Join us in this Big Dog Talk Podcast episode as we discuss being open with your partner. We share stories about how being vulnerable has helped us grow and connect more deeply in our relationships.
Learn why honesty and openness is important and how this can strengthen your bond. We also discuss setting boundaries and how to handle tough emotions. Tune in to find out how being vulnerable can improve your relationships.
What if we told you that the key to deeper connections and understanding in your relationships lies in your vulnerability? It may sound unsettling, but it's a journey my co-host and I have navigated, and we're eager to share our insights with you.
Our exploration begins by addressing the role of vulnerability and its impact on our relationships. A certain fear and uncertainty accompanies vulnerability, but through our personal stories, we demonstrate that embracing it can lead to healing, growth, and even empowerment. However, not everyone should be privy to our most intimate selves; thus, we emphasize the importance of setting healthy boundaries.
Imagine combining vulnerability with grace - a powerful duo that can transform your relationships. In the second part of our episode, we share personal experiences that highlight the power of vulnerability in relationships, leading to true connection and reciprocity. We also delve into the complexities of being closed off and how that can trigger insecurities and fears. We urge you to lean into vulnerability, embrace your authentic self, and extend grace, especially when faced with a partner who struggles with vulnerability. Through our candid discussions, we aim to inspire you to embrace uncertainty, accept risks, and find the courage to be truly transparent in your relationships. Tune in for a transformative journey through vulnerability and grace.
This video is about Vulnerability In Love: Transform Your Relationships Episode 24. But It also covers the following topics:
Relationship Vulnerability Tips Empowering Vulnerable Conversations The Role Of Transparency In Love
Join us in this Big Dog Talk Podcast episode as we discuss being open with your partner. We share stories about how being vulnerable has helped us grow and connect more deeply in our relationships.
Learn why honesty and openness is important and how this can strengthen your bond. We also discuss setting boundaries and how to handle tough emotions. Tune in to find out how being vulnerable can improve your relationships.
What if we told you that the key to deeper connections and understanding in your relationships lies in your vulnerability? It may sound unsettling, but it's a journey my co-host and I have navigated, and we're eager to share our insights with you.
Our exploration begins by addressing the role of vulnerability and its impact on our relationships. A certain fear and uncertainty accompanies vulnerability, but through our personal stories, we demonstrate that embracing it can lead to healing, growth, and even empowerment. However, not everyone should be privy to our most intimate selves; thus, we emphasize the importance of setting healthy boundaries.
Imagine combining vulnerability with grace - a powerful duo that can transform your relationships. In the second part of our episode, we share personal experiences that highlight the power of vulnerability in relationships, leading to true connection and reciprocity. We also delve into the complexities of being closed off and how that can trigger insecurities and fears. We urge you to lean into vulnerability, embrace your authentic self, and extend grace, especially when faced with a partner who struggles with vulnerability. Through our candid discussions, we aim to inspire you to embrace uncertainty, accept risks, and find the courage to be truly transparent in your relationships. Tune in for a transformative journey through vulnerability and grace.
This video is about Vulnerability In Love: Transform Your Relationships Episode 24. But It also covers the following topics:
Relationship Vulnerability Tips Empowering Vulnerable Conversations The Role Of Transparency In Love
We're not exempt from hardship, we're not exempt from going through conflict in a relationship. So one of my areas, when I was ready to ready to start this podcast, I had to be be vulnerable enough, like you say, you know what I have to lean into it. It is what it is. I'm on a mission. We have a husband and wife podcast, a couple's podcast weeks. We become an intimate. We wanted to have a community where we can show people some real life. We're actually being vulnerable with boundaries, right. You know we tell 98% of everything we do. You know everything is not for the world, right, but we wanted to give our community enough authenticity, enough vulnerability where you can see what it's like behind the scenes in real life.
Speaker 2:
I mean well said, brother, because also, like when you are vulnerable, you open the doors to potentially being hurt.
Speaker 1:
Right.
Speaker 2:
So when you're vulnerable especially like, let's just say, in a relationship, and you choose to be vulnerable, there's a possibility, through that vulnerability that you're choosing, that you could do, you could get hurt, and so the fear of being hurt because we all know what that feels like can also stop you from being vulnerable.
