My Ex-Wife and I Get Honest — How Satan Destroyed Our Marriage

This is one of the most personal and raw episodes I’ve ever recorded.

In this episode of The Blind Exorcist, I sit down with my ex-wife Judy, and together we open up with honesty and vulnerability about what really happened in our marriage — how it slowly unraveled, the hidden spiritual warfare we didn’t recognize at the time, and how Satan worked behind the scenes to destroy what we thought would last forever.

We don’t hold anything back.

We open up about our pasts, the trauma wounds we carried into the relationship, the dysfunctional family patterns that shaped our decisions, and the doors that were opened spiritually before our marriage even began. From the outside, everything looked successful — nice home, nice cars, kids, good careers, solid members of our local church, even strong in faith — but behind closed doors, things were breaking down in ways we didn't understand.

We also talk about something that made the battle even harder — how the Western church failed us. Because we were taught that Christians couldn’t have demons, we didn’t even have a framework for what we were experiencing. The very place we expected clarity and help often left us confused, misdiagnosed, or without real answers in the middle of very real spiritual warfare.

But this isn't just a story about a marriage falling apart — it's a story about deliverance.

Through Jesus Christ, therapy, and deliverance, God met us in the middle of the destruction and brought freedom, healing, and restoration in our individual lives. Today, there’s no bitterness between us — only clarity, peace, and a restored intimacy with Christ.

If you’ve ever struggled in your marriage, dating relationship, felt stuck in destructive cycles, or wondered if things have gone too far to be redeemed, this episode will challenge you and give you hope.

What was broken doesn’t have to stay broken.

Transcript

A Birthday, A Request — and Why This Episode Matters

Justin 0:00

Here we are, my friend. Welcome back. And as always, thank you for tuning in and listening to the Blind Exorcist Podcast. I am Justin D. Your host. And yes, I am blind. It is my birthday this month, May 19th. I turned 54 years old. I'm so excited to be alive. I'm a type 1 diabetic. Got it when I was five years old, 1977. And they said I'd be lucky to live to be 40 years old. And I am 54 this year. Thank you, Jesus, for life. So I would love a birthday gift from you. Okay. So my birthday gift request is this could you rate this podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, whatever you listen to, whatever platform, if you could rate it, give it a five-star. It's my birthday, okay? This will help people find it. We hear all this all the time. All of us do, myself included. Like, oh, the algorithm, the algorithm, it'll help the algorithm. Well, it's true. So the more people that rate the podcast, more people are going to find it. And I have this out here for people to learn, be encouraged, inspired, and taught. Because you don't hear this kind of stuff in church. So thank you very much. I appreciate you for considering and thinking about leaving a review. If you don't know how to leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, just Google it. They have instructions out there. Thank you so much. We are up to episode 43. And today I am so excited. You guys know I'm excited about every guest, but this one, you ready for this? I sit down with my ex-wife, Judy. Now, think of that for a minute. Me and my ex-wife are sitting down together. No resentment, no anger, no bitterness, to share with each of you how Satan destroyed our marriage. You are not going to hear this in church. You are not going to hear this in a marriage weekend retreat. Okay. You know the blind exorcist is raw and real, baby, and this is the streets. This is the real deal. Now, me and Judy are not remarried. We have no plans of getting remarried. We're content where we're at in life as friends. So this episode really is to show the power of deliverance, counseling, and Jesus Christ's mercy, grace, and compassion in restoring two people, me and Judy, who were very, very broken. So we're very explicit. We're very raw. We're very vulnerable with each other and with you guys. We expose it all. Okay? Why would we do this? The slogan for my ministry is exposing the darkness, revealing the light. If you are in the midst of a divorce, or if you and your spouse are not getting along, and in the back of your mind you're thinking, I might need to divorce, or if you're a newly married couple, or if you're single, you are going to pick up so much information here. And if you're single, you'll have an upper hand for when you get married. If you're engaged, this is going to help you understand how Satan strategically destroys marriages. We are here to expose, challenge, inspire, motivate, change. And I pray that you get a lot out of this episode. And I would encourage you not just to listen and say, ooh, that's good, or ooh, that's great. Oh, I never thought of that. That's okay. But what I'm going to encourage you to do is begin applying what you learn in this episode to your marriage, to your relationships in general, to dating relationships. Apply it, my friend. Use it. Now let's get into this. Let's get into this. This is going to be outstanding. Everything behind the scenes exposed. You ready? Buckle up. Let's go. Judy, welcome to the blind exorcist. It's good to be here, Justin. Yes, it is. And everybody listening, I am so excited about this. And I know you are as well,

No Bitterness, No Anger — How We See Our Divorce Today

Justin 5:28

Judy. And I mentioned in the intro that we're going to step through our life and really share with all of you how Satan works behind the scenes to destroy a marriage. The good news is, and we will get into this, Jesus Christ has restored me and Judy through deliverance, through emotional healing, to where her and I are sitting here today with no resentment, no anger, no bitterness. I mean, isn't that right, Judy?

Judy 6:06

That's right. It's awesome to see where we were and where we are right now.

Justin 6:11

And if we only could have had this in the beginning, I think we would have made it, the deliverance component.

Judy 6:17

I think so too.

Justin 6:18

Yeah. It's a shame, guys, that the Western church doesn't believe that Christians can have demons. There's many reasons why marriages fail, but in our specific case, it was demons. So we're going to go ahead and step into this. I'm going to leave our microphones unmuted. So this is a more natural feel as opposed to how I normally record where someone talks, then I talk. And so we're going to do our best not to interrupt one another, but we have a lot of exciting information to share. So as everyone knows, I always start back in childhood. This is where trauma starts. This is where demons primarily enter through trauma, sexual abuse, alcoholism, drugs, abandonment, all those sorts of things, and generational curses. Okay. So I'll start, Judy, and just share a little bit with the audience about my family, and then I'll come over to you. Does that sound good? That sounds

