The Martian review

The movie adaptation of Andy Weir’s novel, “Project Hail Mary” is a big box office hit. However, the first movie adaptation of a Andy Weir novel, that was a big box office hit, was “The Martian” starring Matt Damon in 2015. That’s what I’m retro reviewing this week. Damon plays astronaut/botanist Mark Watney, who’s part of a NASA mission on Mars. His team has to suddenly evacuate Mars and Mark is killed, or so his crew thinks. Surprise! He’s alive and the movie becomes all about the mission to save Mark. Is it worth finding out what happens next enough to watch this? Find out on this episode of Movies Merica Live! “The Martian” also stars Jessica Chastain, Michael Pena, Chiewetel Ejiofor, Jeff Daniels, Kate Mara, Kristen Wiig, Sebastian Stan, Sean Bean, Aksel Hennie, Benedict Wong, Mackenzie Davis and Donald Glover. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

This week's movie, The Martian, could have simply been titled Oops, as an Oops, we left one of our astronauts behind on Mars. My bad. Upon further reflection, I'm glad they went with the Martian, though. Now I'm retro reviewing this movie because many people love it. And because the plot includes growing potatoes on Mars with human feces. Can't beat that, right? So let's get on with my metro review, or retro review rather, of this turds for Tainers space epic on this episode of Movies America Live. And I, as always, am your humble host, Van Ebert, otherwise known as Movies America. And I want to thank all my movie maniacs and my fellow freedom-fueled film fanatics out there, you know, the ones that just can't shut up about movies after they watch a movie right there. You know, the guys or gals that want to talk about movies, and then, you know, whoever they're talking to or like, shut up. My God, it was just a movie. All right, can we go to IHOP now? You know, like, you know, if you're that person, like I'm that person, or I'm the guy who just will not stop yapping about a movie, you know, usually when they're good, then yes, uh, you are home. All right. Put your feet up, kick back, relax, grab yourself a brewski right here. It's Movies America Live Time here uh right now. Okay, so hey, and if you maybe you're watching like uh, you know, March Madness basketball or something like that, you know, like, hey, you know, hit pause on it for like 15 minutes, you know. That way, hey, you can uh, you know, go back to it after 15 minutes, you can fast forward through all those annoying commercials, because you know, how many times can you watch the same Capital One commercial with Charles Barclay and Samuel L. Jackson, right? You know, like it just gets gets so annoying, right? So you want to uh you don't want to go through all that stuff right there. But uh, but yeah, again, we're talking about uh the Martian here, and so let's get right into it. And so this movie is, of course, directed by Ridley Scott, and Ridley Scott is a legendary director, okay. I mean, the guy only made Alien and Blade Runner and Blackhawk Down and Gladiator. I mean, I could go on and on, uh, all the movies he's made there. And so, uh, and then you know, he came out with The Martian in in 2015, and this was a real uh departure for him here. I had never really seen a movie that was like this, you know, like this kind of um happy, go lucky and hopeful from Ridley Scott's. It's kind of a like an inspirational, uh very um, very uh not approachable there. I guess approachable, yeah, an approachable movie because usually Ridley Scott, like the vast majority of his movies are R-rated and they're R-rated for a reason. He usually got some pretty, you know, pretty explicit violence and cursing and all that in it. So, but this one is like a good movie where hey, I can I can take my family, I can take the kids, you know, I could, you know, take all the urchins here and spend 500 bucks at the movies because you know it costs like 18, 20 bucks a person uh to go to the movies nowadays, all right. But uh, but yeah, he he directed this one, and uh man, did he have a cast in this movie? I mean, like Matt Damon, uh Jessica Chastain, Michael Paina, Kate Mara, Jeff Daniels. Um, you know, I mean he had like uh She Would Sell Edge of For, which I've I'm I I can't I can't I can't be positive I'm pronouncing that name correctly right there. That is a name and a half. Uh you know, yeah, you've got uh Sean Bean. Hey, you've got Ned uh, you know, Ned Ned Stark uh in this movie. I was about to say Ned Flanders. I know, never. Uh but yeah, I got Ned Stark and his bad boy. Uh you got, you know, uh what uh what's that uh uh B.D. Wong, Benedict Wong. I'm gonna I'm getting my Wongs wrong here, okay. Just a hell of a cast in this movie, and they all just sink off each other's just so well in the Martian. And this movie is, I mean, it's it's got drama in it, but it's also really funny uh in this movie, and it also gets you involved, and essentially, just in case you haven't seen it here, I'll kind of I'll go over the plot in very broad strokes, very briefly here, okay? I because I know that, I mean, probably