Real Talk: Midlife By Design

Ep. 30 | Community, a Must In ALL Phases of Life with Nancy Carter

February 27, 2022 Ericka, Curator of Zest / Nancy Carter, Five Figure Paycheck Season 1 Episode 30
Real Talk: Midlife By Design
Ep. 30 | Community, a Must In ALL Phases of Life with Nancy Carter
Show Notes Transcript

I'm honored to share today's guest with you as she is the reason why I found the courage to begin my podcast. So, it only feels fitting to share her story with you on this milestone episode 30.

Nancy is a sales coach and mentor for female sales professionals of all ages. She is the host of the Sales Made Simple Podcast and the founder of the Five Figure Paycheck Sales Membership Program. 

Nancy started coaching because she saw so many capable sales women that just need a little extra guidance and confidence boost, so they could turn their sales into successful careers while changing their lives and their families. 

She went from a six figure a year income to a stay-at-home mom, to a single mom who solely raised and supported her two young daughters.

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Nancy provides her clients with a professional private sales coach touch without the private coach price tag. 

She believes it's important for every woman to be able to support herself and her family, or at the very least who understand her family's finances. 

Nancy's truth is this, if you want it badly enough, you can find a way to make it happen AND community can help give you courage along the way!

Stay connected with Nancy  and find out more about her work with the quick, access links below:

Website


Instagram

We're inspired to become the #1 Resource for Midlife Women. Go get access to articles, expert insights and more at  The Zestful Movement

Ericka (00:07):

Midlife. What does it mean to you? I believe that midlife is a place you recognize, reprioritize and redefine your purpose. It's a place of new beginnings, new personal growth and new adventures. Midlife is a chance to release your outdated labels and begin designing your second life journey. How? With heart centered experts, tangible tools and a supportive community. Why? Because if not now, then when? Now that's real talk. I am Erika, your host and curator of Zest. Let's begin building your midlife by design together. If you're enjoying this content, leave a review on Apple Podcast and share this podcast with someone you care about too, as it truly helps to keep the zesty energy flowing. Visit thezestfulmovement.com, where you'll find more resources cultivated for your midlife journey.

Ericka (01:10):

Nancy is a sales coach and mentor for female sales professionals of all ages. She is the host of the Sales Made Simple Podcast and the founder of the Five Figure Paycheck Sales Membership Program. Nancy started coaching because she saw so many capable sales women that just need a little extra guidance and confidence boost, so they could turn their sales into successful careers while changing their lives and their families. She went from a six figure a year income to a stay-at-home mom, to a single mom who solely raised and supported her two young daughters.

Ericka (01:43):

Now Nancy is an empty nester and she's taking her coaching online so she can help even more women while still keeping her day job in sales. Her goal is to help women go from feeling lost, uninspired or defeated to having a life of freedom and flexibility, while empowering them to become confident, successful saleswoman. Nancy provides her clients with a professional private sales coach touch without the private coach price tag. She believes it's important for every woman to be able to support herself and her family, or at the very least who understand her family's finances. Nancy's truth is this. If you'll want it badly enough, you can find a way to make it happen.

Ericka (02:31):

Today I'm excited to have my guest on Nancy Carter. And one of the reasons why I brought Nancy on is because I find her to be very aspirational. She's a woman who's out there, even though she has her daytime job, she still has the courage to serve and do a little bit more with her personal interests of sales. And so I'm really inspired by Nancy, how she's just taking on new adventures through technology, through business building, and then really using everything she's learning to go back and serve women in her community. So I'm happy to welcome Nancy here today. Thank you for being a guest on midlife by design.

Nancy (03:08):

Well, thank you so much, Erika. I am so happy to be on your podcast. I'm very excited for this opportunity. Thank you.

Ericka (03:15):

My pleasure. And so as Nancy and I were speaking about what the topic would be for this particular episode, we both came to the conclusion that speaking to women and work would be a really important topic. And I think Nancy has a really unique perspective and story on this. And I want her to delve in a little bit more about how work came into her life, out of her life and then back her life. So if you don't mind, Nancy, can you share what your story is?

