Big Dog Talk w/ Charles and Shayvon

Expressing Love Every Day: Secret To Strong Relationship - Ep.33 | Big Dog Talk Podcast

February 13, 2024 Charles Hawkins III
Expressing Love Every Day: Secret To Strong Relationship - Ep.33 | Big Dog Talk Podcast
Big Dog Talk w/ Charles and Shayvon
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Big Dog Talk w/ Charles and Shayvon
Expressing Love Every Day: Secret To Strong Relationship - Ep.33 | Big Dog Talk Podcast
Feb 13, 2024
Charles Hawkins III

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On this episode, we dive deep into the transformative power of daily love gestures and how they can significantly strengthen your relationship. From the simplicity of physical touch to the profound impact of quality time, we explore actionable ways to express your affection and build a deeper emotional connection daily. 

Join us as we uncover the secrets to sustaining love, enhancing intimacy, and celebrating love in everyday moments.

This episode is about Expressing Love Every Day: Secret To Strong Relationship - Ep.33.  But It also covers the following topics:

Express Affection Daily
Strengthen Bonds
Love Language Practices

Episode Title: Expressing Love Every Day: Secret To Strong Relationship - Ep.33 | Big Dog Talk Podcast

Support the Show.

Big Dog Talk w/ Charles and Shayvon
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Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Send us a Text Message.

On this episode, we dive deep into the transformative power of daily love gestures and how they can significantly strengthen your relationship. From the simplicity of physical touch to the profound impact of quality time, we explore actionable ways to express your affection and build a deeper emotional connection daily. 

Join us as we uncover the secrets to sustaining love, enhancing intimacy, and celebrating love in everyday moments.

This episode is about Expressing Love Every Day: Secret To Strong Relationship - Ep.33.  But It also covers the following topics:

Express Affection Daily
Strengthen Bonds
Love Language Practices

Episode Title: Expressing Love Every Day: Secret To Strong Relationship - Ep.33 | Big Dog Talk Podcast

Support the Show.

Speaker 1:

And then, lastly, it's physical touch Pretty self-explanatory. It's the intimacy, it's the hugging, it's the kissing, it's the holding of the hand.

Speaker 2:

Rubbing the head, rubbing the back, butt massages A few butt massages in there.

Speaker 1:

My feet, all the things. So those are the five love languages. As you all know, on the Big Dog Talk podcast, we have a slogan therapy is always in session, and that is why we are now sponsored by BetterHelp. During hard times, it can get really difficult if you don't have anyone to talk to. Being alone with your thoughts can be an isolating feeling that can allow negativity to consume you. Betterhelp has customized online therapy that offers video, phone and even live chat sessions with your therapist, so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. Some of the things that we have learned from our therapists on the Big Dog Talk podcast are how to be emotionally available, why it's important to practice self-care and calming activities to ease anxiety.

Speaker 1:

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Speaker 2:

Welcome back to another episode of the Big Dog Talk podcast. It's me, the one and only Big Charles in the building, baby.

Speaker 1:

What's up y'all? It's your girl, Big Shay, and I'm back in the building with this one.

Speaker 2:

What's the attitude for all of you? What's the attitude for Let me?

Speaker 1:

just tell y'all this right now, before we get into anything Wait.

Speaker 2:

Before we get into anything podcasty.

Speaker 1:

I got to keep it real with y'all. This has been the most rocky start to a work day I think we've had in a very long time. I'm not going to say ever, because we've had some rocky ones, but that we've had in a very long time.

Speaker 2:

It's raining outside.

Speaker 1:

Rain don't have nothing to do with nothing. Nothing, execution wise.

Speaker 2:

Well, last year, you guys used to be used to talk about, whatever season it is in the air, the signs, and so maybe it's one of those signs that you usually talk about.

Speaker 1:

We're not about to talk about Mercury retro and no cold moon on any of that. You're not about to find an excuse as to why you fumbled the ball, it's the Mercury. You all fumbled the ball multiple times this morning.

