The Akiona Law Podcast: Featuring Jennifer Lee

In this episode, of the Akiona Law Podcast, Ululani “Lani” Akiona speaks with Jennifer Lee, AWMA, AIF, founding partner of Modern Wealth and author of "Squeeze the Juice: Live with Purpose, then Leave a Legacy." Jennifer's book is an anecdotal, approachable, and thought-provoking guide to tackling life and financial preparedness with ease. Jennifer and Lani discuss the benefits of using a financial advisor when facing life’s upsets such as divorce.  It's about understanding what you're entitled to, what your resources can do for you, and what your life is going to look like. You can purchase Jennifer’s book here. https://squeezethejuicebook.com/ .Click here to schedule a no cost, no obligation call with Jennifer. https://calendly.com/Jennifermodernwealth/20min?back=1&month=2025-01 

Transcript

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Okay, so we're going to do an initial beginning countdown here to this podcast.

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All right, five, four, three. Hi, welcome to another episode of the Akiona Law Podcast. I am Ululani Akiona, and in this podcast.

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We talk about anything and everything that intersects in the areas of family law and divorce.

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And today I'm excited to have My guest is financial advisor, Jennifer Lee.

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And Jennifer brings over 26 years of expertise in financial services in the financial services industry in Florida.

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To our show. She is the She runs Martin Well.

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Which is a financial firm focused on helping individuals through transition And more importantly, the focus is on the non-moneyed partner.

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And she also wrote a book and we're excited to talk about that today called Squeeze the Juice.

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Live with purpose, then leave a legacy. Jennifer, welcome to the podcast.

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Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. I'm excited to be here.

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So Jennifer, why don't you go ahead and tell us a little bit about yourself? How did you get started in this industry, financial advising?

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Well, I get it honest. My dad was an advisor for almost 49 years, so I kind of got it from a little kid.

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No.

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I've just had an aptitude for finance, for numbers, for money And was that adolescent that had multiple jobs because I wanted to buy stuff and wanted things that were my own and I didn't want to have to ask for money for it. So always been entrepreneurial.

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And I went to college and got a degree in economics and business and accounting.

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And got a very pedestrian job working in accounting. And a couple of years in, my dad said, do you want to join And I said, yes. Now, realize I didn't understand I had to actually talk to people.

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Oh.

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And market myself. So that's a whole other thing. But yeah, I'm just, I built my practice based on helping people understand money and make it a little bit a little bit more palatable because I find that people are anxious about it. So I'm comfortable. I'm going to try to help

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Clients and colleagues get more comfortable with their own resources and how to make that work for them.

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Yeah, and money is a big topic and And the reason why I became an attorney is because I'm bad with numbers.

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What does it mean when I know one of your your practice's mission is to help the non-moneyed spouse. Can you talk more about that

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Sure. You know, I've been doing this, gosh, 29 years and About 12 years ago, I moved to Florida from Maryland.

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29 years.

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Okay.

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And I started, you know, I didn't know anybody here. So I started going to some networking things. I had to introduce myself and You know, woman after woman would respond to me and say, I have one of you and my husband handles that.

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I thought, well, okay, well, that's a non-starter. So I had to really take a minute and look at my clients and look at Who I love to work with. So those happen to be people who are going through big change.

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You have a loss of a spouse. You relocate, you buy or sell a house.

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You buy yourself a business. Or you're going through divorce, right? Life is in an upheaval.

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Right. Yeah.

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And you're anxious. And there's a lot of balls in the air. And so I really focus my practice on helping that person who's not so comfortable in that space Assess what they have.

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And then really think about what is it that you want?

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Because I'm not here to tell you what you need to have in your divorce. I'm here to ask you, what do you want?

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And so if I know what your resources are and I know what you want.

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I can help make it as efficient as possible. And that's really what our job is.

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So let me wrap my head around this for a second. Okay, so let's say Let's say… Okay, so I'm going through a divorce and i'm going through a divorce And I'll tell you what now, folks, even though I'm a family law divorce attorney and I've been doing it for over 20 years, that does not make it any easier, okay?

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It is horrible. It is tough. You know, I was with my spouse for about 25 years total We have two boys. Our oldest is in college. The youngest is a junior in high school.

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And yeah, you know, my husband, it wore the pants in the family, especially when it came to finances.

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He made more than me. He has more retirement than me.

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And he controlled the finances. And I tell you what, folks, even now, he still is controlling the finances because even though we've asked for financial information.

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He's only giving me one pay stub, folks. That's it. I've turned over everything for my And I've got it one pay stub.

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Okay. So using me as a hypothetical, and he's probably going to listen to this podcast. So give me more financial information

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Yeah.

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Yeah. Well, we don't necessarily want them listening to your podcast, but You know, okay, so what I would talk to somebody like yourself about is I would say, okay, what do you have in that marriage, right? What are the assets?

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With your income versus his income, what a retirement account values.

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Yeah.

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You know, what did you bring to the marriage in the beginning? What did he bring to the marriage? All those things. So we factor that out.

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And that's what you have as far as your resources. And then what do you want? You know, we all want everything right in the divorce, right? And that's not realistic, as you certainly know.

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Yeah. Oh, yeah.

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But as an advisor, my next question is, what did your attorney say?

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You would be entitled to if you went all the way through the court system, right? It might be half of the retirement account, half of this, half of that, whatever it is, or whatever division And what do you need to do to make sure your kids are taken care of, right?

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Right, right. College.

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For their college and all those things. And then, you know, and then you and then you kind of process through that. So if you're going to get half or whatever proportional amount of those resources.

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What is that going to allow you to do in your post divorce life?

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How does that money compute for you? Putting financial stuff in the simplest of terms.

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That chunk of money, the retirement piece, the personal asset piece.

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Any cash or a sale of property, whatever that money is.

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Okay.

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Those resources have to generate income to supplement your life, right? Because all of a sudden You had two producing people in one house and now you got to have two separate mortgages. You got to split it up. It's the economics, it's just simple math, right? It's going to be a little bit more challenging.

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So this is what I was thinking, right? Like I understand the concept of especially after a divorce, working with a financial advisor to kind of help you you plan moving forward.

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Are you saying, though, that through the divorce, a non-moneyed spouse should also be meeting with a financial advisor?

