. We underscore the value of strong female friendships and the need to consistently make time for your friends. In a city where beauty often dictates worth, we emphasize the need to redefine these standards, and champion the importance of inner beauty and strength. Join us on this enlightening journey exploring the multi-faceted black culture and success in the City of Angels.
Join us for an intimate chat with our guest Nila, a beacon of resilience and ingenuity, who faced the challenging shift from her home city to the sprawling metropolis of Los Angeles amidst a global pandemic. Nila's narrative is a testament to the power of innovation, as she carved out a niche for herself on TikTok, a platform where she celebrates black excellence in all its forms from brands to eateries, events and more. Our conversation takes you on a journey of the highs and lows of being a black woman in LA, and how to find solace and familiarity in black spaces and communities.
Ever wondered about the pulse of LA's nightlife? Our dialogue ventures into the myriad options for socializing and entertainment in the city. From rooftop cinemas to brunch spots, and pulsating day parties, we've got your night out in LA covered. We also delve into the significance of establishing connections and building a supportive community when relocating to a new city. The complexities of fame, homelessness, and the unique dating landscape of LA all make an appearance in our discussion.
Finally, we take a moment to reflect on the diverse beauty standards of Los Angeles and the importance of carving out your own space of self-confidence in a city that can often make you feel otherwise. We underscore the value of strong female friendships and the need to consistently make time for your friends. In a city where beauty often dictates worth, we emphasize the need to redefine these standards, and champion the importance of inner beauty and strength. Join us on this enlightening journey exploring the multi-faceted black culture and success in the City of Angels.
LA will humble you and it humbles a lot of people. Be okay be okay with finding your confidence outside of what you work like, and so I think people come out here and think like I'm a 10 and wherever I'm from, they come here and they're not the baddest in the room anymore and they're disappointed and it's like girl, you have so much more to offer.
Speaker 3:You said I don't think black men here like black girls.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if you are a black man in LA and your preference is black women, you have the pick of the winner. You are like golden out here because, realistically, a lot of black men out here. Online dating was like how you find men like black women and vice versa.
Speaker 3:So how do you feel about the people who come out here and do you feel like a lot of make it in a sense, or is it just loss and false dreams and hopes.
Speaker 1:I think that people have to define what making it is for them, and what does success look like for you? Do you wanna just be able to make money from your art, or do you wanna be world renowned? Or world known for what you do. I have gotten chase by home sales before that time. He walks past me and he swings yes, I was so, cause he missed.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I'm looking down at my folks. I'm like it happened so quick. I did a process with it. I'm like he just kinda hit me.
Speaker 3:So, nila, tell us where you from, who you are, what you do in LA and the brand you built on TikTok.
Speaker 1:Yes, so I'm originally from Atlanta and then I went to school in DC. I'm a Howard alumna, love my expertise and I moved to LA in 2019 after I graduated from college. When I first got out here, I was in consulting. I do have a nine to five. I don't like to tell people what my nine to five is, cause people on the internet are crazy, but I do have a nine to five. Concentration is not my only job, but I do make money from it. I really enjoy it. I love doing it.
Speaker 1:My favorite part about it is that my brand really spotlights black everything, so like black brand black owned businesses you know what I'm saying Events where we can feel comfortable and feel ourselves in LA. And it all started because, like I said, I moved out here in 2019. So, like I moved here in July of 2019. So I was definitely ripping and running that first six months when I was out here and I was going outside and I was going to parties and I was going all this stuff.
Speaker 1:I was outside, I was outside, and then COVID, and so I was like dang, like I've been in LA Almost two years and you know I don't know what to go do because, COVID, we were in the house.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't know, you know, I don't have my spots, I don't have the places like my favorite places to go, my favorite places to eat stuff like that. So that's why I started TikTok. I was like I'm just going to explore LA and go to the stuff I want to go to and go do things I want to see.
Speaker 3:Facts. Well, you built a huge brand on TikTok. Well, I feel like you're kind of like the go-to page of let me see, let me see what like let me find especially being new here right. Being new here is like damn. Let me just go on your page and see like date nights, food spots. But before we get into all that good stuff, let's talk about like actually being black in LA. How has your experience been like in the city?