Justin’s Workaholism and Distance — Why Intimacy Was Missing

Justin 7:23

good. Okay, so my father is German. Let's just put that on the table as a start. Okay. My grandfather was German. He spoke German. Okay. And so with German comes perfectionism, precision, and most importantly, workaholism. So if you are German, you understand exactly what I'm saying. What do we do for fun? We work. Okay. We provide. So as a child, I was trained by my father, who was ex-military as well as being German. So he's German. He went through the Navy. He was a prison guard for many years. And then he worked at the General Motors plant in Lordstown, Ohio. So this is a tough guy. Very consistent, very determined, hard, hard work ethic. Okay. So this is how I was raised. And this was how I was taught to show love was providing provision. And as many of you know, listening, provision is not the only way you show love. But in my case, this is primarily the way I was taught to show love was you work hard, you make money, and you provide. And that's the way you show love. The problem with this is that it lacks intimacy. There is no intimacy in workaholism. And when we were married, I provided a lot for Judy, and she worked too. I've mentioned before. Judy, I've told people before that you're a licensed clinical counselor, and we would spend a lot of time together through our marriage talking about clients and mental health conditions and all that kind of stuff because I'm very passionate about mental health and deliverance working together. I often share with people that's where that passion comes from your counseling, your master's degree, me and social work for a few years. But anyhow, so my father, that's just it. Eight years old, shut the cartoons off. I can remember me and my brother watching cartoons, Scooby-Doo. He opens the back door, says, it's time to work. Me and my brother were eating a bowl of cereal. We didn't say anything. We put the bowl of cereal down, we got our shoes on, and we went outside in pajamas and started raking leaves and bagging them. This is just how we were raised. So my father also was an alcoholic before he became a Christian. Unfortunately for me, he had stopped drinking before I was born. And he drank a little bit when my brother, I think he stopped when my brother was two years old, maybe a year and a half, two years old, and became a Christian. So ex-alcoholic transfers all of that addiction to workaholism, and so on it goes. Okay. So we've got that pattern. And unfortunately, in our culture, that's esteemed. So the more money you make, the better you are, the more esteemed you are, the better life you're gonna have. Okay. Problem with workaholism is you're not around, you're not fully emotionally engaged, you're not always emotionally present because you're always grinding and working. So my mother was Irish. She passed away a year ago, roughly, and she was a fireball. So my mom was, wouldn't you say, Judy?

Judy 11:04

Yes, yes, absolutely. That's a good description.

Justin 11:09

She would love you and cuss you out at the same time. She'd hug you and say, Jesus loves you and cuss you out at the same time. But she was a very compassionate woman, very fiery, Irish. Okay. So my mom taught me one thing and she taught me it very well, and that is how to fight. Because she was raised in terrible poverty, okay? Terrible poverty, eight siblings and a little three-bedroom home. She told me she can remember eating mustard sandwiches and opening a can of evaporated milk and drinking it out because that's all the food that was in the house when she was eight years old. Her parents would leave her home by herself until 11 o'clock at night. So she'd be there at eight years old, sitting on a couch with her legs up underneath her, so terrified that she couldn't even get up to go use the restroom. In that type of environment, I'm certain my mother also experienced sexual abuse. I know it's just apparent in some of the psychology that I witnessed with her. So that's just a quick snapshot. I have an older brother, and of course, him being a workaholic as I was, he's done very well. He's very successful in life, but it's not healthy. Our culture, again, esteems it because of working. So, with all that said, outside of the workaholism and outside of my mother teaching me how to fight, they were Christians. They were first generation Christians. They never broke any generational curses, they never went through deliverance. And like I've always said, at birth, I was born with demons. And through my childhood, those demons were reinforced through different dysfunctional patterns within my

Justin’s Childhood Trauma — Molested at Seven and Bound by a Blood Covenant

Justin 13:02

family. So there was no physical abuse or emotional abuse, things like that within my home, but there still was enough dysfunction to reinforce the demons that I was born with. At seven years old, as I shared on episode one of my testimony, I was molested by a neighborhood boy. I had demons transferred to me through that. At 12 years old, I was introduced to pornography. I got demons through that. The boy who molested me, we entered a blood covenant together. Back then in the day, we would cut our thumbs with a pocket knife and squeeze blood out and smear your thumbs together and make a vow to protect each other. And, you know, I got your back, you got my back. And so I'm picking these demons up, plus the generational demons in my childhood, all mixed with Christianity, all mixed with Christianity.

Judy’s Shame, Guilt, and Perfectionism — The Weight She Carried as a Child

Justin 14:01

Okay, Judy, I'm gonna come over to you now and maybe you could just share a little bit of your childhood. And after you're done with that, we'll step into our teen years a little bit.

Judy 14:10

I was saying, for me, my childhood, in the way that I recall that, I was taken to church by my parents at a very young age, three years old. It was the hippie era. And we went to a coffee house with mostly college kids. I can tell you, I have wonderful memories of this. I was raised from a very young age, that Jesus is the way, and we follow what he says. And my parents were second-generation Christians. My grandfather went to a Baptist church. My grandmother went to a Methodist church. And then my parents come along and they end up with this revival in the 70s. And they were very passionate about that. And I especially can recall the lessons that I learned as a young child, which was we don't want to disappoint God. We don't want to disappoint Jesus. And it seemed for me, it became a goal and it was maybe put on me, but it was also became a very internalized goal that I don't make any mistakes. I never really learned what forgiveness looked like because I couldn't really even acknowledge anything except for the shame that went with it. I was never allowed myself to be forgiven and I didn't forgive myself. And that was passed on from my mom. My mom carried a lot of shame and I think she wanted to prevent me from having shame. Yeah. So she wanted me to not make mistakes.

Judy’s Early Exposure to Porn — When a Sex Talk Does More Harm Than Good

Justin 15:55

Yeah, sure. Go ahead. Yeah, go for it.

Judy 15:57

Okay. So I was probably eight, third grade. A neighbor girl and I went into a neighbor's garage and we found two deck of cards that were naked pictures of men and women. And the girl threatened to beat me up if I didn't take them to school and hand them out. And I was very naive and kind of fearful of this. I was taught at a young age to be accommodating to others. You know, you talked about what love was hardworking for you. I was taught that it was to sacrifice yourself. You were to do things for other people and really just accommodate them. And so this kind of stayed with me for most of my life, but it does pertain to this because I was going to accommodate this girl anyhow because I didn't know how not to do that. And also I was afraid. So I take these decks of cards to school. I was in a very small school. My class, my third grade class alone, probably had 15 people in it. The whole school probably didn't have more than 50 people. I passed these cards out to everyone in the school, shoved them down the bus seats. Of course, the school called my parents, and my mom went to the library and taught me the lesson of sex when I was eight or nine years old. And I was okay with the clinical version of how the parts go together. But she added on in her discussion of this is that this is what married people do. I remember being mortified by this because I'm like, what dad does that to you? It was mortifying. Eight years old is different then than it is today. Eight years old in my time, I didn't even know that Santa wasn't real yet. And then I learned about sex and I wasn't ready for it. And it was traumatizing for me to recognize that this is supposed to be part of marriage. My two experiences with any sexual exposure was pornography, quickly followed by something that explained it, just a physical act and that it's done in marriage. Nothing about intimacy. And I too lack that knowledge of what intimacy is.

Justin 18:25

I think that the pattern that started with you at a very young age is guilt, shame, and perfectionism, and that you're you could never please God. You could never please your mother as an example, right? Because the standards were so high. And so there was this pattern very early on of guilt, shame, perfectionism, and then the introduction of sex as a child, eight years old, being taught the explicit details of sex, which was extremely traumatic, and from a clinical perspective, and to your point, lacked the intimacy. This is not a good starting point for anybody's sexuality, whether you're a guy or a girl. And this had drastic impact, this whole pattern throughout your life guilt, shame, serving, perfectionism, having to be perfect, prove that you're worthy and lovable. And then the idea of sex is just clinical and something you do in marriage, period.

