{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":28.28,"endTime":32.0,"body":"Are you ready to"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":28.28,"endTime":32.0,"body":"rock and roll?"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":32.03,"endTime":40.010000000000005,"body":"Ready to rock and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":32.03,"endTime":40.010000000000005,"body":"roll? All right, love Welcome to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":40.010000000000005,"endTime":45.11,"body":"therapist unplugged. Let me say"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":40.010000000000005,"endTime":45.11,"body":"that again. Welcome to therapist"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":45.11,"endTime":48.32,"body":"unplugged. This is your host,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":45.11,"endTime":48.32,"body":"Laurie pool. No, there's nothing"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":48.32,"endTime":50.69,"body":"wrong with my voice this"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":48.32,"endTime":50.69,"body":"morning. I've been laughing with"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":50.69,"endTime":54.74,"body":"my co host, Cory Montfort before"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":50.69,"endTime":54.74,"body":"we started recording, this"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":54.74,"endTime":58.58,"body":"morning, we are launching a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":54.74,"endTime":58.58,"body":"little bit of a mini series on"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":58.58,"endTime":61.04,"body":"affairs of the heart because"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":58.58,"endTime":61.04,"body":"it's the end of February and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":61.04,"endTime":66.56,"body":"Cory, February is the month of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":61.04,"endTime":66.56,"body":"the heart. It's Valentine's Day,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":66.59,"endTime":72.5,"body":"it is Heart Health Awareness"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":66.59,"endTime":72.5,"body":"Month. And it seems to me there"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":72.5,"endTime":78.05000000000001,"body":"are a lot of clients coming in"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":72.5,"endTime":78.05000000000001,"body":"with issues about breakups and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":78.05000000000001,"endTime":84.28999999999999,"body":"dating and issues around sex,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":78.05000000000001,"endTime":84.28999999999999,"body":"and so on. So I thought today,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":84.28999999999999,"endTime":88.22,"body":"we could kick off this series"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":84.28999999999999,"endTime":88.22,"body":"talking about dating. Let's do"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":88.22,"endTime":89.03,"body":"it. Okay."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":89.06,"endTime":92.69,"body":"Yeah. I get a lot"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":89.06,"endTime":92.69,"body":"of that in my office for sure."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":92.69,"endTime":93.74,"body":"What are some of the things"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":93.74,"endTime":95.33,"body":"that come into"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":93.74,"endTime":95.33,"body":"your opposites gate? I"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":95.33,"endTime":101.21000000000001,"body":"think, you know,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":95.33,"endTime":101.21000000000001,"body":"I have a lot of single women in"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":101.21000000000001,"endTime":108.5,"body":"their 30s never been married,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":101.21000000000001,"endTime":108.5,"body":"career focused, trying to, you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":108.5,"endTime":114.29,"body":"know, find the one, you know, to"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":108.5,"endTime":114.29,"body":"start having children. But they"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":114.29,"endTime":117.47,"body":"don't want that to be the reason"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":114.29,"endTime":117.47,"body":"why they get married. And so the"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":117.47,"endTime":122.27,"body":"dating, listen, it's a lot"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":117.47,"endTime":122.27,"body":"different nowadays than I think,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":122.9,"endTime":128.36,"body":"when we were younger, dating,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":122.9,"endTime":128.36,"body":"dating is a lot online. There's"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":128.45,"endTime":135.05,"body":"a whole different set of rules"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":128.45,"endTime":135.05,"body":"that I think women and men"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":135.05,"endTime":142.28,"body":"nowadays, have to remember and"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":135.05,"endTime":142.28,"body":"follow. And then I also talk a"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":142.28,"endTime":148.28,"body":"lot with people that are dating"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":142.28,"endTime":148.28,"body":"after divorce, which is, you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":148.28,"endTime":155.12,"body":"know, complicated, especially if"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":148.28,"endTime":155.12,"body":"you have children. And there's"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":155.15,"endTime":160.88,"body":"limited time and trying to step"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":155.15,"endTime":160.88,"body":"out into a world that you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":160.88,"endTime":163.76,"body":"haven't been in in a really long"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":160.88,"endTime":163.76,"body":"time. That"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":163.76,"endTime":166.25,"body":"can feel pretty"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":163.76,"endTime":166.25,"body":"scary. Yeah. Yeah. I have"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":166.25,"endTime":170.09,"body":"friends dating in their 60s."