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I absolutely think so. Time after time, I will do a talk and people will say, where were you when I was going through my divorce?

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I gave up too soon. I got divorce fatigue. I said, I just want it over and just he can have this or he can have that or I don't care so much.

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Yeah.

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No, let's make sure we understand what you're entitled to. Let's make sure we advocate for you. Let me make sure that you toe the line and let's get your fair share. If you want to donate it after the fact, fine.

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But you should get your piece, right? And there are things like you know little nuances that you want to be mindful of. If you own a house together and there's a $500,000 capital gain if you were to sell it.

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It would be tax-free if you did it while you're married.

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What?

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Right? Yes. Every two years you can have a $250,000 per person tax-free capital gain.

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Or your primary residence. So if you decided you're going to keep the house that's got a $500,000 tax-free capital gain.

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And you give him cash and then three years later you sell the house now all of a sudden you have to pay tax on his piece that would have been free.

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Wow.

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So things like that. Looking at and evaluating pensions, you want to make sure that you get these got a pension that you're entitled to, you know, that that's calculated.

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If you are receiving child support or alimony, I want to make sure you have some life insurance.

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To protect for that payment for protect If you get two payments worth of alimony or child support and then He kicks the bucket.

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Guess what? You're SOL. And that's no good, right? You want to make sure that you're protected.

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So it's not really about being greedy or being unreasonable. It's about making sure that you are getting You understand what you're entitled to.

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Yeah.

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You understand what those resources can do for you and what your what your life's going to look like a lot of times people want to keep the family home and maybe that's not the best decision.

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Okay. Yeah.

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So as an advisor, I'm not going to tell you, you shouldn't keep the family home. I'm going to educate you about what life will look like if you do keep the family home, what life would look like if you

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Yeah.

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Got a smaller place and had more cash and resources. Maybe you could take the kids on vacation where he's taking them to Aspen.

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And you're stuck in hoops.

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Yeah. I get it. And that's one thing too Like, I don't understand sometimes why a lot of people fight to keep the family home when it's just not economically feasible. But I think that just has more to do with like an emotional attachment

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You know, it's where the kids grub or what have you. But at the same time, don't do it if you're going to be eating pork and beans for the next five years.

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Well, that's exactly right. And so I like to say that when you're going through a divorce.

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It takes a team you need a team You need your attorney.

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It takes a team.

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Yeah. Yeah.

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Okay.

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I think you need a financial person. That's not just because I'm a financial person. I think you need a financial person to have an objective perspective to be able to give you data so you can, especially if you're not comfortable in that world, right? Especially if you're not comfortable there, you need somebody to be able to articulate what life is going to look like economically

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Right.

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So you can make a good decision. And then the third thing is you probably need a therapist or a divorce coach.

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Yes. Yeah.

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So that they can help you. Not have fatigue, not have fatigue.

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Not uh meltdown into a complete pile and not be able to function, right? It's hard. Divorce is not easy.

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It is so hard. It is so hard.

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It is so hard. And you know it. You're in the middle of it. And the advice I can give you is, you know, have a team and push through because you'll be on the other side soon enough.

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Okay.

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And it'll be freedom on the other side.

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Yeah. Oh my gosh, I feel so inspired right now. And I tell you Divorce fatigue is a thing. You know, I made a decision in May 2024 that I was going to to leave my husband and that was when my oldest was graduating and we filed in september

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So we filed in September and here we are September 2024 and here we are January and I have divorce fatigue.

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Yeah.

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Like, I am tired. I am done. And again, I do this for a living i know It takes anywhere from a year Or two, to get things finalized. It just depends how what you're fighting over. And also too, like I, you know, I have an attorney.

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Because you cannot do this yourself. You need an attorney. I have a therapist. I also had a divorce coach and And I do not have a financial person on my team, though.

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But I can see because what it is, and this is what it is folks I like me personally, I cannot think clearly. And again, that's what I say, even though I don't, I do this for a living.

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When it comes to me, my emotions, I'm no different than anyone else going through a divorce. I just kind of know in the sense the steps that happen. I know how to do the paperwork.

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But emotionally and being able to make clear and rational decisions, I don't have any ability.

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And… Yeah.

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Yeah. And that's so true. Honestly, you couldn't have said that more perfectly because, you know, people think, oh, she's an attorney. She's experienced there. This isn't affecting her the same way. Well, yeah, right.

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Yeah.

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You know, you're an emotional being as well. And you get overwhelmed and you get frustrated. And when we have that heightened level of stress.

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Yeah. Yes.

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Our executive function is not on.

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And you need other people to help. Toe the line.

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Yes. Yeah, and thank you for you. And that's the real thing I talk about with my therapist too. It's just how my executive functioning just gets completely shot.

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And so in terms of the, okay, so this is what I'm thinking and bear with me because I do, I'm a verbal thought processor as well. So bear with me, everyone.

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Okay, so being a divorce attorney, right? Like I always think about, okay, what's fair and equitable? And the baseline in terms of my court system here in Washington, it's a 50 50 division of assets and debt.

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But that is always skewed based on such things as the length of the marriage, financial incomes of the parties.

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So sometimes, especially in long-term marriages where you're having a 25 year marriage and The husband makes more than the wife, the equitable distribution of assets and debts can be skewed maybe 55% to the wife, the non-money spouse, and 45% to the husband or the money spouse.

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And in my head, it's like, okay, then we do the asset and debt spreadsheet, plug it in.

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Plug in the properties, plug in the retirement accounts. And then we figure out, okay, if wife gets 55, husband gets 45, tied up in a bowl, boom, we're done.

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And you're saying, no, you need more education than that. Correct?

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Yeah.

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Well, I mean, you like you went right for the bottom line and that is true. You know, you're your listeners probably are like, what? What'd she just say? But it is true right so I think when you're the non-money party

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Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

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Knowing you're getting 55%, what does that mean? What assets do I pick? Do I take the IRAs? Do I take the house? Do I take the cash? Do I take What's the tax implications? You need to ask those questions. If I have this money.

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And I'm a super conservative investor. How much can I count on as far as income?

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You know, do I have the ability to make more income now?

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Yeah.

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Do I need to go back into the workforce and I haven't been in the workforce for 25 years?

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And… from mine.

