How to Build Stage Presence and Command A Room

Stage presence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you build.

In this episode, I break down what stage presence actually is — and why so many talented speakers believe they “just don’t have it.” If you’ve ever felt flat on stage, unsure how to engage the audience, or tempted to copy other speakers to sound more dynamic, this conversation will change how you approach public speaking.

You’ll learn:

• What stage presence really means (and what it’s not)
• Why confidence and volume aren’t the same thing
• How body language, posture, and movement impact how you’re perceived
• Why copying other speakers kills connection
• How to start building your own speaking presence intentionally

This episode is for speakers, coaches, and leaders who want to command the room without becoming someone they’re not. Presence isn’t about performance — it’s about alignment, preparation, and how you hold space.

I also share how speakers build this skill inside Standing O, where we develop speaker identity and stage leadership, and SpeakEazy, where speakers practice presence and delivery in real time.

You don’t need to change who you are to be powerful on stage.
 You need to amplify the speaker you already are.

Transcript

0:00

Welcome back to the Public Speaking Icon podcast. I'm your host, Coco Gunn, also known as the Voice Architect. And today's topic is juicy, and it's also controversial, I think, to an extent. And what we're gonna be talking about today is stage presence, and it's, you know. Um, presence is not just your personality, okay? I want you guys to know that it takes practice to create this aura or feeling that you have when you enter a space or a room or a stage. And the first thing I'm gonna do is I want to debunk one of the biggest myths out there about stage presence, which is. Some people, they just have it. It's like the word, it's like confidence. People think, oh, I was just born confidence. No, you've experienced life. You've taken some challenges, you've taken some risks that have made you more confident in yourself. That's how that happens. But there's this myth out there that people just have, they come out the womb with stage presence and that's not actually the case. You know, that belief actually keeps a lot of us, especially as women. Super quiet.'cause we think, oh, we, you know, I just, I just don't have the presence. I, I don't even, you know, she was just born with it, you know, look at how graceful and you know, how engaging she is and she just owns this room. No. Like, for you guys to even think that it is, it is something that has been ingrained. I don't know where it came from, but it's ingrained in our brains that we believe that people are just born that way. They're just blessed, which we all are blessed. And so the last thing is that, um, presence is a skill. You can, you, you, a skill set, you can train. Okay? It is. You know, it is something, and it's, it's not a myth. Like I think that presence is something that you can definitely work on and train over time, but you have to decide. You have to decide on, on what that looks like. And so we're gonna start off a little bit, start off first, obviously with the myth, but you know what stage presence actually is. Okay? Because I think a lot of people get this confused. And the first thing is, is that it's not volume, okay? It does not mean that the latter you are, the more presence you have, okay? That does not equal powerful at all. All right? And. It's not a personality, okay? You don't need to be flashy or over the top or you know, the, the person that wants the most attention in the room. You know, presence is energy and intention, right? So you have this excitement, but what is your intention behind it? Are you trying to move a room? Are you trying to make people laugh? Are you trying to be funny? Are you trying to be chill? You know how it's, it's actually how you hold this space. And I'm telling you right now, I have crafted presence like in, in the many of years. And a lot of it started with. Me being in pageants and I, I don't know why I say it that way. Me being in pageants, being a pageant contestant. Okay, that sounds a lot better. See, I'm working, you guys know I'm working on myself too. But it's how you hold the space and it's how the room responds to you. And I wanna give you guys a quick example. Uh, the last event that I ceed, there was a lot of chitter chatter. I mean, just everyone was kiking and which was good. People were networking and it was right. And we were about to begin right after lunch. And the kind of presence that I've created is this leadership authoritative in a very cool, calm, collected kind of way. And I just stood on stage and I made eye contact with a few people. And as my presence started to consume the room, the stage got the, the room got quieter, the attention was turned to me. And I didn't have to say a word, but I've had to, my energy was, I need their attention. I need their focus. And me screaming and yelling on the microphone, be quiet, sit down. We're about to start. That's not gonna work because no one's paying attention, but silence me on stage in silence. Created this. It's time for me. I need your attention. I need you to shift the room this way. And it's kind of like when you. When you see a, a, a diamond for the first time, this beautiful four karat diamond, right? You don't even have to, you, all