AND HERE’S MODI
AND HERE’S MODI is an inside look at the man behind the microphone. Hosted by comedian, Modi (@modi_live), AHM features a raw and unfiltered side of the comedian rarely seen on stage. He always finds the funny as he navigates the worlds of comedy, trending topics, his personal life and spirituality. AHM is co-hosted by Periel Aschenbrand (@perielaschenbrand) and Leo Veiga (@leo_veiga_).
AND HERE’S MODI
Dovie Neuberger (Part 3)
Episode 161: Back by popular demand, Dovie Neuberger returns to discuss everything from Vacation Village gigs to Ferragamo Slides.
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Hi everybody, welcome to. And here's Modi. I'm in the studio with Dovi Neuberger we are. The last time he was in the studio was before the summer. Now we've had a full summer. Now we're going to chazer the summer. We're going to chazer, not as in pig, but chazer as in review. Go over, see what we remember, what we can bring zhlog up. We're going to zhlog up what happened this summer and you had some.
Speaker 2:you had your first, I guess, cat skill. Yeah, I would say the the borscht bell tour, but it's what? Probably more recently, the modi tour.
Speaker 1:This is what you call it, the old modi tour. Yeah, exactly um, you had vacation village vacation was electric, amazing electric.
Speaker 2:first they start, you get up there and of course the guy hands you the mic. He says we just bought a brand new sound system. We're installing it the day you leave. That's how they start every show in the Catskills. We got a new sound system for after you.
Speaker 1:So, just to set it up, it's these people who own homes, these adorable homes, and they're all in a village. It's a village that they vacation in, it's called Vacation Village, and there's this beautiful, beautiful, there's this barn that they all have their main events in. It's the stage. It's also the synagogue, the casino, they call it. They call it the casino. Yes yes, the casino.
Speaker 2:I played in a lot of casinos with Arun, kodesh's and Bima's this year, right, and I mean they're very I accidentally called it a bungalow colony, that's like. That's like the N word for homeowners association. Wow, they really didn't like that. They're like we're not a bungalow, we're a homeowners association.
Speaker 1:The only thing worse than that is calling it a kukhalain. What's a kukhalain? Kukhalain is Before the bungalows happened. It was called the kuchelain because when they had like these little homes but there's no kitchen in the home, so there was like an oven and sinks and they'd all be in the lane. So people would do their cooking in the kuchelain cooking lane. And could you imagine? Could you imagine that your home is so horrible that you're okay going up there and cooking into and so there's a kuchelain. The only thing worse than being called a bungalow. Now they call homeowners homeowners association there's 225 homes.
Speaker 2:Every single homeowner there thinks the other 224 are crazy. I don't know. They all come up to you for shabbos. You're going to get a lot of material here everyone has out of the fucking minds, right they, they, um, yeah, I um wait, just so.
Speaker 1:you just the setup. It's the best show ever. There's nothing. It doesn't get better than that. It was one of the best, it's the best show.
Speaker 2:I miss it. Well, it's set up because they still have the same room from when like it's like an old Catskills Hotel in the middle of the bungalow. So it's set up still like an old, like Jackie Mason would play there, jackie Mason will play there and it's a semicircle. A lot of Jewish shows aren't set up like conducive to comedy, but this one, like everyone, is kind of equally distant from you. So, it feels like everyone's like tight packed in and the lighting is like old, like nightclub vibes. Right Than it was.
Speaker 1:I have an amazing picture that I'm going to. I'll make sure Leo pops it into this thing Of me doing one of my last shows there. First of all, my opening line over there is always I love what you haven't done with the place. The place looks like literally back from 1970s or 60s, and the green room behind stage is where they store the asbestos.
Speaker 2:That's just like it looks.
Speaker 1:So enough asbestos for the whole city it's so cracky back there and they never fix it up and they don't care. Whoever comes is coming. They're gonna go and do a show and leave. But the audience is lit. The audience can't wait for it. They've been waiting for it and when I was there I stayed the weekend because it was ilan gold's son's bar mitzvah, right and everybody's in your face. You know it's.
Speaker 2:That's the hardest part of the casco gigs in general is that you have to spend the whole weekend there, everyone walking up to you. Oh, you're gonna talk about this, you're gonna do that. You should talk about this. Ilan gold's parents are there, so everyone's coming up to me. Like you know, ilan gold's parents live here and I, like this is great, I don't know what to say, right, and they're telling me about when you played there last. They all came up to me and said we used to get modi, but we can't afford him anymore. So I started the show actually saying because they just built this like new, like two million dollar pool that nobody knows what was two million dollars about it.
Speaker 2:So I said modi won't play anymore but one man's trash is another man's $2 million pool.
Speaker 1:That's funny. Yes, they always tell you they're long-dose parents, so you've got to add something to their thing and you know that they're getting divorced. They've been together for 89 years and they're both like 100.
Speaker 2:So it's not Sid and Maka. No, oh, he calls her Maka because that's part of I forgot her first name, anyway.
Speaker 1:So I did that. So that was the only. I never stay. I come in the day of the show. I don't stay there and do the show, but for that weekend I did. I davened musaf. Yeah, so I did the musaf. Yeah, so I did the musaf prayer.
Speaker 2:Like after the bar mitzvah. They schedule three fights during musaf. Every week Three fights. Yeah, people get into fights during musaf.
Speaker 1:They just start fighting and yelling at each other.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know what about.
Speaker 1:I went up there and I was like, okay, it was good, the bar mitzvah was good, everybody was good, and I was like I was feeling it, oh, okay, and I also had another coffee and so my voice is in a good place. So I'm davening and I'm like I'm feeling it, like, okay, okay, the Gabbai gets in my face and goes. They all walk out at 12. I don't know what you're planning on doing here right now, but at 12 o'clock it's whatever you're up to.
Speaker 2:It's over, it was like it was 1144.
Speaker 1:He's like you better. They're going to all walk out. Make sure you get Kedusha in before, because they're going to all walk out on you and they walk out, yeah, and then they have a private homeowners association board kiddish in like that.
Speaker 2:You know the restroom, the restaurant where Tony Soprano stores the bodies and behind the shul, you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, but the show is great. That's what I love about it, Like all the making you're like you complain about it because it's a bit and the green room. But I had to pee in a bottle in the green room because I was so nervous. I literally peed in a bottle. I peed out the window.
Speaker 2:I was about to pee out the window with all these cars, with Hasidim passing by, I peed out the window in the green room. Oh Vacation Village. Oh Vacation Village, because they don't have a bathroom.
Speaker 1:There's no bathroom back there, so the we're really excited. Where did you stay? Do you know? I know them. I saw you did a cameo. I was not. I peed out the window at Vacation Village.
Speaker 2:There's no bathroom back there, so I got up in a chair to pee out the window and then I was like all these people are passing by so I peed in a bottle. But it was the greatest show because everyone was just so into it they're living for it.
Speaker 1:It's a show that once you get them, you got them, they got you. They know that. You know that. They know that. You know that you know that they know that, they know them. I did an hour, 15. Hour 15. Crazy, amazing.
Speaker 2:And I was alive the whole time. Always Did you have an opening act? I got lucky because my friend Ami Kozak, who's also a comic, his parents had a place there and he was staying there. So I just said, like pop in, do 10. He did. Oh, I did not realize how much openers changed the whole game for me. What do you mean? I mean, like I used to go to, I still do, like I'll go to like a school, hire me and I'll do my hour. Last this past Saturday night. I brought an opener.
Speaker 2:Like I brought an opener like a kid that he's actually he was the head of, like, the comedy club at YU and I heard him at an open mic. I'm like you're pretty good, I put him up before me. It sets the whole room because Jews need to be told that they're at a comedy show, hilarious. So he set the whole room and the first like usually the first let's say four to six minutes where like they're getting used to like oh, this is a joke, that was already done for me. So right away from my first minute on, they're already so into the show. It changed the whole show for me.
Speaker 1:So when I don't have an opening act, I begin with bits that are so over the top accents and characters and so much sugar Right that they like that's. I'm my own opening act and I'll say that was your opening act.
Speaker 2:Here's the show, literally yeah. So it's hard for someone who has my cadence, because I get there and people are like we're supposed to go to sleep now, like this and my voice and I, no your cadence is slow Very slow and you don't move and you just pop it out.
Speaker 1:So the funny thing is you went into the summer doing these shows. Everybody asked me. I said he's great online. I've never seen his act. I have no idea what he's gonna do on stage. I have no idea. But everybody said we had a great time, we loved you, they got you, they hopped Dovi.
Speaker 2:Newberger. So I did Vacation Village, I did Moonlight, I did Swan Lake, swan Lake, so Swan Lake, swan Lake. So Swan Lake was different because, like these, these bungalow colleges are becoming much more religious. It's like a lot of Hasidim Swan Lake is the last like they talk about Hasidim, like they're Mexicans crossing the border, they're like they're coming in here. We can't control them because that's like old cat skills, like Long Islands, much more secular. Yep, and that was also a really fun show.
Speaker 2:They have, like the, like the casino, this tiny little room with a band yes the same band that they booked 50 years ago hasn't left, just lives there moonlight's, the one that has like, um, oh, it's like the gold gold moonlight is literally just a shul. They write you a check from from the non-profit yeah, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay the goal? Which one is the gold? Maybe I did that one also it was one.
Speaker 1:It was like everybody's really really, really old and I walked in there to do the show. This is probably 10 years ago. I brought leo with me and leo came in shorts. So you can't come into the casino with shorts in the evening. So there's these two women sitting just like this and everybody's walking through and one of them just takes the cane and puts it in front of Leo. I just look at this and goes you can't come in here with shorts. Who do you belong to, Like? Who's your grandmother Right? And he goes I belong to Moody. He goes, he he's with maury and she let him in in shorts.