Judy 19:41

Yes. And also when you said, like how trying to be lovable, proving that I was lovable, I was only going to be lovable if I was perfect. If I didn't make mistakes, that was impossible. So I was left with the I'm not good enough and I'll never be good enough, only lovable if I'm good enough.

Justin 20:01

Yeah, and it took you to the point where you just gave up because you could never be good enough. You could never meet the standards. And I just want to point out that this was all put in place by eight years old. So the standards that were put on you by your mother, and again, in her mind, she was just protecting you because she didn't want you to make the mistakes that she made in life. Right. But it's what people say they did the best they could, right? Like parents, they do the best they can. So we just have to take what we're given in life and work through it. But I mean, this was a very unhealthy start to your self-esteem, to your womanhood, and to sex and sexuality and body image. All of this was put in place at a very, very young age, all lacking intimacy. Yeah. Yeah. All right, let's move forward into our teenage years. Okay. Why don't you go ahead and you can start with your teenage years, and then I'll share a little bit about mine and so go for it.

Judy 21:11

Okay.

Judy’s First Sexual Relationship — Coercion, Shame, and a Mother Who Made It Worse

Justin 21:12

Tell us about your teenage years.

Judy 21:14

All right. So the teenage years. I'm striving along life, trying to make sure that everybody is accommodated for and sacrificing my own self, like ignoring my own needs or wants or values or anything because I was trying to make sure everybody else was okay. And I hit the teen years and there was a boy. And it was a very unhealthy relationship that I got myself involved with. And it was my first sexual experience. And it was not good. It was coercive. And not only was that very first time not good, it was filled with a lot of shame. Because I knew it was sin. And at this point, if you sin, am I ever forgiven? Because I knew in my head that I was forgiven, but I didn't believe it. I didn't believe that I could actually be forgiven. So, anyhow, one of the hard parts about this relationship too was that I knew that he didn't really value me based upon our interactions, but I also couldn't admit that because that was too painful. So I would lie to myself and pretend that everything was good. And we continued a sexual relationship for a year that I would actually dissociate during that time. And so obviously, that we've added some trauma to my sexual exposure. And it was so filled with shame and the sense that I had failed. And then I had to hide that, which creates more shame. My mom did find out about that. At one point, I wrote a letter to him and I left it in my room and she read it. And it had said something about it. And I made it sound like, oh, hey, I was all into this. And I would say I was met with a lack of compassion and concern for me at that time. My mom was very worried about how that reflected on her. I think she felt like a failure because I felt. So now I can't fail, not only for myself, but I can't fail because it'll be disappointing to my mom.

Justin 23:33

Okay. So let me just point out a few things here. So first of all, it was a rape because it was not consensual. You were coerced into that. And I think at this point, you were what 16, 14? 14. 14, yeah. And so you have a foundation of guilt, shame, serving. So you're serving people that makes people have the ability to not be able to say no. And the perfectionism. So this shatters all that because you're not perfect now. And you have the guilt and shame because you knew it was sin. And you didn't have a family structure to come back to to support you. No. So a proper response would have been a mother who was would hold your cheeks and look you in the eyes and say, Are you okay? I'm so sorry. Come sit down with me. Let's talk about this, right? But instead of being met in a way like this, you were met with essentially not and said in these exact words, but words, but look what you've done to me. How embarrassing. How could you do this to me? So now more guilt, more shame. You didn't meet mom's standards. It's interesting that the very thing she wanted to protect you from, the demons that you had in you gravitated you toward this man. Right. Now, you didn't know this at the time, but the guilt, the shame, all of this dysfunction within the family comes at a cost. And that cost is demons. And in Western Christianity, we're not taught that. We're just taught, go for psychological help and training, and you know this, you're a clinical counselor. In the Western church, we're not taught that this is demonic, that demons transfer through dysfunction. So by age 14, Satan has managed to destroy your self-image.

Judy 25:38

Oh, yeah. I hated myself.

Justin 25:40

Correct. And so this is your teenage years. This is your experience.

Judy 25:46

But you'd never see it. You wouldn't have never seen it on the outside. I looked like a person that had everything going fine.

Justin 25:53

And you mentioned the disassociation. I'll just touch on that. It's you weren't in this because you wanted to be the sexual thing. Right. Satan establishes an ungodly soul tie. You know that this guy doesn't even care about you. You're lying to yourself because it's so painful. Everything going on internally. And so when it came time to be with him, you would just look at the clock.

Judy 26:19

Yep. Five minutes. I gave him a time limit.

Justin 26:22

Yeah. And just disassociate. Look at the clock. Here's your five minutes. Have your fun. And again, this strips out intimacy. Terrible experience for you as a teenager.

Justin’s Teenage Trauma — Sexual Manipulation, Blindness, and Surrendering to Christ in the ICU

Justin 26:34

And I'll go ahead and transition over to mine a little bit. I was 16. I'm losing my eyesight. I'm attending a private Christian school. And that's where I first got introduced to drugs, was at the private Christian school. And I was dating a girl there who attended the Christian school. And it was the same thing. I say I was raped. And I firmly believe that a lot of people don't believe that men can be raped, but they can be through emotional manipulation, not physical restraint. Okay, and I'll explain my situation here where I'm with this girl for six months and I loved her very much. I'm 16. I'm planning to move to Florida from Ohio when I'm 18 and graduate high school. I want her to come with me. And I start losing my eyesight at age 16 from type 1 diabetes. And so this girl that I'm dating basically said, look, we've been dating for six months. I want to have sex with you. And if you won't give it to me, someone else will. Classic Jezebel move. I didn't know that at the time. So what do I do? I give in to this not girl, but Jezebel. And so I'll never forget when we had sex for the first time, I felt such a darkness come very heavy, very oppressive. And Jezebel was transferred to me through that and strengthened the possession in me from my generational curses that I had on my life that I didn't really even know about until I went through my exorcism sessions. But again, I was broken, and broken people get led by demons to broken people. I think some of you listening absolutely can relate to this. Think of all the toxic relationships you've been in, all the sexual encounters that you've been in, trauma. And demons enter through trauma. So that's what I say when I say I was raped. Because look, when you put it like that, you either have sex with me or someone else will. And I love this girl deep in my heart. I loved her. So I gave in. And oh my goodness, did the demons get in me at that point? Losing my eyesight. Doctors are telling me, don't strain when you use the toilet. Don't bend over and tie your shoes because your eyes can bleed. And I remember one time we were having an argument and she just smacked me across the face as hard as she could. And I lost eyesight from that. Not a good experience. She cheated on me with another guy. I remember falling on my knees and just rage was in me. Uncontrollable rage. Not where I'm going to murder somebody, but the growling coming out of my chest and mouth. At that time, I didn't know it was a demon. I just thought it was me being angry. The hatred of women past that. Oh, I hated women. All of them. I was a 16-year-old child, traumatized, going blind, smacked across the face, cheated on. Whew. Can it you guys relate to any of the stuff we're sharing? This is what the blind exorcist is, right? We're raw and we're real. So I got a bunch of demons through my teenage years. Judy's got a bunch of demons and trauma. Yeah, but I didn't know it. Yeah. I didn't find out till I was 19. And so at 19 years old, I was an ICU for pericarditis. My lining of my heart was inflamed. I almost died. It was bad. It was really bad. I remember the nurse smacking my cheek and telling me, stay with us, Justin, stay with us. You're not going. Stay with us. Stay with literally, like I my life was right on the line. God spares me. I wasn't serving him then because I was bitter from this girl and all this stuff and traumatized and getting drunk and smoking pot and just trying to cope with pain and the loss of my eyesight. This is crazy. And I'm in the ICU and I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ. This was at 19. Now, after I did that, a couple weeks later, I had demonic sleep paralysis and a visitation from a demon. And that's the first time I had that. I had it a few more times past that. I didn't know the demons were in me. I just thought I came to Jesus and I had a demonic attack. No one could help me. No pastors could. They thought I was crazy. Christians can't have demons, that sort of thing. And in addition to this, Judy, I never was taken to therapy for the loss of my eyesight. Now imagine this. You lose your identity at 17 years old. I went fully blind at 17. I went from this middle class white suburbanite kid to a minority nearly overnight. Who am I? Where am I going in life? What am I gonna do? Who's gonna love me? I'm blind. Never brought to therapy. My parents just said, hey, read your Bible, you'll be fine. No, no, that's not true. So deep trauma wounds. Lots of demons entered through the loss of my eyesight.

