Real Talk: Midlife By Design

Ep. 9 | Aging With Grace It's A Real Thing, Promise With Savira Gupta

October 29, 2021 Ericka, Curator of Zest / Savira Gupta, Yoga Teacher Season 1 Episode 9
Real Talk: Midlife By Design
Ep. 9 | Aging With Grace It's A Real Thing, Promise With Savira Gupta
Show Notes Transcript

Savira Gupta comes from a family of strong women rooted in the Arya Samaj tradition. 

This tradition wanted to revive the Vedic way of life and the need to create a just society for all despite color, caste or creed. 

Having spent her childhood in Malaysia, formative years in India, teenage years in France, and adult years both in the UK and USA, she believes that this has given her the foundation to relate to people from all walks of life. 

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be comfortable in your own being as the aging process evolves day after day? 

Typically, there's a futile resistance to aging. Yet what would it be like if you embrace the process? 

What would be the benefits to your mind, body and soul? 

Today's guest embodies this exact sentiment, and it's beyond inspiring to witness. I'm so grateful to share her energy with you today. 

 Stay connected with Savira and find out more about his work with the quick, access links below:

YouTube

We're inspired to become the #1 Resource for Midlife Women. Go get access to articles, expert insights and more at  The Zestful Movement 

Tags: #thezestfulmovment #midliifebydesignpodcast #agingwithgrace #midlifewomen #midlifewisdom #aging #agingwomen #ageisjustanumber #freedomandaging #silversisters #embraceagin #grayhairdontcare #womensupportingwomen

Ericka  00:04

Midlife. What does it mean to you? I believe that midlife is a place to recognize, reprioritize and redefine your purpose. It's a place of new beginnings, new personal growth and new adventures. Midlife is a chance to release your outdated labels and begin designing your second life journey. How? With heart centered experts, tangible tools and a supportive community. Why? Because if not now, than when? Now that's real talk. I am Ericka, your host and Curator of Zest. Let's begin building our Midlife by Design together. If you're enjoying this content, please follow and share this podcast with someone you care about too, as it truly helps to keep that zesty energy flowing and visit TheZestfulMovement.com where you'll find more resources cultivated for your midlife journey on health, relationships and more. Savira Gupta comes from a family of strong women rooted in the Arya Samaj tradition. This tradition wanted to revive the Vedic way of life and the need to create a just society for all despite color, caste or creed. Having spent her childhood in Malaysia, formative years in India, teenage years in France, and adult years both in the UK and USA, she believes that this has given her the foundation to relate to people from all walks of life. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be comfortable in your own being as the aging process evolves day after day? Typically, there's a futile resistance to aging. Yet what would it be like if you embrace the process? What would be the benefits to your mind, body and soul? Today's guest embodies this exact sentiment, and it's beyond inspiring to witness. I'm so grateful to share her energy with you today. Savira welcome to Midlife by Design.

 

Savira  02:08

Thank you, Ericka.

 

Ericka  02:10

I am so glad to have you here, because I saw one of your Instagram posts, and it just resonated with me. You shared an image of yourself, I want to say in your 40s correct me, correct me if I'm wrong. And then a picture of how you look today. And the whole conversation was about just embrace aging for what it is. And it becomes a more beautiful journey. Versus trying to fit into like a mold and an image that no longer really serves us, because it's too much work to maintain it. Is that true?

 

Savira  02:41

Oh that's it's...first of all, I think it's hard work to constantly maintain what our body was or what we looked like, as opposed to simply embracing it and let it take you where it needs to go. And at the same time of course I mean we do the home remedies, the homecare the taking care just like we take care of our mind and our and our spiritual essence, we take care of the body as well. But it's funny that you're you're talking to me today, because in a month's time, then I turned 60.

 

Ericka  03:17

Oh my goodness. Okay, isn't that something. Your 40 year old self inspired me so much. And you're still inspiring me today. I absolutely love that. That's fabulous. So I wanted I wanted to know, though, so when was the aha moment when you said, it's too much work to do that. And it's not it doesn't mean not taking care of ourselves. It's really about embracing what's what's coming with that day to day passing of time. So what was your aha moment when you chose to drop resistance, and then simply just enjoy the passing of the time?

