Gila Pfeffer: Humor Writer and Breast Cancer Prevention Advocate

Writer, humorist, previvor, survivor, and breast cancer prevention advocate Gila Pfeffer joins Leah for a thoughtful, funny, and deeply honest conversation about loss, resilience, and finding humor in the most unlikely situations.

Gila talks about her memoir, Nearly Departed: Adventures in Loss, Cancer, and Other Inconveniences, how humor can be a survival tool during cancer treatment, and her cheeky Feel It on the First campaign that raises awareness of breast cancer screenings and risk reduction. Gila shares her experiences from undergoing a risk-reducing double mastectomy as a BRCA+ previvor to becoming a cancer survivor who is a powerful voice in breast cancer awareness. 

This wide-ranging interview moves between generations—Gila’s experience as a daughter watching her mother go through cancer, and later as a mother facing her own diagnosis—highlighting the power of storytelling to help us make sense of what feels impossible. Honest, insightful, and refreshingly human, this episode is for anyone navigating cancer.

Follow Gila on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/gilapfeffer/

Subscribe to her Substack 

Send your Feel It On the First pictures to Gila! gilawrites@gmail.com

Things mentioned in this episode:

Read Gila’s first publication in McSweeney’s An Open Letter to Tiffany & Co. About Their Advertising Campaign for the Ring That Helps Women Remember They Survived Cancer

The Tyrer-Cuzick Risk Calculator

Koning-Vera, compression-free mammography

Eleonora Deplinsky, MD Gynecologic medical oncologist  https://www.instagram.com/drteplinsky

Robyn Roth, MD breast radiologist 

Transcript

[00:00:00] Gila: So when I say risk reducing double mastectomy, people know what that is largely because of Angelina. When I said it, people thought I was off my banana boat because it just wasn't a done thing. 

[00:00:11] Tina (2): I'm Dr. Tina Kaczor, and as Leah likes to say, I'm the science y one. 

[00:00:16] Leah: And I'm Dr. Leia Sherman, and I'm the cancer insider. 

[00:00:19] Tina (2): And we're two naturopathic doctors who practice integrative cancer care. 

[00:00:23] Leah: But we're not your doctors. 

[00:00:25] Tina (2): This is for education, entertainment, and informational purposes only. 

[00:00:30] Leah: Do not apply any of this information without first speaking to your doctor.

[00:00:34] Tina (2): The views and opinions expressed on this podcast by the hosts and their guests are solely their own. 

[00:00:40] Leah: Welcome to the Cancer Pod.

[00:00:49] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: Most people go to extremes to avoid talking about cancer. Gila Peffer wrote a whole book about it. Writer and humorist. Gila Peffer is a survivor, a survivor, and a breast cancer prevention advocate. Her award-winning memoir nearly departed adventures and loss cancer and other inconveniences is both hilarious and heartbreaking.

It turns the unthinkable into something deeply funny, totally honest and very hopeful. Gil's writing has appeared in The New York Times, the New Yorker. Oprah daily today.com and McSweeney's her Instagram series, feel It On The First, uses cheeky photos to remind women to prioritize their breast health and do their monthly self checks.

From her experience as a BRCA one gene mutation carrier, she's become passionate about genetic testing and risk profile assessment. She's a mom to four grown and flown kids who reluctantly admit she's cool. She lives in New York City and London, and she is here with me today. Welcome to the Cancer Pod.

[00:01:54] Gila: Thank you so much for having me. That was the best intro I've ever had in my whole entire life.

[00:01:59] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: Oh, coming from a, a writer that is an honor. Oh my gosh. Thank you.

[00:02:05] Gila: be transcribing that when this episode airs and I'll be using it. So thank you for the free work.

[00:02:13] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: I'll you an for that. Um, so, hi, um, I have no idea how to start now.

[00:02:22] Gila: Um, yeah, well I think we could just get into it. I

[00:02:25] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: Yeah,

[00:02:25] Gila: the reason we dunno how to start is because now we're, we're suddenly formal and we just had like a 15 minute informal conversation about, you know, just life in general and the fact that we are both self designated or self-described analog

[00:02:39] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: that is right. That is right. We are, I know. As soon as I always feel like I'm the frog from, um, the cartoons, like as soon as the camera goes on, I'm just like.

[00:02:48] Gila: And only, only Gen Xers analog girls will understand that reference,

[00:02:52] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: That's right. I might, I might, I'll, I'll just put

[00:02:55] Gila: and it just sits there not doing anything. And then of course it is a star of sound and, you know, stage and screen when the cameras are off.

[00:03:02] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: That's right. Hello my honey. That thing

[00:03:05] Gila: I love that frog.

[00:03:07] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: I did too,

[00:03:08] Gila: I, I wrote about this.

He, his name came up in a humor piece I wrote once, but I had to like research what his name was. I think it's like something middle initial frog. I'm gonna, I'm gonna look it up and email it to you.

[00:03:20] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: you know, I think I looked it up. We, we were at Disney. Was it Disney? I was somewhere, wherever he's from. He's not Disney. He's Warner Brothers. Anyways, I was somewhere and I looked him up. There you go. Yeah. So I, I used to know it too, but

[00:03:34] Gila: But I know exactly what you're talking about. All we're saying is that a lot of good stuff happened off mic and off screen, but we're gonna make up for that by bringing stuff right now.

[00:03:43] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: that's right.

[00:03:44] Gila: Okay.

[00:03:44] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: That's right. And speaking of better stuff, actually, it's not better stuff. Um, it's equally as good stuff. I, in preparation for this, I read your Mc Sweeney's article.

[00:03:55] Gila: Ah, my

[00:03:56] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: Oh my God, that is so good. Is it? I loved it. Okay, so, um, Gila wrote an article, article a story.

[00:04:05] Gila: It's, it's in there, in this case it's called an, it's an open letter. So it's based on something factual, like, I didn't make it up, but it's, it's an imagined letter that I'll never send. Two, take it away. Aya.

[00:04:17] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: It's an open letter to Tiffany and Company about their advertising campaign for the Ring that helps women remember they survived cancer.

