{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":48.09,"endTime":54.24,"body":"Welcome back to Sister"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":48.09,"endTime":54.24,"body":"on! Hey, Bec, we really jumped"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":54.24,"endTime":58.38,"body":"into the deep stuff in our first"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":54.24,"endTime":58.38,"body":"episode. Like I think maybe I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":58.38,"endTime":61.95,"body":"just need to tell some people"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":58.38,"endTime":61.95,"body":"about basics, like even just the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":61.95,"endTime":65.13,"body":"names of our kids and our"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":61.95,"endTime":65.13,"body":"spouses and our cats, like"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":65.13,"endTime":67.41,"body":"things that are going to pop up"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":65.13,"endTime":67.41,"body":"again and again, in each"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":67.41,"endTime":68.43,"body":"episode. What do you think?"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":69.12,"endTime":72.18,"body":"True? Like, we might"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":69.12,"endTime":72.18,"body":"have startled some people."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":73.17,"endTime":76.74,"body":"I mean, I'm okay with"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":73.17,"endTime":76.74,"body":"that. I think punchy is good."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":81.69,"endTime":87.36,"body":"So my spouse is Simon."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":81.69,"endTime":87.36,"body":"And he's a scientist. And that's"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":87.45,"endTime":95.16,"body":"relevant because sometimes I"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":87.45,"endTime":95.16,"body":"might have scientisty things to"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":95.16,"endTime":99.6,"body":"say. Although, I don't generally"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":95.16,"endTime":99.6,"body":"have science things to say do I?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":100.26,"endTime":104.52,"body":"Well, science nuggets"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":100.26,"endTime":104.52,"body":"might just show up so that's"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":104.7,"endTime":104.79,"body":"fair."},{"speaker":"Rebecca: I have two daughters","startTime":106.2,"endTime":110.64,"body":"Elsie, who is the eldest and"},{"speaker":"Rebecca: I have two daughters","startTime":110.64,"endTime":120.36,"body":"Violet, my eight-year-old. And I"},{"speaker":"Rebecca: I have two daughters","startTime":110.64,"endTime":120.36,"body":"have a cat Coco. And I am a"},{"speaker":"Rebecca: I have two daughters","startTime":120.36,"endTime":124.92,"body":"writer, producer, entrepreneur."},{"speaker":"Rebecca: I have two daughters","startTime":120.36,"endTime":124.92,"body":"Those are my basics."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":125.92,"endTime":131.17,"body":"Not at all basic. Those"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":125.92,"endTime":131.17,"body":"are exceptional. Okay. My"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":131.2,"endTime":134.83,"body":"\"exceptional\" details are that"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":131.2,"endTime":134.83,"body":"my spouse's name is Clifford."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":135.4,"endTime":142.0,"body":"And he's from England. So we"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":135.4,"endTime":142.0,"body":"have a lot of fun just listening"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":142.0,"endTime":147.76,"body":"to his British accent. Everybody"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":142.0,"endTime":147.76,"body":"enjoys that part, including our"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":147.76,"endTime":152.17,"body":"son, Frankie, who at seven can"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":147.76,"endTime":152.17,"body":"now speak in a quite excellent"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":152.53,"endTime":156.82,"body":"British accent. And actually,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":152.53,"endTime":156.82,"body":"he's now added a Scottish accent"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":156.82,"endTime":160.24,"body":"to his to his sort of"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":156.82,"endTime":160.24,"body":"repertoire. So that's been a lot"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":160.24,"endTime":164.77,"body":"of fun. Um, and my job I think I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":160.24,"endTime":164.77,"body":"mentioned in the last podcast,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":164.77,"endTime":169.57,"body":"I'm a teacher, writer,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":164.77,"endTime":169.57,"body":"philosopher, but teacher first"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":169.57,"endTime":174.82,"body":"and foremost. And my cat's name"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":169.57,"endTime":174.82,"body":"is Marsh and our cats Marsh and"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":174.82,"endTime":177.55,"body":"Coco are definitive frenemies."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":180.04,"endTime":182.98,"body":"We tried to make them"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":180.04,"endTime":182.98,"body":"friends, but it didn't work out."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":183.82,"endTime":187.45,"body":"And I I continue to just want"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":183.82,"endTime":187.45,"body":"the credit for saying I knew it"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":187.45,"endTime":188.26,"body":"wouldn't work."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":190.31,"endTime":193.46,"body":"But I would like to say"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":190.31,"endTime":193.46,"body":"that I have long term goals. And"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":193.46,"endTime":197.12,"body":"I think that over time, like"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":193.46,"endTime":197.12,"body":"those cats, that Dad mentioned,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":197.27,"endTime":200.93,"body":"of our cousins who pretended"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":197.27,"endTime":200.93,"body":"that they hated each other and"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":200.93,"endTime":203.24,"body":"then died one week from each"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":200.93,"endTime":203.24,"body":"other because they were"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":203.24,"endTime":205.79,"body":"basically lost and lonely for"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":203.24,"endTime":205.79,"body":"each other at the end of their"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":205.79,"endTime":210.35,"body":"lives. I'm just saying I think"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":205.79,"endTime":210.35,"body":"that could learn to love each"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":210.35,"endTime":214.52,"body":"other by the end. So those are"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":210.35,"endTime":214.52,"body":"the specifics of my life."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":215.03,"endTime":218.18,"body":"Okay, and just checking"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":215.03,"endTime":218.18,"body":"in, was Marsh on a bender last"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":218.18,"endTime":218.51,"body":"night?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":219.14,"endTime":221.93,"body":"An absolute bender. We"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":219.14,"endTime":221.93,"body":"got home from the farm and she"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":221.93,"endTime":224.42,"body":"had been trapped inside for a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":221.93,"endTime":224.42,"body":"week because she didn't want to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":224.42,"endTime":228.56,"body":"be near Coco. And then she"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":224.42,"endTime":228.56,"body":"basically got home and said, I'm"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":228.59,"endTime":233.18,"body":"out and then didn't return this"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":228.59,"endTime":233.18,"body":"morning until, like 830. She"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":233.18,"endTime":236.12,"body":"sort of shows up going, \"Hey,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":233.18,"endTime":236.12,"body":"I'm here. I'm back. I've been to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":236.12,"endTime":238.55,"body":"all my friends.\" So, yes for the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":236.12,"endTime":238.55,"body":"bender."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":239.18,"endTime":243.05,"body":"We like to talk about"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":239.18,"endTime":243.05,"body":"Marsh's benders. We think we're"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":243.05,"endTime":244.04,"body":"funny when we say that."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":245.45,"endTime":246.08,"body":"Exactly."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":247.4,"endTime":252.56,"body":"So okay, so what's one"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":247.4,"endTime":252.56,"body":"of our biggest similarities? You"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":252.56,"endTime":255.32,"body":"and me. For people who are just"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":252.56,"endTime":255.32,"body":"trying to get to know us as"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":255.32,"endTime":257.39,"body":"sisters. What would you say?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":259.82,"endTime":263.51,"body":"I think we're both very"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":259.82,"endTime":263.51,"body":"empathetic people. That would be"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":263.54,"endTime":264.65,"body":"a big similarity."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":266.21,"endTime":269.78,"body":"I was thinking how"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":266.21,"endTime":269.78,"body":"we're both extremely analytical"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":269.81,"endTime":281.36,"body":"and extremely persistent. Like"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":269.81,"endTime":281.36,"body":"how you will persist with our"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":281.36,"endTime":282.86,"body":"cat friendship."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":283.16,"endTime":285.56,"body":"Exactly. Yeah, and it"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":283.16,"endTime":285.56,"body":"will and it will come to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":285.56,"endTime":287.18,"body":"fruition. There you go."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":287.57,"endTime":290.33,"body":"Okay, and our biggest"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":287.57,"endTime":290.33,"body":"difference according to you?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":293.24,"endTime":299.99,"body":"I'd say that I am more"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":293.24,"endTime":299.99,"body":"precise in things that matter to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":299.99,"endTime":303.62,"body":"me, and then less in things that"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":299.99,"endTime":303.62,"body":"matter sometimes to you. So for"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":303.62,"endTime":308.15,"body":"example, the way that I bake"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":303.62,"endTime":308.15,"body":"might drive you crazy, because I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":308.15,"endTime":311.27,"body":"like to just sort of throw stuff"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":308.15,"endTime":311.27,"body":"together and make it work on my"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":311.27,"endTime":315.41,"body":"terms. But the way that I would"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":311.27,"endTime":315.41,"body":"keep my kitchen would look more"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":315.41,"endTime":320.03,"body":"orderly on the surface, as I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":315.41,"endTime":320.03,"body":"kind of clean as I go. So, you"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":320.03,"endTime":323.24,"body":"know what, I'm just a confusing"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":320.03,"endTime":323.24,"body":"human when I really say that out"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":323.24,"endTime":323.75,"body":"loud."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":324.95,"endTime":326.9,"body":"No, I was I was"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":324.95,"endTime":326.9,"body":"thinking that too. I was going"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":326.9,"endTime":331.64,"body":"to say thatI think our biggest"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":326.9,"endTime":331.64,"body":"difference is that you are more"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":331.67,"endTime":335.81,"body":"orderly. And I'm more chaotic."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":336.26,"endTime":339.41,"body":"But yet you bake with"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":336.26,"endTime":339.41,"body":"very precise measurements. So I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":339.41,"endTime":341.36,"body":"don't understand that part of"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":339.41,"endTime":341.36,"body":"it. So maybe that goes back ways"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":341.39,"endTime":342.08,"body":"where we're similar."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":342.35,"endTime":343.34,"body":"But yet I bake."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":345.98,"endTime":347.99,"body":"Just saying like,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":345.98,"endTime":347.99,"body":"there's something in that right."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":347.99,"endTime":350.15,"body":"So maybe that's like a crossover"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":347.99,"endTime":350.15,"body":"a bridge?"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":353.81,"endTime":355.85,"body":"All right, what are we"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":353.81,"endTime":355.85,"body":"here for today?