The Swing Nation - A Sex Positive Swingers Podcast

Tuesday Talks: What to Wear and How to Prepare for Your First Club

Season 1 Episode 106

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Tuesday Talks: What to Wear and How to Prepare for Your First Club | Episode 106

In this episode of The Swing Nation Podcast, Dan and Lacy are back with another Tuesday Talks, answering a listener’s question about preparing for their very first club takeover as a married couple. From what to wear to how to feel confident walking in, Lacy shares her go-to fashion advice—including how to leave your hotel or home comfortably (and discreetly) with a lightweight trench coat over your outfit. Beyond the outfits, Dan and Lacy dive into the more important prep: the conversations couples should have before stepping into a club, setting expectations, boundaries, and making sure you’re on the same page. They also emphasize the importance of taking things slow, soaking in the experience, and prioritizing connection over pressure. Whether you’re planning your first event or just curious about the lifestyle, this episode is full of practical tips to help you walk in feeling prepared and confident.

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SPEAKER_02

This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18. It contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice.

SPEAKER_06

Welcome to the Swing Nation Podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe. Interview the experts. Learn and grow together. Join the nation.

SPEAKER_00

Tuesday talk.

SPEAKER_02

Talking Tuesday with Dan and Lacey. Ooh. How about that high note?

SPEAKER_06

That's perfect. Hey there, pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We are your host, Northern Guy and Southern Girl. And we are back with another rendition of Tuesday Talks.

SPEAKER_02

We are.

SPEAKER_06

Talking Tuesday.

SPEAKER_02

With Dan and Lacey. Wasty and Dan. My stomach's growing. Wacey and Dan. It is seven o'clock, two days before we leave for the Bliss Cruise.

SPEAKER_07

Wacey and Dan.

SPEAKER_02

Hush. Trying to knock out all of these podcasts so we can.

SPEAKER_07

Wacey and Dan.

SPEAKER_02

I might kill my husband. Wacey's gonna kill me. Please don't kill me. This is our third podcast in a row. So please don't kill me. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_06

All right, let's go to the phone line and hear this week's Tuesday talk question.

SPEAKER_01

Thank God.

unknown

Hello, Danny, Lacey.

SPEAKER_06

Gotta hold DM.

SPEAKER_01

Uh we are really excited for our very first ever swinger event to be your uh club takeover at the sanctuary in Salt Lake City coming up in May. My wife and I are brand new to this. And we have two questions for your Tuesday talk, each of them a little different. First, my wife wants to know if you're trying to dress super sexy for the event, what do you wear from the hotel to the event to cover up what may not be appropriate in the hotel or the walkover or the Uber ride, uh et cetera? And then I was wondering, since it's our first time, how do you recommend we approach this uh with our mindset as far as what we're what we're comfortable doing, not doing? Uh should we night one have certain boundaries?

SPEAKER_02

Did you the phone? Okay, here we go. Sorry, sorry.

SPEAKER_01

And then maybe move them for night two after a discussion. Uh, how would you approach this for your very first time? Uh, but for two people who are wildly happily married and uh incredibly sexual. Let us know. Thanks.

SPEAKER_02

Great questions.

SPEAKER_06

Uh did they give names? I didn't remember. Uh no, he did not. All right. So no names. So anonymous couple. I'm gonna assume we're gonna call them Salt Lake Couple because they uh I'm assuming they're somewhere in that area, right? Uh and so what they're talking about is we are doing a takeover of the Sanctuary, which is a new club that I just think opened uh late last year, I believe. Uh and it's right there in Salt Lake City, Utah. I've heard it's a beautiful club. It's like three stories in this old building downtown, very swanky, very upscale. Uh, you know, I don't know, but I would guess they've invested significant um money into said club. We've actually had several meetings with the owners.

SPEAKER_02

We've actually met the owners, thank you.

SPEAKER_06

The management staff there, super nice people, really um seem to care about the community, seem to be very like consent forward, very uh female, positive, making sure it's a safe place for females and uh kind of letting them take the lead. Uh so super, I could not say enough good things about the sanctuary and the experiences that we've interactions we've had with them thus far.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Okay, so we are going there in May.

SPEAKER_02

It's May 15th and 16th.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, for a takeover. And that Friday we're doing little black dress. Yeah, and Saturday we're going doing a glow party. Yes. Uh, and we're actually uh I'll be DJing and we're actually bringing Sophie with us. So Sophie Voor, uh, which if you don't know her, she's a female DJ. Yeah, she DJs for us with electric pleasures.