[00:04:26] Gila: Yes. hard to remember when you went through cancer. It's easy to forget.

[00:04:31] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: Yeah. All those scars.

[00:04:33] Gila: Where'd these come from?

[00:04:35] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: I don't know, it's, it's like when you like bump your knee and you're like, there's a bruise, and you're like, where did that come from? Where did these scars come from?

[00:04:42] Gila: exactly like bumping your knee and forgetting that you, that you did that. I

[00:04:47] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: Yeah.

[00:04:47] Gila: um, the entire oncology world needs to understand that going forward. yeah, that, that article, I mean, that, that piece was, it's a piece of satire. And of course it's a mixed Sweeney, which indicates that it's, um, satire or humor because that's, uh, satire and humor publication.

But I was inspired to write that when this ad just popped up in my feed. You know, we get these random ads and you ignore them, ignore them, ignore them. And this thing just popped up in, I forgot which social media feed it, I felt something inside and I couldn't identify what it was. But I took a screenshot of that ad.

It was simply an ad of Tiffany's logo. It was a hand with a ring and the copy read exactly as you, you know, described from the piece, uh, the ring that helps women remember they survived cancer. Now I did, I have a, an English literature and marketing background. That's what my, what my degree is in. I did work in marketing, so I understand that this was just bad copy.

That much was clear to me. Someone hastily wrote this, didn't read it out loud and say, Hmm, I wonder how the consumer might read this. But it definitely, you know, the way my at everything brain works, I said, this is gonna be something. Took a screenshot, put it aside, and it just kept churning in my head.

I think it took me six months until I finally understood what I wanted to do with it, and it just poured out of me like this letter of mock. you know, basically just laughing at the fact that why would a woman ever need a ring or anything to the, the wording was to remind her that she survived cancer.

It wasn't to celebrate that she survived it.

[00:06:26] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: Right.

[00:06:26] Gila: to mark a milestone. It was just ridiculous phrasing. And so, of course I wrote this piece that I revisit every year in October. I love it because it's so pure and so true and it really resonates. I get a lot of feedback on that still. I think I wrote that four years ago.

But there's just something, it's a perfect storm of, um, you know, pink washing and something corporate, you know, wanting to do the right thing, but being a little bit misguided and just, just getting the message wrong. So that was my way of taking back my power and making people laugh in the process.

[00:06:59] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: What they need is a ring to help women. Forget

[00:07:03] Gila: Yes, like in

[00:07:06] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: if you're listening.

[00:07:07] Gila: black, like that wand

[00:07:08] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: Yeah, exactly. Yeah, maybe. Maybe Cartier needs to do that.

[00:07:13] Gila: You can pitch that. I'm not gonna steal that idea because that's not the kind of person I am, but I will help you market it when it comes out. For

[00:07:19] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: Okay, thank you. Because I really need help with marketing. I appreciate that.

[00:07:22] Gila: need t-shirts that say Analog girl, and now we need a ring that helps us forget things.

Okay. I'm making a list. I

[00:07:32] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: Perfect. So in your book, which I loved,

[00:07:38] Gila: thank you

[00:07:39] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: um, you, your humor shines through and I dunno how to say this. So, having been raised Jewish myself, there is this innate humor that Jews tend to have,

[00:07:56] Gila: for sure.

[00:07:57] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: and it's a little dark.

[00:08:00] Gila: That's how we roll.

[00:08:01] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: It's how we roll. And so I was cracking up reading your book, but I know that some people, like when I make jokes like they don't know how to react, like, were you afraid people wouldn't know how to react to a book about cancer being funny?

[00:08:21] Gila: That's such an interesting question, and for all the interviews I've done, no one's ever asked me that before, so gimme a second to think about it.

[00:08:27] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: Okay.

[00:08:28] Gila: Um, I think that I was not a, I was not afraid of that, but I was aware that that might be the case with some readers. Um, I'm very aware of the fact and remind other people of the fact that different people process, adversity and challenge and grief and trauma differently.

So while my go-to and my whole family's go-to, um, technique and tactic is humor, other people feel that that could be. Irreverent or, you know, inappropriate. Um, I wasn't about it because I, I kind of, worked really hard and really long on the title and the subtitle, and my hope was to convey that this is a book about difficult things written with a lot of humor. Um, but I am very of the fact that there are women who are going through or have been through breast breast cancer who, you know, may see things differently. Um, I've had women reach out and say, Hey, I really want to read your book, but I'm in the throes of it now. I can't read it right now. It's on my night table and I'll get back to it.

And they have written to me a year later to say, I, I read it after the fact and thank you for making me laugh. It was great. I worked really hard with my editor to get the, the tone and the balance right, meaning I didn't wanna be to flip like cancer a lull. Am I right? 'cause that's not, that's not the kind of humor I'm going for.

Like, I'm not brushing it off. This is very serious. You know, my mother died of cancer, her mother died of cancer. My father died of cancer. Like, you know, that's not funny. But I can't change that fact pattern. What I can, uh, manage and control is my reaction to it. And so I worked hard to balance the tone between, um, poignant and serious and respectful and also humorous.

So the, the type of humor that I aim for, and I hope I achieve this, and based on the feedback I've gotten, I think I have, is you're kind of taken on this. Journey. and it's a very, it's measured. If I had to rip out all the pages and make a pile of serious and, and fun or lighthearted, I like to think that the piles would be equal. Um, so while I wasn't using like a measuring cup to do that, I was aware of when things were getting too heavy or aware when things were getting too light. And, I, I think that in doing that by, you know, the book's been out, um, o over a year now. I think that what I have achieved is the people looking for humor, got what they wanted, the people looking for. Uh, you know, a somber, serious tone got what they wanted. And each group also got maybe, um, a piece of the other category that they didn't know that they were looking for.

How's that for an impromptu answer?

[00:11:16] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: I, uh, yeah,

[00:11:17] Gila: I was not posed earlier.

