Ever felt like you were tiptoeing around the thin ice of manipulation in relationships? Buckle up as my co-host Big Shay and I tackle the tough conversations about recognizing and confronting manipulative behaviors, such as gaslighting, in our latest podcast episode. We lay everything on the table – betrayal, the hard truth of accepting people as they are, and not for their potential, and why it's crucial to keep therapy as an ongoing process in our lives. This isn't just your run-of-the-mill relationship advice, this is a raw, no-holds-barred discussion that will leave you questioning and, more importantly, understanding the subtleties of human interactions.
We then shift gears to a topic close to my heart: the delicate interplay between fostering independence and nurturing togetherness within family dynamics. It's a story of personal sacrifices and the celebration of mutual support, where dreams don't have to be paused but can instead flourish alongside family goals. Through candid reflections, Big Shay and I unravel the secrets to maintaining personal growth without losing the essence of unity in relationships. It's about finding that sweet spot where independence coexists with collective aspirations, and how this balance can transform both your personal development and family life.
Rounding up our deep dive, we light up the discussion with "Big Dog Talk" alongside Big Charles and Big Shader Coach, emphasizing the monumental power of shared visions in relationships. This conversation is a powerhouse of motivation, as we lay out the path to aligning communication, life direction, and the high-energy existence we all yearn for. By the end, you'll be inspired to embrace our upcoming coaching services, designed to help you and your partner tune into the same frequency and chase those dreams together. It's not just about elevating yourself; it's about lifting each other up, and we're here to show you how. Join us, and let's forge ahead into a year of intention and high achievements, together.
Ever felt like you were tiptoeing around the thin ice of manipulation in relationships? Buckle up as my co-host Big Shay and I tackle the tough conversations about recognizing and confronting manipulative behaviors, such as gaslighting, in our latest podcast episode. We lay everything on the table – betrayal, the hard truth of accepting people as they are, and not for their potential, and why it's crucial to keep therapy as an ongoing process in our lives. This isn't just your run-of-the-mill relationship advice, this is a raw, no-holds-barred discussion that will leave you questioning and, more importantly, understanding the subtleties of human interactions.
We then shift gears to a topic close to my heart: the delicate interplay between fostering independence and nurturing togetherness within family dynamics. It's a story of personal sacrifices and the celebration of mutual support, where dreams don't have to be paused but can instead flourish alongside family goals. Through candid reflections, Big Shay and I unravel the secrets to maintaining personal growth without losing the essence of unity in relationships. It's about finding that sweet spot where independence coexists with collective aspirations, and how this balance can transform both your personal development and family life.
Rounding up our deep dive, we light up the discussion with "Big Dog Talk" alongside Big Charles and Big Shader Coach, emphasizing the monumental power of shared visions in relationships. This conversation is a powerhouse of motivation, as we lay out the path to aligning communication, life direction, and the high-energy existence we all yearn for. By the end, you'll be inspired to embrace our upcoming coaching services, designed to help you and your partner tune into the same frequency and chase those dreams together. It's not just about elevating yourself; it's about lifting each other up, and we're here to show you how. Join us, and let's forge ahead into a year of intention and high achievements, together.
Pay attention to people's actions and less of their words. Anyway, that's my rant for today.
Speaker 2:And that was your TED Talk for this episode of the Big Dog Talk podcast featuring the one and only. I'm not done, I'm not done, rantin'.
Speaker 1:I'm not done, rantin'. I'm not done, rantin'. I'm not done, rantin'. When you show up in a relationship and you are not who you are beloved. When you show up in the relationship and you are not showing up the person that you say that you are, that is called manipulation. When you show up in a relationship and a person is not able to hold you accountable, beloved, for your actions and your wrongdoings, that is called gaslighting. You're showing up to a relationship where you're manipulating and you're gaslighting. You're showing up there for beneficial gains. Now, I'm done, rantin'.
Speaker 2:And that concludes this episode of TED Talk with the one and only Big Charles from the Big Dog Talk podcast had to say that real quick, just in case you got another thought.
Speaker 1:You know, the last time you cut me off, I'm done Okay gaslighting, manipulation, victim, all the things Right.
Speaker 2:That was a sum of it all.