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":166.25,"endTime":170.09,"body":"Yeah. And that's quite an"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":170.09,"endTime":173.63,"body":"adventure. Yeah. And you know,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":170.09,"endTime":173.63,"body":"what's interesting is that some"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":173.63,"endTime":177.29,"body":"of the issues that come up in"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":173.63,"endTime":177.29,"body":"your 60s are not unlike the ones"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":177.29,"endTime":179.24,"body":"that you experienced in your"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":177.29,"endTime":179.24,"body":"30s."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":179.33,"endTime":181.58,"body":"Or maybe even in"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":179.33,"endTime":181.58,"body":"your teens. Yes,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":181.609,"endTime":183.619,"body":"very much. So."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":181.609,"endTime":183.619,"body":"Yeah. Oh,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":183.62,"endTime":187.1,"body":"my God, I got"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":183.62,"endTime":187.1,"body":"ghosted. I don't understand how"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":187.1,"endTime":190.73,"body":"he just wanted to get laid."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":187.1,"endTime":190.73,"body":"Yeah. Yeah. Or I thought it was"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":190.76,"endTime":196.28,"body":"really the gentleman move for"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":190.76,"endTime":196.28,"body":"him to pick me up before date."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":196.34,"endTime":200.51,"body":"And then I realized, oh, he just"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":196.34,"endTime":200.51,"body":"wanted to make sure. He also"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":200.51,"endTime":207.65,"body":"took me home. So you know, the"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":200.51,"endTime":207.65,"body":"things maybe as older women that"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":207.65,"endTime":212.09,"body":"we think are chivalrous, we have"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":207.65,"endTime":212.09,"body":"to really kind of be on guard"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":213.14000000000001,"endTime":218.21,"body":"nowadays, that oh, this means"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":213.14000000000001,"endTime":218.21,"body":"that I'm going to have to have"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":218.21,"endTime":222.77,"body":"really good boundaries, because"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":218.21,"endTime":222.77,"body":"now he's in my home somehow."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":222.83,"endTime":229.64000000000001,"body":"Yeah. Yeah. No,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":222.83,"endTime":229.64000000000001,"body":"it's true. The, the system of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":229.64000000000001,"endTime":235.22,"body":"dating has changed profoundly."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":229.64000000000001,"endTime":235.22,"body":"In contrast to when I was"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":235.22,"endTime":239.03,"body":"growing up, and to be perfectly"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":235.22,"endTime":239.03,"body":"transparent, I don't have a lot"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":239.03,"endTime":243.08,"body":"of experience in the dating"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":239.03,"endTime":243.08,"body":"realm. Because I've spent most"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":243.08,"endTime":247.25,"body":"of my life married, right? to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":243.08,"endTime":247.25,"body":"different people, mind you. But"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":247.25,"endTime":252.89000000000001,"body":"married? Yes. So I didn't really"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":247.25,"endTime":252.89000000000001,"body":"have the opportunity to meet"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":252.89000000000001,"endTime":257.09000000000003,"body":"people through other people,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":252.89000000000001,"endTime":257.09000000000003,"body":"etc. which is the way if you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":257.09000000000003,"endTime":260.33000000000004,"body":"didn't meet someone through"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":257.09000000000003,"endTime":260.33000000000004,"body":"friends, you met them at a bar?"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":260.87,"endTime":265.90999999999997,"body":"Or inside or social? Yes."