you wanna do is just look at it and stare at it, but you're like, I know this is a diamond. It's beautiful, but I'm, why do I keep wanting to look at it? Right, and so that's the kind of presence that I created over time. But it has to shift sometimes, depending on the, the room and the environment. But stage presence is, is not, you know, loud or how loud you are. It's definitely not a personality. It's energy plus intention. You know how you hold the space and of course how the room responds to you. Now, there's a few things that I consider the building blocks of presence. Okay? The first one is eye contact. Okay, you're looking to connect, not to scan the room. So in that moment when I was MCing that event, and I could not, I I, I had to get the attention of the audience without it being aggressive or loud or, you know, uh, disre not even disrespectful. I wouldn't say it was that, but sometimes you were trying to get people's attention and you start getting louder than them in the hopes that that works. No, I slowly stood on stage and I started making eye contact with the audience. And I didn't have to say anything. I smiled and you can see the attention. People were like, shh. Like who goes on stage? She's on stage. We're about to get started, right? It's body language. Im posture. If I had my arms crossed on stage and I was giving everyone a nasty look, they would be in fear and trying to figure out what's wrong. Some of'em may not even be paying attention, right? So I'm in an open stance. My feet are grounded, my shoulders are back, and I'm relaxed. And I'm connecting. I'm giving my energy. I am, I'm, I'm projecting this energy of, Hey, it's time to chill. Hey, it's time to, to get back on track without it being like, oh, I need your attention right now. And no one's paying attention to me.'cause again, that doesn't work. Movement move with the story, but not randomly. So if you were telling a story, right? If I'm giving you guys the rundown on stage, I, I think there was an example I had when I was talking about, I was introducing a speaker. As I was saying, highlights of the speaker's bio, my movement changed and I was either, you know, very high or I was leaning forward to the audience, which now gave them that presence of not just hearing my words, but actually feeling my words. And the last thing is appearance. What you wear. Reinforces authority, and I get it, everyone has their own style, but if you're going to pick a particular kind of style, stick with that style, whether people agree with it or not, because we need to be able to match your brand. We need to be able to make sure that the person we're seeing online and what they wear online is the same person we're gonna see on stage. If you are someone, like for me, I wear very vibrant colors. I, you know, I'm outside the box, you know, I wear big, bulky glasses. And I don't even need to wear glasses, by the way, you guys, I have lasik. I got LASIK to not wear glasses, but then I always wear glasses. But anyway, and so one of my, when you see me in person, I have the same image, right? But if you are super, you know, out there, you, you have all these really cool outfits on your platform, but then on stage, you're in a suit. And very tailored. We're not gonna be able to match. The presence isn't gonna match or make sense. So alignment is super important when it comes to stage presence. Everything needs to be aligned. So I want you to think about these building blocks, okay? You need to have, be making eye contact. This is not just when you're on stage either. This is also when you are attending networking events and you're meeting people for the first time. Eye contact matters, okay? If you're looking at the ground, you're looking down, that does not embody presence, body language, and posture, how you're sitting in your chair, right? Is your head high? Is it your head low or your shoulders back? Are you tense movement? If you're having a conversation or if you're on stage, the more you move your body. I'm not saying run back and forth, but your body language should match the delivery aspect, the delivery, the section of delivery you are in your speech. And sometimes that means no movement. Sometimes that means movement. But this is gonna sound crazy, but I want you guys to intuitively feel this because many of you will be out there trying to mimic the movement that you see your favorite speaker make, and it doesn't match you. Your movement should be intuitive to what it is that you're saying. And the more you run your speech and not memorize it, but the more you run it, the more your body is gonna get comfortable forcing you, not forcing you, but intentionally moving you in the direction. Because it, it feels there's movement that's needed there. There's a lot that goes into this, guys. Let me tell you, I love, love, love coaching my clients because once they grasp this concept, it blows their mind and they're like, oh, that's why I felt weird moving right there because it didn't make sense. And you're those four things out. And also appearance, right? Those four building blocks are super important in maintaining presence. If you think about your favorite actor or actress or someone that you're inspired by. They typically embody all of these things. And if you start paying attention to it, you'll see it more and more often. Those people that are, that are, that you consider super confident, it's not just a