Real Talk: Midlife By Design

Ep. 31 | Shift from Fear and Doubt to Taking Action with Courage and Clarity with Lauren Fontiera

March 08, 2022 Ericka, Curator of Zest / Lauren Frontiera, Tapping (EFT) Season 1 Episode 31
Real Talk: Midlife By Design
Ep. 31 | Shift from Fear and Doubt to Taking Action with Courage and Clarity with Lauren Fontiera
Show Notes Transcript

Do you feel stuck in your midlife? A sense of knowing there has to be more for you, yet not knowing how to move beyond this feeling of stuck-ness? 

Could you believe that that feeling is trapped within your nervous system and your subconscious? 

If you said yes, how would you feel about being able to move beyond it so you may experience more of the freedom and joy that you deserve in your life journey?

I personally believe that midlife is the most excellent time to move beyond these stuck layers, and I'm grateful that our guest today will be shining some light on this topic. 
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Lauren is an intuitive soul coach and guide for humans seeking more soul guidance for their spiritual journeys and awakenings. 

Her work is rooted in ancient wisdom, modalities, and tools, and she brings a multi-dimensional approach to her work to support all of you, mind, body, and soul. 

Having studied and been certified in emotional freedom technique and hypnotherapy, she merges many modalities and intuitive practices to support you in embodying the truth of your soul. 

Lauren specializes in energetic practices of tapping, past life soul regression, and spiritual hypnotherapy.

Her work is rooted in the belief that you have within you all of the answers that you are ready for, and her hope is to guide you home to that truth.

Stay connected with Lauren  and find out more about her work with the quick, access links below:

Website


Instagram

We're inspired to become the #1 Resource for Midlife Women. Go get access to articles, expert insights and more at  The Zestful Movement

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Ericka (00:07):

Midlife. What does it mean to you? I believe that midlife is a place to recognize, reprioritize, and redefine your purpose. It's a place of new beginnings, new personal growth, and new adventures. Midlife is a chance to release your outdated labels and begin designing your second life journey. How? With heart centered experts, tangible tools, and a supportive community. Why? Because if not now, then when? Now, that's real talk. I am Ericka, your host and curator of zest. Let's begin building your midlife by design together.

Ericka (00:42):

If you're enjoying this content, lead a review on Apple podcast and share this podcast with someone you care about too, as it truly helps to keep the zesty energy flowing. Visit thezestfulmovement.com, where you'll find more resources cultivated for your midlife journey.

Ericka (01:09):

Lauren is an intuitive soul coach and guide for humans seeking more soul guidance for their spiritual journeys and awakenings. Her work is rooted in ancient wisdom, modalities, and tools, and she brings a multi-dimensional approach to her work to support all of you, mind, body, and soul. Having studied and been certified in emotional freedom technique and hypnotherapy, she merges many modalities and intuitive practices to support you in embodying the truth of your soul. Lauren specializes in energetic practices of tapping, past life soul regression, and spiritual hypnotherapy. Her work is rooted in the belief that you have within you all of the answers that you are ready for, and her hope is to guide you home to that truth.

Ericka (01:59):

Do you feel stuck in your midlife? A sense of knowing there has to be more for you, yet not knowing how to move beyond this feeling of stuckness? Could you believe that that feeling is trapped within your nervous system and your subconscious? If you said yes, how would you feel about being able to move beyond it so you may experience more of the freedom and joy that you deserve in your life journey? I personally believe that midlife is the most excellent time to move beyond these stuck layers, and I'm grateful that our guest today will be shining some light on this topic. Lauren, welcome to Midlife by Design.

Lauren (02:35):

Hello, Ericka. Hello, love.

Ericka (02:38):

I'm so grateful to have you here today, talking about a topic that I don't think a lot of people are really familiar with, but I feel like it's something that could be a useful, tangible tool that can be into practice at any point in time. But before we begin, I would like the listeners to learn a little bit more about your spiritual journey and how it's become an integral part of your own wellness practice.

Lauren (03:02):

Yeah. What a question, Ericka. We could be here a while. I will give you, so the short story, I guess I found my way here in my previous job. I had a podcast for women entrepreneurs and an online community for women entrepreneurs, and was really focused on that journey of life and business and how it intersected and the growth that we experience, that life calls us into when we are following the path of what we feel called to do. I think that our calling can change throughout life.

