{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":6.99,"endTime":9.63,"body":"The person I most like"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":6.99,"endTime":9.63,"body":"to be analytical and self"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":9.63,"endTime":14.25,"body":"deprecating with is my sister,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":9.63,"endTime":14.25,"body":"she can take it. She tells me to"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":14.25,"endTime":18.99,"body":"reframe. Everyone could benefit"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":14.25,"endTime":18.99,"body":"from a conversation with her."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":19.65,"endTime":22.77,"body":"She's who I go to when I need to"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":19.65,"endTime":22.77,"body":"dissect the hard topics that I"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":22.77,"endTime":26.34,"body":"wake up obsessing about. I'll"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":22.77,"endTime":26.34,"body":"ask tons of questions, and"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":26.34,"endTime":30.57,"body":"she'll sister us through via"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":26.34,"endTime":30.57,"body":"text or wine or coffee. All"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":30.57,"endTime":33.51,"body":"useful vices since the Davey"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":30.57,"endTime":33.51,"body":"sisters are a strong cup of"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":33.51,"endTime":37.2,"body":"coffee. So come here, if you can"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":33.51,"endTime":37.2,"body":"relate or need some sistering"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":37.2,"endTime":40.59,"body":"yourself. There'll be lots of"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":37.2,"endTime":40.59,"body":"laughter and a whole lot of"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":40.59,"endTime":44.37,"body":"reframing as we work our way"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":40.59,"endTime":44.37,"body":"through some of life's big and"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":44.37,"endTime":46.53,"body":"small stuff. Together."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":47.49,"endTime":51.0,"body":"Welcome to our first episode of"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":51.6,"endTime":54.66,"body":"Sister On! I like how"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":51.6,"endTime":54.66,"body":"we said that together!"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":55.59,"endTime":61.56,"body":"She's Rebecca, and I'm Natalie."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":55.59,"endTime":61.56,"body":"And we are sisters. We're going"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":61.56,"endTime":64.62,"body":"to be here weekly discussing all"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":61.56,"endTime":64.62,"body":"things sistering,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":65.19,"endTime":68.64,"body":"which does have many"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":65.19,"endTime":68.64,"body":"configurations. So we are actual"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":68.64,"endTime":69.99,"body":"sisters, but"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":71.64,"endTime":77.1,"body":"there might be a sister"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":71.64,"endTime":77.1,"body":"in your life in some way, form"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":77.1,"endTime":82.83,"body":"or fashion that you see as your"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":77.1,"endTime":82.83,"body":"biggest support. And that's what"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":82.83,"endTime":87.0,"body":"we're gonna be talking about -"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":82.83,"endTime":87.0,"body":"ideas of support and unpacking"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":87.0,"endTime":89.34,"body":"and reframing because that's"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":87.0,"endTime":89.34,"body":"what's central to our"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":89.34,"endTime":95.7,"body":"understanding of Sister On! So,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":89.34,"endTime":95.7,"body":"here we go, we're probably a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":95.7,"endTime":98.64,"body":"little nervous. Are we a little"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":95.7,"endTime":98.64,"body":"nervous? I mean there's this"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":98.64,"endTime":101.88,"body":"fancy looking microphone in"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":98.64,"endTime":101.88,"body":"front of us. And it means things"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":101.88,"endTime":103.62,"body":"are real, like we're doing this!"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":105.84,"endTime":110.67,"body":"Earlier, Nat was saying"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":105.84,"endTime":110.67,"body":"that I am the one that just"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":110.7,"endTime":113.97,"body":"makes things happen by, for"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":110.7,"endTime":113.97,"body":"example, buying this microphone,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":115.77,"endTime":117.69,"body":"meaning we would be doing this"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":115.77,"endTime":117.69,"body":"for real."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":117.75,"endTime":119.79,"body":"It moved from being an"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":117.75,"endTime":119.79,"body":"idea to like a thing,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":120.3,"endTime":123.48,"body":"even though this is"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":120.3,"endTime":123.48,"body":"actually very natural. I think"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":124.44,"endTime":128.58,"body":"having big conversations and"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":124.44,"endTime":128.58,"body":"chatting is like the most"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":128.58,"endTime":133.53,"body":"natural thing for us. It's what"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":128.58,"endTime":133.53,"body":"we do every day. So we thought"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":134.46,"endTime":138.45,"body":"putting these conversations out"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":134.46,"endTime":138.45,"body":"in the world might serve other"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":138.45,"endTime":139.14,"body":"people too."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":139.3,"endTime":144.13,"body":"Yeah, I mean, we are"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":139.3,"endTime":144.13,"body":"into purpose and care and"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":144.13,"endTime":147.61,"body":"friendship and love and support,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":144.13,"endTime":147.61,"body":"and well, reframing. And that's"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":147.61,"endTime":152.02,"body":"what today is all about. The"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":147.61,"endTime":152.02,"body":"idea of reframing, which we use"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":152.05,"endTime":159.04,"body":"a lot as a term. I use it a lot."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":152.05,"endTime":159.04,"body":"But I think that not everybody"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":159.46,"endTime":162.79,"body":"resonates with that term in the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":159.46,"endTime":162.79,"body":"same way. But we think that they"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":162.79,"endTime":170.68,"body":"can, so why not actually explain"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":162.79,"endTime":170.68,"body":"what we mean by reframing, as we"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":170.68,"endTime":176.05,"body":"navigate all of life, the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":170.68,"endTime":176.05,"body":"hurdles and hurts and all that."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":176.65,"endTime":186.64,"body":"So, for context, I think I use"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":176.65,"endTime":186.64,"body":"that term a lot as a teacher,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":187.09,"endTime":191.41,"body":"because so I teach high"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":187.09,"endTime":191.41,"body":"schoolers, and college and"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":191.41,"endTime":192.49,"body":"university folk."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":192.55,"endTime":196.69,"body":"And so I am saying, and"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":192.55,"endTime":196.69,"body":"I probably have learned that"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":196.69,"endTime":198.1,"body":"term specifically from you."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":198.27,"endTime":200.94,"body":"Yeah, maybe, though I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":198.27,"endTime":200.94,"body":"don't even know if I learned it"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":200.94,"endTime":203.31,"body":"anywhere. I think I just sort of"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":200.94,"endTime":203.31,"body":"came up with it as something"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":203.31,"endTime":209.25,"body":"that I could use to talk with a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":203.31,"endTime":209.25,"body":"young person about how they"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":209.25,"endTime":211.86,"body":"might be able to look at"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":209.25,"endTime":211.86,"body":"something that's going on for"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":211.86,"endTime":217.62,"body":"them from a new angle. So I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":211.86,"endTime":217.62,"body":"think that that's what reframing"},{"speaker":"for me came out of","startTime":218.16,"endTime":225.09,"body":"working with"},{"speaker":"for me came out of","startTime":218.16,"endTime":225.09,"body":"folks who you know, are just"},{"speaker":"for me came out of","startTime":225.09,"endTime":229.92,"body":"navigating heavy stuff in life"},{"speaker":"for me came out of","startTime":225.09,"endTime":229.92,"body":"and then have to sort of figure"},{"speaker":"for me came out of","startTime":229.98,"endTime":235.2,"body":"out how to make that heavier"},{"speaker":"for me came out of","startTime":229.98,"endTime":235.2,"body":"thing feel lighter, or help them"},{"speaker":"for me came out of","startTime":235.2,"endTime":237.72,"body":"to build up strength because of"},{"speaker":"for me came out of","startTime":235.2,"endTime":237.72,"body":"how they carry it."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":238.14,"endTime":242.88,"body":"I like that idea of"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":238.14,"endTime":242.88,"body":"making something heavier feel"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":243.45,"endTime":252.06,"body":"lighter. I think I always think"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":243.45,"endTime":252.06,"body":"of this one poem, that our"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":252.06,"endTime":255.93,"body":"mother did her PhD on. Not the"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":252.06,"endTime":255.93,"body":"poem but the Canadian poet"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":255.93,"endTime":262.44,"body":"Margaret Avison. She has a line"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":255.93,"endTime":262.44,"body":"about seeing things slant. Am I"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":262.44,"endTime":268.56,"body":"saying it right? Seeing"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":262.44,"endTime":268.56,"body":"something different I think"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":269.01,"endTime":302.07,"body":"I love that line but I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":269.01,"endTime":302.07,"body":"don't think it's Avison."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":288.24,"endTime":292.532,"body":"I'm going to have to"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":288.24,"endTime":292.532,"body":"find it. I'm going to read who"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":292.616,"endTime":297.582,"body":"actually wrote it as like a"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":292.616,"endTime":297.582,"body":"postscript. Tell the truth, but"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":297.666,"endTime":302.547,"body":"tell it slant. It's totally"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":297.666,"endTime":302.547,"body":"Avison. No? Oh, you think it's"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":302.631,"endTime":304.82,"body":"Gerard Manley Hopkins? No?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":302.9,"endTime":307.97,"body":"I know it's a woman,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":302.9,"endTime":307.97,"body":"but it's not Avison. At the end"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":307.97,"endTime":311.42,"body":"in our PostScript, when you put"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":307.97,"endTime":311.42,"body":"what you find in, you're gonna"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":311.42,"endTime":314.84,"body":"either rub it in if I'm wrong,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":311.42,"endTime":314.84,"body":"or I can rub it in if I'm right."