most people that are watching this have seen The Martian, so they don't care if I drop spoilers, but I'm still gonna try not to drop spoilers because there is a chance that someone hasn't seen this movie. I mean, it doesn't, it's not, it doesn't have the Marvel logo on it, it doesn't have the DC logo, it doesn't have Star Wars on it. Uh so a lot of people may not have seen this movie here. I mean, it was the number one box office hit the first week and it came out back in 2015. So, but it's been a while, right? And so, yeah, the plot of this is essentially we've got this NASA crew, they're on Mars, they're on a mission. Suddenly, this big, you know, hurricane windstorm comes by, and and the and the team cap or the you know, the yeah, the mission team captain is like, hey, we gotta we gotta evacuate out of here. Uh Matt Damon's character, Mark Watney, you know, he's going out to the ship with them. Uh he gets hit with some debris from the high winds. It's all dark, they can't find him. And, you know, the the pilot of the ship's like, hey man, we all got to leave right now because this wind is about to tip this ship over. Uh we can either all stay here and die and look for Mark, or we can all, you know, we can get the ship and we can save the rest of us. And, you know, unfortunately, Mark Watney, you know, he's he, you know, he'll be the one dead, right? So, well, they all take off, and then whoa, lo and behold, hey, uh, you know what, uh, this is not a spoiler because it's in there, it's it's in a trailer. It's what the whole plots about, hey, Mark Watney's not dead. Okay, and so uh this movie becomes Mark Watney, Mad Damon's character, trying to survive on Mars, uh, you know, for what, four or five years. And of course, you're on Mars, millions and millions and millions of light years away from your home there. Uh, it doesn't, you know, it's not exactly like you know, taking a trip down, you know, to your local gas engulfing it's right around the corner. I mean, we're talking about Earth to Mars, okay? A little smidge of distance right there, a little smidge, okay, right there. And so he's got to try to like make food last uh for four or five years, however long it is. Uh, you know, he's he's basically got to try to make sure that uh you know the Mars atmosphere doesn't freeze him to death, okay, uh, because you can't breathe on the in on Mars' atmosphere. You basically it's it's you know the temperatures get like uh what a hundred degrees below zero there. And so basically Mark Watney's trying to survive. And then back on Earth, NASA and the big wings at NASA are trying to, you know, uh work together uh with the astronauts that are up, you know, still in space as his team, all together to try to rescue Mark Watney there. So it's you know, it's a good old-fashioned kind of rescue, not kind of, it's a rescue movie there. It's fantastic uh there. So and I'm gonna give up the ghost right off the bat. I mean, I love this movie. Um it's it's one of my all-time uh favorite movies. It's fantastic. It's chef's kiss, my friends. It's fantastic. And so I'm gonna, I'm not even gonna wait till the end with my final thoughts on this movie. I'm gonna just tell you right from the jump, hey, go see this movie here and uh and enjoy yourself and watch it with whoever you want, because this movie is just fine for everybody uh to watch. You can set your three-year-old in front of this movie, and they can watch. Well, your three-year-old's probably gonna fall asleep to this movie, so but anyway, but you know, you get my point there. So uh all right, let's uh move on with the show. All right, and of course, we have plenty more of The Martian to talk about. And I gotta say, I love movies where the plot revolves around an honorable objective involving the whole world rooting for that objective to be achieved. I mean, it's like a it's a feel-good, a feel-good movie, a feel-good film. Disaster movies where a crew is sent to try to stop the disaster are perfect examples of this. I mean, think Deep Impact, think Armageddon, okay. Another, another movie like this that's not a disaster movie, but like Apollo 13, right? The whole world is open, you know, hoping and yearning for the safety of the Apollo 13, uh, you know, astronauts coming back there in Apollo 13. So and the plot of the Martian embodies this type of movie totally. I mean, you have the whole world, regardless of political preference, military conflict, rooting for no, no, no, no, no, not rooting for yearning for the rescue of American, American astronaut Mark Watney. And even though, you know, even the Chinese get involved with rescuing him. I mean, and I like this inspirational video made, you know, just for the movie about everyone banding together in for a Mark Watney or in for Mark Watney's survival. So this is just like a viral video that was made uh for the movie The Martian here.

SPEAKER_04 10:13

I've always thought about how much more we can learn if we just dare to go farther.

SPEAKER_02 10:21

People around the world are battling behind one simple and bearing the ocean. Bring it.