[00:11:20] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: yeah. I did, I did not prep you on these questions, obviously. Um, because there, there are parts that are very serious. The first one that comes to mind is when your mom, the way she told you that she had cancer is, I mean, it's bor. It's borderlines absurd.

[00:11:46] Gila: Yes, the truth, the truth is definitely, uh, more entertaining and funnier and sometimes more heartbreaking than fiction. And, um, that's kind of where the book opens. You know, after I get through the prologue of doing my favorite thing, which is filling out intake forms at doctor's offices, um, the book opens when I'm 18 and about to board, a plane Israel for, a second year of like a, a second gap year of study. And you know, of course I don't address ages zero to 18 where I take you through my, you know, teenage hood and why I was so excited to get out of the house and spread my wings and, you know, new life who this. um, essentially as I'm about to board the plane after this whole goodbye with my family, I'm the oldest of five kids.

My siblings were there, my dad was there, and then my leaves, uh, to, to take the other kids to back to the car. And my mom who in re in retrospect, when I was thinking about it and I was trying to recall moment in, in writing the book, I was and noticing how, you know, you can tell when someone's got something on their mind and she was just being more agitated or more, uh, shifty than would, would be typical. And as I'm getting ready board, she blurts out. I think I might have breast cancer, you know, now in my mind this is going back. 30 plus no more. She's gone 31 years, so we're talking about 33 or 34 years ago. Obviously, you know, our memories shift and warp and I'm thinking she held a megaphone up and the whole airport heard it. Um, the, that probably didn't happen, but we were far away enough that she would've had to have said it loudly enough that, you know, it was quite a public display. And I understand now, after years of thinking about it and becoming a mom myself, that she was just in anguish and, you know, she was in pain and she didn't know the right moment to tell me and probably wanted to pull me aside so many times before that moment.

But that's when it came out. Um, so for me as a writer that became, you know, a really. Thrilling and interesting opening for a memoir and I think said a lot about, and my reaction was I looked at her, didn't know what to say, turns under my heel and just boarded the plane. Um, and that was an opportunity for me to tell, a story where you get a sense of the, my mom's turbulent mindset and her, her inability reasons that become clear later in the book to, um, know how to approach this horrible news that she may or may not having to face. And my 18 year old's instinct to, you know, not like in the movies, drop my bags and say, I'm not getting on that plane. I'm gonna stay and take care of you. You know, that's the Hollywood moment. And I didn't do that. Um, you know, and that was hard to write. I had to. I had to paint a very honest and unflattering picture of myself.

So when people say, what was the hardest part writing this book, they assume I'm, I'm gonna say, oh, revisiting all the painful memories. And it wasn't because I processed those. It was having to show the imperfect, flawed part of my younger self who is doing her best. And so, you know, the way, the way she, she told me, and even the way we spoke about it in the, the two years where she was going through treatments, um, and the way my household just, you know, all, all the tough times we went through, not only with her being. Sick and, you know, from the cancer, but from the treatment, um, and the financial difficulties we had, which of course fed even more into how bad things were, it very much informed my choices many years later in terms of how I related to my kids and how much I wanted to shield them. They were much younger than I was at the time that my mom was diagnosed. But you know, the book is kind of like a mirror image. It's in two parts. The first half is this is what happened to me in my life and how I lost my parents, and how they dealt with their medical issues and their communication. And the second half is my response to that. It's me, empowering myself to make other choices, even though I was facing the same type of challenges, almost literally. I very much took what happened, you know, my experience with them made me sort of flip. The way I dealt with it. And, you know, in the end of the book, I, I, I thank her for that. I thank her, you know, wherever she is, I hope she can see what I've written. But I thank her for everything that she did and went through.

And our interactions, um, for better or for worse, allowed me to make what I think are, are better decisions. 

[00:16:48] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: one thing that you did different was not sharing with your very young children what you were going through. And then by the end of the book things, I don't wanna give it away, but you know, like,

[00:17:01] Gila: okay. My,

[00:17:02] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: like,

[00:17:03] Gila: know.

[00:17:04] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: yeah. Oh, I, oh, I know that. Yeah. No, I know they know now. But like, I mean, you put on quite a show, to have to like, take care of yourself during that time.

And then also, not only like, literally take care of your kids, but take, you know, protect your children from what you, you were going through. That's a lot.

[00:17:30] Gila: it is a lot. But I also have to say, um, it saved me. And what I mean by that is, you know, at the time of my, and you know, we haven't even addressed, and I think it's important here for me to say that my breast cancer was not your sort of classic. I found a lump. I went to check it out. We biopsied it, it's cancer and it wasn't, I was in the changing room trying on a bathing suit and I saw a shadow or a sliver and I went to my doctor. It was me being very aware of my family history. And it was me being hypervigilant from a young age about breast cancer, um, going to specialists, doing self exams, um, you know, getting my first mammogram at 30. It was very much on my radar and I understood, having lost my mom when she was 42, her mom was 49, you know, without any knowledge of genetics or even before there was the internet.

I'm like, this thing's coming from me, I better do something about it. So, when I ultimately decided at the age of 34 to have a, well, at the time we called them preventative double mastectomies. Now we refer to them as risk reducing double mastectomies. And this was in an age, this was five years before Angelina Jolie it a thing.

So when I say risk reducing double mastectomy, people know what that is largely because of Angelina. When I said it, people thought I was off my banana boat because it just wasn't a done thing. And, You know, that coming and, and I'm sorry for the longer answer to your shorter question, but I think it's important to set up the fact that I chose to undergo this, you know, very invasive surgery with a reconstruction from my stomach, fat and muscle, it was gonna keep me out of commission for about six weeks. Um, you know, I found the language to describe to my little kids what was happening, not through the lens of breast cancer, but through the lens of keeping mommy healthy. They were 1, 3, 5, and seven years old and all they really cared about was, you know, is mom gonna be around for bed and bath time? Or isn't she, is mom making us dinner or isn't she, like, just, I was just their mom. And so the way I explained it was, um, mommy's having surgery on her tummy because, you know, that's where the reconstruction was coming from. And frankly, that's was, was eye level for them anyway, so it was easier for them, for me to. Describe tummy, then get into, you know, breasts and what that means in terms of my health. I'm, I'm having surgery on my tummy to keep me healthy. And they had no further questions because God bless me with kids who were happy to just skip along and get on with it. And it was when, um, that preventative surgery revealed early, but aggressive cancer already growing in one breast, that it became more of a, um, okay, what are we gonna say now?