Speaker 1:
So here's the thing, though, because you said there's a fear there, yeah, of possibly being hurt. Yeah, there is actually no way that you can be vulnerable without accepting uncertainty. Very true, there's no way that you can be vulnerable without accepting that it's risky, right. There's no way that you can be vulnerable without accepting that it takes courage to be vulnerable. It does Because it's so much backlash that can come with it if everything fails. It's that, if it's that uncertainty, right, that we are afraid of by becoming vulnerable, we're vulnerable in our relationships, vulnerable in our friendships, vulnerable with certain information about us.
Speaker 1:
It's just because behind vulnerability is also the monster of shame and guilt, right and embarrassment and embarrassment.
Speaker 2:
But I want to back it up a second because, you said something that clearly, like my mind, just it's stuck there. You said vulnerable with boundaries, right, love that. Love that so much because when you talk through vulnerability and you think through vulnerability and you exercise vulnerability, I personally feel that everyone doesn't deserve your most vulnerable, no Part of you, no, right. So vulnerability to me is done best like in your safe space with your safe people. Now in my life and in my circle, like there is a very small amount of people that I'm willing to be vulnerable with and I've learned that just through life maturation experience that everybody doesn't deserve to know that most vulnerable side of big Shay, because it is intimate, it is Sacred and it does lay me before you pretty naked, which everybody just doesn't deserve that that side of me right.
Speaker 2:
Right. So as I'm personally navigating through what it means to be vulnerable and that vulnerability is actually a positive thing, it's a strength I pick and choose. I pick and choose who I share with. I pick and choose really mostly for me, who gets to see that naked, emotional side of me? Right, because it's easy for it's easy for me to give you just enough and keep it moving very easy. But it's hard for me to give people that intimate, emotional, how I'm really feeling, what I'm really processing, and just to be super Transparent, because that transparency also opens the door to healing, help, love, support. You feel more courageous, you take the load off your back and can move forward in whatever situation that you may be going through.
Speaker 1:
It's a good point, because the reality of things, big Shay, is Relationships period is all about law of reciprocity. Mmm, that's good, um, and you made a statement just now saying that everyone doesn't get to, everyone doesn't deserve that vulnerable place, and I 200% agree with that. Good. Well, here's the thing, though, about vulnerability, and when you're, when you say when you're not vulnerable, you basically you're basically saying that you have some emotions that are closed off, shut down Will go deeper, big Charles right.
Speaker 1:
Would you agree with that hundred percent? So when you say that you have some emotions that are closed off and shut down, here's the thing about when you shut down emotions you cannot shut down, you cannot hand pick what emotion that you want to shut down without affecting the other emotions in your that you are naturally born with. You can't say I'm going to be closed off in this area and then say I'm gonna. I'm gonna really 100% Enjoy, experience, happiness, enjoy in this area. This is the thing about Emotions and being cut off and being, not being vulnerable.
Speaker 2:
I love where you going with this.
Speaker 1:
You see what I'm saying. I do, I love you don't get the pick and choose.
Speaker 1:
You know what I'm gonna shut off right today. I love where you going with this. I'm gonna because energy is everything. Energy is everything. So because if you are a shutoff person, if you are a closed off person, guess what that means? That you're not giving everything to me, you're not giving me happiness, you're not giving me who you really are, because you don't get to pick and choose what emotion that you're gonna close off Without it affecting the other emotion.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, can I just cannot. Can I just help a little bit go ahead with a little example and this, this, this example. I'm gonna get a little bit personal, okay, if that's okay. So when you just said that you can't pick and choose what Emotion, you want to shut off?
Speaker 2:
with. I just want to shut it off Over here, right? So, for example, I'm gonna just bring it full circle to make the make it. Can I make it plain?
Speaker 2:
So for me, as I've been on this healing journey, haven't always been vulnerable, haven't always been vulnerable with my husband, having always been vulnerable with my children, having always been vulnerable with my own self, right, and so what I come to realize just by listening to you, but also being able to be fully transparent about it. Why? Because that's no longer the story, right, tell the story now. Because I'm no longer in that place.
Speaker 2:
So there was a point in time in our relationship, in our marriage, that I was not completely vulnerable with you, right, and I wasn't vulnerable with you because there were areas in my life that had caused a lot of hurt, pain, trauma that I didn't understand and had never really dealt with. So I Chose to close off in a certain kind of way because of those unhealed areas in my life, unspoken and talked about areas in my life. So then I wasn't being transparent with you, I wasn't being fully vulnerable with you. And now that I think about those times when I wasn't Vulnerable with you, I also wasn't vulnerable with my kids. I Also wasn't vulnerable with myself. So that means that I showed up To the world and in the relationships that matter the most to me, not giving my full self, but thinking that I could camouflage that and that I was, but not knowing that I was really exposed. Right, but I was willing to continue to give 50% of Big Shay just because I didn't know how to be vulnerable and I didn't know the power of vulnerability.