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":314.93,"endTime":315.53,"body":"Okay, so"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":315.56,"endTime":319.28,"body":"there will be some"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":315.56,"endTime":319.28,"body":"rubbing in of some intellectual"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":319.28,"endTime":319.55,"body":"kind!"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":319.73,"endTime":324.5,"body":"It's Emily Dickinson,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":319.73,"endTime":324.5,"body":"who was also very important to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":324.5,"endTime":327.44,"body":"mom as an English Prof. of 40"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":324.5,"endTime":327.44,"body":"years."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":327.5,"endTime":328.88,"body":"Oh, really? Dickinson?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":328.97,"endTime":329.9,"body":"Either way. Good to go!"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":333.47,"endTime":337.43,"body":"Okay, I might have to"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":333.47,"endTime":337.43,"body":"be embarrassed here."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":337.43,"endTime":337.76,"body":"No!!"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":338.05,"endTime":344.65,"body":"Anyways, who ever said"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":338.05,"endTime":344.65,"body":"it, I don't think they mean lie"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":344.65,"endTime":349.75,"body":"to yourself.  It's like seeing"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":344.65,"endTime":349.75,"body":"through a different lens."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":349.99,"endTime":352.21,"body":"Because there are always"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":349.99,"endTime":352.21,"body":"different ways to look at"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":352.21,"endTime":352.54,"body":"something."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":352.54,"endTime":360.25,"body":"Yeah, totally go with"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":352.54,"endTime":360.25,"body":"that!"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":363.28,"endTime":367.18,"body":"Okay, okay. So there's"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":363.28,"endTime":367.18,"body":"nothing to be learned here for"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":367.18,"endTime":372.67,"body":"everyone except from you! And"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":367.18,"endTime":372.67,"body":"you know what? I've accepted"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":372.67,"endTime":376.03,"body":"that my whole life that you were"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":372.67,"endTime":376.03,"body":"the one with the wisdom."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":377.0,"endTime":382.7,"body":"So how do you think"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":377.0,"endTime":382.7,"body":"reframing actually plays into"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":377.26,"endTime":377.56,"body":"Stop!"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":382.7,"endTime":403.73,"body":"our sister relationship? How"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":382.7,"endTime":403.73,"body":"does it play into our"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":403.73,"endTime":409.01,"body":"relationship? Our particular"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":403.73,"endTime":409.01,"body":"relationship? I think I very"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":409.01,"endTime":420.5,"body":"much see you as the the wisdom"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":409.01,"endTime":420.5,"body":"keeper in some ways, and  I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":420.5,"endTime":427.88,"body":"think we were going to get to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":420.5,"endTime":427.88,"body":"this later a little, you have"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":427.88,"endTime":430.07,"body":"had a lot of things happen."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":432.11,"endTime":434.21,"body":"Yeah, there's been"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":432.11,"endTime":434.21,"body":"suffering."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":437.09,"endTime":441.47,"body":"Suffering leads to some"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":437.09,"endTime":441.47,"body":"bitterness, right?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":441.71,"endTime":444.05,"body":"Suffering can lead to a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":441.71,"endTime":444.05,"body":"lot of bitterness, or it can"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":444.05,"endTime":448.88,"body":"lead to some fresh perspective"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":444.05,"endTime":448.88,"body":"and reframing."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":449.32,"endTime":454.87,"body":"So okay, we could just"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":449.32,"endTime":454.87,"body":"get right into that - how do you"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":454.87,"endTime":457.93,"body":"think it plays into our"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":454.87,"endTime":457.93,"body":"relationship? Is it just you"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":457.96,"endTime":461.29,"body":"giving me a lot of reframing and"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":457.96,"endTime":461.29,"body":"counseling, free counseling?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":462.23,"endTime":464.84,"body":"No, I don't know. You"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":462.23,"endTime":464.84,"body":"know, it's funny in terms of how"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":464.84,"endTime":469.37,"body":"it plays into our relationship,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":464.84,"endTime":469.37,"body":"I definitely think that you are"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":469.37,"endTime":473.66,"body":"the more extroverted processor,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":469.37,"endTime":473.66,"body":"right? So you like will choose"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":473.66,"endTime":479.12,"body":"to talk things out and through"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":473.66,"endTime":479.12,"body":"to get yourself to the other"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":479.12,"endTime":483.5,"body":"side of whatever it is that"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":479.12,"endTime":483.5,"body":"you're navigating? I  think that"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":483.5,"endTime":487.4,"body":"I have had a proclivity to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":483.5,"endTime":487.4,"body":"interiority, right. So I think I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":487.4,"endTime":491.93,"body":"definitely have more of an"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":487.4,"endTime":491.93,"body":"inclination to sort of stay in"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":491.93,"endTime":496.82,"body":"my head and process out loud in"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":491.93,"endTime":496.82,"body":"my classrooms, because I'm"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":496.82,"endTime":500.0,"body":"talking to students. I think"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":496.82,"endTime":500.0,"body":"teachers can go that road"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":500.0,"endTime":504.71,"body":"really, without much thought,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":500.0,"endTime":504.71,"body":"being the person who tells"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":504.71,"endTime":511.04,"body":"knowledge and says stuff, but"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":504.71,"endTime":511.04,"body":"that's not a very vulnerable"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":511.04,"endTime":515.21,"body":"place to be - to just kind of"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":511.04,"endTime":515.21,"body":"say a whole bunch of stuff. And"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":515.21,"endTime":531.74,"body":"so I think that probably my"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":515.21,"endTime":531.74,"body":"inclination to share and teach"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":531.8,"endTime":539.06,"body":"has been something that I've had"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":531.8,"endTime":539.06,"body":"to even reframe because I've had"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":539.06,"endTime":543.26,"body":"to sort of like, say to myself,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":539.06,"endTime":543.26,"body":"okay, I don't always have the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":543.26,"endTime":548.63,"body":"right thing to say, or the wise"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":543.26,"endTime":548.63,"body":"thing to tell a student about"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":548.63,"endTime":550.58,"body":"how to navigate their way"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":548.63,"endTime":550.58,"body":"through a hard thing even if"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":550.58,"endTime":555.08,"body":"they're looking to me for that."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":550.58,"endTime":555.08,"body":"So, you know, I think I got"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":555.08,"endTime":558.77,"body":"better at actually having"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":555.08,"endTime":558.77,"body":"something to share, when my life"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":558.77,"endTime":562.88,"body":"started being more painful."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":558.77,"endTime":562.88,"body":"Like, isn't that crazy to sort"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":562.88,"endTime":565.52,"body":"of say that, but really,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":562.88,"endTime":565.52,"body":"honestly, I think that I've had"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":565.52,"endTime":570.5,"body":"more to give truly, to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":565.52,"endTime":570.5,"body":"vulnerably give when things"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":570.5,"endTime":571.1,"body":"started hurting."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":571.63,"endTime":575.26,"body":"Interesting. So in some"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":571.63,"endTime":575.26,"body":"ways you could be like, as a"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":575.26,"endTime":578.35,"body":"teacher, you were forced into"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":575.26,"endTime":578.35,"body":"this role, but sometimes you"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":578.35,"endTime":583.12,"body":"would feel like you're kind of"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":578.35,"endTime":583.12,"body":"just like, pulling stuff out but"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":583.12,"endTime":588.25,"body":"now, after having lived and had"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":583.12,"endTime":588.25,"body":"more true suffering, you have"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":588.25,"endTime":589.12,"body":"real things to say."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":589.54,"endTime":594.49,"body":"Yeah. I mean, I don't"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":589.54,"endTime":594.49,"body":"think I walk around going I'm so"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":594.49,"endTime":599.53,"body":"grateful for that pain. Yay for"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":594.49,"endTime":599.53,"body":"my divorce! I mean, like that"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":599.53,"endTime":605.47,"body":"was, you know, really hard. I'm"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":599.53,"endTime":605.47,"body":"the first person in our larger"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":605.47,"endTime":607.81,"body":"group of friends from our"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":605.47,"endTime":607.81,"body":"twenties and when we were young"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":607.81,"endTime":612.94,"body":"growing up, whose marriage"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":607.81,"endTime":612.94,"body":"dissolved. And that was really,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":612.94,"endTime":615.4,"body":"really painful. And I lost"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":612.94,"endTime":615.4,"body":"friends in the midst of that"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":615.4,"endTime":618.19,"body":"process and all of those"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":615.4,"endTime":618.19,"body":"associated hurts. But I can tell"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":618.19,"endTime":621.43,"body":"you that when I've navigated"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":618.19,"endTime":621.43,"body":"talking about relationships with"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":621.43,"endTime":626.83,"body":"my students, and I've brought up"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":621.43,"endTime":626.83,"body":"the notion of divorce, I've had"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":626.83,"endTime":630.49,"body":"a lot of nodding heads. So that"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":626.83,"endTime":630.49,"body":"means a lot of my students have"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":630.49,"endTime":634.48,"body":"navigated that specific hurt in"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":630.49,"endTime":634.48,"body":"their lives as kids. So now, all"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":634.48,"endTime":639.13,"body":"of a sudden, I had something to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":634.48,"endTime":639.13,"body":"offer in terms of a vulnerable"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":639.13,"endTime":644.08,"body":"position of, well, here it is,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":639.13,"endTime":644.08,"body":"and, and I've come out on the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":644.08,"endTime":645.16,"body":"other side different."