Lauren (03:45):

And I was on this really intense personal growth journey. And I think that for a lot of people, that journey continues to go deeper or it forks into this spiritual journey, which is what it did for me. And after a while, I realized that I needed to make a change. I felt really called to start sharing the work and the impact that my spiritual journey was having on me with other people, and the podcast and platform I had built at that point just didn't feel aligned.

Lauren (04:19):

So I ended up leaving that behind to start doing coaching more in the space that I'm in now. And it has since evolved. And I didn't start out doing tapping and hypnotherapy, and now those are the main foundations of my work, but the core of my work has really been and continues to be guiding women home to their truth, their inner knowing, their intuition, and really finding that space where they can embody that free whole expansion of who they truly are. Whatever I'm doing, whether that's tapping or a different modality, which I know we're talking about tapping today, that is always my intention, is to really support women in finding their way back to their truth.

Lauren (05:07):

And I think it's because I spent years trying to find that myself. Over the course of life, I had lost that. And I was looking outside of myself for the answers, and I was looking outside of myself for validation and affirmation of who I believed myself to be, which often can become a really lonely place because you just feel really disconnected from yourself.

Ericka (05:33):

Yeah, I love that. You've hit on so many how poignant little points there. One that I heard is a fork in the road, essentially. And I feel like midlife is that fork. Sometimes we don't choose that. It's just the happenings come and evolve, and we have to pick a fork there. And I love how you spoke about an expansiveness and choosing to do something that was more fulfilling for who you are in that moment. And I really love how you also, the last thing, I can't remember it now, but you had some good ones, but I like the fork. I like the sense of expansion.

Ericka (06:04):

And I also like having the courage to change because even though we have built something and it seems holistic to us, it doesn't mean that that's something we have to do forever, and it's important that we do evolve. So really beautiful topics and points on your own spiritual journey. It brings us into that tapping. So I don't know that a lot of people really know what that is, Lauren. So could you tell us exactly what is tapping?

Lauren (06:31):

Yeah, totally. So tapping is the nickname for emotional freedom technique, or EFT, and it is rooted in the same science and wisdom of ancient Chinese acupressure and acupuncture. It's a combination of ancient Chinese acupressure, which is really just applying pressure to different acupressure points throughout the body, and modern day psychology, because in tapping, you are tapping on meridian points to activate them and speaking out loud.

Lauren (07:05):

So it's an energetic practice. In traditional Chinese medicine, it's believed that Chi, or life energy, flows through the body in these energetic highways. You can think about them like a modern highway that we drive down. And sometimes energy and emotion can become stuck or stagnant, just like traffic. And we can use tapping to help free up that flow of energy.

Ericka (07:28):

Yeah. And I like this concept of being in the flow of your life, and if you're feeling stuck, it means that there are things you can do to help you find that energy again and find that flow again. So what are some reasons that people would use this method to tap into that energy flow?

Lauren (07:44):

Yeah. There are so many benefits to tapping. You often hear like, hey, if it's a challenge, try tapping. It can really help with so many physical, emotional, mental challenges. A lot of the women and humans that I work with have found their way to tapping because of anxiety, overwhelm, those feelings that can often originate out of that space of feeling stuck, feeling uncertain, that inner dissonance, that inner conflict of I feel called to something else, but I'm not sure what it is, or I desire to feel different and I'm not there yet.

Lauren (08:22):

But tapping can be incredibly calming and soothing to the body for anxiety, fear, overwhelm. The list is long. Because they found in recent years, or in recent studies, that as we are tapping on these meridian points, we're actually sending a signal to the part of the brain that's responsible for the fight or flight response, which so many of us live so much of our present day lives in that stress state, in that fight or flight response. And it's halting that response. It's actually helping us shift out of the sympathetic nervous system, that stress state, and into the parasympathetic nervous system, so that space that's responsible for peace and restoration. So it's incredibly calming to the body.

Ericka (09:05):

Yeah. And I feel like when we're operating in a place of calm, then that also allows us to have clarity. And when we have clarity, then we can make clearer actions on what it is that we want to bring forward. And as you use those key words of overwhelm, feeling stuck, feeling anxious, not sure of what's next, those seem to resonate really clearly when people are going through significant life changes. And in the research, those words come up often for women in midlife. So I can't think of a better topic to help kind of shift that flow so that we're going towards that calm and clarity versus being stuck in the overwhelm. And so when you're working with your clients, Lauren, what are they surprised to find out once they begin the tapping process?