confidence thing, it's a presence thing that you're feeling, you're feeling their energy. And it may be, it may be, uh, uh, called confidence, which there is, you know, you have confidence, but presence is different. It's an energy. It's an energy that you bring to the table with intention. Okay, so. There's this thing that's happening in the speaker community, and for me, I think it's just, it's kind of like when you, I don't even know how to describe it, but there's this thing that's happening where speakers are copying other speakers, right? So let's talk a little about why copying other speakers and their style and their presence is going to be a big fat fail for you. And the first one is borrowed confidence. It just feels weird. It feels weird. And we can tell, you can take inspiration from your favorite speaker on stage and say, oh, I like the way that she did this. I like the way he did that. But I tell my speakers all the time, you know, one of my speakers, you know, we were talking in our chat about some things they wanna work on in this quarter and she said, you know, Coco, I wanna work on my RBF face if you guys know what that is, resting beep face. And she said, I know you're just gonna tell me to smile. And I was like, wait a minute. Are that face is part of who you are, why would we wanna fix that? Embody that and tell the audience, acknowledge it. Hey guys, just so you know, I have RBF and please don't take it personal. So if I'm staring at you, it's not on me. It's just the face that I, I just, it's just the face that I make. So I just wanna give you guys that heads up. It is okay to acknowledge the little nuances that make you, you. That's the way the connection happens, and some of you are out there trying to tailor and alter who you are to meet this speaker profile that you've created based on someone that you're inspired by, and it totally comes off fake and phony and ingenuous. And that's not what you want. I know for a speaker, you guys want to the audience to feel you. You want that emotion to be there, and you want that presence to stand. But you can't do that if you're trying to take that presence and confidence from someone that you're inspired by. Right. And you know what we have to also understand is that this often when you do this, okay, and this is example of course with the RBF, right? It dilutes your personality. It feels like there's this thing on top of you, like an umbrella or a, a, a shadow that's on top of you because you want, you want, you don't wanna show the real version or the real presence that you have, that you created because it doesn't match or it doesn't look like your favorite speaker. Okay. So, you know, presence, it, it actually comes, it comes in in honestly from alignment. And when you feel aligned with what it is that you're talking about, if you feel aligned in the space that you're in, it's gonna, it's, it's, it's gonna feel great. It's not gonna feel like you're this imitation of someone that you're inspired by. And it's super important that you guys lock into this because at the end of the day, if you learn to embody your own presence. The connections that you're gonna make and the collaborations that you're gonna have, and the energy you're gonna receive from someone that you're speaking with is gonna be totally different than when you are imitating or trying to have presence like someone else. So I want you to think about how you can create what I call your speaking alter ego. And this goes back to the whole Beyonce, Sasha Fierce, okay? Beyonce's Beyonce's off. She's Beyonce off stage. When she's on stage. She's Sasha Fierce. It's her alter ego. And I know some people think this is crazy and I don't under, you know, it's, I don't wanna embody that person. You create your speaker, al your speaker, alter ego, however you wanna create them. You know, for me. I worked on, you know, who I wanted to be seen as on stage, you know, what kind of presence did I wanna have and you know, I didn't necessarily have like a name or anything for my alter ego, but there was that on and off switch. Yeah, for sure. But now there isn't, and I'm just that person.'cause it feels good. It feels aligned for me. So when you think of your speaker alter ego, I want you to think of this as the elevated version of you, right? Whatever that looks like. Is she, you know, what does she wear? You know, what kind of jewelry does she have on? What does she speaking about? What does her makeup look like or his makeup look like? If you're a guy that likes to wear makeup, but I want you to think that this is an elevation, right? Not a reinvention of who you are. You're taking the really, really cool things about yourself and you're elevating them to create this presence, you know, good, bad, or, you know, and there's, I don't think, you know, we all have this thing about qual, you know, bad qualities. You know, not, it is not a bad quality. You can, you can champion on that quality that you can consider bad and embrace it, and that actually feels better than trying to hide it. So I want you to think of this as an elevation for yourself and. You know, write down who is the version of you that like owns the room, what is she doing? What kind of outfit is she wearing? How does she walk into the room? You know, are nails done? Is there a hair done? Does she have, you know, who, who is that version? And write it down. And you start to create and craft the speaker, alter