Ep237. Part Six – Neutral Corners: Where Conflict Dissolves and Problems Finally Get Solved (with Angie).

In this episode, Mike and Angie explore what it really means to “go to your neutral corners” during conflict. Rather than trying to resolve emotional tension in the heat of the moment, they explain why true resolution begins with individual self-regulation. Conflict isn’t solved in the center of the ring — it’s resolved in the corners, where each person takes responsibility for their own nervous system.

They unpack how projection, financial fear, old wounds, and emotional triggers play out inside relationships — and why nothing outside of you can fix what’s stored inside your body. This conversation draws a powerful line between unconscious survival-based reactions and conscious self-mastery, revealing how emotional regulation — not control — creates an unbreakable bond.

Key Takeaways

1. Conflict Is Resolved in the Corners, Not the Center of the Ring
Emotional regulation happens individually before resolution can happen together.

2. Your Partner Cannot Clean Up What Lives in Your Nervous System
Triggers reveal stored emotional energy — they are not created by the other person.

3. Financial Fear, Scarcity, and Emotional Volatility Are Nervous System Patterns
External changes do not resolve internal dysregulation.

4. You Attract Partners Who Expose What Needs Healing
Soul-level relationships trigger growth — not comfort.

5. As One Person Evolves, the Relationship Must Evolve Too
If consciousness levels diverge, the gap either closes through growth or widens toward separation.

Notable Quotes

• “Everybody thinks that conflict is going to be resolved in the center of the ring. But in reality, conflict is resolved in the corners.”
• “There is not a damn thing that I can do in that moment to release your anxiety, the anger, the fear, whatever’s in there.”
• “The knife didn’t create the juice. The juice was already there. The knife just revealed the juice.”
• “The only job of the nervous system is to keep you alive.”
• “It’s not always about comfort. It’s about growth and growing together.”

Call to Action

📘 Inner World, Outer World
Read Mike's latest book.  Available now on Amazon Now. Click here!

🔥 Unbreakable Boot Camp — March 6th & 7th
Join us live for two days of deep nervous system training and self-mastery work. This is where regulation becomes embodied and personal sovereignty becomes real. Click here for details.

👥 Message Mike or Angie Directly
mike@innerwealthglobal.com angie@innerwealthglobal.com

Music Credit: "What's Left of Me" by Wes Hoffman & Friends

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Transcript

Setting The Stage: Week Six

SPEAKER_02 0:19

I'll help you create real wealth exactly freedom from the inside out. Welcome to the Inner Wealth Podcast, where we learn and choose to live inspired each and every day. Hey guys, welcome back. This is uh week six. And last week we covered preferences, puncture, piece. And I that was one of my favorite episodes. That was a good one.

SPEAKER_01 0:46

I enjoyed that one too.

Why Neutral Corners Matter

SPEAKER_02 0:47

Yeah, that one is that's one that'll liberate you and your relationship and everything else. This week we're going to this week we're gonna advance the advance the cause a little bit, like a little bit. We've talked about a lot of this stuff before. And right before we we hit, you know, we started recording, we were talking about how some of these cut topics overlap and they're redundant. And it's okay because the more you hear something, the the more it'll it'll penetrate. But today, what we're gonna talk about is what exactly, when Angie said, you know, go to your neutral corners, when we talk about going to the neutral corners, it's like, what does that mean? Like what is that about? What what does that mean? Because we'll say that, go to your neutral corners, because everybody thinks that conflict is going to be resolved in the center of the ring, but in reality, conflict is resolved in the corners.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

The resolution starts in the corners, and then when the opponents come together, yeah, then you resolve together.

SPEAKER_02 1:44

And I would I would also say, I love that. I would also say that when you come back, you don't come back as opponents.

SPEAKER_01 1:50

Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:51

So so the opponents go to your neutral corner, and then when you come out, when you come back out, you're a team solving a problem.

SPEAKER_01 1:58

Yeah, go to neutral corners, talk to your coach, yeah, recalibrate.

SPEAKER_02 2:01

Yeah. And so what exactly does it mean? Go to the neutral corner. So you want you want to start? You just kind of want to like what does that mean to you? Like, let's say, and and for anybody new on this journey, right? We're gonna cover a couple things. Right right now, we're gonna cover how we deal with it right now, but we're also gonna talk about what it looked like when we were just starting this work, because it's it's not, this is all simple, not easy stuff. Okay, simple, not easy. It's very it's very basic information and simple to understand, but the actual execution, even especially at first when we've never done it before, it might be difficult for some. Okay, so simple, not easy. If you if you struggle with this or you don't understand, there's nothing wrong with you. You're not broken, you don't need to be fixed. It's just we need to do some work and and work together, and you need to listen to this podcast episode more in order to develop a deeper sense of awareness. So, right now, what does what does this look like for you right now?

SPEAKER_01 3:04

Right now, right now.

SPEAKER_02 3:06

Let's do let's do right now first.