Speaker 1:
So here's the thing though did I cut you off? You did.
Speaker 2:
All right, well, keep going then, but go ahead.
Speaker 1:
There's the thing of power, of vulnerability. I don't want to be rude. No, no, no, it's go.
Speaker 2:
It's all right. So, because I, you feel something. You got to say it Just it's cool.
Speaker 1:
It's just the fact that there's an unspoken language in all of us, that none of us realize that we are speaking when it comes to spirituality and energy. Energy, so you can, I don't care how we had happy moments we were happy still, absolutely. We still had a great marriage why you were still closed off, but it's still a more powerful energy that supersedes the natural when certain chakras and when certain emotions are closed off Absolutely. So being so, when my wife and thank you for sharing this when my wife wasn't all the way vulnerable with me as a husband, I can feel that and what that would do is for me, that will trigger point my insecurities or my fears and my vulnerabilities. Okay, you're not, I can tell you're not being all the way vulnerable with me. So why would I want to be all the way vulnerable with you? Right, if that makes sense Completely and honestly, when you say that you are.
Speaker 1:
When a person said that they're afraid of being vulnerable, that means they are afraid to tell people and show people who they really are. So when I went through my maturation of accepting and leaning into vulnerability, I was able to grow. Do my homework, do my research, do my application. Then I could. Okay, I can see how, where you were coming from, and even in your, which allowed me to even have race for you as well Now, but my point that I was making is it, when you weren't being vulnerable, it made me feel like and this is, this is years in marriage.
Speaker 1:
It made me feel like I'm I'm laying in bed with someone that I really don't know to the core of her and I felt like that wasn't fair, right, you know? So I'm saying, I'm saying to the listeners when you're being closed off and you think you're hiding something, there's a unspoken, more powerful energy that you can, that you can't even explain and people can read that. People can tell that. It's just like you can cut me off whenever you get ready. It's just like in friendships. You can tell when there are surface level relationships, when you only talk about certain things you don't want to talk about intimate things, and that can affect the other person on the other end, that's actually being vulnerable. That's true, yep, if I'm trying to like bring it together, it's like how, how are you going to? It's the same thing in, in, in in a marriage. It's the same thing in a, in a friendship.
Speaker 2:
You know, and here's the thing I'm going to cut you off now, cool, yeah, cool. Here's the thing, because I'm so glad we're having this conversation, because it really speaks volume to, just like I speak volume to how you can extend grace when you know better. Right, because, like I just said, a few years ago, I was not your, your most vulnerable person, I think. Even so much so that even on the big dog talk podcast they are getting another side of me because I did the work outside of you're doing it outside of the mic. So whether they like it, don't like me, like me, like what Big Shade talking about, I really don't care why. Because I'm really. I'm really and truly showing up who I really am, right.
Speaker 2:
So I'm saying that to say when healing is a journey, right, today we're just talking about one aspect of it was just so happens to be vulnerability, with shrikels down into other areas of you know of our live and our relationship and how we show up into the world. But you brought up a point where, when you are understand the power of vulnerability, but you may be in relationship with someone, like you were with me, or you may have a friendship where you know the other end is not being vulnerable. You are able to give them grace, just like you gave me grace. You can extend that grace where it needs to go, because you understand that them not showing up vulnerable has nothing to do with the fact that they don't want you to know. They just want to keep secret.
Speaker 1:
It's fear there.
Speaker 2:
It's fear there and they are have not tapped into that part of their journey to heal that area in order to be the best be sure that's their best self in those particular relationships. Because you could have done something very different If you weren't, if you weren't the husband that had been doing the work for many, many years and able to extend grace to me when I was not being vulnerable, shutting down, not wanting to have real conversations, not want to talk about tough, have tough conversations to impact and extend the health of our marriage. You could have very easily got frustrated with me and that could have very easily sent us Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Speaker 1:
You did get frustrated. Wait, wait, wait, wait, you did.
Speaker 2:
Let's beat 3,000 a bottle, you were frustrated.
Speaker 1:
I was very frustrated.
Speaker 2:
Very.
Speaker 1:
And the reason that I can have so much vulnerability and grace means so much grace for you, because I know how much grace I needed from God.