SPEAKER_01 11:51

I remember when I went and saw this at the theater, and uh at the end of the movie, man, there was not a dry eye in in the theater there. So, but uh but Matt Damon, you know, does a masterful job at making you care about his Mark Watney character. I mean, I mean Matt Damon's been, you know, doing this acting thing for a while. I mean, it's it's been a while, you know, since uh we heard him say, Hey, how you like them apples? You know, remember that? Yeah, goodwill, honey. It's been a while, okay, since uh he was in that uh movie there. So uh, you know, Matt Damon, you know, as the Mark Watney character, he's funny, he's relatable, he's enderingly intelligent, and he's emotionally vulnerable, and he shows that during events and situations where we can relate to his emotional reaction in those moments. You know, he's never too good to not bust balls with the rest of the of his crew and then get his balls busted in return. Ironically, you know, in a bro code kind of way, it shows that there's a mutual love, you know, between him and and his crew. And of course, the ultimate evidence of that is his crew not hesitating for a second to extend their time in space enough to go back and rescue Mark. I mean, they extend their time in space for what, almost two years, something like that. Um, you know, they they delay reuniting with their families and all that. Um, and I mean uh it's only right. I mean, they did just leave him on Mars, so you know, they owe him. You know, like leaving one of your kids back at home and going on vacation to Paris for Christmas. That sounds like a fantastic idea for a hit Christmas movie. Yeah, that just sounds funny. Leaving one of your kids back at home while you go on a Christmas trip? Hmm, interesting. There you go. I'm gonna I gotta I gotta start writing a script uh based on that. That's what I'm talking about. There we go. All right, we have got some more. Uh, the Martian to talk about here, of course, right there, because that's what you guys are here for. Um, real quick here, I just want to remind you the live chat is available, okay? So if you're sitting there, if you're watching the show live right now, and you're like, God, this is boring, man. What the hell? You know, I wish this was more interactive. Hey, get in the live chat and tell me you think this show is boring, okay? Uh, you know, get in the live chat and say, hey, Van, perk some stuff up, man. Let's let's make this more excitable, all right? Like I want to see some fireworks. You know, I want to hear some, you know, I want to see uh, you know, you know, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Monster Truck Rally. I'm gonna I want you to get more enthused, you know, uh all that. I mean, you know, can you smell what the rock is cooking? You know, like all this. I mean, if you want me to like go all, you know, just emphatically excited like that, hey, let me know in the live chat. But I'm not gonna do it until you let me know. So this is what you get until you let me know in the live chat. And I can't hold your hand and direct in the live chat. You gotta go there yourself, right there. Or if you want to try to throw me off of whatever game I think I have, if you want to distract me in the live chat and completely throw me off my little, you know, my my my little itinerary I have here for the show, by all means go ahead and do that in the live chat on Rumble or YouTube. All right. So let's talk more The Martian. And I gotta say it's a smidge weird to see a Ridley Scott space movie that doesn't feature aliens that'll literally rip your face off, okay? And that's when they're not bursting through your chest, okay? Those are not, those are not friendly aliens. Those are not uh the ET uh, you know, uh, you know, Rocky from, you know, uh Project Hail Mary kind of friendly uh, you know, aliens right there. No, those are the ones that just literally basically just split your right in half. That's the kind of aliens I'm used to seeing in Ridley Scott movies, but but not this one right here. And to Ridley's credit, he's done a complete 180 in contrast to his alien films and created a inspirational, entertaining, emotional, rousing, and scientific movie, you know, if uh, you know, for all you all you need. Okay, all right. And he's demonstrating that he is a well-rounded director. I mean, just do this. Just like do a little uh have a have a big film festival right there in your house, a little movie, a little movie uh spree there. Just watch Alien and then Blade Runner, and then Thelma and Louise, then Gladiator, then Matchstick Men, and then The Martian. Now, if doing that doesn't get it through your head that he's a renaissance man of a director, there's no hope for you. All right, I I can't, I don't know what to I don't know what to tell you. I can't there's no help for you, man. I can't, there's no pill that'll cure what's ailing you there, that's for sure. However, there's hope for Mark Watney in The Martian, and Ridley Scott constantly throughout the whole movie, masterfully makes that the core of this movie. You know, also his movies always just look sensational, don't they? I mean, just beautiful, just gorgeous, you know. And he's got his longtime director of photography, Darius Wolski or Volsky, uh, with him on the Martian too, and it shows. I mean, the imagery, it looks so crisp, you know, like a like a freshly opened, you know, you know, uh little tube of you know of a Pringles, you know, Pringles chips right there. So it's so crisp, so tasty and slick and detailed in a you are there kind of way. You know, the color palettes are first rate and stylish and eye-popping. It's amazing. Wolski or Volski uh wasn't even nominated for a best cinematography Oscar uh the year this movie came out here. Now, what was nominated for an Oscar for The Martian are the impressive visual effects, but ultimately, sadly, the Martian lost out to X Machinau, which I gotta hand it to X Machinau. They do uh there's there's some pretty good visual effects uh there in X Machina there. And even though there was plenty of love for you know from critics and movie audiences for The Martian, there was no love lost by the Oscar voters for The Martian. I mean, they are famously, famously, you know, stuck up, they famously look down their nose at most sci-fi movies. If it's not like a a war drama starring a black lesbian quadrupegic who uh leads the fight against a bunch of evil white people, uh your movie's gonna have an uphill climb to win an Oscar. Now, what I just described, now that's Oscar Gold. There you go. Um and the Martian, it had seven Oscar nominations. I mean, it did get some Oscar nominations, it had seven of them and won none of them. God. Those Oscar voters. Now, Ridley Scott didn't even get nominated for best director to add on to that, just to completely keep piling on. I mean, he hasn't been nominated for best director for any movie since Blackhawk Down. I mean, back in what, 2001, 2002, somewhere around there. Uh, and he's he's never he's never won best director. I mean, believe it or not. So uh, and I mean he provides, you know, great direction for uh for actors.