Lauren (09:47):

I think the thing that comes up is just like, wow, I didn't know that it could be that simple. A lot of people, if they're familiar with tapping, like there's a lot of YouTube videos out there. I make very short videos. But it's very different than using tapping in a personal way. It's one thing to pull up a video and repeat after them. It's another to use it in a very intentional way for yourself. And I think a lot of people are surprised by how quickly they can feel that shift.

Lauren (10:17):

And when I'm working with clients one-on-one or sharing my method of tapping, it's very somatic and embodied, really guiding them into connection with the energy. Like, if we're working with anxiety, rather than just doing it from a heady space of like, I'm feeling anxious right now and I'm feeling overwhelmed, and talking through it, I really guide them through connecting with their body and attuning to that energy.

Lauren (10:43):

And I think that a lot of people are surprised by how much they notice when they do that. Because again, for a lot of us, we live in this world and operate from a very heady or mental cerebral space. So I think those are the two things, just how much they notice when they slow down and tune into their bodies, and how quickly they can feel a shift or feel that calm with tapping.

Ericka (11:04):

And when you're saying somatic, what does that look like? So being connected in your body, what is an example of how a person could experience that?

Lauren (11:12):

Yeah. Beautiful. So for everyone listening, I'll guide you through it really quickly, just a short example. Let's work with overwhelm, since we've talked about that. So I want you to notice how you may feel overwhelmed in your life right now. And as you do, take a deep breath in, close your eyes, and I'm going to ask you a question. I want you to trust the very first answer that comes to you. If you were to know, where is that feeling of overwhelm in your body right now, and just allow your awareness to drift to that space. And then notice how it feels.

Lauren (11:51):

Do you feel any weight or pressure to it? Do you feel any tightness or constriction? Do you notice any movement there? Do you notice any colors? What color does that feeling of overwhelm have? Do you notice any other visuals? And as you're doing this, you really begin to connect and attune with the energy of that overwhelm in your body. And you can take a deep breath in and open your eyes now, but it's in that space that we would begin to tap through that very embodied experience of the overwhelm. Because again, these emotions, these experiences that we're having, it's not just of the mind or head. We're experiencing the ramifications of that overwhelm or that anxiety, that stress, whatever it may be, in our bodies.

Ericka (12:48):

That is lovely. And I really appreciate you sharing that with us because that's not what I was thinking. And so that really gives our listeners a clear idea of what you mean about connecting to the body, where you're feeling it, where you're experiencing it, and how you're attaching to that. So then the tapping comes in to release and move that forward. So to me, this really affirms that this is a beautiful practice for midlife women that are feeling ungrounded and uncertain. It sounds like a great way for them to anchor themselves. Would you say?

Lauren (13:18):

Totally. Yeah.

Ericka (13:19):

Yeah. It's really powerful. And so we get into this practice, how often would you recommend a client practice for the maximum benefits? And even though someone can practice individually, what do you think are the really benefits of having a guide to support you in this process?

Lauren (13:37):

Yeah, so I encourage people to tap daily. You can't tap too much. If someone begins tapping and you feel called to tap like multiple times throughout a day, beautiful, do that. But if people are beginning, I really encourage them to make it a daily practice because tapping is incredibly powerful. However, it's only as powerful as it is that we're using it. If we're not using it, we're not experiencing those shifts.

Ericka (14:03):

Makes sense.

Lauren (14:03):

So yeah, I really encourage people to do it daily, whether you're doing it in the morning or at night, or whether you're doing it reactively, when you notice yourself in a moment of overwhelm or stress, to help calm and settle the nervous system.

Lauren (14:19):

And as for the benefits of doing it on your own versus working with a practitioner, if you're working with a practitioner one-on-one, the benefits are this is a practice that you can do anytime, anywhere. You don't have to work with a practitioner. That's one of the things that I find most powerful about tapping, because it's incredibly empowering to know that we can have this tool, this practice, that we can use ourselves literally in any moment, even if we're unable to be with our therapist or work with a practitioner.

Lauren (14:49):

However, when I work with clients one-on-one, we often enter the space, like having a knowing about some inner conflict that we're feeling or experiencing, but not really knowing how to tune in there, or needing someone to help guide us. It is incredibly powerful to have someone help guide us through our healing and growth journey.

Ericka (15:11):

Absolutely.