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":356.45,"endTime":359.06,"body":"I think today, I really"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":356.45,"endTime":359.06,"body":"want to spend some time talking"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":359.06,"endTime":364.43,"body":"about memories. I think that"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":359.06,"endTime":364.43,"body":"that's for me connected to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":364.43,"endTime":368.18,"body":"place, because I believe that"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":364.43,"endTime":368.18,"body":"memories and places have a lot"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":368.18,"endTime":371.72,"body":"of power. And so building on"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":368.18,"endTime":371.72,"body":"what we talked about, in our"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":371.72,"endTime":374.66,"body":"last episode, where we're"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":371.72,"endTime":374.66,"body":"talking about reframing, I was"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":374.66,"endTime":378.35,"body":"thinking, okay, so could we"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":374.66,"endTime":378.35,"body":"maybe having had some various"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":378.35,"endTime":381.5,"body":"hurts in our lives and some"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":378.35,"endTime":381.5,"body":"experiences that maybe need to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":381.5,"endTime":384.95,"body":"be reframed? Again, could we"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":381.5,"endTime":384.95,"body":"reclaim some of those bad"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":384.95,"endTime":390.41,"body":"memories by thinking differently"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":384.95,"endTime":390.41,"body":"about those places? Right."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":390.44,"endTime":395.66,"body":"So is that kind of our"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":390.44,"endTime":395.66,"body":"own version of like, PTSD"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":395.66,"endTime":401.81,"body":"therapy, for which we have no"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":395.66,"endTime":401.81,"body":"training? That we're doing here?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":402.59,"endTime":404.69,"body":"Yes, but we're not"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":402.59,"endTime":404.69,"body":"calling it therapy. We are"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":404.69,"endTime":405.32,"body":"reframing."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":407.06,"endTime":408.05,"body":"So it's language."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":408.35,"endTime":413.57,"body":"Yeah, we're gonna stick"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":408.35,"endTime":413.57,"body":"with language. And it's what we"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":413.57,"endTime":418.04,"body":"do as sisters."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":420.77,"endTime":422.18,"body":"Okay, so where should"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":420.77,"endTime":422.18,"body":"we go?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":423.44,"endTime":425.78,"body":"Okay, well, I'm going"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":423.44,"endTime":425.78,"body":"to suggest that maybe we start"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":426.05,"endTime":428.9,"body":"in our childhood backyard, on"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":426.05,"endTime":428.9,"body":"Vanderbrent."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":429.98,"endTime":433.25,"body":"Because that is a place"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":429.98,"endTime":433.25,"body":"that needs reframing for you?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":434.24,"endTime":436.4,"body":"Yes, because you locked"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":434.24,"endTime":436.4,"body":"me in a shed."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":439.63,"endTime":442.24,"body":"I'm not even sure I"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":439.63,"endTime":442.24,"body":"remember this. I only remember"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":442.24,"endTime":446.74,"body":"because you remember, which is"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":442.24,"endTime":446.74,"body":"another thing about memory. Do"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":446.74,"endTime":449.65,"body":"you actually remember or do you"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":446.74,"endTime":449.65,"body":"only remember because someone"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":449.65,"endTime":453.7,"body":"else keeps telling you the"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":449.65,"endTime":453.7,"body":"story? Why did I lock you in"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":453.7,"endTime":454.21,"body":"that shed?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":455.95,"endTime":460.96,"body":"Perhaps because I asked"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":455.95,"endTime":460.96,"body":"you to. And actually, I think"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":460.96,"endTime":464.29,"body":"this ends up coming up in a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":460.96,"endTime":464.29,"body":"conversation that we have with a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":464.59,"endTime":470.74,"body":"friend of ours on a future"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":464.59,"endTime":470.74,"body":"podcast - comedian Steve"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":470.74,"endTime":472.57,"body":"Patterson. And he actually"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":470.74,"endTime":472.57,"body":"didn't quite know what to do"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":472.57,"endTime":475.54,"body":"with that when we talked about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":472.57,"endTime":475.54,"body":"it either. But okay, so yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":475.54,"endTime":478.72,"body":"perhaps I asked you to do it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":475.54,"endTime":478.72,"body":"And maybe you were seven. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":478.72,"endTime":482.62,"body":"the point is that you did it and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":478.72,"endTime":482.62,"body":"then you walked away. So there's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":482.62,"endTime":487.96,"body":"something for me to sit with, as"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":482.62,"endTime":487.96,"body":"I consider our backyard on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":488.02,"endTime":488.44,"body":"Vanderbrent."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":489.3,"endTime":492.84,"body":"So it was like a really"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":489.3,"endTime":492.84,"body":"claustrophobic, scary moment for"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":492.84,"endTime":493.17,"body":"you."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":494.53,"endTime":496.24,"body":"Yeah, you know, what"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":494.53,"endTime":496.24,"body":"there was, there was some"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":496.24,"endTime":502.03,"body":"serious panic, and actually, it"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":496.24,"endTime":502.03,"body":"probably has brought me forward"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":502.03,"endTime":505.72,"body":"slash back into a scuba diving"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":502.03,"endTime":505.72,"body":"accident that I had, where,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":506.02,"endTime":508.42,"body":"like, claustrophobia was a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":506.02,"endTime":508.42,"body":"really big deal. Like I have"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":508.42,"endTime":515.29,"body":"actually had panic attacks,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":508.42,"endTime":515.29,"body":"because of smaller spaces. So,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":515.35,"endTime":516.7,"body":"I've got to deal with this one."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":517.33,"endTime":520.42,"body":"So maybe that's why"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":517.33,"endTime":520.42,"body":"it's so strong for you. And oh"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":520.42,"endTime":526.9,"body":"my gosh, that that's a lot that"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":520.42,"endTime":526.9,"body":"you people are gonna be like,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":527.14,"endTime":529.93,"body":"oh, can that girl handle any"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":527.14,"endTime":529.93,"body":"more?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":531.19,"endTime":533.11,"body":"That was a lot."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":531.19,"endTime":533.11,"body":"Actually. That was a bummer."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":533.53,"endTime":537.31,"body":"Because my dad and I were on a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":533.53,"endTime":537.31,"body":"boat. Right, we were up in"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":537.31,"endTime":541.54,"body":"Tobermory, which is Northern"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":537.31,"endTime":541.54,"body":"Ontario, really beautiful cold"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":541.54,"endTime":544.69,"body":"water diving, which is amazing"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":541.54,"endTime":544.69,"body":"and gorgeous and wonderful. But"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":544.99,"endTime":547.96,"body":"you need more equipment. And we"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":544.99,"endTime":547.96,"body":"were on this boat and going down"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":547.96,"endTime":554.83,"body":"to this super deep wreck dive."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":547.96,"endTime":554.83,"body":"And so because it's so cold and"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":554.83,"endTime":558.49,"body":"so deep out there, the boat has"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":554.83,"endTime":558.49,"body":"to be able to hang out in a very"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":558.49,"endTime":561.64,"body":"specific spot while the divers"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":558.49,"endTime":561.64,"body":"go down on a line and the boat"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":561.64,"endTime":565.24,"body":"was having trouble. So basically"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":561.64,"endTime":565.24,"body":"it like circled for 15-20"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":565.24,"endTime":567.4,"body":"minutes trying to get itself"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":565.24,"endTime":567.4,"body":"organized, which meant that the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":567.4,"endTime":571.3,"body":"gas fumes were crazy. So"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":567.4,"endTime":571.3,"body":"everybody in the boat is like"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":571.3,"endTime":575.35,"body":"throwing up like off the side."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":571.3,"endTime":575.35,"body":"It was horrible. And it was such"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":575.38,"endTime":578.62,"body":"a such a horrible thing that"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":575.38,"endTime":578.62,"body":"when they finally were able to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":578.62,"endTime":581.44,"body":"make it happen, we all just"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":578.62,"endTime":581.44,"body":"threw on our gear to be able to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":581.44,"endTime":584.68,"body":"get down into the water because"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":581.44,"endTime":584.68,"body":"we knew if we got in the water"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":584.68,"endTime":588.1,"body":"that things would feel better."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":584.68,"endTime":588.1,"body":"But the problem was that in the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":588.1,"endTime":591.7,"body":"midst of all the throwing up,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":588.1,"endTime":591.7,"body":"probably somebody stepped on my"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":591.7,"endTime":598.39,"body":"gear. And so my hose got"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":591.7,"endTime":598.39,"body":"cracked. There was definitely no"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":598.39,"endTime":603.43,"body":"crack when I I picked it up. So"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":598.39,"endTime":603.43,"body":"as I'm going down, descending, I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":603.43,"endTime":607.39,"body":"think I hit like 70 feet and"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":603.43,"endTime":607.39,"body":"water, and because it's cold"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":607.39,"endTime":611.89,"body":"water and everything sort of"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":607.39,"endTime":611.89,"body":"expands or shrinks. . . how does"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":611.89,"endTime":614.11,"body":"it work? Anyways, the point is"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":611.89,"endTime":614.11,"body":"the hole got bigger. So the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":614.11,"endTime":616.99,"body":"water kept coming in faster and"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":614.11,"endTime":616.99,"body":"faster. So it was very scary."