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The Need For Approval: Part 1

Coffee With Hilary and Les from State of Mind Hypnosis and Training Centre

Coffee With Hilary and Les from State of Mind Hypnosis and Training Centre
The Need For Approval: Part 1
May 11, 2026 Season 4 Episode 57
Hilary & Les

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We talk about approval as a learned addiction that quietly trains us to trade our self-worth for other people’s reactions. We use family stories, social media examples, and a parenting study to separate appreciation from identity and move toward self-acceptance. 
• approval as something we try to control through other people’s responses 
• how childhood emotional gaps create a habit of external validation 
• the mismatch between how we want approval and how others show it 
• worth feeling conditional on behavior and becoming a self-regulation system 
• dopamine hits that reinforce people pleasing and performance 
• dropping blame by seeing “programs” passed down with good intentions 
• the protective part that seeks disapproval to justify old pain 
• how roles like “the cook” become identity through praise 
• confidence as peaceful self-trust rather than swagger or self-promotion 
• why reading comments can magnify disapproval and shrink joy 
• using observations instead of praise or criticism to support creativity 
• turning the need for approval into connection and collaboration 


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