SPEAKER_04

This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice.

SPEAKER_00

Welcome to the Swing Nation Podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe, interview the experts, learn and grow together. Join the nation. So Lacey, people are asking, how do they get to go to a party or an event with us?

SPEAKER_04

They check out swingerssociety.net, you create a profile, you sign up for an event, and you come hang out with us. It's super easy.

SPEAKER_00

That's right. If you want to party with us in the other faces and names that you know from social media and TikTok, head on over to swingersociety.net.

SPEAKER_04

Can't wait to see you there.

SPEAKER_01

Hey there, pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We are your hosts, Northern Guy and Southern Girl. And we are back with another full length episode of the Swing Nation Podcast.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Wait, Danny, Wazy! It's not Tuesday talk, babe.

SPEAKER_01

I know, I just want to get it in there.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Because I know how much you love that.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I know how much it means to you, so I just want to make sure I get it in as many episodes as possible. Thank you. Because it shows my love and dedication to my beautiful wife.

SPEAKER_00

Wazy! Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

All right.

SPEAKER_04

People are gonna think I hate you. Yeah, you do. I do it. I love you.

SPEAKER_01

Some days you hate me. No. But it's okay. I think that's marriage, right? I think that's what they call marriage.

SPEAKER_04

No, I don't think that's what they call it.

SPEAKER_01

Oh. Okay, maybe it's just our marriage.

SPEAKER_04

Oh, I don't, I know and hate you. Don't tell people that. Are you crazy? I love you so much.

SPEAKER_01

Blink twice if you need help. Um all right. So this week's episode, um, we are gonna be talking about the myth of the lifestyle versus the realities, right? I think there are a lot of misconceptions out there about what swinging is, what the expectations are. Um, if you go to an event, what's gonna be expected of you? There are a lot of rumors out there. Yeah. And uh I think it's important to set the record straight. It's kind of the whole mission of our platform and our podcast. And I don't think we've ever done like a straight up miss um podcast episode before. Have we?

SPEAKER_04

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

If we did, it was a while ago.

SPEAKER_04

We have so many episodes. It's over 200 now. Yeah, and I don't have any clue what all we've done. Okay, but it's fine. Either way, I'm sure our opinions have changed and evolved. So, you know, even if we've done it, let's do it again.

SPEAKER_01

Let's do it again. All right, so let's get into it. So the first thing I want to talk about is what before you got in the lifestyle, what did you think? So if you can think back in your brain, right, pre-swinger lace, uh, which would have been what, like 10 years ago or something.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, or a little bit more. Yeah. I I actually had pretty strong opinions about the lifestyle because I let's just say I knew somebody. Ooh, let's just say that. Um, that her and her husband were in the lifestyle, um, or were swing. I didn't know the life, I just knew swingers. Right. Um, and they were kind of wild and uh it was always something going on. Like they they played without each other, which I didn't I thought that that was just like a swinger thing. I didn't realize that there was like boundaries and stuff like that in place, you know, for that, if that's not something you're into. Um, so I thought they were just like sex fiend people that probably didn't even like each other, if I'm being honest. I felt like maybe that, you know, because they had like teenagers at the time, and I'm like, they don't want to get divorced. Right. So they're just staying married and kind of doing this, probably because they're best friends, you know, they probably care about each other, but they don't want to get divorced. Right. And so that was really my opinion on it. But I was pretty conservative back then. Okay. Yeah. What about you?

SPEAKER_01

Uh I think I probably had the same opinion that most people had, right? I didn't really like think of swinging as like, oh, there's this community of people that like our friends and hang out. Like my idea was of swinging. If you said, well, what is a swinger? I'd been like, it's people that go to sex parties and all have orgies with each other. So I probably had the very like stereotypical like key party, 1970s, porn mustaches, like walk through the door, drop your keys, get to fucking. Like I thought that's what swingers were, I thought that's what they did. Um, I didn't and I didn't really understand it. And I I guess I would have assumed probably like what a lot of people do assume is that um if you were gonna be a swinger, you just had to go to these parties and fuck everybody that was there.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, like it was like a free-for-all.

SPEAKER_01

Right. Yeah. So those were our misconceptions. Um, so let's get into it and address some of those myths head on uh and explain like what they the myth the what the misconception is and then what the reality is. Um so the first one I want to get into, um, and this one's pretty easy, is that everybody is hot. I don't even know if that's really a misconception that people have. I think people, the people I see that have that misconception the most is that people it's people that are considering joining the lifestyle, right? So they they they like maybe they're interested in swinging and they're thinking about going to a party or an event, but then they get online and they start looking at like some of these websites, they start looking at some of these flyers, and they start and they think, I think, oh, that's a bunch of that's a bunch of like supermodel type people. Yeah. And I'm just an average mom and I have stretch marks, and um, I so these people don't want me at their party.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, which I mean, shameless plug, a few years ago, probably like three years ago, we implemented where we try to make our flyers look like everybody, you know, like some of them are a white skinny, perfectly tanned, perfect body. Yes, there are some of those, but we try to show different colors and different sizes and and not just female, because a lot of swinger flyers are only girls, you know. So we we we've tried to help with that, but yes, you're right. If you go to almost any swinger website and they have a flyer for an event, it's usually like a very skinny white girl or a couple of them.

SPEAKER_01

And and I yeah, it looks like a Baywatch poster, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, yeah, like a supermodel basically. I mean, and and some of the images are not like real, they're just AI, like they're not even real people. Um, yeah, yeah, I think people do think that, but if you really stop and think about it, it's just normal people, you know, like it's not it's there's just not that many hot people like in the world, you know? It's just right, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

It's probably, you know, if you're talking about like, like you're saying, these images that are on some of these flyers, those are like supermodel looking people, right?

SPEAKER_04

And honestly, there's like you would be lucky if you had one person there that fit that description.

SPEAKER_01

Depending on the event, sometimes it's more, but yeah, you're right. Um, less than one percent, probably. Right. So less than one percent of the people that attend these parties probably actually look like the pictures of the people that are on most of these flyers. Uh, and like you said, we have adopted um on the swinger society side, um, where we're trying to include more body positivity, um, you know, more diversity to really try to hit home that, hey, like look, these flyers, there's you you're seating all kinds of people because I think that reflects better of actually who shows up to the event. On the electric pleasure side, which is you know the brand we just launched, that's more of a music festival, alternative lifestyle uh friendly brand. We've done away with pictures of people altogether. Um, it's just art, like it's artwork, it's some kind of like uh you know cartoon type image of animals and things like that. So it's it's real more music festival vibe type stuff, not really um swinger type stuff. Yeah. Um, and so you know, hopefully on neither brand are we helping to feed this misconception. Um, but yes, as far as who actually shows up, it's it's all body type. Yeah. I mean, these people are moms, these people are grandmothers, these people uh, you know, um are of all ages, in all sizes, in all um races and diversity. And I think that's another this isn't on my list, uh, but we can kind of talk about it a little bit here. I think people do have a misconception about the diversity thing as well. Um, there is a misconception, you know, there a lot of people will say, oh, it's just all upper middle class or rich white people that attend these parties. And I think that is true, depending on where you are.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_01

If you go to uh Trapeze Atlanta, it's not it's there's uh a pretty diverse crowd that shows up to Trapeze Atlanta. It's probably fairly representative of the Atlanta population. Yeah. If you go down to um Miami and Miami Velvet, um it's actually heavily Latina people that come up because that represents the community. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04

So I think depending on if you go to Kentucky, it's mainly Caucasian white people. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So I think, you know, and I think we could probably do a better job of being more diverse, but I do think most clubs and stuff around the country are a pretty good representation of um the area of the country that you're in and the population of that area.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Um, you know, it might still lean a little bit more uh Caucasian um than not, but I but to say that there's no diversity in the lifestyle, I think is not accurate. Yeah. Uh and even when we go to like places like Hido or places like the Bliss Cruise, I think those are some of the very diverse.