SPEAKER_00 19:29

Capcom, go.

SPEAKER_04 19:31

There was a scripted moment when the character was supposed to break down, and when we got to it, we felt forced. And Ridley and I kind of looked at each other and we're like, this doesn't feel right, does it?

SPEAKER_02 19:39

Remote command.

SPEAKER_04 19:41

Go. We'd shot stuff with the other actors months earlier, but they'd all gone home. And Ridley and I had made all those scenes just together where it was just me on camera.

SPEAKER_00 19:50

Recovery. Go.

SPEAKER_04 19:52

And so suddenly I heard in my helmet, as the gimbal starts to shutter as if this thing is gonna take off, and the light effects start to happen, and like, and you really feel like you're about to kind of take off. And suddenly I heard the voices of all of these actors who were my buddies, you know. Secondary recovery. Go. And it dawned on me, you know, thinking through the kind of the filter of this character, like he hadn't heard a voice in a year, and that these people had made this sacrifice to come back for him.

SPEAKER_00 20:19

Pilot.

unknown 20:21

Go.

SPEAKER_04 20:22

It just totally happened and it wasn't planned. That's just great directing. That's ridley just kind of put a move on me. I didn't see it coming.

SPEAKER_01 20:30

Yeah, I mean, and I I the only thing I can think of with Ridley Scott why he doesn't get, you know, he doesn't win now for best director, is he is he's kind of crusty. He's kind of, you know, moody and you know, crotchety there. And so part of winning an Oscar is campaigning for it and you know, and smooching the left, you know, the right butt cheeks there, you know. So I don't think he is really down to do that. I'm sure like some of the studios he's made movies for are have are like, hey, Ridley, come on, man, put some chapstick, pucker up, and uh, you know what, just just grin and bear it, man. There you go. All right. Uh he's like, uh-uh, nope, not gonna do it. All right. Uh these lips will not beat the buttocks of any Oscar voters, that's for sure. So to put it crudely, I should say, right there. But uh what really I think what he needs to do is I think he needs to do a Paul Thomas Anderson and make a movie that checks off every leftist fantasy plot point to win a best director Oscar. I mean, it's just one battle after another for poor old Ridley here. I mean, what uh the poor guy is going through hell, I tell you. Hell, I tell you. So there you go. But uh, real quick here, uh, you know, I'm getting thirsty, and I've got this beer over here to my left uh giving me the uh, you know, the side eye over here, going, hey, aren't you gonna talk about me, man? Come on, these people want to know about uh this brew. And you know what? I'm all about giving the people what they want. Want. So let's let's get right into a little brew review time. All right. Let me uh introduce you to today's beer. And uh, we're all about truth, we're all about action, and we're all about truth and action. India pale ale right there. Let me get a better grip on that bad boy because I do not want to spill this on my keyboard. That would be um bad. Okay, there we go. But uh yeah, Truth and Action IPA. Uh, it's uh brewed by Central Waters Brewing Company, and it's uh known for its classic bitter and dry profile here. I mean, it is an IPA, it's an India pale ale. You know, they're known for a lot of hops there, especially if you drink a you know a double IPA or a double bock uh or doppelbox is what they're called. Uh they're IPAs. Anytime you hear India pale ale, just think hops right there. So think bitter, uh, but in a good way, okay. If you are an IPA fan, I like IPAs. I, you know, my palate enjoys the bitter taste because it recognizes uh it recognizes that it's a good bitter taste, all right, because it's combined with a bunch of other stuff uh there, you know, such as uh, you know, hops like citra and mandarina, bavaria, and mosaic hops right there. So so yeah, you've got the hops and uh and and and all of that uh mixed in uh with uh you know just other flavor notes like citrusy grapefruit notes, and also uh some people say that it's got like this you know light cracker-like uh finish, you know, a cracker please, right? So and it's got a nice, got some nice malt character to it and a light finish as well. And it does pour with like a dense head. It's got this you know, uh, dense head, obviously, you know, the bubbles at the top, obviously, in case there's uh some people in here like uh did you just say head? Uh yeah, I'm referring to beer head. It didn't sound very good either. So um that sounds like something you get done to you in the middle of a brewery. Uh the head, the when it sort of pours a beer and you got the bubbles up at the top, that's what I'm referring to. There we go. And uh that is dense on a uh on a truth and action