Two Broken People in Church — Why We Called It Destiny

Justin 31:56

So then I start university for a bachelor's in social work, fully loaded with demons. And you had gone for an undergrad in psych psychology, and at the time you were going for your master's in clinical counseling, loaded full of demons. Both of us, and and unresolved trauma. Absolutely. And you and I meet in this condition in church.

Judy 32:27

But we didn't know we were in that condition because we were serving the Lord by the time we meet in church.

Justin 32:33

We're serving Christ and the this whole westernized Christianity of black and white, good and bad, on fire, off fire, healed, not healed. Everything's black and white. So when you become a Christian, you're fine. Yeah. You're fine. Everyone wears happy faces, it's all lies and illusions, and they're not authentic. And so we're in this church culture in the 90s where everyone's happy, everyone's singing songs, every completely avoiding dealing with trauma and no understanding of demonization and how to go through an exorcism and get freed up at all. And this is where we met in church.

Judy 33:16

Yep.

Justin 33:18

And at the time I was a worship leader, played guitar, and had a worship team that I worked with, and we'd lead worship, and then you came up one time and we started talking.

Judy 33:30

And then we didn't stop talking for a long time.

Justin 33:34

That's right. We had a lot in common with psychology, and at the time I was a social work major. We've always been good communicators. And you would have thought with your psychological training and my psychological training, understanding communication patterns, trauma, all that stuff, we should have been able to save our marriage.

Judy 33:54

We yes, but we couldn't see it because I know for me, I was blinded to so much of that. I want to kind of talk about something that happened with me when I went through my exorcism session, which is that I mean, I've sang the songs about stronghold. I know the scripture about tearing down strongholds, but I didn't really understand what it was. This mindset that is untrue, but it is so deeply ingrained and believed. Even if you are like, No, I know I'm a child of God, I'm a child of God, but this mindset still was there. That is, but you're a failure.

Justin 34:31

Yep, you're not good enough. You had this demonic stronghold in your mind, you're serving Christ at church, and I'm sure a lot of people listening are in similar situations where you're serving Christ all you can, happy and all that, but on the inside, you've got this thought all the time that you're a failure. God will never love you. You better try harder, right? So there's all this demonization going on in your mind, in my mind. Okay, so

Sex Before Marriage — How It Opened the Door to Demonic Attack

Justin 35:00

we have all this sexual trauma. We've both been raped, we've both been introduced to pornography. We have absolutely no concept of intimacy. And I want you to be thinking about this, friend, listening. Think about this. Can you define intimacy? I want you to think about that. What is intimacy? What is that? If you're married, what is intimacy? If you're dating, what is intimacy? Okay. Me and Judy, we had no clue. Now we know now, after going through deliverance, what intimacy is, and I'll share that a little later. But be thinking about that, because it's an important part of relationships that are lacking in many marriages and in many dating relationships. So Judy and I start dating, and it wasn't too long after that we just started having sex. There was a lot of guilt and shame in that. My demons and her demons, they they liked each other, they had appetites. And yes, I'm not saying it was all demons. Our will was in play here. We could have resisted, but we're young. I mean, you were what 28, maybe? I was 25, something like that. I don't know. Somewhere around there. I mean, we were in our prime. We're we were good looking people. And Judy still is, by the way, guys and ladies, she still is. She's very attractive, very pretty girl. But anyhow, we're having all of this sex, and you say, look, we need to get married.

Judy 36:36

Yeah, because this was sin, and I didn't want to be sinning. So we you know skipped over all of why are we getting married? And it was gonna be perfect because we're both Christians. Yep, we're both moving in the same direction, serving the Lord. We wanted the same things for the future, or so we thought.

Justin 36:58

Yeah.

Judy 36:58

And it was just gonna be perfect, right?

Justin 37:01

Not realizing that we've opened the entire marriage up to a curse because we've had sex. We started the foundation of our marriage in, here's the key word, the kingdom of darkness. That gave Satan a legal right to influence our marriage in many ways. And repentance is not the same as renouncement. We created a legal binding contract in the spirit realm with Satan by having sex before marriage. Okay? He's got legal right to be there in the marriage. Lord forgive us for sitting and having sex before marriage. That deals with our personal sin and it's forgiven. Romans 8 clearly states that confess your sins, and he's faithful and just to forgive you of them and to cleanse you from all unrighteousness. Fine. Our personal sin was dealt with, but that does not dissolve legal contracts in the spirit realm. Those only are dissolved through renouncement. We never did that. We're both loaded full of demons, right? And we're both Christians. We both love Jesus Christ with our whole heart, and we're going to have this fabulous Christian marriage. We're so happy. We get married. We're in the middle of school, she's in the middle of her master's, I'm in the middle of graduating with a computer programming degree, and we're just gonna have a great marriage.

Judy 38:31

And I interrupt, yeah. I wanted to say something because it just occurred to me. Before we got married, remember I went through a deliverance.

Justin 38:42

Let me clarify that for the listeners because they're familiar. It was deliverance light. She broke soul ties, and that was it. But it was helpful.