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":260.87,"endTime":265.90999999999997,"body":"Through work, it seems to me in"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":265.90999999999997,"endTime":272.15,"body":"the last 25 years anyway, as"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":265.90999999999997,"endTime":272.15,"body":"online opportunities have"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":272.15,"endTime":276.11,"body":"presented themselves and then"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":272.15,"endTime":276.11,"body":"evolved into apps and so on,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":276.59000000000003,"endTime":280.52,"body":"that the whole system of dating"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":276.59000000000003,"endTime":280.52,"body":"has changed profoundly. And it's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":280.52,"endTime":286.54999999999995,"body":"become more complicated. And the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":280.52,"endTime":286.54999999999995,"body":"rules have changed. Judgment,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":286.54999999999995,"endTime":291.38,"body":"how you judge who you're dealing"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":286.54999999999995,"endTime":291.38,"body":"with, can be a little crazy"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":291.38,"endTime":297.47,"body":"making, because of these false"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":291.38,"endTime":297.47,"body":"profiles and how people present"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":297.47,"endTime":301.94000000000005,"body":"themselves. Yeah. Can you trust"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":297.47,"endTime":301.94000000000005,"body":"your intuition? Is what they're"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":301.94000000000005,"endTime":306.65,"body":"presenting real. I think that"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":301.94000000000005,"endTime":306.65,"body":"could be really unnerving."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":307.039,"endTime":309.499,"body":"For a lot of"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":307.039,"endTime":309.499,"body":"people. Yeah. And I think you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":309.499,"endTime":317.149,"body":"know, us as some, like, when I"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":309.499,"endTime":317.149,"body":"talk with singles over 40 that"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":317.149,"endTime":321.169,"body":"have been married, you know,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":317.149,"endTime":321.169,"body":"most of their adult life and"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":321.169,"endTime":324.07899999999995,"body":"they're stepping into this new"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":321.169,"endTime":324.07899999999995,"body":"realm that, you know, I mean, 20"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":324.07899999999995,"endTime":328.21900000000005,"body":"years ago, we really weren't"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":324.07899999999995,"endTime":328.21900000000005,"body":"even on the internet, right? So"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":328.279,"endTime":331.759,"body":"Nowadays, you know, stepping"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":328.279,"endTime":331.759,"body":"into that whole world and, and"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":332.59900000000005,"endTime":335.98900000000003,"body":"being, you know, there's certain"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":332.59900000000005,"endTime":335.98900000000003,"body":"people that approach it very"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":335.98900000000003,"endTime":340.519,"body":"sincerely, which is also, you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":335.98900000000003,"endTime":340.519,"body":"know, it's, it's endearing,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":340.519,"endTime":344.029,"body":"right, where they're very"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":340.519,"endTime":344.029,"body":"vulnerable. And they, they say"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":344.029,"endTime":347.509,"body":"everything that's on their mind"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":344.029,"endTime":347.509,"body":"on these apps, they want, you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":347.509,"endTime":352.96900000000005,"body":"know, the, the viewer to know"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":347.509,"endTime":352.96900000000005,"body":"them fully. And, and sometimes"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":352.96900000000005,"endTime":357.85900000000004,"body":"it's just too much because we"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":352.96900000000005,"endTime":357.85900000000004,"body":"have to know what those apps are"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":357.85900000000004,"endTime":364.369,"body":"for. And I, I'm an advocate for"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":357.85900000000004,"endTime":364.369,"body":"less is more, if you're going to"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":364.369,"endTime":367.879,"body":"be on those apps, and, you know,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":364.369,"endTime":367.879,"body":"buy me a cup of coffee, if you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":367.879,"endTime":371.83900000000006,"body":"want to know more about me,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":367.879,"endTime":371.83900000000006,"body":"because really, it is more"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":371.83900000000006,"endTime":376.21900000000005,"body":"visual, on a lot of these apps."