IPA here. So and uh and it's got a slight haze to the color of the beer from a double dry hopping process. But you know, you guys really don't care about like you know what it looks like, right? You care about like what it tastes like, right? And yeah, it's got uh like it's you know, like I said before, it's got you know the grapefruit notes in it, very citrusy here, and that combined with the bitterness makes the bitterness tolerable. And it just makes this overall uh you know a well-rounded beer here. So obviously as you can tell, I'm recommending uh this beer, the truth in action, okay? I'm giving you some truth in action uh by telling you the truth about this beer and telling you that, yeah, you should pick some of this up right there. And uh, you know, just uh, you know, in case, you know, or just to give you some ideas as far as how you can get your hands on this beer here, uh, you can go to like the open bar app on your phone. Uh, it's available like on both iOS and Android. If the beer is available in your area, you can call up Uber Eats or you know, use Uber Eats app, call up Uber Eats. And uh, you know, Uber Eats, they deliver not just grub, they deliver booze as well. If you are in an area that's nowhere, nowhere near an area where truth and action is available, we could go uh to a website like gopuff.com, puff as in puffin' your bong or puff the magic dragon, right? And uh they specialize in delivering beer that's not your area to anywhere uh in the world, okay? So if you're in you know Bangladesh and you want a beer that's brewed in Wisconsin, then hey, uh, you know, uh yeah, get on gopuff.com and uh you'll get that Wisconsin beer delivered to you. It's gonna cost us some scratch, though. I I will tell you that. But you will get it in your hand, all right? So but uh and this beer also comes to us uh at uh an IPA uh level. Well, not an IPA level, an ABV level, alcohol by volume, of 71. So uh yeah, it's got a uh you know a not mild ABV there, but that's you know, ABVs are typically a little higher for IPAs and all that stuff. But anyway, enough about me just yapping and talking and describing a beer here. I'm gonna take a good old uh drink off this thing because uh, I mean that's what matters most. How's it taste, right? So to that end. Excellent. Excellent, right there. I'm gonna set that bad boy down right there. But yeah, so I'm giving it my personal endorsement here. Uh I can see it going down real smooth, you know, when you're in the middle of a lake on a hot July day on a bass boat, you know, you're casting out your line, and you know, you're like, God, we're not, nothing's biting, man. Well, when that happens, you might as well just get pissed drunk on your boat. Okay. Um, but uh, hey, don't boat, don't boat and drink, though. Okay, don't drink and boat. All right, so don't do that. But hey, you know, if you're the uh not the designated boater, is that a thing? Uh hey, get hammered out of your gourd to, you know, to uh soak up that depression from you know the fish not biting. All right, there you go. So that's allowed right there. And uh who knows, you know, this but I would I could see this being a good beer for that occasion, or you know, sitting on your deck, you know, after you just got done mowing your yard. You just you know you're taking a well-earned break or something like that. So yeah, so check out uh yeah, the old truth and action IPA there from uh Central Waters Brewing Company there. All right. But uh, you know what? Uh I think it's time to wrap up this brew, review time. All right, and now some random thoughts uh about the Martian. And I'm sure some all of you are like, thank God is getting back to the Martian, because that's why I'm here, all right. And my first random thought about the Martian is The Martian is such an event movie, okay? And it just seems grandiose and immense. And what helps in it giving that impression is the dynamic movie score by frequent Ridley Scott musical collaborator, Harry Gregson Williams. Now he collaborated even more actually with Ridley's brother Tony on movies like Spy Game, Unstoppable, Deja Vu, and Enemy of the State, just to name a few there. Um and unfortunately, uh we lost uh Tony Scott there back in what, 2010, uh, because yeah, he offed himself. He unaligned himself by get this jumping off a bridge. Yes. Uh, which I didn't know the guy personally, but just from a guy from uh, you know, afar off uh there, uh, you know, he made great movies, and it just didn't seem like the kind of guy, you know, again, you know, I didn't know him personally, but that would that would off himself, but he did. But hey, before you know he went to that suite by and by, he did make some good movies. I mean, he made a little movie called, uh, you might know it, called Top Gun. Yeah, there we go. Exactly. Uh true