SPEAKER_01 3:07

Okay, yeah, right now just means giving myself the space to to work on to continue to grow and develop and without the noise of you in in the background, right? And I'm noisy. You are very noisy. Kara and I were just talking about that at lunch today. You are very noisy.

SPEAKER_02 3:28

I'm a noisy guy. I take up a lot of space in the world.

SPEAKER_01 3:30

Yeah, you do.

SPEAKER_02 3:31

Um I love that she always says I'm manspread because my legs are out.

SPEAKER_01 3:37

Yeah, I wish you guys could see how we're sitting. I'm like this.

SPEAKER_02 3:40

She gets pushed out of the out of the my little legs are crossed, and he's I take that's I've always wanted to take up more space.

SPEAKER_01 3:47

I want to take up more space too, but I don't have a work right now. Um, no.

SPEAKER_00 3:51

So manspreading.

Daily Space Without Conflict

SPEAKER_01 3:54

You're manspreading. I'm gonna take a picture of this. You're manspreading. No, um, it just it means in the mornings when we come downstairs, we give each other that quiet space. And whether I'm yeah, I sit with our cat in the morning and I do my I read my devotional, and I go through you, you know, the whatever verses I'm working on that day, and I I contemplate and I talk to my cat and I scroll and just that space that that gives me ready to interact. And it's also a you know, I'll come, I'll I'll get up from one room to go to the bathroom, and he'll try to stop me. I'm like, no, no, not now.

SPEAKER_02 4:35

She just keeps walking through.

SPEAKER_01 4:36

It's just yeah, again, and we every single week this comes up. It's communication, communication. It's just saying, hey, I just need some time. And that's that to me, that's what it is right now because there's no conflict.

SPEAKER_02 4:47

For for for us, yeah. And that's what it looks like in let's say, in the absence of conflict.

SPEAKER_00 4:54

Yeah.

Triggers, The Drill Method, Release

SPEAKER_02 4:54

Okay. And and same, I I love it. And there was a time during our lives together where we always thought we needed to be together, and we always thought like there was no separation of you know, of Mike and Angie. And and now, like Angie just got back from lunch with with Kara, and I was here. I was I was in my zone, I was where I wanted to be, and she went out and she did what she wanted to do. But uh, so there's a separation, but also, you know, in the morning we sit in different rooms, and sometimes when Angie's watching certain shows, which I love, we sit in separate rooms at night, too. And I, you know, I love that too. But we're just we're just in the same house. Now time alone, got it. Now, what does going to your neutral corners in a conflict mean? When you're let's let's even take the conflict out. Yeah, what does go to your neutral corners look like when you are triggered by something or anything?

SPEAKER_01 5:51

I that's tough for me to understand. It doesn't even have to be me.

SPEAKER_02 5:55

What what is what when you're feeling uneasy, when you're feeling anxious, when you're feeling like something is wrong, what does that look like for you?

SPEAKER_01 6:07

For me, it's it's stopping in the moment and recognizing that there's nothing, first of all, understanding and recognizing that the person is not trying to intentionally trigger or whatever, and and seeing drilling. It's drilling, like what what emotion are they hitting? Like, where is that coming from? So you know drop into your body, yeah. The drill method, right? And and going through that and saying, okay, is this a me thing? Yeah, it's it's just figuring out that's a me, it's a me thing. It's I'm the one getting triggered. And now, do people do things too intentionally trigger someone? Absolutely, but the people in my life don't do that to me.

SPEAKER_00 6:51

Right.

SPEAKER_01 6:52

And that's the first step. Not intentionally, right? Not intentionally, like for funsies sometimes. I mean, or group text sometimes. Triggering intentionally, but but recognizing it's a me thing, not a you thing.

SPEAKER_02 7:04

Yeah, and and I'm gonna keep diving in because I don't think we've hit the mark yet. Okay, I don't think we've hit the mark yet. I don't think we've we I'm I'm I'm I don't think I've asked the the and guys, we don't prepare for these episodes. So so it's not like we had a script or a narrative, but um I'm leaving the conversation because there's something something awesome for Angie to share. And um, I'd rather her share it than me. But there's there's another step. Okay. So what I especially said in the absence of conflict, in the absence of being triggered by someone. You have, let's, let's play pretend.

SPEAKER_01 7:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 7:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 7:41

Because I am so, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:42

Let's I know, I know. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm leading, I'm gonna lead to to to the treasure, all right? Um let's pretend. I know this never ever happens, but let's pretend you have a bad dream at night, and in the morning you wake up with a lot of dis-ease in your body. Yeah, like it never happens, right?

SPEAKER_01 8:02

No, no, never.

SPEAKER_02 8:03

Is that sarcasm?

SPEAKER_01 8:04

Very sarcasm. Remember that time he cheated on me in my dream, and I was so mad at you.

SPEAKER_02 8:10

She was gonna come down and shank a bitch.

SPEAKER_01 8:11

And oh, I was so he I'm sorry, don't know what to do, right?

