'Twas the Night before Fletchmas Special

EPISODE 35: 'Twas the Night before Fletchmas!!!

The holidays are upon us once again, and as 2022 wraps, Fletchmas is in full swing. Laker Jim, Jake, and Big Bob discuss Geena Davis' new book "Dying of Politeness" where she reveals how her character was named Larry. The crew dives deep into the movie "Hoodwinked" and detail every Fletch reference ... and believe me, there's a lot. The boys exchange gifts and discuss a Fletch version of Elf on a Shelf, Moonriver at Midnight and more. Then Santa stops by to read the guys "Twas the Night before Fletchmas." This episode is sure to be an instant classic. 

Merry Fletchmas!

"'Twas the Night Before Fletchmas"
Story written by Robert "Big Bob" West
Performed by Santa Clause)

FletchCast is Your Ultimate source for everything Fletch: the books, the movies, & the latest news about our favorite journalistic reporter, Irwin M. Fletcher.

... making sure Fletch Lives forever!

Host: James "Laker Jim" Kanowitz (@webguy911)
Co-Host: Jake Parrish (@jakelparrish)
Co-Host: Robert "Big Bob" West


Follow Us on Social Media:
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P.S. Have a nice day. 

Fletch  & Fletch Lives are Copyright 1985, 1989 Universal Studios and distributed by MCA/Universal Pictures.  The Fletch Soundtrack is Copyright MCA Records. Confess, Fletch is Copyright of Miramax with Paramount distribution. All images and sounds are the intellectual property of Universal Studios. They are used only with the intent of public appreciation of a great film and possible publicity for its place among the great comedies of our time. We imply no rights to the characters or intellectual property created by Gregory McDonald, Universal or Miramax and is used for educational purposes only. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:02

Broadcasting live and around the world from Cabana One, the only podcast that's all ball bearings, your ultimate source for everything flat. Thank you. Laker Jim and its beat reporters will stop at nothing to make sure Flat lives forever, forever. They don't shower much. This is Fletchcast.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 0:42

Thank you, Sammy, and welcome everybody to Fletchcast. I'm your host, Laker Jim. Joining me are two men who parked in a handicapped spot on the way over. Actually, I'm a handicapped person, Jake and Big Bob. Boys, it's the holiday season, and our annual Fletchmus episode is upon us.

Jake Parrish 0:59

I'd run over anybody to get here. Fletchmus is my favorite time of the year. I wouldn't miss it for the world.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 1:05

Plus, you told him you'd be out in five minutes, so that's not such a big deal.

"Big Bob" West 1:10

I didn't say I'd be right out. I know this takes a while, so I just have to be patient. It's nice to have old Big Bob back, too. Oh, that's right. Bob was not with us last episode. Thank you so much. It's so nice to be back in time for the holidays. I am excited. We have a lot to discuss.

Jake Parrish 1:25

Were you off-track betting in the Himalayas? I couldn't remember. Is that where you were? No, no, no. Not this time. No, no, no. Not this time. Okay. Okay. Something sewage related, I'm sure.

"Big Bob" West 1:33

You're getting warmer. You're getting warmer. Yeah.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 1:36

Well, boys, as we kind of close the year of 2022, we have to reflect on what an amazing year for Fletch this was. Really one of the best Fletch years of our lives.

"Big Bob" West 1:46

All things considered, we had a new movie. Yeah. And it was good. It didn't let us down.

Jake Parrish 1:51

Yeah, you know, I I agree with LJ. I mean, this was probably since the premiere of Fletch Lives, that we've had a new movie, a successful movie. I think obviously we can say probably a little bit more uh critically than commercially, but still I think it was a great year. The movie was an overwhelming success as far as I'm concerned, and the fact that wheels are in motion for another one, which is always good. A sequel. Yep. So I think we have a lot to be thankful for.

"Big Bob" West 2:26

Let's not forget the thing that we're most thankful for, too. We were nominated for an award.

Jake Parrish 2:29

Yes.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 2:30

Absolutely.