SPEAKER_02

On a personal level, I love her because she plays all the music that I love. Like she has like a girly pop vibe. Guys, don't worry. I mean, she definitely plays a little bit of everything, but if if she would to lean a certain way, it's definitely the girls.

SPEAKER_06

And she she's a full-time like college club DJ.

SPEAKER_02

So I mean she knows how to she she DJs is several nights a week, right? Like she's always doing right.

SPEAKER_06

So she knows how to get a club moving, bumping, grinding, all of the things. So super, I think this is me and her. I think it's gonna be it's gonna be yeah, I'm excited. Never like done a like a back-to-back with her. So I'm excited to see how this goes. But uh, should be a good time. So looking forward uh to that. Um, okay, so your questions are this is apparently gonna be your first lifestyle great questions, by the way. And so you have a few concerns. One is your wife getting to the club in her sexy outfit. Yeah, Lacey knows exactly how to do this because she does it about once a month.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. So for me, I bought a relatively inexpensive trench coat from Amazon literally like five years ago, and I still use I use the same trench coat every single time. So, you know, outward facing, I just look like I have like a trench coat on in my heels underneath there. Sometimes I am nude, sometimes I have a dress, sometimes I have a lingerie. But the cool thing is nobody knows. It gives a little like Herman San Diego vibe. Um, you can get all different types of, you know, what whatever you want, but that's what I have done in the past. Now, some girls will like, especially like I guess not girls, women, like if they have children, they will like and they don't want their kids, they'll change. You know, they'll bring, they'll have their hair and makeup done, and then they'll get to the club, and then usually there's some sort of dressing or locker room or locker area rooms. You can do that as well.

SPEAKER_06

Always a bathroom. Usually there is some kind of changing locker room area.

SPEAKER_02

So you're gonna see a combo of you know being covered as you enter versus you changing, or you know, so it really depends on where you're coming from.

SPEAKER_06

And some theme outfits just look like Halloween type outfits, and you could probably get away with walking through a hotel lobby.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, no, for example, little black dress, uh the dress that I'm wearing, I bought three because I need to- Oh, really?

SPEAKER_06

You bought three, did you? Is this gonna become a trend? Because I think that this is the second um event in a row where you've bought three dresses.

SPEAKER_02

Well, little black dresses, I always buy more than one because when we do tour videos, I always wear little black dresses. We also have the little.

SPEAKER_06

What you're saying is you already had some and you bought three.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. Anyway, so like my dresses are they're sexy, but they're appropriate. Like I could wear them through the lobby with some heels and it not be inappropriate. No, like my glow out, I the glow outfit for the next night, because this is a club, and and it's kind of neat that you bring this up because we actually on our Discord channel, we had this conversation yesterday. Somebody was asking, somebody said, Well, I was thinking about just wearing just straight linger glow lingerie. And I said, Well, because it is a club, and usually clubs skew more traditional, you know, like men, men in pants, men in a collared shirts, no backwards, opposed to like a secret that's more like ravey. Um, so because of that, I just got a glow dress and Dan has a glow, the matching glow shirt. So even the glow dress, it is like a body con dress and it's pretty sexy. Other than like, why is this girl wearing a glow dress in the middle of May? You know, like I could still really walk through a lobby in that, you know. So both of them I can, but I still will probably cover up. Just because I am a mom first and foremost, always. And when I stay in a hotel that's not a lifestyle, like swinger takeover, I want to make sure that I'm respectful of the other parents in the club, in the not the club, in the hotel.

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_02

So I always cover. Even if I even if I'm pretty appropriate, I still cover.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, no, I will say the the particular um trench coat that you have is very thin.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Uh so it's not overly hot.

SPEAKER_02

Um, and I don't know if we can do like an Amazon link in our show notes, but if we can, I'll be more than happy to drop that.

SPEAKER_04

And we can do that.

SPEAKER_02

And so if you just want the exact one.

SPEAKER_04

You'll have to give it to yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Um, it's it's very thin. I've I've worn it 40 pounds heavier and 20 pounds lighter. So it fits a if it fits me no matter the what size I am. I can wear it in the summer and I can wear it in the winter and it's fine. So it's a good, like if I forget it, if we go to a club and I forget it, I'm like, fuck, I forgot my code. It just makes me feel as a mom, it makes me feel a little bit more respectful of the hotel and the staff and the people, even though I'm I'm usually pretty.

