#38: The "S" Word

The "S" word can make us bristle because it sounds like loss, weakness, or giving up control. During this Lent reflection, the whole idea is slowed down and rebuilt it the way Scripture describes it.

We talk about why “control” is often a comforting lie. Then we step into one of the most raw moments in the Bible: Jesus in Luke 22 at the Mount of Olives, praying. We bring surrender down into everyday life with Proverbs. Finally, we notice what happens right after Jesus surrenders: God sends strength.

If you need a steadying reminder that you’re not walking alone, this one is for you. Subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review so more listeners can find Life Out Loud.

Transcript

Welcome And Purpose Of Joy

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Ciao and welcome to Life Out Loud. I am your host, Desiree Melfi Bozo. We are going to use this space to share experiences and help you find lasting, unshakable, unwavering, unmessable with joy and gratitude. We're going to be throwing around encouragement a little bit like confetti and giving you support to live your very best life.

Why Surrender Feels So Hard

The Control Lie And Isaiah 46

Jesus Models Surrender In Luke 22

Control Freak Love And Hidden Burdens

Proverbs 3 Trust In Practice

Strength After Surrender And Angels

Closing Blessing And Listener Invite

SPEAKER_01 0:30

Ciao, friends. Welcome back, episode 38 of the Life Out Loud Podcast. I am Desiree Melfi Bozo, and we're going to dive in. So in the middle of Lent, nearing the end of Lent, we're inching forward to uh the end, but we're at about the midway point. Today I want to talk about a word that has many, many misconceptions. It's the word surrender. And perhaps when I said that, you were like, okay, or maybe you like bristled and felt like you were wearing a wool sweater on like a hot summer day. Also, real. Um, however, no matter what feelings come up about the word surrender, I want to someone to give us the Merriam-Webster uh version first, what it actually means. And then we're gonna dive into biblically what this means and how this shows up and why we're even talking about surrender during Lent. So, first definition to give oneself over to something. Fair enough. I can listen to that and say, okay, all right. That didn't feel bad, didn't feel like it um brushed up against me the wrong way. And the next one will. So are you ready to yield to the power, control, or possession of another? That one feels uncomfortable. So if you're like me, everything in our flesh hears that and goes against this feeling, right? Naturally, we resist it. Surrender, true biblical, godly surrender, requires two things. It requires trust and it requires dependence, total, utter dependence. Our brains are wired, literally, the way they were created and wired is to seek control, safety, and certainty. When we surrender, we give up a lot of that. Dare I say all of that, because trust or surrender requires trust, right? And total and utter utter dependency. So from the beginning of human existence, you probably already know this. If you know anything about scripture, human beings struggled with trusting God. I'm looking at you, Adam and Eve. Thanks for uh this whole state of affairs here. They desired to be in control, deciding what was best, more than believing that God knows best. If they would have believed God knows best, and if they would have trusted wholeheartedly and went on utter dependence of God, perhaps maybe the fall wouldn't have happened, right? Maybe I don't know, it wasn't there, but perhaps maybe it wouldn't have because they would have just known, wait a second, I don't care what this weird creature is telling me. God is the one that I trust and depend on. God is the one that has ultimate power and authority. God is the one I go back to. Things feel safer when we hold tight. Another total reality, right? We think things like, what if I let go and everything falls apart? As if we were actually holding them together, anyways. That's false. We aren't. We really aren't holding anything together. What if I stop worrying and something goes wrong? As if our worrying was actually the reason why nothing was going wrong. Being human is weird. What if I trust God? This one's ugly. Are you ready? What if I trust God and He doesn't give me what I want? Not that I've ever thought that. Totally have thought that many, many times. Okay, I could have, I would say early in my walk would be it wasn't early. It was probably just last week, if I can be really honest. What if I trust him and then I don't get what I really, really want? Well, it's not about me. It's not about you either. Scripture teaches us the opposite of all of this stuff. God is actually the one holding it together. It's not us. And I want to point us to Isaiah 46, verses 9 and 10. Read it here from Scripture. Remember the former things, those of long ago. I am God and there is no other. I am God and there is none like me. I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say my purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please. Surrender feels like a loss of control. But we all know that we can never go by how we feel. Feeling a loss