Speaker 1:In shorts, he was able to sit there with shorts. Yeah, yeah, is anything happening there?
Speaker 2:I was just like trying to check it.
Speaker 1:Hello from vienna, from vienna yeah, vienna, we're coming. Uh, there's a few tickets left. Make sure to get them. Mashiach energy in vienna it's going to be. I have so much to talk to you about, so you had a bit during the summer. Again, I only watch your clips, right, and so it's you and Reggie.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Reggie's great.
Speaker 1:Reggie. Reggie's getting married tomorrow.
Speaker 2:No, yeah, mazel Tov Reggie. Tomorrow is Thursday, bell Harbor, yeah.
Speaker 1:He's getting married tomorrow. That's why he was buying a capota. Yeah, he's so young, he's a little kid. But you and Reggie, I watch your videos and it's two different videos, you, okay. So your videos go on and I can tell in your, I think I'm a reshiva. Okay, no, but you are like who can I upset with this video? Who in the Jewish world can I upset with this video? Who in the Jewish world can I upset with this video? Is it a girl who's just dating now? Is it a parent who's given to yeshiva? I want to upset someone, get them going and rile it up, right.
Speaker 1:That's a little bit of your video Of course, because that's what gets the most traction 100%.
Speaker 2:Jews are victims. They become like they're upset with me. I'm like they're black, like the show I did this past saturday night wouldn't have got. I made fun of us, uh, sar that's cool, the sar kids. They rated my comment section. The video blew up, got 200 000 views right away and they're like but we also want this guy for a show. So they told their parents you got to bring him in. And I'm like why would I stop making fun of people? Your, it's working yes, yes.
Speaker 1:So your videos go up and you're like who can I upset? Get them angry, fighting with each other online. Reggie puts up these videos and he has the energy like this is the video. It's going to bring mashiach. Yeah, this one is going to like. Everybody's going to unite around this video about not having a blanket in yeshiva.
Speaker 1:Whatever the video is about, and that's gonna bring mashiach, and it probably would have brought mashiach if I wasn't pushing I did a video for his mom, for rich's mom had a birthday and he goes my mom is a bigger fan of you than me, yeah, please make a video for her. And he showed, and she, he showed me that she's like watching it. She's one of like 13 kids, or 14 kids, and he's one of 10. So I used to have this bit that I used to do about, because I once had dinner with this family that had 17 kids and I'm like when you have 17 kids, it's different than when you have two or three, two or three.
Speaker 1:If the kid's out of line, the father comes in hey, what's going on? Can we figure this out? Do you need a tutor? Do you want to? Da-da-da? Just, hey, I want to work this way. If you're one of 17, the dad comes in hey, what's your name? Like a tutor, a job? You're going to get a job. I have 16 other kids, I don't need you. Like it's a different vibe and she was loving that video and it was so good. One of your videos was about the sleepaway camp, the visiting day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the prank, or talking about divorced dads, the divorced dad was very funny, okay, very, very funny. So that upset a couple. Divorced people Most divorced people actually appreciate it. I got a lot of messages from like how do you know my ex? You literally made a video about my ex-husband. A lot of those.
Speaker 1:Everybody thinks we're talking about them.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:They understand that they are just a bigger group of people. There's one character you left out that I love. It's the chassid. He grew up as a chassid. He grew up in one of 84 kids. He had the pillbox hat. You know what the pillbox hat is? Yeah, yeah, he grew up in Williamsburg or Borough Park, whatever, and made money and made money. Cash advance, cash advance nursing homes. Nursing homes something Consulting Consulting, his consulting Consulting. He's consulting.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's consulting and he made money. And the wife's like we are getting out of this, move to the five towns wherever and the kids go to some camp that he couldn't have imagined.
Speaker 2:Oh, the Tuna.
Speaker 1:Bagels kids in the modern Orthodox camps. So now he's watching his kids jumping in and out of a pool, with young girls jumping in and out of the pool, and he can't believe his kids are so goyish. He went out of the pool and he can't believe his kids are so guyish. He went to yeshiva. He went to a day camp where they sat and learned for eight hours of gemara and then they let him run with a ball for two minutes. Yeah, now he's looking at his kids like who is this guy that came for me and my wife, I don't know. That was my. In my head that's the character I ran.
Speaker 2:So I did. In one of my videos I spoke about like the parents on visiting day that are clearly too yeshivish for the camp. But the Rebbe made a deal with the kid because we'll ask him to stop smoking weed, we'll let him go to the co-ed camp. I think I did reference one of those characters, but you could spot them on visiting day. They're like what is this?
Speaker 2:And they have the white polo shirt, the white polo shirt, with the undershirt sticking out underneath Clothes to the top like this but you know what they're thinking. They're thinking how is my son so gaish and how come I couldn't do this?
Speaker 1:That's what they're really thinking, yeah.
Speaker 2:I wish I could have done this.
Speaker 1:I really wish I could have done this.
Speaker 2:I love the. There's like always, one ice cream store upstate that on visiting day, nobody can understand why they can't accommodate 5,000 people Because it's built for Tawahaki County in New York. And they're like, there's always. And it's like they open a window. They open a window to give your order and another window to get the ice cream out. Oh my God, this guy always some like yeshivish dad sticks his head inside the window, looks around the kitchen. What do you got here? What do you got here? Like in the window.
Speaker 2:One year there was a guy online it's like a two-hour line. Yeah, it's a famous story in lake como, because that's where all the camps are right. He didn't want to wait on nine. He said, like, how much to buy the restaurant? He bought the pizza store. You're kidding me. He's like I don't want to wait on that, I to buy the restaurant. He bought the pizza store. You kidding me. He's like I don't wanna wait on that, I'll buy the store. Bought the whole store. I think he sold it. But he said bought the store, guys, kids, pizza. Oh, shut up.
Speaker 1:It's a true story that's incredible. With it there's a place by vacation village is a pizza store that's like packed on mochi Shabbos and the guys there only for the season.
Speaker 2:There's a bunch now. Woodburn's crazy now I forgot when you went it was probably less built up. Woodburn now is like central avenue really five towns. There's a doggies, there's a milk restaurants, there's a little chocolate, there's two pizza stores, ice cream store. They have the hasidic uh butcher truck which has this song wow, flesh, flesh and meat. Whatever they have shoe stores. I got harassed in woodburn, crazy I, because you know, I, I love like being recognized and I love you, love it, but I've I.
Speaker 1:Over the summer I had some interactions where I was like, maybe I don't like all of it, but what well, like woodburn, let me hear the interactions.
Speaker 2:Well, some it's just like, like what do they say to you? Like 16 year old yeshivish kids on drugs and wife beaters, like yo yo, you think you're funny. You think you're, I don't know, I grew up like kind of in between two worlds. But modern kids when they're not so frum, they're not thuggy, they just like become investment bankers that aren't so religious. Like yeshivish kids become gang members. And like you think you're funny, I see you online. You think you're funny. What do you think you're funny? And I'm like what? I'm just trying to get pizza. I just try to get a pizza right now. It's hysterical. Create like it was a, like I was about to start a brawl at a pizza store at woodburn. So funny ours is different.
Speaker 1:I'm okay. So mine, it's not 16 year olds, it's 60 year olds, right? They come up to us and they look me in the face and go you're modi, you're Modi. In case I didn't know I was Modi. And then they turn to Leo and go and you're his gay husband, You're his gay husband, and they say it in a way as if I wouldn't be gay except for the fact that I married a gay guy.
Speaker 2:Well, I do tell people that you're not gay. You're just married to a man. I'm just married to a man, but you're not really gay.
Speaker 1:No, I'm gay associate, I'm affiliated gay. They look at Leo and go you're his gay husband. Like I'm not, you're his husband sufficient. And then they tell you like where we saw you when you did a cameo for us and all of that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2:So now they still tell me. Most people tell me your parents gave us chasan and kala classes, because my parents are big chassan and kala teachers, or they like, knew my grandfather from the Bronx 100 years ago. Okay, chassan, and kala classes.
Speaker 1:Okay, oh my God. Thank you all for watching and thank you, for we're going to be in Munich. We're going to thank you. The Baltimore show was amazing. The St Paul show was amazing. I loved everybody there. I'm just talking to him so I have nothing to answer, but I love all of you. Thank you for writing in. Okay, when front people make money, yes, and then they build a house, and just in the five towns, Okay. Can we discuss the decorating?
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, it's a broader First of all, when from people who didn't grow up with money, right, make money. It's very similar to when rappers who didn't grow up with money make money. Okay, they don't know exactly where to spend it, so they just wear it in chains and they're posses and they're and I think it's a very similar phenomenon.
Speaker 1:But I'm talking about money. Money, not like okay, there's the people that grew up in in borough park and flatbush and they made some money so that everything's gucci and and fendi and everything, everything.
Speaker 2:The only people in the world that wear ferragamo slides horrible are nursing home managers and cash, because the only someone who would walk into the ferragamo store and say, now I have, have money, I need everything Ferragamo, like it makes sense. Ferragamo belt, ferragamo shoes that's what people on Wall Street wear, but I need Ferragamo underwear, I need Ferragamo toothbrush, I need Ferragamo slides Everything.
Speaker 1:And that belt's just but like. So my friend got a place in the five towns. He's a Flatbush guy and he just bought a place in the five towns Just because he just for weekends. He wants to do Shabbos in the five towns instead of being in Flatbush. Like Northwood man, so I went to visit my parents.