romance, absolutely. Great Tony Scott movie. But back to Harry Gregson Williams. And Gregson Williams worked under some guy named, maybe you've heard of this guy, um, Hans Zimmer. Yeah, Hans Zimmer, uh, for a long time and learned much of what he knows from Zimmer, such as you know, combining classical orchestral scores with modern electronic overtures. And you get a you get that combination, you get that combination with his the Martian score here. You get the sweeping orchestral pieces during dramatic moments, and then you get like some synthetic overtures during moments of action, right? Or like when he's uh you know preparing something or you know, planning things out, that kind of thing. And you know, it's just it just ends up being a chip off the old zimmer there. And then another random thought I had about the Martian is if you go to YouTube, a prominent category of YouTube videos regarding the Martian is that of how scientifically accurate is the Martian, okay? And I just personally think that's such an uppity navel gazing. Hey, look at me! I think I'm smart. Waste of time. As much as these video creators like to make sweet, sweet love to the high intelligence they think they have, they're still not intelligent enough to know at the end of the day the Martian is still just a movie, not a documentary. It doesn't have to be down to the letter, every T crossed, every I dotted, no stone unturned, scientifically perfect. I say the same about historians making YouTube videos, you know, criticizing historical inaccuracies in historical movies. Like, it's historically hysterical when they do it. I mean, I just don't just don't get it. Like, aren't you don't you guys get it? These are movies, all right? It's not on, it's not on uh the National Geographic Channel, it's not on the Discovery Channel, all right? These are movies. Uh you know what, uh, you know, uh hello, McFly. They do take dramatic license and they are entitled to because it's a movie, okay? Not a documentary. But I think they just, you know, love the smell of their own farts, and they just want to get on the uh get on YouTube and just you know try to show everybody, you know, I'm so smart. You know, you are lucky to live on the same earth. You're lucky to live on the same planet as me and my awesome, uh, godlike intellect. You know, so I think that's why they make those videos there. So and uh it does end up just looking so uppity and dumb and all of that stuff uh right there. And it just just just doesn't come off uh well. But I mean, hey, that's them. That that's a them problem, not a you problem right there. All right. So um, real quick here, uh, before I go on to any more The Martian here, which uh we I do have plenty more Martian talk for you here. Uh I got a fantastic segment coming up here pretty soon. But before I do that, I just want to uh remind you that this show you're watching right now, Movies America Live, this show on Sunday afternoon, is not the only Movies America show uh that comes on each week. I've got my I've got a show that comes on on Thursday nights. That show is called Movies America Spoiler Warning. And that's a show that I do where I address the same movie that I address on my Sunday show, in this case The Martian. But the Thursday show, I don't worry if I drop a spoiler or two or ten. Okay, I don't care. Now I don't go out of my way to drop spoilers. I mean, I'm not like, you know, chomping at the bit, you know, when I start the show, like, I can't wait to drop all kinds of spoilers. Yeah, you know, like no. But I'm not gonna like, you know, kind of tiptoe, you know, you know, like I'm walking on eggshells, trying not to drop a spoiler. Okay. Uh, and and to that end, I, you know, even do you the courtesy of letting you know in the even in the title of the show, uh, Movies America spoiler warning, that uh, yes, there's a warning. There's spoilers in this show potentially right there. And uh, but yeah, I mean, check it out. Um now, this week is a little different than most weeks because I am reviewing a movie that's 11 years old. And so, yeah, chances are you've already seen the Martian, and so you don't care if uh spoilers are dropped. So in that case, hey, yeah, join me on Thursday night. And that show comes on at 7 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Central, 5 p.m. Mountain, and 4 p.m. Pacific time, or specific time, as some people call that, right there. Okay. And uh, yeah, we're gonna talk about the Martian. And uh even if you haven't seen the movie, if you still want to help me out, uh, there's an easy way for you to help me out here. Uh, what you can do is you can fire up the show and and still do that, but just mute it. Just mute the mute the show and YouTube and Rumble, they don't know that you're doing it, but that still helps me out because they still think you're