of control is just a lie we believed because we were never in control in the first place, my loves. Control is a self-constructed lie that helps us pretend that we're safe because we're in control. Nothing can go wrong. False. When we begin to lean into this, and perhaps you're feeling it right now, it's a little shaky, it's a lot uncertain and a lot ambiguous. I want to fortify this idea of surrender with scripture. So it can be um, it can be an anchor in our hearts and our minds, right? When we take an idea like this that feels like we're on shaky ground, but when we fortify around it with scripture, it starts to give some firmness and helps us build on firm foundations. To do this, I want to pull back a curtain and I want to peek into a moment. And I want, well, don't close your eyes, but if you want to close them and imagine peeking into a moment in history, just peeling back the curtain and seeing Jesus and the Mount of Olives. I'm gonna take us to Luke 22, 39 to 42. Uh, I'm actually gonna back us up for a second so I can give us, yeah, I'm gonna back us up to 39. Give us some um, give us some framework here. Jesus went out as usual to the Mount of Olives, and his disciples followed him. On reaching the place, he said to them, Pray that you will not fall into temptation. Verse 41, he withdrew about a stone's throw beyond uh beyond them, knelt down and he prayed. Verse 42, Jesus' words, Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me yet. Not my will, but yours be done. Verse 42 might be one of the most honest prayers in all of scripture. Literally, the savior of the world knelt down and prayed. If you're willing, take this from me. I don't want to go through it yet. It's not about me. Your will be done ultimately, God. Above all, your will be done. In my um notes on the margins in my Bible. Uh I wrote, He prayed this thorn in his flesh would be removed. The thorn in his flesh was the curse of our sin. God replied, No, my son. Jesus was in agony when he prayed this. And we know because verse 44, if we skip ahead a little bit, it says, and being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground. I did some deep dive, and I've actually practiced this word, so you're welcome. Uh, there is an actual medical term for sweating blood, it's called hematidrosis. It happens when there's physical trauma, extreme stress, and intense fear. Jesus felt that. So don't think for a moment that Jesus doesn't know what it's like to walk in our shoes. Don't think for a moment that the thing you're going through, Jesus doesn't know what it's like. Jesus lived and died surrendered. He would never, ever in a million years call us to do something that he hasn't done himself. That's just not how our savior works. So if you're sitting there and you're in your season and your moment and your stuff, and you're like, nobody understands. God, you don't understand. He does. Because if Jesus, the savior of the world, lived a life surrendered, it's essential that we figure out how to do it too. Jesus wasn't weak in his surrender. Sometimes I think surrender gets a bad rap. Sometimes I think people hear the word surrender and they're like, yeah, if you're weak, right? Like, I don't know, in my mind, it was that voice, whatever. Uh Jesus wasn't weak in his surrender. It's the very opposite. He deeply trusted God and trusted his will above anything else in the world. I think for us as humans on this side of heaven, surrender's hard because let's be honest, uh, some of us are control freaks. And by some of us, I mean yours truly, but I also know a lot of you are on there too. I see you over there trying to control all the things and white knuckle it through and helicopter parent and do all the things. I get it, and I get it because I do it too. Uh, but and and there's a huge and and a huge but there. Also, sometimes, maybe it's not we're control freaks all the time. Sometimes we just love so fiercely and so passionately our children and our families and our spouses and our jobs and our things. There's that too. So we worry and we plan and we think ahead. We carry burdens, no one sees. We muscle through. We want our kids to be safe, we want our marriages to be strong, we want our families to be okay. We want to like know that they're gonna be okay, and sometimes it's easier to like put it all on our backs than it is to hand it over to the the one. Oh, I was looking for something that rhymed with backs there and I couldn't think fast enough. It's fine. The moment's past. We want the future to make sense and be secure. So when it doesn't feel that way, we hold tighter and we hold faster and we try and gain more control. Stop. Surrender asks us, requires us to do something different. I want to point us to Proverbs 3, 5, and 6. You know this one. I don't even have to tell you what it is because you know it. Proverbs 3, verse 5 and 6. