Ever found yourself wondering what advice you would give to your younger self, or pondering about the words of wisdom you'd share with your future self? We've all been there, and in this enlightening episode, we're joined by alumni of historically black colleges and universities (HBCUs) who open up about their own journeys of self-discovery and transformation. They share the struggles they faced at 18, the societal pressures they battled, and the profound influence of their environment on their actions and mindset.
Then we shift gears a bit. Imagine standing face-to-face with your 60-year-old self, what would you say? Our guests take a stab at this thought-provoking concept, revealing their sacrifices, dedication, and personal growth. They talk about envisioning the life they want and the often taken-for-granted blessings they've encountered. What shines through is a powerful message about resilience, self-awareness, and personal development. This episode is a heartening blend of reflection, inspiration, and wisdom that reminds us all that we are not defined by our circumstances, but by our ability to rise above them.
Ever found yourself wondering what advice you would give to your younger self, or pondering about the words of wisdom you'd share with your future self? We've all been there, and in this enlightening episode, we're joined by alumni of historically black colleges and universities (HBCUs) who open up about their own journeys of self-discovery and transformation. They share the struggles they faced at 18, the societal pressures they battled, and the profound influence of their environment on their actions and mindset.
Then we shift gears a bit. Imagine standing face-to-face with your 60-year-old self, what would you say? Our guests take a stab at this thought-provoking concept, revealing their sacrifices, dedication, and personal growth. They talk about envisioning the life they want and the often taken-for-granted blessings they've encountered. What shines through is a powerful message about resilience, self-awareness, and personal development. This episode is a heartening blend of reflection, inspiration, and wisdom that reminds us all that we are not defined by our circumstances, but by our ability to rise above them.
I went to an HBCU, I had a chip on my shoulder. I'm like I'm dead, I'm nobody's definitely not going to try me and so I brought that energy and that mentality with me as an 18 year old in college and it got me in a lot of it got me in a lot of trouble. It actually got me suspended the second semester of my freshman year in college because I got into a big, big fight with some girls from another state and the girl that I was fighting with she actually cut one of the girls pinkies off and so, because I was involved in the altercation, it got me suspended from college the second semester of my freshman year.
Speaker 2:
So what would you tell that person? Just keep going, like honestly, just keep going, because so, first of all, don't forget that you say keep going, but what did so? Now that you're able to look at that situation, can, can is it any way that you can embody that, that energy that you were in at 18 year olds, and tell me what I, what did that feel like?
Speaker 1:
It felt like survival mode. It felt like, like I said in the beginning, it felt like I'm never going to be the prey Nobody's. No, I'm not allowing anybody to try me because I'm not the one to be played with Right, Right, Because in my hood I'd already proven that right. So in a new environment, my energy linked up with people that had that same mentality, which got me caught up in a situation that interrupted, you know, me being able to stay on campus. So I continued studying college, but I had to live off campus.
Speaker 2:
So why would you tell yourself to keep going? Because?
Speaker 1:
you're not a product of your. I'm not a. I was not a. I could have thought that I was a product of my environment, but I wasn't.
Speaker 2:
Right.
Speaker 1:
It was just circumstantial, it was just environment, and it also I mean environmental from the perspective where my parents did everything in their power to raise me the right, right way. Like I had a great education. I went to private school from kindergarten all the way up until 10th grade. Right, I went to public school in 10th grade. So I only did public school 10th, 11th and 12th grade. I had a great education from that early foundation. However, what I know now is that sometimes environmental things do impact how you show up.
Speaker 2:
I know for sure, like now, that I'm not because you got my brain spinning out.
Speaker 1:
I'm happy about that. I hope I tell my 18 year old self.
Speaker 2:
I also will tell myself at 18, like, relax and I can enjoy life. I was, I'm a, I'm a, I was uptight, I was uptight, I'm a brother, I'm a preacher's kid, you know what I mean. So I had a certain image I had to portray. I mean, my father passed up, you know my mother first, you know what I mean, first lady, or he was like a, even a youth pastor, first lady, and you know, you know that image that you had to portray, it, it, it, it imprisones you, you know, and I grew up like, uh, non-denominational Pentecostal somewhere in that. You know what I mean, you know and that and that and that and that.
Speaker 1:
Holy ghost, thank the five yes so everything was a sin back then. Yes.