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":371.83900000000006,"endTime":376.21900000000005,"body":"It's, it's, it's an, it's easy"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":376.21900000000005,"endTime":380.509,"body":"to just keep swiping. And so"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":376.21900000000005,"endTime":380.509,"body":"there's also, you know, when you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":380.509,"endTime":385.93899999999996,"body":"write something in a text form,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":380.509,"endTime":385.93899999999996,"body":"how that's interpreted. And"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":386.509,"endTime":390.259,"body":"sometimes it boxes you in and so"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":386.509,"endTime":390.259,"body":"there's, it's a, it's an art"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":390.259,"endTime":398.71900000000005,"body":"form, kind of, of how to how to"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":390.259,"endTime":398.71900000000005,"body":"approach you know, getting a"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":398.71900000000005,"endTime":400.45899999999995,"body":"date with a high value person,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":401.149,"endTime":404.08900000000006,"body":"it seems to me to,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":401.149,"endTime":404.08900000000006,"body":"there may be some people who"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":404.08900000000006,"endTime":409.009,"body":"translate much better on an app,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":404.08900000000006,"endTime":409.009,"body":"or in that format than they"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":409.009,"endTime":410.899,"body":"actually do in person."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":409.009,"endTime":410.899,"body":"Absolutely."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":410.9,"endTime":413.21000000000004,"body":"And then you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":410.9,"endTime":413.21000000000004,"body":"have, of course, all these, the"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":413.21000000000004,"endTime":416.69000000000005,"body":"filters and the way, you know,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":413.21000000000004,"endTime":416.69000000000005,"body":"the angles, and of course, the"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":416.69000000000005,"endTime":422.21000000000004,"body":"way we want to be we the way we"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":416.69000000000005,"endTime":422.21000000000004,"body":"want to be seen, as you know,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":422.24,"endTime":426.40999999999997,"body":"the most attractive, the the"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":422.24,"endTime":426.40999999999997,"body":"most outgoing, fun successful,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":426.79999999999995,"endTime":433.37,"body":"we were putting out there, you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":426.79999999999995,"endTime":433.37,"body":"know, our best face. And not"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":433.37,"endTime":435.77,"body":"that there's much wrong with"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":433.37,"endTime":435.77,"body":"that. But I also encourage"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":435.77,"endTime":438.67999999999995,"body":"people to, to be more of"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":435.77,"endTime":438.67999999999995,"body":"themselves. Because at the end"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":438.67999999999995,"endTime":441.32000000000005,"body":"of the day, when you go out on"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":438.67999999999995,"endTime":441.32000000000005,"body":"the date, and you get to know"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":441.32000000000005,"endTime":447.79999999999995,"body":"someone, it's you know, the long"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":441.32000000000005,"endTime":447.79999999999995,"body":"game is for them to see you and"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":447.79999999999995,"endTime":452.80999999999995,"body":"know you for you, not this"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":447.79999999999995,"endTime":452.80999999999995,"body":"version of you that you want to"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":452.80999999999995,"endTime":454.28,"body":"be swiped right on."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":454.64,"endTime":457.42999999999995,"body":"Yeah. You know,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":454.64,"endTime":457.42999999999995,"body":"it's, it's interesting. You"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":457.42999999999995,"endTime":462.28999999999996,"body":"mentioned earlier about rules."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":457.42999999999995,"endTime":462.28999999999996,"body":"And so I was speaking with a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":462.28999999999996,"endTime":466.28,"body":"young woman in her late 20s,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":462.28999999999996,"endTime":466.28,"body":"about the rules that she's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":466.28,"endTime":469.94000000000005,"body":"developed over the last several"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":466.28,"endTime":469.94000000000005,"body":"months dating, you know, through"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":469.94000000000005,"endTime":474.26,"body":"online app. So I said, Can you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":469.94000000000005,"endTime":474.26,"body":"tell me what you what are the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":474.26,"endTime":479.48,"body":"rules you've developed for"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":474.26,"endTime":479.48,"body":"yourself in all of this? And one"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":479.48,"endTime":482.87,"body":"of the things she said was to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":479.48,"endTime":482.87,"body":"plan she wants to know, like, if"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":482.87,"endTime":486.65,"body":"we're going to have a date, plan"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":482.87,"endTime":486.65,"body":"ahead. I don't want some kind of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":486.65,"endTime":489.65,"body":"spontaneous on the event. And"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":486.65,"endTime":489.65,"body":"our she said, that usually means"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":489.65,"endTime":492.38,"body":"it's a hookup. And it's not. And"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":489.65,"endTime":492.38,"body":"she said, I'm really not"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":492.38,"endTime":496.42999999999995,"body":"interested in that. So it's all"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":492.38,"endTime":496.42999999999995,"body":"about planning and planning to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":496.42999999999995,"endTime":501.20000000000005,"body":"meet in a safe space. Yes."