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Is there a portion of time where you have alimony or supplemental money? There's a lot of pieces, but generally speaking, you just hit the the nail on the head in terms of the bottom line. And that's what I ask clients to get from their attorney.

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What does your attorney say you can expect? And then we work backwards.

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Yeah. Oh, okay. See, now that's a piece that I'm missing here. I have the bottom line, but I've got to like plug it all in.

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Yeah, well, we…

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And that's what I'm lacking. And that's what attorneys lack. And that's why they need you, Jennifer

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Well, I appreciate that. And not all attorneys appreciate that. And some attorneys have people who do those financial affidavits and complete them for their clients. Sometimes we do that.

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Yeah.

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But I think there's a huge psychological component to this, to my practice anyway.

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Yeah.

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Where, you know, money is really a vehicle to get you things, right? It's a vehicle to get you quality of life. It's a vehicle to get your kids educated. It's a vehicle to get you to retirement.

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Right. Right.

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It's not just about the Benjamins. It's about what is it going to do for you and how do you invest it so that it serves you.

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And your family.

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Okay. Yeah, no, I get that makes sense. And like in my head, I'm thinking about, right, like in terms of like, all right, I've got an Otis in college. I've got a youngest that's going to go to college. We've got properties, got retirements.

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Like what do, you know, I have the bottom line, but let's work backwards to see what makes sense in terms of dividing those assets and debts.

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Knowing that the biggest piece for me and my spouse is that we've got to put our boys through college.

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And how do we figure that out?

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Right.

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Yeah, I mean, let's think of this objectively, okay? So, and I don't know what the income difference is, but let's just say For simple simplification, he makes 300, you make 200.

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Okay.

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So then why not split the cost of things for your boys in that proportion.

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Hmm. Yeah.

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60 40 okay or if the if it's a big disparity, then why not negotiate that he pays all the kids college tuition?

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Yeah.

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You pay their books and what I'm making this up. I don't know, but everything's negotiable.

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Sure.

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And, you know, had you been together you know you would have been using those resources anyway for the kids college tuition.

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Yeah.

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It's not like, in fact, he's going to end up with more money in his pocket after the divorce because you're not you're not spending part of that.

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Right?

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Right. And I think this is my head too. I'm going in my head too. I think a really good piece in terms of the financial advisor is also kind of looking into that big picture consideration.

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You've got properties, you've got retirement. What can we tap into there to help pay for college as well?

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If maybe it doesn't work out financially in terms of the income. That's what I was thinking.

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But that's what you would get into.

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Yeah, well, you… Yeah, I mean, you certainly can earmark some of the assets for those resources. You know, I know you mentioned earlier before we got on that, you know, you guys have a couple of pieces of property. You might have to sell one for the

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Pay for college. Well, you could stipulate that, right? So this property we're going to sell in the next six to 12 months and all the proceeds are going to go into an account and it's going to be used for the kids college education. Anything over and above that will split it.

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70, 30, 60, 40, whatever. Or he'll pick up the difference or whatever you can negotiate.

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Yeah.

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But your boys are in college and going into college What do they say that the male brain doesn't fully develop until they're 25?

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Something like that, yeah.

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So you're still going to have your kids around needing things, right? Until they're at least 25. So how do you handle expenses when they're out of college and they're They ran up their credit card bill and they have a JOB, but it's not paying all the bills and they live in a swanky apartment and

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They're short, right? Who pays for that?

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Thank you. Oh, yeah. My oldest is all the time, hey, mom, can you order me on this on Amazon? And it's like protein powder and like curly hair gel I'm like, sure, son.

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Those damn kids.

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Right. And so, you know, I mean, I have clients and it depends on the kind of divorce you have and and how agreeable or not you are with your soon-to-be was band.

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Yeah.

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Was then. You love it. Did you just make that up?

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Wasn't. Yeah. No, no, I stole that. I stole that for sure.

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Okay. Okay. I'm going to steal that. Bye.

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It's a good one. Yeah, you use it three times. You can claim it as your own So, you know, maybe you have an account You put 400 bucks in a month and he put 600 bucks in a month and that's for the kids.

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Yeah. Yeah.

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And you pay out of that for the Amazon for the kids you know i mean

00:21:17.000 --> 00:21:22.000

Yeah. Oh my gosh, I've got to set up a meeting with you after this.

00:21:22.000 --> 00:21:25.000

I think that that would be awesome. Number one, it'll help you But number two, then you don't really understand what I do.

00:21:25.000 --> 00:21:30.000

Yeah.

00:21:30.000 --> 00:21:31.000

So can't hurt.

00:21:31.000 --> 00:21:38.000

Yeah. Yeah. No, I just love it because bottom line, but how do I get there? And, you know, I think this is like, okay, so let's go into your book.

00:21:38.000 --> 00:21:39.000

Squeeze the juice. Okay, first of all, why did you write this book?

00:21:39.000 --> 00:21:43.000

Yeah.

00:21:43.000 --> 00:21:49.000

Well, you know, it's funny earlier you said you're an attorney because you don't like to do math.

00:21:49.000 --> 00:21:54.000

I had a PR person tell me I needed to write a book and I said, I'd rather do your tax return.

00:21:54.000 --> 00:22:00.000

I don't want to write a book that I'm not, you know, I'm not an attorney. I'm not writing a book.

00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:12.000

I wrote it because I was trying to reach the right person and educate them in a way that it was comfortable for them.

00:22:12.000 --> 00:22:19.000

So, you know, a lot of it are life lessons that I got from my dad, who was an advisor.

00:22:19.000 --> 00:22:36.000

And a lot of it is experience from being doing this for such a long time, right? So squeeze the juice is about is about getting the most out of your life, out of an experience, out of a relationship with your kid, out of your marriage, out of this podcast, out of

00:22:36.000 --> 00:22:41.000

You know, a trip somewhere, whatever it is, squeeze the juice, get the best out of it.

00:22:41.000 --> 00:22:56.000

And, you know, kind of move on. But inside the book, I talk about some financial planning concepts. It's really not a hard read. For an attorney, it's going to take you an hour and a half.

00:22:56.000 --> 00:22:57.000

Hmm.

00:22:57.000 --> 00:23:01.000

You're going to read through that now that you're going through a divorce, you're probably going to make notes in the margins, which I love.