Speaker 1:Stay away from me, and it's my fault that I allowed you in my space. Nope, we said we were done.
Speaker 2:As you all know, on the Big Dog Talk podcast, we have a slogan therapy is always in session, and that is why we are now sponsored by BetterHelp. During hard times, it can get really difficult if you don't have anyone to talk to. Being alone with your thoughts can be an isolating feeling that can allow negativity to consume you. Betterhelp has customized online therapy that offers video, phone and even live chat sessions with your therapist, so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. Some of the things that we have learned from our therapist on the Big Dog Talk podcast are how to be emotionally available, why it's important to practice self-care and calming activities to ease anxiety.
Speaker 2:There's a broad range of expertise in BetterHelp's 20 plus therapist network that gives you access to help that may not be available in your area. You just fill out a questionnaire to help assess your specific needs and then you get matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. Then you schedule a secure video or phone session. Plus, you can exchange unlimited messages and everything you share is completely confidential. You can request a new therapist at no additional charge anytime. Join the three million plus who have taken charge of their mental health with an experience. Betterhelp therapists. So many people use BetterHelp that they are currently recruiting additional therapists in all 50 states. Get 10% off of your first month of BetterHelp by using betterhelpcom. Slash bigdogtalk, that's better H-E-L-Pcom slash Big Dog Talk.
Speaker 1:Welcome back to another episode of the Big Dog Talk podcast. It's me, your favorite, the one and only Big Charles in the building baby.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the building, big Charles, it's your girl, big Shay, and I'm back, back, back again.
Speaker 1:Lips did look good.
Speaker 2:Well, I thank you. This lipstick was gifted to me by my beautiful, wonderful, fantastic daughter. It rings.
Speaker 1:It's her day, it rings. Look good Hair, look good Skin Ring on your finger looking good, you looking. Married I'm on my real natural girl era right now, and you got your therapy, as always, in session shirt on I do, I do. Right on, I do Right on.
Speaker 2:I see that Tokyo shirt too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, my daughter got me this when she went to Izu Japan.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:She went to Japan and she brought this back for a gift. So you know, I like the way it fit on me too, you know.
Speaker 2:Shout out to baby, always getting us a little cute stuff, celebrating her parents Listen.
Speaker 1:I wanna talk about something real, real fast, because I'm a little irritated.
Speaker 2:Oh boy.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm not irritated anymore, but in that moment I was irritated.
Speaker 2:Still a oh boy.
Speaker 1:So I was in my room the other day and I was just thinking about the relationships and the people that have crossed me, that have done me wrong, because I don't know. I don't like bringing it up, I don't like reminiscing about it too much, but I had a moment where I was thinking about all of the people that did me dirty I'm talking about. I've helped people start businesses, gave them like the blueprint. I didn't start it for them, but I gave them the blueprint. This is what you do. This is what you do. This is what you do. I've helped save marriages. I've helped just coaching and giving them guidance with their health.
Speaker 1:I've helped a lot of people and most of those people turned on me as soon as I challenged their behavior that they didn't wanna take accountability for and I really wasn't reminiscing about those acts that they'd done. But it was aggravating me because I don't understand how people can get upset when you respond to their behavior. For instance, someone does you wrong, big Shae, you bring it to their attention. This was done wrong and I didn't appreciate that. Then their response is, instead of saying hey, that wasn't my intentions, their response is let me get mad at you and not talk to you. I cannot stand people who lack accountability. I hate being around people that lacks accountability. I hate that. So I was having me a moment, like God. I made a post last year. I said I'm never dealing with people, allowing them in my space where based off of their potential, but instead, if I allow you in my space, I accept you for who you are in that moment. I accept you for your actions, not for the greatness that I see in you.