Judy 38:50

The broke soul ties, and there was also some freedom with the anorexia. Let me just say this, knowing what I went through recently versus what I went through there, and that was incredible. That was very necessary, and there was some life-changing aspects from that. Renouncing soul ties was fantastic, but even the thing with the anorexia, these demons that I had that I didn't know that I could have because I was a Christian, they worked early on for me. And then not just sexually, but with my self-worth, you know, believing these lies. That was a big problem because you don't address what you don't think is there. I know that I had the Holy Spirit, but I can also 100% tell you that I had demons and I didn't know it and I wouldn't have believed it.

Justin 39:44

Yeah. And here's the thing swinging back to the anorexia, this is gonna be helpful for anybody that's dealt with that. This really centers around you not being good enough. You're never going to be good enough, you're not perfect enough, the shame, the guilt. You were how old when this started? In your teens, right? I was probably 16. Here you have a spirit of death that's trying to kill you. And certainly the family dynamics between you and your mother factored into this. So everything's not demons, but they're involved here. That's my point. It's I've always said this from the first episode: freedom comes through both therapy and deliverance. It can't simply be one and not the other for most people. Okay. So I remember I was driving with your mom, she was bringing me back from work, and she brought up the anorexia and she said to me, Can you believe that the therapist told me that my daughter's anorexic and I had a lot to do with it? Can you believe that he would blame me? And of course, inside I'm thinking, yeah, because I knew all your story, but I didn't say anything. I just sat silent. And but the inability to recognize in the family that she had anything to do with it, that's a big deal because that means that it was all your fault. And again, this goes back to look what you've done to me.

Judy 41:17

I did learn to take on responsibility for everything that was wrong. Even now, even when you say this, when you're talking about it, there's this part of me that wants to defend my mom and say she doesn't know. We can't really talk about demons because it causes something in her to rise up. And once you really look at it, it's a generational line. It wasn't something that she did to me.

Justin 41:46

Correct.

Judy 41:47

This is long ago, and it Yeah, it's generational, absolutely. Once you see that, once you see it's wow, something happened a long time ago, and it has nothing to do with me. All you want to do is break it. Why am I having to carry what my ancestors did? Right.

Justin 42:04

Yeah.

Freemasonry, Miscarriage, and the Illusion of Our “Perfect” Christian Marriage

Justin 42:05

And also to mention that your grandfather was a Freemason.

Judy 42:10

Both of them, both of my grandfathers.

Justin 42:12

Wow, I didn't know your other one was. Okay, so we have strong Freemasonry in the bloodline, and with that comes a lot of mental health conditions, mental torment, accidents, and death. These are just common symptoms of being under a curse of Freemasonry. And we get married and we have all this going on, but outwardly, we've got the beautiful home, we've got the swimming pool, we've got the eight-passenger SUV for the kids and four kids. The four kids. And I want to mention this. We were a success story, Justin. Oh, absolutely. In our church, we were looked at as the prize couple. We were just so esteemed. I was a teacher, I taught Sunday school classes, I taught adult classes, I would teach from the pulpit to the congregation Sunday evenings. I was a worship leader, and Judy was just as involved in the church as well with me. We were a couple. And so, anyhow, we're married and we were deacons. Let's not forget that. Oh, yeah, we were deacons too. Absolutely. Possessed deacons. Okay, so wait, I want to share this about Freemasonry. I was thinking of this the other day. You had a miscarriage, very common with Freemasonry curses. And we lost a baby at 23 weeks. Very common with Freemasonry curses. Yeah.

Judy 43:52

All of them then.

Justin 43:53

And so after that, all of our children were very high risk, and we had to you were on bed rest and everything. But my point. The point is that's very common in Freemasonry. I did not know that. Had I known that, we could have renounced that and broke that off of you and in your womb. And who knows, it might have worked out a lot better. Maybe you wouldn't have had to be on bed rest with the kids. Right. So, but anyhow, so we're this prize couple. In the meantime, I am working full-time, 40 to 60 hour weeks, getting as much overtime as I can as a computer programmer. And in addition to that, I own a software company of my own. And that software company had a global market. I don't remember how many countries it was in. And my workaholism was just off the charts.

Judy 44:42

Yes, it was.

Justin 44:44

Everyone's in bed, and I'm up at 3:34 in the morning on my second pot of coffee, just grinding nonstop. And why was I doing that? Two reasons. Three, actually. One, I was taught it by my father. That's what good men do, they provide. Second, unresolved trauma, the loss of my eyesight, the rape, the betrayal, the bleeding trauma wounds drove the pain. This was my way of relieving pain. Because when I was in workaholism, I didn't have to feel it. And then second to that, the demons. I'm sorry, third. This makes sense that you're gonna, I've mentioned this forever on this show that when you have unresolved trauma, you're going to try to self-medicate that in some way, whether that's drugs, alcohol, in my case, workaholism, you're gonna try to self-medicate that. So I got my own office, own computer, making all kinds of money, buying all this stuff for my kids for my wife. You work too. It wasn't that you didn't work, but you know, you didn't work as much as me.

Judy 45:47

No. No.

When Our “Perfect” Christian Marriage Begins to Collapse

Justin 45:49

So we were living a very good, successful life. And in the meantime, in the midst of all of this outward success, the smiles, the four children, the deacons, we're dying. Our marriage is literally dying from the inside out.

Judy 46:07

And you know what? With that, when I'm just thinking about this now, I got to say that, and this sounds terrible, but this is this would be the truth. I reached a point where I didn't even care that it was dying. Then there were times where I did, but let me just go along with this one, where I was responding from my own trauma place to this distance with us. And it you get to the point of saying, why try? And nothing is working here. And I would say that would have been something based on the lies that I was believing at that time, too. But it was just there's nothing I can do more. There's nothing I can do different, and it's too much

Judy’s Suicide Lie — What Satan Told Her on the Deck

Judy 46:54

work.

Justin 46:54

And tell them about what you what the devil put your head out on the deck when we're watching the kids ride around on their bikes and we're swimming and having fun. You're sitting on the deck, and what'd the devil tell you?

Judy 47:06

So I was, yeah, I was watching the kids play and they were giggling, and I felt nothing. It was like nothing. And I realized this nothingness. It so it was depression, but I had the thought that if I had to stay married to you, I would kill myself. And then the kids wouldn't have a mom because I couldn't do it.

Justin 47:32

Hey, thanks for the compliment.

Judy 47:35

Sorry. It wasn't it's not directed at you.

Justin 47:38

For the record, there wasn't any physical abuse, emotional abuse in the marriage, nothing like that, no drugs, no alcoholism.

Judy 47:47

No, this was a lot that was entering. See, you were talking about the workaholism and how you were fighting your things.

Justin 47:55

Yeah.

Judy 47:55

And I was, you were numbing yourself. And at the same time, this was pushing against my own trauma, which was that. So I've said that I had to accommodate other people and I had to serve other people, but I never, so my needs weren't being met, and I felt like I didn't matter at all. I was invisible except for the work that I did. And I know that there are a lot of people, females out there that will relate to this, and maybe men too. Because it wasn't about me, it was about what I could do, and that could be replaced from anyone.