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":496.42999999999995,"endTime":501.20000000000005,"body":"Because she had an experience"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":501.20000000000005,"endTime":507.28999999999996,"body":"once where she didn't feel safe."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":501.20000000000005,"endTime":507.28999999999996,"body":"Yes. And so she has really made"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":507.28999999999996,"endTime":511.88,"body":"sure that that that she feels"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":507.28999999999996,"endTime":511.88,"body":"comfortable and safe. She also"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":511.90999999999997,"endTime":515.51,"body":"insists that the person walks"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":511.90999999999997,"endTime":515.51,"body":"her home, she lives in a big"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":515.54,"endTime":519.23,"body":"urban area. And so it's about"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":515.54,"endTime":519.23,"body":"walking her home to make sure"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":519.23,"endTime":522.68,"body":"that she gets home safe. And"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":519.23,"endTime":522.68,"body":"she's just not left to her own"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":522.68,"endTime":527.36,"body":"devices. So when you talk about"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":522.68,"endTime":527.36,"body":"the chivalry, you know, for her,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":528.71,"endTime":532.46,"body":"you know, someone from the state"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":528.71,"endTime":532.46,"body":"living in another city, that's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":532.46,"endTime":538.1,"body":"going to be an important part"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":532.46,"endTime":538.1,"body":"for her. Yeah. She's never the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":538.1,"endTime":541.3399999999999,"body":"first one to text after a date."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":541.909,"endTime":546.019,"body":"Yeah. But you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":541.909,"endTime":546.019,"body":"know, I, personally, I kind of"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":546.019,"endTime":553.579,"body":"like that. And I think it kind"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":546.019,"endTime":553.579,"body":"of works with if you're talking"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":553.579,"endTime":563.149,"body":"about, you know, the"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":553.579,"endTime":563.149,"body":"heterosexual kind of roles, if"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":563.149,"endTime":570.3489999999999,"body":"you will. Or at least even just"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":563.149,"endTime":570.3489999999999,"body":"talking in terms of masculine"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":570.3489999999999,"endTime":573.829,"body":"and feminine energies, and what"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":570.3489999999999,"endTime":573.829,"body":"you're trying to cultivate and"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":573.829,"endTime":579.379,"body":"what you're trying to attract."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":573.829,"endTime":579.379,"body":"And I think I always tell women,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":580.159,"endTime":584.9889999999999,"body":"you need to realize that you are"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":580.159,"endTime":584.9889999999999,"body":"the prize. Because if you don't,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":585.019,"endTime":590.119,"body":"you will never be treated like"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":585.019,"endTime":590.119,"body":"one. And so if you operate like"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":590.119,"endTime":594.919,"body":"that, that you value yourself"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":590.119,"endTime":594.919,"body":"enough, that if he is"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":594.919,"endTime":599.779,"body":"interested, he will reach out."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":594.919,"endTime":599.779,"body":"He will follow up, he will ask"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":599.779,"endTime":603.199,"body":"you out again, that you value"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":599.779,"endTime":603.199,"body":"yourself enough to wait for"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":603.199,"endTime":605.119,"body":"that. And it feels amazing."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":607.25,"endTime":610.88,"body":"I love that treat"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":607.25,"endTime":610.88,"body":"yourself a surprise. Yeah. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":610.91,"endTime":612.47,"body":"view yourself as to me as"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":612.53,"endTime":615.3199999999999,"body":"a man, a man"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":612.53,"endTime":615.3199999999999,"body":"wants to be with a woman that"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":615.3199999999999,"endTime":619.49,"body":"values herself to and they will"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":615.3199999999999,"endTime":619.49,"body":"look at you as the prize if you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":620.39,"endTime":623.87,"body":"value yourself as the prize and"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":620.39,"endTime":623.87,"body":"so it's a win win. It's not just"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":623.9,"endTime":628.55,"body":"it's not just you know, just"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":623.9,"endTime":628.55,"body":"because I'm a woman, it It's"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":628.55,"endTime":630.77,"body":"because I really believe in that"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":628.55,"endTime":630.77,"body":"dynamic."