Speaker 2:I have to accept you for who you are right now, but yeah, I mean, come on, I even remember when we kicked off 2024 on the podcast, you were kind of, you know, you're not in that space right now I'm not in that space. No, you're not in that space, I'm just talking right now, but you have brought up the simple fact that you know you was sick of helping people.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying. 2024, we kicked it off on the podcast. You were saying you were sick of helping people. Because your track record has shown that people that you've poured into in the areas of all the things that you're passionate about finances, you know healthy relationships. You know healthy body, healthy mind you know what I mean healthy spirit, healthy soul, all these areas that you've poured into people with whenever it came time to have tough conversations, people get in their feelings and lack emotional intelligence to have those conversations but instead, like what you just said, they become unaccountable, getting the attitude don't want to, you know talk to. You know the person anymore, you in particular, as you're talking about and then there starts the deterioration of the relationship.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, no, no, no, no when I say deterioration of relationship because, like you just said and I have to agree with what you said I'm also not really interested in being in a relationship where people aren't open to having tough conversations, especially for the sake of saving a relationship that's supposed to mean something to you. So the deterioration means like now we're not even okay. You no longer will get my, you know opinion, my advice or my help in this certain area, because when it's time to have difficult conversations, which are going to come, you can't handle it. What stunts gross.
Speaker 1:Nowadays, your enemy comes up and shows up as the person that called you bro and sis, the person that called you best friend, the person that calls you family. I go off of actions, yep, and again, this is not talking about.
Speaker 2:Nothing in particular.
Speaker 1:No, we're just talking. I just want to bring awareness to people that just because someone called you bro and sis, that don't mean that they really love you like a bro or sis, or they can love you like a bro or sis, and that love that they had with their bro and sis was a dirty, toxic relationship as well, and they're loving you the exact same way that they love the persons and the people before you. That's all that I'm saying.
Speaker 2:And that shouldn't work for you. It may not. It won't work for me.
Speaker 1:Pay attention to people's actions and less of their words. Anyway, that's my rant for today.
Speaker 2:And that was your TED Talk for this episode of the Big Dog Talk podcast, featuring the one and only.
Speaker 1:I'm not done. I'm not done ranting. I'm not done ranting. I'm not done ranting. When you show up in a relationship and you are not who you are beloved. When you show up in the relationship and you are not showing up the person that you say that you are, that is called manipulation. When you show up in a relationship and a person is not able to hold you accountable, beloved, for your actions and your wrongdoings, that is called gaslighting. You are showing up to a relationship where you're manipulating and you're gaslighting. You're showing up there for beneficial gains. Now, I'm done ranting.
Speaker 2:And that concludes this episode of. Ted Talk with the one and only Big Charles from the Big Dog Talk podcast. I had to say that real quick just in case you got another thought the last time you come y'all.
Speaker 1:I'm done Okay.
Speaker 2:Gaslighting manipulation victim. All the things Right.
Speaker 1:That was the sum of it all Stay away from me and it's my fault that I allowed you in my space.
Speaker 2:Nope, we said we were done.
Speaker 1:All right. We said we were done, I'm done what we talking about today, because I didn't got worked up in no way.
Speaker 2:We talking about people that are not accountable.
Speaker 2:All right, but we really want to get into something a little different. So we're on this whole series of relationships on the podcast right now. I would say we like doing a little series Weekly. Our topics have been centered around relationships. So I was thinking about a question how can you balance independence and togetherness in a relationship? So like, for example, kicking off 2024, you and I have some big goals individually, so you are focused on some big things in your bubble that are your interest things you want to focus on, and I'm focused on some pretty big things in my bubble to elevate this year. And so, with that being said, because we are focused on two big things independently, separately, individually, could that impact togetherness, our close list in our relationship, or is it a way to find balance in that?
Speaker 1:I mean it's a two fold question that you just asked. It can impact it if we don't sit down and discuss these things and communicate it. It can affect our relationship if we don't not only communicate it but really take some time to understand the other persons and the priority and the season that we're both in.
Speaker 2:Right. Right, I mean because for us, we're two very goal oriented people and I'm sure there's other relationships out there too that are comprised of two people that are very goal oriented and so that means that when we get into the phase of achieving certain goals and knocking off things on our vision board and to do list for the year, we get pretty laser focused. We do, and so what I noticed that we do that to help make that successful so that we don't lose that togetherness is we absolutely on our calendar, schedule time to date, time to check in with each other, schedule time to just create that togetherness so that we don't lose that piece of our relationship.
Speaker 1:Well, this is when you got to know your partner, because the only reason you and I have a calendar is because you are that detailed person.