Speaker 2:

It's the Mercury.

Speaker 1:

And I'm expecting you to recover.

Speaker 2:

It's the Mercury. It's the Mercury.

Speaker 1:

Left the work keys to the studio, not once.

Speaker 2:

It's the Mercury.

Speaker 1:

But twice, since he don't want to say it, don't have on his wedding ring.

Speaker 2:

It's the Mercury.

Speaker 1:

Decided to take a long ass business call in the middle of recording time. We're just going to start this work day, an hour ago An hour and a half ago.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that is true, that is very true, he wouldn't blame it on the rain and the mercury.

Speaker 1:

No, we're not doing that today. Not doing that.

Speaker 2:

It's the second week in a row. I think you showed up with attitude. I don't have attitude. No, I just make my attitude, my attitude is clear.

Speaker 1:

I've dealt with this very well this morning.

Speaker 2:

Very well. So the second time when I forgot my keys and I was like damn it. I've got to turn around. I looked at you, you look, you look. I looked at you and you just focusing on the road. I know you was talking bad about me and your mind, but it's so good.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I was looking out the window.

Speaker 2:

It's the mercury.

Speaker 1:

Whatever Happy Black History Month.

Speaker 2:

Happy Black History Month.

Speaker 1:

I absolutely love February. I love Black History Month. I do, I do, I do. I got a perspective on that, though I ain't, I'm just saying it is what it is, so I like to acknowledge it but go ahead and get into it.

Speaker 2:

So why would you do that before I acknowledge it?

Speaker 1:

though, because that's what I feel like doing to you today.

Speaker 2:

I don't even want to talk about it, no more.

Speaker 1:

Give your perspective. I love to hear it.

Speaker 2:

So Black History Month for me. I represent it every single day. That's what I do. I do my best to acknowledge it and be the example that I'm grateful for history.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely.

Speaker 2:

Before me past, the present and the future, Absolutely. Sometimes I get in my emotions a little bit because we only celebrate it in February, Right? But yeah, I do my best to be the example.

Speaker 1:

Of black excellence, of black excellence Every single day.

Speaker 2:

Every single day and not just a month.

Speaker 1:

I mean making a choice to celebrate only in February is a choice that one could make.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

Right, we don't make that choice. You know what I'm saying. But, like the memes say, I'm black every day, but I'm black, blackity, black when it comes to February. So happy black history month.

Speaker 2:

That's like one of the most ignorant memes.

Speaker 1:

Whatever, whatever you, let me tell you something Recover, Recover.

Speaker 2:

Anyway, what we talking about, what we discussing.

Speaker 1:

Recover. And also happy almost Valentine's Day to my annoying love. No, today and every day for the rest of my life.

Speaker 2:

Keep talking like that. I'm gonna take my surprise back.

Speaker 1:

What.

Speaker 2:

What Keep talking like that?

Speaker 1:

I say it to the love of my life now and I'm Lord. And I sang it too. I got a surprise.

Speaker 2:

Keep showing off. Keep showing off to the people, man.

Speaker 1:

Everybody's showing off to the people. So it's funny though, because, talking about Valentine's Day, that used to be the day that I got to shower you, you know, with my love and show you how much I love and value and appreciate you. You know gifts, you know acts of service, you know quality time, all the things.

Speaker 2:

You know it took me some time getting used to that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it took well. Yeah, I feel like this is the well. Finally, you're used to it. But I'd say this is only like second or third.

Speaker 2:

Well, I took over.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so that's what I'm getting to. I'm getting to the fact that this last year but this year we're gonna talk about this year in particular it was like a race to see you know who gonna show out the hardest thing. You absolutely beat me this year.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

As it relates to what the plans are for Valentine's Day, and on the mic let's just say y'all, I don't even know what the plans are for Valentine's Day. I have absolutely no idea. All I know is that we're going somewhere and she needs to get super cute and super fly. But I don't know where we're going. But I've been told that I might find out tonight so that I can make sure that my outfit is absolutely at its flyest and appropriateness for the evening.