Nancy (03:44):

Yes. I think I know where you're going with this. So yes, I was a six figure income earner in sales for many years. And then I decided to stay home and be a stay home mom with my children, which was such a blessing to be able to do that. And then I had found myself in a situation where I needed to get a job again. And I had to go back out and recreate myself and not sure if I would ever be able to make six figures again. But I went out and I recreated myself with my children's help. They were very in... what's the word? Inspirational because I wanted more for them. I never wanted them to feel a sense of lack. So I tried to show them that if they worked hard, that they could get what they want and still have nice things in life. And I think I've instilled that in my daughters. So there was a silver lining to this cloud.

Ericka (04:41):

I think that's pretty fantastic. So for me, I feel that's a very intriguing story. And for me it's a very... I don't know the word. But I'm essentially a stay-at-home mom. And so I find this really interesting because even as a stay-at-home mom of almost 20 years, there are times where I felt like, okay, my husband has really provided the financial stability for our family, where I have taken care of the house, the home in a very traditional role. And even though at this phase, I have no concerns about my marriage not sustaining itself for many years to come, I still have that in the back of my head, "But what if something happened to him? What if something happened to our marriage? I've spent 48 years of my life essentially being taken care of by my family and then now by my husband."

Ericka (05:28):

And so hearing your story just lets me know that okay, it's possible. But even with that, I wonder, so when this moment first came to you, your breath was probably taken away. How did you begin to breathe again? And what did it feel like when you started making those steps towards realizing, "Okay, so now I'm in the driver's seat and I have my daughters, what am I going to do?" Where did you find that confidence from to go forward?

Nancy (05:54):

I found a lot of confidence from friends and family and people who believed in me more than I believed in myself. So they knew the position I was in and so many people said to me, "Nancy, if anybody can make this happen, you can." And I did not believe that. And then I honestly believe in divine intervention and it didn't happen overnight. But the right opportunities were placed in front of me, I just had to learn to say yes to them and go with the flow even if it didn't seem like the right opportunity at the moment. I prayed about it and went with it and I was led in the right direction.

Nancy (06:36):

And there were a lot of times I just prayed. "Lord, if you're going to close a door, open a window really wide. So I know exactly which direction I'm supposed to go in," because I didn't know. It was such a shock. And it really, like you said, just take the breath out of me. And I had no idea, all I know is I had two young girls that I to raise on my own and I wasn't even sure what my financial situation was at that point. So it was very frightening.

Ericka (07:04):

So I love how you said, when one door closed, you needed to open a window really fast. So in that [crosstalk 00:07:11] like, "Open that window."

Nancy (07:13):

... really big so I could tell. Really big.

Ericka (07:15):

So when you were looking from a shut door to an open window, did you also find that your perspective on success also had to change in order to, let's say stay motivated or optimistic about what was before you?

Nancy (07:29):

I have to be honest, I really didn't even think about that. I guess that when... This is hard to explain, but there's levels of survival in life.

Ericka (07:40):

Okay.

Nancy (07:41):

I was put into survival mode, which was totally new for me. I'd never been there before. And all I could think about was surviving and making sure there was enough food on the table for my family and also to try and give them the life they were accustomed. Two vacations a year and large family gatherings at holidays. And that all ended for various reasons. So I wanted to make sure that they were happy, and in a place where they weren't looking back and saying, "I wish we had that." That they were moving forward and growing as women. And I'm so proud of them. They both have strong, probably too strong work ethics. But I hope I... and I involved them in my decisions.

Nancy (08:28):

So it got to the point where I was in a really great job that I could make things happen and I was growing and things were going really well. And they had to sacrifice a lot of their time with me to have the things that they wanted. So I instituted this, if I hit this particular bonus, then we'll go out for a dinner of any restaurant you get to pick, which was usually not anything too big and expensive because they were so young. So they were just happy, and trying to keep them happy and keep them busy. And this is kind of off the topic, but they turned into little vampire type creatures because I would work during the day and then come home and we would drive an hour and go to... luckily I live in Orlando, so we'd a water park so they can have their-

Ericka (09:15):

Oh, nice.

Nancy (09:17):

... outside activities for four hours. I was exhausted, but I don't think they ever really felt they were missing anything.