Lauren (15:12):

Yeah. I think that's one of the reasons it can be really empowering. The other is just if you're unfamiliar with tapping and you're wanting to learn the basics so that you can use it more on your own in your everyday life, working with a practitioner or doing some sort of course or learning experience that can support you in learning it more, would really just empower you even more in using the practice on your own.

Ericka (15:38):

Yes, that totally makes sense, because as I'm listening, it's kind of like when you want to work out your physical body. I mean, we all know the things that we can do, but whenever we are able to bring in a trainer or a coach, it seems like we're able to go a little bit deeper and get those results that are a little more tactile and visible. And I also think that when we're getting discouraged in process, that coach allows us to come back and reaffirm what we've accomplished and where it is we're trying to go. So it's nice to have that support.

Ericka (16:06):

Also in listening to you, it sounds like tapping allows real clear space for a person to find stillness, and through that stillness and tactile movement, it seems like it also generates the awareness. And I feel like those two things seem to be keystones to being able to move our life forward, especially when there really is that sense of being stuck. So I like that tapping instantly provides that force because that's an excellent practice all on its own.

Lauren (16:34):

Totally. Yeah.

Ericka (16:36):

So once your clients are starting to find that flow of energy and realizing that they're going into the places that they really desire and leaving behind that sense of stuckness, what are some additional modalities that you recommend for them that can really affirm where they're going and to continue moving forward in their progress?

Lauren (16:53):

Yeah. So first of all, I always tell people there are infinite modes of how to continue your growth journey or your spiritual journey. I specialize in a few of them. Because of that, most of my clients are also interested in past life regression or hypnotherapy, and tapping can be really powerful to begin with because in hypnosis, we are really journeying into that deep, calm space of mind and body.

Lauren (17:27):

And if we can begin with tapping and supporting the body in feeling safe and slowing down, and feeling safe in that space of stillness, it's far easier to tune in. So for a lot of my clients, they end up going on, or beginning with, or moving into a past life regression experience and really connecting more deeply with their soul and spirit guides to support them more on their personal journey in this life because they're on spiritual journeys as well.

Ericka (17:58):

Right. So someone's spiritual journey, once again, how would you quickly define that, and what can someone find out by learning more about their spiritual journey?

Lauren (18:09):

Yeah, that's a beautiful question. When I say spiritual journey, it is, and I guess the way that when I look back on my own journey, there was a period of time when it was not spiritual in nature. I was very unaware of the work that I do now and this spiritual space. And at that point, it was kind of just me focused on my human body and mind.

Lauren (18:37):

And when we bring in spiritual growth and a spiritual journey to that, we're now not only working with and aware of our physical minded body, but we are expanding our awareness to be more aware of our soul, the infinite part of us, spirit, the universe, God, [inaudible 00:19:00] spirit guides, whatever you believe and relate to on an expansive spiritual level. We're also bringing that into our journey of healing and growth and expansion.

Ericka (19:11):

I see. And what would you say is one beneficial moment from delving deeper into one's spiritual journey?

Lauren (19:19):

Hmm. It's this feeling of connecting with this infinite expansive part of you that is just so much bigger than the human body and this human experience, and it can be incredibly moving and emotional. It still is for me, even when I tap into that. But just this feeling of connecting with something larger than yourself, I believe that we're connecting with the universe at large, my soul, my higher self. It's a very expansive feeling of just this infinite wholeness that is really beautiful and special.

Ericka (20:03):

Now, I really like that because I think that's the thing in life. As we go through life, we seem so certain about what it is we're doing. And then as those certainties begin to take a shift and go in different directions, it's so easy to be disconnected to who we are, what we've done. Did it matter? Do we do any good? We're always kind of looking at it from maybe a slightly negative lens, if you will.

Ericka (20:24):

So this idea of being connected to our self and our energy and our soul journey, I think really feels that sense of expansion. I like that you say that. But it also makes us feel connected. It makes us feel whole. It allows us to be free. And I think when we can obtain those things in our lives, then I think we can live fully also, without any restraints, without any hesitation, just really showing up as we are and enjoying life as it's intended to be. So I like that explanation. I think it's beautiful.

Lauren (20:57):

Yeah. Yeah. So living fully alive.

Ericka (21:02):

Yeah, fully alive. And I don't know, if we're not going to be fully alive, then what's the point?

Lauren (21:05):

Right, right.

Ericka (21:07):

And understanding that that ebbs and flows, yes, but having the resources and the tools allows us to move through those lower areas quicker, more efficiently, getting what we need and then continuing to expand upon it.

