Join us on our transformative journey as we confront our addiction to technology and strive to reclaim the real, meaningful moments that make life worth living. In this episode, we share our struggles and breakthroughs in reducing screen time and enhancing our connections with each other beyond the digital shadows.
Discover practical tips and heartfelt insights on balancing technology in your life and fostering genuine relationships. Whether it's through digital detox challenges or mindful tech use, we're here to inspire you to prioritize real-world interactions and cherish every moment.
This Episode is about How We're Overcoming Tech Addiction For Real Connection - Ep32. But It also covers the following topics:
Digital Detox Strategies
Overcoming Screen Addiction
Reclaiming Family Time
Join us on our transformative journey as we confront our addiction to technology and strive to reclaim the real, meaningful moments that make life worth living. In this episode, we share our struggles and breakthroughs in reducing screen time and enhancing our connections with each other beyond the digital shadows.
Discover practical tips and heartfelt insights on balancing technology in your life and fostering genuine relationships. Whether it's through digital detox challenges or mindful tech use, we're here to inspire you to prioritize real-world interactions and cherish every moment.
This Episode is about How We're Overcoming Tech Addiction For Real Connection - Ep32. But It also covers the following topics:
Digital Detox Strategies
Overcoming Screen Addiction
Reclaiming Family Time
Even if I would just put it in my pocket, it still give me a sense of I'm not giving you all of my attention. Have you seen your pocket? Even if it's in my pocket and I'm talking to you.
Speaker 2:Really yes, oh, okay.
Speaker 1:Yes, it's there If it rains. That's what I'm going to do.
Speaker 2:I'm going to look at it. Yeah, if it rains, notification you're definitely going to look, we all going to look. I mean because we even had like a big day with our eldest son yesterday. You know a good day with him, and I'm thinking about it now, like while we were waiting, we were both on our phones, passing, passing time, you know taking videos of him like, oh, this is going to be a good moment.
Speaker 1:He's going to be happy about this. Yeah, yeah All right, that's it, that's it.
Speaker 2:Uh-uh, uh-uh. We have officially come to the conclusion for ourselves and our family Uh-uh. Hi Excuse me, my name is Shevon Big Shea Hawkins and I am addicted to my cell phone and technology.
Speaker 1:Hi, my name is Charles Hawkins. I am also addicted to my cell phone and technology. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, dang, I never. I didn't want to see that. Yeah, as you all know, on the Big Dog Talk podcast, we have a slogan therapy is always in session, and that is why we are now sponsored by BetterHelp. During hard times, it can get really difficult if you don't have anyone to talk to. Being alone with your thoughts can be an isolating feeling that can allow negativity to consume you. Betterhelp has customized online therapy that offers video, phone and even live chat sessions with your therapist, so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. Some of the things that we have learned from our therapists on the Big Dog Talk podcast are how to be emotionally available, why it's important to practice self-care and calming activities to ease anxiety.
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Speaker 1:Welcome back to another episode of the BigDogTalk podcast. It's me Y'all should be clapping. It's me BigChalk. It's me BigChalks in the building, baby.
Speaker 2:It's your girl, bigshay, and I'm back in the building. What's up y'all? We hope y'all are feeling great today. Oh yeah, oh yeah, it's a great day to be alive. I like your glasses. Oh, thank you.
Speaker 1:Thank you, okay, you're looking real nostalgic and I'm a 90s girl, yeah, you know.
Speaker 2:I'm a 90s girl. Yeah, Harlem girl at that New Yorkers boy.
Speaker 1:The New Yorkers come about. 10 red flags from the jump, not 10 red flags.
Speaker 2:Listen, the New Yorkers come about oh my God, don't let me have to get my homegirls on you. The.
Speaker 1:New York women are like the toughest women I've ever met in my life Her homegirls. They tough Y'all tough. Look, I wanted to dive right into it. What's up? I want to be straight. I want to be straightforward. Be honest, you straight shooting it today, straight shooting it. I've been having some issues about something.
Speaker 2:Really.
