Tuesday Talks: First Time Hotwife - Clubs or Connection First?

Tuesday Talks: First time Hotwife - Clubs or Connection First?  | Episode 104

In this episode of The Swing Nation Podcast, the top-rated podcast about non-monogamy and swinging, Dan and Lacy are back with another Tuesday Talks, answering a heartfelt question from a listener stepping into the lifestyle for the very first time.

After 35 years of marriage, this listener is finally ready to explore her hotwife journey—but isn’t sure where to begin. She shares her desire to connect with a bull on a more personal level, and wonders if a swingers club is the right first step. Dan and Lacy break it all down, explaining why a club environment might not align with what she’s looking for right now, and how intention matters when entering the lifestyle.

They offer practical advice on where and how to meet single males, how to vet and build genuine connections, and what to expect along the way. And for those still curious about the club scene, they also share tips on how to make the most of the experience if she does decide to go.

Whether you’re brand new or just navigating a new dynamic in your relationship, this episode is all about starting with clarity, confidence, and communication.

🎧 Tune in now to hear Dan and Lacy’s advice and take your next step in the lifestyle the right way.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice.

SPEAKER_02 0:22

Welcome to the Swing Nation Podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe. Interview the experts. Learn and grow together. Join the nation.

SPEAKER_00 0:52

Just do your questions. Tuesday talk. Tuesday talk.

SPEAKER_01 1:01

Talking Tuesday with Dan and Lacey. Ooh. How about that high note?

SPEAKER_02 1:07

That's perfect. Hey there, pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We are your hosts, Northern Guy and Southern Girl. And we are back with another Tuesday talk episode.

SPEAKER_01 1:18

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:19

Talking Tuesday.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

Dan and Lacey.

SPEAKER_02 1:23

Wacey, the Wastinator.

SPEAKER_01 1:26

Oh god.

SPEAKER_02 1:26

The Waystonator.

SPEAKER_01 1:28

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 1:29

She's like the Terminator, but she with dicks.

SPEAKER_01 1:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:33

The Diconator. The Wastinator.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:37

Yeah. Because you like destroy the dicks.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

I do like some dicks. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, let's just move on.

SPEAKER_02 1:43

Waystonator.

SPEAKER_01 1:44

Let's just move right along here. This week's Tuesday talk comes via text.

SPEAKER_02 1:51

Via text, because Lacey left the phone at the house.

SPEAKER_01 1:53

Yes. And we're trying to get these done. We have a busy live.

SPEAKER_02 1:58

Secrets is like maybe this week, if you're listening to this, I don't know when this is going to get posted. Uh, and then we've got bliskers right behind it. So we got to start racking up saving some files. Yeah. So we can get these out. Yeah. So that, you know, because you guys don't want to miss an episode.

SPEAKER_00 2:11

No.

SPEAKER_02 2:12

You don't want an episode where you go to on YouTube and you're expecting to listen to Dan and Lacey and see our beautiful faces on your TV while you're drinking your morning coffee and have us not be there.

SPEAKER_01 2:23

They freak out if it does it. It's not there.

SPEAKER_02 2:25

So here we go.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

Yes. Um, okay. So today's question says, Hey, hi Lacey. My name is Michelle. My husband and I are 59 and very fit. We have been married 30.

SPEAKER_02 2:36

Hi, Lacey.

SPEAKER_01 2:37

Hi Lacey.

SPEAKER_02 2:38

No, there's no Dan there?

SPEAKER_01 2:39

Nope.

SPEAKER_02 2:39

All right. Next question.

SPEAKER_01 2:40

Okay. No. We have been married.

SPEAKER_02 2:43

I don't even get I don't even get it dressed. You picked up I'm not even part of this conversation. I might as well just go sit down somewhere else. I'm gonna get up and leave.

SPEAKER_01 2:50

That's fine.

SPEAKER_02 2:51

All right.

SPEAKER_01 2:51

We have been married 35 years together, 40 plus, and he has always wanted to see me sleep with another man. And I'm finally on board. We tried to go to a club in DC last year there on business, but we left because it was in a very bad area. We live in Florida on the West Coast and have looked into Miami Fort Lauderdale clubs, but they are very Spanish and we don't speak that. Do you know of any other good clubs in Florida? We have never been with anyone since we've been married. I don't think we would hook up with anyone that night. I like to get to know them, but it's a sexy start. Thanks for your help. Just listen to another podcast of hers. Love them.