SPEAKER_04

I think because of you're pulling people from all over the world, essentially, you're really seeing a true, like what's the word? Like true representation of the lifestyle. Because it's it's literally all types of people across the board in different countries, different, just it's pretty unique and pretty awesome, if you ask me.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. And I think in, you know, we've talked about this a lot too. My favorite part about that diversity is nobody talks about politics.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Nobody talks about income. Uh, nobody talks about what jobs you have. Um, so it's really when you go to lifestyle parties, events, and lifestyle you know, swinger spaces, you really get to know people on a people to, you know, a person-to-person level, where you kind of everybody starts on an even playing field, um, and then you kind of just build your relationships off that. Where I feel like, you know, prior to being in the lifestyle, you know, and going to like work parties or going to like um, you know, social events and stuff like that, most people led with the the politics. Yeah, what do you do for a living? What do you do for a living? And oh, did you see, you know, what happened last week on the news? And you know, oh yeah, fuck that guy. You know, I'm like that's how all the conversations start. And and because of that, it's like you're forced to like pick a side or be in a box. And you know, if you're not in the same box as the people you're talking to, you're not welcome in those circles. Uh, where I think it in the swingers' lifestyle most people do a very good job at trying to avoid the religion, politics, money type conversations, and just get to know people for kind of who they are as a person, other than like what their politics and and and social status is.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, no, I agree.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_04

So the second I feel like that was a tangent.

SPEAKER_01

It was a little bit of a tangent. Yeah. But I think the the point, I mean, I only have like five of these, so we kind of we're gonna have to we have to talk about them a little bit in depth or something.

SPEAKER_04

I guess that's I meant like because it was more of like what everybody looks like.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, we started with the body thing, but I think it's it is overly encompassing. I think it is, you know, your what body type you are, but also, you know, people talk about diversity and then yeah, no, I I'm not giving you shit, baby.

SPEAKER_04

I love you. You did so good.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you. All right, so misconception number two. Um, swinging will ruin your marriage. I think a lot of people think that. Or, you know, when you talked about what you thought about swinging prior to to joining the lifestyle, you know, part of what you said is, well, I think people are probably doing this because they're not happy in their marriage. Yeah. So maybe it I think it's a combination of if you do this, it's gonna ruin your marriage. And then the second part is, oh, if you are doing it, it must be because there's some type of problem, right? Yeah. Uh even, you know, on your TikTok posts, uh, we we're, you know, we just had a video go viral, which brings out all the trolls. Uh, and I you see all kinds of, oh, well, you know, way to tell me your husband's not satisfying you without telling me your husband's not satisfying. You know, there's some idea that if you're in this lifestyle, it's because there's something lacking at home.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. No, I I totally agree. And that listen, have we seen friends' uh marriage end while they were swingers? Yes, absolutely. The truth is their marriages had problems before the swinging. Um, and the and swinging, in my opinion, will just put a magnifying glass on whatever issues you may have. And so I feel like if your marriage is already kind of headed down a maybe a dark path, and then you join the lifestyle, I feel like it's just gonna like make that whole process speed up and probably crash and burn, where if you weren't swinging it, you might could like separate a little bit easier than if you it, you know, then if you're you're fucking your friends, that kind of adds a adds a uh wrench into it. But I know of lots of happy, successful couples that do swing, and it's not it's not one or the other.

SPEAKER_01

No, I I couldn't agree more. I I think you know, swinging does have a bad reputation because you hear the most about if somebody joins this lifestyle and it blows up their relationship, those stories tend to get out and get around, right? Especially because when they were happily married and in the swingers' lifestyle, they probably didn't tell anybody that they were swingers, right? Yeah, but if if they their relationship got blown up because of swinging, I bet they, you know, they then told everybody, well, yeah, he was fucking other people, and we tried being swingers and oh, it went terrible and it ruined our whole marriage. Like, you know, so I think if it's successful, you probably don't tell anybody about what you're doing. Whereas if it blows up your relationship, that probably gets more attention and it gets more public. Uh, I do agree with you that if you are struggling with your relationship, if you have a lack of intimacy at home, um, if you don't feel super connected to your spouse or partner, that do not try this.

SPEAKER_04

Which we get a lot of messages like that. Like, my wife's not interested in sex. Do you think if I you know talk to her about joining the lifestyle, you know, this will help her? And I'm like, no, if she's not interested in sex, she's not gonna be wanting to do orgies. Like that's gonna be an issue. So, you know, or if you're having trouble communicating or whatever, this is it's kind of like having a baby, you know, like you don't have a baby to fix a marriage, you don't join the lifestyle to fix your marriage, you're probably just gonna like speed up the divorce process if you do that. Um, so I think before you even entertain the idea, all of those things need to be kind of worked through before you even really talk about it as a couple.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. And another thing I will say, um I have seen, and I this, you know, maybe this is just anecdotal, but I have seen more happy people that have been married 20 plus years in the lifestyle than I can think of people that I know are really happy outside of the lifestyle that have been married for long periods of time. You know, I think of the couples that we run into on Bliss Cruise, I think of the couples that we run into at Hito, you know, and they're like in their 70s or sometimes even in their 80s, and they're out on the dance floor and they're dancing and they're laughing and you know, they're touching each other. Uh, sometimes they're having sex in various places and stuff. And and you know, then I think back to my grandparents who were great people, but nowhere they didn't seem nowhere near they seemed pretty sick of each other in a lot of ways. You know what I mean? Which I I'm sure they've they've you know loved each other and all that too. But uh what I'm trying to say is I've seen a lot of really happy long-term relationships in the lifestyle.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, and it seems like it's almost like they find like a new love, like a new spark, especially if they join the lifestyle like later in life, like after their kids are gone, and then you know they're empty nesters and they're looking for something to do, and then they they join it's almost like they reignite that spark. And I I think that's wonderful, and that's something that I mean, obviously we we've been swinging since the day we met, so that's kind of hard for us. But I do look forward to being like that older couple in the lifestyle and and people looking at us that way.

SPEAKER_01

No, I it's you know, me and you have pointed those types of couples out to each other several times, and it it it really is like awe-inspiring to see somebody that's been clearly together for that long and see them so in love. And I think it's what you said. I think it's because they don't ever stop adventuring, you know, like they're they're their their life is a you know, is an adventure, and you know, they're in their 60s and 70s and 80s, but they're still going on cruises and going on vacations and you know having sexy fun and making time for each other and and kind of I feel like the lifestyle is a great escape for from the real world. Um, and it's just such a happy place where it's you know full of pleasure and fun. Um, and and I think you know, if you can bottle that up and like if you could bottle that energy up and like sell it to people, um, I think it would be a you know, yeah if you put it in a pill and like put it online, like we would make billions of dollars. But I can't do that. But what I can tell you to do is like come experience it for yourself. Um and I think you'll feel it too.