Speaker 1:No, I'm dead serious. I've been so I feel like I can, possibly and I'm standing on the mic on purpose, because we use this platform for our own accountability as well. This is true, I feel like I could possibly. No, I'm spending too much time on technology. Honestly, I'm. I don't know if it's because I'm getting caught up in the growth of social media, our following going up, whatever excuse it is. I know I'm on the phone too much and even some days when I come home from work and I see you on the phone and landing a bit on the phone, it bothers me mentally. It's just been on my brain a lot. That's why I sent you a message this morning where the CEO of Apple he was saying that we didn't create these phones to ruin your lives.
Speaker 1:We created these phones to make your lives better. And the question was asked to him so are you saying that the Apple phones are ruining lives? I'm saying that we didn't create these phones to ruin your lives. We created these phones to make your lives better. But if your eyes are focused on your phone more than your eyes are focused on your family and your loved ones and the things that you love doing, then your focus is off and it just ties into what I was already dealing with. So I want to make like a. I need you to hold me accountable to that. I want to be better when it comes to being on social media, being on my phone, being more present, because I do feel like technology is getting the best of us all, starting with me.
Speaker 2:I mean based off of the work that you do, and not to make an excuse because you said what you said and there's always a solution for everything. Right, that's just the way we live our lives. There's a solution for everything, however, based off of the work that you do. In being a social media content creator, influencer, that tool is like work. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:It's work, you're literally working every time you're on the phone. So I mean I'm looking at it like, yeah, you're using the phone, which also working. So do you need to really look at it as trying to incorporate more work-life balance? You know what I mean, since that's your tool for work? No, I feel like I need to plan better. That's exactly what I mean work-life balance. So the next thing would be, the next thing would be, is plan better, but shout out to you like just as a positive note First of all, I appreciate your transparency.
Speaker 2:This is an area in our relationship where we could both do some improvement, for sure, because for me, during the day, I'm not on my phone as much with the work that I do, since it's so hands-on. In the evening, the way my mind is wrapped around it, it's like a way to decompress. So that's how I'm using mine, because during the day I'm using my phone, but it's like for communication, you know, for business purposes. So at the end of the day, when I'm shouting in bed, I grab my phone to decompress from the day.
Speaker 1:I know like with me. I know it's for work, but also I gotta be honest with myself. I go to look and see if we grew any. Did we get a new follower? But I'm realizing, though, that I can still I can put that focus elsewhere, though I don't have to keep picking up my phone and see if we got a new follower, how many downloads we got this week. I can plan better with the timing that I post my content.
Speaker 2:So when.
Speaker 1:I get home, I can just put the phone down and just be with my family. You know, I know for sure it's been something that's been eating me up. Then when I, like you, say with you you're not on the phone on social media, like that, during the day I am, I don't get to turn it off. Like I have to be intentional with that. And it's just been bothering me, though, and it just makes me think about Do you think technology is ruining relationships in today's time?
Speaker 2:I mean in all fairness and honesty, just as it relates to us. In relation to us, there are times when we could give each other more face time, you know, since we're to get where we miss a lot of hours in the day being away from each other, right, and so there are times at the end of our day we're winding down that we could utilize that time to do something else. That requires face time versus technology time. It could be with us, you know what I mean. It could be with the kids, it could be dangling and reading a book, it could be anything that we could use outside of technology. But even though the CEO of Apple said that, I mean it's addictive and that's just the way the brain operates.
Speaker 1:And I'm feeling like it's becoming addictive. It's a habit.
Speaker 2:it's becoming addictive, and so, like I would say, just since we're being transparent, the only time that I feel it from you that you're on your phone is when I'm trying to watch a movie or a show. I want you to be in it, but you may have to pick your phone up a few times. That's the only time that I really feel it, because I do also look at your phone as work from my perspective.
Speaker 1:And I hear you, but a lot of times I don't want to use the word that I'm. I don't want to use addictive, but I can possibly be addicted though it's addictive Because I don't have to be. A lot of times I go and check my phone just to see if it grew any yeah. If the platform grew. Yeah, I need to be fully present. And there's no way I can be fully present, like keeping my phone on side of me. It's just. I have to get better at that.