SPEAKER_02 3:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 3:32

So it's a lot to unpack there.

SPEAKER_02 3:34

Few things. So let's go through it. Married 35, going on 40 years.

SPEAKER_01 3:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:39

And her husband has always wanted to see her sleep with another man.

SPEAKER_01 3:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:43

Which is Congratulations on him for being consistent.

SPEAKER_01 3:46

Yeah, well, and that's not uncommon. A lot of people get in the lifestyle because the husbands express they want to see.

SPEAKER_02 3:52

Yeah, I think it's the top. Right. It's either the girl is curious about being with other girls. Yeah. That's probably number one. But number two is husbands want to see their wives get dicked down by other guys.

SPEAKER_01 4:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:02

Uh, you know, lots of husbands do. Yeah. Like it's more common than you think.

SPEAKER_01 4:06

So before we deep dive into the next part, let's kind of talk about that for a second. We obviously don't have a ton of time, but I think it's worth bringing up because this is something that so many men are into. I think a lot of men say they want to see their wives get fucked by another man. I don't think they really think about what that means. So to her husband, let's talk about that.

SPEAKER_02 4:30

Let's have a talk with your husband.

SPEAKER_01 4:31

You need to be prepared that your wife is going to come in ways that you've never made her come, and you're gonna have to be okay with that. Because nine times out of ten, she's she's gonna fucking love it.

SPEAKER_02 4:44

She's going to Well, if just think about this. All right, they've been married 35, going on 40 years or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 4:48

He knows all of her.

SPEAKER_02 4:50

She probably hasn't had another man touch her for those 35 years, right? So even if this guy is mediocre doesn't know what the fuck he's doing, just the excitement of a new guy touching her is gonna put her in a different place where she hasn't been in 35 years, right?

SPEAKER_01 5:07

And so she might make noises that you've never heard her make. She might squirt, she might, I don't know, she might come in ways that you've never seen her. And so before you engage in this, you need to make sure that your manhood can handle that. Because a lot of times we've seen this happen and the man is is not okay because he didn't, he he in his mind, it's porn, right? And in his mind, it's gonna look so different, but in reality, it can it can be a little bit harder to digest.

SPEAKER_02 5:41

Yeah, I think that's true. I think we you don't know what type of jealousy or insecurities you are could experience until it gets triggered, right? So it's kind of you know, this is an emotional state that you're gonna be in. And sometimes you get triggered and you maybe you don't think it, right? Like maybe you watch all this hot wife porn and you think it's hot, but then seeing your wife actually experience it, it could trigger something with inside of you. And this is not just be prepared for that, right? Have a safe word, have you know, something, right?

SPEAKER_01 6:09

And this is not to discourage you from doing this, do it's fucking amazing, you know. Um, but just emotionally, just to protect you and your heart. Have a plan for that. Yeah, have a plan for that going into it. Right.

SPEAKER_02 6:22

Talk about hey, if I get triggered by this experience, what are we gonna do? Yeah, is there a word I can say? Is it you know, and maybe even talk to the guy about it? Like, hey, we've never done this before. I really want to see it, I'm really excited. But if for some reason I get triggered by it, then we're gonna say this word and we'll just we'll just all stop. And most guys, especially if they're an experienced bull, have been doing this for a while, totally will understand that.

SPEAKER_01 6:42

Yeah, and if they don't, then they're not the guy.

SPEAKER_02 6:44

Ask the wrong guy. Find another better guy.

SPEAKER_01 6:46

So it sounds like they've been trying to go to clubs, they try to go to one in DC. It was in a bad area. Um, honestly, that's pretty common.

SPEAKER_00 6:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:53

Uh if you just get through the doors, it usually will be much. Like, for instance, we're gonna talk about Trapeze Fort Lauderdale here. It's in a shopping mall. It's next door to a pawn shop.

SPEAKER_02 7:04

If you pulled into Trappe's Fort Lauderdale parking lot and left, I would not be surprised. It is an amazing club.

SPEAKER_01 7:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:12

You just got to get through the doors.

SPEAKER_02 7:13

So let me Miami Velvet kind of similar, it's kind of in a little bit of a sketch area, but great, great club.