 

Savira  03:52

My aha moment is, I look at my parents, they're always the ones who give me those aha moments. And I saw my dad, just simply look at my mum, and they've been married for 65 years. Oh, my goodness. And my dad had just simply said, you are as beautiful as you walk today on the foot as the first day that I met you. Not exactly in those lines, but it was something  And I and my mum said, oh, thank you. I haven't done anything.

 

Ericka  04:31

She's like it's just me. It's just me. I love that. Absolutely love that. And so do you. That's that's beautiful inspiration.

 

Savira  04:40

And that's that's something that when I saw my parents it's it made me realize that, you know, it's, we can age gracefully and with acceptance or we can age with that sense of refusal of aging. So it's I know it sounds weird, but you know, you're aging, but you're also not accepting how you age. And you're refusing to age, which sometimes is, can be quite stressful on the body, on the mind, and, you know, just the overall inner essence or inner attitude that we have towards life. It's that holding on to something that we know is going to slip, but we want to hold on to it. And that's where the issues come in too.

 

Ericka  05:36

Absolutely, it's almost like learning to let go allows more of our authentic being come forward, versus trying to hold on to something that really isn't tangible. So that's, I think the beauty comes in letting go. Right. And I think the authenticity of us becomes louder as we choose to let go. I think that's a beautiful message.

 

Savira  05:57

Absolutely. I think he says so well.

 

Ericka  06:01

Well, thank you, I will take that compliment. So do think your opportunity of living in various countries throughout your life gave you a broader scope and appreciation for the aging process as well?

 

Savira  06:12

Absolutely. So when I was growing up in Malaysia, and let's say India, everything was more of natural. You take life as it comes. You face life. And I learned to flow with life living from that Asian culture. Coming to the west, I learned something very different, was more physical, was how to take care of the outside. And there was less emphasis about taking care of the inside. And so I, you know, merge the two together, and tried to balance both the inside and the outside.

 

Ericka  07:01

I think that's a beautiful balance for us to have. In fact, I kind of believe just listening to you. And also witnessing your journey. I also believe that when we nurture more of the inside, once again, the beauty is brighter, because it's more true to who we are versus trying to keep something up, if you will. Like not, we're not trying to keep it up, we just want it to be what it is. And the more we can get comfortable in our skin and get to know ourselves more on a personal level, I think it allows us to show up in the world much brighter. So I it's nice that you've had that experience of a broader experience, and creating your own sense of doing that for yourself. That's really brilliant.

 

Savira  07:44

Sorry, go ahead. I was gonna say, you know, I think when we start to take care of the insides and become more comfortable with it, our childlike essence or nature, blossoms, and I found that to be my aha moment is to still be childlike. And enjoy the little moments and see things with that curiosity, which is also childlike. So the more I nurture that childish, or that child nature, that childish, like a childlike nature within me, my outlook is, is a lot more different.

 

Ericka  08:30

Yeah. So playfulness is a key component to that as well. And I do I do you definitely think especially in the I can speak more to the Western world, it doesn't seem like there's always space for playfulness. And oftentimes when we do have playfulness, it's more of masking fatigue, emotions, feeling overwhelmed. So it's more of a masking versus really delving into and letting the playfulness come forward. So and I think and when I think of playfulness, I'm also thinking maybe there's not that many for competition as well. Sometimes it's really just about the experience and allowing your soul to be white and fulfilled that way.

 

Savira  09:08

I completely agree. I mean, we all we all have different experiences, and we learn from those experiences and and our emotions will also vary. I think it's just a matter of accepting. The thing is, acceptance is the most difficult aspect of one's journey. And the moment we learn to accept with or gracefully, things do change, our outlook does change and it reflects on our expression on our body language. And also in our I wouldn't say features, but it you can tell that there is a glow in someone's skin.

 

Ericka  09:54

I love that. Yeah, that's beautiful. So what would you say so with acceptance, being of course, the most important, therefore the most challenging, what do you think is like one practice someone could do to really allow acceptance become a part of their life over time? What's the one thing that helps to shift that?