watching the show, okay? And they're like, oh, hey, YouTube and Rumble, like, all right, yeah, let's give uh Van some credit, right? He's got people watching the show, while at the same time, you're not getting the movie spoiled for you. So we both win. It's beautiful, baby. Yes, all right. And that's what I do with like a lot of shows on Rumble and YouTube. Uh, if I'm busy doing something else and I can't like uh you know uh direct my attention to a show, I will fire up a show on a like a computer in my back room or something like that and just mute it, okay? Uh and you know, they get credit for the watch hours right there. So you want to do that for me? That is that would be fantastic. I would appreciate that. And you know, you know what that costs you to do? Zero. Yes, zero right there. So absolutely free to help me out. But again, yeah, movies America, spoiler warning this week, all about the Martian. And uh again, that comes on Thursday night at 7 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Central, 5 p.m. Mountain, and 4 p.m. Pacific time there, ladies and gents, boys and girls. All right, let's move on with the show. All right, and right now uh comes the time for uh a lot of people's favorite segment on my movies America shows. And that's a segment where I let you know if the movie I'm talking about this week is a woke after school special. Okay. And I should probably, I should probably probably, was that even a word? I should probably preface me going into this episode into this segment right here, uh, with letting certain demographics know what a after school special is. Okay, because I mean, if you're my age, you know, if you're Gen X, maybe uh, you know, older millennials, you know, boomers definitely know what an after school special after school special is. Uh, we all know what what those are, right? But you know, anybody you know younger, you know, than that, right there, uh, they're probably like, hey, Van, um love the show or hate the show. Uh, but what's a what is an after school special? All right. And so I'll tell you what that is. So it's it's basically it's these shows that are no longer on, but there's shows that came on like in the 80s, late 70s, and what they were is they played right after school, hence the name, after school special. And you would come home from school and you'd be like, Mom, mom, hey, can I have some sunny day? We're gonna go watch Gilligan's Island, or we're gonna watch the Dukes of Hazard, or whatever, right? And he'd turn on the TV, and all of a sudden, you know, this show that's not the Dukes of Hazard would come on. And the show was about, you know, hey kids, don't do drugs, or hey, kids, don't smoke, or hey kids, when some van with no windows uh with a bunch of ice cream cones painted on the side of it comes by with a guy who looks like Joe Biden, and he's like, you know, hey kids, come on in, shut. I'm sheerish, man. I'm sheerish. All right, come on in, shut, and get yourself free ice cream cone. All right, Uncle Joe wants to play with you. Like, hey, kids, ignore that guy. Run as fast and as far as you can from that guy. Like, they were like shows that were about teaching kids valuable lessons in life, but at the same time, they're extremely cheesy, extremely corny. Okay. Mercifully, I think they usually were like just a half an hour long, all right, but that was long enough to ruin your plans to watch Gilligan's Island or Leave It the Beaver, right? And so that's what an after school special is. And again, those came out like late 70s, early 80s, around that time there. And so now we've got in the last 15, 20 years, we've got a lot of movies where they're not really movies, okay? They're not interested in entertaining and intriguing you or providing some infotainment or anything like that. No. They're made specifically and uh purposely to lecture you, okay, to preach to you, okay, to get on their woke soapbox or get behind the woke pulpit and uh and subject you to the great awokening, all right. And uh so we've had so many of those movies come out that I deemed it necessary, and obviously plenty of other YouTubers and movie reviewers do this too, where we all found it necessary to you know help our fellow man by you know warning you if a movie is woke, okay? And so the way I typically I do it, of course, is I just I warn you whether a movie is a movie or if it's just a woke after school special that you have to pay 18 bucks a person to go see, right? Okay. And so uh about the Martian. Is the Martian a woke after school special? And add this to the massive pile of things that make the Martian a monumentally fantastic movie. It's got zero woke in it, all right? And uh, you know, however, however, however, they came close, all right. Uh, it almost did if they had kept this particular deleted scene in the movie.