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":631.61,"endTime":633.38,"body":"What about who"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":631.61,"endTime":633.38,"body":"pays on a date?"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":635.389,"endTime":640.999,"body":"You know, I'm,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":635.389,"endTime":640.999,"body":"I'm old school. So I think in"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":640.999,"endTime":645.679,"body":"the beginning it also I think, I"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":640.999,"endTime":645.679,"body":"think men really value good men"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":645.709,"endTime":650.419,"body":"really value if they're in it"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":645.709,"endTime":650.419,"body":"for the, for the long term they"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":650.419,"endTime":657.199,"body":"value taking care of and"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":650.419,"endTime":657.199,"body":"providing for a woman. And"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":657.199,"endTime":660.7389999999999,"body":"again, I know we're strictly"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":657.199,"endTime":660.7389999999999,"body":"talking about this in the in the"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":660.769,"endTime":666.889,"body":"heterosexual norm, Norm, Norm"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":660.769,"endTime":666.889,"body":"relationships. But I do think"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":668.029,"endTime":671.809,"body":"allowing someone to treat you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":668.029,"endTime":671.809,"body":"well is hard sometimes for"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":671.809,"endTime":677.2389999999999,"body":"women, because we give a lot all"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":671.809,"endTime":677.2389999999999,"body":"the time. So the benefit of"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":677.2389999999999,"endTime":682.8489999999999,"body":"having a relationship is to"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":677.2389999999999,"endTime":682.8489999999999,"body":"allow someone to pour into us."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":683.269,"endTime":687.619,"body":"And that doesn't just translate"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":683.269,"endTime":687.619,"body":"financially. But I think that is"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":687.619,"endTime":691.279,"body":"a component. And I think the"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":687.619,"endTime":691.279,"body":"longer you date, someone,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":691.309,"endTime":694.759,"body":"obviously there, there can be"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":691.309,"endTime":694.759,"body":"shared expenses. And it doesn't"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":694.759,"endTime":699.019,"body":"always have to be the man paying"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":694.759,"endTime":699.019,"body":"for everything all the time. But"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":699.259,"endTime":704.8389999999999,"body":"in the beginning, as he is"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":699.259,"endTime":704.8389999999999,"body":"courting you let yourself be"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":704.8389999999999,"endTime":708.3489999999999,"body":"taken care of as it makes them"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":704.8389999999999,"endTime":708.3489999999999,"body":"feel good, too."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":709.91,"endTime":712.64,"body":"That's true. I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":709.91,"endTime":712.64,"body":"think that's true for a lot of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":712.64,"endTime":714.7099999999999,"body":"men, depending on what the end"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":712.64,"endTime":714.7099999999999,"body":"game is."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":714.77,"endTime":717.65,"body":"Exactly. Now,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":714.77,"endTime":717.65,"body":"we've all heard the horror"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":717.65,"endTime":723.11,"body":"stories of men not getting what"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":717.65,"endTime":723.11,"body":"they want, and then they want to"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":723.11,"endTime":725.81,"body":"split the check or something"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":723.11,"endTime":725.81,"body":"like that. And so if you don't"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":725.81,"endTime":732.05,"body":"feel like it, it means that you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":725.81,"endTime":732.05,"body":"owe them something. Well, first"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":732.05,"endTime":736.0699999999999,"body":"of all, you don't, no matter"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":732.05,"endTime":736.0699999999999,"body":"what they say. But I know a lot"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":736.0699999999999,"endTime":741.86,"body":"of women will try to, you know,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":736.0699999999999,"endTime":741.86,"body":"make sure that everything's"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":741.89,"endTime":746.9,"body":"equal. So they don't