00:23:01.000 --> 00:23:02.000

Yeah. Okay.

00:23:02.000 --> 00:23:05.000

And then we can have more of a productive conversation. Well, hey, does this apply to me, right?

00:23:05.000 --> 00:23:08.000

Okay.

00:23:08.000 --> 00:23:30.000

But for the non-moneyed party, I want to assure you that it's not a super technical book. It's a book that helps you think through what you want your money to do for you and for your family so that then when you come to my office or a Zoom, you're not going, oh God, what are we going to talk about? I don't even know any of this stuff.

00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:36.000

Yes, you don't need to know any of it. You need to gather some information and then you need to know what you want.

00:23:36.000 --> 00:23:41.000

I can't make that up. I can't make up what you want in your divorce. I don't know you that well, right?

00:23:41.000 --> 00:23:42.000

Yeah.

00:23:42.000 --> 00:23:48.000

So when you can assess where you want to go and you tell me what you have.

00:23:48.000 --> 00:23:53.000

That's my job in between. And I'm going to help you get comfortable with it.

00:23:53.000 --> 00:23:54.000

Enough that you can make an educated decision.

00:23:54.000 --> 00:24:01.000

Okay. I see. And how did you come up with that title?

00:24:01.000 --> 00:24:13.000

Squeeze the juice.

00:24:13.000 --> 00:24:14.000

Right.

00:24:14.000 --> 00:24:19.000

You know, my dad would make silly comments and things. And I don't know, something about you know making lemonade out of lemons and squeezing the juice and, you know, just being, I remember him just being silly about it um

00:24:19.000 --> 00:24:26.000

And to me, it's the concept of getting the best out of an experience. Last year.

00:24:26.000 --> 00:24:35.000

My 21-year-old niece had graduated from college and She texted me from, she was being in a was an au pair in Italy. And she texted me and she said, Aunt Jenna, I've got 10 days.

00:24:35.000 --> 00:24:38.000

Okay.

00:24:38.000 --> 00:24:45.000

I'll travel anywhere. I'll go anywhere with you. Would you come travel with me? And I'm like that like I just mic drop. I'm out.

00:24:45.000 --> 00:24:46.000

Yeah.

00:24:46.000 --> 00:25:03.000

That's the juice. For me, you know, that's what life is about it's about those experiences, that meaningful connection. And so for me, that's why I do what I do is So I can have those opportunities, right? That's my, what do you want?

00:25:03.000 --> 00:25:10.000

Oh, okay. Yeah. I love that. And I love the tie in with your dad as well.

00:25:10.000 --> 00:25:11.000

That's amazing. Oh.

00:25:11.000 --> 00:25:20.000

Yeah. Well, the first chapter in the book might make you cry. I had one client who said, I was so excited. I got your book. I went to a restaurant. I ordered a salad. I sat down. I started reading and I started crying.

00:25:20.000 --> 00:25:24.000

She said, I had to get up and leave and pack my salad to go.

00:25:24.000 --> 00:25:31.000

But the purpose is to the purpose is to to get you get your attention.

00:25:31.000 --> 00:25:32.000

Right. Get your attention and get you engaged. Because it's real. It's life.

00:25:32.000 --> 00:25:37.000

Okay.

00:25:37.000 --> 00:25:39.000

And I cry easy.

00:25:39.000 --> 00:25:42.000

Okay, well, you're going to cry. I'm sorry. Yeah, just, it'll be a quickie. It'll be a quickie.

00:25:42.000 --> 00:25:51.000

Oh, no. All right. Okay, I'll read, make sure I'm not in public.

00:25:51.000 --> 00:25:55.000

Talk to us about, you mentioned in your book, The Family Love Letter.

00:25:55.000 --> 00:25:56.000

Talk to us about that. Okay.

00:25:56.000 --> 00:26:04.000

Yeah. Okay. So that's part of the crying part so You know, in my business.

00:26:04.000 --> 00:26:17.000

People who are uncomfortable talking about money get anxious about all these subjects. But it's important to Talk about what are your assets? What kind of life insurance do you have? Who's important in your life?

00:26:17.000 --> 00:26:23.000

Who are your trusted advisors? Like my family love letter for my spouse says.

00:26:23.000 --> 00:26:36.000

You know, something happens to me. You're the non-moneyed party, so you're not comfortable dealing with this stuff. Here are three people that are friends that you can bring with you.

00:26:36.000 --> 00:26:44.000

To ask questions if you don't know the questions to ask. Here are three advisors that I know, like, and trust that will take good care of you.

00:26:44.000 --> 00:26:51.000

You know, don't spend the principal only spend the earnings on the account.

00:26:51.000 --> 00:26:52.000

Don't go buy a big expensive car or a house on the water.

00:26:52.000 --> 00:26:57.000

Yeah.

00:26:57.000 --> 00:27:11.000

But you can have the income and resources you need to live your life the way we would have done it together. It also talks about what my values are. It talks about retaining assets for my nieces and nephews.

00:27:11.000 --> 00:27:31.000

So everybody's is a little bit different. And I think that writing your family love letter communicates your very essence. So if you, and I'm not going to attempt to make you cry, but it could happen. So if this were the last conversation you were to have with one of your sons, one of your boys.

00:27:31.000 --> 00:27:37.000

And you had to tell them what you hope for them.

00:27:37.000 --> 00:27:38.000

What you've learned about marriage and what you hope for them in marriage.

00:27:38.000 --> 00:27:42.000

Yeah, yeah.

00:27:42.000 --> 00:27:43.000

The kind of woman you hope would be in their life.

00:27:43.000 --> 00:27:45.000

Wow. Right.

00:27:45.000 --> 00:27:57.000

Or man. What your expectations of what your expectations of your sons are about how they maintain a relationship.

00:27:57.000 --> 00:27:58.000

Yeah.

00:27:58.000 --> 00:28:06.000

I see you breathing. What you've learned about, you know, owning a business and contributing to society and all these things.

00:28:06.000 --> 00:28:13.000

This is your essence. If that's the last conversation you had to have, there's a lot of stuff to tell them.

00:28:13.000 --> 00:28:14.000

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

00:28:14.000 --> 00:28:21.000

Right. And it's kind of intense. And my dad did that, you know, in person. He wasn't a writer.

00:28:21.000 --> 00:28:22.000

Yeah. Yeah.