SPEAKER_04

Most people and honestly, it's it's not even about like the having sex with other couples, in my opinion. It's more about being like in a sexually open environment where you can, you know, be yourself, you're free to express yourself, whatever that looks like. And it makes you prioritize relations with your spouse, you know, and like maybe you get you get to have sex in the middle of the ocean where you probably would have never done that before. So I think like even if you're not actively like engaging with other couples, I think just being in and around the lifestyle is a positive experience.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and I'm sure vanilla people could do a similar thing just without the sex part. Like I'm sure if you were in your 60s and 70s and you're going on vacations together with your partner, yeah, but you can't fuck on a pool table in the middle of HETO, you know, or you're missing that intimacy part or the cat like something about just like being free and being open and and some of these places like giving you the means to do that, you know, it just I don't know, it it's very rewarding. Yeah, on one of these podcasts, we were talking to one of these um um relationship coach type people, and they were saying, you know, one of the problems with monogamous relationships is you know, when you move in together and you you're married for a long time, you start feeling like brother and sister. And and human beings are like bial biologically wired to not have intimacy with people that are that close to them. So it's almost like you have to fight that urge to be feel like family. Like you have to you have to keep outside of that. You have to find some way to keep your relationship energy feel new and sexy and not feel like brother and sister. And you know, I even think my previous relationship, I was in it for 13 years, and I think we got to that point where we felt like you know, you hear this all the time. We felt like roommates, we felt like brother and sister, we felt like you know, so I I kind of I can get that. I think this lifestyle is a good way to just mix it up and randomly hit that reset button so that you don't get into that like um that that feeling, you know, you don't get stuck in this like, oh, we're yeah, we're just roommates now. You know, you're you're always adventuring together, you're always having new experiences, you're always seeking like new you know, things and new levels of pleasure. And so I I do think it keeps you out of uh getting stuck in that bubble.

SPEAKER_04

I think so too.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Uh next myth. Uh, this is number three. There are no emotions associated with swinging. If you this is probably a hot button topic.

SPEAKER_04

Well, if you would have asked us when we first started this podcast, y'all can go back and listen to it. Um, when people when people tell us, oh, we're starting from the beginning, where I'm like, oh God, you know, because when we first started, we would say there was no emotions involved.

SPEAKER_01

Um we actually used to say that we were physically non-monogamous, but emotionally monogamous.

SPEAKER_04

I still feel that we are.

SPEAKER_01

I think we meant that, like you just said, we I still feel like we are. I think we meant that in in I we still feel that way in in some ways, right?

SPEAKER_04

I do because I'm like, as far as like a life partner, I am monogamous to you. I don't like I'm not like, yes, I have emotions for other people because I care about them as just like I would care as for like a best friend or an acquaintance, but like I'm not trying to like start a life and create a life and and do all the things. So to me, I am more emotionally monogamous with you, yes.

SPEAKER_01

Right. Um, and I I do think that's I think that's a a way to simplify what's actually happening. Yeah. Right. Because the truth is you have an emotional connection with all of your friends, whether you're having sex with them or not, right? If you have friends, you care about them, right? That's a normal human being thing, right? You don't have to be a swinger, you don't have to be fucking your friends to know that I care about my friends. And I think with swinging, the weird thing is, I think the long term friends that you have, you have that emotional friendship connection with them, but there is some type of intimacy connection. Connection with them as well. But you're just not taking it to the point of being But I mean, like, I don't feel like I have like intimate emotions.

SPEAKER_04

Like, do I enjoy getting dicked down by a big dick guy? Yeah, I do. But like I'm not like we're not having intimate romantic.

SPEAKER_01

This shows you, like, we've been doing this for 10 fucking years.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I don't think we fully understand how all the dynamics are.

SPEAKER_04

I mean, like, I care about you. I don't want anything to happen to you. I don't want anything to happen to you, your dog, your children, your job. I don't want, you know, like I want all good things for you. But like I I think for me, uh the best way to think about it is at the end of the day, it's about you and I. So, like, yes, I want all of our friends to be happy and love and all the great things, but at the end of the day, my responsibility is to you and to me, and that's all that matters. I can still care about my friends, but that's what the main thing is.

SPEAKER_01

So I'm reading my notes here, and one of those things says is, you know, emotions are normal and unavoidable, right? I think we we all agree with that. And then it says emotional intelligence actually matters more than emotional suppress suppression.

SPEAKER_04

Well, I think you have to be like smart enough to almost know what kind of box to put them in. Even if we can't describe like what that feels like or what that looks like. I get that question a lot online. People are like, how do you not fall in love with? Like, how do you not catch feelings for people? Well, one of our boundaries is we communicate through like group messaging, which for me, I feel like if I was having side conversations with somebody, to me, that's where those um like where that that intimacy that that those type of things can happen. When we're on a group chat text message, I'm not gonna fall in love with you when my husband's also reading the like that's like to me that there's like a certain level of emotional intelligence that I just don't put myself in that position to even go down that path.

SPEAKER_01

Right. Part of what this says is there's a difference between emotions and emotional attachment. And I think that that kind of is a good way of saying it, right? Of course you have emotions, you know, when you're when dealing with your friends, but you aren't emotionally attached to them, right? My emotional attachment is with you and your feelings, needs, desires always come first, right? Of course, our we have emotional attachments to our friends, just like we have emotional attachments to our family, right? But at the bottom of the line, you know, my wife and my kids are really my first priority. And in the lifestyle, it's kind of a similar thing, right? Like, yes, I care about my mom and my cousins and my neighbors and all that stuff. But at the end of the day, I care about my wife and I care about my kids, and that's the first, you know, if somebody needs money, if somebody needs somebody to come take care of them, if somebody, you know, like those are the people that you're gonna prioritize. And in this lifestyle, it's a very similar thing where you have to have clear rules and boundaries and understand that unless you're going to be polyamorous or something like that, if you're just truly a non-monogamous swinger, that you you have to understand that your primary relationship with your wife matters more than anything else. Because the truth is, emotions are going to happen.

SPEAKER_04

They okay. So let me just say this. So if you are somebody that is worried about that, like if you don't want emotions in it, you can you can do it without emotions, right? You could hook up with somebody and then it'd be a one-time thing. You don't exchange phone numbers, you don't get to know them, you know, like it's there's truly no like connection. It's just so so like it can be done. Yes. We found that the more we get to know people, the better time we have as far as just like vanilla fun, the better time we have just hanging out with them. Also, the sex is better, the more you get to know people, you know. Just like the first time you have sex with somebody, it's never like I mean, maybe, but you some, you know, but for the most part, it's never like mind-blowing sex. But like once you get to know them and they know like what buttons to press and all the things to do, I feel like it makes for a better experience. So I think no emotions can be done. But we found for us, having a little emotion there just makes a better experience.

SPEAKER_01

No, I agree. And I think if you are a single, you know, I you know, even if you're not a swinger, you probably kind of know if you were dating, right? You have like a random hookup, that can be fun and that's great. But at some point you're like, this is a lot of work, and sometimes the guys don't show up or they show up and they don't look like their pictures, and it's it's just not that great, right? So even if you have a good fuck buddy as a single, that's usually better than the random hookup. Yeah, not always, but usually a good fuck buddy is better than a random hookup. Yeah, the lifestyle is very thin. Like we have a lot of good fuck buddies, and we have emotional attachments, some level of emotional attachments with somebody, but our emotional connection is with our partner.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, we don't add a ton of new people, and I think the podcast and the level that everything has gotten to is sort of the reason why. I think because we enjoy getting to know people, really seeing, but there's also a level of trust because somebody could like you could fuck some girl, and then she could go off and tell people that you are whispering, you know, I want to leave Lacey. You know, like there there's a level of trust there, and I think just like hooking up with random people for us, it just doesn't make sense. Now, I would be a hypocrite if I didn't sit here and say, never say never. You know, like we have been known to occasionally throw in a wild card. And listen, that is fucking fun, and I'm not about to stop doing that, but I would say nine times out of ten, it's usually we're usually we want to build some kind of connection, some kind of like I think like you're saying, it's more of the trust than it really is the connection.