SPEAKER_02 8:19

I'm just sitting there, I'm like, oh, I've been in this house for like four days, 14 days. I don't know. Don't cheat on me in my dreams, but anyway, like I think that's a that's a a good um a good example, okay? You get triggered at night with a nightmare, yeah, and you you come downstairs. What would have what would have happened in the past my experiences, what would have happened in the past is you would have held on to that anger and you would have used it against, not just against me because of your treatment. It would have made my whole day miserable, it would have ruined your day, right? So the and then you would have projected that anger into the world, you would have projected that that fear into the world, you would have projected to ruin my what do you do now? What does that look like?

SPEAKER_01 9:03

I just let it go. I let it go.

SPEAKER_02 9:06

Okay. How do you do that?

SPEAKER_01 9:09

I just I drill into it. Drill into it.

Nightmares, Projection, And Ownership

SPEAKER_02 9:11

So drop into the body, recognize what's inside, inquire where it's coming from, listen to what it's telling you. Let it go. It's called the drill method. And so, what is my part? When you get triggered at night and you have this ease running through your body, what do I need to do to solve that?

SPEAKER_01 9:33

Not a damn thing. Not a thing, not a damn thing.

SPEAKER_02 9:36

And this is what we're talking about when we say go to your neutral corners. This is not my cleanup work. Yes. What happened with Angie in that situation is her cleanup work. There is nothing for me to do. And there's this often a savior complex. Let me make you feel better. Let me make you feel better. But literally, there is not a damn thing that I can do in that moment to release the anxiety, the anger, the fear, whatever's in there. There's nothing I can do. I didn't create it, I didn't cause it to happen, I didn't trigger it. It happened, and it's Angie's cleanup and it's Angie's responsibility. This is what I'm talking about going to your neutral corner.

SPEAKER_00 10:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:16

Like our business has taken, it's compressed. Right now, we are back at 2022 levels-ish, 2022, 23. Yeah, 23, 2023 levels. We're we're right where we were. We're still making more money than I ever made in corporate. Our income is high. We're our expenses are a little heavier because you know, our quality of life kind of kind of crept up there. But the point is, we're still we're still doing really well. We're still paying all our bills. We're not financially strapped. It's uh we're running thinner than we're than we're used to over the last couple of years. But really, there is no financial pressure except the comparison to what happened in 24 and 25. Yep. That's the only pressure point that we have in our finances, is that we are comparing our our financial state now to what it was in 24 and 25, and that's where it actually doubled from 2023, right?

SPEAKER_01 11:14

That was fun. It was a lot of fun, trust me, it was a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_02 11:18

And holy cow, that we put a lot of airline miles on. But the point being is right now Angie and I routinely feel financial pressure. And when Angie feels triggered, financially um triggered, or when her money fear starts to creep up, there's literally nothing I can do about it. And what projection would have been in the world, what and what could have been, right? And when we were living in our victim states, is she tells me I gotta go get a job. She tells me that I've got to do whatever XYZ. She tells me that I've got to find another stream of income.

SPEAKER_01 12:00

I'm trying to tell you how to fix my fear, how to how to how to quench the fear, how to calm it down.

SPEAKER_02 12:06

She's trying to get me to do something different because of the emotions running through her body.

SPEAKER_00 12:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:13

And that's when when two people are in a boxing ring and you're in the middle of the ring and you're fighting it out, like, I'm scared, you need to fix it. I'm scared. You need you need to I'm scared, stop hitting me.

SPEAKER_01 12:25

I'm scared, stop hitting me. I'm scared, stop hitting me.

Money Fear And Comparison Traps

SPEAKER_02 12:28

I'm feeling this anger, I'm feeling this emotion. You need to do something to take it away. I'm gonna project it onto you, I'm gonna scream at you, I'm gonna yell at you, I'm gonna blame it on you, right? The five weapons of the week, right? Guilt and shame, anger, threats, and blame. I'm gonna use these weapons and I'm gonna, and all it is is to try to get rid of this emotion that's in my body that that I'm that that's there, and I uh it's uncomfortable and I don't want it there. You need to do something, right? And that is how 85, 90 percent of our relationship was at one point. It's I'm feeling uncomfortable and I'm gonna put that on you and project it on you.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

But let's be real here. How hard is it for you to not try and fix that with me when that happens?

SPEAKER_02 13:12

Oh, it's terribly difficult. Oh, for sure. It's terribly difficult because then because then I project it onto me, right? Like, oh my god, I gotta do something, right? Or what is she thinking of me?

SPEAKER_01 13:22

Or what do I have to do to get yeah, I can I can see it when when my fear comes up, when I when I start to express a fear or I express a dream, it's a lot of my stuff comes out through dreams. And just the other night I had a dream that we were living in a in a basement apartment and we had to leave our animals at this house while we were transitioning and selling this house, and and just woke up in an absolute just the the boulder in my stomach. And I remember telling him about that, and I could just see him so wanting to fix my dream.