00:28:22.000 --> 00:28:31.000

Oh, wow. Did you cry when your dad was telling you this?

00:28:31.000 --> 00:28:32.000

Oh. Oh, okay.

00:28:32.000 --> 00:28:38.000

Yeah, and I cry if I tell you right now. So no, I mean, that's the first chapter, right? It's um It's communicating.

00:28:38.000 --> 00:28:42.000

What your very essence is. And I have a little picture of my dad right here.

00:28:42.000 --> 00:28:43.000

Oh, oh, I love that. Oh, my God.

00:28:43.000 --> 00:28:48.000

Yeah. Yeah.

00:28:48.000 --> 00:28:49.000

Into gray.

00:28:49.000 --> 00:29:05.000

Yeah, you know. It's, to me, family is important. Family is critical. So I like to talk about what are your values? What is your very essence? Because then I can help you have your money do what you want it to do.

00:29:05.000 --> 00:29:06.000

To support your values. Yeah.

00:29:06.000 --> 00:29:11.000

Yeah. Oh my gosh, I love that. That's fabulous.

00:29:11.000 --> 00:29:18.000

I never really thought about like that having money tie in with your values.

00:29:18.000 --> 00:29:19.000

Wow. See, look at that.

00:29:19.000 --> 00:29:30.000

For sure. Think about it. What do you do with your money, right? You know, oh, I don't really… What's your very first memory of money.

00:29:30.000 --> 00:29:31.000

Allowance, right? Did you want to do more chores so you could get more?

00:29:31.000 --> 00:29:35.000

Allowance.

00:29:35.000 --> 00:29:39.000

Did you budget the money so you would make sure you had it to last?

00:29:39.000 --> 00:29:41.000

No, I spent it all. As soon as I got it.

00:29:41.000 --> 00:29:48.000

You spent it all. So you blew through it, right? Did you ever ask, like, what can I do to get more money?

00:29:48.000 --> 00:29:50.000

I don't think I did because I think I was lazy.

00:29:50.000 --> 00:30:01.000

Okay, so everybody is different, right? So that tells us things about maybe your your your perception around money.

00:30:01.000 --> 00:30:07.000

You know, my first memory of money This might not be my first, but there's plenty.

00:30:07.000 --> 00:30:15.000

But my grandfather My grandfather on my dad's side was Chinese and he had a Chinese restaurant.

00:30:15.000 --> 00:30:16.000

Hmm.

00:30:16.000 --> 00:30:21.000

So I remember being like six or seven years old in the kitchen in the Chinese restaurant, you know, I don't know.

00:30:21.000 --> 00:30:22.000

Yeah.

00:30:22.000 --> 00:30:31.000

In the back one evening. And I looked up, you know, back then you had rafters and you didn't have like in the kitchen it was unfinished the ceiling.

00:30:31.000 --> 00:30:32.000

And there was this wad of cash. Up there, right? And I'm like.

00:30:32.000 --> 00:30:37.000

Okay.

00:30:37.000 --> 00:30:44.000

You know, that's the first thing. Look at that dad he just grabbed my hand, put it down.

00:30:44.000 --> 00:30:45.000

Yeah, yeah.

00:30:45.000 --> 00:30:55.000

You know, we don't talk about that. But to me, it was all about opportunity like what do you the harder you work, you know, I like to work hard, but I like to play hard, you know, the harder you work.

00:30:55.000 --> 00:30:56.000

Yeah.

00:30:56.000 --> 00:31:00.000

The more you can squeeze the juice really You know?

00:31:00.000 --> 00:31:11.000

Ah. Oh, man. You know, and I love that title of your book too, because it really gives a good visual image as well. Like work hard, play hard, squeeze and juice.

00:31:11.000 --> 00:31:22.000

My brain can make those types of connections. And it's like, well, how do I get there? And that's why I need to talk with someone like you, because money scares me. Money terrifies me.

00:31:22.000 --> 00:31:26.000

As well. And I have no idea

00:31:26.000 --> 00:31:27.000

Yeah.

00:31:27.000 --> 00:31:36.000

Yeah. And you're not alone. And you're not alone. And here's the thing that I want to tell you and I want to tell your audience if they feel like we're talking about them.

00:31:36.000 --> 00:31:40.000

Right.

00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:41.000

Yeah.

00:31:41.000 --> 00:31:46.000

Look, it's not a matter of intellect. It's a matter of experience and aptitude. You don't have any context around which to make decisions. Like if I'm trying to get a divorce and I don't have an attorney or the experience.

00:31:46.000 --> 00:31:49.000

Sure. Yeah.

00:31:49.000 --> 00:31:56.000

I'm like, oh my God, what are we going to do? I don't know how to start. I don't know what to do. How do we get through this process? How long is it going to take? What's it cost?

00:31:56.000 --> 00:32:02.000

You know, is he going to be me and how do I make sure I pay my bills? And you're saying, calm down.

00:32:02.000 --> 00:32:03.000

Yeah. Right.

00:32:03.000 --> 00:32:10.000

It's okay, right? One thing at a time. Let me walk you through what it's going to look like. Let me tell you What we need to make sure we have in place.

00:32:10.000 --> 00:32:17.000

And it's the same thing on. You know, on my side. I want to take that anxiety out.

00:32:17.000 --> 00:32:24.000

Yeah, yeah.

00:32:24.000 --> 00:32:25.000

Hmm.

00:32:25.000 --> 00:32:31.000

And help you have a strategy and a plan So you can feel so you can sane you know you can feel sane and like, okay, it's going to be fine on the other side, you know?

00:32:31.000 --> 00:32:33.000

Yeah.

00:32:33.000 --> 00:32:36.000

It's going to be good.

00:32:36.000 --> 00:32:47.000

Yeah, you know, I love that because it doesn't have to be divorce, but any sort of big life transition, right? Your sanity is compromised. And as you mentioned, your executive function is compromised.

00:32:47.000 --> 00:32:48.000

Exactly.

00:32:48.000 --> 00:32:56.000

And that's why you need an experienced, savvy individual like yourself to carry you through that and say i got you.

00:32:56.000 --> 00:32:57.000

You know, we'll figure this out.