Speaker 1:Okay, so I'm from two. Well, I grew up in two very black cities.
Speaker 2:Like I said.
Speaker 1:I'm from Atlanta, which is very black, and then I went to school in DC, which is also very black, like two very black cities, and I think LA is black, but you have to find it, you have to know where to go, and so it looks a little bit different here than it looks on the East Coast, but it's still here, you know. So my experience has been very great. I will say, like being a black woman in LA is a little bit different, like I feel like black men may have a little bit easier, just because I was used to even just dating, like you know what, we're young, so we're dating, we're having a good time and yeah, so coming out here it was like different, like whoa, like oh, they don't like black girls like that. So that was another thing that made me really start my pages to go to parties and go to events and restaurants where black men are checking for black women.
Speaker 1:And so yeah, and I had. I've had two boyfriends that I've been here, so my ex he's from LA and then my current boyfriend is from LA, and that's been beautiful because they've been able to show me the city from a native's point of view.
Speaker 3:Like somebody from here, that point of view.
Speaker 1:So that's been my experience.
Speaker 2:Like.
Speaker 1:I've been able to find those black spaces because I hung out with people who are from LA. Then I have a line sister. She's from here, she's from Madera Heights and she Asha, my girl. She's probably gonna watch this, but she showed me everything Like she told me where to go. I lived with her when I first moved out here, so my experience has been cool.
Speaker 2:Is it a?
Speaker 1:good time. I want to stay here. I think that the black kids who grew up in LA they're so close. They're so close knit. It's a cool experience. I want to say but yeah, so she showed me like everything.
Speaker 1:Like I said, they're from Madera, so like she's been friends with her friends and they were like kindergarten. They all grew up together. They all did the same, like Jack and Jill, the same like Debbie Taun, stuff. So I saw that side of LA where I feel like a lot of transplants don't get to see that because they're not that close with people who are from here.
Speaker 3:So why you feel like the black men here? Well, when you first came here, you said I don't think black men here like black girls. Yeah, yeah, of course.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's not all encompassing yeah but it, I will say, moving to California. This is where I've seen the most interracial couples on both ends Like yeah. I've seen black women with data they're people. I've seen black men data that people, and so that was new for me because, like I said, like in Atlanta, you know the deep South, like racism is a real thing, like I'm not saying it's not a real thing here, but it's way more in your face 100 when you're in the South, and then in.
Speaker 1:DC. It's filled with, like, a lot of young black professionals and it's a very black city. You have so many HBCU's in DC, or in the DC area at least. You have Howard, you have Bowie, you have top well talks, nice, we see you. But you have these schools when black kids are meeting and dating and hanging out with each other and it's a good time. So moving here was different because, like there's no if we see you here yeah there's no.
Speaker 1:You know I mean that that vibe isn't here, so it's like going into these communities. You got to find where you fit.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and so let's talk about finding where you fit, yeah. Or for a black person who probably just moved for, like myself or somebody else's probably not as extroverted, how do they find? Those faces, those spaces besides your page.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's definitely specific events, like there are events that are forced to like what a cornbread happens every month, black market Flee happens every month. Like on the block happens every month. Okay you know, those are some events where you can go and Fit in like you're a part of it. There's also certain DJs at those, certain parties, like LA is way more of a the DJ runs the scene rather than like the club.
Speaker 1:That's D so you know if you follow DJ like DJ artistic, dj mouse P, dj honeyby, you know I'm saying DJ rose, god's like.
Speaker 1:These are people who throw parties that are like for us by us, okay, and then, as far as just like the areas of town, I definitely say Inglewood, lamar Park, laderra, highview Park, ball and health areas, like all over there by, like the Crenshaw mall, all over there, like those are the areas where we're the most prominent and where you go, you'll look around you like okay, this is where I'm supposed to be community. Yeah this is my community and so especially, like Even saying Inglewood get built up in the small time I've been here. Yeah my game. This is different, like they're gentrifying Inglewood.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so it's all about finding those spaces and making sure that we have those spaces and, like I said, laderra Park, even on West Adams, like over there, like their spaces where we're prominent and where we are.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you gotta go to them. Yeah, thanks, thanks. So let's dive into the meeting. Potatoes, yeah that's how I want to. I got a date. Okay, and I want to show her a good time. Okay give me the best spot.