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":616.99,"endTime":619.63,"body":"And then I panicked and that was"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":616.99,"endTime":619.63,"body":"not the right thing to do. But I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":619.63,"endTime":623.14,"body":"just wanted to get to my dad,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":619.63,"endTime":623.14,"body":"because that's the thing you"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":623.14,"endTime":625.75,"body":"want to do when you're scared"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":623.14,"endTime":625.75,"body":"even though I was like 30 or"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":625.75,"endTime":630.43,"body":"something. So I'm going deeper,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":625.75,"endTime":630.43,"body":"but with more water. And then I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":630.43,"endTime":633.13,"body":"did something really dumb. I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":630.43,"endTime":633.13,"body":"pulled out my regulator because"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":633.13,"endTime":635.86,"body":"I guess in my crazy state, I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":633.13,"endTime":635.86,"body":"thought that would somehow that"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":635.86,"endTime":636.46,"body":"would make it better."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":637.2,"endTime":639.81,"body":"Because you were trying"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":637.2,"endTime":639.81,"body":"to keep descending to where he"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":639.81,"endTime":640.26,"body":"was?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":640.0,"endTime":642.55,"body":"Yeah, he was ahead of"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":640.0,"endTime":642.55,"body":"me and he didn't see this,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":642.55,"endTime":647.47,"body":"obviously. So anyways, I caught"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":642.55,"endTime":647.47,"body":"him but by now I'm like full on"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":647.47,"endTime":647.83,"body":"drowning."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":647.89,"endTime":650.68,"body":"So you took out your"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":647.89,"endTime":650.68,"body":"bag and kept going down?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":651.46,"endTime":655.54,"body":"Yeah, like it wasn't"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":651.46,"endTime":655.54,"body":"right. My mind. And I forgot"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":655.54,"endTime":660.94,"body":"that. Yeah. Yeah. So like I'm"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":655.54,"endTime":660.94,"body":"anyway, so dad saw my crazy"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":660.94,"endTime":664.03,"body":"eyes. And he saw that I had no"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":660.94,"endTime":664.03,"body":"reg in my mouth. And he tried to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":664.03,"endTime":667.21,"body":"shove his extra reg in my mouth."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":664.03,"endTime":667.21,"body":"And I didn't take it because I'm"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":667.21,"endTime":670.51,"body":"crazy by this point. Like I'm,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":667.21,"endTime":670.51,"body":"you know, not in my right mind."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":670.96,"endTime":674.74,"body":"So then he had to basically drop"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":670.96,"endTime":674.74,"body":"my weights and hit the surface,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":674.74,"endTime":678.25,"body":"dragging me behind. So I'm still"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":674.74,"endTime":678.25,"body":"alive. So we're good. But it"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":678.25,"endTime":682.63,"body":"definitely was the most"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":678.25,"endTime":682.63,"body":"terrifying experience for him, I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":682.63,"endTime":686.47,"body":"would say as a parent, but also"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":682.63,"endTime":686.47,"body":"it did definitely make me"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":687.46,"endTime":692.68,"body":"reticent to go into small spaces"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":687.46,"endTime":692.68,"body":"for a while because--"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":694.21,"endTime":696.4,"body":"it brings back all the"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":694.21,"endTime":696.4,"body":"small spaces you've ever been"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":696.4,"endTime":704.68,"body":"in. So that's the shed on"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":696.4,"endTime":704.68,"body":"Vanderbrent right there. That"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":704.68,"endTime":707.56,"body":"actually makes sense that that's"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":704.68,"endTime":707.56,"body":"a thing for you. Although, I"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":709.3,"endTime":711.85,"body":"have a lot of positive memories"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":709.3,"endTime":711.85,"body":"when I think about that"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":711.85,"endTime":717.76,"body":"backyard, like the tire swing"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":711.85,"endTime":717.76,"body":"and the stepping stones. The"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":717.76,"endTime":719.92,"body":"orange flowers Do you remember"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":717.76,"endTime":719.92,"body":"any of that?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":721.0,"endTime":724.06,"body":"Like, okay, I remember"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":721.0,"endTime":724.06,"body":"the tire swing."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":724.69,"endTime":729.1,"body":"Do you remember the"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":724.69,"endTime":729.1,"body":"orange flowers? The Tiger Lily"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":729.1,"endTime":732.55,"body":"flowers or something? Or this is"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":729.1,"endTime":732.55,"body":"like that poem we brought up."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":735.22,"endTime":739.54,"body":"Let's not even get into names."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":735.22,"endTime":739.54,"body":"But no. Okay, so I you don't do"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":739.54,"endTime":747.79,"body":"you remember, like doing"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":739.54,"endTime":747.79,"body":"birthdays back there? No. Okay,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":747.79,"endTime":751.48,"body":"it's so weird how we can we"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":747.79,"endTime":751.48,"body":"could have been in the same"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":751.48,"endTime":755.98,"body":"place. But remember things so"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":751.48,"endTime":755.98,"body":"differently, which makes me"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":755.98,"endTime":766.93,"body":"think is that the painful things"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":755.98,"endTime":766.93,"body":"that we remember?  Do you think"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":766.93,"endTime":770.68,"body":"it's the painful things we"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":766.93,"endTime":770.68,"body":"remember most clearly? Should we"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":770.68,"endTime":771.43,"body":"do a test?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":772.36,"endTime":773.74,"body":"Yes, that's true test."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":774.97,"endTime":779.2,"body":"Alright, do you"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":774.97,"endTime":779.2,"body":"remember that motel in Florida?"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":780.01,"endTime":783.19,"body":"When I was like, I think I was"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":780.01,"endTime":783.19,"body":"about 10, let's say and there"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":783.19,"endTime":787.3,"body":"was a lot of tension in that"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":783.19,"endTime":787.3,"body":"motel. Do you remember? Florida"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":787.33,"endTime":788.71,"body":"tension? kitchen?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":789.13,"endTime":791.44,"body":"Nope. blocked that one"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":789.13,"endTime":791.44,"body":"out completely?"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":792.92,"endTime":797.63,"body":"That is so weird, cause"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":792.92,"endTime":797.63,"body":"that's like a strong sensation I"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":797.63,"endTime":804.59,"body":"have about that place. Okay,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":797.63,"endTime":804.59,"body":"what about this one? Do you"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":804.59,"endTime":809.99,"body":"remember what I'd like to call"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":804.59,"endTime":809.99,"body":"the earrings incident of 1991?"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":815.51,"endTime":819.44,"body":"It's mom's birthday. And I think"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":815.51,"endTime":819.44,"body":"birthdays are always kind of"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":819.44,"endTime":823.28,"body":"stressful for her because Dad"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":819.44,"endTime":823.28,"body":"grew up in a family where they"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":823.28,"endTime":825.83,"body":"didn't really celebrate"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":823.28,"endTime":825.83,"body":"birthdays, like birthdays were"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":825.83,"endTime":830.09,"body":"not a big deal. I also have"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":825.83,"endTime":830.09,"body":"experienced that because for"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":830.09,"endTime":833.21,"body":"Simon he his family didn't make"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":830.09,"endTime":833.21,"body":"a lot our of birthdays until"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":833.27,"endTime":836.0,"body":"recently. They don't make"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":833.27,"endTime":836.0,"body":"presents a big thing. He only"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":836.0,"endTime":841.4,"body":"learned to make presents a thing"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":836.0,"endTime":841.4,"body":"because of me, because of so"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":841.4,"endTime":844.52,"body":"many failed birthdays where I"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":841.4,"endTime":844.52,"body":"was upset."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":844.52,"endTime":849.62,"body":"So he's upped his game"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":844.52,"endTime":849.62,"body":"for you."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":850.7,"endTime":854.45,"body":"But that time, I don't"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":850.7,"endTime":854.45,"body":"think Dad had a present or"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":854.45,"endTime":857.36,"body":"something. So I went to the mall"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":854.45,"endTime":857.36,"body":"with him and we went to this"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":857.36,"endTime":862.1,"body":"little store in the Woodbine"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":857.36,"endTime":862.1,"body":"Mall called Le Rouet. And it had"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":862.49,"endTime":865.16,"body":"like little art objects or"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":862.49,"endTime":865.16,"body":"something--as many art objects"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":865.16,"endTime":869.99,"body":"as could be found in Woodbine"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":865.16,"endTime":869.99,"body":"Mall and we bought earrings. And"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":869.99,"endTime":873.05,"body":"then we bought a second pair."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":869.99,"endTime":873.05,"body":"Like this is what is so weird is"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":873.05,"endTime":875.57,"body":"we bought two of the same"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":873.05,"endTime":875.57,"body":"earrings just differently"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":875.57,"endTime":881.99,"body":"shaped. So I just remember that"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":875.57,"endTime":881.99,"body":"it that the feeling for Mom--I"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":883.13,"endTime":885.44,"body":"have no idea what was true,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":883.13,"endTime":885.44,"body":"actually--but the memory I have"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":885.44,"endTime":890.69,"body":"is that we really drastically"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":885.44,"endTime":890.69,"body":"overcompensating by buying two"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":890.72,"endTime":896.57,"body":"of the same thing, just a little"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":890.72,"endTime":896.57,"body":"bit different as if \"will you"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":896.57,"endTime":898.13,"body":"love me now that I'm getting you"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":896.57,"endTime":898.13,"body":"two?\""},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":899.39,"endTime":900.08,"body":"Oh boy."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":900.26,"endTime":905.18,"body":"I know. I hope Mom"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":900.26,"endTime":905.18,"body":"doesn't listen to this one or"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":905.18,"endTime":909.11,"body":"Dad because, well I don't know."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":905.18,"endTime":909.11,"body":"That's just what I remember."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":909.11,"endTime":911.66,"body":"Like, I don't know what actually"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":909.11,"endTime":911.66,"body":"was going on. But I have this"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":911.66,"endTime":915.62,"body":"heavy memory of all that. Do you"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":911.66,"endTime":915.62,"body":"remember that?