SPEAKER_02 13:57

I don't want my wife to suffer. I don't want my wife to be in pain or suffer, but in reality, this is her work. This stuff, uh I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna do the the old metaphor again, right? The old the old visual. If you're watching, you can see it. But if you uh if if you're listening, I'm gonna describe it. In my left hand, I'm pretend I'm holding an orange, and in my right hand, I've got my index finger out, and uh uh I'm making a fist, and I got my index finger out, and you take the the knife and you plunge it into the orange and you and you wiggle the blade around a little bit and you pull the blade back out. What happens to the juice in the orange?

SPEAKER_01 14:40

The juice gets released.

SPEAKER_02 14:41

The juice comes out. Did the knife create the juice?

SPEAKER_01 14:45

No, the juice was already there. The knife just revealed the juice.

SPEAKER_02 14:48

That's exactly right. So, did that dream create the emotion that's in your body?

SPEAKER_01 14:53

Oh gosh, no. That was that's been there.

SPEAKER_02 14:55

Did the did did the dream trigger it and show you that it's there?

SPEAKER_01 15:00

And that it's still, yes, and that there are still layers of that that need to be need to be released.

Weapons Of The Weak And Blame

SPEAKER_02 15:06

So it's it's the the dream revealed the fear. And now let's pretend that you had a very traumatic childhood that was very impoverished, that was very scarce, where you didn't know the next meal was coming from, and you didn't you didn't know where you were gonna live from moment to moment, and you didn't know it, you know, television comes in, and then a television goes and gets sold for heroin, and your walk mean gets stolen from you or broken, all of these things. Let's say you lived up in that kind of dark, really uh strugglicious, poverty stricken childhood. Do you think there's a lot of money fear? Oh, gosh, yes. All right. Now, is there anything I can do to fix it? No, no, did you in the past, back in the day, back in the dark, did you think it was my job to solve it?

SPEAKER_01 15:58

Oh, gosh, yes. I that's when you when you lost that second job, when you got fired that second time, and then you said that you were never gonna go work for someone again. Yeah, my reaction was I freaked out and no, you need to go get a job. We need four weeks of vacation, 401k, insurance. You work 40 hours a week, nine to five, Monday through Friday, and that's how it goes. And yeah, I fully expected you to calm that fear.

SPEAKER_02 16:22

So, what the amount of money that you wanted me to make back then, it took 60 hours a week, and then I got guilted and shamed that I was working so much, right? So, but but but even even not even when uh this showed up our whole relationship, and there's nothing I'm not blaming any of this. We just lived very unconsciously, and we were unaware of all this stuff. So we just thought this was just how marriage was, right? Like we said in previous episodes, we just thought marriage was hard, and we were just like this is just how marriage was. But the point being is even before I got fired, when I was already making a lot of money, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:56

You should be getting a raise, you should be making more.

SPEAKER_02 16:59

That person's making more, that person's making more, that person's making more. And it was you would you wanted more, you were scared of not of running out. We had we had blankets in in a what is it, a space, kind of space who was it called Oh the the vacuum bags.

SPEAKER_01 17:19

Oh my gosh, what are the actually?

SPEAKER_02 17:20

We had we had blankets, extra blankets in vacuum bags in our garage in case the heat ever got turned off. All right. And she was so freaking, she had so much emotional volatility buried in her in her nervous system, so much expectation of poverty, so much fear of poverty, so much fear of running out. And I mean, there was a lot in there, there's a lot buried. And her only the the only outlet that she thought she had, that Angie thought she had to release that and and and to to overcome it was for me to make more money.

SPEAKER_01 17:58

Yep, yep.

SPEAKER_02 17:59

And when we talk about going to your neutral corner, it's no, you're feeling scared. Go, go take some time and sit with that, drill into it, drop into your body, recognize what's in there, inquire into it. Where did this come from? Why is this showing up? Why am I being triggered by this? Listen to what it has to say, it'll answer, and then let it go. And as you do that, layer by layer of this emotion in the nervous system gets released. But there's nothing your partner can do, nothing your partner can do to take it away from you.

SPEAKER_01 18:32

Except give you the space and allow you that though that time to get through your shit.

From Opponents To A Team

SPEAKER_02 18:37

Yeah, that's what we do for each other now, and that's go to your neutral corner. I think it's important to understand that most people believe that marriage should be about two people providing comfort, but oftentimes it's two people being triggered throughout the relationship because soulmates you attract your soulmate based on the work that's unhealed or the things that are unhealed in you, and they're most capable. Typically, we attract the people most capable, most capable of like scratching that wound and and reminding you that that wound's there. And when they do that, it's a gift. It's not, it's not, you know, they're in a soul-based, in a uh spiritual relationship, it's two people being triggered together so that they can reach higher levels of consciousness and awareness together. It's not always about comfort, it's about growth and growing together. And that requires working on yourselves, not working on the marriage.

SPEAKER_01 19:38

And it also requires because I remember in the past when I remember when I try to get to that space of hey, when when conflict arises or something comes up, just this separate. We need to separate and and deal with it. And again, this is this is like really early in the journey.

SPEAKER_02 19:57

And that was almost difficult. That was almost like impossible in some cases.