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. Verse 6. Here it comes: in all your ways, submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. My loves, how can he ever begin to straighten your paths, to point you in the direction to go, to guide your ways if you don't submit to him? He can't trust that God is working even when we don't understand it. We can't lean on our own understanding because we will face seasons that don't make any sense ever. We're gonna face things in life that we literally can't wrap our minds around. So we can't lean on our own understanding. We have to go back to the last thing God said to us, and he said, trust in me with all of your heart. Don't lean on yourself in everything you do, submit it to me, and I'm gonna make it straight. Okay. That's the last thing God told me to do. So when the thing comes up that I can't quite wrap my mind around and I don't really understand, or have interactions that leave me more perplexed and confused than anything else, or something happens and I'm like, but wait, what? Where was God? I don't understand. Go back to the last thing you heard him say. Proverbs 3, 5 and 6. Surrenders trusting God anyway. It sounds like, God, I can't control my kid's future, but I know you can. God, I don't know how this situation's gonna come out, but I know you do. God, I don't know how the surgery's gonna go, but I know your hands on it. God, I don't understand the season I'm in, but I trust you and that you're good. God, I don't understand how that marriage fell apart, but I trust that you can piece anything back together. Lord, not my will, not the things that I worry about, not the things that I think about, not the things that my friends are struggling with, not the things that my kids are struggling with, but your will be done in all of it. In the health, in the sickness, in the marital strife, in the financial strife, in the job stuff, in the I don't know, I'm running out of ideas here. Family, job, marriage, money, what uh what other big ones? The business, your will be done, God. Before we close this out, I want to take us back to the Mount of Olives. Because there's a verse that I didn't read you, and it's an important one. It's a verse that I think illuminates a lot about our king. Verse 42. Jesus prayed. I read this, Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me, yet not my will, but yours be done. And no sooner did Jesus stop saying those words. Verse 43, an angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. Isn't that just like our God to offer provision in an instant, to offer his love and his care in a tangible way? God sent heaven down to meet Jesus right after his moment of surrender. God showed up. Isaiah 46, 9 to 10. Remember the former things of those long ago. I am God, there is no other. I am God, there is none like me. I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say my purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please. God said that. And then Jesus prayed, and then God sent his provision. God sees the whole picture. He knew exactly what Jesus would need the moment after his surrender. Nothing surprises our God. Surprises us, surprises the heck out of us sometimes. Nothing surprises our God. No one else catches him off guard. Nothing else can catch God off guard. We can be caught off guard, nothing catches our God off guard. Just like he sent his angels to Jesus, he will send them concerning you. Psalm 91, verse 11 and 12, for he will command his angels concerning you and guard you in all of your ways. They will lift you up in your hands so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. He's gonna command his angels concerning you because you are his beloved, just like he did to Jesus in the Mount of Olives. He's gonna send his angels to help you, to fortify you the minute you surrender. God's gonna be there in that next breath. That's who he is. So whatever you're going through, whatever's happening in your life, whatever's keeping you up at night, making you worry, whatever the doctor's diagnosis just told you, submit it to God. He will command his angels concerning you because he loves you that much. He will send his provision regardless of if he sends the answer you want or not. We're not walking alone. Sometimes we have angels beside us concerning us. God sees all the things, he knows all the things. And no matter what your situation looks like, no matter what you're going through. The grief, the anger, the sorrow, the frustration, the unforgiveness, like whatever the thing is that you're like, I can't even be cool. Because God can. God's on the throne, and our God is in total control. And my loves. He sends his angels concerning you. Heaven is always much, much closer than we can ever imagine. That's surrender. I hope if you came in here bristling against the word, I hope you don't bristle anymore. I hope you hear the word and you just kinda that, whatever that exhale was. I pray that. Alright, friends. Have an amazing day. Find the ways to surrender. And then hand them over to the king. Cheers.

SPEAKER_00 18:22

Thank you for joining me, Desiree Melfi Bozo, for this episode of Life Out Loud. I would love to hear from you. Leave me a comment, tell me what topics you want to talk about, and how you take your coffee. If you enjoyed what you heard, text a friend the link, share it on social media, or if you're interested in becoming a supporter, beep up over to my webpage, lifeout loud.me, and sponsor a cup of coffee that keeps this podcast fueled. Until next time, sweet listeners.