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":917.37,"endTime":919.89,"body":"I wasn't there for the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":917.37,"endTime":919.89,"body":"shopping. But you have"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":919.89,"endTime":922.65,"body":"definitely told me the story"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":919.89,"endTime":922.65,"body":"before. So this might be similar"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":922.65,"endTime":925.41,"body":"to that thing of like, I now can"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":922.65,"endTime":925.41,"body":"remember the thing that you've"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":925.41,"endTime":930.3,"body":"told me as a memory. But what I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":925.41,"endTime":930.3,"body":"do remember of my own is, I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":930.3,"endTime":934.56,"body":"remember there being some"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":930.3,"endTime":934.56,"body":"stressful birthday dinner, which"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":934.62,"endTime":938.58,"body":"now in my mind might be attached"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":934.62,"endTime":938.58,"body":"to the earrings, but where there"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":938.58,"endTime":944.07,"body":"was some walking away from the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":938.58,"endTime":944.07,"body":"table. That's what I remember."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":944.07,"endTime":949.5,"body":"So I could make a link and"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":944.07,"endTime":949.5,"body":"connect that. Just the earrings."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":949.56,"endTime":950.22,"body":"Oh, man."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":951.33,"endTime":954.18,"body":"But this is the thing,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":951.33,"endTime":954.18,"body":"right? Like, I mean, so the mall"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":954.18,"endTime":956.91,"body":"for you that the table for me. I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":954.18,"endTime":956.91,"body":"mean, like I'm into these"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":956.91,"endTime":960.48,"body":"located memories, because that"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":956.91,"endTime":960.48,"body":"was my whole doctoral work. My"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":960.48,"endTime":964.38,"body":"project was memory and education"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":960.48,"endTime":964.38,"body":"and traumatic spaces. Like I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":964.38,"endTime":968.04,"body":"worked in a, you know, this, I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":964.38,"endTime":968.04,"body":"worked in a youth prison. And so"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":968.04,"endTime":972.78,"body":"there was some stuff to unpack"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":968.04,"endTime":972.78,"body":"there in terms of what education"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":972.78,"endTime":975.81,"body":"looked like in a space like"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":972.78,"endTime":975.81,"body":"that. So. So that's one of the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":975.81,"endTime":978.84,"body":"reasons why I find all this"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":975.81,"endTime":978.84,"body":"stuff. So interesting. And so I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":978.84,"endTime":982.02,"body":"want to go back to Florida back."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":978.84,"endTime":982.02,"body":"I just, I want us to return to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":982.02,"endTime":984.0,"body":"that one for a second before we"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":982.02,"endTime":984.0,"body":"continue on."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":984.36,"endTime":987.36,"body":"Okay, Florida, Florida,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":984.36,"endTime":987.36,"body":"when I was 10?"},{"speaker":"Natalie Davey","startTime":987.54,"endTime":990.3,"body":"No, I want to go"},{"speaker":"Natalie Davey","startTime":987.54,"endTime":990.3,"body":"back to Florida when we were 16"},{"speaker":"Natalie Davey","startTime":990.3,"endTime":994.47,"body":"and 18. So I want to go back to"},{"speaker":"Natalie Davey","startTime":990.3,"endTime":994.47,"body":"the space. That was Florida and"},{"speaker":"Natalie Davey","startTime":994.47,"endTime":1001.01,"body":"I wonder if maybe, maybe we"},{"speaker":"Natalie Davey","startTime":994.47,"endTime":1001.01,"body":"could like reframe it. Okay, so"},{"speaker":"Natalie Davey","startTime":1001.01,"endTime":1001.55,"body":"that's my thought."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1004.52,"endTime":1006.47,"body":"Okay, I'm excited for a"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1004.52,"endTime":1006.47,"body":"transformation."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1006.56,"endTime":1009.86,"body":"Okay, let's try this."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1006.56,"endTime":1009.86,"body":"Do you remember doing a 24 hour"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1009.86,"endTime":1014.03,"body":"road trip home from Florida?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1009.86,"endTime":1014.03,"body":"When you were 16. And I was 18."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1014.03,"endTime":1017.51,"body":"And we were driving with our"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1014.03,"endTime":1017.51,"body":"boyfriends at the time. And then"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1017.51,"endTime":1021.35,"body":"that cop? Because you were"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1017.51,"endTime":1021.35,"body":"driving, pulled us over and gave"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1021.35,"endTime":1024.08,"body":"us a ticket in the middle of the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1021.35,"endTime":1024.08,"body":"night in Georgia."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1025.5,"endTime":1027.81,"body":"I do remember that. And"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1025.5,"endTime":1027.81,"body":"I really appreciate that you're"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1027.81,"endTime":1032.28,"body":"saying give \"us\" a ticket which"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1027.81,"endTime":1032.28,"body":"I think so much represents our"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1032.28,"endTime":1038.28,"body":"togetherness. Because I'm pretty"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1032.28,"endTime":1038.28,"body":"sure he give \"me\" a ticket. And"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1038.28,"endTime":1044.91,"body":"I think I was bare feet. Or"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1038.28,"endTime":1044.91,"body":"barefoot. Or barefooted. I"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1044.91,"endTime":1048.33,"body":"remember that was stressful"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1044.91,"endTime":1048.33,"body":"because I wasn't sure if it was"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1048.33,"endTime":1058.74,"body":"legal to be driving bare feet."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1048.33,"endTime":1058.74,"body":"But when I think k back on that"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1058.74,"endTime":1065.82,"body":"incident, I think it I felt a"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1058.74,"endTime":1065.82,"body":"bit excited. How did it feel for"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1065.82,"endTime":1065.88,"body":"you?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1065.93,"endTime":1069.29,"body":"Yeah, that was not"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1065.93,"endTime":1069.29,"body":"exciting to me at all, because I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1069.29,"endTime":1072.71,"body":"had to leave you. And Simon in a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1069.29,"endTime":1072.71,"body":"jail cell?"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1073.4,"endTime":1075.05,"body":"No. Were we in a jail"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1073.4,"endTime":1075.05,"body":"cell?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1075.05,"endTime":1076.58,"body":"No, they locked you up"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1075.05,"endTime":1076.58,"body":"in something."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1078.13,"endTime":1084.01,"body":"Oh, really?  I thought"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1078.13,"endTime":1084.01,"body":"we were in an office."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1084.64,"endTime":1086.65,"body":"Well, it looked like a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1084.64,"endTime":1086.65,"body":"jail cell to me. And it was the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1086.65,"endTime":1091.03,"body":"middle of the night in Georgia."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1086.65,"endTime":1091.03,"body":"They made me leave and go drive"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1091.03,"endTime":1094.06,"body":"in the backwoods of like"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1091.03,"endTime":1094.06,"body":"darkness in the middle of"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1094.06,"endTime":1097.51,"body":"wherever to go and get cash to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1094.06,"endTime":1097.51,"body":"be able to pay your way out."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1098.2,"endTime":1101.65,"body":"They actually like literally"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1098.2,"endTime":1101.65,"body":"made me leave the police station"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1102.04,"endTime":1104.71,"body":"and go where I had nowhere idea"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1102.04,"endTime":1104.71,"body":"to go and we didn't have GPS at"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1104.71,"endTime":1106.93,"body":"the time. Like there was noone,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1104.71,"endTime":1106.93,"body":"so it's like going down some"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1106.96,"endTime":1109.81,"body":"road and looking for an ATM."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1106.96,"endTime":1109.81,"body":"Like it all sounds really"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1109.81,"endTime":1114.01,"body":"sketchy, right? So that was a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1109.81,"endTime":1114.01,"body":"seriously seriously stressful"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1114.58,"endTime":1118.36,"body":"ride home until we're right back"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1114.58,"endTime":1118.36,"body":"to you to get you out of this"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1118.36,"endTime":1121.06,"body":"jail. But maybe it was just a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1118.36,"endTime":1121.06,"body":"desk."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1121.9,"endTime":1126.55,"body":"Right. And we probably"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1121.9,"endTime":1126.55,"body":"didn't have cell phones because"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1126.55,"endTime":1127.3,"body":"we're that old."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1127.39,"endTime":1130.81,"body":"Because we're old."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1127.39,"endTime":1130.81,"body":"Yeah, I think I got my first"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1130.81,"endTime":1133.57,"body":"cell phone when I was 27. And"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1130.81,"endTime":1133.57,"body":"this is like 10 years before"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1133.57,"endTime":1135.31,"body":"that. Right? So yeah."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1135.37,"endTime":1137.35,"body":"I feel stressed"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1135.37,"endTime":1137.35,"body":"thinking about what you went"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1137.35,"endTime":1140.56,"body":"through there. I think the"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1137.35,"endTime":1140.56,"body":"person who had to do the action,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1140.77,"endTime":1143.26,"body":"like you had to go do something"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1140.77,"endTime":1143.26,"body":"I was just sitting there waiting"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1143.26,"endTime":1150.88,"body":"to be rescued. That just feels"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1143.26,"endTime":1150.88,"body":"like so emblematic of us. You"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1151.03,"endTime":1155.32,"body":"rescueing me from things."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1151.03,"endTime":1155.32,"body":"Remember overnight camp and I"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1155.32,"endTime":1164.5,"body":"would try to weasel my way into"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1155.32,"endTime":1164.5,"body":"your cabin. You would always"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1164.53,"endTime":1169.12,"body":"rescueme. Okay, so what do we do"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1164.53,"endTime":1169.12,"body":"with this? This seems to be your"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1169.36,"endTime":1172.3,"body":"traumatic memory a little bit."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1169.36,"endTime":1172.3,"body":"So we need to reframe for you."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1173.65,"endTime":1176.2,"body":"Okay, so this is how"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1173.65,"endTime":1176.2,"body":"I'm going to try and reframe."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1177.4,"endTime":1179.53,"body":"You should take some"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1177.4,"endTime":1179.53,"body":"breaths or something that first."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1180.1,"endTime":1183.88,"body":"Okay, so deep breaths."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1180.1,"endTime":1183.88,"body":"Here's the way that I'm going to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1183.88,"endTime":1188.41,"body":"reframe Florida. I think that I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1183.88,"endTime":1188.41,"body":"can look at it now as a place"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1189.22,"endTime":1193.99,"body":"where I definitely learned that"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1189.22,"endTime":1193.99,"body":"I can do everything in my power"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1193.99,"endTime":1198.91,"body":"to protect my sister. So that"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1193.99,"endTime":1198.91,"body":"was some deep learning there."