Speaker 1:Let me just start with this. My parents live in the five towns. They've lived there since 1977, we've had the house In Northwood by or Torah and when I grew up there it wasn't Borough Park it was a real like place. It was just and it was like a nice little young Israel and that was it on Peninsula Boulevard and the cheese store was still the cheese store.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and there was a kosher place. You know I do Jewish comedy shows in the cheese store now because it's kosher now. You're kidding. That's where I do club shows. It's probably a great show. Amazing, because it's a tiny room and I put 115 people in it. Oh, could you invite me to those shows Anytime you want to do it, oh my God, I love those shows Anyway.
Speaker 1:so, the Five Town's grave okay, that's the first, that's the first place my head goes and and check all the mezuzahs in the house. So so, hold on, I'll get to in a minute. I take my parents to the rebbe's grave, which is in the five towns. It's it's 12 minute drive to the Rebbe's grave. How people don't just go there all the time is beyond me. And then I went to this restaurant that they go to. They go to this restaurant called X-A-G-A. I don't even know how to pronounce it Xaga, xaga, I don't even know how to pronounce it. Okay, it's next to Wall's Bakery, an amazing bakery, not kosher, but but like kosher where is this?
Speaker 2:I don't even know these places in hewlett, oh, hewlett. In hewlett it's the last guy is jewish part of the five towns still emma, and this, and it's right, by the trader joe's.
Speaker 1:So my parents go, I go. Where do you want to go, dude? There's this domosh momo, whatever no, no, no, we don't go there we go to zaga and it's this restaurant that has everything you could imagine in the world there's sushi, there's regular food, there's Italian food, there's pizza, there's everything and it looks like Boca and Fort Lauderdale a restaurant together neon, and everybody working in there is Asian and everybody in there is the average age deceased. It's like a nursing home eating place and my parents walk in. They're like they're the owner.
Speaker 1:That's where they eat three times a week, three times a week three times a week they're there, okay, they have a lunch with their friends in this and then they come alone on that and my mother doesn't want to cook on this, so they go there and it's sushi. They get sushi, they get like tuna they get. They're not eating meat there, but they're so rude to the people because they're old. My parents are in their 80s. Sweetheart, my father does that thing where he still grabs the waiter. The waiter, yeah, my dad's 90. He grabs the waiter to get the attention. No, no, no, no problem, totally. And Leo says to me things like you can never do that you understand, because he knows I'm on that track there's an age where you're allowed to do it at that's what I said.
Speaker 2:That's what I said too, but anyway and you're not me too-ing a 90 year old, no, but I and the Asians are running around there and they go and my mom's like I need more ginger.
Speaker 1:I need more ginger, I need more that. I want sweet enough for the green tea, you know? And your parents are Israeli. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're kidding. And then afterwards I go to pay. I go. Thank you very much, he goes. We love your parents. They're so sweet, they're so sweet. My parents were so abusive to this lady. They were like but they know everything. The woman comes, she knows exactly how my mom wants her rice and my mom is not looking for those fancy kosher restaurants and sitting in front of some steak, she's just. This is exactly where we were with them in the five towns, but I went to go visit my friend who built the house.
Speaker 2:Can we discuss how from rich people decorate their homes Well, first, when you walk in, there's the part that because Jewss, they're not allowed to finish the last square because of yusha live, but then they. That's the most expensive part of the whole house usually okay, he put up a mezuzah.
Speaker 1:It was a sefer torah oh, the big ones big, it was like a little. You know the rubbish is to say for torah tourists, those little ones. You had one that was the mezuzah for the. For the front door. Okay, you walk in, it's like a catering hall, they.
Speaker 2:They leave the three floors open the high ceiling in the circle in the front yeah, I'm like are you training parakeets?
Speaker 1:what do you need? What is this? What is this? But the real sign to show you that it's like a from rich home, when you walk in, either to the left or the right, is the husband's office, and it's right by the front door. Why?
Speaker 2:Well, which kind Not where he does work. So he writes checks to Mishalachim.
Speaker 1:That's right, yeah, so whenever somebody comes in to ask for money, instead of parading them through the house and showing them this insane house you just built, you bring them right into the office and then he can tell you I'm having a hard year, this isn't a good year for me. I'm the the market. You know the market and tariffs and tariffs. I can't the tariffs, I can't tell you. But you can't march them through the house and show them all this marble and all of this stuff and and all these rooms and everything, and so you have to have that. But this, this one had, and on the other side, a little living room, adorable little living room, and I go what's this for? It was the Mechatenisters, the potential Mechatenisters.
Speaker 2:There's one room in every house in the town that you're not allowed to sit in. It's just for the Mechatanim when they come to talk about money for the wedding. That's exactly what it is. Yeah, that's the only function. It has.
Speaker 1:I didn't realize that that existed.
Speaker 2:If you have five kids, use it God willing five times. God willing five times.
Speaker 1:But sometimes it might be ten times If every kid has somebody that you might be getting married to them, and you meet them and like no, no, you're not marrying these parents, you're not marrying into this family, you do not want them walking through the house too.
Speaker 2:But the flip where you're Michotin from the day before the wedding I was like, oh my God, Phil and whatever, Sharon, we love the sweetest people to your worst enemies. The day after the wedding, when you have to fight over your kids for Yontif is crazy. It's the fastest switch.
Speaker 1:It is, but I think it's also the richer. The family is the one they get to make the choice, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was the thing you were saying about. When I started dating, I was dating like much more than like the yeshivish like shidduch you stopped dating.
Speaker 1:You're just not getting married anymore.
Speaker 2:No, I'm saying like I don't, like I like whatever. I used to sit down with the parents. They would think I would. Oh, you got to that point. Yeah, for sure, I was dating pretty from when I started. When I'm saying when I was 21, 22 and so don't walk me through here. Yeah, walk me through. I talk about it a lot in my act. I don't think I sent this part to you.
Speaker 1:Okay again, I never saw your act, so your parents arranged somebody for you. Like, there's a girl.
Speaker 2:Okay, how did you get it to? I'm the youngest of six. My parents like we're done.
Speaker 1:Oh they're done, yeah, they're done.
Speaker 2:No, they're amazing and supportive. Like I'm so close to my parents but they parents but they're not like, oh, like my dad.
Speaker 2:like my dad cannot name you one girl I've dated not because he just if it was ever relevant, like we talk about it and this and that and like he would be down to meet anyone, but they're not helicoptering. Dating this and that, like I. I kind of it was eat what you kill for me. Also, I wanted to start dating young, I don't know why when I was like 20. So I was doing the back and forth with the matchmaker myself and you know. So the. Basically you get a what's called a resume. I don't know if your audience knows it, but it's. It's a piece of paper, all the information about the girl and then it has the address of the girl at the top. So you google the house and zillow so you like.
Speaker 2:So I used to have a bit about the should have date.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the resume, I forgot it. It was one of the best bits I had. I used to close with it. That's how strong it was. I said the Shidduch date gives you their like, the age yeah, she's 21, she was once 21 that's what it means. She was once 21. I said she was 21 when she wrote the resume. Yeah, that's when she wrote the resume. She's not 21 anymore. No, if she's not 21 anymore. No, because if she's five three, that means she's five one five one.
Speaker 1:If she's five one, she's a midget, she's 21, the same way she was once 115 but my biggest, like the oh um and then like her parents are whatever and the the end was like when they ask you for the referrals I like to her friends oh the references, references.
Speaker 1:I would just say I, I want the pharmacist, I want to know what this girl takes to her friends. Oh, the references, references. I would just say I want the pharmacist, I want to know what this girl takes to not jump off the building. That that's. That was such a the shidduch resume, just like gives it's on paper when you say she's good on paper but like when you meet her she's out of her mind. So the shidduch resume, that's the shidduch and resume. Is that Okay, go ahead, go ahead. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:So I actually have a similar bit about the Shidduch resume that, like nobody, the guys don't read the resume. We just we Zillow the house because we get the address we want to see, and it used to be. We do whatever. I would see what kind of cars he drives. But now all these poor people, they have Teslas and you get there and the front door. You're saying that big, heavy front door that you need two people to open it in these mansions. So crazy. Nobody actually uses that door, unless their daughter's going on a date or it's a schnarr, right, unless you come from the kitchen. Yeah, whatever, they have a side door, no one ever uses it, okay, so anytime you get there, they're trying to figure out. I don't know how this door works. We only use it for dates and schnarrs and I'm like well, if I'm out here, I'll be a schnarr to you too, I'll be schnarring also.
Speaker 1:Wait so you get to these houses. We're popping all over the place. Sorry yeah, I'm pop. I was like blown over. My friend built this place, he bought you. Walk in there and it's like a catering hall. It's massive and it's lit the lighting oh my God, it's so bright. Gay men don't have overhead lighting. We just don't because it's not flattering.
Speaker 2:You have a lamp, a candle.
Speaker 1:I have overhead lighting in my dining area because we do Pesach in my house and my mom needs the light to read the Haggadah, so we put up a thing there, but otherwise it's dark. It's like everything's lit so beautifully. We have like settings and levels for different parts of the evening. We call it machtnacht. When you're getting ready to go to bed at six o'clock, the light's doing this. At seven we're going that At eight. There's this 10, there's half a candle. There's like a yorkside candle burning in the corner and we're good.
Speaker 2:I grew up in a house where every light was on until 3 in the morning. My dad doesn't really sleep, but my mom barely sleeps. So you come home at 2 in the morning they're just in the kitchen talking my mom's screaming at the. Alexa put on Israel News. Alexa, put on Israel. Like every night, my friend put lighting. You could do oral surgery in his house. Wait, the art, the art, the art, the art. This lady, she only painted, she's spent. She lives on top of a hill in svat right she only painted six paintings in her whole life.
Speaker 2:We commission this one for us, right or it's like, but first of all.