ego, and you can make it as wild as you want it to be. If you want to. There's no limit to this and I think that's where some of you may get stuck'cause you're trying to put yourself in this box of what an ideal speaker should be, which I get it. Some speaker, some organ, some events. Just want this tailored style speaker. That just means that room's not for you and that's okay. You know, I'm not everyone's speaker either or everyone's mc. I go find the rooms where I can be the mc or speaker that I, that I am. Right. You know, I. Also when you're creating this, this alter ego, how is she standing? How is she speaking? How is she preparing to get on stage? What's her nighttime, daytime routine look like? Write it down, jot these things down because this is, this is where P presence begins, is, is deciding what do I want this presence to feel like? What do I want this energy to be? And. Start to work on it. Literally start to work on it. And here's the most important thing that I want you guys to remember. When it comes to present presence, there are daily habits that can reinforce this identity. And I, I want you to, here's an example, right? My speaker identity, she's very. Engaging. She's energizing. She can be funny, but she moves her presence and the way that she holds herself. She moves the room by just her moving her by, like the walk across stage, the confidence in which she walks across stage, right? That's, that's my speaker, speaker identity. But the habits that I do, I take care of myself. I do my skincare routine. I listen to affirmations. I feel my body with this, this energy of. Bos, I don't know the word. You know, I wouldn't say feminism, but it just feels very, I, the word confident can come across too. Ah, I am trying to think of the word. But I do things in my daily routines that support the identity that I want to be on stage. I wear, you know, the outfits that make me feel the most confident. You know, I take care of my body. I take care of my skin. You know, I eat. I eat the foods that my speaker identity would eat. You have to embody this, and I know that sounds crazy, but I promise you if you do this, you're going to see a significant increase in your presence and people will definitely start to notice. So I want you just to, you know, sit on that for a moment and, and think about, okay, what kind of presence do I want to create and, and how I'm gonna do that? Because, again, it's built like, just like confidence. It's something that you consistently have to work on every single day, you know, because at the end of the day, right, presence isn't gonna wait for you. You know, you can sit back and just chill and that's the presence that you can create. That's fine. But if you wanna move a room, if you want people to, to stop in their tracks and be like, who is she? Then you're gonna have to identify those things that are going to get you to that place. And everyone has it in them, every single person, because we all weren't born shy. Something happened in our life that made us feel like we had to shrink ourself. And as you continue to build this presence, it's something that you're gonna have to train, train for different environments, train for different conversations, but it co, it compounds every time you step up, every time you get to the next level, every time you are going somewhere in your business or you make that next income bracket. It's constantly building and it's, it's a work, it's a work in progress. Like we are always a work in progress, but presence is definitely one of them. And I want for you guys to be able to have that moment where you hit that room and people stop and say, wow, that your energy just moves them to say, I gotta talk to her. I gotta be in her presence. Who is she? I need to know who she is. So work on these things. You know, it's, it's, it's, it's important, especially if you're a business owner and you wanna be on stages. You gotta be able to hold the space and it comes from presence and not confidence. So I'll leave you with this if you guys are interested in learning more about your speaking skills, developing your speaking skills, or getting hot seat coaching from me. I do have a community, it's called Standing O, and it is a speaker community for aspiring speakers, new speakers, current speakers that want to just work on their skill sets and get one-on-one coaching for me, or being in the hot seat and. It's not something that's a big time commitment. I know working on a keynote, it takes time. You need, you need that, that, that one-on-one connection. But this is just a place for you to practice, rehearse, and get ideas flowing and get and get and get feedback. And lastly, if you are in the Orlando area, I am hosting a speaker lab called Speakeasy Orlando, which is going to be a hot seat coaching call as well as improv. Activities to help you grow as a speaker, and that's happening on March 12th, 2026 at Binks Coffee Orlando from seven to 9:00 PM All of the links will be in the show notes. Listen. I leave you with this presence is one thing that is required if you are going to take you and your business to the next level. And it requires work. So I hope to see this work begin. Tag me on your stories. I wanna see the work. If you have questions, hit me in the dms. Listen, when you get into that phase of presence where the room just moves, when you enter, there's no place like it. Until next time, we'll chat soon. Ciao.