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1199.42,"endTime":1203.32,"body":"And because I've stored it as a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1199.42,"endTime":1203.32,"body":"jail cell, right? And you're"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1203.32,"endTime":1204.4,"body":"saying it was a desk?"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1205.51,"endTime":1210.31,"body":"Well, I don't know what"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1205.51,"endTime":1210.31,"body":"maybe I was behind bars. I don't"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1210.31,"endTime":1213.91,"body":"think so. But you know what,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1210.31,"endTime":1213.91,"body":"maybe, you know, I was also"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1213.91,"endTime":1217.33,"body":"early on dating Simon, so it was"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1213.91,"endTime":1217.33,"body":"probably exciting to be behind"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1217.33,"endTime":1218.02,"body":"bars with him."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1218.0,"endTime":1223.1,"body":"Ha! I wonder what Simon"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1218.0,"endTime":1223.1,"body":"would say to that. But I, but I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1223.1,"endTime":1226.34,"body":"do wonder now--and I've never"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1223.1,"endTime":1226.34,"body":"thought this before, so this is"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1226.34,"endTime":1230.09,"body":"brand new for me--but I do"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1226.34,"endTime":1230.09,"body":"wonder if maybe that was like,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1230.39,"endTime":1234.47,"body":"when the seed was planted for me"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1230.39,"endTime":1234.47,"body":"of becoming like an anti-prison"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1234.5,"endTime":1237.44,"body":"and sort of defund the police"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1234.5,"endTime":1237.44,"body":"minded person, before I even"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1237.44,"endTime":1241.61,"body":"knew what any of those terms"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1237.44,"endTime":1241.61,"body":"meant, because I really do have"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1241.64,"endTime":1246.89,"body":"a definitive memory of feeling"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1241.64,"endTime":1246.89,"body":"like this was absolutely unjust"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1247.79,"endTime":1251.63,"body":"like, you were 16. And it was"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1247.79,"endTime":1251.63,"body":"the middle of the night, like to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1251.63,"endTime":1259.55,"body":"pull you over and make you drive"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1251.63,"endTime":1259.55,"body":"to this unknown place. Like, I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1259.55,"endTime":1262.85,"body":"mean literally we had to drive"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1259.55,"endTime":1262.85,"body":"on backroads and follow this cop"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1262.85,"endTime":1266.6,"body":"there. Just felt such like such"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1262.85,"endTime":1266.6,"body":"a power play. And that was so"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1266.81,"endTime":1270.95,"body":"not okay for me. So I think that"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1266.81,"endTime":1270.95,"body":"maybe if it were such a place of"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1270.95,"endTime":1274.31,"body":"deep learning for me, then maybe"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1270.95,"endTime":1274.31,"body":"Florida can be a place I can be"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1274.31,"endTime":1278.21,"body":"grateful for. Because if that"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1274.31,"endTime":1278.21,"body":"set me on some sort of a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1278.21,"endTime":1282.53,"body":"journey, that didn't really come"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1278.21,"endTime":1282.53,"body":"to be until I was like, I didn't"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1282.53,"endTime":1285.65,"body":"go back and do my doctoral work"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1282.53,"endTime":1285.65,"body":"until I was in my 30s. Right. So"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1285.65,"endTime":1288.53,"body":"I mean, that was many years"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1285.65,"endTime":1288.53,"body":"later. But for a seed to have"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1288.53,"endTime":1292.19,"body":"been planted so early. Maybe"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1288.53,"endTime":1292.19,"body":"there's something in that. So I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1292.19,"endTime":1296.0,"body":"could reframe this, I could"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1292.19,"endTime":1296.0,"body":"reframe Florida for me as a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1296.0,"endTime":1298.85,"body":"place of learning. I can go with"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1296.0,"endTime":1298.85,"body":"that."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1300.92,"endTime":1305.69,"body":"Okay, so when you say"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1300.92,"endTime":1305.69,"body":"you can go with that, are you're"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1305.69,"endTime":1309.56,"body":"essentially putting different"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1305.69,"endTime":1309.56,"body":"words to something? And then how"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1309.56,"endTime":1311.27,"body":"do you make sure those words"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1309.56,"endTime":1311.27,"body":"sink in?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1312.89,"endTime":1321.05,"body":"Hmm. So it's a bit of a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1312.89,"endTime":1321.05,"body":"process here. But I would say"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1321.05,"endTime":1327.29,"body":"that reframing that place for me"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1321.05,"endTime":1327.29,"body":"is using new words to expand"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1327.29,"endTime":1331.58,"body":"meaning about place or like,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1327.29,"endTime":1331.58,"body":"growing new feelings for it, as"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1331.58,"endTime":1337.43,"body":"opposed to sitting in old"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1331.58,"endTime":1337.43,"body":"memories that, as you already"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1337.43,"endTime":1340.67,"body":"said, as you pointed out,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1337.43,"endTime":1340.67,"body":"rightly, that may not be even"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1340.7,"endTime":1348.26,"body":"true, right? I mean, like memory"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1340.7,"endTime":1348.26,"body":"is so like, intangible. It's"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1348.26,"endTime":1352.13,"body":"like water, right? You can't"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1348.26,"endTime":1352.13,"body":"really hold it. And yet, it has"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1352.13,"endTime":1358.52,"body":"so much power. So how do you"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1352.13,"endTime":1358.52,"body":"find a way to, to turn it into"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1358.76,"endTime":1359.96,"body":"water you want to swim it?"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1362.0,"endTime":1366.32,"body":"I like that idea of"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1362.0,"endTime":1366.32,"body":"growing new feelings, like new"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1366.68,"endTime":1368.0,"body":"positive feelings."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1370.79,"endTime":1374.78,"body":"Okay, so what might be"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1370.79,"endTime":1374.78,"body":"a place that you could return to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1374.78,"endTime":1376.13,"body":"and reframe in some way?"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1379.97,"endTime":1384.74,"body":"Well, the, I mean, one"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1379.97,"endTime":1384.74,"body":"of the places that I think"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1386.21,"endTime":1391.55,"body":"continues to have kind of a"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1386.21,"endTime":1391.55,"body":"stronghold on me is Sick Kids"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1391.97,"endTime":1397.58,"body":"Hospital. Like, it's a powerful"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1391.97,"endTime":1397.58,"body":"place for me. Because that's"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1397.58,"endTime":1401.24,"body":"where Violet had her heart"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1397.58,"endTime":1401.24,"body":"surgery. And, you know, so many"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1401.3,"endTime":1407.15,"body":"appointments. I've been there so"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1401.3,"endTime":1407.15,"body":"many times. And I have a very"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1407.15,"endTime":1411.47,"body":"strong attachment to that place."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1407.15,"endTime":1411.47,"body":"And I'm thinking of attachment"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1411.47,"endTime":1417.05,"body":"in not a positive way. How does"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1411.47,"endTime":1417.05,"body":"Dad describe attachments?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1418.64,"endTime":1423.05,"body":"Things that negatively"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1418.64,"endTime":1423.05,"body":"hold us."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1423.0,"endTime":1427.77,"body":"And funnily Starbucks"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1423.0,"endTime":1427.77,"body":"in the lobby is a heavy place of"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1427.77,"endTime":1430.98,"body":"attachment. Because, you know,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1427.77,"endTime":1430.98,"body":"we would go to the Starbucks a"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1430.98,"endTime":1431.46,"body":"lot."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1432.12,"endTime":1434.97,"body":"Obviously to stay"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1432.12,"endTime":1434.97,"body":"caffeinated."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1436.65,"endTime":1440.94,"body":"And you would see all"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1436.65,"endTime":1440.94,"body":"the doctors in line, like you"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1440.94,"endTime":1443.28,"body":"could, you know, obviously tell"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1440.94,"endTime":1443.28,"body":"when they're doctors or"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1443.28,"endTime":1446.22,"body":"researchers. The researchers are"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1443.28,"endTime":1446.22,"body":"funny, because they're always,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1446.67,"endTime":1449.13,"body":"this is actually pertinent to"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1446.67,"endTime":1449.13,"body":"what I was saying about Simon"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1449.13,"endTime":1455.04,"body":"being a scientist. He's in need"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1449.13,"endTime":1455.04,"body":"of research. The researchers"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1455.04,"endTime":1459.15,"body":"needed something from us to do"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1455.04,"endTime":1459.15,"body":"their work. But that's also a"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1459.15,"endTime":1464.49,"body":"thing is that they're, they're"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1459.15,"endTime":1464.49,"body":"almost like, feeding off us as"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1464.73,"endTime":1468.81,"body":"parents and feeding off the"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1464.73,"endTime":1468.81,"body":"children because they need their"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1468.81,"endTime":1476.37,"body":"bodies to do their research."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1468.81,"endTime":1476.37,"body":"Yeah. So anyway, so standing in"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1476.64,"endTime":1480.33,"body":"line with those people and"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1476.64,"endTime":1480.33,"body":"thinking that they don't"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1480.33,"endTime":1487.89,"body":"understand how lucky they are to"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1480.33,"endTime":1487.89,"body":"be regular people. And I am not"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1487.89,"endTime":1493.41,"body":"regular, I am irregular with my"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1487.89,"endTime":1493.41,"body":"child that is in crisis. That's,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1493.68,"endTime":1497.13,"body":"you know, that was kind of my"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1493.68,"endTime":1497.13,"body":"victim-y feeling."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1497.39,"endTime":1504.74,"body":"Or a true feeling"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1497.39,"endTime":1504.74,"body":"that's located to that space."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1512.25,"endTime":1515.64,"body":"So I guess I need to"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1512.25,"endTime":1515.64,"body":"reframe that space for myself."