Speaker 2:Maybe, maybe, but I'm just gonna be gonna stick with this for a minute and then solutions can't come.
Speaker 2:You know you're not the only one, though. A lot of us are addicted to our phones. I mean, you can just be out and look around and you'll see people in the grocery store, you'll see people at the movies, like places where you know you should just be fully involved, and you know, maybe grocery shopping or whatever it is that you're doing and hand it phone is in hand for a lot of us right now. So I do think that there is it's a form of addiction and a source of addiction with everything that comes along with that piece of technology that we bring everywhere with us. I do, I do.
Speaker 1:I mean, just think about it For me. I know I put like hours in a day of looking into my phone. I know that I could be more focused and put my energy somewhere else. For some reason well, not for some reason. I think technology was designed to be addictive. That's just the truth of the matter, but in my mind I feel like I have to go and see, did something happen, big today for the business Yesterday today? Instead of saying you know what? I'm just going to keep grinding, I'm going to keep going.
Speaker 1:I'm going to plan at this time and this time I'm going to be on the phone when I get home for the first hour or two. I need to be fully present at home. I know I can get better on that. And the reason I'm standing on the podcast because I need to hear myself when I go back and watch this Right right, right. This is something that I need to work on because I can be putting that energy elsewhere. I know I can be.
Speaker 2:I mean honestly. We live in a modern society where we want to capture everything, everybody's capturing everything. You know what I mean. You're at dinner with your loved ones. You want to capture that. You on vacation with your loved ones you want to capture that. Because anything that we're doing, we have the mindset now, in 2024, and before that, if it's not captured, it didn't happen.
Speaker 1:Right, right. If it's not captured, it didn't happen.
Speaker 2:It didn't happen and we fell into the what's the word. The matrix, the cycle, the system, the system, the cycle, the mental warfare. We fell into it Because if you don't document it with your phone, it really didn't, it wasn't there, you wasn't there. I really told myself and this and I Remember we used to do vacations and we used to say when we go on vacation.
Speaker 1:We're not doing anything.
Speaker 2:We're not gonna be on our phone. We're not gonna be on social media. We have not done that in years.
Speaker 1:We still feel like we have to capture something.
Speaker 2:Still feel like we gotta capture something.
Speaker 1:I honestly, within the next two and a half three years, I honestly hope. I'm off of social media, or way less.
Speaker 2:Way less.
Speaker 1:Like right now in my mind, I'm using social media as a platform to deposit as many good seeds I can into the world. But a goal of mine? I wanna be on social media less. I wanna spend more time doing valuable things. I don't wanna share everything with the world. I wanna just deposit good seeds. So good seeds because social media is a tool, if you use it, the correct way, it definitely is a positive tool as well.
Speaker 1:It's a positive tool if we use it correctly. But I don't want it to get to the point where technology is consuming my life and my marriage and my time with my kids and next thing you know, I'll look up in my kids. I mean, I know we are pretty present, we are really present.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1:But the bigger picture is I can spend more time Right. I can be even more With time, being so precious, yes.
Speaker 2:Kids growing up quickly and life can just change in the blink of an eye.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. And then it's also like that tug of war with social media where I follow a lot of positive influencers that absolutely that's their job.
Speaker 1:You know.
Speaker 2:But aside from that being their job, they're absolutely showing every single thing that they do. Every single thing that they do is displayed for the world to see.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And is it positive? Absolutely. I don't follow negative stuff, so they're absolutely positive and fluid, showcasing beauty, showcasing family, showcasing relationship. You know what I mean Healthy eating exercises. But the caveat is they're showing every fine detail of their life, or maybe they're just portraying it that way. Right, right, that's another thing. Maybe they're just portraying it that way so that you feel like you have this inside look into everything that's going on into their lives.
Speaker 1:Do you feel like technology is affecting relationships in a negative way?