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":646.23,"endTime":650.52,"body":"Which is interesting,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":646.23,"endTime":650.52,"body":"though, because  maybe not"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":650.52,"endTime":659.7,"body":"everyone is able to integrate or"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":650.52,"endTime":659.7,"body":"reframe as adeptly so that's"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":659.7,"endTime":666.24,"body":"kudos to you. Maybe we should"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":659.7,"endTime":666.24,"body":"say what have been our biggest"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":666.24,"endTime":669.33,"body":"moments of reframing. So you've"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":666.24,"endTime":669.33,"body":"sort of alluded to needing to"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":669.36,"endTime":678.63,"body":"reframe your divorce. That's"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":669.36,"endTime":678.63,"body":"been maybe the fundamental thing"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":678.75,"endTime":681.12,"body":"you have needed to reframe,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":681.42,"endTime":683.82,"body":"You know, no, I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":681.42,"endTime":683.82,"body":"wouldn't say that. I think I had"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":683.82,"endTime":686.28,"body":"written down for myself, when I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":683.82,"endTime":686.28,"body":"was sort of contemplating"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":686.31,"endTime":690.72,"body":"thoughts for this conversation"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":686.31,"endTime":690.72,"body":"that divorce was a big one. But"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":690.78,"endTime":696.06,"body":"I would actually say that"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":690.78,"endTime":696.06,"body":"getting sick was the big thing."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":696.39,"endTime":703.47,"body":"That was like the ultimate"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":696.39,"endTime":703.47,"body":"experience of life change. That"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":703.47,"endTime":706.98,"body":"was like, what, nine years ago,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":703.47,"endTime":706.98,"body":"right? 9 or 10 years ago, when"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":707.01,"endTime":712.74,"body":"all of a sudden, I had a really,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":707.01,"endTime":712.74,"body":"really bad fever. And we had no"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":712.74,"endTime":717.54,"body":"idea where this fever had come"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":712.74,"endTime":717.54,"body":"from. And I was in a new"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":717.54,"endTime":726.03,"body":"relationship with my now"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":717.54,"endTime":726.03,"body":"husband. He saw that I didn't"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":726.03,"endTime":728.79,"body":"feel good and said maybe I'll"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":726.03,"endTime":728.79,"body":"change the sheets so that you"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":728.79,"endTime":731.61,"body":"don't feel so sweaty in bed. But"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":728.79,"endTime":731.61,"body":"as he started to change the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":731.61,"endTime":734.43,"body":"sheets, I couldn't stand up. And"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":731.61,"endTime":734.43,"body":"we looked down at my leg, and my"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":734.43,"endTime":738.87,"body":"leg was like double the size of"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":734.43,"endTime":738.87,"body":"what a leg should be. And we"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":738.87,"endTime":741.57,"body":"went straight to the doctor who"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":738.87,"endTime":741.57,"body":"sent us straight to the emerg"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":741.87,"endTime":745.62,"body":"where everything just kind of"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":741.87,"endTime":745.62,"body":"went crazy. I remember the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":745.62,"endTime":748.68,"body":"emergency doctor sort of talking"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":745.62,"endTime":748.68,"body":"to himself, but saying out loud,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":749.04,"endTime":751.8,"body":"\"we might have to cut it off.\""},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":749.04,"endTime":751.8,"body":"And the it he was talking about"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":751.83,"endTime":761.04,"body":"was my leg. But the fever rash"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":751.83,"endTime":761.04,"body":"thing had gone up into my hip,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":761.07,"endTime":764.04,"body":"so I'm thinking where would you"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":761.07,"endTime":764.04,"body":"even cut it off from? I mean, it"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":764.04,"endTime":768.24,"body":"was like, you can't literally"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":764.04,"endTime":768.24,"body":"cut off half my body! It was so"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":770.04,"endTime":775.14,"body":"crazy. And they could not figure"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":770.04,"endTime":775.14,"body":"it out. Where did it even come"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":775.14,"endTime":779.04,"body":"from or what it was? I think"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":775.14,"endTime":779.04,"body":"retrospectively, they understood"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":779.04,"endTime":781.56,"body":"later that all of these"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":779.04,"endTime":781.56,"body":"specialists were like dealing"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":781.56,"endTime":785.04,"body":"with the outcome of something"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":781.56,"endTime":785.04,"body":"instead of dealing with the root"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":785.04,"endTime":786.57,"body":"cause because, by the time I was"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":785.04,"endTime":786.57,"body":"hospitablized it was just now"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":786.57,"endTime":791.37,"body":"about saving the leg and giving"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":786.57,"endTime":791.37,"body":"medicine to save the leg. But to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":791.37,"endTime":794.34,"body":"understand why the leg had"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":791.37,"endTime":794.34,"body":"gotten to that place was"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":794.61,"endTime":797.31,"body":"impossible to see because they"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":794.61,"endTime":797.31,"body":"had to see through all of the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":797.91,"endTime":801.0,"body":"the craziness. That was the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":797.91,"endTime":801.0,"body":"first time I went on a leave"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":801.0,"endTime":806.13,"body":"from work. I'd been teachings"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":801.0,"endTime":806.13,"body":"since I was 21. So now, having"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":806.13,"endTime":809.1,"body":"never had time off, all of a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":806.13,"endTime":809.1,"body":"sudden I couldn't go back to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":809.1,"endTime":812.85,"body":"work. When I asked the doctor,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":809.1,"endTime":812.85,"body":"\"Can I go back? When can I go"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":812.85,"endTime":816.3,"body":"back to work?\" he said, \"You're"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":812.85,"endTime":816.3,"body":"not understanding how serious"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":816.3,"endTime":823.98,"body":"this is.\" I almost died because"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":816.3,"endTime":823.98,"body":"I had gone septic, and I ended"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":824.01,"endTime":828.3,"body":"up with a picc line, direct to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":824.01,"endTime":828.3,"body":"my heart for a while. It was so"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":828.3,"endTime":830.94,"body":"much craziness converging at"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":828.3,"endTime":830.94,"body":"once: I'm in a new relationship,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":831.24,"endTime":835.23,"body":"it was an amazing thing to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":831.24,"endTime":835.23,"body":"observe how this human who had"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":835.23,"endTime":839.43,"body":"not signed up for this, (no one"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":835.23,"endTime":839.43,"body":"does) could take such deep care"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":839.46,"endTime":842.91,"body":"of me in the midst of that. So"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":839.46,"endTime":842.91,"body":"that was definitely part of I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":842.91,"endTime":846.66,"body":"think my reframing of what"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":842.91,"endTime":846.66,"body":"relationships meant. And that"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":846.66,"endTime":849.66,"body":"was amazing. But that positive"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":846.66,"endTime":849.66,"body":"component didn't like make"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":849.66,"endTime":854.49,"body":"everything good, right? I mean,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":849.66,"endTime":854.49,"body":"the end result was now me having"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":854.49,"endTime":858.06,"body":"to deal with this mystery of"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":854.49,"endTime":858.06,"body":"what was going on with my body."