Tuesday Talks: AI Catfishing, Fake Abs & Real-Life Letdowns

Tuesday Talks: AI Catfishing, Fake Abs & Real-Life Letdowns | Episode 100

In this episode of The Swing Nation Podcast, the top-rated podcast about non-monogamy and swinging, Dan and Lacy are back with another Tuesday Talks, answering real listener questions from inside the lifestyle.

This week, they hear from a frustrated fan who’s fed up with what they’re calling the catfishing epidemic — and it’s only getting worse with AI. From flawless skin, perfect outfits, and six-packs online to a very different reality in person, they’re wondering: how do you handle it? Do you call people out? Ask for verification pics or videos? Or just move on?

Dan and Lacy dive into the growing disconnect between online profiles and real-life expectations, sharing their thoughts on vetting, setting boundaries, and protecting your time and energy. They talk about practical ways to verify who you’re talking to without killing the vibe, and how to navigate those awkward moments when reality doesn’t match the hype.

Whether you’re new to the lifestyle or a seasoned swinger, this episode is packed with real-world advice on spotting red flags, avoiding disappointment, and keeping your experiences fun, sexy, and drama-free. Don’t miss this honest conversation on catfishing, AI, and the new reality of online connections.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

This podcast is intended for adult audiences over the age of 18. It contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice.

SPEAKER_03 0:22

Welcome to the Swing Nation Podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe. Interview the experts. Learn and grow together. Join the nation.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Tuesday talks. Just send your questions to Dan and Lights and Tuesday talks. Swing Nation got you feeling sexy. Tuesday talks.

SPEAKER_01 1:01

Talking Tuesday with Dan and Lacey. How about that high note?

SPEAKER_03 1:07

That was perfect. Hey there, pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We are your hosts, Northern Guy and Southern Girl. And we are back with another rendition of Tuesday Talks.

SPEAKER_01 1:19

We are. Talking Tuesday with Dan and Lacey. Wacey! Some lady on my TikTok said that she cracks up every time she does it because her name is Wacey. And she literally?

SPEAKER_03 1:32

That's not a real name.

SPEAKER_01 1:33

It was literally her profile name on TikTok.

SPEAKER_03 1:36

Nobody's name is Wacey.

SPEAKER_01 1:38

W-A-C-E-Y is how it was spelled.

SPEAKER_03 1:42

They're trolling you.

SPEAKER_01 1:43

Oh, maybe.

SPEAKER_03 1:44

Have you ever heard of anybody in your life named Wacey?

SPEAKER_01 1:47

I don't know, but I'm there's a lot of fucking names I've never heard of. I'm telling you, that's what it's.

SPEAKER_03 1:51

There's no way that's real.

SPEAKER_01 1:52

Okay, I'm gonna try to.

SPEAKER_03 1:53

If your name is Wacey, please send us an email with a screenshot of your name on your driver's license. No, don't you can blur everything out.

SPEAKER_01 2:02

Do not send your driver's license. Just send us an email and be like, Lacey is correct. Dan is wrong.

SPEAKER_03 2:08

Wacey?

SPEAKER_01 2:10

Hush it. Hush it.

SPEAKER_03 2:11

They're messing with you.

SPEAKER_01 2:12

Okay, that's fine. I'm just telling you what was said.

SPEAKER_03 2:15

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:15

Okay, anyway. Welcome to the show. Tuesday talk. Um, we have a good, we have a really cute email.

SPEAKER_02 2:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:23

Yeah. So it says, um, hi Dan and Lacey. The catfishing thing is becoming an epidemic in the lifestyle we found. AI is the new filter. So many profile pit photos are using filters that change the way people look and cannot live up in real life. Only now it's even worse. The last three couples we met both used AI to not only make their skin flawless and bodies look completely different, but even dress them in perfect fitting clothing and put them in an environment that wasn't real, but looked real. We suspected a small bit of trickery, but never realized how serious it was until meeting. One of the couples showed him with the chiseled eight-pack, and her was what we could only describe as a princess. When we met in person, he had a belly of being six months pregnant, and she looked like she could have been a distant cousin of her photo. So now we're wondering: is it not worth the hassle of getting ready and driving anywhere to meet? Because these photos never match. And it's just as bad when you go take over go to a takeover because we make our decisions to go based on who's attending, only to learn once again the pictures do just do not match. Question is, how do you handle the in-person meeting of an obvious catfish? We've never said anything so far and always just have a few drinks and then chat and chat and then leave and ghost them. And how would you move forward? Do you suggest asking for a photo from today, holding a spoon upside down, etc.? It's not a weird and confrontation. Isn't that a weird and confrontational way to start a friendship? The bad thing is trying to just go to an event without run up, without any run-up to build momentum is quite difficult itself. So we like the idea of breaking the ice online when it works, of course. Sign frustrated with photos. Great email, by the way.