Justin’s Workaholism Revisited — The Wall That Kept Growing Between Us

Justin 48:37

Let me just jump in here and say the whole time you're feeling basically not needed, avoided, of no consequence, just hey, I could have any woman sitting in this house, right? This is your mindset. I don't matter to him, right? It could be Sally, Jennifer, Francine. It don't matter to this guy. Here's the thing, though, on my end, what's interesting is because I was providing this goes back to what I was taught as a child, that I am loving you, right? I am providing a great life that most women would have died for to have. And so on my end, I'm thinking I'm doing a great job. Now, this all goes back to isolation and separation. This is what Satan's doing here in our marriage, slowly over time. Isolation, emotional isolation, physical separation. Eventually we started sleeping in our own beds because of the children and you needing to nurse them and we're working and all that, right? It was a practical, but we never did come back together in our beds once the kids were at a certain age. So we were in survival mode. I get it, right? But more isolation, more separation. And then in the midst of that, you've got all this demonic chatter going on in your head, and I've got all kinds of demonic chatter going on in my head.

What Intimacy Really Is — and Why We Didn’t Understand It Until Deliverance

Justin 50:07

So there, and again, I just want to point out to the audience absolutely no intimacy in our marriage whatsoever. Right. When we had sex, it was clinical, or it was just lust-driven. There was no intimacy. We didn't know what it was.

Judy 50:23

And I would say most it was not intimate for sure. I mean, no, it was not.

Justin 50:28

And here's what I would say to most people listening: if you can't define intimacy, you probably don't know what it is, and you probably don't have it in your relationship. Judy and I are just now coming into that because we went through the exorcism and understand that the intimacy is spiritual and it comes from God.

Judy 50:51

Yes.

Justin 50:52

It's not about, and I'm gonna be explicit here, it's not about laced panties and sex and all heated. That's just sex. That's not intimacy. Okay, there's time and a place for that, guys. Don't get me wrong, but I'm just saying that's not intimate. Intimacy is when you can drop all of your walls, all of your protection, and become fully emotionally naked and vulnerable with your partner, both you and him, the woman and man, come together not just physically naked, but emotionally, and that that is intimacy, the trust to be able to love somebody deep enough to be willing to let all of those walls come down, to connect with someone beyond physical pleasure, to connect with someone at such a deep emotional level, unhindered from walls and defense, that it actually becomes spiritual. We didn't have that.

Judy 52:01

No, we didn't have that, and what we didn't know was that it was being prevented. Obviously, the enemy wants to destroy marriages, and so the idea with that is he has an easier job in some ways because as Christians, we're not aware of the hindrances for connection and for intimacy. We might have some head knowledge of this is what we can do to connect and take this vacation and spend some time together. But actual intimacy, where that starts, is with God. And if you haven't, I say this to everybody, if you have not experienced this, you have no idea what you're missing. I've been a Christian for most of my life. I had some times where I strayed and I had some times where I was just blatantly sinning and doing my own thing. But for most of my life, I've been a Christian and I have never had intimacy like I have now, since being freed from the demons that I was that were in me, and I didn't know it. And what that is, that's the willingness to share everything. I don't have to hide from him anymore.

Justin 53:10

Amen.

Judy 53:11

I never did, I just didn't know it. I think really relate to Adam and Eve in the garden covering themselves up.

Justin 53:17

Oh, yeah, I think we all can, honestly, myself included. But I think it's important what you're saying. If you can't be intimate with God, if you can't be a hundred percent open and vulnerable with your creator, how are you going to be that way with your partner?

Judy 53:34

I don't think it's possible.

Justin 53:35

It's not. And so that's why I encourage you guys listening. If you are married, get into this whole intimacy concept. And how can you let your walls down? Judy mentioned it. Number one, deliverance, but number two, going for therapy and working through your trauma. In my case, I went to therapy. I don't remember what I was 48, 49. I turned 54 this month, guys, May 19th.

Judy 54:05

I didn't know you went to therapy.

Justin 54:06

Oh, I did, yeah. After deliverance, I went for therapy for eight months.

Judy 54:11

Good for you.

Justin 54:12

Yeah, it was awesome. And so I worked through the loss of my eyesight. I worked through our divorce. I just anything that I knew was off, I worked through. And that is what you have to do,

The Lens You Don’t See — How Unhealed Trauma Shaped Our Lives

Justin 54:26

really. The Holy Spirit heals us, right? A therapist doesn't heal us, right? But they help us process through the trauma and hold our hand as we walk through with the Holy Spirit and explore it and get healed up so that we're not feeling the need to protect ourselves. Because I mentioned this in the prior episode, Judy, I equated our survival techniques to a picture frame. So we're all living our life through a frame and we develop coping mechanisms that we live our life through. And if your frame is rejection and you're always feeling rejected, and everybody rejects you, and you have this anxiety loop of rejection of how someone didn't say hi to you, and it's just rejection. There's all everyone lives their life through some sort of picture frame. Right. Anger, rage, whatever, depress, whatever. Okay, so you get the point here. But anyhow, if you're living your life through that frame and this example of rejection, then it's gonna be very challenging for you to be intimate because you have to be willing to let that go because you're not healed. And in order to have intimacy, you have to be healed. That's my personal opinion. Feel free to differ. I think in order for you to have that intimacy where you can drop all of your guard, all of your emotional walls, your protection from all the pain and hurts you've had in life, where you could drop all of that and be emotionally naked and vulnerable with your partner. It just makes sense that you have to be healed first. And most people in life, for some weird reason, they find it more comfortable to keep that picture frame of rejection rather than going through the change. It scares them, but they never have peace.

Judy 56:15

I use a different term, lens, like the lens that they're looking through, which is the same thing, your picture frame. They don't even know that's the lens they're using. They're unaware. You have to know these things in order to be really connected to someone.

Justin 56:31

Yeah, and that comes through time with the Lord, reading his word so he can illuminate things within you. Like, hey, Justin, you're gonna want to deal with this bitterness. You know, I'm reading the Bible, and it's like, hey, Jesus says, if you don't forgive others their trespasses, I'm not gonna forgive you. And the Holy Spirit reveals to me I'm holding bitterness against someone. This is a start. A lot of people don't ever read their Bible, or they just absently listen to it on the way to work, or yeah, I'm just sharing this with everyone listening, just as encouragement on how do you start getting into this where you can get rid of this lens. If you don't know you're living your life through a lens of rejection, I like that. That's much better in picture framing. That's why you're the therapist and I'm not. But anyhow, if you don't know what a lens is, the Holy Spirit will show you what yours is. And that's why we spend time in the Word on our own, so He can teach us in prayer by spending that time with him. So back.

Judy 57:29

I kind of want to jump in and say one thing here. Sure. About lens has nothing necessarily to do with what we're talking, but I want to, I just feel led to to say this. A lot of times it's not our own lens, and sometimes it's the people that are around us. So, like we they see us through a lens, and that lens is not the same lens that Jesus sees us through.