Do we have to say anything? Um, because I did end up needing, um, we did a node dissection in my armpit and they said, oh my God, there's micro metastases. Like, you really caught this as it was happening. I went on to have eight rounds of preventative chemotherapy and then my ovaries out at 35. You know, all of which is exactly as, as much fun as it sounds like. in terms of protecting them, you know. of course I had my own experience with my mom very much baked into my DNA where I, I, you know, every instinct in me was, how do I shield my kids from this? How do I prevent them from feeling the feelings that come along with knowing that your mom is sick? Um, I wasn't sick. I had already had the cancer taken out, and all of the treatment afterward was very much preventative. So I didn't feel good about having to, there's, you know, probably lots of books where you, they tell you how to talk to kids about, you know, using kid friendly language

about scans and what we're looking for and all, all the difficult conversations.

And I thought, I don't have to have those conversations. my husband and I decided together at my insistence that we not tell them about this cancer part. They, you know, what's the difference between recovering for six weeks or. months, you know,

[00:21:42] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: For

[00:21:42] Gila: as they're distracted with play dates and sleepovers and presents.

And I could be around when I needed to be. Um, you know, the chemo days were crap and I had lots of support, but other days I prioritized keeping things normal at home and, and being, you know, their mom and their primary caregiver. The, uh, acting, as you mentioned, the challenge came in where, unfortunately, you know, breast cancer, chemotherapy, at least the kind of breast cancer I had with the nasty side effect of hair loss.

And there was really no way around it. cold capping was around, but I don't think it was as done and it sounded very unappealing to me.

[00:22:23] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: like a brain freeze. It's basically like, from what I understand, it's like it's a brain freeze. For like,

[00:22:30] Gila: painful

[00:22:31] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: yeah.

[00:22:31] Gila: it's not even a hundred percent guaranteed. And I just thought, I don't need one more thing. To one more. Uh, you knows I don't need more suffering, and I thought it would be easier to just shave my head off, get a wig and a hat and whatever. But the challenge was gonna be keeping it from my kids. I was very driven by shielding them from any unnecessary, as I determined it to be, pain, trauma, fear, where I could control it. And what that did for me was two things. Number one, it meant that I only had to carry my own frustrations and and fear if there was any, which was hard enough to carry.

I didn't have to carry theirs as well. I wasn't answering that, you know, would be normal for kids to ask if they knew what was really going on. And so I was able to protect myself and preserve my energy, to use for. Tending to them. what it also did was it gave me a lot. It, it filled, it filled pretty much every waking hour of my day and distracted me from the hell that I was going through.

Instead, I was constantly, as you say, I was in acting mode. I was character acting for, you know, eight straight months playing the part of a healthy mom who has a, full head of hair. And that meant going to sleep, wearing a beret when they came in the middle of the night and saw me sleeping in a beret.

Did they ask questions? They did not, but I had answers. Ready? Oh, I'm very cold. I'm taking medicine that makes my head cold. I showered in a shower cap because kids like to burst into the bathroom while you're showering. Um, I stuffed my, my wig in the back of my closet every night so that they wouldn't stumble across it. and what I wore a lot were hats and scarves over the wig to hide the unnatural hairline and. You know, not only did it, did it allow me to get through that time without having to have conversations that I would've found, know, even more draining. And I really wanted to avoid, but it, it, it gave me a full-time job.

My full-time job was, everything's fine. Nothing to see here. And yes, as you mentioned there, I, I did intend to tell them I, this wasn't gonna be a secret I kept for forever. This was for their protection and my, my sanity. And I did end up, end up telling them not to ruin the, you know, very moving moment in the book.

But I did tell them 10 years later, uh, for, for a specific reason, I was going to give a keynote address at a, a breast cancer event. And I was getting on a plane to go there, and I just thought, probably a good time to mention where I'm going and why. And I pulled each of them aside separately and told them, and, you know, thank all those conversations were. Everything I could have dreamed of and more in their reactions were amazing. But my choice, and I wanna say this, uh, to your listeners as well, it was my choice to keep this from my kids. And I thought it was in their best interest and in mine. But I have to say that that is a very personal decision. And there are women and families who, could, would take a very different approach.

And that's completely valid. This is not the right way or the only way. This was the way that worked for us. And looking back, I can say that I absolutely made the right decision and I'm glad that I used so much energy to keep up my, my rouse.

[00:25:49] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: And the fact that you had the energy going through treatment, I mean, come on.

[00:25:55] Gila: You know, we dig deep.

[00:25:58] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: Yeah.

[00:25:59] Gila: Listen, I had the, I had the energy because the, the flip side of that would've been the energy. That energy would've been, would've been expended otherwise on answering questions and maybe. Holding their fears

[00:26:13] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: Right, right.

[00:26:15] Gila: who want, you know, anyone who's a parent out there knows that we already carry our kids' worries and fears with us.

You know, was less exhausting to be constantly aware of my appearance and that included filling in my eyebrows, wearing eyeliner to, you know, for the lash line. It took a lot less energy than it would have carry their fear, worry, and concern around what's going on with mom.

[00:26:44] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: Yeah, I can absolutely see that. Absolutely. I, I don't have children, um, but 

 I did have a mother who lost her husband, my father, just months prior to my being diagnosed.

And then I ha I have, I still have a husband who really knew nothing about the cancer world other than his family's history of cancer, you know, and seeing his grandfather and, you know, things being scary and that sort of thing. And so I understand what you're saying by like holding these fears and I do, I feel like I held my husband and my mother's fears.