SPEAKER_03 4:23

Great email. Okay, so there's there's a lot to unpack in there. All right. So the first thing they're talking about is this rise of editing photos with AI.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

I think this is going to be an issue in dating, period, not lifestyle only. Like think about Tinder, think about Snapchat. Think about so this is not just a lifespan lifestyle thing. This is across the board for sure.

SPEAKER_03 4:47

Okay, so let's let's just spend a few minutes on photo editing and the use of AI or heavily editing photos in general. Okay, so full transparency. We use that kind of technology when we edit our photos, right?

SPEAKER_01 5:01

Yeah, more so like to take away a bruise. Or sometimes, like I do get a little self-conscious of my belly. So sometimes I'll have you like just smooth that out a little. Um, but in no way do we change the shape or the face. We don't add makeup, we don't add, we don't do any of that. We do smooth a little, you know, but it's more of like, let's just take away the bruises because I just got fucked by the case.

SPEAKER_03 5:26

Yeah, and I and I have mixed, I have mixed feelings about this, right? So I think, you know, photo editing, I guess, with AI is a new thing. But photo editing is not a new thing. Like, you know, uh do you think it's Playboy covers, you know, Victoria's Secrets. Every time you put a female body or anybody's body up in a public place, um, it's being edited.

SPEAKER_01 5:48

Correct. But here's the difference. I think with the new technologies, it's become much more readily available to your average person. Correct. Where before, you know, you would get things edited if you had them done by a professional. Now just about anybody can download some sort of editing software, and then five minutes you could be a pro editor. That's the difference here.

SPEAKER_03 6:08

No, I agree. And I think to your point, I think some of it's okay, right? Because honestly, if you take a picture of, if I took a picture of you right now, the picture isn't going to do, you know, like the color isn't captured exactly right, you know. So some level of like color grading and fixing and maybe, you know, changing the lighting a little bit to make you pop, like I think that's okay.

SPEAKER_02 6:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:29

I do think for us, when I try to edit your pictures and post them online, and and listen, people can go look at our Instagram page, and there's probably pictures on there, you're gonna say that's over edited or Dan edited. And I do all the editing myself, right?

SPEAKER_01 6:39

Sometimes you get a little carried away and I have to reel you back in. And sometimes I you post a picture, I'm like, why the fuck didn't you take that? Why didn't you fix that? So it's like a little bit of both, you know, give or take.

SPEAKER_03 6:50

Yeah, what I try to stick to is what you just talked about is I try to I'll edit, you know, I'll fix the colors, I'll I'll, you know, change the lighting a little bit, I don't make your boobs bigger, I don't make your ass bigger or smaller, I don't tighten your waist, I don't, you know, none of I'm not editing your actual body, right? And I think for me, the the hardest part is your face. And and this is why when you some of these AI tools, you run it through the tool and it just does what it does, right? You can't really, it doesn't give you a lot of finessing.

SPEAKER_01 7:21

Well, and if you're not you're not really good at it and you're not doing it a lot, you'll probably just run it through there and throw it up somewhere because you don't know how to fix that. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:29

And that and I think that's the thing is some of these people are just using these automated AI tools that just do it a quick run over and they do everything all at once, and they're kind of stuck with that picture. You know, I've gotten better at, like you're saying, finessing it a little bit. So, like, yeah, okay, yeah, it's maybe smooth, you know, may it maybe remove some of the black under your eyes, but it didn't like make your whole face look like a plastic Barbie doll. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 7:51

So you know But I don't think that's what he's talking about here, to to take up for this guy. I think what he's saying is when people completely change their image and they're posting them on these dating sites and presenting themselves to be that way, but then showing up and and they're not that way. So I think what you're talking about and what he's talking about is a little different.

SPEAKER_03 8:11

Right. So my view on what he's talking about, right? If you are taking your body and you have a beer gut and giving yourself six-pack abs, or if you are a A cup or a B cup, and all of a sudden now you have double D boobs. You know, if you're doing that, one I feel bad for you because it probably means that you have low self-esteem.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

And you don't have to be in this lifestyle, you know, there is someone out there for everyone. You don't like, you don't have to try to be something you're not because at the end of the day, you're gonna show up and you're gonna disappoint them. You know, it's kind of like the guy who tells everybody he has a big dick and then he gets in the room and it's just average. And you know what? There's nothing wrong with average, but if he hadn't hyped it up to be this massive thing, he kind of made people have disappointment, you know, if he just wouldn't have led with that. It's sort of the same thing, just be you, you know.