Speaker 2:
You know everything was like you like. It was like you couldn't. You couldn't enjoy life. Everything was wrong. Everything was you going to hell. Right it thoughts is going to own in your mind that you can't control. You're going to hell. You know things that you experienced, experiencing at a, at a 18 year old, as, like my, hormones changes you have you having sex. You're going to hell you know, what I mean.
Speaker 2:
You, you try some alcohol, you're going to hell. So then, like I was struggling, I was actually. I found that, I look at it, I was having like a a war with self at that age, like who I was, like, who I, my nature, my NAB, and living up to this image of what a Christian looks like per se, and at 18 years old, that was a lot of mental. I don't want to, I don't like using this word, but it was a lot of like mental trauma. You know what I mean. That it carried over into my adult years. I didn't, I didn't, literally I didn't start having fun until I got with my wife. I didn't have any fun in college.
Speaker 1:
So we're very early into this conversation, but when you, when you're making me now think about 18, there's a huge internal like struggle as an 18 year old, because you don't really know what you don't know.
Speaker 1:
Well, I'm gonna tell myself, but you, think you know a lot, right, and so when I put myself in my space at where I was at 18, like I said, freshman in college went to college far away from home, no family was around. I had to basically get it on my own. It really put me in survival mode and what I would tell myself is, like I said, keep going, you're not a product of your environment. Right, and like you can do this, right, you can literally do this. I know it feels like like the the chips are stacked up against you and that you know, because I was. I am literally the first person in my entire family to go to college. Wow, and tired though, I'm a first generation college graduate in my family Wow.
Speaker 1:
So I had absolutely nobody to rely on and get advice from during this experience, like when you think about our daughter who just graduated from college you've been to college, I've been to college. She was. We were able to give her sound advice from experience, right, and so I felt like I had a lot to prove to people, when I should have been proving it to myself.
Speaker 2:
I mean, you got to think about it, though, when you're 18 years old, when you're 18 years young, you have a different your mental space, you have a different mental world you know what I mean Completely Than you have right now I'm 18. You know, you, basically you, you I'm living for my parents. For, for, for a second, I feel like that's an approval right, I feel like I have to live for them. Validation, yeah, to make them proud.
Speaker 1:
Yeah.
Speaker 2:
You know, I still like live in a way to honor them now, but I felt like I was living in a, in a, from a perspective of how they, what they wanted for me in life. Right, you know, I also would tell myself at 18, 18 years, 18 years of age that y'all hit a parrot in the background.
Speaker 1:
We don't want to know what you would tell yourself it's alright, we're good, we're good. Okay, we're good.
Speaker 2:
Alright. So what I would tell what I would also tell myself, my 18 year old self is that you actually are blessed to be able to grow up in a house, that your environment, that you've grown up in, especially from the environment that you come from. You know, I've grown up in a hood. My parents had me at a young age and they done a great job with me with the tools that they had.
Speaker 1:
Right.
Speaker 2:
I would definitely like cause at 18 years old. You know you. You can add a two with your parents. You mad at them, you don't? They think they know it. This is what an 18 year old is saying about At 18, you got an attitude period.
Speaker 1:
You got an attitude Right, but it's the attitude that you're closest with Right.
Speaker 2:
You know so I would. I also would tell myself oh, this is a good one. I would tell myself that your discipline will pay off. Keep going your choices that you're making now, the vision that you see for yourself, your older, your older self. It will pay off If you keep walking the walk that you're. You know what I mean, that's different than your friends. It's going to eventually pay off.
Speaker 1:
Right.
Speaker 2:
Because I'm happy here. I'm happy about the choices that I've made. You know, because what we come from we don't have. If you, what we come from and you want to come out of that situation, you don't have, you don't have too many chances to make the wrong choice Because we are already in a hole, you know. So for the, for the most part, I'm happy with 99% of my choices that I've made. So I would tell my 18 year old self boy your discipline, your sacrifice, your hard work, ethics, it's going to pay off, it's going to pay off, it's going to what it's going to pray off, so no, so, so I was okay.
Speaker 2:
I'm going to switch this, though let's go so, because we're talking about what we would tell our 18-year-old. So if I was 18, 20, 21 years ago, right yeah, that's your past self, what we just. You just asked me what we would tell our past self. You say keep going. You said like, listen, basically you're not a product of your environment. You made the right choice like you're going the right path. Your story is your story.