Speaker 2:I mean absolutely. I do because also, like when I watch you know just things that trend on. And when you say technology I guess I'm mostly going to answer this question in relation to social media Like now we have to see, like people that are like having arguments or breakups in their relationship, like nothing is kept private anymore, nothing is kept like sacred anymore as it relates to like relationships, highs and lows, like, like, like if you are a celebrity, you got to feel like you have to make this, or just anybody. You have to feel like you have to make this public statement around something that should be very personal in instrument of your relationship. You feel like you have to broadcast it, you know, for the world to see, because that's the way it's set up for success with social media. Like some things absolutely have to be private in a relationship, some things absolutely have to be held sacred in a relationship, and to just disclose all of that to the world all the time it definitely impacts the relationship In a negative way. Technology how do you feel about it?
Speaker 1:Well, I told you how I specifically feel about it. As far as myself, I hate that I could possibly be addicted to the technology. I don't know if that's like work whatever.
Speaker 2:Whatever the case is, yeah.
Speaker 1:But just think about it. Everybody is either in the phone, in their computer. We're doing everything for it to be seen Technology. It's an addictive drug and right now I would like put my bets on it. It's probably one of the most addicting drugs out there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's the part we don't talk about, though. Yeah, that's the part we don't talk about, and how it's really driving a lot of the way people spend their time.
Speaker 1:The way people. It's driving the way people spend their time, the way people. It's driving people to depression because we're comparing our lives to one another. It's driving people to put on a facade.
Speaker 2:It's making life harder. Yeah, because at one time we couldn't share everything, at one time we didn't have See, technology makes everything feel so accessible right there, yeah, and we want to see, we want to be entertained by what other people are posting and what they're showing.
Speaker 1:It takes a lot of focus off of us.
Speaker 2:It does, it does.
Speaker 1:It takes a lot.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It takes a lot of focus. It's a great distraction, I'd like to add oh my God, it's a great distraction. Oh my God, I got to do better.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So now, darn it, Now I'm guilty. It just hit me. It just hit me where I, where I identify how I'm addicted to it. So because I'm really not on social media for work purposes, as soon as I wake up in the morning, I'm grabbing my phone.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like I'm grabbing my phone, I wake up at six, I probably don't get out the bed, so it's 6.45. So that 45 minutes is spent wasting time to see what happened on social media. And I do it every single day. In the days that I am dang, in the days that I'm rushing, I feel like I don't, you know, like I'm running out of time is because I decided to say five more minutes, five more minutes, five more minutes. So now I'm jumping up, you know, to get all the things that I need to do and I could do them in a much calmer, relaxed start your day kind of way. And it's funny that we're talking about this, because when we did our vision board party with the kids, with our family, for New Year's Eve that's how we brought it in One of my sections was all about having like a positive, great start to my morning, and so this is making me realize that that's where I absolutely need to do better and I need to find a new strategy.
Speaker 2:Obviously, I put it as a goal for a reason and not even realizing that, like there's certain times of the day that I get consumed, when I could be, you know, I don't know I could be doing crunches. I wanna get my stomach back. I could be waking up, doing crunches and meditating or, you know, setting the tone for the day. That's what I'm talking about. I'm supposed to be setting the tone for a great day as a part of my vision board.
Speaker 1:So like for me.
Speaker 2:Dang big Charles.
Speaker 1:On my vision, People do better, While on my vision board I put build focus like a muscle. You know I already. I don't touch my phone right when I wake up. I make sure I go through my gratitudes, I make sure I pray and I meditate first. I got all of that part down. It's the in-between time though.
Speaker 2:All of the in-between yeah.
Speaker 1:It's the in-between time that can be planned better. For sure I'm giving too much energy to my phone. For sure that I'm putting too much energy and I'm not leaving the phone upstairs, but I feel like I gotta put it somewhere safe, put it somewhere around me.
Speaker 2:But not in your. But not right right, not Right, not there.
Speaker 1:Right, that's a distracted, but just the fact that I have to think that way shows that it has a stronghold on me some kind of way. That's true, and in 2024, I am building focus like a huge muscle.
Speaker 2:So let me ask you this Even though you know I feel like we have a healthy relationship, do you feel that like it's impacting our relationship as well?