00:32:57.000 --> 00:33:08.000

Absolutely. Absolutely. And, you know, we both know as professionals owning businesses that there's times where we need to ask for support and help and expertise in an area.

00:33:08.000 --> 00:33:13.000

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

00:33:13.000 --> 00:33:26.000

And it's just because it's like It's a little bit like battleship. You got to try over here, try over there Oh, that makes sense. I hit that. And now I've got to, you know, now I know where I'm going.

00:33:26.000 --> 00:33:29.000

Right. Otherwise, you're just shooting in the dark.

00:33:29.000 --> 00:33:34.000

Shooting in the dark right and you know as much as I love to think I have all the answers, I don't

00:33:34.000 --> 00:33:36.000

Yeah, I mean, it's impossible to have a mom.

00:33:36.000 --> 00:33:48.000

So what are some of the key takeaways? Of from this book that you want to you know show carry across to the readers.

00:33:48.000 --> 00:33:49.000

Let the readers know. Let the listeners know and read.

00:33:49.000 --> 00:33:59.000

Sure. Right, right. Yeah. I think that we talked about, you know, basically financial planning is simple. What do you have and what do you want?

00:33:59.000 --> 00:34:00.000

So that's if you can articulate that, that's a huge step.

00:34:00.000 --> 00:34:04.000

Okay.

00:34:04.000 --> 00:34:16.000

The second thing is, is really looking at The word budget is taboo to me. I don't like to say, oh, you have to be on a budget. You have to restrict what you're doing because I'm an entrepreneur, right?

00:34:16.000 --> 00:34:21.000

I hate that word.

00:34:21.000 --> 00:34:24.000

If I want something more, if you want something more, get some more clients, right? This is… You know, make it happen.

00:34:24.000 --> 00:34:31.000

Yeah. Yeah.

00:34:31.000 --> 00:34:32.000

Okay.

00:34:32.000 --> 00:34:38.000

But you need to start somewhere. So what is your income and assets producing for you? What do you have? What are your resources coming in?

00:34:38.000 --> 00:34:48.000

And then what are your fixed expenses? You got to pay the mortgage, you got to pay for the kids education. You got to do these, you got to get the protein powder, whatever you got to get for your kid.

00:34:48.000 --> 00:34:53.000

And then what's left. Of course, that might be discretionary, right? What's left is at your discretion.

00:34:53.000 --> 00:34:54.000

Mm-hmm.

00:34:54.000 --> 00:35:09.000

Do you fund those things for your kid? Do you go on a ski weekend? Do you… buy a nicer bottle of wine. Do you go out to dinner with your girlfriends? Do you do whatever? That's your choice, right? You can also choose to take

00:35:09.000 --> 00:35:11.000

25% of that and put it away and save it for your future.

00:35:11.000 --> 00:35:17.000

Okay.

00:35:17.000 --> 00:35:18.000

Yeah.

00:35:18.000 --> 00:35:27.000

Or for travel or for something more than just today. And that's really understanding that will shift your comfort level with money.

00:35:27.000 --> 00:35:28.000

And I'm happy to offer that chapter electronically to your guests.

00:35:28.000 --> 00:35:31.000

Okay.

00:35:31.000 --> 00:35:36.000

Understanding your discretionary number.

00:35:36.000 --> 00:35:49.000

Okay, yeah, that would be great. We could include that when we do this podcast episode. And yes, I hate the word budget That's… It does. Yes, thank you.

00:35:49.000 --> 00:35:50.000

Yeah. Yeah.

00:35:50.000 --> 00:35:58.000

It feels restrictive, right? Yeah, for an entrepreneur, it feels restrictive. For an accountant, it feels very solid and comforting.

00:35:58.000 --> 00:35:59.000

So it depends on who you are.

00:35:59.000 --> 00:36:13.000

Okay. Hmm. Okay, but I do understand that it is a unnecessary evil, but I don't even want to use that word evil. It's a necessary goal or plan or objective.

00:36:13.000 --> 00:36:14.000

Right.

00:36:14.000 --> 00:36:23.000

All I would want you to, and we get you personally to this point, but all I would want you to get to And I talk about this couple in my book.

00:36:23.000 --> 00:36:26.000

They're dual income, no kids. They're my neighbors. They're very good friends.

00:36:26.000 --> 00:36:31.000

They're dinks.

00:36:31.000 --> 00:36:32.000

Yeah.

00:36:32.000 --> 00:36:41.000

They're dinks. Dual income, no kids. And they're doing great. They're making really good money. And, you know, every other weekend they're buying a new Peloton, they're ripping out a lanai, they're They're changing their kitchen. And I'm like, what are you doing? Like, you're not even you're just spending your money. You're not thinking about it.

00:36:41.000 --> 00:36:46.000

Hmm.

00:36:46.000 --> 00:36:47.000

Hmm.

00:36:47.000 --> 00:36:55.000

So I went through this discretionary number and I share with them, look, this is what you have at your discretion every month.

00:36:55.000 --> 00:36:59.000

You get to choose. What you do with that.

00:36:59.000 --> 00:37:23.000

If you want to do your lanai, fine. But what about all the other things? What about travel? What about longer planning things? What about funding your retirement? Some of that we need to go not just to immediate goals but to midterm and longer term goals. So they joke around with me like, oh, God, you're in my head when I'm at Costco.

00:37:23.000 --> 00:37:34.000

Do we need, is this a want or is this a need? You know, and so You can't unknow what you learn when you get to that place. Doesn't mean you can't do it.

00:37:34.000 --> 00:37:41.000

Just means that you'll be more mindful.

00:37:41.000 --> 00:37:42.000

Yeah, I think.

00:37:42.000 --> 00:37:49.000

Yeah. Which is not a bad thing to have to be mindful, right? And yeah, no, I like that. That makes sense. My brain can definitely wrap around mindfulness.

00:37:49.000 --> 00:37:55.000

So tell us what's your favorite story or section in this book.

00:37:55.000 --> 00:38:10.000

Um… I mean, I really like the love letters. I start with that and I end with that. So I start with my dad's love letter because it gives you context around who I am and kind of where I come from.

00:38:10.000 --> 00:38:16.000

And it gives you an idea of how you can take care of your people, your family, whatever that looks like to you.

00:38:16.000 --> 00:38:28.000

And then I walk you through mine at the end. And I kind of side note it and say, okay, well, you know, I have this much life insurance and this is why there's different kinds and here's why I chose this.