SPEAKER_01 7:18

Most clubs that we have been to from the outside don't look like much. And that's kind of on purpose. Right. You know, they also have to kind of put them in these spots because it's very hard to put a swingers club, you know, in the middle of they don't get the best retail property for some for some reason.

SPEAKER_02 7:33

Yeah. If you go to, you know, somebody that owns property and say, I want to start a swingers club here, you know, not the most premier real estate rental companies rent to you.

SPEAKER_01 7:43

So if you're wanting to go to a slinger club, just know that going in. You know, don't judge a book by its cover, walk through the doors. I mean, I have been to lots of clubs and know this. And when we pulled into Trapeze Fort Lauderdale, I was like, what the fuck? What is this?

SPEAKER_02 7:58

But get inside. Trapeze Fort Lauderdale. We have a tour video on YouTube. Go check it out. It's a beautiful club. Uh honestly, if you're in that area, that neck of the woods, uh, that would be the one I would recommend.

SPEAKER_01 8:06

Yeah, so that's her next part of the question is they live in Florida, where's the best place? So yeah, she you are correct. South Florida, there is a very like heaven Latin Spanish.

SPEAKER_02 8:17

Well, welcome to South Florida, though. But Trapeze is a mixed crowd, though. It is.

SPEAKER_01 8:22

They do have Latin night. They do have so you obviously are going to want to find you go on like a Saturday night, you're gonna have a good disposed crowd. Yeah. But I'm going to say this: you sound like you need to get to know the person first. So I don't know if going to a club and just meeting someone and hooking up is your vibe. To me, you seem like you need to get to know somebody and have a good conversation. And it's, you know, and I'm assuming your husband probably does too. I mean, like, if I and I can't speak for your husband, but I know if I had been married to somebody for 35 years, I would have a hard time just like throwing them out into the wall. Not that that that's what he's doing, but like I'd want to like have a conversation when the music's not too loud and where you can talk and you can talk about boundaries and you talk about protection and when was he last tested? That's kind of the vibe I get from her from reading this. You kind of agree?

SPEAKER_02 9:12

No, I agree. Yeah. And so as somebody that's that kind of did this bull thing for a while, and you know, hot wife's were kind of my specialty for there for a year or two. Um, my suggestion to to you, if you're trying to have your first hot wife experience, which is that's what we call it when a female engages with a single male, um the way I've seen it work the best is uh have your husband like get on STC, SLS, Cassidy, uh you're in Florida, I think that's SDC, maybe SLS country, SLS or SDC, uh thswing nation.net free links or thswing nation.info, free links to all the lifestyle websites for a free trial. Uh so get on SLS, get on Cassidy, um or sorry, get on SLS, get on SDC. Try Cassidy too if you want, it's free. Um and then reach out to a few guys, right? There's all kinds of single males on those websites. Just scroll, hit, you know, filter mail, single mail, scroll, find some hot pictures, uh, look for guys that have good ratings, right? So there were two or three, you know, if there are a couple other couples have been like, this guy's the shit. He showed up, had a hard dick, he was awesome. Find a couple of those guys that you're attracted to, message them. Uh, what you're gonna want to do, what I would ask to do if I was you is have your husband meet him for a drink.

SPEAKER_00 10:27

Oh yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_02 10:28

Just the husband, right? Not even you're not even involved, right? So just have the husband, and I've done this several times.

SPEAKER_01 10:33

Well, he needs to vibe check, right? So he needs to look at how you have her look at the picture.

SPEAKER_02 10:37

He knows the kind of guys you're into. He knows what you want.

SPEAKER_01 10:39

I disagree.

SPEAKER_02 10:41

But she needs to vibe check, you're saying?

SPEAKER_01 10:42

Yeah, let's get it. Okay, either way.

SPEAKER_02 10:43

All right, so have your husband meet him or you meet him together.