Speaker 1:So I'm glad you asked me that. I'm glad you asked me that, because there was a time, not even too long ago, where it is a thing. So, to answer your question in simple terms, Answer how you wanna answer.
Speaker 1:I am, but I don't wanna take a long time to answer that part. Yes, I do feel like it impacts us at time, but it also depends on my level of awareness and how I'm feeling that day. You know, did I get enough sleep? Am I aggravated Cause? When I'm aggravated I'm like man, when I come home, you still on the damn phone. You see what I'm saying, why you ain't showing me. Give me a hug when I get home. You know I've had these thoughts, not recently, but it's been a when. I say not too long ago. It's been last year, last year I can remember having these thoughts like when I come home you land in the bed on your phone. You know, now I'm realized then some days I would use it as an excuse. Okay, she's on the phone. When I get home, when I got the shot, I'm just sitting down on my chair and get on my phone.
Speaker 2:Right, right, you see what I'm saying. That's what we doing. That's how we spend time. That's how we spend time. We're staying home on our phone.
Speaker 1:But how present are we though? How present are we, if we're doing that?
Speaker 2:You know what I mean, yeah, or talking about what we saying on social media. Low vibrational stuff. You know what I'm saying. So, yeah, yeah, I agree.
Speaker 1:I'm not even gonna lie to you. I went so much so I started deleting a lot of followers on my Instagram pages. When I go on there, I only use it to. I only use it to for positivity. When I open up Instagram, I go on there to see positive things. But my addiction is to technology, is the business. So I see all of the growth from the business. But I need to and I know where I need to focus that Transition, that focus too. I've already told you this morning and every other day I know where I need to transition that focus too. So, as of today, I have to make a commitment that I am really transitioning that focus. I'm gonna plan better when it comes to being on the technology and how much time and energy I give to it. It is definitely, it's an addiction.
Speaker 2:So this brings me like this is me segueing from social media to like just technical devices. So how do you feel like, even as it relates to children, you know, with the game?
Speaker 1:and systems. Is it both?
Speaker 2:systems and their laptops. And you know, in our home our kids they have laptops. You know they have their gaming systems and they spend a lot of time on that's how they choose to spend their free time, if you will. So, and our kids are not the only kids in the world doing it.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm not, I'm talking about my kids, my power, my hour, control. So, like this morning, like listen, our kids are way above average, absolutely, but it still bothers me how much they're on technology. I walked into my son room this morning and he failed to sleep with a computer by his bed and it was on and it had music on, the light was on. All of this is going into his subconscious mind. Oh yeah, so I was this morning and all of this stuff has already been eaten away at me. Right, it's like okay, we gotta bring this in, we gotta get some control of this.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Because I don't like what is doing to our children Like they have to go.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Family time is family time. We don't bring technology.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:No, but also as times they feel like they can't go downstairs without their tech. That's part of their relaxation is having that technology. What happened to?
Speaker 2:Clearly.
Speaker 1:What happened to like going outside and like being in nature and allowing your mind to be free and be creative? Right, being addicted to technology is a thing, that's a thing.
Speaker 2:It's a thing right now and I'm saying that because it's trickling. Listen. It's trickled down all the way to children ages like six months to five years of age. It's trickled down to everywhere. I've never seen in my life where three year olds and two and a half year olds absolutely know how to operate tablets and iPhones and things like that. So it's a dang near. What is it Epidemic going on right now with technology? It's a thing.
Speaker 1:I work with students who are autistic, and some of the first things that they say when they get to school is laptop. Yeah thanks, and I'm not saying like the past judgment, I'm saying to bring some awareness to how serious this addiction is.
Speaker 2:I think even that's this conversation is doing, even for myself today, like bringing awareness to me personally our relationship, you know things that we can absolutely adjust and monitor more closely in our household. You know what I mean. It's good conversation. It's good conversation and hopefully, you know, through us being transparent and working through it on the mic, you know our listeners will be able to hear it and you know identify if they too have, you know, an addiction to social media or technology or how that's showing up in their homes as well. Because it's time, it's intentionality, it's also, like you said, what goes into our, you know, unconscious mind consistently, constantly, every day, for hours at a time, and it really deteriorates it. It's not building it up, it's not strengthening it, it's not, you know, making the cell stronger. It's really deteriorating it, it's really idle. It does nothing for your brain. Nothing for your brain Besides create that addiction and that chemical keeps wanting to be fat and fat and fat and fat and fat, and so we keep feeding it.