Speaker 1:Oh, I got you. So depends on type of girl or guy or person. So if you are dating someone who is a huge movie fan, Okay and rooftop cinema is my favorite thing to do. I love it. They have it in Elsa, gundo, and then there's two locations downtown there's the arch district and then there's like the South Park area and basically they show like older movies, um, like almost every night and you sit on the rooftop and you watch and you have the headphones like a very cute that's like a very cute cozy vibe.
Speaker 1:Yeah if you have somebody who loves a good branch, like I'm a turn-up date, like I want to go out, I want to have a good time. So good brunch is a beautiful life, jamaican kitchen, nice downtown. Another good brunch is posting beam. That's a little less turn, but the food is good. You get bottomless from most of them. Have good music Okay um.
Speaker 1:Court cafe, the court cafe that's over there in like the Lodera area. They have really a good time, music, they have a mimosa tree. They don't necessarily have like a bottomless which you get a mimosa tree. So those are like the turn dates. I would say, if you're looking for something A little higher in, you're trying to spend a little check on somebody, okay, um, state 48.
Speaker 3:I just went again.
Speaker 1:One of my favorite restaurants in LA is so good. It's such a nice thing it's like really fine dining. Yeah, that is a check though so be ready to spin facts Um what I suggest people. Echo park the swan boats are fun.
Speaker 3:Okay, that's a little bit yeah.
Speaker 1:And that's not super expensive. I think it's like $12 per person. Yeah, on my page I try to show people dates where, like, we can afford to go, like anybody can go, anybody can go do different range of Dates. Um, one of my favorite places to go to is Delanona and that's like downtown. Okay it's a pizza place with natural wine, and the pizza is so, so good.
Speaker 1:Okay and then they have a bar right next door and it's kind of like 70s theme, like disco ball, really cute. So yeah, that's a couple places you can go All right.
Speaker 3:So on a Saturday night, what is that you're doing LA for our people? Like, what would you recommend? And that's areas Okay.
Speaker 1:I say again follow the DJ's follow the DJ's. Okay, so you're looking at again. Like I said, honeyby rose got miles p E. Um, dj Briggs, dj artistic, like these are people who have parties almost every weekend. It's always something going on. Another one of my childhood phase for Saturday as continental club Um, that's downtown and that's always a good time. I have a bomb Every time I go to continental club. Um, saturday is a hard night. I would say Friday, dj Briggs always does ace hotel the deep end.
Speaker 3:I've been there, yeah, yeah. I've been there a couple times, yeah, and that's one of my favorite like though weekly standing party.
Speaker 1:You know it's gonna be a good time. You know you're gonna have fun. Yeah, like all I have people in town. I don't know, really know what else to do that weekend. That's that party. To go to LA is a big day party place too, so you have the everyday people that comes through, you have familiar faces, you have inside voices those a few parties like daytime parties that happen on Saturday too, that are a good time. You just gotta follow the pages and see like when they're having them.
Speaker 3:Okay, okay, so. So that's dope and it's crazy. You mentioned ace hotel, cause I've been there a couple times. I'm like that this shit is lit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a good time Every time you went yeah, so what?
Speaker 3:what's next for you? Like in LA, Do you see yourself staying here?
Speaker 1:Absolutely Okay, I want to stay here. I actually want to start hosting events. Oh yeah, I don't necessarily, I don't know. Oh, and I forgot another party sundays mimosa club. Whenever that comes up, that's a good time. Okay but I want to stay here. I want to start doing events, um, I want to do events in black women, in friendship, though, so I don't really want to do parties. I would throw a couple parties, I guess, but my focus now, as I'm getting like older, is like building community. Okay making sure that we feel like we have a community.
Speaker 1:Yeah and I honestly think black men here needed to like people move out here, you move by yourself. You're chasing whatever dream you're chasing or you just want to live on the West Coast and it's hard to build community as an adult.