Ericka (09:23):

Oh, I love that.

Nancy (09:24):

And that was my goal.

Ericka (09:26):

I absolutely love that. And I find it interesting whether you are a working mom, whether you're a stay-at-home mom, whether you're finding you have to work again mom, I really think it's interesting how our children have that ability to motivate us. And they really help us find energy that we didn't know we had. And so in that way-

Nancy (09:43):

Exactly.

Ericka (09:43):

... I think our kids are wonderful because it's not only about us doing for ourselves, it's making sure that they have what they need so that we film... they have everything they need to make sure they can excel in life once they become adults. So I love how your children, your girls were part of your motivation of doing well. So in that curiosity of survival mode... so survival mode, anything can happen in that mode. But when did you feel you had a sense of no longer really being in survival, but you were actually thriving, like you were thriving, you were where you needed to be and there was a sense of balance? How long... and I know life is uncertain, because there's always something. But how long do you think you went from not being able to breathe, to going into survival mode, to being like, "You know what, I'm thriving and I've got this." How long did that take?

Nancy (10:27):

Oh, it took probably about six years.

Ericka (10:30):

Oh wow. Oh my gosh.

Nancy (10:33):

Yes.

Ericka (10:33):

Okay. I love [crosstalk 00:10:37]. I Love [crosstalk 00:10:37].

Nancy (10:38):

It wasn't overnight. Yes. Nothing ever comes easy to me. But I don't think that... In the beginning I think they understood that something was terribly wrong and then they didn't. And they were such good kids. I'm really lucky that I have such good kids. I didn't have to worry about them getting in trouble. Plus even though I was living in a new area that was totally foreign to me, I had been able to create a group of supporters and we supported each other. And so it was nice. If I needed someone to watch them for a while, I knew I had someone, and they had the same thing in returns. It was like a co-op of parenting if you will.

Nancy (11:21):

Having a support system of local people is unbelievable. And you have to have that as any parent, as a working parent, a non-working parent, a stay home mom, I've always had that. And to come to Florida and be able to recreate that in a really quick period of time, probably within a year period.

Ericka (11:40):

Oh wow. Okay.

Nancy (11:42):

Amazing. Yeah. That I had almost right away and I worked for that.

Ericka (11:45):

Yes. Well, and that's what my brain is still a little bit stuck on six years. But I love the answer six years though, because it shows you that it takes time to adjust to circumstance. And I think the more extraordinary the circumstance, the more time it takes to adjust to it. And so, kudos to you Nancy, and thank you for the honesty on that. Because I really think that when we're evolving and growing through certain situations, the reality it is, it just takes stick-to-it-ness and it takes the time that it takes. So I really appreciate your answer there.

Nancy (12:18):

Thank you. I have never shared this story with anybody online, so yeah. I don't talk about it very much, but I think it is important for women to know that they will be okay.

Ericka (12:32):

Yes.

Nancy (12:33):

And just keep going. And having children again, like you said, they were my why. Every decision I made was based around them. So part of it is, if I didn't have children, I might have been more successful faster. But the other part of that, because you make decisions based on your children, is this right for them?

Ericka (12:52):

Exactly.

Nancy (12:52):

And I pass up some opportunities because it was not right for them. And then you get to the point where, "But they were the reason I got out of bed in the morning."

Ericka (13:02):

Exactly. [crosstalk 00:13:03].

Nancy (13:04):

... wanted to crawl into a hole. I couldn't, I had to get up and take care of them.

Ericka (13:09):

Well, yeah. I actually have chills right now, Nancy, with you sharing that. And so I really like this. I think this is really a fun opportunity, a unique opportunity to let a stay-at-home mom speak to a working mom and especially a single working mom, because it lets us know that common denominator is our children. And that we're capable of doing extraordinary things, even if we're in stressful situations when we have our focus in the right place and we're really clear on the why. But I also love how you sprinkled in some fun in there too. So you're creative-

Nancy (13:43):

They have to have fun.

Ericka (13:43):

... with that as well.