Speaker 2:

Well, I've never dropped the ball yet.

Speaker 1:

No you've never dropped the ball.

Speaker 2:

I don't drop the ball, I do fly stuff. No, absolutely I do fly stuff, so I don't you know, how that go.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely. And let's just say that, like you are definitely like in the spirit of always, like surprising me you know I love surprises.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

You surprised me for my birthday this past birthday in November, with the family coming to DC, like you always have, like something up your sleeve.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I don't drop the ball.

Speaker 1:

So I'm super excited for that. I'm super excited that we've planned our anniversary trip this year, right, I'm just feeling super excited, like I'm feeling good today.

Speaker 2:

Well, back on the Valentine, though. Back on the Valentine For some time, though for some time. It took me a while, because you usually would shower me down for Valentine day, absolutely, and in the beginning, when you started that, I felt like I was being emasculated. Really, really. We never discussed this before.

Speaker 1:

Oh wow, please let's get into that.

Speaker 2:

We never talked about it. We never talked about it.

Speaker 1:

We're on uncut today. I didn't expect this.

Speaker 2:

Hell, I wasn't expecting it. I'm just now that we're talking about it. When we first you taking care of me on Valentine day, you taking me out, you paying for everything, you setting up the date, you getting me gifts on Valentine day, and you done that for years. And then, when we first started, I was a little thrown off by that and I felt he massacred it. I had to get used to it. But as time went on, it was also showing me that men deserve to be treated a certain kind of way as well, like that is not just about the woman, it's not just about the woman feelings my feelings matter as well.

Speaker 1:

Yes, you know, yes, so I absolutely love that for you. I love this revelation on the mic. You know, I don't know if I've said this too, but like every single day you've said this before, but anyway, every single day like you really have a huge focus on me, Right?

Speaker 1:

You know, what I mean and making sure that I'm good, I have what I need. You know I'm feeling okay, Just really, you know, taking really good care of me. And so in my mind, I had separated that day from doing what's normally done, where most of the focus on the woman because I get the focus, thankfully, and I'm doing it every single day, you know, in our relationship, in our marriage.

Speaker 1:

So that was something that I wanted to do differently in our marriage, which was like show up and show out for you on Valentine's Day and really just make it all about you.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

But you took it back.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I took it back.

Speaker 1:

You took it back this year, second year taking it back.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and I don't even know how to feel or act.

Speaker 1:

Honestly, I really don't know how to feel or act, because it was something that I looked forward to on something that I planned. So, like I don't really know how to act now, Well, it's the thing, though.

Speaker 2:

I don't like getting comfortable, being comfortable. I don't like that. I was getting comfortable.

Speaker 1:

So you basically shaking up the room.

Speaker 2:

I'm shaking up the room, shaking up the room and plus it's a. You know, that's what you look at you.

Speaker 1:

I'm feeling real lovey-dovey right now.

Speaker 2:

Right, but yeah, you're going to get fly. I got a full day planned for us.

Speaker 1:

Oh, I love full day y'all.

Speaker 2:

And you get to dress real fly. I get to hold your hand, I get to look you in your eyes and we get to be with each other.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so, in the spirit of love and you know Valentine's Day let's get into love languages and understanding. You know your partner and so, like you planned this date for me and us, and so I'm going to go ahead and say that I feel like you probably tapped into one of the five love languages because I feel like you know me pretty well, so you know the things that I like. But before we get into that, for the listeners and the viewers that may not be familiar with the five love languages, the first one I don't think it's in any particular order Either. It's just five love languages. So the first one is words of affirmation. So what does that mean? Words of affirmation?

Speaker 2:

I'm pouring into your soul positivity, telling you how beautiful you are, how strong you are. Yes, you know how intelligent you are, how sexy you are, you know how beautiful that smile is.