Speaker 3:This is not a college. Yeah, it's not college and a lot of people don't realize that like it's hard coming somewhere new.
Speaker 1:Y'all haven't been in the same. You haven't been in the same space with people. You don't know people and you're having to start from scratch. I'll say, like that was one experience. I don't want to say I was lucky, I didn't have, but I came here with friends. Yeah a lot of people from Howard move to your street after college. So I had a friend group, pretty much a student at the gate right and so.
Speaker 1:I feel like you know people who didn't go to Howard or didn't go to like USC, or you know Aren't in these communities that are kind of already built. Yeah it's hard to make friends. Like, how do you make friends out?
Speaker 3:here. I know a couple people out here, so that's that's the good thing. Besides that, though, it is a challenge, but that's why I feel like you come out here, though it's to get out your comfort zone and meet new people, but it's not.
Speaker 1:It's no easy task, I'll tell you that much and that's why like, and I even think about that. So we just are talking about, like I think, events for men, when people too just come and like.
Speaker 3:So talk about your event. Like what, what are you thinking? Like, what is it gonna be?
Speaker 1:Just look at that friendship center event. So, whether that's floral designs, whether that's yoga, whether that's walks on the beach, like getting people together to create. Okay, build community and feel like they have a community here, because it is hard, like I'm sure you know. We're three hours and you're from these clothes. Yeah, we're three hours ahead. So you're already kind of on a different time zone. Then we're five hours almost from everywhere like for the most part.
Speaker 1:You know Texas you can go to in about three. But other than that, like it's far and it's hard to be out here by yourself and it's hard to be out here alone, especially if you don't have family out here.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, I mean Facts and also comes down to like, what do you come out here for right, and that's why I think your page was so dope. For for me, at least me, coming out here, going on your page, is like okay, although I didn't go to yeah, all those things that it's like okay, these are save. Yeah, I could pull up any time. So that that is, that is fired. That is fires, fuck. Have you? Have you noticed Meeting people out here, not these events? Is it mostly natives or people who come out here?
Speaker 1:It's mixture. I say, depends on what events you go to, because some events are like very LA Cody, like People are from LA so they're going here, and the other events are more like okay, these are a lot of transplants.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like I know, like DJ artistic and DJ mouse P, they're both from out here but they both went to HBCU. So it's kind of like a mixture for their parties, because they have the transplants. They know that moved out here from their school. But they also have, like their friends who were born and raised.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So it's like that, and then some of the festivals and stuff like hot water, cornbread is a mixture. I say black market fleet Honestly. I usually see more transplants there. You can kind of always tell to like. You can look at people and be like are you from here, are you a transplant?
Speaker 3:How can you tell?
Speaker 1:It's a style like Specifically, I think, a leha, and I think people don't realize that people from LA have a very distinct style. Okay very laid-back like men are in the dickie, they're in chucks.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean gold jewelry. Women are wearing, like big gold earrings, a lot of gold jewelry. Yeah usually like braids girls really love braids, like so it's just like little things like that you can tell like, okay, they're from LA, they're not. Of course, everybody dresses how they want to dress. I'm not saying anything like that, I do, and the way they talk to like the way they in their demeanor.
Speaker 1:I say people from LA are very, very, very laid-back. You can always tell and somebody's in the party they're from LA because they're chilling until in LA song comes. So it's like you can tell them in transplants are a little. I feel like sometimes it could be a little more in your face, like you know, oh, I'm from so-and-so and I'm trying to do this and this and I'm out here to be an actress, singer, dancer, writer, rapper, model. So I think that's the difference is like the demeanor of where you are, how they're acting at parties, what they're wearing.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So do you feel like, do you get that a lot, like it's a lot of networking and people trying to Showcase who they know and what they know? How do you feel about what? About that?
Speaker 1:I think that people got to get how they live.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Like I think I was able to have such a beautiful experience in the lay, because I was not trying to be in the industry, like I was never. Like I want to be an actress, I want to be a singer, so I could go to those industry events because I have so many. That's the thing. Like everybody out here works in entertainment.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I have a lot of friends who work in entertainment. They're a little bit behind the scenes like PR, and you know what I'm saying. That's, that's like production. Yeah, so I can go to the events and have a and I have a good time because I'm not. I don't feel the pressure of I need to network in this one yeah, because I gotta make it yeah Like that's not what I'm trying to do.