Speaker 1:So when you're in the dining table and you're in the dining room, there's got to be a picture of yershalim, jerusalem, yeah. So they had this painting up and it looked like someone just put First of all. So when you're in the dining room, there's got to be a picture of Jerusalem. So they had this painting up and it looked like someone just put paint on this thing. And I go to him what is it? And he goes it's Jerusalem. I go, show me how that's Jerusalem, Explain to me how that is Jerusalem. So there's like this gold slashes in the middle with a cross of the gold slashes. And I go that's the Kotel, that's the Western Wall. He goes, yeah, I go, you hate this painting. He goes I'm.
Speaker 1:You know that they're not into their art because they're like do you like it? Do you like it? We like it. It's an art. We were in the gallery and we figured and it was like so we got it. The best is chabad. If you're in a chabad home, there's a massive picture of the rabbi in the dining room and that's it. That energy is in the dining room.
Speaker 2:Rabbi period, so the period the what, the fancy litvish homes. So I mean not litvish, but what. What I find hilarious is they'll have the mural, the eighty thousand dollar mural. They'll have the washing station and the dining room and then they have a picture of Rav Shai Lakeras Teer. This is to keep the mice away. I'm like you live in an $8 million mansion with a heated driveway. There's no mice, you don't need Rav.
Speaker 1:Shai Lakeras Teer.
Speaker 1:There are no mice here. You always need that. If you put it up, you won't have it, if you don't, you. It's all a connection. Dovi, hold on one second. I had so much more with me the art Wait. So I said to him where's the number on the house? He goes it's that and that they didn't put it up here. There's no numbers on their homes. So I go what if Hatzala had to come pick you up? He goes the guy that just bought the Berkowitz house. Go to the guy that bought Berkowitz's house.
Speaker 1:That's how they know each other, the guy whose daughter got married this weekend at Bethel. Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:They know by the who did the mortgage. Right, who did?
Speaker 1:the mortgage. I know the guy his wife's brother-in-law did my what's that thing? Title insurance whatever the hell that means, yeah, title insurance. Title insurance, my caring home is right over there, okay away in display by goyim, by people who aren't Jewish. And when I say goyim, it's with love nations, everybody. That's not Jewish, it's a nation. And you are all invited to my show, you're all.
Speaker 2:every guy is invited to my show, period just because you're bringing it up now, I don't I want to do it. The guy from the first special, jamie, that really connected the whole show yeah, plant, was he a plant? No, no, no, what happened? No, what happens if he's not there? This special is 20% of what it is. I mean 20% less.
Speaker 1:So you're talking about my comedy special. Yeah, right before I'm about to go into a bit, sorry, okay. No, no, I'm just talking about, but we can go there Just because you brought up Guy M. Yeah, well, by the way, I saw that you do okay, never mind the bit. I saw that you were doing the same thing, which is amazing, you also. You find the game and explain to them, because that's the joke.
Speaker 1:Thank God you figured that out. So there's the joke, and then there's you explaining the joke, which everybody got anyway, and the people who aren't Jewish got it too. They got it and there was the laughter. And even if they didn't get it, they got your cadence. The comic just delivered a joke with a punchline at the end, and now you turn to them and explain to them that a mikvah is a ritual bath and they're dying, and you inaugurate them into the show. So much more. I'm so happy you picked that up, that video, that clip you sent me. I'm like, oh, he got it. He got how to do Jewish comedy, he got it Well when a show's 100% from it's harder.
Speaker 2:I need a couple, like then that video I sent you. I was opening for Elan so there was a couple non-Jews there because it was in Gotham. So they I love the Jews. They don't even realize it's a Jew night. They walk in, they're like we're in the city, we're tourists, whatever the best. First of all, they enjoy the show more than anyone else because everyone's talking to them the whole time. And that was my first opportunity to say certain jokes where the what is Tashlech and I have a funny explanation of it. But I have no premise to do it when everyone in the audience is 100% Orthodox Jews. But when there's one non-Jew there I'm like this is going to be an electric show, because I have a premise now to say all my jokes that are really for the Jews. But it's a way of it's funny to watch a Jew explain something to a non-Jew. It's amazing.
Speaker 1:It levels. It levels it up so much more. It layers the show. It layers the show. You bring them in. It's so good that you're doing that.
Speaker 2:I've been doing that forever yeah, I mean when I used to come to the cellar and watch you work out stuff.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I didn't do anything Jewish there, it was just being.
Speaker 2:It was just Jewish vibe, not Jewish material it wasn't for Jews, but there was a lot of jewish like the like.
Speaker 1:One of my favorites was was when you would kick the back of the wall in the cellar like check them under here like where the juice yeah so that's I mean, that's for non-jews, but it's jewish yeah, and it reminds everybody of the holocaust, yeah, always wherever you can remind them of the holocaust with a joke. You know I talk, I have a bit. Now that's in the new special where I mention one of the Nazis. And then you look in the audience and you see people like one of the name brand Nazis, like Goebbels, himmler, one of those, and you see people in the audience who's like I don't know what you're talking about, so you go Google it and the rest of the audience is dying Dying because they know who Joseph Mengele is. And all of a sudden you're telling a young kid who has no idea who Joseph Mengele is, you know, and that was it.
Speaker 2:Sorry, but yeah, I cut you off the cast away.
Speaker 1:No, not the cast away I was just going back to. I was going back to by the way, this is going to air before Yontif, before Rosh Hashanah oh, my least favorite.
Speaker 2:I don't do. I hate high holidays. Stop Terrible relationship with them, because I don't really subscribe to new age Judaism. Hashem loves you, no matter what Judaism. So I'm just like put me, just like put me under and like a light coma from the beginning of LL till after Yom Kippur. You're kidding me. I get so anxious. Why? Because I don't know. I hate the concept of being judged. I'm like an old school I'm only 29, but I'm like in the body of like a 75-year-old, like Mashkiah from Russia.
Speaker 1:Oh, you poor thing, you've been crazed, are you crazy? These days are unbelievable. These are the most amazing days. No, they're Yom Kippur, awful Yom Kippur. You know what Yom Kippur is? It's Satan's day off. That's how you have to view it. Don't think of it as the day of judgment, the day I have to beg for forgiveness. It's Satan. Satan has one day off and there's one day that he is celebrated. That's Tisha B'Av. That's his day of reigning. So both of those days, we do things like fasting and we fast, and we don't wear leather shoes, leather soles, so we can connect to the earth. This is too much for you. I can tell already, and so, but that's so, you know, even if you don't go to shul, just have a moment where, like this is Satan's day off, thank you God, and just like. Connect to God directly, connect to Mashiach energy directly. It's Satan's day off, yom Kippur. And I used to do the culinary services. That was the only one I would do, because it's in the evening.
Speaker 2:My voice is in. I've already eaten.
Speaker 1:I'm good. There's no like, there's no. 9 am shachris, you know, or musaf, with no food in me, and the nusach Are you a nusach?
Speaker 2:guy, you're into it. Wow, am, are you a?
Speaker 1:nusach guy you're into. Wow, am I a nusach guy? Wow, I can't even explain to you how much I love nusach. When you go Ashkenazi nusach. I don't know what the safaris are doing, but they're, and they've been doing it for three months. They're in slichos for three months. I know they've begun their yontif already for six months ago. I love this.
Speaker 2:You know how they? There's the classic joke that like because Svartamar are a lot of ichamets on Pesach and do all these things, they have to say extra slichos.
Speaker 1:Ichamets on Pesach.
Speaker 2:Whatever, and they're. But I watch the. I don't like slichos. I watch these Svarty slichos, these supermodels that are like at the Kotel. I'm like I would go to this. They hotel I'm like I would go to this. They're like svarty slichos is a vibe, it's like they go straight from the club to the slichos, right?
Speaker 1:I love I don't. It's not my, not my jam, oh my god, they're at the. I watch these videos they hit notes that no ashkenazi guy can hit. No health got. Could not hit these notes.
Speaker 1:I keep going up and up and up and up. I like a regular slichas, I like two slichas. Slichas is a service that's right before the high holidays. It means forgiveness. And so I like the Ashkenazi old school. You know the old school chazen does that slichas it's. You know I do that. Or Kalbach Yehuda Green. I love both of those and you only need one night. Okay, you don't need to do 12 nights. Wait why? I can't believe you don't connect to the holidays like that.
Speaker 2:Huh, I just don't like. I was saying like this when, when I see, when I see, when I see, when I see, when I see, and everyone's like dance. I don't know what they're saying I'm like I didn't know this was an option, like in my mind. Is that old European? Yeah, like hunched over like every sin I did the whole year and like that's how I I don't know, that's what it is, yeah.
Speaker 1:I love the old chazan. I love the cantors that yell and whisper. They're either yelling or whispering. You have no connection to the service at all, so I don't have no connection I go to Niila every year.
Speaker 2:My dad dives into Niila. Since I'm born, oh wow. So that's very meaningful to me. Yeah. When you know the person and you know, what's on their mind then it's a different experience.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:So I go every year. I can't miss that. I did one year. So my dad's the rabbi of the shul. It's a big shul in New Jersey, it's like 400 families and the custom for the end services is often davened by the rabbi of the shul and he's surrounded by the president and the vice president.
Speaker 2:I always wanted to dava nila next to my dad. I always wanted to be one of those people like right next to him. So go up there. So one year, pesach time, the seder, I stole the afikoman, okay, and the customarily, you're supposed to negotiate with it. So my dad said, okay, what? Okay, what do you want me to buy you? I was like I'm 26.
Speaker 2:My dad gets me whatever I want and I said I want you to boot the vice president. I want to dive in the other next year. But he's like let's shoot a rule or whatever, but there's plenty of room up there. No, I wanted to be the guy right next to him standing and so he went to the vice president. I don't know how to say this to you, I feel, because it's a nobody wants to shoot the president of the shul. This is like a feature. That is like people want it. They're like this is why I became president, so I don't want to deal with all the bureaucracy. I want to dab in Neela next to the rough. He said I'll make it up to you however I can, but my son wouldn't give me that if he called me back until I promised he could die with him next time. That was a very special Yom Kippur.