Nancy (13:43):

They're just kids. You have to create fun and gamify things and let them feel that they're a part of it to. They were part of the process. They were involved in a lot of the decisions and it has to be that way. No matter how young they are, you have to take their feelings and their thoughts. Now I was the mom, ultimately I made the final decision. But I always did try and think and just include them in my decisions. And I've been in both ends of the spectrum, I've been the stay home mom, and I've done this too. So I've had both lives. And my advice was no matter which life you are living right now, just understand your finances and how they are. Understand how your bills are paid, understand where your money is coming from, because you never know when the emotional support may end and you have to know all that information really quickly.

Ericka (14:48):

Absolutely. And I think it's really easy to just get comfortable in a pattern. We get comfortable and we just assume that things will be this way more often than not, if not forever. And then forever comes to an end. So it's better to be aware so that you know what to do in a given situation, especially if it's a tragic situation. So I think that's brilliant advice. And with that, I wanted to ask. So what qualities do you think your daughters have taken away from you being that make-it-happen single mom? Now that they're young adults, what qualities do you think were cultivated from that experience?

Nancy (15:26):

Again, I think that they have really good work ethics. They don't call out, they don't call in sick. They're not big partiers. They have both gone on to have... The older one has her own career. The younger one is still finding her way a bit, but she's out there every day trying to figure out exactly what she wants. And she supports herself at 23 pretty much.

Ericka (15:48):

Oh, all right.

Nancy (15:49):

Pretty much. Not all the way yet.

Ericka (15:50):

Nancy, good job. Good job Nancy.

Nancy (15:52):

Not all the way. We're getting there.

Ericka (15:54):

We're getting there.

Nancy (15:56):

It feels good. It was a matter of teaching them from the beginning, how to establish credit, how to manage their money, how to purchase a car, all those different things. So that at 23, they have a credit rating that they can go out and do things with. So I think that I learned that that also was important and it was important to teach them that. And hopefully, I think it works. We have a really good relationship. We talk, they don't live with me anymore, but we talk a lot.

Ericka (16:28):

I think that's awesome.

Nancy (16:30):

At least five times a week, so.

Ericka (16:31):

Oh my God, that's fabulous.

Nancy (16:31):

At least.

Ericka (16:31):

So you're giving us almost empty nesters hope that we'll still talk to our kids when they're no longer in our home. So that's some good [crosstalk 00:16:42] news too.

Nancy (16:43):

Yeah. Probably more than you'd like to sometimes. And I love them and it did take a while, the empty nester thing as well, because I've been there too. And it's really nice to have a place to go spend the weekend that's not my house, where I can go make a mess and leave and...

Ericka (17:02):

That's right.

Nancy (17:02):

Yeah.

Ericka (17:04):

It's like you have a built in Airbnb, right?

Nancy (17:07):

So that was one thing I told them from the beginning, "Wherever you go, you have to make sure you have a room for mom." And that really hit home with them because they both have a room for moms.

Ericka (17:16):

That's fantastic. [crosstalk 00:17:17] that's another good takeaway. I'm going to make a mental note of that one. That's a good one. So I'm curious Nancy, so now that you have branched out, not only becoming that single mom, raising your two daughters, helping them become their own hardworking, independent women. So do you feel your business now, your online business of coaching women themselves, do you feel a lot of your past helps you when you're mentoring your clients? That philosophy of just being able to go through the hard times, being aware of what you're doing, why you're doing it, do you really feel that fosters that?

Nancy (17:55):

I do. But in my membership, I take more of what I've learned in my many years of sales that I wish someone had taught me earlier.

Ericka (18:06):

Okay.

Nancy (18:07):

Instead of just having to go out and find my way, to have someone say, "Hey, look, try this or try this or do this." And there's no one right way, you have to do what works for you. So I try not to honestly take too much of my [crosstalk 00:18:25].

Ericka (18:24):

Personal.

Nancy (18:25):

... personal past. Yes. And bring it in [inaudible 00:18:28] because I don't want... I don't know what their lives are going to hold or where they've been. And I try not to ask them that, because it's hard for people to talk about that sometimes. What I want to do is help them move forward from where they are with the information that I have. And that's where I go. I try not to sit in the past too much because it's done, it's over. It is what it is. And really all you have is today and where you want to go in the future.