Speaker 2:I'm here to have a good time. I might record.
Speaker 1:I might be like dang, I'm having fun. But, that's as far as it goes for me, but for the people who do have to network, like I get it, like you came out here with the goal.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And you got to do it so go crazy.
Speaker 3:Yeah, do you feel like your page has presented opportunities for you that you probably didn't expect? Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 1:I definitely think, like some of the events I have gone to and stuff, I'd be like dang, I would not have been here without my TikTok, and that's nice, like it's a good feeling for people to be like we appreciate your work.
Speaker 1:We appreciate you showing the side of LA. Come out to this. Like I've got to try so many great restaurants, like it's a good time. So I definitely think that it's afforded me to be able to go into certain spaces and be like wow, like I wouldn't have been here without that. And I think again too, for me, because I'm just showcasing events, people are more comfortable inviting me because they know I'm not going to be trying to chop up Jay-Z about my music idea Like that's not what I'm here for.
Speaker 1:I feel that so I think it makes it takes that pressure off too, where people are like okay, she's not trying to be an actor, singer, writer model and again, no shapes. People are like you're out here for your job, your dream. Do that.
Speaker 2:Do that.
Speaker 1:Because I'm not. It's a lot easier for me to go to those events Like she's going to be chilling because she's going to promote my event. Yeah, I'm not promoting the event. That's what I'm here for. I'm getting paid to show your event off. I'm not getting paid to talk to a flip.
Speaker 3:So how do you feel about the people who come out here and do you feel like a lot of them make it in a sense, or is it just loss and false dreams and hopes?
Speaker 1:I think that people have to define what making it is for them because you know what I'm saying. Like, let's say, you want to be a successful rapper. What is this that's a rapper means to you? Is that Grammy award winning, or is that your music? You're going to pay for your music being in the background of Netflix movies. What does success look like for you? And I think, yeah, like I think people sometimes only see their dream in one way.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And it's like making money off your art is already hard enough.
Speaker 2:Facts you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Like, and of course everybody has a dream of I want to be a movie star or a Grammy artist or whatever.
Speaker 1:But it's like again, what does success look like for you? Do you want to just be able to make money from your art, or do you want to be world renowned or world known for what you do? I do think I always say this to people too and I'm like dang, like whatever I see. Like you know, older people in LA, like you know late 60s, 70s I'm like did they come out here and they were like trying to be an actress and they just stayed, or have they just always been like, you know like have they been in LA their whole life?
Speaker 1:Like what's the story.
Speaker 3:What's the story behind this?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think making it is hard. I'm like I also think people, are you ready to make it? Because we see a lot of celebrities like kind of lose it Like don't want the fame, don't.
Speaker 2:Are you ready to make it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, Okay, you're going hard, you're working, you're doing this on the third, but are you ready to live that lifestyle?
Speaker 2:Facts.
Speaker 1:Are you ready to have people in your business? Are you ready to have cameras on you all time? Are you ready for you to gain 10 pounds? And people are posting you all up and down Twitter talking about your weight.
Speaker 3:Are you ready for that? Everybody in your relationship, yeah.
Speaker 1:Are you ready for your art to be perceived as well Like people saying your album sucks. Are you ready for that? Are you ready for people to say, oh, that movie you were in was terrible?
Speaker 2:Yeah, are you?
Speaker 1:ready for that? Are you ready? I think, when it comes to making it, that's what people need to really think about.
Speaker 3:That's deep, that's deep. So another thing is, you've been here for a couple of years, this homeless problem. Yeah, how do you feel about it? Does it affect you? Do you care about it? Do you think it should deteriorate anybody from coming out here?
Speaker 1:I lived downtown, so I definitely have seen it, lived it Well, not lived it, I mean, I've seen it. I've experienced it. I used to live closer to the fashion district. Now I live closer to Staples Center. But I think it's sad and it makes me sad because I know how much money is in this city.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like, even if you watch shows like Selling Sunset.
Speaker 2:Facts.