Speaker 1:Just so people know, nila, it's the closing Linol to lock. You're locking the the gates of.
Speaker 2:Whatever?
Speaker 1:Or your fate in the book of life, whatever your connection to what Nila means to that moment. And it's the last prayer and you stand the whole time and whoever opens the curtain for the Torah, it's a big aliyah, that's a guy who cut a check he cut a check and it's a hard. It's so funny because it's like an entire nusach that doesn't exist and it's very similar to yont.
Speaker 1:It's like this and now people are going to write it that's from Tfilatal. That's from Tfilatal? Yeah, Because Tfilatal and the prayer for rain and the prayer for dew has that same thing but just a little bit different. I forgot that.
Speaker 2:It's so stuck in my head, though, like I'll be in the shower, I'll belt out an ilah, because it's like your earliest stuff.
Speaker 1:That Like.
Speaker 2:I didn't gasp. It's all your earliest stuff that Like, like. Yeah, that's the music.
Speaker 1:If that's in my apartment, it's Leo walking around and me just screaming all day long. I just if some song comes in my head, some nusr, some piece of, I am just belting it out.
Speaker 2:Always my older roommates all hated me for that. There's a, the. Do you know the singer, naftali Kempa? Yeah, so he repopularized the big part of that that like Shari Shamaim song. So it's that one that every. How's it go? The. You know the ones everyone's singing. It's such an amazing song. Amazing song that's from Nila.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know where it's from. Thank you very much. I wasn't sure where that was from. Thank God you're here today. Not invited back. It's so good. By the way, I want to bring up another. We did not talk about Mashiach yet, okay, sorry, so that's not a good thing. Okay, the way we can tell that we are really, really in the time of Mashiach is the music. Jewish music is, on another level, on fire. It's on fire.
Speaker 2:People are like, wow, I was with Mordechai Shapiro the other night. No, I think he's. I think he like kind of brought it Jewish music to what it is today, because he was the first like real pop star celebrity. Really he could hold a crowd and like he could. He could hold a crowd and like he could was a really one that like could. Bruno Mars a concert with just like Jewish songs and I. He has an album with Freilich Orchestra. One of the like Tune of Body. Orchestra yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And it's they put out like their best wedding hits. Yes, when I run, when I jog, that's all I listen to, I listen, I pretend I'm at my wedding. I don't know what I'm going to listen to after my wedding and I go through my whole first and second dancing. First I'm going to dance to my dad that's this song, then my shver, whoever he is, and then that's what I'm listening to and it's so good.
Speaker 1:So, by the way, anybody listening to this, if you're on a treadmill, bored out of your mind, you go into the Jewish music Shalemi Daskal. Yes, shalemi, dance with me, daskal.
Speaker 2:Yes Shall, we dance with Daskal. Oh my.
Speaker 1:God, I could do an hour and a half on that music. There's one called Beats, b-e-a-t-s. It's like a black and red. I forgot the name of the artist and I feel horrible because I know the guy, he's a good one. I have ADHD, so my brain doesn't get the names. It doesn't come together. Beats it's called Beats, it'sassidic music, and he bam, bam, bam, bam bam. And you just go and you're on the train. I'm singing in full volume at equinox and I see leo working and goes like like that's jewish music is on another level and then another, and the dovi newberger of jewish music is a guy who's been on the podcast meditorski meditorski I wasversky.
Speaker 1:I was with him yesterday.
Speaker 2:We just shot a video together. You did, yeah, meshich.
Speaker 1:Energy. I look at that you and Mendy Tversky are doing a video together. Meshich's coming tomorrow. He's here, Wait, wait wait what was the video.
Speaker 2:He's so talented, he's so young. I don't know Yiddish, yeah, so he's trying to teach me these raps in Yiddish and I say them and I'm like this is a different level. He's so talented.
Speaker 1:So talented, I'm telling you you're a Kali, you're a vessel for a gift. God put this gift in. Mendy Torski Happens to me. The kid looks great.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he has the payas on has payas with no payas. He has big payas with with no like, with no no sideburns.
Speaker 1:So it's on the fade. Yeah, it's on the fade. He puts the payas and the music is insane. Yeah, and he did a concert in uh in Jerusalem. I was. I was plugging people go see him. He's great on another level too and everyone listens to him.
Speaker 2:There, he was telling me, because it's hard, it's challenging for him, he has to. He has a lot of rules. Like I don't really have any rules to play by. Like people come to my show, they don't. There's like a vod in Israel who decides whose music gets played and who doesn't. And you have to. You have to play by their rules. You can't sing about certain things you can't like. So he's a four Haredi.
Speaker 1:He's a four Haredi. He knows his audience, amen, he knows his audience and he nails it. And people who aren't like, I turned my agent onto him and he's not Jewish. It's just a great beat, right, and the song has a really good meaning too. He's constantly working and he's got this whole crew and team with him and, um, ricky rose so he told me about ricky.
Speaker 2:I don't know her so much. Ricky rose is just, she's like the schwesters.
Speaker 1:She's. She's like the schwesters, but she's again. It's a. It's a gift that got put into a vessel. Here's ricky rose.
Speaker 2:Here's a gift that god gave you. Every time you say that makes me think of, like you know, those gveers sorry, uh wealthy, that you ask them what they do and they say I don't do. I'm just a kli to be makabal, the chef of the Ribbon of Moshul. I'm just a vessel to receive, and I'm like I'm a vessel too. Where's my chef, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:It's when you're sitting with a billionaire and you ask him so what do you do? And they go. What do you do for a living? He goes. I'm more worried about giving away my money rather than making money.
Speaker 2:I'm right here, I'm like.
Speaker 1:I can relieve all that worry for you. I can take all that worry away from you. Speaking of vessel, of a gift of God, we went to go see the Gaga show. Okay, yeah, we were just talking about this before. I'm going to talk about that with Leo, because we have to at one point yo next level.
Speaker 2:I've never been to any of these.
Speaker 1:You understand something. So this is where how my head. We had amazing seats, Live Nation gave us two free tickets and let us buy a whole bunch of tickets, so we brought all of Leo's sisters in from wherever they were and you're doing the jackie mason cash winning a hundred dollars a ticket. 50 000 seats no, I was doing a different cashman, I was doing a different. Okay. So look I, my husband is. There's a theater of 500, 800, 1200, 2000.
Speaker 2:That's like what my head works, the garden's 15 000 seats, 20000, 20, oh cuz they take out.
Speaker 1:So I'm sitting there and I'm looking at a section and before the show and I'm counting the rows and over I go, that's so. That's, that's a 500 seat theater. That's in that plus that is 800 seats, and then there's an entire arena still left, like I'm doing that in monaco, I'm doing that in san francisco, I'm doing that that little area right and she's doing this 20 and she sold out four nights and she's adding more shows and it's wow, it blows your mind away. It blow. And and so we I posted the mayhem concert is Moshiach Energy and of course, anybody that was there was like 100%, it was total Moshiach Energy and like three people and those are the three that got right under Leo's skin Like how can you say it's Moshiach Energy? It's Kal Isha and it's the woman's voice and it's not Jewish music and you've never been to a Jewish concert. Are jewish music and you've never been to a jewish concert, and are you insane? 20 000 people in the same harmony and vibe and therefore the celebrating this gift of god.
Speaker 2:It doesn't get more mashiach energy than that this was the night after tate mcrae at the garden. That that's where everyone like under 19 was, and then they. It was gaga was the next night.
Speaker 2:I think yeah, yeah yeah that those I get those dms where, like, where people totally miss what I'm saying. Yes, I just posted a Stitch like a reaction video. This Asian lady was in one of these Jews for Jesus church and she was singing Haftorah. She says the bracha and it cuts to me. She says the bracha and she goes Amen and it cuts to me and I'm like you're really not supposed to answer Amen to your own bracha, which is like an inside baseball orthodox joke. And it's hilarious because, like for the people I'm talking to also, women don't read from the Torah, like it was, but everyone like started texting me as if, like I didn't. You're like, technically there's a lot more halachic problems with that.
Speaker 1:If I ever want interaction, I just I. When I quote something from the Bible, even if from the Torah, even if I know where it's from, I'll see a different place where it's from, and they just all start sending me it's Deuteronomy 13.5 and it's da-da-da-da, and they're just oh, they can't wait, yeah so you went to Gaga. Just keep rolling but thank the sponsors. Oh okay, oh okay, leo, are we just doing two podcasts here? We just sing, leo. Are we just doing two hours?
Speaker 2:Just keep going, okay okay, okay, do you want to?
Speaker 1:The reason we can hang here Not the reason we can hang here, but one of the reasons that we hang here and there's Mashiach energy involved in us chilling together is, in part, thanks to. That was a horrible entrance, god, that was awful.
Speaker 2:We just want to thank Whites in Luxembourg because we spoke about Vacation Village, where they keep all the asbestos behind the stage and that keeps all that asbestos behind the stage and that keeps all that asbestos keeps whites and luxembourg in business and helps us sponsor the podcast here. So if you do have asbestos, either bring it to vacation village, but call whites and luxembourg because they could probably get you a check okay, a and h provisions and a and h provisions you&H yeah of course A&H provisions.
Speaker 2:If you ever go to a baseball game and you hear all the Jews, you should eat the kosher hot dogs. They're a lot cleaner. I don't know if that's true. I never tried a non-kosher hot dog, but everyone likes kosher hot dogs. A&h provisions. Kosherdogsnet Use code 30% your first order. Use code Modi For 30% off your first order.