Speaker 2:Right, that's true.
Speaker 1:You know you schedule okay, let's do this at this time. Me, on the other hand, I sit in stillness and I come up with a resolution and a strategy that works for the family, and then you come and put the pieces together. Well, this is how we should do it to make this work.
Speaker 2:That's how you and I Right, we should shift forward. This is how we have to dissect and what we need to go after.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:So why you just standing?
Speaker 2:there I'm saying you said that. To say what, though?
Speaker 1:I'm saying that to say that it's a two-fold. It's a two-fold. You do the calendar and I go deep within and say you have an individual goal, I have an individual goal, we have a goal as a family. It's going to take some deep level of stillness to come up with an answer and a resolve that's going to benefit both of us and not just one of us. So then I'll go sit in my stillness and listen for answers and I'll come back to you and this is what I got. And then you'll go with a oh, this is a great resolve, but this is how we're going to get this done for the benefit of both of us.
Speaker 2:Would you say that you think this is the first time that we both have had a pretty hefty goal separately that we're going after simultaneously together?
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:No, no Okay.
Speaker 1:Because I remember when you were starting your childcare and I was also trying to start a t-shirt business. So in that time I had to go spend time with God. Because I had to go and spend time with God because I could have got caught up when, well, she can focus on her and I can focus on me. But I had to go get a strategy that was best for us and our family and at the time we were pushing out too much money financially to focus on your childcare and to focus on the business that I was attempting to push as well. So when I went and done, I had to spend time with God and God promised me I tell you what you make this season about her I had to make a conscious decision to put my goals on standby and to make your goals my goals.
Speaker 2:So yes, so okay, yes, that example, I forgot about it, but that's what I'm saying. So that was great, because it leads me to this. I feel like at that moment in time, there was a decision that had to be made, and so you said you spent time with God and God said let's focus on this over here. What I'm saying is I feel like the season that we're in right now, we don't have to make that kind of decision. You're doing what you're doing and I'm doing what I'm doing, and that absolutely feels like what's supposed to be happening.
Speaker 1:Because the foundation was laid.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:The foundation has to be laid.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 1:So now we're able to go into two separate directions, to come back together for the big goal in the end, and that phase of life, we had to do what was best for our family. And what was best for our family was for me to support you and your business.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 1:Now we created a space of freedom where, okay, big Charles can focus on big Charles, big Shae can focus on big Shae, and we need to sit down and discuss what's best for me, what's best for you and what's best for us as a family and as a husband and wife, because if not, we'll get lost in the sauce.
Speaker 2:Right, right. But I mean, excuse me, I feel really good hearing you kind of explain it like that and then bringing it back full circle that we are absolutely at a point in time where we can both chase, ultimately, the next level of our dreams, like that feels good to me that we're able to do that and I don't have to put on pause what I'd like to do in order to get to the next level for you and you don't have to put anything on pause either to be able to chase what you want to do, because that individuality and things that are important to us at this phase in our relationship is extremely important for that next level of elevation.
Speaker 1:Well, here's the thing, though we got to be careful with the word chasing, because in the beginning we were chasing and we weren't aligned. We're flowing now, so we're not chasing our dreams, we're flowing in our gifts, we're flowing in spirit, we're flowing in a place of peace, so we're not chasing anymore. In the beginning of our phases, back then, we were chasing, not knowing.
Speaker 2:We have clear direction right now.
Speaker 1:Not knowing, sorry to cut you off. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm so sorry to cut you off. Go ahead. No, I'm so. I mean, I was basically coast hunting what you were saying. We're definitely in alignment and flowing in the direction that we have direction now.
Speaker 1:So that's what I was saying. There's a difference between chasing and flowing. When you have inner peace and you're connected to stillness and you understand what peace is, peace really just means flowing, even when friction comes, except in the friction as what it is. So at this moment in time we're in a good phase of life where we're able to flow in the direction that God wants us to be in. But that's because of this can go. It just depends on which way we want to go, because we're flowing in the right direction, because all of the work that we put in individually and together as a unit, yeah, that's the direction I want to go in.