Speaker 1:And that's how I feel, though.
Speaker 2:Keep feeding. There's a chemical that's.
Speaker 1:I'll put my phone down, then once, one minute later, I'll grab it again.
Speaker 2:You're ready to tell you to pick it up. For what that you? I completely.
Speaker 1:I don't like nothing having control over me like that. That's about to be broken, for Today is like a therapy session for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I'm in it with you. I'm here, we're here together. We have a couples therapy Welcome to couples therapy where Big Shay and Big Charles get real transparent and come up with some solutions For real. So I've heard people use like a basket or some sort like where you got to drop it in a basket when it's not time for using it. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:So we're going to create some practices.
Speaker 2:So that means like Some things got to change, because that means like we need a, I need a, my phone is my alarm, like it's just like you know certain things that we've already created habits around that we would just have to undo and learn some new, healthier habits. I don't want to say, oh, I got to have my phone in here because it has my alarm and that's what wakes me up. Well, I got to create another system, you know what I mean. So that's just one thing that I've heard. And people put their phones in basket at a certain time of day and at that point it is what it is.
Speaker 1:You know, even yesterday you were like, oh, you left your phone upstairs and I did it intentionally. I left my phone upstairs so I wouldn't be looking at my phone over and over.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sometimes I might do that on purpose, like I want to be fully present.
Speaker 1:Do you realize how fast life is going? I want to be fully present. I want to give my attention to the person or the people who's around me. If I feel like I have to have my phone in my, even if I just put it in my pocket, it still gives me a sense of I'm not giving you all of my attention. Have you seen your pocket? Even if it's in my pocket and I'm talking to you.
Speaker 2:Really.
Speaker 1:Yes, it's there If it rains. That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to look at it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if it deans notification, I'm definitely going to look, we all going to look, I mean, because we even had like a big day with our eldest son yesterday. You know, a good day with him, and I'm thinking about it now Like while we were waiting, we were both on our phones, like passing time, you know.
Speaker 1:Taking videos of him like, oh, this is going to be a good moment. He's going to be happy about this.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, all right, that's it, uh-uh.
Speaker 2:Uh-uh, we have officially come to the conclusion, for ourselves and our family, that hi? Excuse me, my name is Shea Vaughn Bixay Hawkins and I am addicted to my cell phone and technology.
Speaker 1:Hi, my name is Charles Hawkins and I am also addicted to my cell phone and technology.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Dang. I didn't ever. I didn't want to say that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's true, I feel some kind of way. It's true Because, see, now I'm such an emotional person. I'm like did I miss certain moments? Because you know I start, I'm starting to go way down the rabbit hole, you know, and you know it's a big deal.
Speaker 1:We got to put some tools in place, some practice in place, and I don't even want to continue to allow that to be the expectation in our household for our children.
Speaker 2:I don't even want that for them because they're so bright, so smart and for me, you know, as a teacher, I want their brains to always continue to do things to get stronger.
Speaker 1:It's not allowing them to be creative.
Speaker 2:It's not allowing them to be creative. It stunts a lot of that. It stunts a lot of it.
Speaker 1:So Take us out of here.
Speaker 2:Today was a good day. Take us out of here High revelations. I can't, I can't do it.
Speaker 1:You guys go like and subscribe to Big Dog Talk podcast YouTube channel. Follow us on Big Dog Talk podcast. Underscore podcast on IG Tik Tock Facebook. Like and subscribe. Share. We're addicted.
Speaker 2:We're addicted. We're addicted working on it. We're gonna give y'all an update too. We're gonna give y'all an update. Got to Damn. Yeah, that was good, though.
Speaker 1:Until next time.
Speaker 2:Love y'all.
Speaker 1:Peace, put those phones down tet.