Speaker 1:30% off your first order and if you want, to go on a tour of the factory, Seth will take you. He's so proud of this factory.
Speaker 2:A tour of the hot dogs.
Speaker 1:He said to me You'll never eat another hot dog. He says to me, you know? He said when he became our sponsor. He says come see the factory and see how amazing it is. I go, I promise you. That is the deal breaker. I am not going to a kosher, but people go and the merch is good.
Speaker 2:The deal with me eating a hot dog is that nobody tells. I hate the guys that when I'm about to eat a hot dog, I like with the mustard underneath the sauerkraut, and then there's always one vegan girl like do you know, it's just all the extra fat and garbage from the rest of the animal. They just put it in the hot dog. I'm like that's what makes it delicious. Don't tell me.
Speaker 1:So you're moving that moment you go, nobody likes you. That's how you enter that and let them simmer on that. Let them simmer on that and we're just going to pop through here. Thank you for that Great plug with Bites and Likes, of course. He's so funny. Lush and Hara. I love Lush and Hara.
Speaker 2:You know that's my thing, I know you do I put out that video right before Tisha B'Av? That people didn't. I, my favorite part, people. When Tisha B'Av's over, they like we can eat now. We can shower now. Nine days we're not allowed to have. I grew up with a real nine days no hot showers, still cold showers. My parents, if there was no like you, would only wear dirty clothing. They would tell us in camp take your shirt and throw it on the floor. I would stomp on my shirt before I promise.
Speaker 1:This is how I this is why my whole life that was your thing, so your parents' thing was the nine days.
Speaker 2:Oh, it was everything. Oh, we were speaking about big houses before. I had to mention this before I move on. Anytime when I would walk with my mom in growing up we'd pass a mansion. There was one house in Teaneck with mansions called Winthrop whatever it's like the back Lawrence of Teaneck. Anytime we'd pass a house, I would be like wow, and my mom would look at it and go I feel bad for this. Can you imagine cleaning this for Pesach? I never hunt these people. And.
Speaker 2:I would say, I promise you, whoever owns that house has never cleaned for Pesach in their life.
Speaker 1:For sure. No, but that was a joke I had. When you watch Qaysh's shows like the Crown yeah, you see the establishing shot of the palace, Like who's cleaning this?
Speaker 2:How palace like who's cleaning this?
Speaker 1:how do you heat? That's my mom. How do you heat this? Yeah, how do you heat? That's what I was thinking about, because I was watching us now wait, so can we just go back? Okay, we're going back um the house in in the five towns. So my, my, my friend built this house and it's and I he's like he, his, his grandparents were survivors and he grew up with them speaking to them in yiddish, so that's like that's in the go back fake passports.
Speaker 2:Cash for the next holocaust.
Speaker 1:He's giving me a tour of the house and he has a basement which is rare in the five towns. People don't usually have basements because of flood zones, whatever the hell, I don't know the reason it's just after Sandy.
Speaker 2:They get money. The government will give you a certain amount of money for your house if you don't build a basement. So they build in a legal basement and everyone has a shul in the basement of their house in cement.
Speaker 1:But it's not a basement, it's not finished.
Speaker 2:But, there's an Aran Kodesh and chairs. I'm telling you go down, there's an Aran Kodesh there.
Speaker 1:But he just did rooms. He has in his basement 46 rooms, full rooms, not like a joke, like wallpaper rugs, like built-in beds with the lights and everything with the built-in. I mean I said to him Are you opening a yeshiva? What do you have all these rooms for? He has no idea. We go to the next level and behind the whatever it was rooms, just endless rooms, right For when their kids get married, they can have them all in the same roof.
Speaker 2:Seder night. The whole house is for when my grandkids get married. I want all my great grandkids under one roof for one night. Yeah, if that was happening.
Speaker 1:I would leave that, I'd put them all in there and then I'd go somewhere else. I'd go to a Pesach program. Everybody come to our house and we're going to a Pesach program. There's one really funny place, so they built the house, and upstairs is the master bedroom. But before you walk in the master bedroom there's like a little porch. It's in the house. There's like a little porch with like a little banister and I call it the Bible shill, the women's synagogue.
Speaker 1:That's what it looks like Because all of a sudden you have a banister overlooking the entire house. It's like the women who are like he's too fat for her.
Speaker 2:But that's when he makes a vart, when he's starting an engagement party for his daughter. That's what happens.
Speaker 1:The men are downstairs and the women just go upstairs. Yeah wait, he built the pool. So, by the way, leo and I bought a house last year. So I've never owned a house, you know how insane a house is the headache. No, it's a. It's a bracha. What's wrong with you? It's a bracha to have a home. Maintaining it is you. You need to give it like where's your house in connecticut?
Speaker 1:okay, but yep, he built the pool, so I have a pool now. And to maintain a pool, it's a thing. Hey, we have to shock the water, we have to the guy comes in.
Speaker 2:We're gonna get a little urinal cubes every day, or?
Speaker 1:something. No, it's like a little. Anyway, yo, he has an acre. I think he bought the backyard of the neighbor behind him to build this pool. The pool looks like any one of those dating shows with the Bachelorette or whatever, and it's light and he's got the lights on this phone making this thing go up and down and you can literally like call aliens from the lighting from this pool. Yeah, Is it a?
Speaker 1:waterfall. No, it has like the within it. He has the. So the pool itself? Yeah, so the pool itself is 120 degrees and then the hot tub is 190 degrees no no, he's not going into a cold pool.
Speaker 1:He's not going into, and you know how much it costs to heat a pool off. It's heated 360, never off. And so I walk in the back and his daughters are there. So I go oh, your daughters are there, we shouldn't go back there. The daughters are in full long sleeve, long dress in the pool, like it was shrimp glide, swim glider. Swim glide, swim glider. You don't know yiddish, huh? I? Don't know, is that on? Your resume.
Speaker 2:Does not know, yiddish is that on the resume he does not know conversational yiddish like hasidic yiddish is like what yiddish is. And then there's like, like I grew up in a family like where yiddish was like learning yiddish. It was like very litvish yiddish like yiddish. Like my brothers all went to yeshiva where they heard shir in yiddish, like so it's not yiddish that makes sense to anyone who's speaking yiddish on the street right now. The best, the best way to learn yiddish that makes sense to anyone who's speaking Yiddish on the street Right.
Speaker 1:No, the best way to learn Yiddish, sit with a Chabad guy and the Rebbe's Sikhas the Rebbe's, it's the best Yiddish. How do you?
Speaker 1:learn Yiddish. That's how you learn Yiddish. We had it in the house with the grandparents and then I went to BU and out of nowhere my grades were horrible. I was the worst student and it was a miracle I got into BU. It's much harder to get in there now, but they had a Yiddish class. I took that nonstop and it helped my grades Because I had, like you know, and the teacher loved me and I learned grammar and stuff like that. But then you learn the Rebbe Sikhas and that's the best way to learn Yiddish. But hold on.
Speaker 2:Okay, what else do we that I have? Oh, you were saying something about the royal family. Oh, we were talking about that before. The royal family is a very Jewish thing. Aren't they. Because every, every Jewish mom acts like Kate Midd, her from-daughter-in-law, and Meghan Markle is like the shiksa that married in Like fuck. I have this fight with my mom all the time because guys like Meghan Markle more, because, like she's, hot, she's hot, she's crazy.
Speaker 1:A little, yeah, crazy. I think Kate Middleton's much hotter. She's prettier.
Speaker 2:She's not hotter, she's so elegant and so like she's regal, that's.
Speaker 1:We were at a dinner one night and someone just yelled that if you had to be a woman, what woman would it be? Kate Middleton, it was also before she had cancer. Oh, kate Middleton, that's it. You're married to the king, you gave birth to a king. It's no joke, b'chol. Just so you should know my whole take on the royal family. This is my, your zug, my zug on the royal family. This is my, your zug, my zug on the royal family. Okay, god created the royal family from beginning King Henry, the took us to the King Henry the 5th to the 9th, to the 12th, and this one.
Speaker 1:Charles and Moish, and this and that, and for one reason, one reason only, for the show the Crown, the show. There's a show on Netflix called the Crown.
Speaker 1:Which is their entire lives lives. I don't know how many seasons it is. I've watched it and re-watched five times. It's the best show in the world. It's reality or it's it's. It's their whole lives. It's shot so beautiful. God gave us the royal family just so that Netflix could do the Crown. That's my whole zog on that. I'll be putting that out there. Have you seen the Crown?
Speaker 2:Never.
Speaker 1:Wow, wow, you never saw Goyim. It's Goyim on another level, it's real Goyim.
Speaker 2:It's real Goyim.
Speaker 1:We used to call him.
Speaker 2:We used to say Goyder, right Goyder.
Speaker 1:What Did we ever discuss? Goyim, on different levels of Goyim.
Speaker 2:And the Gomorora I was going to write about. I was going to write no, we never discussed it, but there, but there is like there's 100, not all, there's not all going long there's ones that wash their car on saturday. That's like a real. That's the, the top level. I mean there's the royal family. Then I'm trying to think of like what I.
Speaker 1:So this is. I know where this is going to go, but this is like one time I I was going to write a gemara about goyim and it's like not all goyim are the same level of goishkeit, you understand. So there's ones that grew up in a Jewish neighborhood. They know holidays, they know what this, they know they can't turn the lights on, and then there's so the gemara was going to start Achri hoidu Oy Medim Eitz. Achrei Hoidu Oy Medim Eitz. After Hoidu Thanksgiving Oy Medim Eitz, if you're selling Christmas trees after Thanksgiving, you're another level. You're like this is a Goy. Achrei Hoidu Oy Medim Eitz, you're selling Christmas trees. Now why is it Achrei Hoidu after Hoidu after Thanksgiving? Because it's a. Now, if he was a little more Jewish he's Lifnei Hoidu he would start selling before Thanksgiving, exactly it didn't go anywhere Because a guy selling.