Justin 57:56

Amen.

Judy 57:57

And so the idea though is we'll take that on and say, Hey, I want to prove to you that I am not the person that you see, but you can't change their lens. You can just not receive it because that's not God's lens.

Justin 58:11

Amen. And why waste the energy trying to prove that you're not their lens?

Judy 58:16

But again, a lot of it is unawareness. It's if anybody's ever been in a situation where it's if you think, we'll take a work example. If you think that I'm not a good worker, I'm gonna just work harder. Here's the thing: if you're a good worker, you are a good worker. Someone else coming through that maybe is just super critical and is looking for the negative, they will find the next thing to be critical about. You don't have to take that on. You can have a discussion with it if you want to, but sometimes that doesn't even change anything.

Justin 58:46

That was good. Thank you, Judy.

When Marriage Becomes a Business — Bills, Kids, and Silence

Justin 58:48

Let's swing back to the marriage here. So the marriage is slowly falling apart over time, and we're just in really a business partnership, is what I would call it, in our marriage. We're paying bills, we're buying groceries, we're raising kids, there's no intimacy whatsoever.

Judy 59:05

No, we weren't even talking, really.

Justin 59:07

Yeah, very low. About the kids, just about about the kids and things like that. Yeah. And don't you think there's many people that live this way?

Judy 59:16

Yeah.

Justin 59:17

It's nothing but a business relationship because there's no intimacy. And here's the real reason trauma wounds that aren't healed, and demons. We're speaking from personal experience. That's why we're here today to share our lives with each of you as encouragement, food for thought. We want to see you guys make it. We want to see you make it. If you're dating and thinking about engagement, hopefully you hear this and you're inspired by it. And if you're married and your marriage is on to fritz, hopefully you're inspired by it. This all makes sense, especially if you've been married multiple times. What Judy and I are sharing with you will make a lot of sense and fill into pieces. So our marriage is slowly disintegrating.

After the Divorce — Justin’s Descent into Alcohol, Buddhism, Rage, and Collapse

Justin 1:00:06

And eventually we sit down on a couch and you're like, I want a divorce. And I'm just going to shorten this so we can get post-divorce. But basically, I was like, Let's work on it. You were like, I don't want to. And we were like, okay, fine, we're going to get divorced. And so you left the marriage, I left the marriage.

Judy 1:00:27

But we'd left long before.

Justin 1:00:29

Long before that. And I remember sitting outside in a chair, and I was smoking cigarettes because at this point I was so traumatized, Satan really did a number on me. The first thing I asked you to do, Judy, was go get me a fifth of vodka on your way home from work. You remember that?

Judy 1:00:49

I don't.

Justin 1:00:50

Yeah. I'm like, pick me up a fifth of vodka on your way home from work.

Judy 1:00:54

Did I?

Justin 1:00:55

Yeah. So I just start drinking right away because I'm trying to numb the pain.

Judy 1:01:01

Right.

Justin 1:01:02

And I'm outside smoking cigarettes, sitting on the side of the house. You and the kids are inside. And I was so full of rage and anger and bitterness, I remember saying, and I'll never forget this, God, my wife has left me, and my church has left me. Because the church wasn't really very helpful to either of us going through this. And I said, So what's the point of serving you? And when I said that, I felt demons enter me. I tangibly felt. And past that point, my behavior was very rage-filled, anger-filled. And I remember this one time we were in the hallway, and I was yelling at you, and you were looking at me, and you said, I'll never forget this. You probably don't remember this. Who are you?

Judy 1:01:54

Oh, no, I don't remember.

Justin 1:01:55

Yeah, you said, who are you? And you weren't meaning human. Oh. You said, Who are you? Because you are not my husband. And I'll never forget that because inside of me, I could feel this thing twitching, aggravated that you called it out, you could see it. And it could have just been something you seen in my eyes, or I don't know. I just know the damage was done. My possession deepened tenfold, and you had left, you had gone with another guy, and you were married to him for how long?

Judy 1:02:38

Eight years.

Justin 1:02:39

And during the probably the five years of that marriage, I was nothing but a chronic alcoholic. I drank a gallon of Captain Morgan rum a week, completely functional. No one knew. I met all of my employee goals. I got bonuses, I got awards, employee of the year awards type stuff. No one knew, and that's what made it even more dangerous. And so I slowly was killing my kidneys over time. Had no clue. And Satan was behind all of this. It was bad. And so I actually got into Buddhism for those five years. I studied Buddhism, trying to find peace. It was Therophoto Buddhism, Thailand Forest tradition. I really was into this for five years. I had to get deliverance from this. Trying to find peace, mindfulness meditation, breath work, body work, trying to make the pain go away, trying to heal myself through Buddhism. This is how merciful Jesus

Justin’s Kidney Failure and Surrender — The Moment His Deliverance Began

Justin 1:03:45

is. So eventually my kidneys fail and I drop to my knees and I said, God, I am dying. I have failed you, and I am loaded full of demons. Okay. Just loaded. And so I'm like, God, I failed you. But if you can help me, I will do what you've called me to do, which was deliverance ministry. I don't think I ever shared this with you, but when I was seven years old, a traveling minister at a church spoke to me and said, God is going to use you to bring emotional healing and deliverance to many people. This is when I was seven. I had no clue what it meant. Wow. So I'm praying to the Lord on my knees. I'm sobbing because I'm going to die. And I'm only 48 years old. And I said, if you can heal my kidneys or bring me a donor, I will serve you. I repent of all this sin, but I need help. I have demons. I knew I had demons at that point because of them coming into me when I was outside the house. I just knew it. And I was having visitations from them during these five years and this sort of stuff. And so I said, But I have demons. I I but I don't know how to get rid of them. No one can help me. No pastor can help me. Because I tried when I was 19 and had that first sleep paralysis. I went to two pastors and they were like, hey, Christians can have demons. And the one was like, maybe you had too much pizza before you went to bed and laughed. They were absolutely clueless. So I'm telling God this at 48. Man, no one can help me. God help me. How can I get rid of these demons? And the name Bob Larson came in my mind. Never heard of this guy since I was 19. I'm 48 years old. I stood up and I was like, Bob Larson, there's no way that dude's alive. So I get on my computer, I Google him, and it's not only is Bob Larson alive, but he's an exorcist and he does exorcism over Zoom. I pulled out my credit card, booked two sessions, and two days later, I'm on with Larson. He's in Arizona and I'm in Ohio. And that started weeks of exorcism sessions to free me from really the root of it goes back to the generational curses. Do you point Judy that were even before my parents in the forgiveness and all the just all the things I'd been involved in my life. My present day sins weren't anything crazy, but mine was mostly generational. But as I got freed up, that's when my Christianity started.

Judy’s Deliverance — Dropping the Mask and Letting God In

Justin 1:06:22

That's the best way I could define it. Okay, so let's come over to you. So we separate, you're married, it eventually ends.