SPEAKER_06

No, if you're just wearing laundry, you could probably, you know, throw shorts and a t-shirt over it or something like that. You know, there's other ways to do a similar thing, right?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, you 100% can. And then you get there and you just take that off. Yeah, 100%. So it's just whatever. I think the coke is a little bit like fancier way, it makes me feel a little fancier than having sweatpants.

SPEAKER_06

And then you're not like pulling stuff over your hair and messing all that.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, correct. So, yeah, that's that would be my advice to the first half of your question. The second half is I think this is a great question, and one we've gotten quite often, especially when there's two nights. And do you want to take the lead on it? Because I just answered the other part, or you want me to go?

SPEAKER_05

Remind me of what the second part of the question was. What was the second part of the question? I forgot already.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, so uh they they've they're brand new.

SPEAKER_05

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02

How how should they navigate it? Like setting the rules. So the first night they only do certain things, and then you know, the second night. So exactly kind of where he was leaning is where I would tell you to go. If you've never seen your wife or vice versa, you've never seen your husband with anyone, walking into a sex club and like fully swapping with someone can be a lot. That's a huge that's you're jumping into the DPN. So, in my opinion, if it wasn't and and listen, has have a lot of people jumped into the DPN and swam? Yes, they have. It's not worth a risk, right? In my opinion.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, when when we talk to couples about at what pace they should enter the lifestyle, we do talk about it kind of like swimming, right? Like there are absolutely you can paddle out into the middle of the friggin' ocean and jump off the boat and learn to swim that way. And you may or may not drown, right? And the lifestyle is kind of the same way. Like you could go to the somewhere for the very first time and you could participate in an orgy or a gangbang or swap, full swap with a couple, and you might experience that and be like, oh my gosh, that was the best thing ever, and I love it. Or you might end up divorced, yeah, right? Like those are the two options. And to me, it's too risky. The fact that the divorce is even a possibility in that situation means you maybe probably shouldn't do that, right? And only you know your your relationship, right? So maybe you guys are like, no, we're the we need to rip the band-aid off kind of people, and this is you know, it's not gonna, we can't slow roll this, we just need to go all in, or else we're never gonna do it. And so that's what we're doing. And we've we've talked about it, we've talked about all the what-ifs and what happens and the best case scenario, worst case scenarios, and we've decided we're gonna rip the band-aid off. And if that's the conversation that you guys have had and this is the way you want to approach it, me and Lacey are don't understand your relationship enough to tell you to do it any other way. Yes. Now, if you're asking us just for generic advice that we give to most people, we recommend the weighed in from the shallow end. Right.

SPEAKER_02

So if it was me and and Dan going for the first time and we know all that we know now, and we're not just like jumping in, I would say the first night go and and have certain things that you're comfortable with. Like, for example, dance with somebody, maybe even make out with somebody, you know, like whatever you're comfortable with. And then you go home Friday night and you talk about it. Right.

SPEAKER_06

You know, I wouldn't even say, okay, so this is like a good, like you said, we're gonna go. Yeah. This Lacey, if you want to dance with another guy, I'm perfectly okay with that. Lacey, if you want to make out with another guy, perfectly okay with that. You know, I would assume it would be a reciprocal rule where you'd allow me to do those same things. And then maybe we'll even say, hey, at the end of the night, and it depends on your comfort level, let's go to the playroom and menu fuck. Yeah. Right. Or let's just, hey, at the end of the night, let's walk through the playroom, right? Maybe we're not gonna fucking everyone be comfortable fucking, but let's just let's just take a lap and walk through there and see what's going on. And then when we get back to the hotel, we'll fuck.

SPEAKER_02

You know, to me, that's a great perfect first night because what you're gonna go home is you you're gonna go to your hotel room or your house or wherever, and you're gonna talk about those experiences. If you saw your husband kissing someone and you were wanted to like choke a bitch, yeah. Okay, you don't need to go the next night and fuck someone, you know, like that doesn't mean the lifestyle is not for you. That just means we need to do some work, we need to work on those, not even issues, but you need to figure out why those emotions are happening.

SPEAKER_06

Why do I feel like I need to choke a bitch?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. So instead of choking the bitch, you you learned, right? You now know that that is something. And so, but if you if you watch him kiss a girl and you get your pussy gets wet and you're turned on, then then the next side you go home and you're like, babe, when you were kissing her, I was so fucking turned on.