SPEAKER_01 10:45

No, no, no. He can meet him, but letting you see the picture. But like, no, no, no, yeah, that's what I was saying. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:50

So look at the pictures, find a guy that she wants to fuck, then have your husband meet him for a drink. Or if you want to both go out and meet him for a drink, some more public and see and then vibe check in person, right? So you go out, you have a drink with this guy, or have your husband go out and have a drink with this guy, however, you're comfortable. Meet this guy, just have a drink. You know, you don't have it doesn't have to be long drawn out, just meet him for a quick 30 minutes hour, do a little vibe check. Make sure this guy is not an asshole, he doesn't come across as a dickhead, he's friendly, he's somebody that you can trust and respect, right? And then if that's green, then set the date, right? So that's whether he comes over to your house and you and him make out in the hot tub for a while, then you go fuck, whether you want to meet him out at a hotel, whether you want him to pick you up and bring you to dinner and then bring you back to his place or hotel, whatever this like fantasy scenario is for the two of you. Maybe your husband's watching, maybe he's not watching, maybe he's on FaceTime, you know, whatever the scenario that this fantasy, this is your fantasy, this is your guys, right? And the guys are gonna try. If it's a good bull, he wants to give you whatever experience you want, right? So talk about well, what how do you want to? I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 11:53

Um this scenario is hot. You like the scenario. Yeah, I do like, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:57

Yeah, this is this is my life.

SPEAKER_01 11:58

So it is whatever it is, right?

SPEAKER_02 12:00

So well, it was my life. So whatever the scenario is, if he wants to be there, if he doesn't want to be there, if he wants to be in the other room, if he wants to be on FaceTime, right, set all that up and then make it happen. And to me, that's gonna be your best experience. Trying to meet some random dude at a club that you talk to over music for five minutes, like that's not the ideal to me. That's not the ideal, like hot wife experience. Yeah, I really think for the hot wife's lifestyle, you do need that little bit of vibe check, a connection, and have a fantasy night.

SPEAKER_01 12:29

Especially when it's so new, you know, like after you've been doing it for a while, you probably can't. Right, sure.

SPEAKER_02 12:35

At a swinger club, if you're like he's hot, hey bro, you hey guy, you want to fuck? Yeah, and you take him back in the room and he fucks the shit out of you, awesome, right? But for your first time, I think you kind of need to be a little bit to vibe check it, you need to walk your way into it, you need to have all the you know, safe words and and bug out plans and everything in place.

SPEAKER_01 12:52

Um so that's an option. I also want to bring up that you are in Florida and you're in South Florida, which I know Orlando is not really South Florida, it's more central. Not far. Not far. A weekend at Secrets, there's also Caliente, which we've never been to, but we've no great things about, you know. Any one of those, you're near Hollover Beach and you know, Miami, anything like that where you can.

SPEAKER_02 13:19

Yeah, you being in Florida, you are like Florida and Texas are like the two mechas for the lifestyle. Like you couldn't ask to be in a better place. So um our favorite place in Florida is Secrets Hideaway. Yeah, um Trapeze would probably be are my second favorite. Caliente, we've never been there, but have heard nothing but great things. Uh and Miami Velvet really isn't a bad club either. Um, so uh lots of great places. Um, but yeah, if you want to come to Secrets, we do takeovers there. So you can go to these uh, I'm sorry, swingersociety.net. We're actually gonna be there just coming up in like I don't know if this I'll probably guess.

SPEAKER_01 13:51

This will probably come out after.

SPEAKER_02 13:52

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:53

But uh we're doing one in September. But the cool thing about Secrets is it's a lot, you know, it doesn't matter when you're a very diverse crowd, especially for takeover holiday weekends.

SPEAKER_02 14:02

Um you can hang out in the pool all day with your tits out, you can get to know people. And I would even say, you know, if you're if your husband just wants to see you get fucked, you don't even necessarily have to go find a single guy. Yeah, you can find a cool couple and just say, Hey, I really want to see my wife. Right. If you met us in a pool and this was your fantasy, and I and me and you were attracted to each other, Lacey'd be like, damn, go fuck her. I mean, I've done that to done that with a lot of girls. So, like uh and I'm not trying to like advertise myself, but other guys too. It's very common for that to happen where married couples will let you borrow their husband.

SPEAKER_01 14:37

And the cool thing about something like a secrets, and you know, this can be had for like if you choose to go on a bliss cruise or Hito or whatever, like during the day, it's a lot of like laying out in the sun and hanging out, and like, yes, there's music playing. Your husband's gonna get to see a bunch of titties, like yeah, there's music playing, but that's a lot of opportunities to really get to know somebody. And then, like, if you hit it off like later that night, then you're like dancing in the club, and you know, then that's those energies are sparking, and then you can move on to like a playroom or whatever. I mean, hell, if you hit it off during the day, you can say, Hey, we really like you. We don't have plans tonight. We are gonna go to the club for a while, but after, how do you feel?