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1515.64,"endTime":1520.14,"body":"And I'm wondering if a different"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1515.64,"endTime":1520.14,"body":"way to look at it would be to"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1520.14,"endTime":1526.59,"body":"just recognize the beauty of"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1520.14,"endTime":1526.59,"body":"fragility, and our delicate"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1526.59,"endTime":1531.06,"body":"place in the world. So, you"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1526.59,"endTime":1531.06,"body":"know, all of our bodies are"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1531.06,"endTime":1533.85,"body":"delicate and fragile. And"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1531.06,"endTime":1533.85,"body":"maybethose researchers standing"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1533.85,"endTime":1537.99,"body":"in line--I mean, I don't know"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1533.85,"endTime":1537.99,"body":"what their lives were, but maybe"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1538.44,"endTime":1541.71,"body":"they will recognize the"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1538.44,"endTime":1541.71,"body":"fragility at some other point on"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1541.71,"endTime":1547.8,"body":"their journey. But that happened"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1541.71,"endTime":1547.8,"body":"to be the moment I experienced"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1547.8,"endTime":1552.63,"body":"the fragility--very early on in"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1547.8,"endTime":1552.63,"body":"my life. I didn't expect that my"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1552.75,"endTime":1561.54,"body":"second child would need heart"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1552.75,"endTime":1561.54,"body":"surgery. As a new parent, you"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1561.54,"endTime":1570.6,"body":"just, you're not prepared to"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1561.54,"endTime":1570.6,"body":"predict those things. So it's"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1570.6,"endTime":1575.16,"body":"also just an ongoing one for me."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1570.6,"endTime":1575.16,"body":"I still get afraid. And I can"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1575.16,"endTime":1582.78,"body":"say that about the delicate web"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1575.16,"endTime":1582.78,"body":"of life we are all a part of,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1582.78,"endTime":1587.76,"body":"and that that's a beautiful way"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1582.78,"endTime":1587.76,"body":"to reframe in a sense, but I"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1587.76,"endTime":1591.84,"body":"also get scared often. Like even"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1587.76,"endTime":1591.84,"body":"this morning. Simon was telling"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1591.84,"endTime":1598.65,"body":"me about this idea from a"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1591.84,"endTime":1598.65,"body":"dystopian future where"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1599.28,"endTime":1606.99,"body":"antibiotics might not function"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1599.28,"endTime":1606.99,"body":"anymore. I mean antibitics have"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1606.99,"endTime":1610.08,"body":"been a very powerful tool in"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1606.99,"endTime":1610.08,"body":"your life, right?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1610.14,"endTime":1610.5,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1610.69,"endTime":1613.15,"body":"But he was saying that,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1610.69,"endTime":1613.15,"body":"I guess the way bacteria is"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1613.15,"endTime":1618.04,"body":"growing and the resistance that"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1613.15,"endTime":1618.04,"body":"is growing, that there might"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1618.04,"endTime":1621.31,"body":"come a point where you would be"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1618.04,"endTime":1621.31,"body":"better to let a tumor grow, than"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1621.31,"endTime":1624.76,"body":"cutting it out, because you"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1621.31,"endTime":1624.76,"body":"couldn't count on the"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1624.79,"endTime":1628.6,"body":"antibiotics working anymore."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1624.79,"endTime":1628.6,"body":"It's a dystopian future, which I"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1628.6,"endTime":1633.43,"body":"think could be true at some"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1628.6,"endTime":1633.43,"body":"point. But I went okay, okay,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1633.43,"endTime":1639.58,"body":"this is really big. But he's"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1633.43,"endTime":1639.58,"body":"just telling me this as an"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1639.58,"endTime":1642.19,"body":"interesting thing, as a random"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1639.58,"endTime":1642.19,"body":"science article he listened to,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1642.55,"endTime":1647.83,"body":"but immediately I start to have"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1642.55,"endTime":1647.83,"body":"like this slightly creepy crawly"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1647.83,"endTime":1651.01,"body":"feeling, although it's just"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1647.83,"endTime":1651.01,"body":"slight. But I'm starting to"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1651.01,"endTime":1654.25,"body":"think, okay, well, violet might"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1651.01,"endTime":1654.25,"body":"need to have her heart valve"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1654.25,"endTime":1657.88,"body":"replaced at some point. And it"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1654.25,"endTime":1657.88,"body":"could be mean surgery. And maybe"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1657.88,"endTime":1660.55,"body":"they won't do have to do it that"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1657.88,"endTime":1660.55,"body":"way. But what if they did? And"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1660.55,"endTime":1663.28,"body":"would she be in danger now, if"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1660.55,"endTime":1663.28,"body":"antibiotics aren't working"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1663.58,"endTime":1666.88,"body":"anymore? And so I'm like, okay,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1663.58,"endTime":1666.88,"body":"hold on, Smon. Can you just"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1668.26,"endTime":1671.83,"body":"assuage this fear? And he's"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1668.26,"endTime":1671.83,"body":"like, oh, no, no, that's way in"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1671.83,"endTime":1672.37,"body":"the future."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1676.66,"endTime":1677.26,"body":"So Starbucks!"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1677.59,"endTime":1683.59,"body":"Yeah. But I think I'm"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1677.59,"endTime":1683.59,"body":"just acknowledging I can't"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1683.59,"endTime":1689.14,"body":"listen to that completely"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1683.59,"endTime":1689.14,"body":"calmly. What's the word? Like, I"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1689.14,"endTime":1696.85,"body":"still have that residual trauma"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1689.14,"endTime":1696.85,"body":"or feelings still. So, yes, I"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1696.85,"endTime":1704.17,"body":"want to reframe but, it's"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1696.85,"endTime":1704.17,"body":"ongoing."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1709.37,"endTime":1711.41,"body":"Yeah, I mean, I crack a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1709.37,"endTime":1711.41,"body":"joke there about the Starbucks."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1711.41,"endTime":1715.37,"body":"But it's interesting that that"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1711.41,"endTime":1715.37,"body":"is the place that you hit on for"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1715.37,"endTime":1718.88,"body":"yourself. So like, maybe maybe,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1715.37,"endTime":1718.88,"body":"it's not going to be about"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1718.88,"endTime":1723.71,"body":"reframing Sick Kids as a whole,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1718.88,"endTime":1723.71,"body":"but about reframing one section"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1723.71,"endTime":1727.22,"body":"of it. So I'm not being flippant"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1723.71,"endTime":1727.22,"body":"when I say like, maybe it's"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1727.22,"endTime":1732.41,"body":"about reframing Starbucks, in"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1727.22,"endTime":1732.41,"body":"that space. Perhaps it is the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1732.41,"endTime":1741.17,"body":"space that allows for some"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1732.41,"endTime":1741.17,"body":"semblance of togetherness, for"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1741.17,"endTime":1744.83,"body":"everybody to come to sort of"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1741.17,"endTime":1744.83,"body":"join in, I mean, like, you know,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1744.83,"endTime":1748.49,"body":"coffee or whatever, sort of like"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1744.83,"endTime":1748.49,"body":"a morning ritual as like a thing"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1748.52,"endTime":1754.76,"body":"that that binds people. And"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1748.52,"endTime":1754.76,"body":"maybe that space can be"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1754.76,"endTime":1757.37,"body":"something that instead of seeing"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1754.76,"endTime":1757.37,"body":"it as--and you kind of already"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1757.49,"endTime":1760.46,"body":"alluded to it a little bit--but"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1757.49,"endTime":1760.46,"body":"like thinking of the lives that"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1760.46,"endTime":1763.01,"body":"might be playing out for those"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1760.46,"endTime":1763.01,"body":"researchers that you don't know,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1763.34,"endTime":1768.74,"body":"and whatever they're navigating"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1763.34,"endTime":1768.74,"body":"in that lineup--instead of"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1768.74,"endTime":1774.98,"body":"seeing it as like some creepy"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1768.74,"endTime":1774.98,"body":"crawly space of fear, it can be"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1775.25,"endTime":1779.09,"body":"the lineup towards togetherness."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1780.32,"endTime":1783.47,"body":"We're all in this"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1780.32,"endTime":1783.47,"body":"together and growing. Yes, yeah."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1783.86,"endTime":1788.42,"body":"And then that cheesy but awesome"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1783.86,"endTime":1788.42,"body":"line that Brene Brown said on"},{"speaker":"her last podcast","startTime":1788.42,"endTime":1791.63,"body":"\"No one gets a"},{"speaker":"her last podcast","startTime":1788.42,"endTime":1791.63,"body":"free ride.\""},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1791.96,"endTime":1796.79,"body":"Yeah, even the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1791.96,"endTime":1796.79,"body":"researchers don't get a free"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1796.79,"endTime":1802.28,"body":"ride. Could that be something"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1796.79,"endTime":1802.28,"body":"though? Like, have we hit on"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1802.28,"endTime":1805.28,"body":"something potentially here?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1802.28,"endTime":1805.28,"body":"Where if it's about trying to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1805.49,"endTime":1810.41,"body":"look at one part of a place,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1805.49,"endTime":1810.41,"body":"that maybe it's starting small,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1810.41,"endTime":1814.55,"body":"maybe that's a reasonable way to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1810.41,"endTime":1814.55,"body":"make that movement forward? Like"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1814.55,"endTime":1819.2,"body":"don't try and maybe fix the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1814.55,"endTime":1819.2,"body":"whole big memory, but sort of"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1819.41,"endTime":1823.07,"body":"attack bits and pieces of it to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1819.41,"endTime":1823.07,"body":"sort of help get to the other"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1823.07,"endTime":1826.16,"body":"side of it, like building"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1823.07,"endTime":1826.16,"body":"bridges? Starting with"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1826.16,"endTime":1826.82,"body":"Starbucks, maybe?"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1827.3,"endTime":1830.6,"body":"I like that. Because to"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1827.3,"endTime":1830.6,"body":"reframe the entire building"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1831.23,"endTime":1834.35,"body":"seems hard, but going room by"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1831.23,"endTime":1834.35,"body":"room or place by place is"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1834.35,"endTime":1837.8,"body":"interesting. Also, just getting"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1834.35,"endTime":1837.8,"body":"specific like that about the"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1837.8,"endTime":1841.94,"body":"line that we're all in this"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1837.8,"endTime":1841.94,"body":"together. I think it's a good"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1841.97,"endTime":1849.68,"body":"visual. Can we find some"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1841.97,"endTime":1849.68,"body":"memories that are not so"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1849.68,"endTime":1853.55,"body":"traumatic? I'm just curious. Do"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1849.68,"endTime":1853.55,"body":"we have some good ones? Like, is"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1853.55,"endTime":1855.59,"body":"it all trauma in our heads,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1853.55,"endTime":1855.59,"body":"Natalie?