SPEAKER_01 20:01

Oh, yeah. And we would we we would follow each other to our separate spaces and just keep trying to solve, solve, solve, solve. It's like, no, this needs to stop right now, separate. And again, this is something that wasn't realized until many years later, but that space is so sacred for those moments, and allowing each other that space is is what allows that that processing to happen. Because we want so bad to help the other to comfort the other.

SPEAKER_02 20:30

And but yes, yes. Now we want so bad to comfort each other. Back then, we wanted that anger out of our body, and the only way we thought is if I if I go to the other room where they are and just start screaming again, maybe I'll be able to relinquish some of this anger. Yeah. Because some of the some of the lack of being able to create separation is I still got anger and I want to share it with you because maybe if I share it with you, I'll get this out of my body. Right. And this is all unconscious stuff. It's all unconscious. It was almost like a magnet, like when we were both triggered, it was almost like a magnet pulling us together so that we could damage each other more. And the the first step was the awareness that okay, let's let's demagnetize this thing for a little bit, go to a separate corner. And even though we might still be drawn to to you know, to to to get in it and and and skirmish and fight and have some conflict, it's really important to demagnetize the situation, go to your neutral corners, diffuse, right? And then come back together and then solve. But not from emotion, from from logic, right? Yeah, because the emotion, there's nothing else, the nothing the other person can do.

SPEAKER_01 21:38

There is no logic when it goes to emotion. That's the thing is that's why nothing works when you're when when it when it's something that's heated, that it's not gonna work. Just go separate. Yeah, then come back and deal with it.

SPEAKER_02 21:51

And in and from that place and from that work that we've done, we and I just posted on Facebook today, I posted a page. Of our 20th wedding anniversary, and and when we we got remarried, we went to uh the Bahamas and we got remarried, and nobody wanted to come with us at the Bahamas. That was such bullshit. We got married on the beach. We invited our kids, our kids didn't want to go.

SPEAKER_01 22:13

One child chose marching band over going to Nassau to see us renew our vows, and one child chose cheerleading.

Growth Over Comfort And Faith

SPEAKER_02 22:20

Yeah, and and we so we spent we got our vows renewed on the on the beach in the Bahamas with a whole bunch of strangers applauding us. It was crazy. But but anyway, um, and leading up to that was five years after we started this journey together, and because that was 2020, right? 2016, 2021. That that's five years. Let me do one, two, three, four, five. There's nothing for you to do here. I got sorry, you got to do it.

SPEAKER_01 22:47

It was 21. I was like, it wasn't 2020, it was 2021. All right.

SPEAKER_02 22:51

But uh, five years, and then it's been five years since. But the the couple years lead up to the now, when we started the journey, we still every once in a while the the word divorce would come out. But the first the the the couple years leading up to that and the five years after, there's been no threats of divorce. Yeah, there's been no threats of trying to dissolve anything.

SPEAKER_01 23:08

And this year's 25 years. October 19th is our 25th.

SPEAKER_02 23:14

Trying to figure out where to go this year.

unknown 23:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:15

So Turks and Kegos was awesome last year. It sure was. Um so when we're going to take this to another level, and and that because we're talking about conflict resolution within our relationship. But there's there's a there's another there's another layer to unbury. And that's the the now, I don't want to use flaws, I don't want to use defects, but let's say the dysregulation inside of someone else's nervous system that is that is ever present and lives there and arises constantly. And for me, it was feeling unloved.

SPEAKER_00 24:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 24:03

There was there was 43 years more where I felt unloved, and I just wanted someone to make me feel loved. And I was always frustrated in our marriage that I always felt unloved. And I thought it was her job to make me feel loved. And that was damaged in my nervous system that and in my in my body that was damaged that there's nothing that she could have done to to fix that. And there's so many of these things, right? That like she wouldn't even need to trigger that. She would just need to to not solve I'm feeling unloved, and suddenly I'm blaming her. Guilt, shame, anger, threats of blame. I'm becoming a victim. My consciousness just goes to uh a victim, you know, victim mentality, and and thinking that there's something she did wrong and she needs to do because she's not doing X, Y, Z. Next week we're gonna talk about the five love languages, which is gonna be a lot of fun. Um, unfortunately, it's gonna be the week after Valentine's Day, so that's unfortunate the timing.

SPEAKER_01 25:12

We did discuss switching them around before we started recording today, but we thought that the the flow of what we have is is what works. But I am excited for that one.

SPEAKER_02 25:20

Yeah, it is. That's that's your favorite topic. You'd like to piss you love to piss the ladies off and make them realize that they're just being victims. But you know, those things, those those patterns of emotional dysregulation, those those inner conflicts, right, they cannot be resolved by some something or someone outside of you. And oftentimes when when we we feel lonely and we don't work, we don't want to feel lonely, we'll enter a relationship. When we when we feel when we feel scarce, financially scarce, we want to go make money. When we want to, when we want to feel um, I don't know, uh successful, we try to go out and and you know and build our business and grow our business to feel successful. We want more clients so we feel more successful. But these are all nervous system issues, they're not circumstantial issues. And this is why someone sets these big goals, crushes, gets to the goal, and still feels the exact same way because they're trying to, they're trying to rearrange their nervous system in or from things outside of them. And they're thinking that something can solve what's that that dysregulation inside. And the only thing that can solve the dysregulation is drop in your body, recognize what's in there, inquire within. What are you asking me? Why why'd you show it up? What are you telling me? How did you get there? Listen to what is telling you and let it go.