SPEAKER_03 9:03

I I agree 100% with that. So I think one, I feel bad for you because I think you have insecurities that you need to address. And two, I think it is morally and ethically wrong to do that because you are catfishing, you are you are essentially deceiving people in the hopes to have a sexual relationship with them, right? So I the only thing I can think of that these people must be thinking is well, they probably wouldn't meet me in person if they saw the real me, but if I can edit my pictures and lure them in and they already show up at the the club or the hotel the dinner. Well, they already, you know, we're already there, so they might as well fuck me.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

I don't want anybody to fuck me if that's how they feel.

SPEAKER_03 9:45

When I was single, I've experienced this catfishing thing, right? And and I I assume it works for these women because the hardest part is like getting to your hotel room, right? And once you're there, if a girl shows up and you're already there and you're like, well, I could either one be really awkward and be like, you look nothing like your pictures, get it the hell out of here, or you go through with it, right? And I think what these people are hoping, and this is you know, the experiences I had when I was single, is well, if I'm already there and I'm already in the room, they're just gonna go through with it. I might not be exactly what they wanted, but if I can get 90% of the way there, there's a better chance of them going that next 10%. Which is sad, which is 100% sad. But if it didn't work, I don't think anybody would do it. So I think there is some level of this catfishing trick works because otherwise, why why are people doing it? Other than just the insecurity.

SPEAKER_01 10:31

I think it's the insecurity. No, so I guess let's get to his question though, because he said one of the parts he asked is okay, what do you do if you show up to a date and the person looks like that? You know, do you say something? Do you not? Personally, I don't think you say something. I think those people are dealing with insecurities and you being confrontational and being like, hey, you know, I should I showed up here and you look nothing like, I mean, will it give you some satisfaction? Maybe, but it's probably just gonna hurt them more. And I'm sit, I'm very sensitive to people's feelings, and I can tell Dan does not agree with that. But I'm sensitive. You know, I don't, I don't, I don't could you imagine if we sat down to dinner and some guy looked at me and said, you know, I was really excited about coming here, but you don't look at anything like you do on mine. And I we're gonna dip. I would probably cry right there in the bar, you know. Um, so I think in this case for me, and I'll let you give your what you think, but in this case for me, I think I would just, you know, like it was nice meeting y'all. We can be friends, but I'm not feeling a connection here. I'm not feeling a connection here. That's how I would handle it. Is it right? Probably not. Should we probably be honest? And I think like last week we talked about being honest and being able to communicate in the lifestyle, and I do think we should be able to do that, but I'm also not in the business of like actively hurting people's feelings.

SPEAKER_03 11:50

So I think in this case, I would just take it as a loss and yeah, I don't think, and and I guess I I have mixed feelings about this too, right? Because I don't think you are wrong for confronting them and say, I don't either, listen, you know, person. You know, you you clearly, you know, have deceived us and cat, you know, like you don't look anything like the pictures that you sent us online. And because of that, I feel uncomfortable now and I feel deceived, and I think we're gonna step away. But I w, you know, I hope the best for you. And you know, I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

SPEAKER_01 12:21

No, and like I think there are there is a type of person that can can say that gracefully with respect. I would just probably cry as I was telling someone that. So for me, it just doesn't work. But I think if you can handle, like if you like have the emotional intelligence to be able to like say that to someone, I think that's awesome. Right.

SPEAKER_03 12:40

And then the other, the other, I guess you either confront them directly or what you're saying is just sit through the dinner and maybe get to know them. Maybe they are still nice people, even though you know, physical attraction is not everything. So there is something to be said for sitting through the dinner and getting to know this person, um, and maybe getting to understand why they feel so insecure about themselves that they had to modify their picture so drastically uh and present themselves that way to you. So I there's nothing wrong with that. Um, I also think, you know, I what he said is they just dip, like they sneak away. Didn't they say something about no?

SPEAKER_01 13:10

They said they they just like leave and then they just don't talk to him again. They go some after the fact. I also don't think like I think it might be a better conversation for maybe like when you get home, be like, hey, y'all seem like really awesome people. But I'm gonna be honest, your pictures did not look like anything that you like in person. And I really, you know, and you could probably come from like a sweet, kind place. Like, you know, I don't really think you need to do that. I think you're you're selling yourself short, kind of setting people up for different expectations. I don't know. The answer is we don't we don't know the answer. That's the answer. I think treat people the way that you would want to be treated. Obviously, we don't try to catfish people, so therefore we wouldn't have this reaction, but we still know that there's there's probably some deep insecurities there that we're not aware of.