Speaker 2:And it's like when we talk about conversations like this, we never just want to just talk about it, we also want to give doggy treats. And I want to talk through, like how can one create that balance in their relationship, so that there is a healthy balance of independence, with each individual person in relation being able to focus on what they want to focus on and knowing if that's and knowing if that's the direction and the right thing for them to do, but also still having that spirit of togetherness?
Speaker 1:Are you asking me a question? Yeah, like.
Speaker 2:I want to hear your perspective, like how can two people in a relationship create that balance?
Speaker 1:Of independent togetherness.
Speaker 2:Yeah, of independence, balancing independence and togetherness, like how we've been able to finally get to a place where we I feel like we have a good balance of independence and togetherness. And you already started, you know you already kind of started to speaking of how we got there and that there was a point in time where we had to pick and choose, you know which area we wanted to put all of our emphasis in, which meant that one of us had to kind of relinquish that individual thing that they wanted to pursue for the betterment of, you know, the family of the other one. But I also just want to leave with the people like how, how, how did we create that? Like what are some things that we can tell them on how to create that balance, so in a relationship, that's a loaded question.
Speaker 2:Super loaded.
Speaker 1:There's no way possible that I can give you a true, direct answer. I agree, because it's loaded. Yep, it depends on what phase of life you're in, it depends on what season your relationship is in. What can I say? I always bring it back to self-development, because self-development is the basic, fundamental foundation of even being able to communicate and know in which direction that you want to go. In Right, like, a person has to have vision. I can't tell you anything about me if I don't know where I'm going, know where I'm headed. Somebody has to know which direction we want to go as individuals and as a family.
Speaker 2:Yep, you have to know.
Speaker 1:You have to have vision. You have to Because vision is what you're gravitated toward. Yep, if you don't have a vision, if you don't have goals, you're basically a damn dog chasing his tail.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Back to that word chase Got you Going in circles.
Speaker 1:Going in circles? Yep, Get a clear vision.
Speaker 2:Yep, yep, I will start off there Absolutely get a clear vision Like hands down, because we've talked about this before. But one thing in our relationship that actually there was a clip that you used this week is that we both had a vision and an idea of where we want it. We've always had individual goals. When we first met, we both had individual goals of where we wanted to go. So we came into the relationship with a vision and by coming together as a unit it's absolutely helped to foster getting closer to the ultimate goals that we have. But, like you said, if a person does not have any idea or vision or direction for their life, then it's going to be hard to operate in that space in a relationship.
Speaker 1:It's hard to operate in that space, in not just a personal relationship, but in a friendship period. Ok, why would I want to Listen? I wouldn't even marriage you if you didn't have a sense of direction, if you didn't have a sense of goals because I'm a goal oriented person you wouldn't have wanted to be with me. If I was, it wouldn't have worked out. Why would I? Why would you want to be a person that doesn't know where they're going?
Speaker 2:That's frustrating.
Speaker 1:Why One?
Speaker 2:person in a relationship that's super goal oriented.
Speaker 1:And then you got the other person sitting on the couch playing video games no no yeah. Or just want to do makeup and be a social media influence or something like that, or complacent, or whatever. If there's no way, that's going to work.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, you'd like Like-minded people man.
Speaker 1:The reason why it's important to be in a like-minded relationship, whether it's with your partner or friendships, because life doesn't give you what you want. Life give you what you are Right, and you either operate in a low frequency or high frequency. When you operate in a low frequency, which most of us do, you attract low frequency. Mama, I'm sorry if you're watching this Low frequency bullshit. I'm sorry, ma, but that's what I had. That's how I wanted to explain it. If you're operating in a low frequency, you're going to attract low frequency, absolutely. A person that doesn't have a vision has low frequency. That's just the fact. That's just the fact. Yeah, a person that has a vision has high frequency. There's no way that we're going to coexist for the long haul if we're on two different levels and we're not working to work together. Yeah, I'm not coming down.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:For nobody Right, for no friend. I'm not coming down, right. I don't want you to come down, right, I want you to say hey, do you want to come with me? Right, give me the option, right. But back to what I was saying you get what you are and not what you want, right, you attract that. You attract that.
Speaker 2:Yes, you know like I said that energy it's the energy. Energy is everything.