SPEAKER_01 26:44

But I would say from experience is that when you do achieve those things, it there is that moment, momentary momentary that okay, and and I can speak from this when when our income went up, right? With because financial poverty is my biggest fear, uh, scarcity is the one of the biggest things that I personally need to that I personally am constantly working on. And so when we experienced that big upshift in our finances last year, the year before, it was like, oh yes, okay, cool. This is all resolved. Right. And then as soon as it went away, it was like, oh shit, no, it's not.

SPEAKER_00 27:23

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 27:23

Oh shit, no, it's not. And and I think that that was just God's way of just showing you're still you're still a little dependent. Yes, I'm not a little dependent.

Samskaras And Nervous System Healing

SPEAKER_02 27:34

I'm a lot independent.

SPEAKER_01 27:36

I'm a lot independent. I'm working on it.

SPEAKER_02 27:38

And and look, I'm I'm not a religious man. I I'm not, but you you just said you just said the G word. Right. I'm not a religious man, I'm a very, very, very spiritual man. And I my spirituality is my it is my my faith in in spirit, in the divine, in whatever it is, and the unseen. I don't care what you call it. Angie, Angie coined it as the uh sky daddy.

SPEAKER_01 28:03

Oh, my dad wasn't mine.

SPEAKER_02 28:05

Oh, she she she heard it from somewhere, but that that was good. Um, I don't, I don't see, I don't uh, I don't um acknowledge a sky daddy. It's more the this divine force, this divine essence that that is pulling us towards towards spiritual evolution. I really do believe that that's why that's the purpose of life is spiritual evolution, not material comfort. Um, and I see it time and time again where people are seeking comfort, but they're really, they're they're really just avoiding growth. The point being is I believe that God loves us so much that God creates those situations so that we can evolve. Oh, certainly all God wants. Yeah, I'm getting emotional, all God wants. God doesn't, God's primary um intention for us is not material comfort, it's it's spiritual evolution, and and to raise our level of consciousness by letting go of the fear, we're letting go of the anxiety, letting go of the worry. So, whatever you need to be okay, need love, need money, and and and on on video, I'm I'm I'm taking, I'm ripping a carpet out from underneath somebody, right? Like, and God, God's not a vengeful God, and God's not doing it like to harm us. He's like, I love you, so you need it, let me take it. And when I take it, you're gonna need to freaking figure out how to live without it. And then when you don't need it, I'll provide it back.

SPEAKER_01 29:40

And let me tell you, it's a whole other level of growth when you're able to sit there. And I don't care if you're maybe your God is a cat sitting in a castle with a crown on named Tristessa.

SPEAKER_00 29:49

Tristessa.

SPEAKER_01 29:50

Yes, that's one of my favorite visualizations. You know, who whoever it is that you you you see as your guidance, like when you can sit back and say, Thank you, God Source Universe, Cat Cat Tristessa, thank you for the challenges. And it's like, oh, I'm saying this, but I don't feel it.

SPEAKER_02 30:07

I love you, but I hate you.

SPEAKER_01 30:10

And I've been every morning I get up and I I do my you know, gratitude, and and that's one of the things every morning I'm like, thank you for all the challenges, and it fucking hurts to say that the blessing of my challenges. Yes, the blessing of my challenges and the and the the experience of the growth. Yeah, I think, but man, that's a whole other level when you can sit back and be like, yeah, hey, thanks for taking that six figures away from me. I was grand, thank you.

SPEAKER_02 30:37

It's more than that. There's a couple of those.

SPEAKER_01 30:42

But whatever it was.

SPEAKER_02 30:43

Like, thank you. It was a couple of those, but but uh yeah, and and I think this is this is all about um realizing that next layer of of emotion, right? Emotion is just energy and motion. And what what happens is during the course of our life is energy, stale, expired, traumatic energy gets stuck in our nervous system. And then we try to live a life around it instead of go in and and find it and let it go and release it. And as as we and in this the um uh what what yeah, I'm I I just lost in Sanskrit. That's uh in Sanskrit, it's called a semskara. Yeah, and it just means a pocket of pain that's buried in your nervous system. And and those, you know, Angie's poverty experience just caused a lot of semskaras to be stored up in her nervous system. And every time she drills into her financial fear, she's releasing another, another semskara or another level layer of the semskara. And God, I don't believe God cares if you're happy. I believe that God cares that you're releasing those sumscaras so you can feel the freedom that you're that you that it really is your birthright.

SPEAKER_01 31:57

Yeah, and the purpose of this life is to evolve and grow.

SPEAKER_02 32:00

That's it.