Trying to protect them until one day I just, I was experiencing a lot of pain with one of my chemos and just breaking down, you know, in the kitchen, just like, and my husband had to carry me back to the bed, the, the bedroom so I could lay down. 'cause I was just, I, I just lost it. Like, that's hard,

[00:27:41] Gila: Yeah,

[00:27:41] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: you know?

So I, I, I, I, now I completely understand like why you would do something, um.

[00:27:47] Gila: energy. I don't know if people think about emotional energy as much as, physical energy, like sure. Treatment is, you're going through chemo, radiation, uh, Tamoxifen, Arimidex, l Lupron, these all come with physical side effects. But, for me personally, it's easier to power through, physical adversity than emotional adversity.

I find that the emotional and mental toll, um, is much more draining. So when you have to put things in order of what's, you know, easiest to hardest, I'm, I'm going to through the, the, the physical part, which by the way, um, can be of masked or carried by system. So my friends in. Family and neighbors stepped in to help when I didn't have the physical capacity to do something, but there's not much they could do maybe to help me shoulder the emotional load.

Like that's, that's inside me. No one's gonna carry my, my kids and even my husband's mental and emotional, pain or worry. So if I'm, you know what I mean, like that, that's going to, that's gonna take up more of me. So you understand. Um, and again, you know, you said something earlier about Jewish people turning to humor and dark humor. it is a great coping mechanism. It is a great tradition. We have, I know Viktor Frankl, writes about that in, man's Search For Meaning, which I, I don't know if anyone's read that, but it, you know, he's writing from about his experience in the concentration camps during the Holocaust. Not about the camps themselves, but about what allowed people to go on what gave. These people, four of whom were my grandparents, all of whom survived the concentration camps, all of whom had, you know, a number of TAed on their arm. what gave them the will to wake up the next day and the next day and the next day. And he writes about the power of humor and cracking jokes.

They had, they would crack these, you know, deeply dark, awful jokes. And he said that one of, one of the signs that would indicate to him and his fellow inmates, um, that someone wasn't doing well was when they lost their humor or when they weren't responding to the typical jokes. And that was the time that the, the inmates would try to rally around that person and lift them up again.

I mean, you, we cannot imagine. that could have been like, not knowing what the end is with, with chemo and radiation and all that. Like, we had an end date, you know, they told you you're gonna start on this date and finish on that date, and then you'll ring the bell and have a party. Um, so humor is very important.

It's paramount to survival for me on a micro, and, but for our people, on a macro, for everyone really, I

[00:30:32] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: Yeah. Yeah. And there is some sort of a, a genetic imprint I think for us in that. Like, I remember my grandfather when I was little, I thought like, oh, he's so mean, but he wasn't mean. It was sarcasm, you know? Like I didn't get it. I was like so little. But then like, then I inherited that, you know, apparently.

And

[00:30:54] Gila: sarcasm is our superpower.

[00:30:56] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: yeah.

[00:30:57] Gila: I, I love it. I, I think I wrote, I wrote a joke on one of the platforms somewhere. Uh, superpower is my friends. Don't know if I'm being sarcastic or serious, or something along those lines. And it's, you know, it's, it's, it's fun. Yeah. It can, it shouldn't come off as mean. I can understand how as a child you might've thought that, but if we don't laugh, we cry.

[00:31:20] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: Yeah. And that's, and that kind of explains, at least for me and for you going through cancer treatment, you know?

[00:31:28] Gila: are we gonna do? My grandfather used to, you know, he would tell the story of him coming to the US after

[00:31:35] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: Yeah.

[00:31:36] Gila: after he'd been liberated and the hell that he went through, and he would tell the story about how, you know, he was from Poland he said. He started at some kind of hat selling business, and I'm gonna do the accent here.

And I was, I was selling hats and everybody was wearing hats. This must have been, I guess the 1950s. He goes, and then John F. Kennedy was the president and he didn't wear a hat. And everyone stopped wearing hats. And this is the line we say in our family all the time, and what should I do? Could I, I'm not that baby. And he went and figured something else out. He started selling, zippers and buttons and some, some other trimmings, you know, but we think about that a lot. Like, what should I do? Cry? I'm not a baby now. Crying is important. It's an emotional release. I'm not here to say crying is not important or good. It is, but it's more, you can cry and then get on with it, or you can cry while getting on with it.

Or you can cry and laugh at the same time. you know, that's, that's what I try to do and that's what I try to be. And I try to make space for the full range of emotions doing what I have to do. 'cause ultimately. No matter what my reaction was, I was doing what I had to do. I was going for screenings, I had my surgery, I had my treatment. Um, you know, I, I, I asked my oncologist early on, I said, before treatment, before chemo, I said, well, you've already taken the cancer out. My breast tissue is gone and you've gotten any nodal involvement out. What if I didn't have chemo? And she said, you could probably walk out of here today, not have chemo, never come back again and be fine, which sounded great to me. but you know, my husband who's like a data loving guy, was kind of looking at me like, this doesn't sound like a good idea. the point is, I did go through the chemo because I understood that I'd already come this far my in, in the spirit of being preventative. Why would I leave any. Door unlocked. I wanted to, you know, seal every possible entry point. And so with, with whatever my reaction was, I was still doing what I, I had to do. I still got through it. And I think that that's an important takeaway is, you know, react, how you're going to react as long as you're doing what you have to do. I wasn't, I wasn't letting my emotions steer me away from the practicalities of, taking medical advice and doing even, you know, the worst treatment that I set out to avoid. Um, I still did it.

[00:34:06] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: But there are times in the book where you are hard on yourself because you did everything. You went for your screenings, you were on high alert and you were still diagnosed. And so like there are a couple times in the book where you are just like, I did everything. You know, like, why am I going through this?

[00:34:27] Gila: it was annoying, inconvenient to borrow, to borrow a word from my subtitle. I mean, I don't think I was being hard on myself. I think I was just sort of shaking my fist at the universe going, did everything right. You know, I used to liken it to a castle and, you know, I put a moat around my castle and I put a drawbridge that I kept up and I put around the castle and I put crocodiles in the moat or alligators.