Speaker 1:You are a low energy person, you're going to attract a low energy life. You are a high energy person, you're going to attract a high energy life. Our jobs as individuals and as a partnership is to find a medium Are you following me? Yeah, in a way, to cultivate an internal lifestyle that we see for ourselves, individually and together. Yep.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:I have to get with a person that I can find a medium with that we can create our lifestyle. First, internally Right, am I going too far?
Speaker 2:No, is it too far fetched? No, it's not. It's definitely on target.
Speaker 1:Well, explain to me what I just said, because in my mind I feel like I'm saying too much of a vision is going to go over people's head.
Speaker 2:It's not. You're basically saying that in order to, first of all, you have to have a vision Right and, secondly, in order to get what you want individually plus to be in a relationship with somebody, you guys have to be operating on that same level of frequency. So, if you want to take out the word frequency, two goal-oriented people together will bring about the results not only collectively, but individually, with the vision and the goals that they have for their lives separately. If you are a person that's goal-oriented but you find yourself with someone that is very complacent in life, then the one that's goal-oriented is going to struggle a lot, because you cannot make people want to come up and meet you where you are.
Speaker 1:It's going to frustrate you, that's what you said.
Speaker 2:You're not coming down to meet anybody where they are. Either you're going to come up or you're going to get left. You're going to get left.
Speaker 1:It's going to frustrate you.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:That's why the ancient teachings and Christ teachings are. Even in Buddhist teaching they call it equally yoke. Yes, yes, compatible for one another, like-minded people, like-minded, yes, whatever you want to call that energy. Yes, I have a vision for myself. I have a why do I want to be around somebody that don't see life how I see life? I've already created a life in my mind. I know where I'm headed.
Speaker 2:I mean, I think that what you're saying is like a little while ago you were going to touch upon the friendship part of it. Remember, you were going to touch upon not just relationship, but this also happens in friendships. I think that that's also what goes back to how you opened up.
Speaker 1:That's what a friction is, though.
Speaker 2:That's how it starts, right, charles, ted talk, that's how friction starts, because you can absolutely outgrow people in a friendship. It's not to say that somebody's better than the other person, but what it does say, if I'm a goal-oriented friend and I constantly want to be around people, that's talking about for me, entrepreneurship. For me, what's the next level of your business? For me, what do you focus on this quarter? For me, what do you focus on the next 60 days, 30 days? Those are the things I like to talk about with like-minded, business-oriented people that have successful businesses.
Speaker 2:I'm constantly trying to grow To be around someone that doesn't have that level of conversation. Not only that, but they don't have the desire to it limits the things that now we have in common, the things that we can talk about. Because, even like with you and I, you are constantly talking about from sunup to sundown. You're constantly talking about your elevation plan for 2024, the things you're already working on, the things you're already executing, the things that are to come, your plan for 2024, you're constantly talking about that. If I was a spouse, that I don't have any goals. Like I don't have no real goals right now, like I'm cool, I'm chilling, I like where I'm at. That's good for you. You would ultimately start to get frustrated with me.
Speaker 2:I need you to pick it up.
Speaker 1:That's how it goes. Pick it up. That's how it goes. That's just how it goes.
Speaker 2:Pick it up.
Speaker 1:I know how much work I put on me, I know how much time that I have. See, I'm in a space now where, first of all, people like me don't hang around. A lot of people, x. It's just if I hang around you, I really love you, I'm inspired by you.
Speaker 2:And I got to create time for that because I don't have a lot of time. You know what I mean. You don't have a lot of time.
Speaker 1:Because when you're all, oriented.
Speaker 2:you do not have a lot of time, so if I create time to be with you, to take away from what I'm really focused on and what I could really be doing Right.
Speaker 1:Time is the one thing you don't get back.
Speaker 2:Man, listen, if I put you on my calendar, I'll love you.
Speaker 1:I didn't know this was the direction that we were going to go in.
Speaker 1:But your text talks at the tone, but like for you and I, for you and I, what we do in this phase of our lives, we are very intentional. Yep, we don't just sit down to communicate. We sit down to communicate and understand. We come up with a strategy and a game plan based off of the vision for our family. Yes, each family may be different. Each relationships may be differently. This is why you have to know how to tap into that God energy and do what's best for you and your family. You cannot live in the space of selfishness. You have to live in a space of flow and energy. This is why God energy is important.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:This is why, because, oh my God, yes.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:This is a hack. When you know how to flow and not chase, I'm telling you it's a hack.