"Big Bob" West 2:31

And we lost.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 2:32

Sorry. We'll do better next year. I didn't want to forget to mention that last year on the podcast, we announced that Fletchcast had broken the top 10% of all podcasts. Oh, yes. This year, we're even prouder to announce that Fletchcast is in the top five percent. So out of two and a half million podcasts, or however many are out there, Fletchcast is in the top five percent. Think about that. And that's not us, that's all you guys. So thank you so much for the support. We could put out the podcast, but if no one's listening, if nobody cares, it's worthless. Yeah, exactly. So thank you. You guys earned it. Let's get even higher next year. I think we can do it.

Jake Parrish 3:13

Yeah, and I think we have to thank those that take the time to come on the show. You know, Greg Matola, we had, you know, a great year. Burt Gilliam was here with Tim Matheson. We I think it was just a great year for us, content-wise, and bigger and better things, hopefully in 23.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 3:30

All right, boys. Well, we got a lot to go over, a lot to discuss. Why don't we jump right into the news? I know everyone has fortune fever. Yes. But we got some OG flesh stuff to talk about up next.

SPEAKER_03 3:45

The Ding Do report.

SPEAKER_01 3:49

I'm turning the story over to a professional reporter.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 4:02

Gina Davis, our girl, Larry, wrote a book called Dying of Politeness. Now you may have heard about the book because it was in the news. It was in the news because of a kind of a creepy Bill Murray massage story. I heard that. But I think it should have been in the news because there's another big reveal. And that big reveal is how her character in Fletch got the name Larry.

"Big Bob" West 4:29

I love that she writes a tell-all heart-ranging story. And for me, the takeaway is, but here's the part about Fletch. I agree, that is important to us considering our content. So let's let's talk about that.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 4:41

We obtained an exclusive audio clip of the Fletch part of the book, read by the author herself. So let's take a listen to that and then we're gonna get into it. Dying of Politeness, Gina Davis.

SPEAKER_00 4:53

Fletch was a movie starring Chevy Chase, in which Fletch, Chevy's Los Angeles Times undercover reporter character, is on the trail of a man who, for some reason, wants Fletch to kill him. It's complicated, okay? I managed to get an audition for the female lead, but though the producers really liked me, you're so funny. We love you. They also said, you're just not conventionally pretty. You don't look like the girl you'd expect a lead character to fall in love with. To still have me in the movie somehow, the producers turned the role of the newspaper morgue chief, Larry, into a female so I could play it. I liked the name so much I told them not to change it. I had gone from Pat in Fantasy Island to a woman called Larry, VO1, Dr. Melba Bozinski. So there you have it. And those are three names that I love.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 5:40

I don't know about you guys. For almost 40 years, we've wondered why would the writers name a female character Larry? And now we finally have our answer. They didn't. Yeah. And now, even though it was a very short paragraph, there's a lot to unpack here. Number one being that the role of Larry was originally written for a guy.

"Big Bob" West 6:01

Really makes me wonder who they could have cast. You know, I'm always on top of that. But how great is it that she stuck to her guns too and and and said stick with the name? I mean, uh, I if they would have changed that name, we would have lost so many, so many great quotes, you know, to go with that name. I love your body, Larry.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 6:18

And how about the fact that she mentions that the character was originally the morgue reporter?

Jake Parrish 6:23

Yeah. Which was never anything in the book. Is it does a morgue reporter write obituaries? Is that what it's you know? I thought that was like the lowest form of reporters. That's where they started with writing obituaries, you know.

"Big Bob" West 6:34

Is that what they do a morgue reporter? Is that their main job is to write the object?

Jake Parrish 6:37

I have no idea. I'm just spitballing.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 6:39

I think you're right. But you know, that also gives us more background on the character of Larry. Not only have we always wondered about the name, we've often wondered what her role at the paper was. Yeah. Was she Fletch's assistant? Was she a journalist? Was she an intern? Was she under Frank in some way? And now we find out that she was a more chief reporter.

Jake Parrish 6:59

Yeah, yeah, because I would just assume she was just like almost, I thought she was like Frank's assistant, almost like a gopher, you know, or almost like an intern. Yeah. Just learning the business.

"Big Bob" West 7:09

It also gives you a little insight into why she's so excited to always be helping Fletch. I mean, helping Fletch in an in everything exciting that he does is a huge step up from having to be around dead bodies all day.

Jake Parrish 7:19

Especially, you know, if they're outside of Louisiana. Any mail for me?

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 7:25

And plus, it lets us imagine what if she got the role of Gail? We would have had Gina Davis in the role of Mrs. Stanwick. Had she landed the part.