I don't know what goes in moats around castles, but I, I installed this, you know, what I thought was a, was a foolproof, invasion proof security system. And then somehow the enemy I was trying to keep. Out, tunneled up under the water, like sort of shot through my, you know, I picture myself at sort of a fireside, medieval reading room in this castle where I would've spent my, you know, royal days wearing a fabulous velvet gown with big sleeves. But it, it, it still found a way in. And I was really angry about that because I had done everything right. I really had listened to what the article said, and I exercised and I breastfed, which, you know, is, is one, uh, thing that's advised. To women in the general population to, you know, keep the ducts clear. Um, but ultimately I learned that genetics are genetics and it's great that I did everything right and that was an Im, it was important for me to know that I left no stone unturned. So the opposite of what you said, I couldn't be hard on myself. I couldn't blame myself because I did everything right. But boy, was I pissed off when I found out about that diagnosis. 

[00:36:12] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: But, but like the doctor said, you saved your own life because of your hypervigilance.

[00:36:18] Gila: Yep. I sure did. you know, my mom was diagnosed at 40 and though her diagnosis was quite late stage, um, in my mind, I just thought 35 was, was my cutoff. 35 was when, you know, that's a five year window of time to play with. So I thought if I. finished having kids before 35 and did any preventative surgery before 35, I'd be, well, well ahead of the timeline. but I guess what I didn't understand or know about cancer and genetics is it's not as neat and tidy as that. It's not an exact science like that. And I don't know how long it had been living in her before her diagnosis. So listen, all we can do is our best and I'm really grateful. I'm grateful to be living in a time when I have these options available to me. I'm grateful to have a supportive spouse who never once said, that surgery sounds crazy. He said, do do whatever you have to do to stay with us and you know, to, to, to be in our lives. And, you know, not. find yourself in the same situation that you and your four younger siblings were in. grateful to live in a time of genetic testing and lots of information, and I can take advantage of that.

But, you know, this thing still happened to me and, it's a cautionary tale and I use that. I could keep it to myself, which would be a valid choice, and plenty of people who go through something similar do that. But I need to make meaning of it and write a book about it and shout it from the rooftops and do my feel it on the first campaign.

 that's how I make sense of it. And, and keep it top of mind.

[00:38:04] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: Okay, so let, let's talk about that, the, your, your breast cancer advocacy and feel it on the first.

[00:38:10] Gila: Let's,

[00:38:11] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: So, um, this is where I'm gonna insert pictures.

[00:38:14] Gila: oh, cool.

[00:38:15] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: Yeah, yeah. That's, that's the fun part about video. So if you're listening to this, um, go watch it on video and you could see some of the pictures or just go to G'S Instagram, especially around the first.

 So how did that come about?

[00:38:27] Gila: So I think I've been doing my feel it on the first campaign for, it's gotta be seven years now and I can't even remember, I cannot re remember what first me to do it. Um, well, I set out to be a breast cancer prevention advocate, not immediately after, um, the surgery and the treatment and, and whatever. a couple months after I finished all of the breast cancer treatment, my family and I moved to London for my husband's job. So that was always on the radar, you know, also while going through treatment and. my kids from knowing what was going on. A lot of my energy went to getting ready for this big move to London, you know, what school are they going to, what items do I have to buy to put into the 40 foot container?

So I had a lot of good distractions I always knew that I would want to share my story in some forum and talk about it. But, you know, it took a few years to kind of settle into our new lives in London and learn how to drive on the other side of the street and all those kinds of things. And the fact that they say Cor Jett instead of zucchini when I first got there, I'm like, they don't even have zucchini here. Yes, they do. They just call it something else. So, you know, it was learning, learning all that, and this desire to share my story and to make it count for something and to inspire others to, take more precautions and be more vigilant, eating at me. What I did do was I was from day one involved with an organization called sha sheret.org. Uh, and that means chain or link in Hebrew. Um, I'd gone to high school with the founder, who unfortunately, uh, we just marked her 10 year anniversary of her passing, but she started this organization which supported, young women in the fight against breast cancer, specifically young, because a lot of the organizations out there at the time focused on, uh, you know, women in their sixties and seventies and women in their twenties, thirties and forties have a very different set of needs when it comes to, breast cancer support. So I was involved as a volunteer. Um, so in that sense, like I wasn't out there. I didn't have a story to tell yet other than that my mom and her mom had died. So I, I knew it mattered to me. But when I was, uh, getting ready for surgery, I leaned on them for support. their culture. I share it because their core program is, is a link program where they'll pair you up with somebody who's been through something similar to you and has come out through, come out the other side, um, similar to you, meaning your age bracket, your, uh, where you are in life.

You know, I was a young mom of four and so I wanted to speak to somebody who was sort of young and a, a, a parent and understood those particular needs. You know, if you are 38 and single, don't wanna speak to somebody who's like me necessarily because the, the, the practical implications are different. Um, so I leaned on them for that. And I think that, you know, as my story kept changing, I needed different kind of support from them. but eventually. Down the line. Um, I was invited along with one of my sisters to speak at their annual fundraiser, and by then I'd become comfortable with telling my story.

The story of, everything right. I was preventative, I had screening. I knew my family history, I had genetic testing and found I was BRCA one positive, had a preventative surgery, and I saved my own life in doing that. That was kind of the story. And I think it was around that time that I started, writing more publicly.

I started a blog, which is now defunct. Don't even worry about it. And, um, I just knew that I wanted to start connecting with an audience beyond my immediate and circle. So when I finally started a public Instagram account, which now is at Keila Effer, I don't even remember where I thought of the phrase, feel it on the first.

I did not invent that hashtag because when I went to use the hashtag, it was already there. It was not very populated at the time. But, so I wanna be clear that I did not, you know, can't take credit for inventing it, but I sure do. Lean into it. And I just started posting a photo every first of the month of me holding up two spherical ish objects to my chest. the idea being that every month Gila f shows up holding two basketballs or two lemons, or 2D doles for Hanukkah two donuts. one year, two years ago, I was in Miami Beach and I sand into two big mounds in front of me, and I like laid down in front of them and hugged them to my chest and made my daughter take a picture. Um, I haven't run out of ideas yet, but I've never repeated an image. And the idea was that I would use. Humor, tongue in cheek, you know, something that brings the temperature down when it comes to talking about breast cancer, with the hashtag Feel it on the first. And I use it as an opportunity to remind women to not only do a self exam every month, which is very important, but to see where they are in the screening process.