SPEAKER_01 32:01

That's it.

When Partners Grow At Different Speeds

SPEAKER_02 32:01

That's it. You can do it together or you can do it separate. But what I always often realize, and we what we realize in our mastermind, and especially through gene keys in our study, and we just studied the sphere of attraction in gene keys, is you attract the whatever wounding is inside of you that that it is important for you to heal, you will attract that partner into your life that will unleash that that pain, and you will blame it on them, right? Guilt, shame, anger, threats, and blame. But really, you attracted them for your benefit and not not just your comfort.

SPEAKER_00 32:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:37

So Angie from the get-go, she knew how to trigger the fuck out of me, and vice versa. And now we use it for each other's good, not to each other's detriment. But we used to use it in a in a like an intentionally bad way, right? Harmful way.

SPEAKER_01 32:54

But we didn't know what we were doing. And that's the crazy thing is that the majority of society doesn't know that they're doing this, they're doing it, but they don't know. And I was just having a conversation. Uh, one of my Facebook friends had reached out to me and asking me some questions about relationship stuff, and I left her a long voice message, and it it's people just don't recognize what they're doing. And while she's wanting to grow, and her husband isn't, and it's like he doesn't know, like just like I didn't know.

SPEAKER_02 33:25

Yeah. And then one of the worst things that the people can do, and we've seen this in some of our workshops, and we've got a got an awesome workshop called the Unbreakable Boot Camp coming up March 6th and 7th here right outside of St. Louis. But one of the worst things that that can happen is the one spouse forces the other spouse to come to a workshop or to try to do the work, and they're not interested and they're closed off, and they're just getting angrier while they're there. They're not getting any value. And we have had we have had people females drag their males, their their count, their their their uh their partner to the workshop. They sat there completely arms crossed, shut off, shut off, and then day two dating. So that there you can't force anybody into this work. This is two people who have to voluntarily step into it, and there's nothing you can do to force somebody to to enter this arena and and and grow with you. And there's when one partner is growing, let's say one person understands the drill method and starts letting go. One thing you'll you you'll that I've seen over and over, and we've seen in our in our coaching, because we've got couples in our mastermind, is as one, um, and right now I've got my hands together on the on the uh video, you can see it, but as one person starts ascending the levels of consciousness, and I'm taking my right hand and I'm I'm I'm moving it up and my left hand staying the same, as one person moves up the scale of consciousness and the other person stays stuck, that there becomes a gap. And as the gap widens, it becomes more and more uncomfortable. And there's only three, there's only three uh outcomes that are gonna happen. One is the person on the lower end of the scale of consciousness, not better or worse, just on a level lower of awareness. Either they're gonna force the other person back down by triggering them and just getting them to collapse back into back into the old ways. Either the uh the person at the lower level is gonna not not worse, but just lower levels gonna start doing the work and move up, or eventually you're gonna move sideways and you're gonna break apart because there's no way as that gap widens, there's no way to be in this in the same energy, right? The the the law of attraction is real. And and at some point that's gonna you're gonna be demagnetized.

Familiar Chaos Vs Safe Peace

SPEAKER_01 35:40

Yeah, and I remember being the person trying to pull you back down.

SPEAKER_02 35:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:44

Because I wanted to be back into where I knew was comfortable, even though that comfort was absolute shit show.

SPEAKER_02 35:50

Okay, so we're gonna try to do this again, though. Last time we got it wrong. Uh well, you got it wrong. I'm blaming you. I I didn't get it wrong, you got it wrong.

SPEAKER_01 35:59

I just could not add five numbers together.

SPEAKER_02 36:02

That's not it.

SPEAKER_01 36:03

I know so.

SPEAKER_02 36:06

The the reason that you were trying to enter familiar circumstance, what's the only job of the nervous system to keep you alive, and how does it keep you alive? To keep you in familiar circumstances, keep you in familiar circumstances too. And why does it try to keep you in familiar circumstances?

SPEAKER_01 36:26

Because it feels safe.

SPEAKER_02 36:28

Oh, because it knows how to keep you alive there, okay. Same thing because it knows how to keep you alive there, right? And if your nervous system only knows how to operate in an abusive relationship, it's what's gonna keep safe. It's not safe, but it's familiar, and it tries to keep you in the familiarity of that abusive relationship because it doesn't know how to keep you alive in a safe relationship. And that's all that was the safety in me was growing, but the safety in you wasn't growing. It was actually getting like amplified, the negativity was getting amplified, and your nervous system's like, woo, woo, woo, warning, warning, warning. And all you tried to do, it's like, you need to get back down here with me because I don't know how to operate without conflict, I don't know how to operate without drama, I don't know how to operate without chaos. And and that's why you try to pull me back down to get me to freaking fight because you knew how to operate there.

SPEAKER_01 37:25

God, that was so dumb.

SPEAKER_02 37:26

It was stupid. No, we didn't have stupid be having this human body, this animal that we're wearing.

SPEAKER_00 37:31

It's stupid.