feel"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":741.89,"endTime":746.9,"body":"pressured into owing them"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":747.11,"endTime":751.28,"body":"something that they're not"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":747.11,"endTime":751.28,"body":"prepared to give them. But I"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":751.28,"endTime":756.89,"body":"say, just let them, let them"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":751.28,"endTime":756.89,"body":"think that let them think that"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":756.89,"endTime":759.4399999999999,"body":"that doesn't mean they're gonna"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":756.89,"endTime":759.4399999999999,"body":"get it, but let them take care"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":759.4399999999999,"endTime":767.51,"body":"of you. Don't try to just just"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":759.4399999999999,"endTime":767.51,"body":"prevent any feelings of once you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":767.51,"endTime":770.9599999999999,"body":"notice that the guy is"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":767.51,"endTime":770.9599999999999,"body":"uncomfortable because he didn't"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":770.9599999999999,"endTime":773.51,"body":"get what he wants, then you can"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":770.9599999999999,"endTime":773.51,"body":"end it."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":773.93,"endTime":776.36,"body":"Right. Well, and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":773.93,"endTime":776.36,"body":"that brings me to the next"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":776.36,"endTime":781.5799999999999,"body":"question about sex. Do you have"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":776.36,"endTime":781.5799999999999,"body":"sex on the first date? Do you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":781.5799999999999,"endTime":787.16,"body":"wait it out? When When do you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":781.5799999999999,"endTime":787.16,"body":"have sex? And I wonder if that"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":787.16,"endTime":791.66,"body":"isn't a question that many women"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":787.16,"endTime":791.66,"body":"struggle with? Because there are"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":791.66,"endTime":795.0799999999999,"body":"men, for example, who were that"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":791.66,"endTime":795.0799999999999,"body":"very scenario you've just"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":795.0799999999999,"endTime":800.75,"body":"described happens that when"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":795.0799999999999,"endTime":800.75,"body":"there isn't sex, and I, a friend"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":800.75,"endTime":806.3299999999999,"body":"of mine went through that were"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":800.75,"endTime":806.3299999999999,"body":"the gentleman who I use that"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":806.3299999999999,"endTime":811.61,"body":"term loosely now, in retrospect,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":806.3299999999999,"endTime":811.61,"body":"after several dates, I thought"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":811.61,"endTime":815.81,"body":"that because she invited him for"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":811.61,"endTime":815.81,"body":"dinner that that that was an"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":815.81,"endTime":820.5799999999999,"body":"open door for sex, right, like"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":815.81,"endTime":820.5799999999999,"body":"in her house media. Yeah. And"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":820.67,"endTime":823.97,"body":"for in her head, it was not"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":820.67,"endTime":823.97,"body":"correct. And he was quite"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":823.97,"endTime":828.26,"body":"offended. Right. And so that"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":823.97,"endTime":828.26,"body":"ended there. I mean, that was"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":828.26,"endTime":831.77,"body":"the end of it, of course, you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":828.26,"endTime":831.77,"body":"know, amongst other things, but"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":832.1899999999999,"endTime":837.3199999999999,"body":"I'm just wondering about, you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":832.1899999999999,"endTime":837.3199999999999,"body":"know, how does one discern when"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":837.3199999999999,"endTime":841.4,"body":"it's time for? Do you listen to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":837.3199999999999,"endTime":841.4,"body":"your inner GPS, when you are"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":841.4,"endTime":844.55,"body":"comfortable? For Are there"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":841.4,"endTime":844.55,"body":"rules, like for some of them,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":844.55,"endTime":847.31,"body":"and there's rules. One of the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":844.55,"endTime":847.31,"body":"things that this young woman"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":847.31,"endTime":850.8199999999999,"body":"said was, you know, the question"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":847.31,"endTime":850.8199999999999,"body":"about sex is if I have no"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":850.8199999999999,"endTime":853.73,"body":"attachment to the outcome, in"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":850.8199999999999,"endTime":853.73,"body":"other words, I'm not I don't"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":853.73,"endTime":857.0899999999999,"body":"care if this bizarre long"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":853.73,"endTime":857.0899999999999,"body":"distance story of a long term"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":857.0899999999999,"endTime":862.61,"body":"relationship, then there's,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":857.0899999999999,"endTime":862.61,"body":"there's no, there's no skin in"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":862.61,"endTime":866.6899999999999,"body":"the game. Right? Right. But if"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":862.61,"endTime":866.6899999999999,"body":"it's, but if it's someone I'm"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":866.6899999999999,"endTime":871.73,"body":"genuinely interested in, I will"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":866.6899999999999,"endTime":871.73,"body":"be very discerning. Yes. Hello."