00:38:28.000 --> 00:38:44.000

And so it helps you look at it more pragmatically. So that's kind of, that's really, that's the juice for me of the of the book, the financial concepts are You know, things I've been doing for 26, 29 years.

00:38:44.000 --> 00:38:47.000

And where can people order your book?

00:38:47.000 --> 00:38:52.000

Sure. We have a website called squeeze thejuicebook.com so you can order it there.

00:38:52.000 --> 00:39:06.000

I also have a bunch of media and videos that You can learn some of these concepts I go over. Financial planning is simple. Your discretionary number, building your machine.

00:39:06.000 --> 00:39:31.000

All these things. So if you want to grab the juice of the book, that's where you can hear it Yeah, and I like to offer, I mean, if your listeners Hopefully we've stimulated some thought and they're feeling less anxious, but maybe we didn't answer their specific financial question. If they have one and they want

00:39:31.000 --> 00:39:44.000

Have a squeeze the juice call, complimentary 15 minute, no cost, no obligation call. I'll give you the Calendly link for that and they can just schedule and I'll have a chat with them and hopefully answer their question and answer their question

00:39:44.000 --> 00:39:52.000

Yeah, that's amazing. That's wonderful. And can they also get your, I think, is your book available on Amazon or no?

00:39:52.000 --> 00:39:53.000

Oh, okay. Wow. Okay.

00:39:53.000 --> 00:40:05.000

It is. Sure. Yeah. Either way, it gets to me and then it gets to you.

00:40:05.000 --> 00:40:06.000

Yep.

00:40:06.000 --> 00:40:15.000

Well, I actually, and you know, talking to you right now, I actually have a friend going through a divorce and she's the non-money spouse hasn't worked in 30 years I'm going to order a copy of the book for her and tell her to contact you because I think she'd really kind of benefit in terms of um

00:40:15.000 --> 00:40:17.000

Just planning like where do you go from here

00:40:17.000 --> 00:40:23.000

Yeah. We should have a study group with you and your best friend.

00:40:23.000 --> 00:40:36.000

Oh my gosh. Yeah. Study group, right? Gosh, oh, so this is going to be, yeah. Okay. So in terms of meeting with you and having a financial advisor and, you know, we work out a plan.

00:40:36.000 --> 00:40:50.000

You helped me go through the divorce. So after that, how often would people need to meet with you like on a quarterly basis, an annual basis? What do you suggest?

00:40:50.000 --> 00:40:51.000

Okay.

00:40:51.000 --> 00:41:06.000

That's a great question. So it really, you know, it depends, right? So if you If you are somebody who has a small retirement plan and You just need a strategy for the year and direction on what to do in your plan at work.

00:41:06.000 --> 00:41:08.000

Okay.

00:41:08.000 --> 00:41:18.000

Once a year and then call me when Hey, I changed my job. Hey, I got an inheritance. Hey, I'm getting married. Hey, whatever. Some big change that's once a year.

00:41:18.000 --> 00:41:21.000

Somebody who has assets that we're managing assets managing the investment vehicle.

00:41:21.000 --> 00:41:25.000

Mm-hmm.

00:41:25.000 --> 00:41:33.000

We offer those meetings quarterly. I will say there's probably 2% who meet with us quarterly.

00:41:33.000 --> 00:41:44.000

Doesn't mean that you… you know you're not entitled to that because you absolutely are. But in those cases where we're doing advisory and we're doing planning we're meeting.

00:41:44.000 --> 00:41:57.000

At least twice a year to review what are your goals? What are we trying to accomplish, all those But we're also talking periodically throughout the year. Hey, Jennifer, I'm thinking, should I refinance my mortgage? Hey, you know, my son's going to college.

00:41:57.000 --> 00:42:02.000

And I need to take some money out of one of my accounts. Which account should I take? What's the tax impact?

00:42:02.000 --> 00:42:03.000

Oh.

00:42:03.000 --> 00:42:16.000

So whatever's happening, we're having discussions. If it's around money. If it's around those kind, should I take a job, right? Sometimes my clients will consult me about that.

00:42:16.000 --> 00:42:26.000

In fact, I talk about it in the book one specific client As an example, if you're thinking about taking a job in a different state.

00:42:26.000 --> 00:42:27.000

Mm-hmm.

00:42:27.000 --> 00:42:37.000

But oh, it's so much more money. Okay, but it's california what's the cost of living in comparison to Iowa, right? So yeah, it's more money, but what's it going to cost you to live there? So let's compute it out.

00:42:37.000 --> 00:42:39.000

Yeah.

00:42:39.000 --> 00:42:51.000

And then do you want to live in California? Let's talk about, you know, where is your family? Where are all your friends? Is it a huge opportunity? All these things.

00:42:51.000 --> 00:42:52.000

Oh.

00:42:52.000 --> 00:42:59.000

Anything that involves financial therapy or those decisions, you know, that's usually when my clients will call me.

00:42:59.000 --> 00:43:00.000

I love that. Yeah.

00:43:00.000 --> 00:43:14.000

And then as far as like the process of going through the divorce process, I like to look at it as it's financial triage, right? It's it's just Let's assess, let's evaluate, let's make decisions.

00:43:14.000 --> 00:43:23.000

And get you through that divorce process. And then after that, you decide, hey, do you want to work with me to help you manage those assets? That's your decision.

00:43:23.000 --> 00:43:28.000

And then we help you map out that plan and make it work.

00:43:28.000 --> 00:43:35.000

So you said it, so it's about, I just want to make sure I capture this assess, evaluate.

00:43:35.000 --> 00:43:38.000

And manage the financial decisions through the divorce. Did I say it correctly assess evaluate and manage.

00:43:38.000 --> 00:43:43.000

Yes.

00:43:43.000 --> 00:43:49.000

Okay. My brain is trying to register with that right now. Assess, evaluate, and manage.

00:43:49.000 --> 00:43:50.000

Oh my gosh. Yeah. I'm just, oh, I learned so much from you, Jennifer. I love this.

00:43:50.000 --> 00:43:54.000

Yeah.

00:43:54.000 --> 00:44:03.000

Oh my goodness. Any final last words or thoughts you want to impart to our listeners out there?