SPEAKER_01

Although we need to feel the we have we all have to have vibe with you and feel you know safe and comfortable with you. Uh but yeah, I I think you know, and really if you think about it, right? If I was saying if I was like, Lacey, would you like to have emotionless sex? Like, does that sound good? You you actually do this to me sometimes when you're mad where I'm like, I want to fuck. And you're like, I don't want to really fuck. And I'm like, Well, baby, please fuck me. And you're like, okay. And you'll just like lay there and try not to like try not to like tell people my thing. They know, they've experienced this. Lacey will try just to not like I'll try really hard not to come. Just like play dead almost.

SPEAKER_04

Shut up. I'm not playing dead. It's like, it's like we're we're in a fight, but we're still fucking. And then I'm like, don't come, Lacey, don't come. Don't give him the satisfaction.

SPEAKER_01

And sometimes I know you do you're doing it, so I'm like, try harder. Like, is that bad?

SPEAKER_04

It's a little toxic, but whatever. But you know what I'm saying? We're not the only couple left.

SPEAKER_01

You do that because you know I don't like that, right? When you when you aren't involved in the sex and when you aren't giving me positive feedback, it ruins it for me. So it's the same thing. I think I don't want to fuck nobody that's just emotionalist and just lays there and takes it. You know what I mean? So you need some type of back and forth, you need some type of connection, I think, to have a good experience. I think you just the key to all this is knowing where to draw the line.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I think you can have emotions in the lifestyle, but you have to prioritize the main thing, which is the copyright.

SPEAKER_01

All right, clear rules and boundaries and know where when to draw the line. And then if for some reason those emotions start to get out of control, you need to know when to cut it off. Uh okay. I think now's the perfect time to take a little break and hear from the partners and sponsors of the Swing Nation podcast. And then when we get back, we'll get into a few more of the misconceptions out there. Yeah. All right, I'll be right back, guys. Lacey, one thing I don't leave home without when going to a swinger event is my ED medication.

SPEAKER_04

That is correct.

SPEAKER_01

Performance anxiety is 100% a real thing. Um, having sex in an orgy room with um a hundred people in there is way different than having sex at home in your bedroom.

SPEAKER_04

It is.

SPEAKER_01

Um, so I like to have what we call a little insurance policy and have some of that ED medication in my pocket. Um, shameless care is who I use for that. And they actually just came out with a new product called the Shameless Duo.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Which is a combination medicine that has Viagra and Cialis in it, so that one, you can be ready whenever, but also it's got that dose that you can take when you're, you know, as you're getting ready to go to the playroom and you need that to kick in. Yeah. So I love it. I mean, I used it at Hito for the first time, and that that combination.

SPEAKER_04

You're going to pretty much switch to that, haven't you?

SPEAKER_01

That's basically what I use all the time now. Yeah. So if you're looking for ED medication, if you're new to the lifestyle uh and you're going to an event, you might want to get some and have it just handy in case you need it, kind of thing.

SPEAKER_04

And the really cool thing about shameless care is they don't set you up on a recurring plan. So you're not going to get all of this ED medication that you have in your nightstand built up. When it's time that you need more, you'll get an email from them and they'll ask you, hey, are you ready for another round? And you can respond back. Yes, please refill it, or no, I'm good right now. Thank you. So it's really cool because you don't end up with all these extra pills and spend a bunch of money that you're not, you know, you don't need to spend. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And my favorite part is you don't actually have to go into an office and talk to your family doctor or a military doctor. Um, you can do it all right online from the privacy of your home. Uh you just go to their website, you fill out some forms, the doctor reviews it, approves you, disapproves you, and you move on from there. So if you would like to get some medication, you can go to theswingnation.info, click on the little recommended apps and products, uh, scroll down to the shameless care icon, click on that, and that's gonna take you over there. Uh, there's some discount codes there for you, so you can get a discount off your first order. But uh I highly recommend if you're going to some events or parties, go get you some lifestyle insurance.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

All right, guys, check it out. Lacey, if you're gonna be a swinger, yeah, you need to be a responsible swinger.

SPEAKER_04

I agree.

SPEAKER_01

Uh, and part of being a responsible swinger is getting tested on a regular basis.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Now, something I didn't know is not all STI STD testing is the same.

SPEAKER_04

That is correct.

SPEAKER_01

Not every family doctor fully understands how you should be getting tested.

SPEAKER_04

That is correct. What one doctor thinks is a full panel, another doctor may have a completely different version of that.

SPEAKER_01

And being somebody in the lifestyle and engaging with multiple partners, um what you should be getting tested for is probably if you're not telling your doctor that, what you should be getting tested for is probably different than what they're thinking in their head.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, because they don't know your lifestyle, or or even if they do know your lifestyle, there's a like, for instance, there is a new one called MGen. And we just recently met a doctor at a lifestyle party and said that she had never even heard about it. And so she was awesome that we had educated her on that. So a lot of these doctors don't they don't know it all.

SPEAKER_01

Right. So if you are going to participate in the lifestyle, you probably need to get tested from people that are meant to do this. Yes. Um, so we use I know my status. It's the same people behind talent testing who are the it's a company that tests all the porn stars. So they're used to testing people that um engage with multiple partners, they know all the latest on what STIs are you know coming up and and spreading, and they they track all the stats. I mean, they they know how to test people for STIs. They're the experts.

SPEAKER_04

They are. And if someone that you engage with, you know, if they have used I know my status, they can actually give you a QR code and you can scan it and you can see their results right on your phone. So you can confirm everything that they're telling you.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, 100%. So please, if you're getting tested, get tested the right way. We recommend using I Know My Status. You can go to theswing nation.info, recommended apps and products, scroll down to the I Know My Status icon and you can get a discount off your first test. Um, but please, if you're being uh if you're swinging, if you're engaging with people in the community, please be safe about it. Go get tested.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, because we want you to fuck like a porn star for sure. Dan, so when we're doing the podcast, a lot of times we'll tell the listeners we are filming our content for OnlyFans, right? So how do they find that content if they want to see like the videos that go along with the stories?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, so that's a that's a great question. So you are correct. We do film for OnlyFans. We you know, when we're uh going to clubs and events, we talk about sometimes, oh, we we did OnlyFans with so and so. Uh so if they're interested in that, they can go to theswing nation.info uh and they'll they'll see right there on the front page uh a link to your OnlyFans. We are running promos. We are uh and it could be anywhere from 50 to 80 percent off uh right now.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Um so I think right now it's 80% off. So you'd have to, you know, go grab that right away. But if you like watching Orgies, if you like watching Threesomes, if they want to see you uh take DVP, they want to see how big of a dirty slut you actually are, they can see all that right on your OnlyFans page. Uh, we kind of call it it's like another tier of education.

SPEAKER_04

No, I was about to say that because I think like if you go to some of these major porn sites and you type in like swinging, you're going to find some things, and it it's usually not very good, let's be real. We actually will get and we try to get as many orgies on camera as we can because a lot of people that are joining the lifestyle, they want to see us do a full swap with a couple or they want to see us engage in an orgy. And these are the same people that we will have orgies with at the swinger club. With obviously without the cameras, we just kind of recreate it, you know, at opportunities that we can film. So if you're thinking about joining the lifestyle and you're like, man, I need to know, I need to see like how they're navigating this. Our OnlyFans can be kind of educational, if you ask me.