SPEAKER_06

And you're probably gonna fuck each other and you're gonna talk about it, and you're gonna be like, Did that make you hard? Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yes. Or it could be a little bit of both, but like, you know, it turned me on, but and that's probably like what most peers experience. It turned me on, but I'm also very confused by it because I love you and I know you love me, but I don't know how to process these emotions, you know. So you're gonna have some level of that. And then, you know, the next night, so you you just take these little babysits, and you might, you know, maybe the next night you you've like soft swap with somebody. You're not ready for a full swap. Whatever you're comfortable with. My advice would be to set those boundaries before you walk in the door and don't veer from them. For example, let's say we decide we're just gonna kiss somebody, and right, we're gonna do what we said.

SPEAKER_06

We're gonna okay with dancing, okay with kissing. Our plan is to walk through the playroom at the end of the night and see everybody fucking and then go back to our room and fuck.

SPEAKER_02

So Dan kisses this girl and he is churned, he is, he is and I had a couple, you know, because I was a little nervous about kissing this girl.

SPEAKER_06

So I I had like three shots of fireball. I've been drinking high noons all night.

SPEAKER_02

He is ready.

SPEAKER_06

And I'm like, this is really fun.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. And I kiss the guy, and I mean, he's okay. You know, I mean, he's not my favorite, he's not ugly, but he's not like, I'm not like my pussy's not dripping wet, you know? And then so then we Dan pulls me to the side and he's like, So you like him?

SPEAKER_06

And I'm like, I think we should fuck them.

SPEAKER_02

Really? Are you are you sure? And I'm like, what? And so then now he's been drinking, I feel pressure, and I've been drinking, so my inhibitions might be a little down, and then so then we do it, and this is and like that couple seems like they're into you, so you don't want to disappoint them, you don't want to disappoint your husband. So you do it, and it's not terrible, it's maybe not the greatest thing, it's not the worst, but then the next morning you're like, fuck, did I I don't think I would have fucked that guy if you and you pressured me into doing it, and you pressed it.

SPEAKER_06

You told me we weren't gonna do this, and you pressured me into doing it.

SPEAKER_02

And this is all your fault. You are the one that wanted to do this, and now I fuck some random dude.

SPEAKER_00

But I didn't want to fuck.

SPEAKER_02

That's what's gonna happen. So that's why you don't change your boundaries. Now, what could happen? Let's let's do that re let's do that scenario again, but let's do it as we went home. So we go home, and Dan's like, man, I I was ready. I was down. Like, how it was hot watching you with that girl, but I just didn't like that guy. You know, I wasn't into him and like I'm down for, you know, like that's a whole different conversation. Like, okay, so okay, so then now we know we really need to find somebody that you're equally attracted to.

SPEAKER_06

We need to check in. Yeah. Right? Maybe after, you know, like hey, check in, like, hey, are you into him? Are you and listen that you not both being equally into the couple at the same time? That's always gonna happen, right? So then you're gonna be like, well, even if you're not into them, them, like, do you have to be that into them to be able to want to have a swap? Like, maybe just go in and have fun. And who cares that like he's not like a nine out of ten or a ten out of ten for you? You know, sometimes you can have a lot of fun with a five out of ten. Like, but talking through all that is the process here.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, and not even though you don't think you're putting pressure on someone, you may still be they may be putting pressure on themselves because they want you to have a good time, you know? So that's why just taking it off of the table, sleeping on it, having conversation the next morning at breakfast, you know, like letting that digest is very important.

SPEAKER_06

Yeah, and I could see even, you know, if you're coming Friday and Saturday night to our event in Salt Lake, you know, I mean you could do the just a lap through the playroom Friday, and maybe you end up with a soft swap on Saturday. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02

If you come back Friday is a very successful weekend.

SPEAKER_06

If you come back Friday and your guys are all green lights and you're fucking the shit out of each other and talking about how hot it was, you know, maybe the next time, you know, on Saturday you want to come through and you know, soft swap. So soft swap being non-penetrative sex, like you're just kissing and touching on each other while you're fucking your spouse, maybe you want to do that. Or maybe you just want to fuck each other in the playroom next to somebody or you know, parallel play.

SPEAKER_02

Which I think a lot of people don't take into account that that's fucking hot. If you have been with the same partner for any amount of years, just fucking next to someone or like flirting, people watching you while you fuck that in itself will enhance your own.

SPEAKER_06

Me and she still get off to that stuff.

SPEAKER_02

That will enhance your sex life for the next amazing and like almost enjoy that high while it's there, you know? And so like I think people like skip to a full swap because they think that that's like the end goal. And there's the I think swingers feel like that's what they're supposed to do. Yeah, and the goal is to have hot, amazing sex. Now, whatever it takes to get there is fine. If walking, doing a lab through a playroom is enough to turn you on where you're pulling each other's clothes off on the drive home, then you are successful, my friend.