Speaker 1:And you see people buying $30 million five bedroom homes. You know, what I mean, and I'm like dang down the street is somebody who is literally living on the street. So I think it's really, really sad. I don't think it should deter people from coming. I have gotten chased by homeless people before that time.
Speaker 3:No, Wait, wait, wait. We got to talk about that still. How did that happen? What happened I?
Speaker 1:was okay. So, like I said, I lived over by the fashion district so I used to live on 9th and Broadway. I was walking down what is that? Main Street? I was walking down Main Street. It was early but it was daylight.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 1:It was like 7am.
Speaker 3:It's like early evening.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like early 7am, and so I was going to get my hair done. The girl that was doing my hair she lived like three blocks away from me. So, I'm like it's daytime Like, even though it's super, super early in the morning. You know coffee shops are starting to open, people are walking their dogs. I should be fine. I typically don't walk down time by myself at night time.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:At all, or anytime like super early, super late.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm walking down the street and this man. I see this man like Hide him behind a tree in front of me and I'm thinking like maybe he's just mine or whatever. So I walk past the tree and he starts following me. And I'm like okay, so I stop to see if he's following me. So I stop and like start looking at my phone, waiting for him to pass me up. And then he walks past me and he like swings and I'm like yes, Okay, I was so because he, but he missed.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I'm looking down at my folks. I'm like it happened so quick. I did a process which I'm like. He just kind of hit me. Yeah, but I'm like no, that couldn't be what just happened. So then again he walked up. He hid behind another tree and was waiting for me to walk past.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So then, I crossed the street, he crossed the street with me. Then I crossed the street again. He crossed the street with me again, so then I started running.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let me get out of here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, at this point. So he starts throwing rocks at me.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:If he we're running down the street, I start. Finally, I get to the building I'm supposed to be at. I started banging on the window. Yeah, luckily one of the housekeepers for the building was there. She sees me like banging on the window. She opens the door and she's like are you okay? So we slam the door. As soon as she slammed the door, a rock like hit the window, damn yeah. That man was chasing me.
Speaker 3:real bad why he was chasing you, though I don't know.
Speaker 1:Like I didn't say anything to him. It was very random. You go, of course, tell he wasn't like in his right mind. Yeah, but it was very strange, it was very random, but yeah, it was running down the street from this homes.
Speaker 2:man it's coming in.
Speaker 1:But yeah, I think that it shouldn't deter people only because, like Wait, it was morning or evening.
Speaker 3:It was morning, morning, 7am. Okay, that's crazy.
Speaker 1:I don't think it should deter people, because you can just live somewhere where it's not as many homeless people.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Downtown Koreatown. You're going to see a lot of it, but once you get to like the West Side, like Culver City.
Speaker 2:La.
Speaker 1:Monica, even like Liderra or even kind of like Mid City, you don't see as many homeless people Nowhere near. So I'll say it's really concentrated like downtown.
Speaker 3:Koreatown. Okay yeah, okay, crazy. That's the craziest. We definitely posted that as a little real.
Speaker 1:But yes, that man chased me down the street and was throwing rocks at me and that sounds like I need to carry a knife or a tater or something.
Speaker 3:Yeah, why don't you?
Speaker 1:You should I know, and I'm just saying you need to. I do, but now I don't really walk, like I said, my building. Now I'm closer to the Staples Center. I don't really walk that much over there anyways, because my old building I used to live at Broadway Palace, my old building. That was way more like I could walk to a lot more stuff, but now I don't. So it's like I'm probably still going to get one, though I need a little something.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you do. At least a little pepper spray, right A?
Speaker 1:little something, a little something $20 on Amazon. You good to go. Yeah, I need it for sure. Yeah, facts.
Speaker 3:So dating in LA? I know you're in a relationship, so how is dating in LA for black people, black men, from your perspective? How is that? How is it? I feel like.
Speaker 1:From what you've seen at least. If you are a black man in LA and your preference is black woman, you have the pick of the litter. You are like golden out here because, realistically, a lot of black men out here are in interracial relationships or not really checking for black women.
Speaker 3:Why do you think that is?