SPEAKER_01

I agree. So go over to theswing nation.info, click that blue and white button, and uh go sign up today. Yeah, check it out. We appreciate you guys. All right, guys, welcome back, welcome back. Thank you for listening to our sponsors. Uh, we love our sponsors. We do. Uh, okay, so when we left you, we had just finished um talking about emotional connections.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Um, okay, so now the next one on my list uh is number four. Everyone is down for everything. Yeah. Right? Meaning if you walk in the room, people are gonna be fucking and it's a free-for-all.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I think people genuinely think that.

SPEAKER_04

I think they genuinely think that they you like literally open the doors to a swingers club and it's just a big pile of naked bodies and you just gotta jump in. Yeah, and there's no protection.

SPEAKER_01

But to be fair, I think some people have been disappointed when they come to our parties and events, and that's not what happened. They're like, I paid all this money to come to your party and I didn't even get laid. And it's like, well, that that's not on us. Like, you have to make those connections.

SPEAKER_04

There's not an order you write when you walk in the door. Um, to be honest, and like also we get if we come, do we have to hook up with anybody? Like, no, and if anybody tries to make you, like if you ever go anywhere and they say that you have like run, that's a super red flag. Um, but yeah, no, I mean, we've been to plenty of parties and just hooked up with each other. Um, it's there, what would you say the percentage of people that actually hook up at a party is?

SPEAKER_01

I would guess, and I I I have no this is just me looking at parties and and taking a wild guess. I would say around half of the people, or maybe even less, um, have sex at an event.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I would say it's half or less uh of the people that go have sex at the event. I would say I bet 75 to 80 percent of the people that are there want to have sex with somebody. Uh, and then there's probably 25 that are just there for the the energy and the vibe. So that other 25%, you know, struck out, and then 50% of the people actually end up hooking up. And it it it could possibly, I would not be surprised if it's lower than 50% of the people actually hook up. Yeah. Now I think it's longer, you know, if you look at like a secret.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, I would say I'm just like to say I think like secrets, you probably there's probably more because you have you get to know each other over a couple days.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, if I think of like Bliss Cruise and Secrets uh or Hito, especially because we you know we have a small group and we basically know who ends up having sex by the end of the week. Um, it's probably more like 90, 95% at like a secrets or a HEDO, but it's because you have two or three days, right? I think the problem with going to a sex club, you know, or swingers club one night is you have a matter of hours to meet somebody, connect with them, and then go play, especially uh, you know, some of the swinger clubs when they're busy on a Saturday, even if you wanted to have sex with somebody, sometimes all the rooms are full and stuff like that. Um, so I think it's a lower number at those. Um, and then when you go to the bigger, longer events, because you have more time to connect with people, um, I think more people end up having success over over a week, which I guess if you're somebody that has gone to a few swinger parties and struck out, maybe look at, you know, like you know, going to a longer event so that you have a little more time to make those connections.

SPEAKER_04

We struggle if we don't know anybody in a club.

SPEAKER_01

If me and you were to go to a club on a random night, you know, on a Saturday night and went and didn't know anybody prior, I would say there's probably a only a 20% chance that we would end up looking at the city.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, it's really hard. It's you know, to me about the only way that that's really gonna happen is if we like just go to the play random and kind of like get in the middle of things. Uh you have to, I think I would say a lot of people want to play, and it's it's pretty hard to make that transition, at least for me. I get really nervous, like the more I like a guy, the more nervous I get, and it's hard for me to like give them the signs that I'm into. Like I struggle, I struggle with that um personally.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, people all the time say, like, well, how do you guys do it? Like, give me advice on how to like connect with people. You know, we've gone to, you know, I've we've talked to some people that are like, Oh, we've been going to parties for a year and we still have yet to hook up with somebody, and we and you can tell that they that is something they want. And really, when it comes down to it, at the end of the day, I think it's you have to put yourself out there. You do, right? If you just sit in the corner and don't talk to anybody, you're never gonna get laid. And even if you get on the dance floor and are dancing with people, um you did have to like close that deal almost. You have to say, Hey, we're really into you guys. Um, we'd be interested in playing. Are you guys interested? I mean, you have to get to that point, and I'm telling you, everybody there, again, I bet 70 to 80 percent of the people there want somebody to ask them that. Yeah, um, there probably very few people will actually go ahead and be the asker, right? And Lacey gets frustrated with me sometimes because I am quick to just put it out there unless he's like, Oh, you can't just do that. You're you know, you're putting too much pressure. And it's like, baby, you know how this goes. Yeah, if you don't put it out there, it's never gonna happen.

SPEAKER_04

Well, it's like a double-edged sword because I am more introverted. I kind of lean on him to kind of help me do a lot of this. But at the same time, because I'm introverted when he does it, I'm like, oh, why did you do that? You know, or he'll like talk to a guy for me or kind of like you know, turn me to like dance on a guy to kind of like start because he knows I'm too nervous to do it. And like, it's like a devil-edged sort of like, I'm like, don't do that. But then part of me is like, okay, thanks, you know. So I would say if you are a couple that um one struggles, you may have to like help each other. But I feel like I try to help you. Like, if I know that Dan's really into somebody, I try. I'm but again, I'm more introverted and it's a little harder for me. So I probably don't do as good of a job as you do.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and I think this is a good time, you know, this whole myth that everything's down for everything. Um, I think it's a good time to talk maybe a little bit about consent. Yeah. Right? The lifestyle is huge on consent. I think it's there's you will see more consent at a swinger party than you will at a bar downtown, right? If you go to, you know, if we went to Nashville and downtown Broadway, there are dudes slapping girls' asses and doing, you know, should they give a call kinds of stupid shit.

SPEAKER_04

Trying to cut through a club, trying to get out. There's things grabbed. Yes, 100%. I love the lifestyle because of that, you know.

SPEAKER_01

And not to say that those things do not happen. I actually just I saw a Facebook post just today where somebody was saying that this happened to them at a club. Actually, a club I really enjoy and like, and so it's unfortunate that it happened. But that kind of thing can happen. Now, I will say, when it does happen in a swinger environment, people are very quick to correct it on the swing.

SPEAKER_04

Well, because because not everybody there knows that, right? It might have been that person's first time at a swinger club and they did that. But the thing about it is that if you that happens to you and you tell somebody a swinger club, they take that extremely serious, and that person is usually gone at SAP. If you communicate it to the right people, at least. But yeah, you're right. I mean, always asking for permission before touching and all of that is is very important.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and I think you know, the second most important thing to asking for consent is learning to use your voice to say no.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, which is something I've had to learn. I've talked about this on the podcast quite a few times. Before really joining the lifestyle, I've never been in intimate moments with people that I didn't want to have sex with. You know, I wasn't half naked with a guy uh unless I was actively wanting to fuck them. So joining the lifestyle and people asking, it took me a while to be like, no, no, you know, now I don't mind it. And I will tell you no or no, thank you. Or and I try to be respectful because I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, but it's something that you have to learn and you have to understand that if you don't tell them no, and then they and then you kind of Let them believe that you're okay with it, and then you just that's not their that person's fault.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, we've even seen the opposite, you know, and this and this is like an unfortunate thing that happens in the lifestyle that somebody will ask and somebody will say yes, and then afterwards it'll be like, I didn't want to do that. It's like, well, well then why did you like you you have to learn to use your voice. You have to, if it's a no, then say no. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04

Which is hard. It's hard for me to like hurt somebody's feelings. Um but it's my body is more important at the end of the day than somebody getting their feelings hurt.