Judy 1:06:31

I'm not sure really what to add.

Justin 1:06:33

Rob tell us a little bit what brought you to the point of realizing you had demons and that you wanted to get an exorcism? Because you mentioned to me humility was key for you. You humbled yourself. You were very big on this when you told me about it. And for the record as you were going through this divorce with this the new husband we met for an exorcism session didn't we? Two two sessions Judy and I did guys this was because I had no bitterness resentment or anger in my heart toward her. The Lord had healed me and I knew that there was the Freemasonry from the grandfather and I wanted to clean that up and get that off my kids. And really the Lord was drawing Judy back to intimacy with him to really just to bring you back. And so I think that was a stepping stone. There was eventually though you go to so an exorcist a female exorcist to work with her.

Judy 1:07:37

So how I got to that point I had a client who was asking me about that. My mom's talking to me about generational curses. Do you know anything about that? And it got me thinking I was like oh generational curses. I want to say this I was opposed to the term exorcism.

Justin 1:07:57

Mostar.

Judy 1:07:59

And so for that it's kind of because it sounds a little crazy right.

Justin 1:08:04

People equate that to Catholicism like the exorcist movie and all of that.

Judy 1:08:09

But yeah I didn't ever saw the movie but it was just it sounds so extreme. And I'm thinking here's me living a Christian life I don't need an exorcism but so my wheels got to turn and when this client was asking me about it and I'm like I want to meet with this lady. And I said it maybe under the guise of I want to see what this is about so that I would know if I would even ever suggest it to anyone. It took a month or six weeks to get our schedules lined up.

Justin 1:08:40

Now when you say this lady you mean the female exorcist that you met with yes got it.

Judy 1:08:45

Okay. And so when I was being prepared in that six weeks for this part of that came from our son who said with his experience you really have to be humble with this. And some of it might be embarrassing but you have to push through that. And it was the first time in my life that I could say maybe not the first time but the most significant time that I could say I'm not going to hide behind this mask of perfection. I'm letting all of this come out. I'm not carrying it anymore. I'm not holding it and I'm just going to be real and so with that even that part was preparing me for my sessions. I didn't need to hide. I refused to hide. Let's put it that way.

Justin 1:09:32

Yeah and you were desperate.

Judy 1:09:35

Yeah I was desperate and I didn't know I was desperate. I wasn't actually miserable I was in a pretty good place but little did I know that good place is nothing compared to being set free.

Justin 1:09:48

And there it is right there because I think most Christians feel that they're fine because they're used to living demonized and they just think it's normal life but you have experienced a really deeper profound Christianity after your exorcism is that right yes I have a relationship with Jesus now that I have never experienced before I know his love.

Judy 1:10:19

This is important on my end it might not be for other people but I never thought that I should get anything because I supposed to give I supposed to be the server and the one who gives other people and what he's showing me every day is that I am his daughter and he wants to give good things to me and I don't mean just money wisdom and peace and joy and favor. And he shows me this every day and it just fills me with how much he loves me. I never knew that God desires to give good things to his children so much.

Justin 1:11:00

And he wants us to receive yes and the thing is is the reason you couldn't feel all of that inside of you because the demons were blocking it. Exactly I may have mentioned this before on the show but it's like you've been born again because when the demons are removed you can feel the spirit of God I tell people it's like I walked around for years with black clouds over the top of my head and here and there they would part and the sun would hit my head and that would be me feeling the Holy Spirit and feeling that peace and that joy but then the clouds would cover over again clouds meaning demons and when the demons were expelled then the sunshine was just on my head all the time. So I could feel that joy I could feel the peace. And so Christians that have a good life Christians we had a great life Judy we just we really did. But we didn't right and I think if people are honest with themselves there are people who have this down where they have intimacy down they have a great marriage they're partners they're doing great unfortunately we didn't and I think there's many married couples that don't have it down or dating couples right and so the key really to all of this and this is proof that deliverance works you're listening to my ex-wife and me laughing sharing deep personal things about being vulnerable with each other even. Yeah being vulnerable with each other that's because this is what deliverance brought this is what the hand of Jesus Christ brought deliverance is a healing ministry it's not necessarily about casting out demons it's a healing ministry. So now Judy can feel the Lord much more closely and so can I and there's healing in just that alone. I'm hoping that you guys listening have got a lot out of this of us sharing this with you and hopefully you're identifying with some of what we're saying and not only identifying but saying we're going to fix this. We're going to get deliverance we're going to go through this and get rid of these demons so we can begin to establish intimacy in our relationship. You got to get them trauma wounds healed through therapy got to go through exorcism slash deliverance get rid of those demons so that you can be healed up to be intimate because you have to be able to go before God and drop all the walls of be intimate there in order to really be intimate with that partner. And Judy you have that intimacy with God now don't you I do and it's exciting it's very exciting.

Judy 1:13:57

Every day is exciting I can't wait to see what's next.

Justin 1:14:01

Exactly and I feel the same because when you have this deep intimate connection with God because intimacy is spiritual it's not physical.

Judy 1:14:10

Right.

Justin 1:14:11

And that's why you and I never had it in our marriage because ours was nothing but physical right so anyhow I think we've shared enough here to give people food for thought and if you know a married couple that's struggling text this to them right now. Text them this episode tell them to check it out. If you know an engaged couple or anybody that's dating text this to them there is a lot here for them to gain by listening to this episode.

Final Words — Why You Should Stop Waiting and Seek Deliverance

Justin 1:14:47

And at the end of every episode I always have my guest share words of encouragement to the audience as to why they should consider getting a deliverance so I'm going to ask you Judy you're very compassionate you bring years of experience as a therapist and so you've been through deliverance yourself later in life as for me as well in your own words encourage the audience here why should somebody consider getting an exorcism I would say overall that without deliverance you don't really experience the fullness of Christ and you don't know what you're missing because the things are blocked off. And I will also say that a lot of people will take care of what's the present day sins and entry points but generationally those are very powerful because they built up over time and they have a negative impact on your life that you're not aware of and you'll see freedom when you're delivered from those awesome thank you very much and I'll just share a closing thought on this too why should you consider a deliverance so that you can be restored to who God truly intended you to be and so the real you for most of us the real person is not out in life through trauma through abuse rejection pain we hide parts of ourselves and we put up a front this is who we are and we've had to do that to survive and we're not well we're functional we look well on the outside I did Judy did but deliverance gives you the courage to begin to live the authentic you and let that out in life that's only one benefit because deliverance removes all the crazy yeah it really does it moves all the chatter out of your head and when that's gone you can think more clearly you can hear the Spirit of God more clearly you understand the Bible more clearly and you begin to heal and begin to walk into the person that Jesus Christ truly intended you to be so that's my encouragement for you guys. I appreciate you listening. This has been great I hope you guys have got a lot out of it. Judy thank you for coming on the show and doing this with me.

Judy 1:17:37

Oh you're welcome I enjoyed it