Speaker 1:Do you ever see the guy that sells the Christmas trees?
Speaker 2:Only in football commercials.
Speaker 1:You never walked in the street and saw a guy sell?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, in the city, here I see them yeah.
Speaker 1:So you understand that they come from Maine and if they're 24 hours between Christmas and Thanksgiving, they're standing out there freezing, with no showers and a porta potty selling a tree. How much should you be making? What's the profit on this tree? And they wrap it it making on. What's the profit on this tree?
Speaker 2:and they wrap it. It's the craziest thing in the world. The christmas tree, yeah, but yeah, I mean I, when I was in israel for there, I missed, I missed that but you live in new york city, you've seen them selling yeah on the corners I have, I thought those were. I thought that was like ranny street. I thought it was the same guys in like chinatown that sell like like fake bags.
Speaker 1:No christmas trees you wow, it's the most craziest thing in the world that this guy's selling trees outside there. It's like a bunch of them. They're all dressed in like pla and no one's wearing a heavy coat. They're like this so the button down with a t-shirt underneath and a jersey it's like a.
Speaker 1:It's like the Lulav Shuk to me yeah, but that's one day, this is a whole month of it. I don't know. We're kind of like getting to. Oh, so my father, I told you, banged his foot.
Speaker 1:So right away, go to the Rebbe and change all the mezuzahs, not change, check the mezuzahs. And there was a guy and I'm like, oh God, I'm going to my parents' house now, I take all the mezuzahs out and bring it to a site for me to bring it back. And my friend, god, just I had a phone call with a friend who had all the mezuzahs checked by a guy that comes to the house, moshe Lieberman, I don't know, it was from God. I called the guy up, went to the house, set him, set shop up in my mom's kitchen or dining room and checked all the mezuzahs from 6 pm to 11 30. Okay, there's a, there's a two, two orthodox guys sitting in my mother's house with they have x-ray machines and they have all kinds of it's. Just, it's an insane thing that it's so amazing. No, check your mezuzahs. If we can take it away from this check your mizzuzah.
Speaker 2:It's a thing I went I the one time I checked my it's filling in my life, my, my father just got back from israel. Yeah, he had he's we're not really big like mccobble people, but he but someone had taken him to mccobble and he was like giving them, he was giving them a couple, all the names of, like his kids. Yeah, and uh, he said something I was going through at the time. I think he like something to do with like yeshiva das, which just means like, uh, I have like a lot, like I'm an anxious person, so he's like, you know, he would love like he would love to just feel more settled. So mccouple told him to. Uh, mccouple is the guy that's sorry.
Speaker 1:A cabalist. A cabalist, somebody who who's well-versed in the mystical teachings of the religion.
Speaker 2:So the Makubal said to you so he said to tell Dovi to get his tefillin checked. Yes, so my tefillin came back. Fine, the sofa. I gave the bag to Tefillin. He said his tefillin are fine.
Speaker 2:The problem is you're not supposed to keep anything in the bag with the tefillin. No, but if I don't want to lose something, I put it with my tefillin. If I have something I cannot lose. What kind of crap did you have in there? I have one thing there.
Speaker 2:I had a card with my Dorya Sharm number on it. Do you know what Dorya Sharm is? Dorya Sharm is the Hasidic organization that when you start dating they test your blood for what carriers. But if you lose that card, they can you have to go back and get retail. You can never get it back. It's an old system. You call a number, they also like it's a Hasidic system. They don't want you, they don't tell you what you're a carrier for, anything. You have to call an anonymous hotline and with your number and the girl's number, and often you do it before you even go out and give them and they tell you if you're a match or not. But they give you this card with your number on it and they say if you lose this, you're done. So that was what was in my filling bag, wow. So I took it out and now I lost it. I don't have it. You're kidding, I don't know it's so funny.
Speaker 1:I have a gift I got from Robbie Gamal Balhanes in there. I'm going to put it somewhere else.
Speaker 2:It's so funny Because that's the thing you never lose. So, if you like, that's where I would keep.
Speaker 1:My friend had a mezuzah upside down. She couldn't have kids. The mezuzah was kosher, but it was upside down and then she turned it down.
Speaker 2:And after she had, did you have?
Speaker 1:kids after Four more kids. Wow, yeah crazy. But a mezuzah and a lottery ticket are like almost the same.
Speaker 2:Why you saw my joke about the mezuzah. I sent you no With my dad and whatever.
Speaker 1:Oh yes, I am surprised you went there. Let's go back to that in a minute. But I was very shocked that you used that certain substance in your joke. I was like, wow, this kid has much more balls than me, much more balls than me. Wait, we'll get there in a minute. A mezuzah okay, the mezuzah is the cloth inside on the door, the holiest part of the Old Testament.
Speaker 2:The holiest part of the Old Testament and it's hero, israel.
Speaker 1:The Lord, our God, the Lord is one. You're saying that God is oneness and that oneness is going to protect your home. And you check it and by checking it says I understand that there's a higher power. And this is my saying. I'm going to go check this now just to make sure that I to show my connection to it. So there was a whole thing now with the big mega dollar thing, mega bucks. I don't know the big lottery that was just drawn. It was 1.7 billion. Okay, people only buy ones at 1.7 billion dollars.
Speaker 2:Every time Right right right, there's some guy at the Shabbos table. You know, after taxes it's not that much.
Speaker 1:Very true. But when you buy a lottery ticket, you just don't don't be like I'm buying, I'm gonna. You buy a lottery ticket, you're saying to God, I'm open to receive, I'm in it, I'm in it. I buy lottery tickets. Every time that happens and I throw it in the drawer and then like if they all of a sudden say, hey, the winning lottery ticket was purchased in Soho, I'm gonna go look at my ticket. But otherwise I keep them there and then once in a while I grab the whole packet and bring it to get to check them and I usually win $20 or $30 or $2 or $1. And it's fun. But it also just says to God like I'm open to it. You know, there's a joke, a big old joke, with the rabbi that asks to win the lottery. No, which one?
Speaker 1:There's a rabbi begging God to win the lottery. Please let me win the lottery. I'll rebuild the synagogue, I'll give money to the orphans and I'll feed all the families and Shabbos will be free for everybody. And he doesn't win. Next week again, begs and Beto, let me win this lottery. I need the money. I'll just do chesed and love for everything, nothing. Third week again, and by the third week I can't believe I didn't win. And God turns to me and goes help me out, buy a ticket. It's one of the oldest jokes, but it's a winning lottery ticket.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the mezuzah thing, that joke, the way I said it, I'm never able to say it that way. Set them up, let them know what you're talking about. But I have this joke where I'm. The concept is explaining like the fights you get when with your parents as you get older. And it's about my dad coming to tell me that my mizuza is not is. It's too low, it should really be higher. And I say, okay, but the mizuza is full of cocaine.
Speaker 2:And when I said it there because there was an andrew there, I was able to give the prelude to it where I said let me explain to him. It was this there's a we take the holiest part of the old testament and we we take a dead goat skin and we write it on and we wrap it up and then we put it on the door and it provides protection in the whole jewish house. And then I turned to the guy when I go. It doesn't always work. I'm sure you've been watching the news Hilarious, but I never get to say that that way, unless there's a non-Jew there, a non-Jew in the room right, because you can also take to the Jews.
Speaker 1:It obviously doesn't work, as we've seen, but usually people say because you know, if you have a clear mezuzah it looks like a joint.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:That's how I thought of the joke.
Speaker 2:Right, and I I would say that, but you to use the word cocaine, yeah is a very strong word I found strong it's like boom, you know, like people always say and I've even spoken to you about it like there's no reason to curse, you don't need to be dirty, and like of course, there are comedians that are successful without it. The joke I sent you, like there's a joke in there where I say, where the punchline is have sex with, I think and it gets a mega laugh when I say it like that I've done it and from our audience I say sleep with or hook up with, it's just not the same but it has really it just punches a different way right, so so certain words that people like in their brains, they react to, and that's hilarious right.
Speaker 1:So it's much funnier than I. I have a joke about the neighbor upstairs and I go. I've been banging him for three weeks.
Speaker 2:I've tried everything else yeah, and that was the best.
Speaker 1:The f word is too shocking and dirty for them. The sleeping with him is not strong enough. Banging is very good, it's the middle ground it's the middle ground.
Speaker 2:So when I saw I was wondering if, when you said when you would do it in the cellar like you were practicing that one, would you say banging, or did it hit better with effing?
Speaker 1:it hits better with banging because, especially the cellar, they're like why wouldn't he just say effing? Because they're like thinking in their own, they're in their own heads. But those shows that you were talking about, the one like I want to do first of all, I can't do any shows in New York City until Radio City Music Hall. Oh, Broadway.
Speaker 2:That will be my first.
Speaker 1:Broadway show. Okay, the fact that you call that a Broadway show is so, it's so unwell. It really shows you call. Radio City a Broadway show Okay, so let me teach you here.
Speaker 2:That's what I say. Alex Adelman was on Broadway A.
Speaker 1:Broadway show is any theater over 500 seats. It's called a Broadway show. If it's smaller, it's an off-Broadway show. If it's even smaller than that, it's an off-off-Broadway show. Radio City Music Hall is an arena. It's 6,500 people On Broadway. It's 6,500 people On Broadway. It's not on Broadway. It's on 6th and between 5th and 6th the Broadway district is over.
Speaker 2:Over a bit more. Yeah, so it has nothing to do with Broadway. It has nothing to do with Broadway.
Speaker 1:Oh my bad. Yeah, it's an arena.
Speaker 2:It's where people go for one night or two nights or in December I went there once to watch the Knicks watch party.
