Sensory W.I.S.E. Solutions Podcast for Parents

6 tricks to get your child to cooperate

June 20, 2022 Laura Petix, The OT Butterfly Season 1 Episode 38
Sensory W.I.S.E. Solutions Podcast for Parents
6 tricks to get your child to cooperate
Show Notes Transcript

Dealing with power struggles and push back from your child when you just want them to clean up, get dressed, brush their teeth or simply transition from one activity to the next can be exhausting. While I wish I had a child who would just do what I say when I say it with no tricks, unfortunately, I have a very opinionated, strong willed girl and sometimes I need to get creative with motivating her to do things, rather than pulling the “because I said so” card, which always ends in an battle. These are my top 6 tricks for getting your child to cooperate with non-preferred tasks. 

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Transcript/show notes at www.theotbutterfly.com/38

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13:33:23 hi everyone and welcome back to the podcast This is going to be a short and sweet episode, just full of my top tricks.
13:33:31 My mom hacks to get your child to cooperate with pretty much anything.
13:33:39 But keep in mind, I know who i'm talking to Most of you have a node divergent child that may have sensory sensitivities, or any other behavioral or developmental challenges where you can have all the magic
13:33:50 tricks in the world, and your child still may not want to cooperate with putting socks on, or be happy with washing their hair, or any other thing that is related to a sensory trigger.
13:34:01 For them, I totally get it. This is not me saying try this and it's gonna magically fix your child sensory needs no just sometimes a few extra sparks of excitement and playfulness can at least get over that initial refusal
13:34:15 and battle that happens around things like transitions and cleaning up or doing anything that they literally do not feel like doing.
13:34:23 And at the very least it's worth a shot to put your energy into one of these playful strategies versus just doing the whole, because I said so bit right, because that kind of gets old.
13:34:37 After a while. So yeah, these are my top tips for that.
13:34:40 But one last note is that obviously you know your child best.
13:34:42 So you might hear some of these strategies, and right away be like no way.
13:34:47 My kid would totally hate that. There are some things that I know would not work for Liliana, but they work for other kids that I that I consult for, feel free to just take this with a grain of salt and see if any
13:34:59 of these ideas might spark different ideas for You or if you think it might be worth trying for.
13:35:04 Your child. i'm also gonna mention that you might be hearing some gardeners outside.
13:35:11 This is not their typical day. i'm not going to record this on another day, because I really want to get this out to you.
13:35:15 So please be patient if you hear some buzzing in the background let's get into it.
13:35:21 So these are the 6 tricks to get your child more motivated to cooperate.
13:35:29 So my first tip is using something to make it random.
13:35:35 So think of a dice or a spinner from a game, or pulling popsicle sticks.
13:35:43 I love this tip for things like taking a bath, cutting nails, or brushing teeth.
13:35:46 I can also see some people using this for getting dressed.
13:35:49 But just basically you find a way to make parts of the task randomized by using, like, I said, like a dice a spinner from a board game.
13:35:56 We're pulling popsicle sticks so maybe you roll a dice for bath time, and whatever number it lands on is how many seconds of scrubbing you get to, do, or maybe you write down define each number and if
13:36:12 it lands on one. that means you wash their face.
13:36:15 If it lands on 2, then it means you wash their left foot, etc. You could also do this with brushing their teeth like whatever a number it lands on is how many seconds you brush or how many teeth you brush first obviously and then you
13:36:25 keep rolling the dice until you get to thoroughly brush their teeth.
13:36:29 Popsicle sticks work great for sensory strategies like heavy work that you're trying to get them to do.
13:36:37 Maybe you write crab, walk on one bare crawl in another than frog hop.
13:36:43 Then dinosaur stomp on different popsical sticks, and then they pick a stick to decide how they're going to get from their room to the kitchen, which, helps with transitions just making transitions more fun in the morning, but
13:36:53 also provides the regulating heavy work that you might need to help them start their day off.
13:37:00 I could also see the strategy working for helping to clean up huge messages.