SPEAKER_02 15:16

You know, so it's like if you're vibing in the pool, you can say, Hey, you want to go back to the room real quick? Whatever.

SPEAKER_01 15:21

I'm just saying, like, that's an easier way to kind of make that transition, especially when you're newer, than it is just to like walk into a dark club with a couple of things. Clubs are hard.

SPEAKER_02 15:30

I mean, clubs are hard, you know. You don't get there till eight o'clock at night and you you're out of there by 2 a.m. Most couples are fucking 11 midnight. You know, that's a couple hours. Yeah. Right. To make that connection and make something happen. It's it's hard. It's hard.

SPEAKER_01 15:42

Yeah, but it sounds like because you've sent us a couple of Tuesday talks, it sounds like y'all are really trying to like embrace the lifestyle and stuff. You are in such an amazing area, and it looks like you also travel a lot. I would I would encourage you to go to all the clubs. Yeah, you know, make them date nights.

SPEAKER_02 16:00

Check out Caliente. I mean, if they're they seem like maybe they're a little bit of an older couple, if if like, you know, club and loud music and EDM is not your thing. Caliente, I think, is more like chill vibes and stuff like that. So you find your whatever wherever you fit in.

SPEAKER_01 16:12

And yes, there, especially because you are in South Florida, there is going to be, you know, definitely some of that Latin culture, but there's also going to be every other culture. That's what's so cool about it. And so you just kind of have to find who you're vibing with. And you can even, you know, find somebody online that you met and then maybe say, hey, we're gonna be at Trapeze Fort Lauderdale.

SPEAKER_02 16:34

If I was her, I would check out Trapeze first. That's probably the closest. If that's not really your vibe, go check out Caliente. If that's not really your vibe, go check out Secrets. And I guarantee one of those three places, you're gonna, you're gonna love. Yeah. And probably multiple of them, you're gonna love.

SPEAKER_01 16:48

Yeah, I agree. So yeah, that's it.

SPEAKER_02 16:50

So hope that helps. Um, go have a hot wife experience, right? Uh it's it's that time of year, right? Sun's coming out, people are taking their clothes off, it's feeling sexy. Um, you know, there's no time. You guys have been married 30 years, you've been talking about this for almost 40 years now. Um get it, get it in while you're still young.

SPEAKER_00 17:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:10

Uh there's no, don't wait, you don't have to wait any longer. All right. If you guys are on the same page, sounds like you're listening to the podcast, you got some good information, um, set a date on that calendar. Go check out a club, go check out one of the um the resorts, or set yourself up uh a date. Go go check out SDC, SLS, Cassidy, uh, swingers, the swingnation.net or swing nation.info has all the links that you need um to get signed up on those and check them out. Anything else for the swing nation listeners?

SPEAKER_01 17:40

I think that's it.

SPEAKER_02 17:41

I think that's it. Uh, if you have a Tuesday talk question, I'd love to hear from you. There's a few different ways to get a hold of us. You can email us at theswingnation at gmail.com. Uh, you can send us an email, you can send us a voice note, or you can send us a video. Yeah, and we'll play your video on our TV in here, and you can get featured on Swing Nation Podcast YouTube channel with your question. Uh, or you can call or text, and that phone number is 972-302-7716. Uh, and I was looking through those text messages. There was a lot of dick pictures in there. There is. Some of them were pretty impressive. Um, I feel like they should I need to see there needs to be boob or vagina pictures. Like, I feel like it's a little off balance now. You're getting too much attention. Uh so send your boob and your vagina pictures to me. I'll actually look at it.

SPEAKER_01 18:32

Are you jealous a little?

SPEAKER_02 18:33

Uh no. No, I just I want it to be an equal opportunity um dirty pictures.

SPEAKER_01 18:40

I wanted you to be a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 18:41

Maybe you have a hot wife and you want to send me pictures of it. Oh, do that. That's hot. Send it to me for short videos. I like videos, little clips and stuff for drone nasty things. All the things. I don't is this can you advertise like this? I don't know. But uh, I think so. Uh there's no rules here on the Sweet Nation podcast. All right. I think that's it. Anything else? That's it. All right, guys, in a world full of apples, be the pineapple. Be the pineapple, guys. Bye. Bye. If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Twitter content creators on our Twinner Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at dustwination at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to dustwination.net and keep up to date on all things TwinNation. We thank you so much for joining us, and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.