Um, I have a friend who called me a couple weeks ago to say, oh my God, I think they found something in my mammogram and I could kick myself because I thought I was on schedule for my mammograms, but I realized I skipped a year. Right? So time moves very quickly and it's very easy to think that had your screening last year when, oops, it's been three years. So in these monthly reminders, I say, have you spoken to your doctor? When was your last screening? What kind of screening do you need? Know your risk. There are ways of of assessing your risk. There's something called the, I think the Ty Tyra Cusik Method. And I can give you the link, uh, to share in the show notes where you kind of in some information about yourself and understand basically what your risk level is.

And it's not that you're gonna go make medical decisions on that basis, but it's a jumping off point for a conversation with your doctor about, how high is your risk? And I, I think it's important to point out that no one has zero risk. You know, with breasts is at risk for breast cancer,

family history or not genetics, or not.

This friend who called me had no family history, no genetics. She's actually, so in the process of finding out right now, I don't even know that story ends actually, but she knew to turn to me for support because I'm the breast cancer lady and I'm always going to say the right thing and not say the wrong thing, but feel it on the first is a campaign that I run the first, but also throughout the rest of the month, um, which is a fun and not scary way of remembering to prioritize breast health.

And I have to say that over the years I thought, oh, people are probably tired of seeing these posts. Maybe I'll just stop, you know, end this thing. And just when I'm thinking that get another DM or email, which I frequently get a woman saying, you know, I just wanna tell you that because of your posts. Um, I remember to check myself and I found something and I went to my doctor and often they'll say. it turned out to be nothing amazing. But sometimes they'll say it turned out to be something and we're waiting for results. And I encourage them to, I don't know who these people are, but please follow up with me and let me know how that turned out. And they will always write back and either say, God it was nothing. It was, you know, we were worried, but now it's nothing. Or they'll say, guess what? We caught it early. I'm going to have chemo. Here's a picture of me going to surgery. Here's, you know, here's a selfie of me in my gown. Um, and it's amazing how they're coming to me from a place of empowerment.

They're not saying, oh my God, I'm freaking out. They're saying, because of your posts. I checked myself, we found something earlier, and now we're treating it. And while I'm not Angelina Jolie and I'm not reaching people in their millions, um, one person at a time is plenty for me because there's a concept of when you save one life, you save a whole world. And if sharing my story. Or a hilarious picture of me holding up two, you know, steering wheels or bicycle tires. You know, I'll use anything as a prop. There's pumpkins all over New York. I stop, I pick them up, I make some stranger on the street, take a picture of me. I don't care. Because it gets people thinking about, you know, breast cancer more than they would, otherwise.

And I'm really proud of that advocacy work. and another way I know it's working is I have been the fortunate recipient of, I don't even know how many photos that people send me from all over the world saying, I saw this and thought of you, and it's like two puffy clouds in the sky, or, saw this in thought of you.

And it's like their coffee that their barista made with, you know, two sort of milk swirls side by side, or I saw this in thought of you. And it's like their breakfast table after the kids ate breakfast. And it's two cereal bowls and you know. What I realize and what I think they're realizing is that a way to deliver an important message without being, fearmongering and fire and brimstone, you know, without, I don't wanna say I tricked them into thinking about breast cancer, but I, uh, found, I found a more palatable route in there. And if that leads them to take action, that will ultimately, save their, their lives or someone else they know, then what more could I possibly want? So that's my feel it on the first campaign. And I hope that anyone listening will send me pictures of two marbles that fell onto the floor. I don't know.

[00:48:17] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: And it's, it's using your marketing skills for, uh, for good.

[00:48:21] Gila: Yeah, I mean, once you start, you won't be able to stop. Whenever I speak to an audience, um, I say, when you leave here, you will see boobs everywhere you go. And they do. Once it's on your radar, on your radar.

[00:48:34] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: Well, I have two round lights right in front of me, so you know, I got two. They're not boob lights, but you know.

[00:48:39] Gila: matter. I'm telling you. It's, it's everywhere. The signs are there and you know, we, we schedule dental checkups and we schedule eye checkups and we schedule, uh, inspections for our cars. You know, we understand the importance of preventative care in many other aspects of our lives, but when it comes to, breast health, which it, you know, it's, it's just, it's another part of our, our bodies.

Um, either it's something that we just either don't want to think about, or maybe it's like this, you know, if you, if you don't take care of your eyes, it's very clear what's going to happen. You could run into a vision problem or, or something else. If you don't take care of your teeth. Um, again, we understand very clearly. What the damage is there. I think with other parts of the body and, and other organs. Maybe we're not thinking of the immediate, uh, backlash to what happens if we don't stay on top of it.

Um,

[00:49:39] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: I think, I think a lot of people, and myself included, even though I had worked in oncology is that thought of, well, I don't have breast cancer in my family.

[00:49:48] Gila: yeah.

[00:49:48] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: You know, like, let's skip. Or the misconceptions that, oh, mammograms cause breast cancer or, or.

[00:49:54] Gila: that's just not true.

[00:49:56] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: It, you know, but that's still out there, you know, being on social media is just, it's a nightmare because you, you see all of this,

[00:50:03] Gila: Yeah.

[00:50:03] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: then I also see women saying, I'm going in for my first mammogram and I'm afraid it's gonna be painful.

You know, so there is that around, you know, that fear of is it gonna hurt? Is it gonna cause whatever, you know, myth is out there, you know, so, so there is a lot around it, and I think it's just dispelling those myths and it, it can be painful. What I usually do is I comment and I'm like, try avoiding coffee for like, you know, a few days before your mammogram to kind of like, that might help with the discomfort.