Speaker 1:

That's words of affirmation, check. The second one is acts of service. I'll say that's like me bringing you your plate. I love doing that. You filling up my gas tank, you know weekly, so that I don't have to do those things. You bringing my laundry basket upstairs because you don't want me carrying anything too heavy that might make my hands sweaty.

Speaker 2:

You preparing my lunch for the week?

Speaker 1:

Yes, absolutely. Preparing your lunch for the week and planning around that. So that's acts of service, gifts pretty straightforward, that's pretty straightforward. Giving gifts and then quality time. That's our emphasis on date nights and, you know, celebrating anniversaries and birthdays or intimacy or, just like yesterday, you know, playing a game of scrabble together to build that connectivity and that togetherness in the moment. And then, lastly, is physical touch Pretty self-explanatory. It's the intimacy, it's the hugging, it's the kissing, it's the holding of the hands.

Speaker 2:

Rubbing the head. Rubbing the head, rub the back, rub the back.

Speaker 1:

Butt massages A few butt massages in there, my feet.

Speaker 2:

Look at all the things. So those are the five love languages.

Speaker 1:

And the funny thing is that I was thinking about this, you know, as I was like thinking about the topic, I feel like, depending on where you are in your relationship, or maybe not even your relationship, but depending on where you are as an individual I feel like the five love languages can also change.

Speaker 2:

Correct.

Speaker 1:

And so I think that, like I came up with that, like thought as I was, you know, thinking through like five love languages, like you may not have the same love language the whole time you're in a relationship, or just as an individual, which you feel like you need from someone that you're in a relationship with, I agree. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

I agree. See, the thing is, different seasons require different things. There you go. You know you may be in the season of let's just say, I don't want to start off negative but so you depress and you just need acts of love. So I, hey, I got you, I'm bringing you this today. I got you this today. You know, it just depends on what season you are in. So, hey, I agree with it.

Speaker 1:

You might be focusing on something individual. You just like, babe, you know what You're doing, a good job, I'm proud of you. You're doing it Like keep going. Yeah, I know you could do it. So you might be in a season where you need words of affirmation, you know, but I really think that if people focused more on like identifying their partners, love, language and whatever season that they're in, I think it will really bring about like good sustainability and like just feeling good in your relationship with your significant other.

Speaker 2:

But the only way that you can really pay attention to what season your partner is in, you have to really sit your ass down and be still and pay attention, like less talking and more listening, observing your partner Like you got to get out of the phase of selfishness and get into the most. The highest form is selflessness. The only way that I can know intentionally what phase my partner is in I have to take time to observe and study and pay attention, and that requires me closing my mouth, less talking, more listening, more observing and sitting in that still place. And when you sit in that still place, that's when that non-conceptional intelligence is activated and that God energy will let you know exactly what your partner need in that given time.

Speaker 1:

That's absolutely like what you just said brilliant and spot on, because while you were saying that, I was thinking through just different phases of life and just different phases that we've gone through together in our marriage and how each one of us picked a love language out of the five to show up for each other.

Speaker 1:

You know what I mean. So you know, let's just say, you know, like the loss of my grandmother a few years ago, I was in a heavy grieving, you know, period and really not in a space to really make a whole lot of decisions. You know, as it relates to what I needed or what I needed from you, like it was just there was no mental capacity to be like this is what I need right now, if you ask, what do you need, I don't even know what I need. And so in that moment, I just remember, you know, you really tapping into a lot of words of affirmation, a lot of support, a lot of you know I'm here to support system let's talk about it but also, like that quality time, like getting me out the house, you know, taking me to do things that you know that I like to do, just in a way to create positive energy and a way to do things that you know that I enjoy to change my mind, my feelings, my thought processes. For that moment.

Speaker 2:

And to help you get through just the.

Speaker 1:

Moment.