Speaker 1:I don't know. I don't know if it's just like because it's so diverse here. And it's like, oh wow, these other women will actually date me.
Speaker 2:Like where.
Speaker 1:I'm from. They wouldn't.
Speaker 2:They wouldn't look at me, yeah, but here they will.
Speaker 1:I don't know, that's what it is. But yeah, dating as a black woman here is very interesting, especially because, too, you have to realize, like I have like a nine to five corporate job.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:A lot of people in LA are entertainers, entertainment salary dancer, singer, model actor, whatever.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:So that's another piece of it too. Like are you? I feel like a lot of artists are cool with dating artists, but it's like, if you're not an artist, are you cool with that lifestyle? Are you cool with your man being out at the club at this time trying to network and trying to do that? You know what I mean. Like, what's your vibe? Like, are you cool with that or are you not?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So I think it's very interesting. But yeah, I think if you're a black man out here, it's lit. I think if you're a black woman out here, it can get scary. You got to just get it where you live. You know what I'm saying. I always tell black women like, especially out here, you got to go in a racial girl, do it, because it's really hard.
Speaker 3:Again, I was raised in Atlanta and then, I was in school in DC, so it was no question of black men like me Like that wasn't a.
Speaker 1:You're walking down the street and somebody's trying to talk to you here. That's not happening Like you get ignored. So it's a very humbling experience.
Speaker 3:Very humbling experience. I'll say that, okay, but when you're in the community is it different vibe when it's?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I say, I personally like dead men from LA because a lot of them who are from here have grown up around the diversity. So it's like they like black girls still, and there's of course, trans people who like black girls too. But I just think it's definitely hard. I'll say, like certain events I go to where more black men try to talk to me Definitely Howard Cormier like those men are like Southern, they will talk to me.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they like black girls.
Speaker 1:You know so certain events where you go to too, it's like okay, like they trying to holla. But, for the most part it can be very like if you was going to talk to a bar. It could be a little tough.
Speaker 3:It could be a little rough. That's crazy, that's crazy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was like my girls if you got a day out of the outskirts do it because it's hard Like, and then I think online dating is future too. Like even in Atlanta, you don't really have to do that. In DC, you don't really have to do that.
Speaker 3:Florida? You don't either.
Speaker 1:Yeah, when I got here, like online dating was like how you find men? Like black women and vice versa.
Speaker 3:What apps.
Speaker 1:I'm my biggest fan of hinge. I say hinge to me is the least hook up. I think Tinder Bumble are hook up. Black crazy Like that can get wild People on black you saying anything, posting anything Like it's crazy. But yeah, I think it's hinge is my favorite. I met, like I said, I met two men from hinge and something out here and was in relationships.
Speaker 2:So, that's dope.
Speaker 3:You're corn birthing. You met him on hinge. Yep, okay, that's fine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we vibe down. I always tell people that will be safe. Like, please, please, please, be safe, do not just be out here going anywhere with anybody. Let them pick you up.
Speaker 3:No like that's, that's my biggest thing with these dating apps is like you just don't know.
Speaker 1:You don't and that's like you have to when I'm dating on the apps like I, if we're definitely meeting like public yeah, we're meeting wherever we're going and we're doing, that a couple of times before it was any like. Let's hang out at the crib. Like it's absolutely meeting in public for the first three, four days.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you got to get a vibe.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you got to get a vibe People be crazy, people be crazy, people be crazy. I met I actually met people at a. I met people at events too. So, like I met somebody at this event, what event was that? It was sweet, life's premiere party. I met somebody there one time and then continental club People be talking to you in there. So, ladies got to come into the club Sometimes too, with the deep end Like people holla at the deep end.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So, like I said, it's party sessions about to where you know like okay, they'll try to talk to me, yeah.
Speaker 3:Versus not really. Not really. Yeah, so do you feel like this is going a little left? But as a woman, is it like Is that the expectation going out, like I want men to speak to me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that it depends. I think that whatever vibe you put out is what you're going to get back, because you have completely different vibes in your single versus when you're in a relationship. You know what I mean. When you're out with your girls and you're in a relationship, you're really just vibing with your girls, like you know, if they're talking to somebody, you hold their drink, you do what you got to do, and I kind of think that's the space I'm in now, like I definitely think it's a different energy you put out 100%.