And then you see women posting in response, well, you know, it's a lot more painful breast cancer treatment,

[00:50:44] Gila: Right.

[00:50:45] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: you know, and, but that's hard for somebody to, to, you know, wrap their head around as well.

[00:50:49] Gila: Yeah. But I say that, I say, you know, for, for people who don't want to know what their family history is and don't wanna ask. if anyone in their family had breast cancer or even do genetic testing to find out if they have a predisposition to breast cancer, to, to those who say they don't wanna know, I say, well, that may be, it may be scary to know, but it's a lot scary or not to know because whatever's there is there, whether you are choosing to find it or not.

And the question is, is are you going to find it before it finds you? And, know, the, the best option would be to be able to eliminate it, you know, from our altogether. But currently that's not the situation. What is the situation is that there's a ton of good research out there. There have been, uh, tremendous strides in treatments and dealing with side effects of treatments.

I know that even in terms of mammography, I don't think it's available yet, but I've read that there're, is something in the works around different type of mammogram that doesn't squash your boobs between two plates. It's something that happens, fairly quickly and with some other kind of device that has the same, capabilities as a mammogram.

And again, it's not available yet. And I turn to reliable experts, like I have a friend named Dr. Eleanora Delinsky, Do you know her?

[00:52:04] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: I, I, I follow her. I don't know her, but yeah.

[00:52:06] Gila: amazing. She's amazing. She is quick to respond to, um, any, you know, new headlines in the breast cancer space, in the gynecological cancer space.

She's a gynecological oncologist. She's got a cool book coming out next year called Beyond the Pink. I read a manuscript. It's phenomenal and it's important for people to, to turn to reliable sources like that. Dr. Robin Roth, she goes by the booby docs. And as you say, there's so much misinformation out there that identifying the reliable sources is key and I've just given you too. Um, and, and, and going, turning to these sources for information and ultimately, best weapon in our arsenal still today, in 2025 it comes to fighting breast cancer is early detection. And the only way you're going to early detect is to be detecting to begin with. There's no work around that. Thank you for coming to my tent, Tom.

[00:53:04] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: Well, thank you for coming to my podcast.

[00:53:08] Gila: Look, I, you know, I'm passionate about this and I can talk about it all day, and I'm very responsive to anyone who reaches out to me via the many channels through which you can reach out to me. Um, because I do care a lot and I do, I do love, uh, when people have a, a, a, a better outcome than I have. And by better, I mean, you got ahead of it and didn't have to endure all the stuff that I endured afterward because you were preventative.

You know, that makes me happy. That was the case for my sisters, by the way. I have three younger sisters. And, at the time that I decided to do genetic testing, uh, 2005, and then subsequently my. My preventative surgery in 2008. They were all really supportive. Help you with the kids, whatever you need. Rah rah, good for you.

That sounds over the top. And we wouldn't do that personally, like that sounds a bit extreme. they were in their twenties and one was a teenager at the time. my diagnosis came back, they all ran to get genetic testing and two of them, the, the one ones in their twenties found that they also were positive for, um, a BRCA mutation.

They went on to have preventative mastectomies themselves, which came back, thank God, clear. The pathology was clear. The youngest one, is not positive for that or the many other genes that have been identified since I had my testing. So the point is that, um, not only did I, I save my own life, but I like to think that I had a hand in saving theirs too.

So when I talk about the power of sharing the story. very real ramifications in my own family, and I can see that it has very real ramifications my family, my community, and people I know. And, uh, you know, if anybody wants to talk or share their story, ask a question, out. I'm here.

[00:54:58] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: Well, I absolutely love your story. I'm gonna hold the book up because. I have the hard copy. Whoops. How does it focus? It's not gonna focus, but I have the book right here.

[00:55:06] Gila: yeah, that's weird. Why is it doing that?

[00:55:09] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: There it is. Okay. I have the book.

[00:55:12] Gila: so much.

[00:55:13] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: Oh my God. I love the cover with my background in graphic design. Absolutely love the cover. It's very eye catching and the title and everything, but, I so rarely read books unless it's for the podcast to prepare.

I feel like I know your family. Like I really love this book and everybody needs to go out and to buy it. Um, and I will.

[00:55:34] Gila: A lot that people are, you know, will feel like they know my siblings and my husband Phil, who was and still is a tremendous support. And I love that in writing it for all the other reasons. You know, I wrote it for many reasons, but being able to pay tribute and thanks to the people in my life, um, my friends Effie and Hailey who took me to chemo, my best friend Tamara, these are my real friends in real life. And it was a chance for me to publicly thank them and acknowledge how much they did for me, how much my community did for me. So thank you for saying that. That means that I did a good job.

[00:56:05] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: Yeah. And you, it's, it is so obvious that you had and have a wonderful community and a wonderful support system. thank you so much for, for joining me on the podcast. Is there anything else that you wanna add or to promote? Do you have anything else coming up?

[00:56:20] Gila: Um, nothing. I mean, follow, you know, get in the field on the first situation. Find me on Instagram. I am working on, writing on my Substack more now. The book is sort of taking on a life of its own. Uh, will I have another book coming out? Eventually? I'm, I'm churning out various ideas, but I think the best place to find me is really substack if you're on it.

There's a lot of fun happening there on Instagram. I've got my website if you want to see more. Feel it on the first pictures. And Leia, I just wanna thank you so much for having me on this podcast. I know we connected a while ago and it was a long time in the making, getting together. But

[00:57:02] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: Yeah.

[00:57:02] Gila: like this is the exact right moment, and you're one of these people that I could probably talk to for four more hours, but nobody wants to hear us do that, so,

[00:57:12] leah-sherman_1_11-12-2025_091710: Well, maybe they don't. Let's keep going. No.

[00:57:15] Gila: No, but really thank you. And I, I think your show is wonderful. I listened to a bunch of episodes and I, I think that what you're doing is, um, tremendous and, and very much in line with what I'm doing, which is, know, information about cancer accessible and not scary and empowering. So thank you for the work that you do too.