00:44:03.000 --> 00:44:12.000

I would just tell them not to be scared that they know more than they think they know, right? You probably personally feel a little bit more empowered than you did when we first started around your money.

00:44:12.000 --> 00:44:13.000

Because you know your stuff and you might know what you want.

00:44:13.000 --> 00:44:17.000

I do.

00:44:17.000 --> 00:44:21.000

Right? So that's half the battle. So don't be scared about it.

00:44:21.000 --> 00:44:34.000

You need to have the right partner who's not going to pepper you with jargon and You know, people come in and they already feel like I don't know enough.

00:44:34.000 --> 00:44:35.000

Yeah.

00:44:35.000 --> 00:44:43.000

It's okay, right? You're an intelligent being. I'm here to educate you. I'm here to give you context so that you can make good decisions.

00:44:43.000 --> 00:44:44.000

Don't be scared of us. We're not that scary.

00:44:44.000 --> 00:44:56.000

Yeah. Oh my gosh. But I think that really captures it um you provide the context to help us make good decisions about money.

00:44:56.000 --> 00:45:02.000

And going through the life transition. So I think that's fabulous.

00:45:02.000 --> 00:45:19.000

I like to always ask, I always like to end the podcast with this What is, can you tell us something about yourself that an average person wouldn't know just from like looking at your website or looking at your bio. What is a fun fact that we wouldn't know about you?

00:45:19.000 --> 00:45:28.000

Oh, you wouldn't know that I am very creative. I love to make make jewelry.

00:45:28.000 --> 00:45:29.000

Oh.

00:45:29.000 --> 00:45:39.000

Yeah, and yeah, you wouldn't know that I, that I, you know, for years my I think I started making jewelry when I was like seven or something. I'm 54. So it's been a long time.

00:45:39.000 --> 00:45:43.000

Oh.

00:45:43.000 --> 00:45:53.000

And my nieces, as they were growing up, they would send me pictures and say, Aunt Jen, should I buy this? And I'd say, oh, no, no, no, honey, we can make that. And I buy all the stuff.

00:45:53.000 --> 00:45:54.000

Yeah.

00:45:54.000 --> 00:46:02.000

And go to their house and we'd make, you know, 50 of these items and then they give them to all their friends and then the next picture would come and say, and Jen, should I buy this or can we make it?

00:46:02.000 --> 00:46:06.000

Okay.

00:46:06.000 --> 00:46:08.000

Yeah, so…

00:46:08.000 --> 00:46:11.000

So look for possible Etsy shop in the future.

00:46:11.000 --> 00:46:14.000

No, no, no, I only do it out of love and economics for them. It's no.

00:46:14.000 --> 00:46:20.000

Okay. Wait, are you?

00:46:20.000 --> 00:46:21.000

Did you make any of the jury you have on like your earrings?

00:46:21.000 --> 00:46:23.000

No Etsy shop.

00:46:23.000 --> 00:46:40.000

So this necklace I designed So a number of years ago, I… I was at a business conference and we had a icebreaker and you were supposed to tell the people at your table something you've always wanted to do.

00:46:40.000 --> 00:46:48.000

But you haven't done and why? So I said, well, I've always wanted to have my own jewelry studio.

00:46:48.000 --> 00:46:59.000

Like in my house and I haven't done it because I haven't lit a torch since I was 18 and I don't know the proper safety things and I don't remember all the details of how to do it.

00:46:59.000 --> 00:47:07.000

So after that conference. I looked up jewelry classes in my area and took one.

00:47:07.000 --> 00:47:08.000

And met the teacher and we became friends and I designed this necklace and she made it.

00:47:08.000 --> 00:47:13.000

Yeah. Yeah.

00:47:13.000 --> 00:47:14.000

He did. Okay.

00:47:14.000 --> 00:47:17.000

So I helped her make it but i helped her make it Yeah, so she made it. It's beautiful. She's uh Fantastic.

00:47:17.000 --> 00:47:25.000

It's a gorgeous silver necklace, folks.

00:47:25.000 --> 00:47:26.000

I love it. Yeah.

00:47:26.000 --> 00:47:38.000

Yeah. Well, I mean, I said, I want something that's like, and actually I did it i made them for my nieces too. I said, you know, I want something for Kate's graduation, for Emma's birthday And I want it to be unique, like a Tiffany weight, but I don't want it to be pedestrian, so.

00:47:38.000 --> 00:47:42.000

That's what it looks like. It kind of looks like almost like a Tiffany weight type of necklace.

00:47:42.000 --> 00:47:43.000

Okay, now you have to get onto YouTube so you can see what we're talking about.

00:47:43.000 --> 00:47:46.000

Yeah. No.

00:47:46.000 --> 00:47:59.000

Well, Jennifer, this has just been an absolute pleasure. You are wonderful. You are so easy to talk to. And this is what I love, folks. She is so relatable.

00:47:59.000 --> 00:48:06.000

That I have the utmost confidence that she's really going to help you understand money.

00:48:06.000 --> 00:48:15.000

And what you need to do to get you to that, to get you to reach your financial goals and objective.

00:48:15.000 --> 00:48:16.000

It was an absolute pleasure.

00:48:16.000 --> 00:48:21.000

Again, thank you so much, Jennifer, for coming on. And again, what's the best way for people to get a hold of you if they have questions? I would like to work with you.

00:48:21.000 --> 00:48:32.000

So they can go to my website, modern-wealth.com or my Calendly is Jennifer Modern Wealth.

00:48:32.000 --> 00:48:33.000

And, you know, just it'll say on there, squeeze the juice call and you can just schedule one if you want.

00:48:33.000 --> 00:48:36.000

Okay.

00:48:36.000 --> 00:48:52.000

Or you can email me, whatever's your pleasure.

00:48:52.000 --> 00:48:53.000

Thank you.

00:48:53.000 --> 00:49:01.000

Amazing. And we'll be sure to have those links when this podcast episode goes up, folks, so you can get a hold of Jennifer Lee, L-E-E yourself. So again, thank you so much, Jennifer And to all the listeners out there, thank you again for joining us on another episode on the Family Law Divorce podcast of Occione Law.

00:49:01.000 --> 00:49:04.000

And until next time. Be well.

00:49:04.000 --> 00:49:12.000

Okay.