 

Savira  10:14

For me, it has been sitting with own. For me, it's more like my yoga practice. But if you're not into yoga, then I, it's having a certain amount of faith. If we don't have faith, then we can't move forward. Absolutely. And we tend to live a lot in fear, which prevents us from moving forward. So there's we are, we're imprisoned by fear, whereas faith gives us more freedom. And when you have that faith, there's a certain amount of acceptance that comes with it.

 

Ericka  10:59

It's funny how those two show up together, right? And so when you speak to having faith, is faith is also something that's internal. It's not for it's not necessarily something that's external, that you're looking outside for faith, but you're looking to yourself for faith to find that acceptance. Is that is that correct?

 

Savira  11:16

Correct. I mean, you've got to have faith in yourself, in your abilities, in your qualities in your strength. So if you, if we don't have faith within ourselves, then that will always shake us. 

 

Ericka  11:31

Mm hmm.  Absolutely. Right. Because then we're always questioning, we're always judging, we're always looking outside. And that is that fear component to and when we're in fear, we can't be our fullest selves. We are not aware. There's definitely not space for playfulness, and the faith is completely squashed. So I find that really interesting. And so I would tend to believe that's one of your internal practices that you do for yourself. Seeking stillness so that you can have awareness so that that faith is reaffirmed in yourself and how you show up in the world. So what would be some of your I like how you used earlier the word to be in the flow? So what are some other rituals that you use so that you can be in the flow of your confidence, and just really embracing yourself? Despite the changes that may come in your 40s and your 50s and soon to be 60s? Like how do you find that flow and confidence to afirm you?

 

Savira  12:25

That's a good question. Um, I have, I don't have a specific ritual. And you know, the word flow, I tend to go with what presents itself in front of me. But yes, for me, that the one ritual or one thing that I do on a regular basis is, I am very attached to or I hold very dearly the Bhagavad Gita, which is what I tend to read a chapter or, or a stanza every night. But besides that, I sometimes will pamper myself. I will go out and have the facial and I will do things to, you know, to keep things where they're supposed to.

 

Ericka  13:16

Metaphorically and physically Yes?

 

Savira  13:19

But I have never gone, I have never gone and gotten anything injected, or cut or anything of that basis. But I do a lot of things at home and simply learn to appreciate who we are, as women. We have, we carry so much on our shoulders, and we do so much. And sometimes we seek value, or we expect others to value us. And I've learned to that it is important that we as women need to value our own strength,. Value who we are as a woman.

 

Ericka  13:57

Yes, and how that changes over time. There's still value in that, right, because sometimes I feel like, especially for moms, I feel like so much of our value comes from the children that we've created and nourished and raised and put into the world. For career women, we get attached to those labels, those outcomes, those accolades. And so that when we begin to age and those things shift away into a different phase, all of our value was outside of ourselves once again. And so I think when we're just standing there as the 40, 50,60 year old, we could have a natural tendency not to see the value of self because everything has been outside of self. And so then we give ourselves a hard time about the gray hair, the wrinkles, maybe the sagging breasts, whatever it may be maybe the extra pounds, right? And we put too much value in that.  So I do love this notion of like, be still with yourself. Have awareness, have faith and value all that you are as a woman and going more internal to seek that validation and stop looking outside of yourself for that validation.

 

Savira  15:04

Absolutely, I mean, media, people outside, everyone has an idea of what a woman should be. And I think that that should be thrown out the window, because we as women are individual. And yet we also share many things as women, and I think we need to own up to our individuality. We love who we are. We need to respect the person we are, whether we are with our strengths and our weaknesses. Because both go hand in hand and not one is better than the other. In fact, we learn from each of our strengths and our weaknesses.

 

Ericka  15:48

Absolutely. And so also that also means like if you want to wear the red lipstick, wear the red lipstick, but make sure like you're wearing it for you because it makes you feel good and validates who you are. And it's not really about how people judge or don't judge you with or without the lipstick. So I love that and it is it's so empowering to just start with self, because that's what really matters at the end of the day. And the more we can get comfortable in our skin the more we can have a presence in the world or like you say a glow and that glow i think is infectious and it's inspiring. So I think that's that's just absolutely it's just simple things but so profound right? Just we have to embrace those things in our lives as well.