SPEAKER_01

So and then what about the flip side of that? Um, handling the rejection if somebody tells you no, or if you ask a couple, hey, would you guys be interested in going and playing? And they say, Oh, actually, I think we're good tonight, or uh the best story I people always make up excuses. They're like, Oh, I don't think we're gonna play tonight, and then you see them later on getting dicked down in the playroom.

SPEAKER_04

And my best story is in Naughty, New Orleans, there was this guy, and um, he came up to me and said, Can I kiss you? And I had literally just walked in. Like it was the first day, the first 20 minutes of the entire swinger party. And he kind of took me by surprise. And I was like, No, I think I'm I think I'm okay, but thank you. You know, I hadn't even got a drink yet. This is how quickly, and he goes, It was just a no, it's okay. It's it's just a no, it's okay. And then it was we ended up standing there talking, and one of his goals for the weekend was to put himself out there, and he knew by doing that that he was going to get nos and that he was gonna have to learn how to handle that rejection. And it was like such a vulnerable moment in that. Like I almost kissed him after that, just because like after getting to know him and talking to him, like and seeing his heart, and then I was, you know, attracted to him because I kind of got to know him. You know, it was very odd when he just randomly walked up.

SPEAKER_01

Well, and the the funny thing about that is, you know, it by putting himself out there like that, probably you know, he's gonna get probably a lot of noise, I would I would guess. But part part of that process is he's gonna learn how to approach people better, right? He's gonna learn that, oh, I can't just go up to a girl and say, Do you want to kiss me? I have to go up to him and talk to him a little bit and say, I think you're beautiful, oh, I really like your shirt, or oh, your your nails are beautiful, or where'd you get those shoes, you know, whatever, and and chat with somebody for a little bit and then say, Hey, I you're really beautiful, I'd like to kiss you. Is that okay? Like had he done that, he might have, you know, there might have been a good chance that he did get a kiss. So I think, you know, part of us we're so afraid to put ourselves out there, but that's how you learn, right? That's how one, that's how you get to get get a yes eventually. But two, that's also how you kind of learn how to play the game a little bit, you know.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. And to be honest with you, nobody likes to be told no, or nobody likes um when somebody says, like you said, um, like they kind of like ghost you and then you see them later on fucking somebody. Nobody loves that. It doesn't feel good, you know. Let's be real. It just it's not like the warm, fuzzy feelings. But you almost have to like just like we talked, you know, maybe take a little bit of the emotions out of it, like we, you know, we talked about in the last uh part. Uh but yeah, I think it's it's okay. I think it's also okay to be honest with people. Um if somebody asks you to play and you're just genuinely not interested, it's usually better to be honest. And listen, I need to take my own damn advice here because I've struggled with this too. Because what happens the next night, then they're gonna try to play again, and then you have to like try to avoid them or try to dodge them again. And it's just easier for everyone if you could just look at them and be like, I think you're awesome people, and I think we make great friends.

SPEAKER_01

I'm just not feeling the sexual connection, yeah, and that's okay, not feeling the sexual energy that's gonna be.

SPEAKER_04

You don't want to fuck that you don't want to fuck. And and listen to me before you like clutch your pearls. You don't have to fuck them. Like if there's 10 people in an orgy and you only want to have sex with three of them, just have sex with three of them. Like when when the person comes to want to engage with you, you can say no, thank you. Like it's okay. We get that a lot where it's time to go play, and somebody's like, Well, I don't want who's all going. I don't want that, you know. And I'm like, I'm not doing this. I'm not gonna not invite somebody because you don't know how to use your words, you know? If you're not comfortable playing with somebody, then you just tell them that. But we're not gonna like leave people out because you feel a certain way or it's well, and that's also part of it though, right?

SPEAKER_01

You also realize that if you're going into an orgy, that doesn't mean you can have sex with anybody in that room. You still have to individually go up to everybody as you're engaging with them and ask if it's okay. Yeah. Um, and they yeah, I think that is a process, and I think it's a learning, and I think people don't all always understand that.

SPEAKER_04

But uh Yeah, and I think it has to happen a couple of times, you know, someone has to tell you no, and you have to be like, oh my god. And then the next time somebody tells you no, you're like, Okay, well, that wasn't so bad. And then eventually you kind of learn that it's not personal, but it's just kind of part of it. When you put yourself out there, sometimes you're gonna get dry down.

SPEAKER_01

I can think of a few times where we've been in some of those bigger orgies and play spaces and stuff, and then we get up, we all get up to leave, and like one of the playroom attendants or something will be like, You guys did a really good job of like asking for, you know, we've actually got compliments from our group before from like third parties that are in the room and saying, I really like the way that you guys um you know used used consent and stuff like that, or used your words, and me and Lacey will sometimes we'll make almost like a show of it. Like when we go up to somebody, we'll be like, Hey, is it okay?

SPEAKER_04

Even if you would kind of already know that it is, just to kind of honestly, it's you could also use it as a very hot, sexy thing, too. It doesn't have to be so like rigid. Like, for instance, if Dan asked another husband if he could fuck the wife. I mean, even though he's obviously you're gonna ask the wife because that's you know, whose body you're touching, but like to look at like what I'm gonna say, John, like, hey John, is it okay if I fuck your wife? Like, that is sexy to hear as the wife sitting on the other side watching this. I love that. Like, it turns me on. Yeah, I think there are a few things, you know, like asking if they have latex allergies, which that seems like a stupid thing to think that that's sexy so it's so like just being caring and thoughtful in what is our like a normally not a caring and thoughtful situation goes a long way.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I I do think taking that extra step to make sure when you're having sex with somebody else's partner that the person, that person's partner knows what you're, you know, that you're doing that. I I don't think it's necessary. I think it is on the it's the onus of the the wife or the husband if if they are consenting, it's on them to know that their their partner is okay with them doing what they're about to do too. But um, I do think it's it is kind of like that next level when the other person also asks the partner if it's okay too. Yeah. I do it because we've just had so many times where we've done something and then the uh it was obvious that the other partner was not okay with it. Yeah. Um so I just kind of take the extra more hard to avoid the drama than really it's a necessarily consent thing. Um, but it also is a good way. I mean, we've had a few times where you've gone to the the third, you know, the extra person, that person's partner, you know, you ask them, Hey, is it okay if I fuck you? And they're like, Yeah, please. Oh yeah, fuck the shit out of me. And then you go to their husband and you're like, Hey, is it okay if I fuck your wife? And sometimes I can just look at the husband and say, Yeah, it's just like a good he is not okay. Like, hey, I'd really like to fuck you, but you need to go talk you probably need to go have a conversation with your husband.

SPEAKER_04

Like, what if he can't get hard and he's really struggling and she doesn't realize? I mean, there's like a lot of things around that that yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. What's the last one? Um, and this is kind of on a very similar um ground, but I think it's also important to talk about. You have to swap or play to go to these events or parties.

SPEAKER_04

Sorry, I jumped ahead there, but yeah, a lot of people feel like it's a requirement. Like you have to. And that like I said before, if there is ever a situation where an event organizer or club or whatever makes you feel that way, run fast, get away, never go back. Because that is 100% not okay.

SPEAKER_01

Social media posts, you know, this is because I follow a lot of lifestyle people on our our swing nation social media, but I've seen stuff like, hey, you know, hosting a house party this weekend, only you know, only sh only show up if you're DTF.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Well, what is that how what does that mean? Like, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

What are you putting out there? You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04

Like, I think that's a so let me say this. If you're having like a private house party and let's say you invite three couples, you kinda like I feel like. Well no, but this seems like it's like posted by an open to you know social media.