Speaker 2:It's a hack.
Speaker 1:I'm telling you it's definitely a hack when you know how to flow and not chase. But in order to get to that level, to even to get to that space, you have to go through a lot of digging up some dirt, facing some hard truths about self, looking myself in the mirror and say you know what? I'm not showing up? Matter of fact, you had to put. You said something at our last event, while I just been honest with myself Yep, yep, I'm not showing up. How I say I'm showing up, I have to have. I know I'm not.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Full accountability Yep.
Speaker 2:But, anyway, and when I okay. So like what you just said, and the number one thing that you've been talking about so far is like communication.
Speaker 1:Vision, communication, understanding, communication is super important.
Speaker 2:That is a necessary element to creating balance, right, between that independent, goal oriented and that togetherness. And then within that communication, like just as a couple, like creating like check-ins, like you know what you got on your plate this week, you know what you're going to be focusing on. How can I help you, how can I support you? This is what I have going on, cause it may be a very busy week for your partner, right? Your partner may be like locked and loaded and by you gaining that understanding through that communication and that checking, then you can give a lot of grace and maybe lower your expectation for that week, right? So that means that this week may not be a week that we just really operate, not togetherness.
Speaker 2:I'm respecting the fact that my partner has to focus on this. We've gained understanding. We've talked about it. I got to give you some space to get done what you need to get done. I want you to get that done, cause then it might be my turn the next month where, babe, honestly, this week's about to be crazy for me. Like, I got to focus. So now you can understand that and be okay with giving me my space, because we've done that checking and we've communicated.
Speaker 1:I got to give you your kudos on that, because you've really helped me with the check-ins and like putting it on a calendar. Yes, you know, I believe that's something that you've developed like over time. Yes, yes, now that I'm going into full throttle with entrepreneurship and self development, it all ties together, yep.
Speaker 2:I mean also, I never the space that I am in our relationship as it relates to, like I said, independence and togetherness. We're going after it, right, we are going after it and we're definitely aligned. And that requires more effort, more work, less free time, and we also take pride in our togetherness, our intimacy that we've created and on this part of our journey in this chapter, I don't want to lose that, because let's just say we're going to accomplish everything we set out, but we lose that. Now I'm not having fun.
Speaker 1:There's no way that we can accomplish everything that I hear you.
Speaker 2:Now thank you.
Speaker 1:I hear you.
Speaker 2:Thank you, thank you, now I'm not having fun.
Speaker 1:That means we took our vision off of the main goal the big picture, that part, the big picture.
Speaker 2:That part.
Speaker 1:And the big picture for us as family and legacy.
Speaker 2:That part and togetherness.
Speaker 1:And that's what family is.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying.
Speaker 1:And healing legacies before us and after us. We done fell into the track. Our main goals been example.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:Showing people that it's possible.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:That we can have family and individual goals. Yes, all in one, showing people that it's possible to create your own world.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, now we yes.
Speaker 1:It's possible. Yes.
Speaker 2:I want people to know that.
Speaker 1:It's possible.
Speaker 2:Like. I'm actually very passionate about this. I am very passionate about people understanding that you can have the best of both worlds. It's possible. You just got to elevate the way that you think. You got to elevate the way that you plan. You got to elevate the way that you communicate. You got to elevate the way that you execute. You got to elevate your level of self-awareness you have to elevate in order to accomplish this perfect balance in achieving the things that you want to achieve, and it's absolutely necessary. You don't have to give up one and get the other. You don't have to. You don't have to be successful in life and have a excuse me have a shitty ass relationship with your family. You don't have to do that. You don't have to be in great relationship with your family and give up the things that you aspire and desire to be in life. You don't have to do that. You get to show your family, your kids and create the legacy that both can exist at the same damn time.
Speaker 1:It's possible.
Speaker 2:I love that for us. We can all do that.
Speaker 1:It's possible, for sure.