13:37:05 So like when Legos are all over the floor are blocks or crayons, so roll the dice, or spin the spinner to see how many blocks to clean up, or how many seconds they need to wipe the table
13:37:15 for pro to this method is it's out of your child's control and yours so literally the randomization.
13:37:26 It leaves no one to blame, so you can just blame the dice like.
13:37:29 Oh, the dice says we got to clean 6 teeth first, so that could work in your favor.
13:37:35 My next tip is to use time, lapse, recording mode, to help with with transitions, or just any task where your child is like moving their body through it.
13:37:46 So this could work for brushing teeth, getting dressed, cleaning up.
13:37:49 These are some of the most common ways that I use this method.
13:37:52 So you use your phone or smart device and record them doing the task.
13:37:58 But put it in time. Lapse mode which is just like super speed mode.
13:38:01 I don't know what this looks like on androids but on iphone.
13:38:03 There's actually a setting the camera, app you just go to take like a video, and at the bottom, where the red circle is, if you swipe either left or right, it'll change to time lapse mode and you just
13:38:13 click record as like I do this when she's cleaning up. i'll just click record while she's cleaning, and then, after she's done cleaning, we watch it back and it moves it it moves out like su
13:38:24 fast speed, and she thinks it's hilarious watching herself move at super speed.
13:38:29 She calls it superhero speed videos. So when she doesn't want to clean up, or she's having a hard time.
13:38:33 I'm like you want to do it in superhero speed, and she's always like, yes, I want to do. I could probably see this working too, in reverse if you played it like in a reverse order like sometimes you could play it like in a rewind
13:38:46 motion, or you could play it super slow, just like any sort of effects you can do to taking a video of them.
13:38:52 They probably will love. Another tip is to use a self-recording of your child, like your child recording themselves, to cooperate with transitions.
13:39:03 So I call this one dear future self so I love using this trick as like preparations for transitions, or for sort of like big events, or something that you're preparing for like the first day of school or a plate date or a
13:39:18 doctor's visit something that you anticipate might be hard, or be a trigger for your child.
13:39:23 So you basically prep your child the way you normally would like you role, play, and you practice or tell them what to expect with the transition and remind them of certain boundaries that you have like all of those things you still do you do that
13:39:39 normally. So, for example, here's a very specific example, Liliana loves listening to music in headphones, and she lives to swing at the same time.
13:39:49 Transitioning away from this is like a 50 over 50 trigger for a meltdown, depending on what song it lands on, because the songs always random, and then she sometimes wants to repeat a song, and if I stop the time in the
13:39:58 middle of a song. it's like all hell breaks loose so.
13:40:02 But I love that she loves this music. and swinging because it is regulating for her, and it's she will do this for like an hour at a time.
13:40:09 So it's amazing. But so when she asks to do music and swing, I will tell her.
13:40:15 Okay, you can have music and swing for 30 min after that it's time to wash your hands for lunch.
13:40:21 And also, by the way, washing hands is not her favorite either so that's like a whole trigger, as well, so i'll say, if it's too hard for you to put the music away.
13:40:29 You can take deep breaths or ask me for a hug, Hurting me or yelling at me is not okay.
13:40:36 And then she agrees, and she says I know and then I ask if she wants to remind her future self of this plan, and she always says, Yes, so I selfie record, her, saying she says this to herself: Liliana when it's time
13:40:48 to put the music away. Don't forget you might feel mad and you can't hit mom.
13:40:52 That's not Ok. you can take deep breaths or squeeze your hands if you need to.
13:40:57 So she is saying that to herself, then when it's time to be done with the music.
13:41:00 I'll tell her, Hey, someone has a message for you press play, and she'll watch the video and it works like a dream.
13:41:08 99, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9 9% of the time like only one time, has it not worked.
13:41:14 And of course there's still going to be feelings there.
13:41:20 But this is something that typically helps. Another tip is to use music.
13:41:23 To get your child to cooperate so i've used this one for getting dressed for brushing her hair and cleaning up.