Speaker 2:

The day by day. Yes, so, that's it. See that. See, everything that you just explained is called is a demonstration of what we call an ancient teachings Is agape love, Agape love is. You said earlier that you didn't even know what you needed.

Speaker 1:

I didn't know and had a capacity.

Speaker 2:

So that's the thing about agape love. That's the phase of love that's after maturity. Meaning what I mean by that is big Shea. Agape love is where I love you and give you what you need, even though you don't know you need it. I give you a certain kind of love, even though, at this moment, how you're loving me doesn't. It's not equal or equivalent to what I'm giving out to you. Right, I'm giving you what you don't really as in the physical life, what you don't deserve right now. As far as Am I making sense on my something, keep going.

Speaker 2:

When you were in agape love, you give in the essence of pure selflessness. That's why I say it's nothing about me. It was nothing in that phase of life. It was nothing about me. I wasn't making it about me. It was all about you showing up for you, loving you exactly how you needed to be loved, to be that support to help you get out of what you needed to get out of. So you didn't have the capacity to be there for me how I needed you to be there for me. You didn't have that. No, I didn't so. But if I was stuck there and that selfishness, if I wasn't able to go higher and get into selflessness and not selfishness, I got out of that ego, that phase of love, and I went to agape love, agape love. I'm just going to show up, regardless of what you do for me and what you don't do for me.

Speaker 1:

See, this is why I absolutely got it. I got it. I hope y'all got it too, because that was really loaded. This is what I love about tying in freaking self-development and self-awareness, because in a relationship, if each party is not focused on themselves and self-developing self-awareness, becoming the best version of themselves, in those moments where one could be going through grief, one could be going through depression, you won't have the tools or the awareness to be able to even tap in at that level and, instead of showing up for your partner in a way that's beneficial to push them through what they're going through, it could absolutely, on the flip side, cause separation, tension and conflict in the relationship. Because, in hindsight, I had nothing to give you, absolutely nothing to give you, none of them.

Speaker 1:

No, not one of those five love languages that I have to give you. I was only focused on just the basic needs, like making sure you ate. You know what I mean. You have food. Are you hungry? Okay, that's about as far as I can go, the basic level of needs on the hierarchy pyramid, and so that could have very well caused a lot of frustration, and it may have, but you handled it, you know, in a way where you're self aware that could have very well caused a lot of conflict in our marriage at that time.

Speaker 2:

Well, here's the thing.

Speaker 1:

In all like transparency.

Speaker 2:

If we just get down and dirty with it with the nitty gritty marriage relationships, we are all going to go through phases individually where we don't deserve the love that we are receiving.

Speaker 1:

Facts.

Speaker 2:

We're going to go through that. That's a part of relationships. Now I pick and choose who I want to do it for. Why wouldn't I show up for you in a way that I did when you are the mother of my children? When this woman bring me a height plate every single day, why wouldn't I show up for you when you always pouring into me? Why wouldn't I do that? Only a selfish person wouldn't show up and do something like only a selfish, immature being. And the reality is, we all have our season where we don't deserve to be loved. But here's the flip thing, though If you don't do that self-development, if you don't do that time removing the BS that's consuming your thoughts, if we don't take the time to develop, we will get caught up and consumed by the small battles in life.

Speaker 1:

Yep.

Speaker 2:

I could have easily said Big Shay, you not be enough of me right now and be telling the truth.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

There are seasons in my life where you could easily say Big Charles, you haven't been showing up for me and it has been the truth, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yep.

Speaker 2:

This is what. This is why I can keep going. You want me to keep going?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I mean, I think so. I think like there's a lot of meat in this right, because for us, we're speaking from almost 12 years of marriage and just almost what 15, 16 years in relationship, and this conversation is loaded because of the experiences and the wisdom that we get to have this kind of conversation from. You know what I'm saying? We've been through the wringer.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

That's funny.

Speaker 2:

Big Charles never wanted to sit up and act like I was perfect.