Speaker 2:It's possible. Trust me, it's possible.
Speaker 1:It's possible.
Speaker 2:I'm super passionate about this.
Speaker 1:I don't really even want to go after you.
Speaker 2:I'm super passionate about this, like I just feel super like, come on y'all, we got this.
Speaker 1:And I hope you guys see us like we just want to see you win. Yeah, we just want to see you win. We're not trying to present perfection, we want to see you win, and we're. It is hard, everything is hard. It's hard being broke, too, huh. It's hard being single, too Huh. It's hard being together, too Yep, it's hard having a family. It's hard not having a family.
Speaker 2:It's hard being a wife. It's hard being a husband it's hard being single yeah, it's hard.
Speaker 1:It's hard being alone when you're sick and you need somebody to come and take care of you. It's hard. You know what I mean. When you're with someone and you it's hard. Choose your heart.
Speaker 2:It's hard having a business. It's hard starting a business. It's hard wanting to start a business. It's hard.
Speaker 1:What heart do you want? What heart do you want? Man Pick and choose. I like y'all, I love y'all. That's the fun part about life.
Speaker 2:Yep, yep.
Speaker 1:But in the meantime, why you decide? If you don't have a vision, stay away from me.
Speaker 2:Ha, ha, ha Be nice.
Speaker 1:Stay away, listen, okay, listen.
Speaker 2:They know.
Speaker 1:All right. They already know, they know they already said that.
Speaker 2:They already know. You said talk and in between time you said it.
Speaker 1:And I know none of my listeners, none of the listeners, it's not them. And when I say stay away from me, I'm really talking to them, telling y'all to keep those people away from you that don't have a vision. Yeah, yeah, that doesn't mean that you don't love them. Yeah, it means that I'm on a mission. I'm not letting life control me. I'm taking control of my life. That's freedom. When you take control of your life, when that's maturity, that's what adults do. I'm not blaming it on my mom or dad. I'm not blaming it on anyone. I take full accountability of my life. I'm not going to live in this hope phase. I'm going to live in a reality phase and I'm going to.
Speaker 1:It's a call to action to everybody that's listening. It's a call to action the life that you desire, I need you to. If you're by yourself, I need you to find a medium to go inside of you and cultivate an internal life that you see for yourself and you work towards it. If you have a partner, you guys sit at the table, come up and cultivate a life that you see for yourselves, because we have to keep that energy that we, we are, we attract who we are. Yeah, bring your awareness up. Listen. Take us out of here, big Sean no.
Speaker 2:I will. I know that they can hear and see and feel the passion behind this. This is just an episode today, so can you just let them know that if they would like additional punchy. Oh, I forgot about that On this episode on this topic and other topics. You know what can they do, big Charles, please let them know. So, what's your 2024? Look different this year.
Speaker 1:Our big shade, the big big shade and I our website will be up in the next two or three weeks. Yeah, I'm gonna, just I'm gonna, we're, we're. We took it upon ourselves to coach. Yeah, we really want to see people win. That's just the truth. Yeah, we will do individual coaching, couples coaching, entrepreneurship. We're coaching. And what coaches are good coaches, good teachers? They are hacks. Yeah, to get you to the destination that you want to get to at a faster pace. They've done the homework, they've put in the hours, they've put in the time. They have the knowledge. Not only do they have the knowledge, they have the experience. Not only do they have the experience, they have the wisdom to guide you step by step. And that's what we're doing. Yep, hit us in the DMF. You were like for Big Charles and Big Shader Coach, we had the whether it's on your relationship and whether it's individually, and we got you this year. Yeah, we going to another level. Yeah, we on that. God energy.
Speaker 2:I feel that Yep Website coming real, real soon.
Speaker 1:Y'all going to love it. Until then, send us an email bigdogtalk4atgmailcom. Hit us on Big Dog Talk on the score podcast. It is in the DM and we locking and loading Serious people. Only we coming for it. We winning Everybody in this community. That's intentional. We're going to win Winning season. We're winning. We love y'all. Like, subscribe, tell a friend to tell a friend, write comments, write reviews. We need you guys support. Yes, we winning this year.
Speaker 2:Love y'all.
Speaker 1:Peace, god energy.