SPEAKER_01

Like, we are having a party at our house this weekend. Yeah. I assume they, you know, I don't know how many follow you know how many people are seeing that post too, but house parties are like proceed with caution.

SPEAKER_04

Not that I think house parties are bad because I don't, they're fun, but usually you don't have security there. You don't, you know, it's not like an an actual club or eating all that. So I would just proceed with caution.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I would say to me, some of the red flags are especially people that are posting on some of the swinger websites with open house parties.

SPEAKER_04

Like come to our coming and you don't know anybody, who else is coming? Right. You know, are they vetting people?

SPEAKER_01

Are they and let's be honest, people that are in the lifestyle usually have enough if they want like if we wanted to throw a house party, or most of our friends that want to throw a house party, they invite their friends and people they know that they have a connection with, right? And so if it's somebody that doesn't have enough friends to invite to their house for a house, you know what I mean? Like it kind of can be a little bit of a red flag, I think. Yeah, I would think not to say that it can't be done and it can't be successful and it can't, you know, I'm not saying every one of those is bad, but it is a little bit of a red flag to me that most of the house parties that almost I don't know if we've ever gone to a public house party where it's just like show up at my house. No, but also that seems like a good way to maybe get murdered, you know.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Um, but I would say if you're I'm assuming that people who are listening to this are probably like new-ish in the lifestyle, are thinking about it.

SPEAKER_01

I would do more like organized a hotel takeover, even a meet and greet at a bar, um you know, uh clubs. I would say all those are great to go to. Because what like Lacey said, if you go to a meet and greet at a bar, you're in public, right? Nobody's gonna murder you. If you know, if you get uncomfortable, you can leave. You know, it's um especially if you're new and you don't know clubs, they have good reputations, usually there's security, they have rules, you know, like people are vetted, they've you know shown their ID to get in there. Uh, you know, and the same with the like hotel takeovers and stuff like that. But uh random house parties, I think if especially if it's just something that somebody posted online, it could be a way to kind of get yourself in trouble if it's yeah, if it's being hosted by a nefarious actor.

SPEAKER_04

You never have to do anything if anybody makes you feel that way or in just run, just go the opposite way. It's just not there, there's plenty of other parties out there that you will go and and have fun and you don't have to have a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and we actually got there's one when I was looking at that Tuesday talk, because we we we recorded one of those episodes right before this, one of um the questions was around um it's a couple that only plays with females. And they said they've gone to a few parties and events and stuff, and they've said that they feel they may they've been made to feel like by some couples that they're not actual swingers, right? Because they don't full swap, they only are looking to play with wives or single females.

SPEAKER_04

I can kind of get that. Yeah, no, I I I understand, I guess that I'm to be honest with you, like we met, we know a couple that we've known for years, and we were talking to them on the bliss cruise, and I said something, and she goes, Well, I don't fuck guys, I only fuck girls. And they're like total swingers, in my opinion. They go to everything, they're part of the light. Like, so I was very, I was almost like, oh, okay. But like, so yeah, I can see how that would happen. I could see how I maybe I made her even feel that way, you know, because not intentionally, not because I I was just like, oh, you don't fuck guys, you're not like a big hoe like me.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, well, I I mean the real answer is whatever your rules and boundaries are are completely acceptable. Sure. You can go to lifestyle parties and events and not swap. You can go and just watch, you can go and not watch, you can go and just be there for the dance party part of it and never even go into the the back areas and see any of the sexual stuff. Uh, you know, the lifestyle is really whatever you make of it. Now, in practical application, there is some, especially it's funny because if you went to a party as a hot wife couple and the husband didn't play and only the wife played, nobody would say it works. Yeah, right, right. People would be celebrating your ass. They'd be like, Yeah, come on over here, jump in with us, your husband can sit, have a seat over there in the corner, right? Uh and and nobody, and it would be you'd get no negative, well, I don't know, no, but you would get very few negative reactions. There is this stigma in the lifestyle that if your wife isn't playing, right? If you're just looking to fuck if a couple is just looking to fuck girls, there is kind of a stigma around that that you're like unicorn hunting or you're you know, whatever the case may be. I don't know why. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04

I don't either, and I can't really explain it, but also kind of agree in some ways.

SPEAKER_01

The funny thing is you sit out of so many orgies and so you know, there's so many times of the city. And you only watch.

SPEAKER_04

I guess so. I'm like, what's going on behind the scenes? Will he not let her fuck? Or you know, does it he is it a one penis rule? You know, he's getting to fuck all these bitches, but she can't fuck anybody. So I think maybe there's some of that underlying that like it leaves you know that question mark. So I can't explain it, but they're definitely there.

SPEAKER_01

Right. So um, you know, if you are a couple that's only looking to play with females, some people might react negatively to that. Um, but I think once they get to know you, it's you know, as long as you're being true and authentic and you know, you know, whatever the case may be. For sure. Just like this couple, you know, maybe she's got trauma in her past and she doesn't feel comfortable around strange men. You know, there could be a million reasons why that's what you're looking for. Um maybe she just genuinely has no interest in in other men or something like that. Um, but but yeah, be careful with that. Uh, you know, it's it is something that you're gonna apply. But at the bot at the end of the, you know, the bottom line is whatever your rules and boundaries are, whatever way you are looking to play and engage, that's up to you. It's up to you and your partner and nobody else. And if you truly don't want to do things outside of what your rules and boundaries are, don't. And nobody can make you do that. All right. And if people try to pressure you or make you feel uncomfortable or uh, you know, um make you you do something you don't want to do, then that's that's a huge red flag. And and find a new party, find new friends, find new people. Um and you'll be good.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

All right. I think that that basically sums up uh the the list of misconceptions that I had. I hope that helps clear it up. Maybe you're you're sitting at home and you're listening and you had some of those uh preconceived notions about the lifestyle. I think a lot of people do, me and Lacey did before we joined the lifestyle. So um, you know, we don't blame you for having those misconceptions. It's very it's very common, but that's part of what this platform is about, is clearing up some of that stuff so that people know uh the lifestyle is really whatever whatever you make of it. Uh, and there's there's so many options out there of ways to play and engage. And um really it's just an open-minded, sex positive community uh is really the best place to way to explain it. Kind of some of the stuff we talked about at the beginning is um come as you are, we don't care where you come from, we don't care how much money you make, don't care who you voted for in the last election. Uh, all we care about is that you come with an open mind and uh a good heart, good intentions. Yeah. Um, and I think you'll you'll have a positive experience if you go into it um with that preconceived notion.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

All right, anything else for the Swing Nation listeners? We got a couple of things coming up. So this is coming out on Thursday, yeah, which means we are in Gulf Breeze right now. We are, we are setting up um lights and staging and desire spaces and uh which is a playroom. Uh microphones and beds and cabanas and uh uh all the things.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Getting ready for everybody to get here tomorrow.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Uh so the party kicks off at two o'clock is when the music starts. You can show up to the hotel at 2 p.m. Check-ins at three, but we got permission for you to come to the hotel. You can come in at two o'clock. Uh if your room is not ready, which it probably will be, but if for some reason they're still cleaning it or whatever, um, you know, you you you can still come into the party, and then once your room is available, you can put your stuff in your room.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. And there are day passes. It's it's sold out. People have canceled, it's sold out several times now. Um, but if you're hearing this, it's probably sold out. Um you can get day passes, and there's a hotel, another hotel in the same parking lot, which it probably will sell out too. But we're close to Vince Cola. There's uh hotels on every corner. So if you really want to come, just come and get your day pass.