Speaker 1:Where.
Speaker 2:In Radio City.
Speaker 1:No, you went to Madison Square.
Speaker 2:Garden. No, no, no, the Knicks when they had away games during the playoffs. All the Knicks fans in Manhattan come to Radio City and watch it on the break screen together For real. Yeah, it's like for Also during home games. It's like for also during home games. It's for like. It's like for poor people that can't afford real tickets. Want to feel like, want to connect to something. Oh, yeah, I can't even imagine. And you?
Speaker 2:know the CMHS. They have the main one, and then you're in a different room watching the live stream. Right, that's what that is.
Speaker 1:I got you Okay, so you've been there. It's an insane venue of a cheese store. Call me 100%. I would love to do that Because I can't do, like the Town Hall or Beacon, any of that stuff. Until then, let's start wrapping this up. This was we went super long right 1.30 to okay, maybe we'll do two things.
Speaker 1:We're going to thank our sponsors again Weitz and Luxembourg. The law firm not only does well, they do good, super philanthropic, and they're friends and family of this podcast. Weitzluxcom A&H Provisions. We love you, seth, and the food's amazing. The packages delivered to people as a gift, like a mid-year shulch, manas. It's so beautiful how they send it with the packaging and he puts a hat in there and a shirt and the food's unbelievably delicious. Kosherdogsnet. Maybe we'll split this up into two. Part one. Part two Dovi and Modi. What are you plugging? What's going on?
Speaker 1:I'm plugging have you opened any new comedy clubs?
Speaker 2:I've seen you. That one was a little bit of a disaster. What happened? I don't know. I don't know what's going on with it. There's a little machlakesh at the top, so I need to figure that out. So, behemoth, let me tell you something.
Speaker 1:Comedians who aren't that funny end up having to promote and do shows. Yeah. In order for them to have a show, they need to make a show. Right a show. They need to make a show right or when you're starting out though.
Speaker 2:Okay, but you're already, you're gonna get booked on shows you're already a sham.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you got it, so focus, I yeah, not being a a comedy club owner oh yeah, it's, but yeah, that's the worst part it's, it's horrible, yeah, horrible.
Speaker 2:It's a hard frame of mind when you're like going, when I'm going into a show that I produced, I'm hosting, and I'm worrying about folding chairs. I'm like I'm trying to get my set right, like do I say the joke about my mom before the cocaine, after the cocaine, and someone comes in, you want the white chairs or the black chairs?
Speaker 2:It's very hard, oh my God. But so I'm going. I'm doing two, the alga minor journal, two college campus shows, boston and philly alga minor journal and which is a yiddish newspaper, yeah, so they're. They're trying to get to the next generation. So we're doing college campus shows but they're a very religious paper.
Speaker 3:No, the alga minor is the there's, the there's the forward, and there's the alga minor.
Speaker 1:I'll go minor.
Speaker 2:I think that there it is the rebbe was into it, but it wasn't a religious organization I got you okay.
Speaker 1:So, thegamino, you're doing a show for them.
Speaker 2:We're hopefully doing a tour. So we're doing. Tickets are live for that. That's really for college and grad kids. That's in Philly and Boston. I'm in LA in December for EULA Comedy Night. Come hear me there. I'm in Chicago.
Speaker 1:Where can they see all these shows? Where can they get tickets?
Speaker 2:for this, uh, your website where they get you gotta follow me on instagram in my bio and stuff it's in your bio, so tell them what it is at dovi newberger on instagram. Um, I'll be in miami. I don't know the dates for all these, but I'll be in miami for, I think, high lifeline high lifeline.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, I was just reading. I I well, I know the podcast officially over, but I was just reading when you were going. Anybody say anything? Have you seen anything? This is so nice, this is why you do. Someone said there's nothing. Well, you can start wrapping it up. Yeah, okay, no, but someone just wrote that my wife's last concert was your show in pittsburgh and she passed away two months, two weeks later, to my, to me yeah, oh, thank you, you, thank you.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry your wife passed away, but there's nothing that makes me happier than, like it was the last show my grandfather saw, or it's my grandfather's 80th birthday, or I brought my son to see your show for the first time. I'm the first comic they ever saw. I'm the first comic he ever saw, by the way, I just did a bar mitzvah, you did a bar mitzvah, I did a bar mitzvah no way. I missed it was so good, I just did wait, wait, wait, wait. This kid have you listen to me.
Speaker 1:Listen to me. My agent calls up because it's a bar mitzvah and goes, they're paying. Listen to me. Listen to me. My agent calls up, it's the bar mitzvah and goes, they're paying. The kid does not want his sister's had like at the Harmony Club, massive. And the kid wants. He doesn't want a basketball player or whatever that they bring for bar mitzvahs today. He goes. He wants steak and modi, that's it. And they push him. The father's doing well and was able, that's it. And they Bukhushan. The father's doing well and was able to afford it. And we set up at Reserve Cut. I'm not going to mention their names. He set up at. They took the entire Reserve Cut, midtown. Okay.
Speaker 1:They did the screen in the back. Have you been there To Midtown?
Speaker 2:yeah, so, like they have in the back it there, it's in the town, yeah, so like they have in the back, it's like a bar.
Speaker 1:It's where all the wines are, and then they so like they copied that on a screen, but how'd they get?
Speaker 1:it like tight for you. It was they. It was only 70 people, 50 people, yeah, but the kid loved it. I was like I'm so happy, like his story will be. My bar mitzvah was modi. That's what I wanted. I didn't want any bands and singers and and doing the limbo whatever the hell they do there. You know, um, wow, I was so good, so good and they were great and the father was cool and the mother was cool. Great opening line I had, so they had had the montage, which is like, and to watch the montage when there's guys in the room.
Speaker 2:So the montage Barbara's montage is so uncomfortable for everyone else there your kid's in the bath. Are we supposed to look at the montage, or are we not supposed?
Speaker 1:to the kid's 13 years old and they made a 14 minute montage. That means every year got over a minute, it's year got over a minute. It's so crazy. But the great opening line was so the montage. Like usually in the montage the father's like there's young couple and the father starts balding and getting fat and but the father started looking better and better in every picture. Oh yeah. So I said to the father I go you, it looks like you transformed into being gay by the end of the thing. He looked good, he had the beard looking nice it was. It was a nice compliment. The wife just looked the same the entire whole 14 years and it was just such a great thing to do. And it's in the city and it like and gigs like that cover, gigs that don't make money, like when you do a show in Warsaw there's no money, you're not making money, this kind of covers that it's great, the reason I was thinking about it.
Speaker 2:So I just did a Sheva Rechos. I mean, I do a ton of Sheva Rechos. I just did a Sheva Rechos, a Hasidic Sheva Rechos. Separate seating, and I hate it. Post-wedding party.
Speaker 1:Sheva Rechos.
Speaker 2:Separate seating. I can't stand separate seating. They're very hard. Nobody laughs when they're only sitting next to men. This gig was actually very good. It's actually very good. But I got there and the guy starts explaining to me what you told me, right? He starts explaining well, the Hasen and Kala. The father has a company and she works there, so we invited a few of the employees that are going to be there also. So it's not all and I'm like it's a Shavuot Rechos, but you need to write it off, so it's a holiday party. And he's like yeah, how'd you know? I'm like Modi told me 100%.
Speaker 1:That's my favorite. And, by the way, when you do a show into split audience, so you're supposed to angle, they say to you in Yiddish don't look in the eyes of the women, don't deliver a joke to a woman's eyes. You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 2:That's what he says to you but you know what I'm saying? That's what he says to you, but it wasn't such a like you said.
Speaker 1:They all get there Like we're not so religious, we're not that religious, we're not that, we're not, I'm not that from, I'm not that from, but it's, oh, it's, so good you can work off of the back and forth. And I say to the men the women are dying, none of you are getting this. Jokes, love, that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2:There was one man sitting with the women's section. Lehachis. Yeah, so what's your deal? He's like I'm gay.
Speaker 1:Did he really say?
Speaker 2:that no.
Speaker 1:Okay, we're wrapping this up. I am on tour. I cannot. This summer has been amazing. If this goes on before, first of all, if this goes on before Yom Kippur, rosh Hashanah, everybody have an amazing holiday. Moshiach, energy, whatever you do, do something, just like, do something to celebrate it. Sixth Street Synagogue, my shul, go online If you need a place to go. It's amazing. We're having dinner on the 22nd. I'll be there. I'll probably be there even that night. Shout out, gav.
Speaker 2:Belino. Shout out to Gav Belino Moshiach energy rabbi, and then what I said, arshad Khan, I think Gav Belino. Is he? I think he was the first one to show you a video of mine, Maybe maybe I'll take.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sure, I'm on tour. There's a lot of private shows coming on before which don't involve anybody that's not listening to this, but then we are in Vancouver, seattle, san Francisco, we have Atlanta shooting. We're shooting a special. I think there's one or two, three, five tickets left on December 10th and 11th, and then there's other shows happening. So just go online. Modilifecom. Be the friend that brings the friends to the comedy show. Those of you who have the Mashiach Energy Hat I just ordered a new one for myself, just so it's nice and crisp and doesn't have the sunburntness on it and the sunscreen all over it. The merch store is up. There's some new things Leo put in there. Modilivecom for everything. Thank you, leo for organizing this, and I'm sorry we didn't read anybody. Oh, brian Gross. I'm sorry we didn't read anybody. Oh, brian Gross, I'm here.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, okay, brian, he's one of your joke testers. He's the guy whose house we're talking about.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, he's literally the guy whose house we're talking about right now, which is a gorgeous house. It's a gorgeous house.
Speaker 2:He never invited me. Brian, I'm coming for Shabbos.
Speaker 1:Okay, so he'll. No, he'll bring.