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1855.9,"endTime":1860.49,"body":"No. But I mean, they do"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1855.9,"endTime":1860.49,"body":"make for good stories. And"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1860.49,"endTime":1862.74,"body":"funny, we end up laughing with"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1860.49,"endTime":1862.74,"body":"them, right? I mean, like"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1862.74,"endTime":1865.47,"body":"there's, there's something sort"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1862.74,"endTime":1865.47,"body":"of shared in terms of humor"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1866.1,"endTime":1869.67,"body":"around them. But, okay, so let's"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1866.1,"endTime":1869.67,"body":"make this a goal. Can we find a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1869.67,"endTime":1870.93,"body":"non traumatic memory?"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1872.22,"endTime":1875.1,"body":"Okay, as pastors kids,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1872.22,"endTime":1875.1,"body":"so we have, I don't know if"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1875.1,"endTime":1878.91,"body":"we've formally said that. But we"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1875.1,"endTime":1878.91,"body":"are pastors kids. They're called"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1878.91,"endTime":1879.81,"body":"PKs."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1882.12,"endTime":1884.64,"body":"And there are lots of"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1882.12,"endTime":1884.64,"body":"memories attached to very"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1884.64,"endTime":1886.5,"body":"specific church buildings."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1884.64,"endTime":1886.5,"body":"That's very true."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1886.71,"endTime":1890.58,"body":"Yeah. So I have our"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1886.71,"endTime":1890.58,"body":"particular church we grew up in"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1890.58,"endTime":1898.74,"body":"as kids in my head, running"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1890.58,"endTime":1898.74,"body":"through the halls of the church"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1898.74,"endTime":1902.49,"body":"building, running around the"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1898.74,"endTime":1902.49,"body":"outside during church picnics."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1902.76,"endTime":1907.35,"body":"Do you have any of those? Please"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1902.76,"endTime":1907.35,"body":"tell me you have some of those."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1909.79,"endTime":1919.66,"body":"No, I think I do have"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1909.79,"endTime":1919.66,"body":"positive memories of that"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1919.66,"endTime":1924.1,"body":"building. It was very pretty. So"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1919.66,"endTime":1924.1,"body":"I do have like a visual in my"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1924.1,"endTime":1929.68,"body":"head of like a pretty building."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1924.1,"endTime":1929.68,"body":"But I don't remember the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1929.68,"endTime":1937.39,"body":"hallway. I remember a bathroom"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1929.68,"endTime":1937.39,"body":"in the basement that I remember"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1937.39,"endTime":1941.23,"body":"like going into, and then sort"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1937.39,"endTime":1941.23,"body":"of getting like reprimanded for"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1941.23,"endTime":1945.73,"body":"being in there by myself. So I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1941.23,"endTime":1945.73,"body":"mean, that's like a memory."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1946.6,"endTime":1949.96,"body":"Is the bathroom pink,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1946.6,"endTime":1949.96,"body":"like peach? And you got"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1950.02,"endTime":1952.48,"body":"reprimanded for going to the"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1950.02,"endTime":1952.48,"body":"bathroom by yourself, like"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1952.48,"endTime":1956.5,"body":"alone? Like what are you doing"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1952.48,"endTime":1956.5,"body":"here? So maybe it was like"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1956.5,"endTime":1957.91,"body":"during the service or something?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1957.9,"endTime":1960.3,"body":"Yeah, like maybe or"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1957.9,"endTime":1960.3,"body":"maybe I interrupted somebody in"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1960.3,"endTime":1965.61,"body":"the midst of like, their big"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1960.3,"endTime":1965.61,"body":"trauma. And then they didn't"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1965.61,"endTime":1972.81,"body":"want a witness. I have no idea."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1965.61,"endTime":1972.81,"body":"Okay, I'll keep digging. I do"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1972.81,"endTime":1975.48,"body":"remember getting baptized. I was"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1972.81,"endTime":1975.48,"body":"like, you know, I don't know,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1975.48,"endTime":1979.02,"body":"12. And I've never had great"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1975.48,"endTime":1979.02,"body":"eyesight. You've always had like"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1979.02,"endTime":1981.51,"body":"these perfect eyes. And I've"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1979.02,"endTime":1981.51,"body":"always had to wear glasses from"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1981.51,"endTime":1984.24,"body":"when I was, like 10 or 11."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1981.51,"endTime":1984.24,"body":"Right."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1984.3,"endTime":1987.27,"body":"And we should just say"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1984.3,"endTime":1987.27,"body":"that getting baptized is normal"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":1987.75,"endTime":1988.74,"body":"in Baptist Church."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1988.8,"endTime":1992.46,"body":"Yeah, as normal. It not"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1988.8,"endTime":1992.46,"body":"like a Catholic thing where you"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1992.46,"endTime":1999.18,"body":"get baptized when you're a baby."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1992.46,"endTime":1999.18,"body":"You're making a choice. But so I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1999.21,"endTime":2003.47,"body":"do remember getting baptized and"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":1999.21,"endTime":2003.47,"body":"then having to have my glasses"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2003.47,"endTime":2011.48,"body":"off. And so I couldn't see"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2003.47,"endTime":2011.48,"body":"anybody. Curiously, I can"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2011.48,"endTime":2014.81,"body":"actually like close my eyes"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2011.48,"endTime":2014.81,"body":"right now and remember coming up"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2014.81,"endTime":2020.27,"body":"out of the water and I can't see"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2014.81,"endTime":2020.27,"body":"anything."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2020.6,"endTime":2021.92,"body":"Did you feel like you"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2020.6,"endTime":2021.92,"body":"were in heaven?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2021.87,"endTime":2024.09,"body":"Maybe like, I don't"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2021.87,"endTime":2024.09,"body":"know. But you know what? There"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2024.09,"endTime":2027.48,"body":"is something kind of beautiful"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2024.09,"endTime":2027.48,"body":"in that it was Dad. Oh my gosh,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2027.48,"endTime":2031.44,"body":"this could kind of make me"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2027.48,"endTime":2031.44,"body":"weepy. Like just Dad dipping me"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2031.44,"endTime":2034.62,"body":"under and pulling me back up and"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2031.44,"endTime":2034.62,"body":"I can't see anybody. So it's"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2034.62,"endTime":2041.37,"body":"just Dad, me and Jesus. And"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2034.62,"endTime":2041.37,"body":"there's something kind of lovely"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2041.37,"endTime":2044.22,"body":"about that. Like in that, I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2041.37,"endTime":2044.22,"body":"think that definitely my own"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2044.46,"endTime":2049.14,"body":"feelings around faith are"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2044.46,"endTime":2049.14,"body":"connected very much to our"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2050.22,"endTime":2054.0,"body":"really, really, really wonderful"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2050.22,"endTime":2054.0,"body":"parents. So like, there's"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2054.0,"endTime":2056.97,"body":"something about that. So yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2054.0,"endTime":2056.97,"body":"can remember that. Church"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2056.97,"endTime":2059.73,"body":"picnics. I only remember all the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2056.97,"endTime":2059.73,"body":"boys I had crushes on and they"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2059.73,"endTime":2061.23,"body":"never liked me back. So that was"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2059.73,"endTime":2061.23,"body":"hard."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2066.12,"endTime":2070.65,"body":"All right. What about"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2066.12,"endTime":2070.65,"body":"New Year's Eve celebrations? Do"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2070.95,"endTime":2075.66,"body":"you have any fond memories"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2070.95,"endTime":2075.66,"body":"there? I feel like we're not"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2075.66,"endTime":2079.56,"body":"gonna hit on any mutual ones."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2075.66,"endTime":2079.56,"body":"But New Year's Eve staying up"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2079.56,"endTime":2083.67,"body":"all night and that like fun,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2079.56,"endTime":2083.67,"body":"nauseous feeling of being up for"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2083.67,"endTime":2084.63,"body":"too many hours."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2094.95,"endTime":2098.25,"body":"I do remember New"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2094.95,"endTime":2098.25,"body":"Year's Eve where we all camped"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2098.25,"endTime":2100.95,"body":"out with like our big group of"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2098.25,"endTime":2100.95,"body":"friends when we were Like, you"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2100.95,"endTime":2105.54,"body":"know, late teens early 20s, and"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2100.95,"endTime":2105.54,"body":"it was in Simon's so your now"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2105.54,"endTime":2111.96,"body":"husband's grandfather's cottage"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2105.54,"endTime":2111.96,"body":"though. Yeah, it had like all"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2111.96,"endTime":2116.37,"body":"those lawnmowers and living"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2111.96,"endTime":2116.37,"body":"rooms so. So we were all lined"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2116.37,"endTime":2120.42,"body":"up in the sleeping bags and"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2116.37,"endTime":2120.42,"body":"surrounded by lonmark. So I do"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2120.42,"endTime":2123.75,"body":"have a memory of that. I don't"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2120.42,"endTime":2123.75,"body":"remember the Najah, because I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2123.75,"endTime":2126.06,"body":"just remember the lawnmowers,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2123.75,"endTime":2126.06,"body":"but you remember the one word."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2127.41,"endTime":2130.17,"body":"Okay, remembering the"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2127.41,"endTime":2130.17,"body":"lawnmowers. Now, yeah, and in"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2130.17,"endTime":2135.87,"body":"the bathrooms it was always very"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2130.17,"endTime":2135.87,"body":"hard to find the toilet because"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2136.05,"endTime":2136.8,"body":"of the lawnmowers maybe?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2138.06,"endTime":2139.68,"body":"So I blocked out the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2138.06,"endTime":2139.68,"body":"bathroom, so."