 

Savira  16:30

I mean, if you come to think of it we uh as we age and as we've moved through life we've learned so much. There comes a point and I and for me it's happened I've come to the point where I don't I really don't care what others have to say. I really don't. The people who matter, I will value their opinion, their advice, their input, but what the rest of the world has to say about who whose severe is and how she should be and what she should wear. No, that goes out the window. I have not come or been through 60 years of my life to be told what I have to do or how I need to behave.

 

Ericka  17:11

What a powerful message. And imagine if we can embrace that a little bit younger in our lives. Like what could life be for us if we spent a little more time looking within versus looking out. And and I think that's why your example is so powerful because it shows you that it's it's possible. It shows you that it's important and your life is more fulfilled in that despite the things that are going on around you because your value comes from within. And you see where you fit in and where you don't fit in. And as far as you're concerned you don't care because it's what you're feeling and what's best for you in the moment. And honestly like if we can adopt that our lives could be so much more freeing.  Which would leave space for joy. Which leaves space for zest and growth right and so very simple yet once again powerful message. I really appreciate that. So what would you, what would you say to a woman severe that scared to let go of her past due to the uncertainty of her future? Like how could her life be enhanced I just embracing what's to come just the really that that notion of just let go? How do you get them to let go?

 

Savira  18:22

It's not easy and I've been through that stage where How do I let go of my past in order for me to move forward. That takes time. It takes time and it takes patience and it requires work on our part. And work in the sense is that every day I step on my mat and I do go back to the past but I now don't go back to the past with guilt or with questions or with putting myself down. I go back to the past and I look at it and then I see how far I've come.

 

Ericka  19:04

It's a measuring tool right. So it's like you're looking for looking for growth? Not looking for anything that's diminishes who you are?

 

Savira  19:13

Correct. Now I'm here at this point, and every day is a past. What I've learned now is not to go back to what I was 20 years ago, 25 years ago is I now look at okay, what was yesterday? So shortening that, that timeline makes a big difference as well.

 

Ericka  19:40

I like that. Yeah, cuz we're here in the now. We're here in the now. I guess what until just listening to you say that. I mean, if you think about it, it really doesn't make sense to go beyond you know, a day maybe two depending on circumstances, because there's really nothing we can do to change an event that happened five years ago, 10 years ago. The only thing we can do is gain knowledge from it, good, bad otherwise, and the build forward with that and value who we are, in every circumstance, even when circumstances didn't turn out the way we would have preferred. Where did we grow as an individual, and how can that support us as the person we are today? That reflection is very powerful that way.

 

Savira  20:23

It is. What I've learned through my own practice of yoga is that we will come face to face with the same experience, but wrapped differently if we haven't learned it the first time. So it's like opening a box of chocolate, right? Tasting that piece of chocolate till you get to the one that you really desire for you. 

 

Ericka  20:47

Have you been at my house Savira? I've done that before, so I understand. But a perfect metaphor, right? We keep trying until we get exactly what we want. Yes.  I kind of cut you off with my bad joke. Apologies. You can please continue.

 

Savira  21:13

I you know, I used to do that till I decided, you know, what is a waste of time? I know I like black chalk or dark chocolate. Go for it. Excuse me for using the word black. But it's dark, bitter chocolate with nuts in it. Yes. And so that so now that's all I go and buy. Because I know, I don't want to go through a whole box of chocolates. I know what I like.

 

Ericka  21:37

Well, you think about it, It's well, and when we take that approach, what is it? It's like disappointment that leaves a bad taste in your mouth. And it's consuming time and energy where if you just go to what you like...and and that's the beauty I think of midlife, we really do know what we like at this point in time. So why put energy towards doing things that we know in our hearts, we really don't want to do? Why not fulfill ourselves with those things that really resonate and matter to us? Yeah.

 

Savira  22:05

Exactly. This is important. We we have a strong mind as women and we know what we want. But sometimes outside interference or outside experiences or input can shake that. I think we need to stand firmly in, in our own strength. In who we believe in.  Who we are. And that's important for a woman to to understand.