Speaker 1:But when you're single, you're looking around. You're looking at somebody looking at you, y'all making eye contact. You know what I'm saying? You're striking up conversation at the bar Like I think it's a lot more energy put into being talked to when you're single than it is Okay.
Speaker 3:I feel that, and it doesn't matter where you are, yeah.
Speaker 1:I know Like even if you're at like sports bars and stuff like the energy, like I've been to sports bar recently with my friend where my boyfriend dropped us off and picked us up and we're really just in my friend was in a relationship too.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And we're really just sitting at the bar. Yeah, exactly, we're talking to ourselves If somebody comes up to us. Well, ha ha ha, and that's it, you know what I mean, but I think when you're single is way more of a less flirt, less key, key less key, key. Like it's, different.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I think you can pick up what vibe she's put it down on sometimes, yeah, yeah, I feel like man.
Speaker 3:It's always just shooting the shot out there.
Speaker 1:But I feel like here they don't do that.
Speaker 2:They don't do that no.
Speaker 1:And I like people will just look at you and you're just like this is awkward. Are we going to say anything? I mean not like. So yeah, I feel like here. That's another thing too. I think the East Coast is a lot more aggressive. Like a lot more men will just come up to you, step to you. Hey, I think it was nice. Can we kind of to a drink, kind of get your number, whatever? Here's a lot more like you're talking to a friend of a friend and y'all are, you know, last night and then together, and then he's like oh my homie, what is your number?
Speaker 1:Can I give you two?
Speaker 3:you know that type of thing, yeah, high school shit, yeah Like.
Speaker 1:I'm not a fan, but hey.
Speaker 3:So, like a black girl in LA, what's like your final message to all the black girls in LA?
Speaker 1:Come out here, live it, love it, be confident.
Speaker 3:Like.
Speaker 1:I said, LA will humble you and it humbles a lot of people, like you know. La will humble you, so be okay. Be, okay with finding your confidence outside of what you look like. Be okay with finding your groove and finding like where you fit.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, be okay with that. Be, okay with building a community and cherish, cherish, cherish your female friendships, cherish cherish, cherish your community, yeah. I think, that's the biggest message for everybody Like, cherish your community.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Make that time to hang out with your friends. Make that time to go to that thing with your friend and you don't feel like you're like dang. I want to cancel Like no go.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because after a while you're going to cancel so many times, you're not going to have nobody else to cancel on.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so after that, that's dope. Yeah, you mentioned saying that's pretty dope. You said LA will humble you and find confidence outside of what you look like. Why do you say that? What do you mean by that?
Speaker 1:I just think that, again, like the beauty standards here are so crazy and like so high.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You very like I'm not going to say you very rarely, because you absolutely see girls with quote, unquote, regular bodies that like no surgery. You know that type of thing, but it's. The beauty standard here is so different than a lot of other places.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And like the plastic surgery here, the extensions, the makeup, like you're coming to a place where people literally get paid for what?
Speaker 3:they look like yeah.
Speaker 1:Like actresses. You know what I'm saying. Anybody in the entertainment industry pretty much and they're on camera, whether that's singing, rapping, whatever.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, dancers models like they're getting paid for what they look like, and so I've seen some of the most beautiful girls come out here and be miserable and that because they're not used to not being the prettiest in the room and I think that we have to get out of putting our value solely on what we look like. Yeah, because you will be disappointed every time. It's always going to be a better bitch. It's always going to be somebody cuter.
Speaker 2:You know what I?
Speaker 1:mean. And so I think people come out here and think like I'm a 10 and wherever I'm from, and they come here and they're not the baddest in the room anymore and they're disappointed and it's like girl, you have so much more to offer.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like you know what I mean, like you have so much more to offer, less up your scale, like, okay, you want to be a singer, you want to be an actress, you want to be a model. Let's focus on that part of it, like you're already cute.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Don't feel so discouraged because you're not the cutest in the world, you know, and there's always going to.
Speaker 3:That's deep and I think I want to end it right there. I was going to expand on it, but you just ended with a bar.