Ericka (21:19):

So for anyone that's listening today and they're very intrigued, they're like, hmm, this sounds very interesting and I'd love a little bit of that in my life, what's one last little nugget you could give them of why they should go ahead and try this method of tapping and seeking a little deeper into their spiritual story?

Lauren (21:36):

Mm. I always tell people to trust your intuitive knowing. So if you feel a tug to explore tapping, trust that. And I think that if I could share anything else with you, it would just be a piece of my personal journey with it. Because when I first found and heard of tapping, I thought it was so weird. I was skeptical AF. I was incredibly disinterested, until I started using it. And life has a funny sense of humor, right? Because it's now such a foundational part of my work. So when people tell me, "I feel like this is so weird, I'm super skeptical," I'm like, "I get it. I was there."

Lauren (22:13):

But the one thing that I have realized as I reflect on my own journey is I did so much work, so much work in my personal life, leading up to tapping. And it was beautiful, and it was wonderful. And I felt like my awareness was expanding, but until I found tapping, tapping really gave me this sense of freedom. The awareness that I had found through the other personal growth and spiritual journey pursuits had really just helped me have more understanding and more compassion and more self awareness, which is so powerful and incredible.

Lauren (22:52):

Tapping, though, helped me feel free, like I was able to take that awareness and truly free up that energy in my body and find this sense of freedom and peace and calm and confidence in myself, unlike anything else I've ever found. So if that resonates with you, trust it, lean in, try it. It's okay to be skeptical. I was, too.

Ericka (23:17):

I love that. Absolutely fabulous. Thank you for sharing that. So I think on that frame then, how can listeners find out more about your offerings, Lauren, and how can they become a part of your community as well?

Lauren (23:28):

Yeah. So I am on Instagram at @laurenfrontiera. I have a lot of information there, a lot of tapping videos. So if you're curious and want to begin learning more, that's a beautiful place to start. And my website is laurenfrontiera.com. So if you're interested in going deeper than my Instagram posts, I am releasing a course, it will be released once this episode goes live, called The Magic of Tapping, that really guides you through everything that you need to know to begin to use tapping in your daily life, in your personal life, on your spiritual journey, to support you in the healing and growth and evolution that you're feeling called into.

Ericka (24:17):

Wow, that sounds fantastic. So lots of places to begin and connect. Absolutely fabulous. So I love that, Lauren. So on our last, last question, I always get a little bit sad here, because I want to talk a little bit more, but then I'm like, okay, you've got to leave some. You've got to leave something on the table. But this is really my favorite question because I find that everyone shows up in it so uniquely, and then yet there's this continuation that binds us as well. So I'm really curious how you answer this today. Lauren, how is it that you define zest in your life?

Lauren (24:49):

Hmm. You know, Ericka, I thought about this when you asked me this question, because I was like, oh my gosh, I don't know. How do I define it? Zest is not a word that I use outside of talking about citrus fruits.

Ericka (25:01):

Absolutely. A little zest for that sugar cookie, right?

Lauren (25:06):

And yet it's such a beautiful word that it brings a smile to my face. So if I were to define zest, or really what does zest mean to me, it's this awe and wonder and love of life. I just, going back to this being fully alive, it's this awe and wonder of being fully alive. And I feel like you meet humans and you're like, wow. Like, they just carry that energy. It's just, yeah, awe and wonder for life.

Ericka (25:43):

I love that. And I think we miss that sometimes. It's like children have that so naturally, and then I don't know what happens. I guess it's easy to say, well, life happens. I'm not sure exactly what happens, but it's nice to know that we can tap back into that awe and wonder and make it a part of our lives however it is we see fit. And I thank you today, Lauren, one, for sharing your zest with us, and also giving us such great resources and tools so that we can begin to tap back into that energy that serves us, especially in our second life journey. Thank you so much for being here today.

Lauren (26:16):

Ditto. Thank you, love.

Ericka (26:25):

I appreciate you holding space for these conversations to help you rediscover the essence of who you're capable of becoming so you can choose to live your life authentically without apology. Want transcripts for this podcast? Visit thezestfulmovement.com, where you'll also find more resources cultivated to guide you in reprioritizing and redefining yourself for your design second life journey on The Zestful Movement blog. You can also become part of community by joining our weekly Essence of Zest newsletter during your visit to the site. Until next time, please do keep it zesty.