Jake Parrish 7:36

Yeah, and I can't, I mean, I can't see that.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 7:39

I I can see it to a degree. Well, you well, maybe they tomboyed her up, so maybe they would glamour her up if she was Gail.

"Big Bob" West 7:46

Yeah, I can see it to a degree, you know, if you put her in the right clothes, the right dress, and everything. And uh, but I do think that Larry is the role she's meant to play.

Jake Parrish 7:53

Oh, yeah. And I I'm curious about not conventionally pretty. I mean, like, she is I think she's beautiful. I mean, a great like a league of their own. She was absolutely beautiful there. And she did have kind of like in especially in that movie, that could be, you know, that 40s kind of movie star look, that kind of more classical look. So I guess I could see that, but I mean, she still looked great.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 8:14

You know, it's funny. Early in the book, she mentions because she was a model early in her career, that she actually lost roles because she was too pretty. But aside from that, how about having the balls to say that to somebody's face, especially a woman, and then work with them? Right. That's the main takeaway, you know.

"Big Bob" West 8:31

It really speaks to the the misery of being an Ollie that somebody will just outright say you're not attractive enough to be in a role. Which I guess, you know, I guess that's that's probably very common, you know. It's it's you have to have a kick in and everything, and it's it's not as politically correct or or you know as concerned of what what they say behind closed doors to tell you why. I mean, at least it's honesty, but I I don't agree.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 8:55

It's a great book. I suggest picking it up if you're interested in Gina Davis or are a fan of Gina Davis's career outside of Fletch, it's definitely worth picking up. She's got lots of great stories about the movie she's been in, Beatle Juice, The League of Their Own, and all her co-stars, her relationship with Goldblum, and uh growing up with very, very strict parents who enforced that you never put anybody out or make them uncomfortable, always be polite. The book Dying of Politeness, pick it up, it's a great read/slash listen.

"Big Bob" West 9:26

Well, hats off to Gina Davis and sticking to her guns because she gave us one of the best characters by well, in the first movie at least.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 9:33

Yeah. And you wonder, would the character have been as memorable if her name was Susie?

"Big Bob" West 9:38

No, no.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 9:38

You're on thin eye susie doesn't really ring the same way. Absolutely not.

Jake Parrish 9:44

And to and to a point, we kind of saw her in Confess. Kind of definitely did. Hey, at least it was a a salute to her, you know?

"Big Bob" West 9:52

Yeah.

Jake Parrish 9:53

So I think that just goes to show you how you know substantial she was and how she's remembered in the first movie.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 10:00

There's kind of this meme that's been going around since it's the holiday season of uh everybody obviously knows elf on a shelf, but there's memes that have been going around where people are taking people and putting them on other things that rhyme. Yes, I've seen them everywhere. The one that kind of caught my attention was a little Chevy Chase sitting on Eugene Levy, Chevy on a levy. And so that got me thinking: are there any fletch on a shelf that we could come up with and think of that could nudge a few mench on a benches off the store shelves and put some money in our pockets?

"Big Bob" West 10:33

Exactly. Wow. One comes to mind right away for me. What's that? That'd be underhill on a windowsill.

Jake Parrish 10:43

Love that one. How about any more? How about how about poon on a spoon? Poon on a spoon. I could picture that actually.

"Big Bob" West 10:50

Keep poon and spoon away from uh gummy and fat stand. We don't want them shooting up any poon.

Jake Parrish 10:55

Gummy on your tummy.

"Big Bob" West 10:56

Good lord, that could be in sex shops. Exactly. Uh smoot and a boot. Oh, smoot in a boot would be great. Little Christmas boot there, uh, Santa's boot, a little smoot coming out of it with his hands to the, you know, ready to give blessings out of the boot.

Jake Parrish 11:13

The bar in a jar.

"Big Bob" West 11:14

There it is. Crank on a plank.

Jake Parrish 11:18

Crank on a plank is good. Yes, that's a good one. We gotta have more.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 11:22

All right, well, we gotta brainstorm this a little. Maybe we can make uh for next year, you know, a new elf on a shelf and make you know a couple million. Moot in a boot seems to be the winner.

Jake Parrish 11:34

I like that one.