SPEAKER_00 39:33

You asked me how you did, and I'm giving you my answer. My answer is I'm gonna make people forget there's a very strong possibility that Mark Watney could die because that is what you were paying me for. And unfortunately, I need this job because currently I am paying alimony to two deadbeat ex-husbands because somehow gender equality has bitten me square in the ass. I left them.

SPEAKER_01 40:01

Yeah, I mean, as you could tell, that is a you know, that would have been a totally crucial part of the movie. I mean, it was in it was so important, it was so pertinent uh for people to see that scene right there. It adds so much to the to the to the plot of the movie of saving somebody from another planet. Like it just it just adds so much um you know important, important context to that whole plot right there. So it just and it's obviously it's obviously that that scene needed to be cut. It added nothing to the movie, you know, except for some uh woke occasion right there. And so, as you saw, we could have gotten Kristen Wig bitching about being bit in the ass, you know, by something feminizes said they wanted, of course, before thinking things through. And she will tell Edgefor, submitting to her at the end like a submissive, effeminate lapdog. Wisely, that scene, of course, was cut since it would have defiled the creation like a massive turd floating in a pristine pool. That's what woke does. I mean, that that's the calling card of woke. It takes the true and beautiful and hideously deforms it, like let's say, I don't know, like taking a high school cheerleader who's a who's a 10, all right, and after a college year of woke brainwashing, deforms her into like a three with green hair, a septum ring, tats, and two additional chins, courtesy of 150 extra pounds. All right, so there you go. It's not the freshman 15, it's the freshman 150 nowadays, right there. You send your beautiful, beautiful daughter, okay, to college. And you know, the last thing she says to you when she gets out of the car to go to college, I love you, daddy. And then the first thing she says to you when she comes home from, you know, on Christmas break from college, I hate you, daddy. You're an evil white man. It probably wants to colonize someplace. Like, you know, do you want your daughter to end up like that? Is that the transition you want your for your daughter? Well, you know, maybe, you know, maybe think uh twice, you know, before, you know, you like send your daughter off to Stanford or UC Berkeley and you brag to her neighbors. Um yeah, yes, uh, yeah, Ashley got into UC Berkeley. Well, we're so proud. We're so proud. And then uh, yeah, and she slams, she walks in the house, slams the door open, and hey, white people, I got some lessons for you. Okay, there we go. So if you want to avoid that, uh, yes, uh, yeah, avoid the college experience there, unless you it's a unless it's a college that you know literally is uh you know just there to educate and teach people how to think, not what to think there. There you go. But uh, so yeah, that's the old uh is this movie a woke after school special there. All right, so but uh yeah, it's uh time to uh proceed on with the show as we are getting close to wrapping it up here. All right, so uh yeah, as you could tell here, I mean, you know, just to give you my final thoughts on the Martian here. I mean, yes, I am fully endorsing you going to see this movie. And I told you that from the outset. Uh definitely check out Matt Damon and Jeff Daniels and Michael Pena and Jessica Chastain looking pretty damn good in this movie. So is Kate Mara, all that stuff. So I know I know people like shouting out the shouting out the window. Stop talking about how hot the women are, you simp. All right. Hey, no apologize. I'm not gonna apologize. I'm a I'm uh, you know, 100% you know, pure uncut heterosexual man, and uh I appreciate a lovely lady when I see her. I'm not apologizing at all. So there you go. Um but yeah, but in addition to lovely ladies, you know, you get good some great dramatic moments, uh great visual effects, uh, you know, just plenty of levity in this movie. Lots of funny moments in this. It's a movie that doesn't take itself too seriously. You know, you get like great banter between Mark Watney, Matt Damon's character, and his crew, you know, with them busting each other's balls. Yet there's professionals, you know, they all love each other, and uh you you know, like the uh like I said, his crew doesn't hesitate for a second. As Sean Bean's Mitch Henderson character says in the movie, you know, when Kristen Wiggs says, hey, but we're asking the crew to add what, 533 extra days, you know, in space? And Mitch Henderson, Sean Bean's character, just says, and they wouldn't hesitate for a second to do it. They'd happily uh stay in space that long to go, save their friend. Great. Uh, you know, it's uh it's a great, great uh bonding movie. It's a great entertaining movie uh for that. Uh and then yeah, you got a you know, great moment at the end with the whole world um, you know, just cheering on the rescuing. Is that a word? Rescuing, yeah, the rescuing of Mark Watney. So, yeah, I mean, it's a movie and it's widely available. This is not gonna be hard to find, the Martian. You can find it a hard copy, but it's probably on a multitude of streaming services uh there. I would watch it, yeah. Try to watch it in as good a format as you can, 4K or whatever. Uh you know, streaming HD is it's okay, but it's not like it's it's not the same as 4K off of a hard copy, like a 4K, you know, 4K disc right there, but it's it's serviceable, okay? Yeah. First world problems. Am I right or am I right? So there you go. But uh yeah, as we get ready to wrap up uh this show here uh again, I just want to ask if you'd follow me on the platforms uh that I'm on. I'm on X under at Movies America, I'm on Facebook uh with a Movies America page, Movies America group. I've got my Van Ebert profile on Facebook. Of course, I'm on Rumble, and if you look up Movies America on Rumble, you're gonna see like three Movies America accounts. So yeah, if you'd follow all three of those accounts, uh then also I'm on Gab, I'm on Instagram, and yeah, check those uh check those platforms out, find me on there and follow me. That would be fantastic there, and just yeah, just say hello, just say hi uh there, and uh yeah, and I will say hi right back. It's fantastic. So all right, but uh all right, let's uh yeah, let's uh let's uh kind of move on here or whatever. Sorry, I got distracted. That happens, it happens when you're doing a live show. You sometimes get distracted, but as I always say, get out there, people. Those movies aren't gonna watch themselves. See ya.