SPEAKER_03 14:00

Yeah, and I think we even still to this day struggle a little bit of where is the line between brushing up your pictures and making them presenting yourself in the best way and and present it or presenting yourself in a di deceitful way. I I you know I still I I I don't know where that line, yeah, that that line is. I kind of wish we all could just take raw images and post them, but I that but that's not the world we live in. Unfortunately. Um and I honestly, you know, I still do think that if I take a picture of you with uh even the nicest, newest iPhone, that that picture isn't necessarily an accurate representation of you.

SPEAKER_01 14:38

You know, because the color could be off or the you know Well, to be honest with you, I don't think you're the most photogenic, and I mean this in the most loving, kindest way. And when we meet people, a lot of times they'll say to you, Oh, you're like way different in person than you were. You know, so I just do think that that people are just not, you know, and so like and to get to the second part of his question and not to make this a super long podcast, but like his question, this next question is, what do you do? How do you navigate this? Like, how do you meet people online? How do you go to hotel takeovers? How do you do this? The truth is for me, is you can look at a picture all day long, but I'm not gonna know if I really want to fuck you until I walk in and meet you. You could be the most attractive guy there, and I could walk up to you and you could be like not my vibe. You know, you could just open your mouth and start talking, and I could be immediately like this guy, even though you are so attractive, but I could just be like, you know what? It's not, it's it's not vibing for me. You could also be the a mediocre guy, maybe a solid six, five. And then pictures, I would be like, I don't think so. But then I meet you in person and you're funny, you make me laugh, you're just like, you're out there dancing, you're having a lot of fun. And then I would be like, absolutely, I want to fuck you. Yeah, and that's why I mean my response to him is Dan and I have really gotten away from looking at pictures online, and I understand what he's saying about like he uses the RSVP list to determine where he wants to go. We don't do that, we don't ever look at RSVP. A lot of people do, but a lot of people do, and it's not a bad thing. I'm not, I'm not criticizing you. We look at parties based on the reputation of the party itself. For example, is it well run? Is there security? Is the hotel, does a hotel takeover nice? Is it a nice club? To clean it, you know, what what rules, what standards do they have? You know, what's the price point? I don't want to go to the cheapest thing. I also don't want to go to the most expensive place either. You know, there's like a good middle ground. That's really what we use to find cool and awesome parties and also talking to our friends. Like if our friends went to something last year, like on the way here, we were kind of talking about this, and Dan brought up Purgatory in Texas. We've never been there, but we have so many friends.

SPEAKER_03 16:53

That is an event that is on our bucket list, and it's on our bucket list because we have so many friends that have gone and been like, man, that was an awesome party, or man, we had a good experience there. So I do think getting a pulse of your friends and getting a pulse from the community of, okay, hey, if I'm going to this city or going to this place, or I really want to do a vacation this year, where should I go? You if you if you get involved in this community, a lot of that word of mouth is is way more important than an internet posting and how many. Listen, I know there are groups out there that fake their RSVP lists, right? There's ways to do that kind of stuff. And I'm not advocating for it. I think it's terrible, but my point is you can't, you cannot go off of just the things you can do.

SPEAKER_01 17:32

And also, people are gonna change their mind. You know, people might click it, but not actually have not bought tickets, or maybe they bought tickets and then they're not gonna go or whatever. So, you know, that honestly that's how we and I can't give you, I can't tell you what to do. I can just tell you what we do. So that's what we do. We also don't really message people and meet them like at a bar or something. If people message us, and let's just say they are like the finest couple out there and they really catch our eye. If they message us and we do actually really want to meet them, we're gonna be like, hey, next week we're gonna be at Trapeze, or we're gonna go to Tempted in Louisville, Kentucky, or we're gonna be at Naughty in New Orleans and we see you're in Louisiana. Why don't you come? You know, then that way, you know, we get to the party, they don't show up. It don't matter.

SPEAKER_02 18:22

Right.

SPEAKER_01 18:23

They show up and we're not vibing. It doesn't matter. We just don't put a whole lot of like stock in like we're gonna go out on a Friday night. And even I think, and I do understand that we are very privileged and we get to travel the world and go to these amazing parties, and not everybody gets that privilege.

SPEAKER_03 18:40

So let me say, like, not the most cost-effective way to do that.