"Big Bob" West 11:35

I like to see people on social media start coming up with some and throwing them together. Definitely send them to us. We'd love to post it.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 11:40

That would be awesome. Give you some credit. All right, guys. That's about it for the news. And why don't we jump to a segment we haven't done in a while called Fletch Pop Culture?

"Big Bob" West 11:50

Yes. Oh, I've heard of that. I know that one.

unknown 11:55

Fletch.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 12:00

Fletch pop culture. As I've always said, this is one of my favorite segments because it really is amazing to find fletch references out there in the world outside of the Fletch movies and novels. So, Bob, give me give us a good one. It's the holiday season, dig down deep and give us a fletch reference that maybe not a lot of people are aware of.

"Big Bob" West 12:21

Only because you've been such a good boy this year, Laker Jim. I'm gonna give you a great one this year, actually. All right. Now, if you happen to have fletch young children by your side in 2005, or if you were just a fan of the now defunct Weinstein company, there was a movie that came out back then called Hoodwinked. Yes. And when I say that, for some people, you might know exactly where I'm going. For those that don't know, you are in for a treat.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 12:42

Yes. Hoodwinked is a movie that I definitely covered on the old website. There you go. It was an animated movie, and one of the characters was a spinning image of Fletch.

"Big Bob" West 12:53

The movie came out in 2005, 20 years after the original Fletch. The movie's about the three characters, Little Red Riding Hood, the grandmother, and of course the Big Bad Wolf. Well, for whatever reason, the person who wrote the character The Big Bad Wolf decided to make the Big Bad Wolf, who's voiced by Patrick Warborn. Exactly. Fletch. And when I say exactly Fletch, I don't mean it's suggested. I mean it's intentional. Right. And it's so obvious. First things first, if you see the movie, the character wears a hooded sweatshirt and underneath is a Lakers purple jersey. Instead of 32, it's the number 23.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 13:28

Yeah, he looks exactly like the Beach Bum Fletch. His look really can't be confused for anything but Fletch.

"Big Bob" West 13:35

Exactly. Later on in the film, if that's not enough, he also dons a uh gold Laker jersey with an Afro.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 13:42

Oh my gosh. That's great. Right, because he's got a basketball in his hands. He's he's definitely playing basketball. That's so cool.

"Big Bob" West 13:49

So you say to yourself, okay, there's two things right there, and visually, sure. But it's not just visual. The way he speaks is very snappy dialogue that he has with people. And it's not just the way he speaks to people. The entire time he's explaining his backstory, he's monologuing exactly like Fletch, and he's doing it to a, I wouldn't want to say knockoff, because it's a pretty on point version of the Faltemeyer theme in the background.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 14:13

Yes, yes, 100%. And by the way, the actor that voices him is Putty from Seinfeld.

"Big Bob" West 14:19

All right, haha. Okay. Yeah, they uh yeah, Patrick Warborton does the voice. Like I said, he's in the same kind of cadence as Fletch the whole time. He monologues with the Fletch music in the background. The biggest thing though is that when they discover that he's not just a big bad wolf, he's actually kind of working under carpet. They ask him what he does for a living.

SPEAKER_03 14:36

What do you do for a living, Mr. Wolf? I'm a shepherd.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 14:40

Oh my god. I'm a shepherd. I that is so great. Now it only gets better and crazier. If you thought that was amazing, just wait till you hear this as the wolf starts to explain his side of the story and who he is.

SPEAKER_02 15:01

I'm an investigative journalist. You've probably read my column back to fairy tale. I spent the last six months undercover investigating the so-called Goody Bandit. More recipes go missing, trail has gotten hotter.

"Big Bob" West 15:19

Oh my gosh. So can you can you actually believe what you just heard?

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 15:24

That's absolutely incredible. And I mean, I wish this movie was bigger. Yeah. The fletch exposure would be insane in this movie.

Jake Parrish 15:33

I might have to pick this up just to see it. You know? You can't even get it.

"Big Bob" West 15:38

If you can find it, it's very hard to find.

Jake Parrish 15:40

It's on Amazon.

"Big Bob" West 15:42

Not to stream.

Jake Parrish 15:43

No, I'd have to buy the DVD. I'd have to pull out the DVD player and find it. Yeah.