SPEAKER_02 37:32

No, it's ridiculous. But just like after we started healing our relationship, and as peace settled into our relationship, our kids started trying to incite conflict enough. They tried to, they tried to, they tried to trigger us, they tried to initiate chaos because their little bodies were addicted to it.

SPEAKER_00 37:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:51

And when you're addicted, when you're used to, when you're addicted to chaos, peace feels like boredom, and peace feels unsafe, right? Feels it feels like your nervous system can't keep you alive. It's unfamiliar. So you just try to get unconsciously, you just try to get back to that that that familiar, not safe, but familiar, freaking chaos.

SPEAKER_01 38:09

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 38:10

And go into your neutral corners. The only way to to freaking to make this shit go away. Yep. To happen, to start to resolve stuff. Anything else to add? You did a great job today.

SPEAKER_01 38:21

Well, I got two out of three right. I did not add up my numbers, but I made it.

SPEAKER_02 38:25

I'm gonna get my buzzer. Wrong. Your Aries loves being wrong, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_01 38:31

Oh, I will I will throw the buzzer at you on this video.

SPEAKER_02 38:35

She's gonna go write down all the notes of what she got wrong. She's gonna go study.

SPEAKER_01 38:39

So this is the thing is I hear this stuff all day, every day. Like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 38:47

The next time I ask her a question, she gets it wrong, she's going, kick me in the in the sack.

SPEAKER_01 38:52

The funny thing is, if someone else would have taught me this, I would have no problem. And that's that's the yeah, that that's the the great thing about this. But no, this this is great. This is being being a lot of fun, and um, I can't wait for next week.

Teaching, Ego, And Leadership

SPEAKER_02 39:07

Yeah, next week's gonna be fun. But I just I just thought of something. Uh Angie, uh, we do a lot soul sciences. I'm a lover of soul sciences, I'm a lover of astrology and GN Keys and all that stuff. And she's Aries, she's got she's got an Aries son, so she's got an Aries personality, and Aries don't like to be taught directly. Aries do not like to be instructed, you Aries do not like to be directed, Aries do not like to be told what to do, un shadow Aries. Let's say that if you tell Aries what to do, even if it's exactly what needs to be done, they will do it the exact opposite, just to just to freaking piss you off, right? You don't tell an Aries what to do.

SPEAKER_01 39:55

You might make some suggestions, it's just like a cat, but you don't tell an Aries what to do.

SPEAKER_02 39:59

And here's what here's my experience of Angie. I'll sit here and teach, and I'll be at a workshop and I'll teach and teach and teach and teach, and she's acting completely un undisconnected and uninterested and like she's not listening. I've heard it a billion times. And like if I try to teach her, she's dismissive. But I know that, I know that. Brenda Aries comes out. But but then what's really cool is then she gets on a call and she teaches what she's learned.

SPEAKER_01 40:27

I can't let you know you've impacted me.

SPEAKER_02 40:29

And in in the book Inner World, Outer World, where she wrote she wrote a foreword, and it's what people say it's the best part of the book. She said, uh uh my something like about my ego. I'll drop my ego for a second because I can't, or or I can't possibly tell him he how great he is.

SPEAKER_01 40:48

Oh, yeah, yeah. Don't tell him that. Yeah. No, yeah, he's he's great, but yeah, we're not gonna tell him that. No.

SPEAKER_02 40:54

This work works. And one of the things that that Angie shared in the in the inner world, outer world is even when she was dismissing me, I was yeah, back back in the day, she said, and I'm getting emotional. Mike's work and Mike's teachings got me through some really some of the darkest times. And I don't care if she listens to me or not, as long as it as long as it gets us through through uh some dark times and rough times and gets us into the light. I don't care if you dismiss me or you roll your eyes at me, but I love you that much that uh I just want to see it through with you.

SPEAKER_01 41:26

Yes, and your work is very powerful. And and I definitely do listen, I just can't let you know that.

Next: Love Languages, Final Invite

SPEAKER_02 41:31

And she leads our women's group. And I don't hear, I sit up at the top of the up in the sitting room, and I can hear her talk, and I can't hear the contents of the conversation, but what I can hear is her being a powerful leader and a powerful guide and a powerful mentor. So, whatever work she's done, it's working. All right. People are coming that we've got people in our mastermind say, I'm here for Angie. I'm not here for you, I'm here for Angie. And that that was like, and they were like, Don't take us personally, but what they don't realize is they just live by soul on fire because I know that everybody should be here for you. All right. Next week, the love languages decoding the proper way to use them and a way that'll bring you a lot of frustration and a lot of uh yeah, exposing the fatal flaw of the love language. Okay, there you go. It'll bring you a lot of frustration and a lot of uh really challenging and disappointing times. Yep. All right, and a never-ending need to keep giving. All right, guys, love you. Talk next week. This was episode six. Episode seven next week. We got a couple more episodes to go. All right. Thanks for being on the journey and stay with us. We got more to do. Love y'all.

SPEAKER_01 42:49

Bye, guys.

SPEAKER_02 42:53

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