SPEAKER_06

I don't even know if the goal should be to have hot amazing sex. I almost feel like the goal in the lifestyle.

SPEAKER_02

But I mean with your partner.

SPEAKER_06

But you know what I mean? I think it's more than that. I think the goal in the lifestyle is to like find your confidence, yeah, find your desires, find your fantasy. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, it's like so much, you know.

SPEAKER_02

I do think though, what I mean by have hot, amazing sex, I mean like so many people put so much pressure on like swapping in the act of like fucking someone, not your spouse. And the truth is, is like you should just be having a good time.

SPEAKER_06

You should be having good sex in the in well that's the how many times have me and you had better sex in a playroom than the sex we've had in a full swap.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, same. That's what that's what I was trying to get at. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just the experience itself enhances that area. So anywho, that that's that's it. That's what we got for you.

SPEAKER_06

Oh yeah. And I hope that I mean, I think that was I felt that was a pretty good conversation. Yeah, I thought it was. And I hope that helps. So, you know, you and your your wife are uh get on talk about all the scenarios, talk about the things you're comfortable with, uh, talk about what your goals are for the end of the weekend. Um, you know, you guys said that you're uh, you know, high sex drive, kinky kind of people. So, you know, figure out what what a successful weekend looks like for you. Uh I would say though, err on the side of caution. For sure. Take it slowly.

SPEAKER_02

Your marriage is worth a night of fun, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_06

It's not worth a night of fun, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah. That's what I mean. Like it's it's important to protect that at all costs.

SPEAKER_06

Agreed.

SPEAKER_02

And you can protect it as well as in is tiptoe into this lifestyle.

SPEAKER_06

Agreed. All right. So if you have a Tuesday talk, hopefully that answers your question. Um, but if somebody else has a two listening has a Tuesday talk question, we would love to hear from you. Yes. There's a few different ways you can get a hold of us. You can email us at theswingnation at gmail.com. You can um send your question in the email, or you can attach an audio file where you uh, you know, ask us the question via audio, or you can attach a video file. And if I can get figure out how to get this TV to work again, uh we'll put your video up on the TV and so people on YouTube can actually see you asking us the question. Yes. Should be kind of fun. Um other than that, you can call or text, and that phone number is 972 302 7716. One more time.

SPEAKER_02

972-302-7716.

SPEAKER_06

Uh, and that phone line you can also text or call and leave us a voice message. Send Lacey dick pictures.

SPEAKER_02

Dan got all you haven't looked, but lots of women heard you and seen you.

SPEAKER_06

Why didn't you show me?

SPEAKER_02

I I just didn't think about it. But you have lots of titty pictures.

SPEAKER_06

You're hoarding you, yeah. You're probably replied into all the dick pictures, and you're not even telling me that there's titty and vagina pictures.

SPEAKER_02

There is titty and vagina pictures.

SPEAKER_06

Well, yeah, I need to get that phone and I need to message some of these girls back.

SPEAKER_02

You should do that.

SPEAKER_06

Send them some dick pictures.

SPEAKER_02

Do it. I love it.

SPEAKER_06

So they they know what's up.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Oh. Okay.

SPEAKER_02

That's it.

SPEAKER_06

Put that on my to-do list.

SPEAKER_02

I will.

SPEAKER_06

Uh and then, you know, if you're listening, send some more to Titty and Vagina Pictures and Lacey needs all those dick pictures. She loves them.

SPEAKER_02

I do.

SPEAKER_06

Uh I didn't know you were ordering that from me though.

SPEAKER_02

I think I mentioned it the other day.

SPEAKER_06

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

I think we got to Secrets as last week's Tuesday Talk was coming out, and they were coming in as we were like setting it. So this is like just a lot going on.

SPEAKER_06

Boobies. Boobies. Uh awesome. I mean, these are good problems to have. Yeah. Uh okay. Yep. Anything else for the Swing Nation listeners?

SPEAKER_02

That's yeah.

SPEAKER_06

Alright, guys. I think with that, in a world full of apples.

SPEAKER_02

Be the pineapple.

SPEAKER_06

Be the pineapple, guys.

SPEAKER_02

Bye.

SPEAKER_06

Bye. If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Twinger content creators on our Swinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at thustwingnation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to theswing nation.net and keep up to date on all things swing nation. We thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.