13:41:29 So I play a song on my phone and if she's doing something by herself, like she's getting her self-dressed or cleaning up.
13:41:38 Then I just randomly will press, pause, and she freezes like a statue.
13:41:44 Then when the music plays, she moves and gets dressed picks up toys, etc., until she thinks this is really funny.
13:41:51 It's it's free stance essentially if it's something that i'm doing like i'm brushing her hair, or I am brushing her teeth.
13:41:59 Give her control of my phone, and then she pushes pause and I freeze.
13:42:03 It gives her a little control over the imposed touch like grooming stuff, so she's uncomfortable.
13:42:08 She can stop so she could literally pause for however long she wants, and then I usually freeze with like a silly look on my face, and it makes her crack up every time.
13:42:21 My other tip. is probably one that you've heard before but it's all about making it a competition like a beat the timer.
13:42:25 So again, I think this is one that might not work for some kids who are anxious about time or don't like losing or doing anything competitive, but it works for a lot of my clients, and sometimes works for my daughter so I either put
13:42:37 a timer on my phone, or I just close my eyes and count slowly to see if she can finish putting her clothes away, picking her clothes out for school.
13:42:46 Notice. All of my examples are about clothes, because that is our biggest trigger, also do it for washing hands, going potty.
13:42:53 Any of it before my eyes open or before the timer goes off. so i'll i'll close my eyes and be like, okay.
13:42:59 I'm gonna close my eyes and I wonder if you can get dressed before I open my eyes, and then i'll close my eyes, and i'll count really really slowly, and then i'll be like okay, tell me when you're done this
13:43:09 is taking a long time and she'll say like i'm already done, and i'm like whoa you How did you do that so fast?
13:43:17 Like all of that stuff. Sometimes we'll race to the stairs to see who can get there first, or race to the car again.
13:43:25 Use your best judgment on if this would work or pose a safety threat for some of your kids.
13:43:28 But it's just another tool to explore and the last one I'm. going to share, and rave about is the Mvp.
13:43:35 For us in this house. Bubbles bubbles have been such a huge tool for us, so I swear it has saved us from so many meltdowns.
13:43:44 I use it sort of in the same way as like kind of trying to beat like a timer.
13:43:50 But instead of asking if she can do a task before the timer, I just say, can you do this part?
13:43:56 Before the last bubble hits the ground. so if you've seen me talk about this on Instagram.
13:43:59 I also talked about this on our morning routine podcast episode. I take a bubble wand, and I blow bubbles up like I aim towards the ceiling.
13:44:06 So they have like a higher, like arch or reach, and then she has to put her socks on like, or pans, or panties, or pick up as many toys as she can before the last bubble hits.
13:44:18 The ground, and I know I always let her win I just keep blowing extra bubbles, so there's no like sadness here.
13:44:24 It's just a really fun way to motivate her to actually do it.
13:44:28 So I don't really actually let her lose yeah and that's been working for so many things.
13:44:34 So bubbles I could see like I I mean you could still do bubbles with like a ten-year-old bubbles are so universal and so cool.
13:44:42 So those are my top tips for getting your child to cooperate with daily tasks.
13:44:47 That might be somewhat quote non preferred. but remember, at the end of it all, they are allowed to have their feelings.
13:44:54 They don't have to be excited or happy to have to clean up like you can't expect that of them.
13:45:01 We can't control those feelings they still have to do the cleanup.
13:45:05 They still have to get dressed for school, so if you can try to make it fun.
13:45:09 Then that's the best that you can do alright Let me know if you like this episode, I will be on Instagram.
13:45:16 Send me a text, send me a
13:45:22 All right, let me know. so if you can try to make it fun that's the best that you can do
13:45:34 And that's the best that you can do all right That was it for the short and sweet episode I hope you got a few new tips of things that you can try, and I will be around Instagram if you want to let me know what you thought of this
13:45:45 episode. If you think someone else could benefit from this, please share
13:45:57 All right. I hope you found some of these tips to be helpful.
13:45:59 This was a short and sweet episode if you liked it. Please leave me a review.
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13:46:05 Share with anyone who you think would find this helpful and i'll see you guys next week