Speaker 1:

We've been through the wringer and to even be able to be transparent and have this kind of conversation, and when the mic goes off it was like all right, that was good.

Speaker 2:

Here's the thing, though Like Big Charles, as a leader, as a teacher, as a coach, I never want to present myself as a perfect being, because I'm not. In order to get where I'm at right now, I had to go through the phases of my experience, of my journey. You know, there was a time when I was a little baby, when all I wanted was your attention. And I'm nagging and complaining, baby, I need you for this, I need you for that. There was a time for that. And there was another phase of life when I was starting to Going to my youth phase a little bit, you know, and I'm starting to feel myself and being egotistical. Right, yeah, then I start growing up and being in my man phase.

Speaker 2:

But you know what, baby, I'm going to show up for you. I took care of this, I'm taking care of that. I got the kids. Today, I'm going to make your low lighter. Then, next thing, there's a higher phase than that, which is the spiritual phase. Well, I'm going to love you regardless. I don't care if you hurt me. You go against me. Whatever you do to me have nothing to do with me, have everything to do with you. I'm going to show up for you and my family, no matter what. I fear nothing. I am obsessed with being God-like.

Speaker 1:

Yep.

Speaker 2:

And this is the highest formal phase, and in order to get to that phase you have to spend a lot of time in that divinous. A lot of us are so far removed from who we really are at our true core Yep, because we are consumed by the and imprisoned by the concepts of life, whether it be the concepts that we've learned at home, in our religion, in our culture, in our environment. We have become imprisoned to that we don't know who we are at the core of us. We are so removed from who we are, at the truest of our essence, and we are lost ourselves. And when you get lost yourselves, you get lost up in the world and you adapt to these worldly conceptions, these worldly thoughts, these worldly mindsets. Am I talking too much?

Speaker 1:

No, but ultimately, what we're talking about today is we're talking about relationships right, and so all of that impacts the success, in my opinion, of a relationship Right Absolutely impacts it. So I wanted to.

Speaker 2:

I feel like I just went on a rant.

Speaker 1:

I mean you pick Charles. The people expect you to go on a rant.

Speaker 2:

That's that, god, energy man.

Speaker 1:

What are we gonna do? So I did some research and I wanted to talk about some key findings as it relates to the five love languages and this is just based on in America, what are the top love languages? Okay, so quality time is America's favorite love language to receive. So essentially, most people like to receive quality time from their mate. As you know, from a receptive perspective, acts of service is America's favorite love language to express. Receiving gifts is the least popular love language overall. Throughout their lives, 65% say prefer love languages change. 65% people say that. And in relationships that didn't work, 41% say love languages were never understood.

Speaker 2:

And you say the first one was the first America's love language was receiving.

Speaker 1:

No, america's first, it's receiving Favorite love language, oh, no, no. Quality time. Quality time Is what people like to talk to. People like to receive quality time as their number one. Love language, love language.

Speaker 2:

Making me a priority. Spend time with me, show me. I feel like that's a response from women.

Speaker 1:

Do you really?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you wanna know why I say that, and I'm not saying that to start. No, no, no no, we don't.

Speaker 1:

No, we not doing that yeah.

Speaker 2:

Because women like to see a man be put his best effort in.

Speaker 1:

I could see that.

Speaker 2:

Women like a man, to show them that you wanna put me first and making me a priority, that you wanna spend time with me. Show up for me. Show up with me, give me your best efforts. I feel like that comes from a woman. That's because a woman this is what I've learned from just observing and just shutting my mouth and paying attention. Show me you're gonna be there for me without me asking you to be there for me Yep. Show me that I can count on you. Show me that I'm a priority in your life. Show me that you got time not to just text me or pick up the phone and just say baby, I'm thinking about you today. I feel like that is signs of love that women need.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, make me feel safe. Make me feel secure. Show me that I'm your number one priority. You know what I mean. I come first because we spending all this time together. You know, as a woman like, that's crazy.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, because when you say it like that, like as a woman, like the number one, one of the number one things that women use I've used it in other, I've no ladies y'all use it is to show that a man is really into you is how much time he spends with you. See, you know what I'm saying, how much time he's spending with me, girl, we together all the time. He call me all the time, he texts me all the time, like we together all the time, versus the other scenario where you might see money maybe once or twice a week. So he.