"Big Bob" West 15:50

You know, I I I I gotta say, it's it's not from a lack of content in the movie. The problem is it came out in 2005. That's the height of Pixar and DreamWorks. And this is not a Pixar or DreamWorks movie. The scene I love the most, which kind of kind of really got me, is at one point he's in disguise and he's undercover and he's trying to bait out information from another one of the creatures in the woods, and he's got a neck brace on. And he begins to kind of they they begin this this to tell the story about how oh he was so surprised, and boom, somebody opened the door and whack.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 16:23

That's very Poon-like, actually. He looks like Poon, he's got the glasses, rambling, rambling about what happened to him.

SPEAKER_02 16:29

Yeah, let's take a look. I want to hear it. And I'm talking hot coffee. Hot coffee. All over my neck. Very, very painful. You know, people think a health board examiner doesn't lead a dangerous life, but I will tell you, my furry friend, food is dangerous. So that's why Kenny told me to come down here and take a look. Who? Your boss, Kenny. You mean Earl? Well, that's what Earl said. He said, uh, can he come down here? So uh here I am.

"Big Bob" West 16:56

What what did you say your name was? Shaw, Rick Shaw, I'm in from Japan. A nod to Mr. Pooh. Definitely. So watch this, watch for that.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 17:05

Yeah, uh well, actually, I'll I'll I'll play it. There's one scene where he's got a tape recorder and he's recording questions into the tape recorder just like Fletch does. Just like Fletch does on the airplane.

SPEAKER_02 17:18

I was starting to have my suspicions. Question. Who does she move the goodies for? Where do they come from? Where are they going?

Jake Parrish 17:27

And why the hook? Whoever wrote this had to be a humongous fan. Just as you say that, I'm looking it up. It looks like Corey Edwards is one of the writers, and it looks like he hasn't really done a lot of other movies. It looks like maybe some more animated stuff. It looks like he is definitely obviously a Fletch fan. It doesn't say anything courtesy via Wikipedia, but um there's obviously a lot of you know winks and nods to Fletch, and I cannot believe that I've it has flown under the radar for this long that I'm not aware of it. So actually, I just bought it on Amazon. I'm gonna have to pull out the DVD player and watch it.

"Big Bob" West 18:05

Yeah, that'll be a nice New Year's thing to do. Yeah, I am super excited. It's about 20 minutes into the movie where the wolf tells his story. That's where it really gets into everything I mentioned the costumes, the the outfits, the monologues, the music, uh the fact that he says he's an investigative reporter. About five minutes of the movie from the 20-minute mark to about 25 minutes, you gotta check this out. If you're a Fletch fan, you're you're you'll be happy that you did.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 18:32

I can only think of two possible scenarios how this even was possible. Number one, maybe the Weinstein still had the rights to Fletch, and somehow their deal was different and they had rights to the first movie where Ham and Matola did not. Right. Or maybe this is protected by parody law. You know, I know if you can prove you're parodying something, it protects you from any kind of lawsuit, you know, under the parody act or whatever that's called. Right, right, right, right. That's the only thing I can think of. How this was even possible. But either way, great pop culture reference, Bob. This thing was loaded. There's a few others, not too many more, but definitely check out Hoodwinked. It's hard to find. Bob, this one was a treat to go through. Wow. I am blown away. Until next time.

"Big Bob" West 19:36

Can we do the gifts now? Yeah, you guys want to do gifts?

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 19:39

Yeah, let's do it. All reason I came back. Hell yes, we had a ball last year opening gifts on the podcast. So good thing you, Bob.

Jake Parrish 19:46

He can't wait. He's all excited, you know. He's like a little kid. Hey, let him go first, then. Okay, go, Bob. Open your gifts. Me?

unknown 19:53

Yes.

Jake Parrish 19:54

Yes. I mean, you you were AWOL last time, and yeah.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 19:59

Let's play a little music. Not EDM. Christmas music. The only thing I said to the group was instead of stuff, we all have too much shit, and we just don't have room for all this. We do. This year, let's try to do experiences. You know, that was so that was my only advice to the group beforehand. So let's see how it goes. Yeah.

"Big Bob" West 20:28

Alright, let me open up this for oh, this one's from Jake. Thank you, Jake. Let's do it. Welcome, buddy. This is the card. There's a money. There's tickets in it. Yes. Oh my god, Jake. You got me a you got me tickets to go to the Bly Biochemical Factory. Oh my god. An unattended, an unattended tour of the Bly Biochemical Factory. I have to be on my best behavior so I don't whistle when I walked.