 

Ericka  22:37

Yes, I appreciate that message. I don't know that it's one that's heard often enough. And I think sometimes when we're in the cloud of living life, it's easy to forget that. And we latch on to those habits, we latch on to those labels. And when they're no longer serving us anymore, we can find ourselves still doing the same things.  Tasting all the chocolates, when when we know we want the dark chocolate with the nuts in it. So it's like just go for what you want. And I would and I would guess also, as we get into that habit, understanding and valuing that it takes time, I appreciate you bringing that up. All of these things take effort, time and awareness. But if we do this more often do you find that it's opened up more joy in your life, because you got clear on what you want? You don't waste time getting to those choices. So now is it like, oh, there's more space to do more things that you enjoy?

 

Savira  23:31

Yes, absolutely. I am somebody, I'm going to give you a metaphor, when I used to go to the shops and and look and really spend time, you know, going through those racks or going from one shop to another. Now it's like a waste of time. Not only just I know exactly what works for me. I know exactly what I want. And that's where I'm going to go. Fabulous. And if it doesn't work out, it's like, Alright, doesn't matter. Yeah, there was tomorrow, but I'm not going to put myself down, because part of living and part of enjoying an aging is the experiences that we go through in life. So we need to, I personally feel that the experiences I've gone through, teach me something, have shown me something about myself, has opened up doors for me. Has you know, so I'm not going to beat myself up about going through something that didn't work. Absolutely. It's it's life. You know, accept and move on.

 

Ericka  24:40

Yes, no, my love all that. So what I hear is stillness, awareness, faith, rituals that bring you back to yourself. Not dwelling too far beyond yesterday, because that's what matters is hearing now. And if there is reflection, it's to see where growth is, not to dwell on the past, but see where the growth is, so that it can enhance the person you are today. And the more we practice that over time, we can become more efficient about what it is that we value, love and joy. And we can go to it more readily, leaving more space for more joy and fulfillment in our lives.

 

Savira  25:18

And you just said it, women communicate so well, you've said every so beautifully.

 

Ericka  25:26

All right. Thank you so much Savira, but it wouldn't be there without your words, and you're sharing it. I literally have been smiling during this entire interview. And I have chills on my body, because I think there is such ease in that right. And we just have to surrender the struggle. Be in the now, and just give ourselves the space, patience and time to love on ourselves. And the more we're willing to do that, the better life that we can create for us, and in turn gives us a glow that inspires those around us. You've done that for me today. You've done that for me for a long time now. And so it's so nice to have a conversation, so that we can inspire other women in the process. So thank you.

 

Savira  26:10

Thank you, Ericka. 

 

Ericka  26:12

Oh my, I am just tickled over here. So I have to ask you Savira, do you have any offerings are a community that more women can find out about you so that they can delve into this practice for themselves?

 

Savira  26:25

So you can follow me on Instagram. But just for the time being I have sort of stepped away from teaching for personal reasons. But you know, you can practice to my videos, which are on YouTube, as well or visit my website to listen to a number of podcasts that I've done related to yoga and you know, just general life as it is.

 

Ericka  26:54

Okay. And if you could give us that exact address to your YouTube so they can get access to your practices in your podcast. I will also go ahead and make sure it's out in the show notes so people can click on it directly as well.

 

Savira  27:07

It's Savira Gupta,

 

Ericka  27:09

Savira Gupta. G-U-P-T-A.  Alright, I love it. Okay. Savira, I have to ask you one final question. How do you define zest in your life?

 

Savira  27:23

Laughter.

 

Ericka  27:25

Love it. Ease and simplicity. You know what you want. Ah, I love it.  Laughter.  Yes. That is fantastic, laughter. Well, I am going to hold on to that one. I really enjoyed this moment. I know that our listeners enjoyed it and we'll get good value from it as well. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and your time with us today. You are much appreciated.

 

Savira  27:49

Thank you so much, Ericka.

 

Ericka  27:58

I appreciate your presence and holding space for my passion of helping women rediscover the essence of who they are meant to be, so they may live their life by chosen authenticity. If you enjoyed this episode, please like, subscribe and share with someone that could use a little zest in their life today. Keep the good energy going by following me Ericka Bell on Instagram and LinkedIn app at The Zestful Movement. You're invited to sign up for our weekly newsletter that will help you become a part of ours Zesty Crew as you stay connected to the conversations. This will also allow you to gain access to some monthly special offerings created with you in mind. Go to www.TheZestfulMovement.com. Until next time, please do keep it Zesty!