Speaker 1:
What you see right now is not what you about to see in 20-plus years.
Speaker 2:
So let me ask you this there what do your present self, what would your present self tell your future? You 20 years from now?
Speaker 1:
Really.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I like having these kind of conversations because if you have so listen a wise man, what you going to hold that Keep going. A wise man in the Bible said that you should put that there's to everything there is a season.
Speaker 1:
Right.
Speaker 2:
And you have to realize that seasons are always changing and from eight at 18 years old, that was a season. At 38, 39, this is a season, definitely is a season. At 60 years old, that will be a season. So I'm asking you, what would you tell yourself 20 years from down the road? Because it's necessary that you prepare and plan and have some sort of vision for who you want to be 20 years down the road.
Speaker 1:
All right, so here it goes. You said 20 years, or you said future self.
Speaker 2:
I know I just said a man in the Bible. That's actually Ecclesiastics 3, chapter 3, verse 2. I just wanted to make sure because I like when I talk.
Speaker 1:
When I talk, that talk. I want you to know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2:
So, ecclesiastics, chapter 3, verse 2 and all things. Here's the season.
Speaker 1:
Shout out to my father-in-law, my pastor Right. I'm sorry, so repeat the question. So what would I tell my future self, or 20 years?
Speaker 2:
So what would you tell your? So we just talked about your past self. What would you tell your future self 20 years from now, your 20 year future self, you? What would you tell that person?
Speaker 1:
I mean 20 years from now.
Speaker 2:
I would look back and tell myself that no, no, no, you're not looking back, You're looking forward. What are you telling the 60 year old, you, 20 years from down the road, who, like it's in the hopes of?
Speaker 1:
So right now I'm going to speak to my future. Yes, Thank you, I'm just listen. Sometimes you got to get understanding.
Speaker 2:
All right, so speak to your future, then what would you tell your future you?
Speaker 1:
I would just it's real simple Look what you did, look at your hard work, look at your dedication. Look at your sacrifices. Look at your healing. Look at what all of that brought to your latter self.
Speaker 2:
Okay, simple Okay. Are you just looking at me like that?
Speaker 1:
Because now you're pondering. Yes, because when you ask a question like that, obviously there is more to do in this space there's in this sort of space, you know, there's a need to give an answer, right, because you ask the question, and so I'm thinking like what would I tell my 64 year old self.
Speaker 2:
That's why you agree If I'm 64, I'm like.
Speaker 1:
I already know. I already know we already talk about I'm retired where we talk about our retirement already and I'm living like the life that I've always envisioned for myself. You know what I mean. I've created so.
Speaker 2:
I'm sorry. I'm the question I know you created. I don't want to pause, though, because I saw you sit in that. Yeah, I'm like so why are you looking at me like that? Because I know that you were that. So you know, we ask questions to make ourselves sit with ourselves, right. I know like it's easy to just it's easy to say something, but then, after you spoke, you're like really like set in it and it was like I know there's more to say to that, to that 60 year old self.
Speaker 1:
It's a lot. It's like it's a lot to say that I don't even think, that I can even try to embody in this moment, right, because, at 43 years old, and what I'm working towards and how I envision my future 20 years from now, it's literally the life that I'm imagining right now, like I will literally feel like a miracle, I will literally feel like makes me emotional that God chose to like, show me so much favor and allow me to not only live the life that I imagined, but for me to carry out the purpose in which he placed me on this earth to do.
Speaker 1:
How we digging, because that's dead, even as it relates to like my business, like I know that my business is purpose driven. I absolutely know, sitting here today, that's what I'm supposed to be doing, and I know that that's making room for my family, that's making room for my husband to chase his dreams, which is actually the catapult to our real, true life. You know what I'm saying. So, as I sit here and I think I'm just like, I feel like gratitude, because I just know that God's word is never null and void and I know the things that God speaks to me about our life and about my life and about what I'm doing now to get us to that point. And so, 20 years from now, I'm just going to be so grateful to God that he did exactly what he said he was going to do, and it won't really be about me, it'll be about him and it'll be about my obedience to him and living out those previous 20 years exactly how he had set it up for me to live.