Jake Parrish 20:57

Well, well, that was my question. Is I'm just a little concerned if you know that your hernia doesn't act up again. Because I don't want you to be pissing blood and stuff like that. That's that would that would never be good. Especially with your white suits. We don't want you to be pissing blood in your white suits.

"Big Bob" West 21:12

No, I'll wear the darkest colors.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 21:14

Thank you so much, Jake. That's so thoughtful. Jake actually sent me the link and he was like, what do you think of this for Bob? Yeah. And what I thought was interesting was you don't need a guide to tour the plant. No. You just kind of wander around wherever you want. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. And that's what I intend to do. That's dangerous.

"Big Bob" West 21:34

Yeah, this is gonna be a great trip.

Jake Parrish 21:36

Just here's the thing. Pull your file, don't pull your PU.

"Big Bob" West 21:42

Alright, let me open up. Let me open up the other gift maker gym. You know, it's not a competition. Let's just see what we got. Oh, this is some sort of a bracelet with a big wooden cross on it. Like a job is no press the little cross. Who's gonna be the next one saved?

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 21:58

Press the other side.

"Big Bob" West 22:00

Demon Z! Survival land. Another trip. I got the the second showcase. Price is right. I got two trips. To stay at the Heavenly Hilton as well. Two nights stay at the Heavenly Hilton on the off season. And oh, you really smurged.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 22:15

Oh, sis. Now, Bob, that bracelet with the cross in Jimmy Lee Farnsworth's face. If you scan that, it gets you first on any ride in the park.

"Big Bob" West 22:26

Oh, it's a fast pass, a heavenly fast pass. Exactly. Oh, I can't wait for the religious people to look at me angrily and I ruin their trips. It's like go ahead of them in front of the lines. This is gonna be the best spring of my life when I go on two trips off season.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 22:42

And yes, it's off season. It's flood season, actually, but but that makes Noah's Ark extra fun.

"Big Bob" West 22:49

I can't thank you enough. I don't need more crap around. I don't need more novelty teeth. So this is wonderful. You guys really went all out. I can't wait to see what I got you. Alright, who wants to go next?

Jake Parrish 23:01

Well, I'll go. I'll go. Here we go.

"Big Bob" West 23:03

There we go.

Jake Parrish 23:04

This one's from LJ. And uh wow, it's big. It's like it's in a big rectangular package. Let me let me open it up here. See here. Wow, it's paste up really good. Let me see here. That's my signature. You know. Well, yes. It's oh my goodness gracious. I it's a cowboy print from Edgar Arthur Tharp Jr. Wow. Look at this. Let me show. Wow, this is great. I think this is original. Yeah, I think this is Custer's last stand, isn't it? Wow, it's fantastic. And you know, Edgar Arthur, I mean, like the blood, it's just so realistic. I love it.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 23:43

I know you're redesigning your whole house in a cowboy theme.

Jake Parrish 23:46

Yes, I am. And that's southwestern motif, kind of like fit right in.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 23:50

Wife's gonna love it. And uh, you know, that's a that's rare. That's a one-on-one.

"Big Bob" West 23:56

You know who's gonna love this theme too when it's all done? Hop along Cassidy.

Jake Parrish 23:59

Oh, you're right about that. You're right.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 24:01

No bow and arrows at Jake's.

Jake Parrish 24:03

Yes. And the scalping down here in the bottom right, oh, when people walk in and see it, they're gonna love it. I mean, nothing says welcome to our humble abode, then a good scalping, you know?

"Big Bob" West 24:13

So that's class.

Jake Parrish 24:15

I mean, that is lovely. Thank you so much, LJ.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 24:18

I wanted to get you the biography, but it was sold out, so I figured, hey, why not just get the?