Ericka (18:58):

I like that. So it's like, action is now. And anything that's happened-

Nancy (19:02):

It is.

Ericka (19:02):

... in the past gets us to where we are. It's about where it is we really want to go moving forward. So if there was a woman who was middle aged, who was almost empty nester, and she really wanted to begin a business, what would be your advice for her? Why should she delve in even if she's afraid or doesn't even know where to begin? Especially when you're... like technology and all this stuff. So what's the one reason why she should just go ahead and do it?

Nancy (19:31):

Because was when your children leave the house, you are left with a decision about what you are going to do for the rest of your life. And I could not have done what I'm doing now five years ago because my focus was on my children. I know a lot of people do it and I don't know how they do it, but I give them all kinds of credit for doing it, but I could not have done it. So once my children were out of the house, I had that flexibility and freedom to take a dream of something that I've always done and run with it and see where I can go with it.

Ericka (20:08):

Nice. So you really do have that time and space. So it's a matter of just having courage, getting clear and taking action. And learning along the way because it doesn't necessarily have to be perfect, it just needs to be a beginning.

Nancy (20:21):

Exactly. And there are also so many more tools out there now to make things much, much easier. I could not have done this five years ago because the technology did not exist to take what I have and put everything together without... it would've been much more difficult. And I actually went to... Who was it? Grand Cardone.

Ericka (20:46):

Okay.

Nancy (20:48):

And [crosstalk 00:20:48] probably about two, two and a half years ago, right around the time I started this and I went and Russell Brunson was there and ClickFunnels.

Ericka (20:55):

Oh my goodness.

Nancy (20:56):

And as I'm watching this, I'm like, "This is what I wanted to do. And he can provide me with a way to do it that all fits together and seems very simple." Since then, I've taken that apart and put it back together again in a little bit of a different way. But the technology that was... it was not out there to take everything and put it together, your email, a way to provide a membership, a way to provide information and a way to share it with people, was not out there at the time that I wanted to do this. That was what held me back was the technology.

Ericka (21:31):

Yeah. So not only that, technology is more user friendly and more accessible than ever. So all the more reason to jump in and give it a try. So I love that message, it's a positive one that I think a lot of women need to hear. I really, really do so. Thanks for sharing that.

Nancy (21:44):

Yeah. I'm not a technological person, but it's much easier. And it's not always perfect, but-

Ericka (21:50):

Yes, I can kind of relate with that one, for sure.

Nancy (21:55):

And it's worth it. And it keeps your brain moving and it allows you to help other people. And I think everybody has something inside of them that they can share that other people will find valuable.

Ericka (22:07):

I love that.

Nancy (22:08):

And if you don't share that you're doing people... Just like if you don't sell whatever your product is, you're doing people a disservice by keeping your talents and your information to yourself.

Ericka (22:20):

Yes. I do.

Nancy (22:21):

So get out there and share. Yes.

Ericka (22:24):

I definitely agree with that. So Nancy, I'm going to ask you two more question. So I want to know, so if someone's going through a challenging time, what are a few things that they can keep in mind that helps them stay hopeful during a daunting time?

Nancy (22:42):

Well, we touched on my biggest takeaway from that whole experience was, no matter what you're going through for one, someone else is probably always going through something worse, but it's hard to understand that when you're in the middle of it.

Ericka (23:00):

Exactly.

Nancy (23:00):

But you can try and stay positive in a really... It's not what happens to you, it's how you react to it. That's what you said earlier too. And that is so hard to remember and get over. But I wish that I had been able to do that better.

Ericka (23:19):

That's okay. I think it's hard to do that when we're in the trenches. That's why I think sometimes if we know, maybe it can help us when we're actually in the trenches. So no worries. Yeah. It's hard.

Nancy (23:31):

Sorry. My phone is just going off like crazy. I apologize. [crosstalk 00:23:35]. But yes. I wish that I had been able to live that better at the moment.

Ericka (23:40):

So to really have perspective and to remain as positive as possible. And I also felt that sense of community that you created as well, supported you through that too.