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":858.45,"endTime":861.84,"body":"My body didn't feel like mine. I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":858.45,"endTime":861.84,"body":"was used to being able to go to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":861.84,"endTime":864.09,"body":"the gym all the time and do all"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":861.84,"endTime":864.09,"body":"these things so easily. And now"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":864.09,"endTime":871.2,"body":"I couldn't. It took three years"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":864.09,"endTime":871.2,"body":"before they could even really"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":871.2,"endTime":875.67,"body":"figure out that it had been a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":871.2,"endTime":875.67,"body":"blood clot that had gotten"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":875.67,"endTime":883.32,"body":"infected. And that's just what"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":875.67,"endTime":883.32,"body":"they think. Even a decade later,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":883.32,"endTime":887.4,"body":"it's not truly been determined"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":883.32,"endTime":887.4,"body":"to be a truth. That's just their"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":887.94,"endTime":896.49,"body":"educated medical guess. And so I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":887.94,"endTime":896.49,"body":"think reframing came from me"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":896.49,"endTime":902.25,"body":"saying I have to be okay with"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":896.49,"endTime":902.25,"body":"not knowing things. The mystery"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":902.25,"endTime":911.55,"body":"of this whole experience is that"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":902.25,"endTime":911.55,"body":"I can still walk, I can still"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":911.55,"endTime":914.52,"body":"exercise (albeit differently"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":911.55,"endTime":914.52,"body":"than before), I can still do all"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":914.52,"endTime":917.4,"body":"sorts of things, but life looks"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":914.52,"endTime":917.4,"body":"different. My foot is always"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":917.4,"endTime":920.34,"body":"going to be swollen. I'm always"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":917.4,"endTime":920.34,"body":"going to have to wear these"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":920.34,"endTime":927.63,"body":"crazy compression socks. My son"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":920.34,"endTime":927.63,"body":"who's seven, only knows me as"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":927.63,"endTime":931.38,"body":"ever wearing two totally"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":927.63,"endTime":931.38,"body":"separate socks. I think it's"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":931.38,"endTime":933.93,"body":"kind of hilarious that when he"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":931.38,"endTime":933.93,"body":"puts on his socks in the morning"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":934.17,"endTime":938.4,"body":"he always wears two separate"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":934.17,"endTime":938.4,"body":"socks because that's how he sees"},{"speaker":"mommy gettig dressed","startTime":938.4,"endTime":943.2,"body":"one"},{"speaker":"mommy gettig dressed","startTime":938.4,"endTime":943.2,"body":"compression sock and whatever"},{"speaker":"mommy gettig dressed","startTime":943.2,"endTime":945.0,"body":"other sock I'm going to wear,"},{"speaker":"mommy gettig dressed","startTime":943.2,"endTime":945.0,"body":"right? Which is just kind of"},{"speaker":"mommy gettig dressed","startTime":945.0,"endTime":951.21,"body":"funny. But I mean, all these"},{"speaker":"mommy gettig dressed","startTime":945.0,"endTime":951.21,"body":"things have worked together for"},{"speaker":"mommy gettig dressed","startTime":952.38,"endTime":956.07,"body":"some good and that can sound so"},{"speaker":"mommy gettig dressed","startTime":952.38,"endTime":956.07,"body":"cheesy, but it isn't. I mean, it"},{"speaker":"mommy gettig dressed","startTime":956.07,"endTime":963.18,"body":"really truly has been a way to"},{"speaker":"mommy gettig dressed","startTime":956.07,"endTime":963.18,"body":"reframe life's ongoingness. This"},{"speaker":"mommy gettig dressed","startTime":963.18,"endTime":966.06,"body":"doesn't go away. I'll deal with"},{"speaker":"mommy gettig dressed","startTime":963.18,"endTime":966.06,"body":"this forever. But I'm still a"},{"speaker":"mommy gettig dressed","startTime":966.06,"endTime":971.55,"body":"teacher, and I'm a better"},{"speaker":"mommy gettig dressed","startTime":966.06,"endTime":971.55,"body":"teacher. I'm still a mother, and"},{"speaker":"mommy gettig dressed","startTime":971.55,"endTime":978.81,"body":"I'm a good mom. I'm definitely a"},{"speaker":"mommy gettig dressed","startTime":971.55,"endTime":978.81,"body":"better wife. I'm hopefully a"},{"speaker":"mommy gettig dressed","startTime":978.81,"endTime":981.54,"body":"better sister for having hurt."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":981.0,"endTime":991.59,"body":"It's such a big story"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":981.0,"endTime":991.59,"body":"because the thing that you"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":991.62,"endTime":998.37,"body":"experience on a day to day basis"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":991.62,"endTime":998.37,"body":"now is that you're you have one"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":998.37,"endTime":1001.04,"body":"leg that's always hurting."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1001.57,"endTime":1005.5,"body":"Yeah, it's never not on"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1001.57,"endTime":1005.5,"body":"my mind as it's always slightly"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1005.5,"endTime":1006.55,"body":"swollen often."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1007.3,"endTime":1011.44,"body":"Now you wear clothes"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1007.3,"endTime":1011.44,"body":"differently, right?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1011.56,"endTime":1014.56,"body":"I used to be like the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1011.56,"endTime":1014.56,"body":"queen of heels. I'd had amazing"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1014.56,"endTime":1016.36,"body":"shoes. And now I've like"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1014.56,"endTime":1016.36,"body":"whittled it down to like four"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1016.36,"endTime":1017.44,"body":"pairs and some days they don't"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1016.36,"endTime":1017.44,"body":"even work."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1017.8,"endTime":1019.39,"body":"I always remember that"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1017.8,"endTime":1019.39,"body":"you loved to wear shorts."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1019.39,"endTime":1021.97,"body":"I did. I used to love"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1019.39,"endTime":1021.97,"body":"wearing shorts and pencil"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1021.97,"endTime":1022.51,"body":"skirts."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1030.46,"endTime":1039.37,"body":"I always feel that for"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1030.46,"endTime":1039.37,"body":"you. Like, in some ways, your"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1039.37,"endTime":1042.43,"body":"daily life out in the world has"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1039.37,"endTime":1042.43,"body":"changed. You can't just throw on"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1043.57,"endTime":1044.65,"body":"sandals."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1045.01,"endTime":1047.65,"body":"Now luckily, I'm tall."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1045.01,"endTime":1047.65,"body":"So I feel really good in pants."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1050.47,"endTime":1058.09,"body":"I can really pull off a long"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1050.47,"endTime":1058.09,"body":"flowy pant.  But it's been"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1059.35,"endTime":1061.33,"body":"hard...thank you for"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1059.35,"endTime":1061.33,"body":"acknowledging that. It's been a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1061.33,"endTime":1061.66,"body":"shift."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1061.78,"endTime":1064.81,"body":"I mean you don't"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1061.78,"endTime":1064.81,"body":"complain about things at all,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1064.81,"endTime":1069.94,"body":"which I find astonishing. I feel"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1064.81,"endTime":1069.94,"body":"like you're describing this big"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1072.49,"endTime":1078.67,"body":"story but the day to day is"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1072.49,"endTime":1078.67,"body":"something is entirely different."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1078.82,"endTime":1082.12,"body":"The big experience or the big"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1078.82,"endTime":1082.12,"body":"story, and I have my own big"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1082.12,"endTime":1085.75,"body":"story, is one thing but it's the"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1082.12,"endTime":1085.75,"body":"day to day result of that story"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1085.75,"endTime":1087.49,"body":"that people don't see, you know"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1085.75,"endTime":1087.49,"body":"what I mean? That's what you"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1087.49,"endTime":1095.14,"body":"have to live. You could get"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1087.49,"endTime":1095.14,"body":"victimey about it pretty fast if"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1095.14,"endTime":1100.45,"body":"you wanted to. And I think that"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1095.14,"endTime":1100.45,"body":"for me the fact that you don't"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1100.9,"endTime":1106.72,"body":"is where I see this true wisdom,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1100.9,"endTime":1106.72,"body":"or something really deep there,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1106.72,"endTime":1110.29,"body":"that you really have managed to"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1106.72,"endTime":1110.29,"body":"not go there in your head. When"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1110.29,"endTime":1114.97,"body":"you look in your closet, I mean"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1110.29,"endTime":1114.97,"body":"do you just say \"Nope, I'm not"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1114.97,"endTime":1119.98,"body":"going to go to those thoughts of"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1114.97,"endTime":1119.98,"body":"self-pity\" or have you actually"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1119.98,"endTime":1124.15,"body":"trained yourself to be a certain"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1119.98,"endTime":1124.15,"body":"way about things?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1123.23,"endTime":1127.52,"body":"You know, I think the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1123.23,"endTime":1127.52,"body":"closet  has been a part of my"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1127.52,"endTime":1130.37,"body":"process of reframing because"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1127.52,"endTime":1130.37,"body":"there are a number of dresses,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1130.37,"endTime":1134.12,"body":"for example, that I still have"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1130.37,"endTime":1134.12,"body":"in my closet that I can't wear"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1134.15,"endTime":1138.17,"body":"the same way...but once I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1134.15,"endTime":1138.17,"body":"discovered that you could get"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1138.17,"endTime":1142.49,"body":"not just compression socks but"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1138.17,"endTime":1142.49,"body":"compression tights my fashion"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1142.49,"endTime":1145.97,"body":"situation chagned! That's"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1142.49,"endTime":1145.97,"body":"why the winter is my favorite ti"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1145.97,"endTime":1150.23,"body":"e! I can wear these really"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1145.97,"endTime":1150.23,"body":"hot itchy tights with less it"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1150.23,"endTime":1153.86,"body":"h because the cold helps"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1150.23,"endTime":1153.86,"body":"hem be more bearable. And with t"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1153.86,"endTime":1156.98,"body":"em I can wear some of my awesom"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1153.86,"endTime":1156.98,"body":"dresses. I'll step out of my"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1157.01,"endTime":1161.27,"body":"ouse like \"This is my season"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1157.01,"endTime":1161.27,"body":"Someone take a picture of me"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1161.27,"endTime":1164.24,"body":"ecause I look really good right"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1161.27,"endTime":1164.24,"body":"now!\" as I step in some school"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1164.24,"endTime":1166.52,"body":"uilding having crunched through"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1164.24,"endTime":1166.52,"body":"the snow to get there! Anyways,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1166.52,"endTime":1172.07,"body":"I think that that the closet ha"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1166.52,"endTime":1172.07,"body":"been a symbol for how I have f"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1172.07,"endTime":1178.16,"body":"und a way to reframe my wardr"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1172.07,"endTime":1178.16,"body":"be frustrations. I've made th"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1178.16,"endTime":1181.4,"body":"t old wardrobe new right? I mea"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1178.16,"endTime":1181.4,"body":", like when you talked about Dic"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1181.4,"endTime":1184.22,"body":"inson's telling it slant, I thin"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1181.4,"endTime":1184.22,"body":"that's been one of the ways"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1185.21,"endTime":1189.47,"body":"I've navigated my closet. Refra"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1185.21,"endTime":1189.47,"body":"ing it has been me finding a wa"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1189.47,"endTime":1193.01,"body":"to make it mine again with t"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1189.47,"endTime":1193.01,"body":"ese crazy tights."