Jake Parrish 24:22

I don't know how I don't know how you can top this, Bob. Uh I probably won't. Very small. Bob, oh. You know, is that Tupperware? Did you get this at the convenience store down the street at CBS? No, no, no. Yeah, you'll you'll see. Oh. It's an$80 portion of beluga. Oh, I love it. Oh, I'll go through this quick. Wait, keep looking. Keep looking at two portions. There's two portions. Oh my god. Oh, it's two portions. Well, you're right, it is. It's double. Do you like fish eggs? I I I love it. I mean, this is great. Do you like fish eggs? Eat it right out of the can. I eat it during my Laker games when I watch the Laker games. Yeah. I mean, like, these are Oh my goodness gracious. Uh, thank you so much. Uh, there's probably a million different things I can I can use this for. You eat it. Thank you so much, guys. This is fantastic.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 25:12

Bob, what'd you get? The 10-portion jug at Costco and just scooch it.

Jake Parrish 25:16

No, no. Uh no. How do you and by the way, how do you measure out portions when it comes to beluga? I mean, like, is it like a tablespoon or what is it? I I I let generally I just down it. Oh. I get you. I get you. I cracked the can open. It's a little can. You know, I wanted her Mr. Potato Head. That's what I really wanted. Just FYI. Maybe next year.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 25:39

Santa's always listening.

Jake Parrish 25:40

Thank you.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 25:41

You're welcome. Okay, last but not least, my gifts. Alright, this one's from Jake. Small envelope like I asked for. Oh, now this is thoughtful. And this is something I really need. It's a gift certificate to the Kakakis Brothers Greek restaurant. Aw. It's really that's awesome because me and Marta, we need it, we need a night out.

Jake Parrish 26:04

You guys really do. You know, with Jack, and you guys, you got your hands tied with the kids, and I thought, you know, it's a nice night out.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 26:11

Yeah, I mean, plus she's Portuguese, and I know they specialize in in cod fish and scratch.

"Big Bob" West 26:17

Scratch's making a comeback, all right?

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 26:19

So she's gonna be in heaven. You know what you're gonna wear when you go? Well, she she'll be in her maid's outfit, and I'll be wearing my thick Coke bottled glasses.

Jake Parrish 26:30

And I don't know if you saw there at the bottom, it's in it's it's there's a little asterisk there at the bottom, but if you look, it's unlimited plate breaking. So I mean, like you can you can break as many plates as you want when you're there as well. Wow. Frustration out. Yeah, exactly.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 26:45

Yeah, I love it. It says when you're there, you're Greek. Exactly. Exactly. Oh, thanks, Jake. This is really nice. Really fun. You deserve it. Okay, now this is let me see what Bob got me. Uh-huh. This one's leaking. Yeah. I appreciate that, Bob. Oh, this is awesome. You like it? Hot fat flavored eggnog. Oh, that sounds wonderful. This is only sold in Florida. I've been dying to try this. I love when I love when they take holiday flavors and they they give you like special limited edition versions. Yes. This is awesome. Yeah.

"Big Bob" West 27:25

Because last year, last year when I had it, you were remarking about how great mine was. So I'm gonna be honest with you. It's from last year. I just I just kept it and I figured you'd want it. Let's see this uh the next version.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 27:37

The shelf life on on Hot Fat Flavored Eggnog is expires 2032.

"Big Bob" West 27:43

Yeah. Wow. It gets better with age. Well, just try it. Try it right now. Try it a little sip. No, no, no. He doesn't want to know. What you want to do is you want to you want to keep it for a few years and open it, you know, for a special occasion. Gotta really let it curdle, huh? Yeah, yeah. Oh, you're trying it. Oh. I think it'll grow on you. Yes.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 28:05

Bob, thank you very much. This was a really, really thoughtful holiday. Hopefully everybody enjoyed their gifts.

Jake Parrish 28:12

Oh, a great gift.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 28:15

I don't know if anyone remembers last year. And this has kind of become a little bit of a phenomenon. And since this is probably our last episode of the year, one thing I want to remind everybody is if you want to experience something amazing on New Year's Eve, something we created called Moon River at Midnight, is something you want to experience. Now, yes, there are other movies that you can time out to have certain things happen at midnight, but if you want Chevy to get his finger up his ass and start to sing Moon River at the Stroke of Midnight 2023. Alright, so everyone that wants to experience this, and I imagine every one of you will, that if you start the movie Flash at exactly 11:42 p.m. in 27 seconds, Chevy will sing Moon River at the stroke of midnight. Now that is something special to ring in the new year. And I expect everybody to send us your videos as you experience this, post them on social media, tag us, and uh Moon River at midnight. We expect this to become even crazier than it was last year. Chevy actually reposted it, uh, which was pretty awesome last year.