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2143.28,"endTime":2146.16,"body":"Do you have any"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2143.28,"endTime":2146.16,"body":"memories that you would like to"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2146.16,"endTime":2147.09,"body":"offer to me?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2147.48,"endTime":2151.29,"body":"Okay, well, do you"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2147.48,"endTime":2151.29,"body":"remember our friend Sharon? Do"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2151.29,"endTime":2156.54,"body":"you remember learning to drive"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2151.29,"endTime":2156.54,"body":"in her car? Can you remember?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2156.54,"endTime":2158.49,"body":"Like it was this Chrysler."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2160.05,"endTime":2160.8,"body":"Was it blue?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2160.83,"endTime":2164.49,"body":"Yeah. Okay, maybe. But"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2160.83,"endTime":2164.49,"body":"I don't remember a lot. Oh,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2164.49,"endTime":2168.24,"body":"maybe in the parking lot of our"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2164.49,"endTime":2168.24,"body":"local high school."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2169.77,"endTime":2170.88,"body":"She taught you to"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2169.77,"endTime":2170.88,"body":"drive?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2171.24,"endTime":2172.59,"body":"Yeah, but she taught"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2171.24,"endTime":2172.59,"body":"you to drive too."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2174.21,"endTime":2178.95,"body":"I don't remember. I"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2174.21,"endTime":2178.95,"body":"remember giving her makeovers."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2178.95,"endTime":2179.79,"body":"Do you remember that?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2179.94,"endTime":2182.97,"body":"No. But you know what,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2179.94,"endTime":2182.97,"body":"maybe we're hitting on something"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2182.97,"endTime":2187.11,"body":"here. If we are remembering lots"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2182.97,"endTime":2187.11,"body":"of similarily connected people"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2187.14,"endTime":2189.12,"body":"and places, but we don't"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2187.14,"endTime":2189.12,"body":"remember the same thing--then"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2189.48,"endTime":2194.49,"body":"isn't that the beauty? Of having"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2189.48,"endTime":2194.49,"body":"these long term relationships"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2194.49,"endTime":2198.6,"body":"like us, like our sisterly"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2194.49,"endTime":2198.6,"body":"connections, to kind of help to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2198.6,"endTime":2201.63,"body":"fill in some of those holes."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2202.17,"endTime":2203.31,"body":"Yeah, it is."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2204.35,"endTime":2210.53,"body":"I mean it's fun. And"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2204.35,"endTime":2210.53,"body":"I'm grateful to get to throw all"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2210.53,"endTime":2213.83,"body":"these memories out with you and"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2210.53,"endTime":2213.83,"body":"just see what, what's sticking"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2213.83,"endTime":2216.29,"body":"for you and what's sticking for"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2213.83,"endTime":2216.29,"body":"me and that we can do this"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2216.29,"endTime":2216.83,"body":"together."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2254.6,"endTime":2259.31,"body":"Last thing. And thank"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2254.6,"endTime":2259.31,"body":"you, listeners, for playing the"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2259.31,"endTime":2263.54,"body":"\"remember when\" game. Do you"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2259.31,"endTime":2263.54,"body":"remember getting out at"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2263.54,"endTime":2266.15,"body":"stoplights? And like running"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2263.54,"endTime":2266.15,"body":"around and changing places in"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2266.15,"endTime":2276.35,"body":"the car? No. Okay. This is This"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2266.15,"endTime":2276.35,"body":"podcast is gonna require a whole"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2276.35,"endTime":2283.25,"body":"other separate discussion. I"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2276.35,"endTime":2283.25,"body":"think we need a flow chart."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2284.09,"endTime":2286.85,"body":"Yeah, like one of those"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2284.09,"endTime":2286.85,"body":"big maps. Yeah, it's true. Like"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2286.85,"endTime":2289.1,"body":"on any television show where all"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2286.85,"endTime":2289.1,"body":"of a sudden they start kind of"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2289.1,"endTime":2292.67,"body":"linking things. And then we'll"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2289.1,"endTime":2292.67,"body":"find the center and in it each"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2292.67,"endTime":2293.09,"body":"other."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2294.8,"endTime":2298.43,"body":"Okay, so, do we need to"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2294.8,"endTime":2298.43,"body":"go back to the backyard at all?"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2298.43,"endTime":2300.56,"body":"Or have we reframed that for"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2298.43,"endTime":2300.56,"body":"you?"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2300.51,"endTime":2304.05,"body":"I don't think we did."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2300.51,"endTime":2304.05,"body":"And you know what, okay, so"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2304.05,"endTime":2307.89,"body":"here's a claustrophobic space."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2304.05,"endTime":2307.89,"body":"Yeah, yes, I think I can reframe"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2308.76,"endTime":2319.17,"body":"the claustrophobic space of the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2308.76,"endTime":2319.17,"body":"shed as being a place where I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2319.17,"endTime":2322.5,"body":"recognize that I'm good when I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2319.17,"endTime":2322.5,"body":"have boundaries, like when I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2322.5,"endTime":2324.54,"body":"write pieces, right,"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2322.5,"endTime":2324.54,"body":"specifically, when I'm writing"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2324.54,"endTime":2329.58,"body":"like academic essays, I find"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2324.54,"endTime":2329.58,"body":"that when I have an outline, I"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2329.61,"endTime":2332.49,"body":"can feel like really free"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2329.61,"endTime":2332.49,"body":"because now I have like these"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2332.67,"endTime":2338.1,"body":"walls within which to build my"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2332.67,"endTime":2338.1,"body":"piece out. The walls make me"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2338.1,"endTime":2342.72,"body":"feel safe. Like I've got"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2338.1,"endTime":2342.72,"body":"somewhere to go. So maybe, and"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2342.72,"endTime":2346.77,"body":"I'm going up here like a pointy"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2342.72,"endTime":2346.77,"body":"tip your finger--"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2347.97,"endTime":2350.58,"body":"I just want to say this"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2347.97,"endTime":2350.58,"body":"is Natalie's greatest skill at"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2350.58,"endTime":2354.78,"body":"work creating links like she's"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2350.58,"endTime":2354.78,"body":"doing right now. She's reframing"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2354.93,"endTime":2359.73,"body":"herself being trapped in a shed"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2354.93,"endTime":2359.73,"body":"as creating beautiful boundaries"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2359.76,"endTime":2362.94,"body":"for her self."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2362.97,"endTime":2367.83,"body":"And it's my favorite"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2362.97,"endTime":2367.83,"body":"thing, but I think I can do"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2367.83,"endTime":2372.36,"body":"this. I think that shed can"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2367.83,"endTime":2372.36,"body":"maybe if I can return to that"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2372.39,"endTime":2375.0,"body":"place and make some new meaning"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2372.39,"endTime":2375.0,"body":"of it, I think it can be a place"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2375.0,"endTime":2378.87,"body":"that's good for my mind. Because"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2375.0,"endTime":2378.87,"body":"if walls, instead of being a"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2378.87,"endTime":2383.94,"body":"place symbolizing fear, maybe"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2378.87,"endTime":2383.94,"body":"they can represent, like the"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2383.94,"endTime":2386.85,"body":"comfort and health as an adult"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2383.94,"endTime":2386.85,"body":"of having some established"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2386.85,"endTime":2390.24,"body":"boundaries. Boom."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2393.27,"endTime":2396.24,"body":"Yeah, I think that's"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2393.27,"endTime":2396.24,"body":"beautiful. I think I need to"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2396.24,"endTime":2398.46,"body":"journal about that. For real."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2399.45,"endTime":2401.52,"body":"I probably need to go"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2399.45,"endTime":2401.52,"body":"for a walk and sit with my own"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2401.52,"endTime":2406.47,"body":"thoughts and actually determine"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2401.52,"endTime":2406.47,"body":"if I can make that real more"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2406.47,"endTime":2408.9,"body":"than just in this conversation."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2406.47,"endTime":2408.9,"body":"You know what I mean? Like, like"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2408.9,"endTime":2411.15,"body":"how you said earlier. Like, how"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2408.9,"endTime":2411.15,"body":"do you make meaning of the words"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2411.15,"endTime":2413.19,"body":"like actually sort of repeat"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2411.15,"endTime":2413.19,"body":"them to myself?"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2413.58,"endTime":2417.87,"body":"Yeah, repeat them. And,"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2413.58,"endTime":2417.87,"body":"you know, so it changes the way"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2417.87,"endTime":2422.43,"body":"we live in a way. Yeah, I don't"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2417.87,"endTime":2422.43,"body":"want to just talk. I don't want"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2422.43,"endTime":2424.23,"body":"to just talk shit with you, Nat!"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2424.0,"endTime":2429.43,"body":"Yeah, I want  it to"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2424.0,"endTime":2429.43,"body":"mean something. I want to be"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2429.43,"endTime":2433.39,"body":"able to circle back to something"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2429.43,"endTime":2433.39,"body":"and constantly make it new and"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2433.39,"endTime":2440.02,"body":"fresh. And possible. I think"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2433.39,"endTime":2440.02,"body":"that's a good note back. I think"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2440.02,"endTime":2441.88,"body":"people could do something with"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2440.02,"endTime":2441.88,"body":"that if they wanted to."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2441.97,"endTime":2446.23,"body":"Although we encourage"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2441.97,"endTime":2446.23,"body":"you to play the \"do you remember"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2448.39,"endTime":2451.21,"body":"when\" game with your siblings or"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2448.39,"endTime":2451.21,"body":"anybody in your life."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2451.21,"endTime":2453.49,"body":"You want to do that"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2451.21,"endTime":2453.49,"body":"with because we've had some good"},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2453.49,"endTime":2455.77,"body":"laughs. Yeah, it feels good."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2455.89,"endTime":2460.72,"body":"It does feel good."},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2455.89,"endTime":2460.72,"body":"Okay, well, next time. I love"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2460.72,"endTime":2463.0,"body":"you. Thank you for your mind for"},{"speaker":"Rebecca","startTime":2460.72,"endTime":2463.0,"body":"sharing it."},{"speaker":"Natalie","startTime":2465.19,"endTime":2467.08,"body":"Love you. Okay, bye!"}]}