SPEAKER_01 18:44

But let's say you're in your hometown and you find a couple that you, you know, you're kind of vibing with, why don't you and your spouse say, hey, you know, it's Friday night, why don't we go to our local bar and have a drink, just the two of us? And then I'll message that couple if they want to show up and just kind of get a vibe check. And if they show up, awesome. We can meet them. If they don't, that's fine too. Me and you are just gonna have like a little date night, you know? And maybe get you and your spouse go to dinner and then after go and have a drink. And then if they show up and they're, you know, your cup of tea, you can be like, hey, you know, your pit, you look like your pictures, I'm vibing with you. You know, you want to set up a time that we can really get to know each other. Um, I think that's a good way. I've also seen, you know, like I know you asked about holding the picture with a fork. I've also seen people do like live video calls or FaceTime. I agree that is not the easiest way to start a friendship. But if your time, like let's say you have small children and your time is limited, it might have to be something.

SPEAKER_03 19:41

Yeah, I know, you know, we because we haven't done this for a while. We used to use Kik, and there was when you took a picture with the Kick app, it would say like it gave like a little icon or something that showed that you got it was taken with the app and so it you know wasn't AI'd or filtered or whatever. And I think Snapchat, isn't there a way now you can do Snapchat? I think so.

SPEAKER_01 19:57

And there's a way to like, hey, um, before we go and sit down for a day, you don't have to do it like like you can brush around the subject. You can be like, hey, we don't get to go out very often. And before we like really sit down and take, could do you care if we hop on like a 15-minute FaceTime call and we can just kind of like see if there's a mutual connection so that way we don't have to sit through an awkward dinner if it wasn't, you know, I think if somebody approached it like that to me and I was really into them and I wasn't afraid to show them, I would be comfortable with that.

SPEAKER_03 20:25

Yeah, and I think you could almost do the same thing like we do with STI tests, right? You could like take a Snapchat picture or take a unfiltered, raw picture of yourself and send it to them and be like, hey, here's an unfiltered picture of us. You know, I just hate it when people catfish us, and so I just wanted you guys to know what we really look like. It would almost like it's your ass. Basically pressuring them to do the same thing, right?

SPEAKER_01 20:45

Yeah, so I think there's like strategic ways to go about it without being an asshole, you know? Yeah, but you would also be like, hey guys, we have a one-year-old and we only get one night out a month, and the last three people we've met look nothing like their pictures. So we're gonna send you this live video of us so you can see that we are who we are. And like, do you mind doing this?

SPEAKER_03 21:06

Do you mind doing the same initiative? There's anything wrong with it.

SPEAKER_01 21:08

And there's nothing personal, it's just we don't have a lot of time. And I think that's okay too.

SPEAKER_03 21:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:14

So all right. Well, I do agree what that this is an issue. It is an issue.

SPEAKER_03 21:19

Yeah. All right. So I hope that helps answer your Tuesday talk uh question. If you have a Tuesday talk question, we would love to hear from you. There's a few different ways you can get a hold of us. You can email us at theswing nation at gmail.com. The swing nation at gmail. You can also send us voice files to that email if you've recorded yourself, or you can call or text, and that phone number is 972 302 7716. One more time.

SPEAKER_01 21:49

972 302 7716.

SPEAKER_03 21:52

All right. So uh shoot us a text, uh, shoot us a voice note if you got a message for us. Uh we could we could use some more questions. So we'd love to hear. From you.

SPEAKER_01 22:01

Yes, we're we can't wait to hear from you. Sorry, I was reading. Somebody oh, because you know, I said I would respond to text as somebody was asking for a link, and I anyway.

SPEAKER_03 22:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 22:11

I was reading his text because you asked me for the phone number.

SPEAKER_03 22:14

Any any good dick pics in there that now you're looking at the phone?

SPEAKER_01 22:16

Um, no dick pics, but some pretty cute. Um the the thing is is people want like a response immediately and we're not good at that. Like somebody was like, hey, we're trying to get last-minute spring break plans. Where are y'all going? And truth is we're we're nowhere. We're going to let your pleasures, they're going to temptations. They book temptations, which jealous. Um, but yeah, it's definitely some cute pictures. Oh, he's a he's a haughty. They look like temptation people. Yeah. They're cute. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:42

All right. So shoot us a text, uh, send Lacey some dick pics, uh, send us your questions. We'd love to hear from you. Anything else for the Swing Nation listeners?

SPEAKER_01 22:50

No, that's it.

SPEAKER_03 22:51

All right. I think with that, in a world full of apples, be the pineapple. Be the pineapple, guys. Bye. Bye. If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Swinger content creators on our Swinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at theswing nation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to theswing nation.net and keep up to date on all things swing nation. We thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.