Jake Parrish 29:27

Yeah. It's nice that we get that support from him too.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 29:31

Yeah, so break out the lube for 2023. And let's get ready to count together.

SPEAKER_01 29:38

Chevy nine eight seven and six five.

Jake Parrish 30:00

You know, and that was something else I was expecting too. You know, I'm I'm a little disappointed because I gave you guys a list, and on it was lube and you know, other things, and I just whatever.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 30:11

We just thought that was too easy.

Jake Parrish 30:12

Yeah, I know. I am surprised.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 30:14

Yeah, so perfect timing. Guys, let me go get the door. Give me two seconds, I'll be right back.

Jake Parrish 30:25

Oh boy, I'm gonna get nervous. Is it rusty home from the Navy? It's Gillette, he just came out in from the Lanai. Oh, don't answer it then.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 30:38

Well, can come on, come over here. Yeah, we're recording right now. Alrighty, I'm back. Alright, Fletch fans, I have a treat for you guys. Now, we love the holidays here at the show. And in lieu of the records room, no Fletchcast holiday special would be complete without a visit from the big man himself. Our guest today is someone who clipped a Piper Cub on the way over.

SPEAKER_03 31:02

Oh, that's okay, I just saw him parachuting.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 31:04

A diehard Fletch fan and friend of the show. The one and only Santa Claus.

SPEAKER_01 31:13

Mary Fletcher I was just flying over Provo when I realized I needed to stop by and visit my favorite Fletch podcast boys before my busy night.

"Laker Jim" James Kanowitz 31:25

Well, Sam, it's always an honor to have you on the show, but I have to ask, what do we owe the pleasure of you greeting us for your presence?

SPEAKER_01 31:32

Laker Jim, you've worked so hard this year to produce and edit every Fletchcast episode to perfection. Thanks, Anna. And Jake, the way you managed to discover all the references in the new Confess Fletch film from the book.

Jake Parrish 31:48

Well, that impressed me most of all. Thanks, Anna. It's a lot of hard work, but uh I really love what I do.

SPEAKER_01 31:54

And Big Bob, why anyway? I'm so happy the show is still going so strong. I've decided to do something special for you, good boys. I've decided to treat you to a damn good rendition, if I do say so my damn self, of 'Twas the Night Before Fletchmas. Would you like that? Yeah, of course. Okay, then. Come sit on Santa's lap. Oh my god, not you, Bob! Sorry, Santa, I'll sit over here. Okay, Jake and Laker Jim. Bob, you can sit on the floor. And let's get comfortable for this wonderful story. Okay. 'Twas the night before Fletchmas. Fletch looked up in the sky, saw a bald, nagging lawyer upon his lanai. The Lakers up ten when Fletch last took a look, and Kareem finished the game with his fabled sky hook. Fat Sam and Gummy nestled snug in the sand with visions of waking up to reds in their hand. Join communists, do you, Santa? And hawk, it's the Underhills having dinner much later. As expected, Ted complained and shortchanged the waiter. When up in the records room rose a screech that would linger, Fletch sprang to be one to see Jellyfinger. Behind an old man who likely had gas, Dolan's fist caked in loo. He shoved up his ass.

Jake Parrish 33:27

Breathe easy.

SPEAKER_01 33:28

Breathe easy. A gleam from the moon shined bright off Frank's brow as he bellowed at Fletch, I want the story now. When what to Irwin's uncaring eyes should appear? But a woman in a sleigh with six-pack of Coors beer. A driver with a smile, every man wants to marry. Fletch knew in a moment it had to be Larry. Onward, Fletch yelled, while Larry scratched and she clasped. There's a brand new Fletch cast. Now Laker Jim, now Jake, now Big Bob so tall. Now download and listen to episodes all. One by one they listened to each season with glee. Fuck that better ass T-Burt, he cursed at episode three. And you could hear Fletch exclaim as he climbed the service entrance with might. Mary Fletch, mister, and do all of good night. Good night, Squeechee. Good night, Dick Cod. And good night, Pigger. Thanks to the listening. The boys are asleep. If Standard leaves now, I'll get back to the North Pole in time to catch the last 10 minutes of Dynasty. Happy holidays, everyone.