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1201.39,"endTime":1207.09,"body":"And I guess you're more"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1201.39,"endTime":1207.09,"body":"used to it now.  I remember that"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1212.37,"endTime":1219.84,"body":"we went to Mexico a few years"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1212.37,"endTime":1219.84,"body":"ago we we're still getting used"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1222.48,"endTime":1235.59,"body":"to your leg issues in new"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1222.48,"endTime":1235.59,"body":"climates. I was like wanting to"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1235.59,"endTime":1240.63,"body":"lie down and just lay out in the"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1235.59,"endTime":1240.63,"body":"Mexico sun. And you would be"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1240.63,"endTime":1244.11,"body":"like, I gotta move. I got to I"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1240.63,"endTime":1244.11,"body":"can't stay here. I'm too hot. My"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1244.11,"endTime":1245.94,"body":"leg is swelling up. You didn't"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1244.11,"endTime":1245.94,"body":"really know what was happening."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1245.0,"endTime":1249.56,"body":"If we were to do that"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1245.0,"endTime":1249.56,"body":"holiday again I think I'd be a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1249.56,"endTime":1252.38,"body":"different person because I now"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1249.56,"endTime":1252.38,"body":"just know what's coming. So we"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1252.5,"endTime":1257.51,"body":"should try it again. Post"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1252.5,"endTime":1257.51,"body":"pandemic, we should try a hot"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1257.51,"endTime":1262.58,"body":"holiday. And I would just accept"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1257.51,"endTime":1262.58,"body":"that if I can keep my leg up and"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1262.58,"endTime":1267.41,"body":"high, and take lots of walks, we"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1262.58,"endTime":1267.41,"body":"can make it work! You'll find me"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1267.41,"endTime":1270.02,"body":"marching back and forth across"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1267.41,"endTime":1270.02,"body":"the resort and while I'm doing"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1270.02,"endTime":1272.33,"body":"laps, you can lay out!"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1272.0,"endTime":1274.52,"body":"You do need a lot of"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1272.0,"endTime":1274.52,"body":"movement to keep the blood"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1274.52,"endTime":1280.46,"body":"flowing. Sometimes I think about"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1274.52,"endTime":1280.46,"body":"how while you were having that"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1280.46,"endTime":1287.0,"body":"big moment in your life, I was"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1280.46,"endTime":1287.0,"body":"having a big moment.  Violet, my"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1287.0,"endTime":1294.14,"body":"youngest daughter, we found out"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1287.0,"endTime":1294.14,"body":"in the first ultrasound that she"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1294.14,"endTime":1301.76,"body":"had a serious heart defect. She"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1294.14,"endTime":1301.76,"body":"was going to need open heart"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1301.76,"endTime":1309.77,"body":"surgery at six months. So I feel"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1301.76,"endTime":1309.77,"body":"like I went into kind of a daze"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1309.89,"endTime":1312.98,"body":"and was super self absorbed and"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1309.89,"endTime":1312.98,"body":"inward just trying to cope with"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1312.98,"endTime":1316.91,"body":"that. And I think it was, well"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1312.98,"endTime":1316.91,"body":"when was it in relation to your"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1316.91,"endTime":1319.25,"body":"illness? It was kind of around"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1316.91,"endTime":1319.25,"body":"the same time because Violet is"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1319.25,"endTime":1325.73,"body":"now eight. So in around there,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1319.25,"endTime":1325.73,"body":"your recovery was when I was"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1325.73,"endTime":1330.41,"body":"also navigating that. And that's"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1325.73,"endTime":1330.41,"body":"an interesting one for me,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1330.41,"endTime":1336.77,"body":"because I don't know how"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1330.41,"endTime":1336.77,"body":"successfully I have reframed"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1336.77,"endTime":1341.81,"body":"that whole reality. That's still"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1336.77,"endTime":1341.81,"body":"one I do some therapy to talk"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1341.81,"endTime":1347.3,"body":"about. Recently, with a new"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1341.81,"endTime":1347.3,"body":"therapist, it came up again, and"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1347.3,"endTime":1353.39,"body":"I was realizing that I that I"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1347.3,"endTime":1353.39,"body":"still have a lot of grief over"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1353.39,"endTime":1356.99,"body":"it or can brings up a lot of"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1353.39,"endTime":1356.99,"body":"fear like, for example, if she"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1356.99,"endTime":1361.31,"body":"has a rash. It must be a"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1356.99,"endTime":1361.31,"body":"combination of both of our"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1361.31,"endTime":1367.1,"body":"stories because I'll get up in"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1361.31,"endTime":1367.1,"body":"the middle of the night and take"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1367.1,"endTime":1371.03,"body":"a flashlight to examine the rash"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1367.1,"endTime":1371.03,"body":"spread on her. So I think"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1374.45,"endTime":1378.41,"body":"there's just still a lot of"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1374.45,"endTime":1378.41,"body":"emotion for me there. But does"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1378.41,"endTime":1387.86,"body":"that mean I haven't reframed? Or"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1378.41,"endTime":1387.86,"body":"is the reframing just daily?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1388.74,"endTime":1392.31,"body":"Well, the word I was"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1388.74,"endTime":1392.31,"body":"using was \"ongoing\" right? So I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1392.31,"endTime":1394.98,"body":"think that there is something"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1392.31,"endTime":1394.98,"body":"that is like a daily practice"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1394.98,"endTime":1398.82,"body":"for sure. But don't you think it"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1394.98,"endTime":1398.82,"body":"also means that that's both of"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1398.82,"endTime":1405.03,"body":"these types of massive life"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1398.82,"endTime":1405.03,"body":"traumas or hurdles have made us"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1405.57,"endTime":1419.37,"body":"need each other more? I mean, we"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1405.57,"endTime":1419.37,"body":"could have been, like so many"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1419.37,"endTime":1421.8,"body":"siblings, and it's totally what"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1419.37,"endTime":1421.8,"body":"happens in some family"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1421.8,"endTime":1424.74,"body":"relationships where they are"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1421.8,"endTime":1424.74,"body":"really tight when they're young,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1424.74,"endTime":1428.1,"body":"and then they grew up and go in"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1424.74,"endTime":1428.1,"body":"different directions. Whereas we"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1428.34,"endTime":1432.96,"body":"grew up really tight. I had a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1428.34,"endTime":1432.96,"body":"few years of like, like, I made"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1432.96,"endTime":1444.21,"body":"you get out of that moving car"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1432.96,"endTime":1444.21,"body":"once when I was really mad but"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1444.21,"endTime":1447.27,"body":"even with all that teenage"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1444.21,"endTime":1447.27,"body":"fighting, now on the other side"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1447.27,"endTime":1453.24,"body":"of that, I feel like we've kind"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1447.27,"endTime":1453.24,"body":"of come to the last decade of"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1453.24,"endTime":1454.68,"body":"really needing each other."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1455.49,"endTime":1458.97,"body":"Right. I wonder if it's"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1455.49,"endTime":1458.97,"body":"some of those really big events"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1459.0,"endTime":1459.45,"body":"that caused our return?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1459.48,"endTime":1467.25,"body":"I think so. And the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1459.48,"endTime":1467.25,"body":"need to reframe them has"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1467.25,"endTime":1470.76,"body":"required each other's support"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1467.25,"endTime":1470.76,"body":"and conversation. I think that"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1470.76,"endTime":1475.53,"body":"that speaks to the the way that"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1470.76,"endTime":1475.53,"body":"lots of people in the world need"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1475.56,"endTime":1478.8,"body":"someone to talk to whether"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1475.56,"endTime":1478.8,"body":"that's a counselor or a sister."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1478.83,"endTime":1485.13,"body":"Yeah, someone to keep"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1478.83,"endTime":1485.13,"body":"you up, keeping buoyed."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1486.29,"endTime":1489.23,"body":"Yeah, like energy to do"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1486.29,"endTime":1489.23,"body":"another day."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1496.82,"endTime":1500.15,"body":"I'm sure both of those"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1496.82,"endTime":1500.15,"body":"things will come up in other"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1500.15,"endTime":1504.62,"body":"episodes. I am thinking now of"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1500.15,"endTime":1504.62,"body":"more daily reframes, less heavy"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1505.46,"endTime":1511.01,"body":"than open heart surgery (which"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1505.46,"endTime":1511.01,"body":"the doctors did very well by the"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1511.01,"endTime":1512.09,"body":"way. They did brilliantly!)"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1512.15,"endTime":1515.12,"body":"Yes. So that's much"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1512.15,"endTime":1515.12,"body":"gratitude for that."