Nancy (23:52):

They are still my community. Yes. We raised our kids together. Our kids were more like cousins than friends. And they're still like that because we all... and some of them were married with children and [crosstalk 00:24:07] a husband and some of them didn't, but we all needed each other in different ways. And yeah, so they have aunts and uncles that they did not have before. I call them my Florida sisters because you have to have people who you can call at 3:00 in the morning and you know that they would jump through hoops for you and not be angry about it. And you provide the same thing. We all need that person or those people in our lives.

Ericka (24:32):

Absolutely. So then when you're coming through a daunting challenge, you need to have perspective, you need to remain as positive as possible and then community, community, community. So that is fabulous. And the fact that's essentially a part of your family now, that's a total silver lining through the challenge. And I love a good silver lining. So Nancy-

Nancy (24:53):

I am very blessed. Yes.

Ericka (24:54):

You are, yes. It's nice that you acknowledge or recognize and appreciate it. Because sometimes people are in a state of blessing and don't always see that or feel it or acknowledge it. So it's wonderful that you have that silver lining and it's still a part of your life today. And it enhances your daughter's lives as well. So that's pretty fabulous when you think about it.

Nancy (25:15):

Thank you.

Ericka (25:15):

Oh, well thank you for sharing. So Nancy, how can women, especially women who are interested in starting businesses, getting involved in sales, how can they learn more about you and get in contact with you?

Nancy (25:32):

The best way to find me where I spend most of my time is on Instagram, at salesmadesimplepodcast.com. They can go to my website, which is www.madesimplebusinesslearning.com. And I am a salesperson true and true unapologetically.

Ericka (25:51):

I love that. I love it.

Nancy (25:53):

So they can find more information about the sales portion of it. But I do find myself transitioning more and more into talking with people about how to start their own businesses. So that's interesting. That's something new. I felt that from the very beginning, I think that's why I named the company madesimplebusinesslearning.com instead of just salesmadesimple.com.

Ericka (26:16):

And I like [crosstalk 00:26:17].

Nancy (26:18):

... let see where this is going to go. Yes.

Ericka (26:20):

So I see that Nancy, that's also why you're so aspirational and I love that about you because you're always open to opportunity. And I like how you always grow and do and apply. And for me that's just... it gives other people hope. So seeing you doing your work and doing brilliantly without apology gives other women confidence to maybe throw their hat in the ring and see what they can do too. So I'm really grateful for that. As your friend and as your fellow Instagram follower, thank you for always being an inspiration that way.

Nancy (26:51):

Well, thank you. And you are so inspirational too Erika. You know that. I do my exercises and I teach other people what you've taught me. So yes. And you don't even know that. So that's the other thing, you don't see how far your own teachings go to help other people that you will never meet, but they do. And if I can do this, anybody can do it.

Ericka (27:12):

And I second that. So thank you, Nancy. I have one final question for you before I let you get back to your day. And I want to ask you, what is one way that you define zest for yourself in your life?

Nancy (27:30):

Right now... and I'm sure it may change in a few years. I'm hoping to have grandchildren soon, but don't tell my daughters that quite yet. But right now the zest is just having the time and money and the energy do the things that I really like to do. Like spending time with my family. And I like to travel, but I tend to travel back to the places that I really love. And the people that I really love. People are important to me. So that would be my zest in life is spending time with the people I love.

Ericka (28:03):

Oh, I love that. I do. I love it. This is great. Nancy, I am so glad that you came on to share with us today and not only share with us, but share your personal information with us today. And I really feel that will have an impact on someone that's either going through that situation, has been through that situation or just like in my case, to let me know that it's possible, no matter what circumstance you're in. So thank you so much for taking the time and chitty chatting with me today, and I'm just really grateful, Nancy.

Ericka (28:38):

I appreciate you holding space for these conversations to help you rediscover the essence of who you're capable of becoming. So you can choose to live your life authentically without apology. Want transcripts for this podcast? Visit thezestfulmovement.com, where you'll also find more resources cultivated to guide you and reprioritizing and redefining yourself for your design second life journey on The Zestful Movement Blog. You can also become part of community by joining our weekly Essence of Zest newsletter during your visit to this site. Until next time, please do keep it zesty.