SPEAKER_01

I think we're a little worried about hitting fire code capacity. Um, so you know, definitely don't just show up. Go on um the website, uh, and that's electric uh pleasures.com. Uh, you can also find links to that same website from swingersociety.net. Make sure there's still day passes listed on the website. So as long as the day passes are listed on the website, that means we have not cut them off. Um, but it's looking like we could possibly um hit our we're gonna cut it off about 500 people. Oh wow, because because mostly because that the ballroom, the interior ballroom, you know, that's about the limit um for that. So um so go check it out. So we're expecting close to 500 people, so it's gonna be a pretty crazy party. The weather's looking good. Uh, there was lots of people who were worried it was gonna be 30 degrees outside. Uh it's looking like mid-60s. Uh whether it's gonna rain or not is still kind of up on the but it looked like at least one of the days was sunny and beautiful.

SPEAKER_04

Either way, we have uh a tent, a huge tent for our.

SPEAKER_01

So the the day party is outside. Um, there will be a DJ outside by the pool. Uh that is in a covered tent, and the dance area that's outside by the pool is also in a covered tent. We also have those sand-up outdoor heaters that we are inside those tents. Um, and so if it is cold, you know, if it's almost 70 degrees, we don't we don't need the heaters. But at night, if it starts to get a little chilly, we'll kick those heaters on. Uh, and because you're kind of inside a tent, it it'll be either way, it'll be beautiful dancing weather. Yeah. Uh and hanging out and socializing and getting to know people. Uh, we got a glow show, we got a fire show. We're doing a polar uh bear plunge, we got sexy yoga stretching on Saturday morning. Uh we got a I'm trying to think of I guess I can just say it. There's a handjob class.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_01

Uh on Saturday. I think it's like one o'clock or something like that. Sounds fun. We uh yeah, you need to go. Well, we need to go.

SPEAKER_04

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. We need to go to that class.

SPEAKER_04

I do a fine job.

SPEAKER_01

You do, but I'm sure there, you know, there's maybe some techniques we don't know about. You know, we might learn something.

SPEAKER_04

Why are we doing why are you saying this is we?

SPEAKER_01

Are you trying to say I'll go with you so that if you need um uh you know a dick. Well, not that I need to learn how to I mean I know how to jerk off my dick. I'm I am I could probably teach the class.

SPEAKER_04

Uh but uh okay, moving on.

SPEAKER_01

Um my point is all kinds of fun stuff. Um, there's food available right there at the restaurant. There's gonna be a brunch buffet, a lunch buffet, a dinner buffet. Um, so you can come set up shop and be there all weekend long. Party, have fun. Uh it's gonna be a good time. Yeah. Anything else about that? No, I'll see that. Any last-minute announcements? We got nine different DJs. Oh, wow. They're playing everything from uh Girl Bop to uh dubstep. And so if you are a fan of it's gonna, I mean there's gonna be some more open format DJ stuff, but if you like EDM festival type music, if you if you like dancing and partying, um it's gonna be a place to be. So come check it out.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah. Um, I did want to mention uh after EP will be the Bliss Cruise, which February is basically sold out. Now, listen, if you want to get on that trip, we had somebody reach out to us last week, week before, and we were able to get him. Uh this is the time when people cancel last minute. And so you'll see some stuff pop open. So anytime you are what kind of want to go to something like this last minute, you can always email us at admin at swing or city.net, and we'll do everything we can to connect to you and get you to the right people. April Bliss Cruise still does have some availability, and we will also be on the April Bliss Cruise, which honestly I'm kind of more looking forward to because there's like two beach parties in April.

SPEAKER_01

We've, you know, we've uh been talking a little bit to the Bliss Cruise preparing for this February cruise, uh, and they've been telling us about April. And I somehow I missed this message, I guess. But the April Bliss Cruise, they're actually doing two beach takeovers. And when I say takeovers, I mean there's gonna be DJs, there's gonna be playrooms, there's gonna be a good thing. There's gonna be playrooms, there's gonna be a pop-up dungeon on the beach. Wow. So not only are you gonna have DJs, music, all that, but talk about like bucket lists. Also play spaces and a uh a pop-up dungeon. From what I hear. This is you know, this is rumors from people that work at Bliss. So if it doesn't happen, don't say, well, Dan told me. Well, if there's a playroom good information, insider information that there's gonna be play spaces and a dungeon at least at one, at least at one of the beaches.

SPEAKER_04

Even if it's only me and you, we're fucking in a playroom. On the beach, on the beach, in whatever island. We're at right. That's totally sounds funny. But yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I think it's Montego Bay and Cosmell are the two beach parties. Yeah. So which are both amazing locations.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Uh super excited about that. Right. So February cruise sold out, uh, email email admin at Swinger Society to get on that. But there are still April, if you go to Swingerssociety.net, you can still book rooms for the April cruise, which is extremely unusual. Usually these cruises sell out six months to a year in advance. But I think because they just added the February cruise and February and April are pretty close together. There's also, I think, one or two other lifestyle or lifestyle friendly cruises going around that same time. So I think there's just an abundance of cruising happening in that window. Yeah. Um, so there are some rooms still available. It's going to sell out, but if you are interested, go book that.

SPEAKER_04

And shameless plug, if you use our link, you not only get like all the benefits of going with Bliss, but you also get all the benefits of going with us. You get a swag bag from us, and you get because we are an affiliate of Toplist Travel, you get their perks too.

SPEAKER_01

It's the same price, and it's basically a three first, right? You're basically all the things, everything from Bliss Cruise, everything from Topless, and everything from us.

SPEAKER_04

Yes. And we like, for instance, the February Bliss Cruise, we're taking a pretty big group. We're doing a Zoom call before it is scheduled for like the week we get back from Electric Pleasures, but where we can like all get to know each other and chat and answer questions. So you have us here to help you. It's a little harder to hang out because it's such a big cruise and there's so many people. 3,000 people spread out. But we are here. If you need us, you can message us if you anything you need, we will be right there.

SPEAKER_01

We have a Discord chat room too where you can go and ask questions.

SPEAKER_04

I know I've seen people in there talking about the February cruise and like we're all planning what excursion we're doing and all this stuff. So it's it's definitely there's a perk for booking with us, and we appreciate it.

SPEAKER_01

100%. Uh I also have insider information that they booked a new production company, and it may or may not be the same production company they're using for uh groove crews. Oh wow. So if you know that, that's like the big EDM cruise where they, you know, lasers and lights. So it's actually next week. Yeah. So there's a there's a rumor that they're using the same production company. So if you've been, you know, if you've been less than impressed with Bliss's um production in the past, I think you're gonna be impressed on these upcoming cruises.

SPEAKER_04

Good. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

All right, anything else for the Swing Nation listeners? That's it. All right, we'll see you guys at Electric Pleasures and we'll see you on the February Bliss cruise. Go book your April cruise today. Uh there's a bunch of uh we're going to Electric Pleasures in Atlanta in March. And then stay tuned. While we're at Electric Pleasures this weekend, we're actually gonna drop a secret June party for Electric Pleasures. Um, that's in a pretty cool location for June. So if you're looking for a party in June, um, go to swingersight.net. That will be out this weekend.

SPEAKER_04

Yep.

SPEAKER_01

All right, anything else for Twin Nation listeners?

SPEAKER_04

That's it.

SPEAKER_01

All right, guys. I think with that, in a whirl full of apples, be the pineapple. Be the pineapple, guys. Bye. Bye.

SPEAKER_00

If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Swinger content creators on our Swinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at thustwingnation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to thustwingnation.net and keep up to date on all things Swing Nation. We thank you so much for joining us, and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.