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1515.0,"endTime":1524.96,"body":"But I also think as an"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1515.0,"endTime":1524.96,"body":"artist you help me reframe on a"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1524.96,"endTime":1532.58,"body":"more regular basis, just"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1524.96,"endTime":1532.58,"body":"navigating the rejections and"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1532.58,"endTime":1539.09,"body":"the ups and downs of the"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1532.58,"endTime":1539.09,"body":"artist's life - there are so"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1539.09,"endTime":1544.31,"body":"many! I was reading someone's"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1539.09,"endTime":1544.31,"body":"Twitter, an actor who was saying"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1546.92,"endTime":1553.46,"body":"she was on her 100th audition."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1546.92,"endTime":1553.46,"body":"She was like there's one unicorn"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1553.55,"endTime":1557.6,"body":"in these 100 audition as she"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1553.55,"endTime":1557.6,"body":"landed one single part of 100."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1559.04,"endTime":1559.76,"body":"That's insane!"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1561.86,"endTime":1571.31,"body":"I can't get my head"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1561.86,"endTime":1571.31,"body":"around that. I mean, I guess I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1571.31,"endTime":1574.37,"body":"can with academia. It's crazy,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1571.31,"endTime":1574.37,"body":"right? I mean, to try and get a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1574.37,"endTime":1578.54,"body":"job. I mean, even just to try to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1574.37,"endTime":1578.54,"body":"land a course to teach."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1582.47,"endTime":1589.13,"body":"Well, in academia"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1582.47,"endTime":1589.13,"body":"you're just not going to get a"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1589.13,"endTime":1592.07,"body":"job right? You're not gonna get"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1589.13,"endTime":1592.07,"body":"a tenured job realistically,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1594.35,"endTime":1606.86,"body":"it's just a \"no\" except for the"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1594.35,"endTime":1606.86,"body":"odd one who's willing to move"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1606.86,"endTime":1612.05,"body":"acrossthe country or whatever."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1606.86,"endTime":1612.05,"body":"But I feel like in the arts,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1612.05,"endTime":1618.23,"body":"it's more like the thought that"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1612.05,"endTime":1618.23,"body":"you might get it...there's"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1619.7,"endTime":1622.94,"body":"something more masochistic about"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1619.7,"endTime":1622.94,"body":"it because you're trying for the"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1622.94,"endTime":1623.6,"body":"dangling carrot."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1625.94,"endTime":1628.88,"body":"huh? Yeah, like"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1625.94,"endTime":1628.88,"body":"myacademic carrot is gold."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1629.12,"endTime":1631.76,"body":"Yeah. So it's just not"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1629.12,"endTime":1631.76,"body":"actually going to happen."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1631.76,"endTime":1636.2,"body":"Whereas your carrot is"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1631.76,"endTime":1636.2,"body":"orange so it is possible..."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1636.0,"endTime":1640.38,"body":"Or you feel like it's"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1636.0,"endTime":1640.38,"body":"possible. So I'll put on that"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1640.89,"endTime":1645.81,"body":"dumb outfit again or whatever"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1640.89,"endTime":1645.81,"body":"for the next audition. So, with"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1645.81,"endTime":1649.29,"body":"that in mind, what is the"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1645.81,"endTime":1649.29,"body":"difference between reframing and"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1649.29,"endTime":1655.98,"body":"trying to fix something for the"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1649.29,"endTime":1655.98,"body":"other person? We've had some"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1655.98,"endTime":1661.62,"body":"talks about this - recognizing"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1655.98,"endTime":1661.62,"body":"that you can't fix it. Like is"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1661.62,"endTime":1667.29,"body":"it's delicate, right. How do you"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1661.62,"endTime":1667.29,"body":"see that? Because sometimes we"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1667.29,"endTime":1671.13,"body":"can't fix things for the other."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1667.29,"endTime":1671.13,"body":"I think a hard thing for me with"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1671.13,"endTime":1676.59,"body":"your leg is that I can't fix"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1671.13,"endTime":1676.59,"body":"that for you. And I don't know,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1676.59,"endTime":1679.59,"body":"how do you speak to that? I"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1676.59,"endTime":1679.59,"body":"mean, you couldn't fix the heart"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1679.59,"endTime":1679.83,"body":"thing."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1679.83,"endTime":1681.84,"body":"I know. We just go"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1679.83,"endTime":1681.84,"body":"through the hard thing."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1683.22,"endTime":1683.61,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1683.96,"endTime":1696.59,"body":"Whether reframing a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1683.96,"endTime":1696.59,"body":"really deep hurt, or even a more"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1697.88,"endTime":1705.95,"body":"regular every day challenge, I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1697.88,"endTime":1705.95,"body":"think that at some level"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1706.04,"endTime":1710.33,"body":"reframing opens up some space"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1706.04,"endTime":1710.33,"body":"for hope or like the potential"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1710.33,"endTime":1720.89,"body":"for hope, as opposed to looking"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1710.33,"endTime":1720.89,"body":"at it from the angle of  a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1720.89,"endTime":1724.91,"body":"completely closed door. There"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1720.89,"endTime":1724.91,"body":"are those cliches like when a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1724.91,"endTime":1729.65,"body":"door closes, a window opens or"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1724.91,"endTime":1729.65,"body":"whatever. And even though I find"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1729.65,"endTime":1732.95,"body":"that type of cliche sort of"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1729.65,"endTime":1732.95,"body":"affronting to my artistic"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1733.1,"endTime":1736.58,"body":"sensibilities, at the same time"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1733.1,"endTime":1736.58,"body":"I do believe that there is some"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1736.88,"endTime":1744.41,"body":"value in finding a way towards"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1736.88,"endTime":1744.41,"body":"those feelings of hope. Ha! Does"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1744.41,"endTime":1753.26,"body":"that mean my reframing is just a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1744.41,"endTime":1753.26,"body":"big cliche? Oh, gosh. But"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1754.1,"endTime":1762.95,"body":"anyways I do think there is some"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1754.1,"endTime":1762.95,"body":"potential hope that I am always"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1762.95,"endTime":1763.91,"body":"striving towards."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1764.14,"endTime":1766.39,"body":"Okay, so say that"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1764.14,"endTime":1766.39,"body":"again. You're saying that it's"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1766.39,"endTime":1774.4,"body":"not fixing something for"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1766.39,"endTime":1774.4,"body":"someone, it's just being there"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1774.4,"endTime":1777.34,"body":"with them and having, maybe,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1774.4,"endTime":1777.34,"body":"hope for them?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1777.37,"endTime":1780.19,"body":"Yeah. And maybe the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1777.37,"endTime":1780.19,"body":"eyes to see the potential hope"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1780.76,"endTime":1786.4,"body":"with them and for them as"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1780.76,"endTime":1786.4,"body":"opposed to not seeing it at all."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1787.36,"endTime":1791.02,"body":"Okay, so then my"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1787.36,"endTime":1791.02,"body":"question is do you think"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1791.05,"endTime":1797.11,"body":"reframing has to have words?"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1791.05,"endTime":1797.11,"body":"Like do you have to be speaking?"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1798.67,"endTime":1802.72,"body":"LIke how do you feel about just"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1798.67,"endTime":1802.72,"body":"intentions?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1804.31,"endTime":1807.01,"body":"Oh, gosh, I don't know."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1804.31,"endTime":1807.01,"body":"That's really interesting. I do"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1807.01,"endTime":1809.05,"body":"think that words are pretty"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1807.01,"endTime":1809.05,"body":"important to me. I mean, as an"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1809.05,"endTime":1814.36,"body":"English teacher, I definitely"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1809.05,"endTime":1814.36,"body":"find lots of power in words, but"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1814.36,"endTime":1822.58,"body":"there is the risk of words"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1814.36,"endTime":1822.58,"body":"taking over."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1823.63,"endTime":1829.9,"body":"Yeah. Silence and just"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1823.63,"endTime":1829.9,"body":"sitting in hope, for someone or"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1830.47,"endTime":1831.82,"body":"anticipation."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1832.59,"endTime":1836.01,"body":"That's beautiful. And"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1832.59,"endTime":1836.01,"body":"you know what? My husband has"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1836.01,"endTime":1839.1,"body":"definitely said that to me at"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1836.01,"endTime":1839.1,"body":"different points. He's not a big"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1839.1,"endTime":1841.44,"body":"sharer so when all of a sudden"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1839.1,"endTime":1841.44,"body":"he shares and I just listen,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1841.47,"endTime":1844.86,"body":"he's actually said \"Thanks for"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1841.47,"endTime":1844.86,"body":"just listening.\" So perhaps I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1844.86,"endTime":1847.5,"body":"was reframing in that moment for"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1844.86,"endTime":1847.5,"body":"him in a way that he could"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1847.5,"endTime":1852.21,"body":"accept, as opposed to trying to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1847.5,"endTime":1852.21,"body":"say too many words, which is"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1852.21,"endTime":1855.06,"body":"perhaps just me processing, but"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1852.21,"endTime":1855.06,"body":"not useful to him in that space."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1855.06,"endTime":1863.13,"body":"So yeah,  silence is definitely"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1855.06,"endTime":1863.13,"body":"a part of the reframing process."