Speaker 1:

If you don't feel fulfilled by that. See, this is Ladies. Am I lying?

Speaker 2:

Let's still get her, get the beeping out the way. See, here's the thing, though. I think, women, this is just my perspective. I'm gonna hold it down. Hold it down, yeah, yeah, and just correct me if you think I'm wrong. Yeah, no problem.

Speaker 2:

A lot of times, both parties in a relationship think they want a perfect being. They want the right person to show up at the right time, and that's not really what you want. You don't want a perfect person. That's a boring life. You want a person that's giving you their absolutely best that they can possibly give you and willing to keep growing along the journey. When you see a person, listen, I'm just gonna use me for an example.

Speaker 2:

Okay, I did not show up perfect. I showed up to this relationship egotistical, very temperamental, having a monster that I would do what I want to when I want to do it. That's how and that's how I showed up to the relationship, and I'm not saying that to be cocky. I'm saying that for To give an example of how I wasn't perfect, but I also was. That also allowed you to see the worst sides of me, but also you also saw that I was showing up for you at your worst times. I was trying my absolute best to be that man that you wanted me to be, even though I wasn't at that maturation yet. I wasn't a perfect man, because men like me don't come with perfection. Confident men come with an attitude. Confident men come with an aura that attracts me. Confident men come with problems, you know. So I don't think a woman looking for a perfect man. I think a woman is looking for a man that's willing to show up and give their absolute best and willing to grow along the journey. Yep.

Speaker 1:

That's dating with potential right there. Perfect example that right there.

Speaker 2:

I could be wrong though. Nope, I have nothing to say I can be wrong, ladies, I can be wrong, I can be wrong. But I'm gonna tell you now, if Big Shay would've accepted me, would have liked me for my perfections, we wouldn't be together right now.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, we focused on. Yeah, no.

Speaker 2:

If you would have focused on my flaws. We would not. If I would have focused on your flaws.

Speaker 1:

Oh no, well you know what. Well you know, as we we keeping it really real on this episode, because we were not who we are today in the beginning of our dating journey. We did kind of focus on each other's flaws and that caused conflict.

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah, we did yeah.

Speaker 1:

That was the part where we bumped heads.

Speaker 2:

We bumped heads a lot.

Speaker 1:

We bumped heads big time, as it related to like just operating under our imperfections.

Speaker 2:

You not doing this? Yeah, you not doing this. Yeah, you not doing this. Who you think you're talking to? Well, you not doing that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you're not doing that to me, you know. So that created a lot of conflict.

Speaker 2:

I think a weak person always points out everybody else flaws and can't see themselves A coward. Does that? A weak individual that's scared to look at their monsters, that's scared to look in the mirror, points to the thing that everybody else but can never look at themselves in the mirror.

Speaker 1:

That takes maturation too. In all defense that takes growth.

Speaker 2:

If you say so.

Speaker 1:

I'm saying it does take growth.

Speaker 2:

I mean it's phases and it takes work. It's phases and it takes a lot of work.

Speaker 1:

That's what I'm saying when I say that it takes work People being willing to work on themselves to get to that point.

Speaker 2:

I mean what's the all roles leads back to self.

Speaker 1:

I mean yeah.

Speaker 2:

That's just the truth of the matter.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

All roles lead back to self, but anyway.

Speaker 1:

Yep, wanna have some fun.

Speaker 2:

I see you already have.

Speaker 1:

You wanna have some fun. What's up? So we are gonna see how well we know each other's love language. So we wrote down on a piece of paper what we think each other's love language is. So, for example, I wrote down what Big Charles I think Big Charles' love language is, and he also wrote it down for himself and we gonna see if we got it right.