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1863.37,"endTime":1867.45,"body":"It's not as natural for me"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1863.37,"endTime":1867.45,"body":"though and it's something I have"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1867.45,"endTime":1868.56,"body":"to keep working on."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1869.22,"endTime":1872.76,"body":"Yeah. I've experienced"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1869.22,"endTime":1872.76,"body":"that with my husband Simon."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1873.87,"endTime":1876.09,"body":"We've had to talk about that,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1873.87,"endTime":1876.09,"body":"because he definitely likes to"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1876.09,"endTime":1882.96,"body":"jump to offering words like"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1876.09,"endTime":1882.96,"body":"problem solving, and sometimes"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1882.96,"endTime":1886.56,"body":"his words...well maybe I like"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1882.96,"endTime":1886.56,"body":"your words more. So it's easier"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1886.56,"endTime":1889.56,"body":"with you. But his intention for"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1886.56,"endTime":1889.56,"body":"me and belief in me is"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1889.62,"endTime":1893.82,"body":"all positive. But he's"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1889.62,"endTime":1893.82,"body":"a scientist, and I'm an English"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1893.82,"endTime":1896.55,"body":"teacher. So there's going to be"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1893.82,"endTime":1896.55,"body":"two different types of words"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1896.55,"endTime":1897.78,"body":"coming out of our mouths."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1897.44,"endTime":1901.94,"body":"He's very pragmatic."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1897.44,"endTime":1901.94,"body":"Scientific. Yeah. Which doesn't"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1901.94,"endTime":1920.78,"body":"always work. So silence is"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1901.94,"endTime":1920.78,"body":"better. Maybe I appreci"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1920.78,"endTime":1924.71,"body":"te your specific brand of refr"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1920.78,"endTime":1924.71,"body":"ming best! I was even thinking"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1924.71,"endTime":1929.75,"body":"bout how dad's good at reframing"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1924.71,"endTime":1929.75,"body":"He's a minister and I would"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1929.25,"endTime":1946.2,"body":"He never dismisses the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1929.25,"endTime":1946.2,"body":"hurt."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1931.4,"endTime":1934.88,"body":"say, obviously, (or maybe tha"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1931.4,"endTime":1934.88,"body":"'s not obvious at all), but h"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1934.88,"endTime":1937.73,"body":"'s very good at seeing the large"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1934.88,"endTime":1937.73,"body":"picture of something."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1946.35,"endTime":1950.55,"body":"Yeah, he doesn't"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1946.35,"endTime":1950.55,"body":"dismiss it, but he's very much"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1951.03,"endTime":1953.88,"body":"pointing us to look beyond or"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1951.03,"endTime":1953.88,"body":"out."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1954.78,"endTime":1957.93,"body":"Yeah, that there's more"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1954.78,"endTime":1957.93,"body":"to life than whatever your small"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1957.93,"endTime":1961.32,"body":"hurt is, which may not feel"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1957.93,"endTime":1961.32,"body":"small in the moment."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1961.93,"endTime":1966.37,"body":"Yeah. So in certain"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1961.93,"endTime":1966.37,"body":"moods he's exactly who I want."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1969.52,"endTime":1979.15,"body":"But sometimes I think he can"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1969.52,"endTime":1979.15,"body":"only handle the smallness so"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1979.15,"endTime":1983.98,"body":"much.  Like if  I need to say"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1979.15,"endTime":1983.98,"body":"something too many times, like"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1984.01,"endTime":1988.3,"body":"\"why did this happen to me?\" I"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1984.01,"endTime":1988.3,"body":"think that about the fourth or"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1988.3,"endTime":1996.46,"body":"fifth time he might be done."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1988.3,"endTime":1996.46,"body":"That's not even a question he"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1996.46,"endTime":2002.55,"body":"asks. Do you think that's true?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2002.61,"endTime":2004.92,"body":"I don't know. Asking"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2002.61,"endTime":2004.92,"body":"those questions haven't been my"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2004.92,"endTime":2007.5,"body":"way necessarily. But I would say"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2004.92,"endTime":2007.5,"body":"he's totally patient."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2012.43,"endTime":2016.06,"body":"Well, my point here is"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2012.43,"endTime":2016.06,"body":"that I feel like you will meet"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2016.06,"endTime":2023.44,"body":"me all the times I need to look"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2016.06,"endTime":2023.44,"body":"at something very specifically"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2023.44,"endTime":2031.12,"body":"to analyze empathetically. So is"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2023.44,"endTime":2031.12,"body":"that what you you've got? An"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2031.12,"endTime":2034.69,"body":"enduring patience, which might"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2031.12,"endTime":2034.69,"body":"be a particular part of your"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2034.69,"endTime":2037.36,"body":"reframing? Maybe it's just for"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2034.69,"endTime":2037.36,"body":"me, but I feel like you would do"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2037.36,"endTime":2042.64,"body":"that with all your friends. You"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2037.36,"endTime":2042.64,"body":"would sit and and you would meet"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2042.64,"endTime":2044.74,"body":"them again and again."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2047.39,"endTime":2052.58,"body":"You know what? I hope"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2047.39,"endTime":2052.58,"body":"so. I do think that being a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2052.58,"endTime":2064.46,"body":"teacher is key, because I've"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2052.58,"endTime":2064.46,"body":"worked with 18 year olds for so"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2064.46,"endTime":2073.34,"body":"long. And all of them, even"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2064.46,"endTime":2073.34,"body":"though they've got their own"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2073.34,"endTime":2077.27,"body":"very specific stories and hurts,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2073.34,"endTime":2077.27,"body":"there's like a theme that runs"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2077.27,"endTime":2079.82,"body":"through a lot of their hurts."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2077.27,"endTime":2079.82,"body":"Stuff that is attached to their"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2079.82,"endTime":2086.57,"body":"very specific age group. And so"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2079.82,"endTime":2086.57,"body":"if you got too tired of"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2086.6,"endTime":2089.27,"body":"listening to such stories you'd"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2086.6,"endTime":2089.27,"body":"need to leave teaching - to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2089.27,"endTime":2093.44,"body":"sustain a 20 year career you've"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2089.27,"endTime":2093.44,"body":"got to find people's stories"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2093.47,"endTime":2097.97,"body":"interesting enough to find their"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2093.47,"endTime":2097.97,"body":"individuality in them. So I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2097.97,"endTime":2100.61,"body":"think that probably that means"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2097.97,"endTime":2100.61,"body":"coming back to the same hurts"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2100.61,"endTime":2112.13,"body":"again and again, to listen with"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2100.61,"endTime":2112.13,"body":"authentic interest, which I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2112.13,"endTime":2121.37,"body":"certainly try to do. But I mean,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2112.13,"endTime":2121.37,"body":"I have to say that I recognize"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2121.91,"endTime":2127.46,"body":"that I'm not great at being"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2121.91,"endTime":2127.46,"body":"super vulnerable and sharing my"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2128.72,"endTime":2136.07,"body":"biggest moments of hurt. I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2128.72,"endTime":2136.07,"body":"remember that when I was leading"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2136.07,"endTime":2140.3,"body":"up to my divorce, you said to me"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2136.07,"endTime":2140.3,"body":"at the time that I was kind of"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2140.3,"endTime":2141.65,"body":"getting my ducks in a row and"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2140.3,"endTime":2141.65,"body":"only then was I going to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2141.65,"endTime":2147.29,"body":"announce this thing that was"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2141.65,"endTime":2147.29,"body":"happening to me. But until you"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2147.29,"endTime":2150.17,"body":"said that I don't think I knew"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2147.29,"endTime":2150.17,"body":"that truth about myself. But"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2150.32,"endTime":2156.47,"body":"later, I was like, Wow, she"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2150.32,"endTime":2156.47,"body":"really knows me.  I think I was"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2156.47,"endTime":2159.08,"body":"just clocking it all in my head."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2156.47,"endTime":2159.08,"body":"But that style of being made me"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2159.08,"endTime":2164.63,"body":"really alone. Like that was a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2159.08,"endTime":2164.63,"body":"really lonely time. So I would"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2164.63,"endTime":2173.33,"body":"say that your brand, if we're"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2164.63,"endTime":2173.33,"body":"naming brands,  of reframing for"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2173.33,"endTime":2179.12,"body":"me is one that is curated very"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2173.33,"endTime":2179.12,"body":"gently. Like there's a gentle"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2179.42,"endTime":2183.11,"body":"wisdom that you share, because"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2179.42,"endTime":2183.11,"body":"you know, I can only handle so"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2183.11,"endTime":2191.03,"body":"much. In terms of the truth"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2183.11,"endTime":2191.03,"body":"bombs. I think I can steel"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2191.03,"endTime":2196.64,"body":"myself for them but definitely,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2191.03,"endTime":2196.64,"body":"the gentleness of the words that"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2196.64,"endTime":2199.25,"body":"you choose to share with me is"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2196.64,"endTime":2199.25,"body":"important. So everybody be"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2199.25,"endTime":2203.3,"body":"gentle. With me, if you ever run"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2199.25,"endTime":2203.3,"body":"into me out there in the world,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2204.35,"endTime":2205.79,"body":"I'm softer than I seem."