Speaker 2:

I really don't like the game, but okay.

Speaker 1:

Why don't you like the game?

Speaker 2:

Let's play the game and I'll tell you why I don't like the game after we play. Finish playing the game.

Speaker 1:

Why you don't like the game you don't wanna have fun.

Speaker 2:

Can we play the game?

Speaker 1:

You won first.

Speaker 2:

What you want me to do. You made up the game.

Speaker 1:

So we're gonna pick, I got chores ready. You pick up the one that say me and this is gonna.

Speaker 2:

This is gonna reveal what I think your love language is and what you're saying your love language is so when I pick up this, when I pick up this paper, this is saying what my favorite love language is Essentially and I'm saying what I think it is- oh, okay.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, okay, all right.

Speaker 2:

It's easy for me.

Speaker 1:

Okay, you wrote down yours. This is easy. What did you write down?

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah, you definitely wrote down quality time. I don't know how, you don't know.

Speaker 1:

I knew that. So here's the thing. I had that one first and I should have went with my first mind yeah, yeah, yeah. And this is mine Acts of service.

Speaker 2:

That says a lot.

Speaker 1:

Well, there you have it, guys. It says a lot, it says a lot. It says everything y'all need to know about us.

Speaker 2:

It says a lot.

Speaker 1:

Everything y'all need to know about us. You just realize that if you take it.

Speaker 2:

I just don't understand you laughing, but I don't understand how you didn't know. I knew that.

Speaker 1:

That was my problem. You got it wrong. I know I got it wrong, charles. I know I got it wrong, so why you didn't like the game?

Speaker 2:

I didn't like the game because all of those love languages are part of me, true. Now, if you want to prioritize it, physical touch is my number one. We talked about this before. Acts of service is your number one. We've communicated this before and that's why I knew I was gonna get it right.

Speaker 1:

Okay, well, this wasn't about we're not going down for five, four, three, two, one, one, two, three, four, five. Okay, I did get it wrong though. Yeah, you did, I didn't get it wrong though I did get it wrong though, yeah, you did. But I knew better.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

I knew better, but I did get it wrong and on that note, like you, I'm sorry. Ha ha ha.

Speaker 2:

What we talking about.

Speaker 1:

Happy Valentine's Day.

Speaker 2:

Happy Valentine's Day.

Speaker 1:

Get us out of here.

Speaker 2:

Y'all see, I ain't like that gang.

Speaker 1:

He don't like stuff like that anyway.

Speaker 2:

No, I didn't like the gang, but anyway, I'm just gonna need some extra.

Speaker 1:

Oh boy.

Speaker 2:

Physical touch. No, I'm just joking. Don't take listen. Don't take Big Charles person, I'm gonna still take you out on a date.

Speaker 1:

Okay, even though I got it wrong, thank you.

Speaker 2:

We still gonna get fly, thank you.

Speaker 2:

We still gonna go out and have a good time whole hands. Thank you. And at the end of the day, man y'all tap into Big Dog Talk Podcast on all platforms. On IG, big Dog Talk Podcast Big Dog Talk underscore podcast. Youtube is Big Dog Talk podcast YouTube channel. Tiktok Big Dog Talk podcast. Facebook Big Dog Talk podcast. Oh, and I have something special If any of you guys are interested in being coached by Big Charles and not so I can teach you how to tap into that God energy in real life, that wisdom that's beyond thoughts. I guarantee you Hit us in the DM, hit us on our email website coming soon. But, baby, this is the year to elevate baby.

Speaker 1:

Yes, 2024. Love y'all Love y'all. Happy Valentine's.

Speaker 2:

Day Peace. Can't believe you got that wrong. Oh, stop it. Can't believe it.

Love Languages and Valentine's Day
Love Languages and Relationship Seasons
Love Languages and Relationship Phases
Valentine's Day Apologies and Plans