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2206.26,"endTime":2228.25,"body":"Yeah, we all are. It's"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2206.26,"endTime":2228.25,"body":"also interesting to think about"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2228.25,"endTime":2231.1,"body":"where we learn to reframe. So I"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2228.25,"endTime":2231.1,"body":"was thinking about dad, for"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2231.1,"endTime":2238.06,"body":"sure. His reframing comes from"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2231.1,"endTime":2238.06,"body":"seeing the bigger picture and"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2239.56,"endTime":2247.93,"body":"seeing God, of course, as the"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2239.56,"endTime":2247.93,"body":"real reason for living. But"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2249.88,"endTime":2254.08,"body":"there are people who learn about"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2249.88,"endTime":2254.08,"body":"reframing from therapists. I've"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2254.08,"endTime":2261.31,"body":"been listening to Brene Brown a"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2254.08,"endTime":2261.31,"body":"lot. She's that sociologist who"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2261.31,"endTime":2265.96,"body":"talks about vulnerability and"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2261.31,"endTime":2265.96,"body":"the importance of it. And she's"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2265.96,"endTime":2269.38,"body":"been doing this podcast series"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2265.96,"endTime":2269.38,"body":"with her sisters, interestingly."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2272.65,"endTime":2279.88,"body":"She always refers to research,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2272.65,"endTime":2279.88,"body":"and says according to the"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2279.88,"endTime":2287.23,"body":"research that reframing happens"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2279.88,"endTime":2287.23,"body":"by being grateful. So the the"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2287.23,"endTime":2296.62,"body":"happiest people reframe to be"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2287.23,"endTime":2296.62,"body":"more joyful, right, and if you"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2296.62,"endTime":2316.21,"body":"don't reframe possibly, you're"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2296.62,"endTime":2316.21,"body":"going to be sad. So another"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2316.21,"endTime":2320.02,"body":"place to learn about reframing"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2316.21,"endTime":2320.02,"body":"is from therapists but I was"},{"speaker":"also thinking about you","startTime":2320.02,"endTime":2322.6,"body":"number"},{"speaker":"also thinking about you","startTime":2320.02,"endTime":2322.6,"body":"one, you don't listen to Bernie"},{"speaker":"also thinking about you","startTime":2322.6,"endTime":2327.1,"body":"Brown. I know that for a fact!"},{"speaker":"also thinking about you","startTime":2322.6,"endTime":2327.1,"body":"There was a paragraph I posted"},{"speaker":"also thinking about you","startTime":2329.17,"endTime":2332.77,"body":"in my newsletter about watching"},{"speaker":"also thinking about you","startTime":2329.17,"endTime":2332.77,"body":"the show \"In Treatment\" which is"},{"speaker":"also thinking about you","startTime":2332.77,"endTime":2337.09,"body":"about therapists. talking to"},{"speaker":"also thinking about you","startTime":2332.77,"endTime":2337.09,"body":"clients. And I was thinking, you"},{"speaker":"also thinking about you","startTime":2337.09,"endTime":2342.46,"body":"know, who will not watch this?"},{"speaker":"also thinking about you","startTime":2337.09,"endTime":2342.46,"body":"She will skim right over that"},{"speaker":"also thinking about you","startTime":2342.46,"endTime":2347.29,"body":"part of my newsletter because"},{"speaker":"also thinking about you","startTime":2342.46,"endTime":2347.29,"body":"you're like, just frankly, I've"},{"speaker":"also thinking about you","startTime":2347.29,"endTime":2354.52,"body":"been there! So how did you learn"},{"speaker":"also thinking about you","startTime":2347.29,"endTime":2354.52,"body":"to reframe so well when you"},{"speaker":"also thinking about you","startTime":2354.52,"endTime":2364.45,"body":"don't look to therapists?  I"},{"speaker":"also thinking about you","startTime":2354.52,"endTime":2364.45,"body":"don't think you feel like better"},{"speaker":"also thinking about you","startTime":2364.45,"endTime":2365.26,"body":"than a therapist."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2365.29,"endTime":2365.62,"body":"No!"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2365.62,"endTime":2373.93,"body":"They're just not...well"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2365.62,"endTime":2373.93,"body":"what? Really open up that brain"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2373.93,"endTime":2374.83,"body":"of yours for me!"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2374.9,"endTime":2377.3,"body":"Yeah, I find this a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2374.9,"endTime":2377.3,"body":"really interesting observation."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2379.76,"endTime":2389.27,"body":"I mean I did do work with three,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2379.76,"endTime":2389.27,"body":"maybe four therapists seriously."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2393.62,"endTime":2396.44,"body":"There was one who was like a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2393.62,"endTime":2396.44,"body":"complete write off because the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2396.44,"endTime":2399.92,"body":"first thing out of this guy's"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2396.44,"endTime":2399.92,"body":"mouth was you know, trying to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2399.92,"endTime":2403.13,"body":"blame my parents for everything."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2399.92,"endTime":2403.13,"body":"And at 20, I wasn't ready to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2403.13,"endTime":2408.41,"body":"blame my parents for everything."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2403.13,"endTime":2408.41,"body":"Maybe now I could give a little"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2408.41,"endTime":2410.3,"body":"more credence to that line of"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2408.41,"endTime":2410.3,"body":"thought because every kid should"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2410.3,"endTime":2414.02,"body":"be able to have that freedom."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2410.3,"endTime":2414.02,"body":"But at the time I wasn't there."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2415.67,"endTime":2421.73,"body":"As for the other three, this is"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2415.67,"endTime":2421.73,"body":"gonna sound like I'm anti"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2421.73,"endTime":2423.83,"body":"therapy but I'm not. I think"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2421.73,"endTime":2423.83,"body":"that there are lots of"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2423.83,"endTime":2426.53,"body":"wonderful, wonderful experiences"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2423.83,"endTime":2426.53,"body":"that lots of people have with"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2426.53,"endTime":2432.11,"body":"their therapists. But when"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2426.53,"endTime":2432.11,"body":"you've been burned by one of"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2432.11,"endTime":2437.84,"body":"your therapists, and when you"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2432.11,"endTime":2437.84,"body":"thought that the relationship"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2437.84,"endTime":2441.53,"body":"was one thing, like really"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2437.84,"endTime":2441.53,"body":"close, and then all of a sudden,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2441.71,"endTime":2444.23,"body":"they go kind of weird. Now"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2441.71,"endTime":2444.23,"body":"you're faced with their"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2444.23,"endTime":2448.07,"body":"humanity. And even though it's"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2444.23,"endTime":2448.07,"body":"cool to be human, I don't want"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2448.07,"endTime":2450.56,"body":"my therapist to be human - I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2448.07,"endTime":2450.56,"body":"want my therapist to be my"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2450.56,"endTime":2453.56,"body":"therapist!  And so having to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2450.56,"endTime":2453.56,"body":"kind of navigate and negotiate"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2453.56,"endTime":2457.37,"body":"some of those truths for myself,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2453.56,"endTime":2457.37,"body":"just made me over time,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2457.76,"endTime":2460.19,"body":"recognize that some people are"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2457.76,"endTime":2460.19,"body":"going to get a lot out of"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2460.28,"endTime":2465.77,"body":"therapy but maybe not me. Maybe"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2460.28,"endTime":2465.77,"body":"at some point, again, I'll have"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2465.77,"endTime":2468.56,"body":"to return, right? I mean that's"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2465.77,"endTime":2468.56,"body":"okay, if that's where my head"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2468.56,"endTime":2471.41,"body":"goes and if that's what I need,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2468.56,"endTime":2471.41,"body":"then I will totally be open to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2471.41,"endTime":2475.7,"body":"that. But in the last decade, I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2471.41,"endTime":2475.7,"body":"would say that my therapy has"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2475.7,"endTime":2485.3,"body":"emerged from a lot of reading,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2475.7,"endTime":2485.3,"body":"specifically philosophy. My PhDs"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2485.3,"endTime":2487.88,"body":"in education, but it was like"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2485.3,"endTime":2487.88,"body":"educational philosophy that was"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2487.88,"endTime":2491.24,"body":"really driving what I was"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2487.88,"endTime":2491.24,"body":"learning from different big"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2491.24,"endTime":2495.86,"body":"thinkers who've done a lot of"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2491.24,"endTime":2495.86,"body":"the work for me. I've been able"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2495.86,"endTime":2500.27,"body":"to glean from them nuggets of"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2495.86,"endTime":2500.27,"body":"wisdom that I've been able to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2500.27,"endTime":2503.6,"body":"apply to myself. I have had"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2500.27,"endTime":2503.6,"body":"various students say to me over"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2503.6,"endTime":2506.84,"body":"time \"Ms. Davey, how do you make"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2503.6,"endTime":2506.84,"body":"that link? How did you jump from"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2506.84,"endTime":2509.75,"body":"that to that?\" Whether it's a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2506.84,"endTime":2509.75,"body":"blessing or a curse, because"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2509.75,"endTime":2519.17,"body":"some people don't make the jump"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2509.75,"endTime":2519.17,"body":"with me, but I can see links. So"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2519.17,"endTime":2525.23,"body":"I think making links between"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2519.17,"endTime":2525.23,"body":"philosophical thoughts, and"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2525.53,"endTime":2530.3,"body":"healing your soul and healing my"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2525.53,"endTime":2530.3,"body":"leg and my soul, have perhaps"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2530.3,"endTime":2538.19,"body":"been very useful parts of my"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2530.3,"endTime":2538.19,"body":"reframing process. So this was"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2538.67,"endTime":2542.99,"body":"not an anti-therapist rant at"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2538.67,"endTime":2542.99,"body":"all!"}]}