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":871.79,"endTime":873.9499999999999,"body":"Yes. Wait, yes, to see where"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":871.79,"endTime":873.9499999999999,"body":"things"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":873.9499999999999,"endTime":877.25,"body":"are. That's"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":873.9499999999999,"endTime":877.25,"body":"really wise advice. Because, you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":877.25,"endTime":880.55,"body":"know, first of all, it should"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":877.25,"endTime":880.55,"body":"always be something that you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":880.55,"endTime":884.48,"body":"want to do. So that's just rule"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":880.55,"endTime":884.48,"body":"number one, right? It shouldn't"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":884.48,"endTime":887.54,"body":"be something that you feel like"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":884.48,"endTime":887.54,"body":"well, it's been three dates and"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":887.54,"endTime":889.1,"body":"he's gonna break up with me if I"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":887.54,"endTime":889.1,"body":"don't,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":889.129,"endTime":891.2289999999999,"body":"right. He's bought"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":889.129,"endTime":891.2289999999999,"body":"me dinner four times."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":891.68,"endTime":895.85,"body":"Exactly. You know"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":891.68,"endTime":895.85,"body":"the the pressure to do it is not"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":895.85,"endTime":899.4499999999999,"body":"a reason to do it. No matter how"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":895.85,"endTime":899.4499999999999,"body":"long you've been going out or"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":899.4499999999999,"endTime":904.97,"body":"what he's done for you. You"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":899.4499999999999,"endTime":904.97,"body":"should you know, if it's not"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":904.97,"endTime":909.05,"body":"something you want after, you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":904.97,"endTime":909.05,"body":"know a certain length of time"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":909.05,"endTime":913.3399999999999,"body":"you have to question if this is"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":909.05,"endTime":913.3399999999999,"body":"a good relationship for you. But"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":914.0,"endTime":918.65,"body":"I like her way of thinking which"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":914.0,"endTime":918.65,"body":"is listen, you know, if you want"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":918.65,"endTime":922.9399999999999,"body":"to have sex and you value"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":918.65,"endTime":922.9399999999999,"body":"yourself, and this is something"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":922.9399999999999,"endTime":925.31,"body":"that you just want to if you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":922.9399999999999,"endTime":925.31,"body":"want to do it on first date or"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":925.31,"endTime":928.43,"body":"one night stand that is"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":925.31,"endTime":928.43,"body":"completely up to you. But no But"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":928.43,"endTime":935.15,"body":"that probably isn't going to"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":928.43,"endTime":935.15,"body":"turn into a mean, a long term"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":935.15,"endTime":939.5,"body":"relationship, I think, getting"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":935.15,"endTime":939.5,"body":"to know someone and again,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":939.74,"endTime":946.1,"body":"making sure they understand your"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":939.74,"endTime":946.1,"body":"worth and your value. Because if"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":946.1,"endTime":951.17,"body":"you are in it for the long term,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":946.1,"endTime":951.17,"body":"I think waiting a bit to be that"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":951.17,"endTime":956.2099999999999,"body":"vulnerable and letting someone"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":951.17,"endTime":956.2099999999999,"body":"actually into you, at that level"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":956.42,"endTime":962.18,"body":"is respecting yourself, right."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":956.42,"endTime":962.18,"body":"And what you offer"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":962.2099999999999,"endTime":965.63,"body":"because it's a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":962.2099999999999,"endTime":965.63,"body":"lot. It's a lot, the exactly. I,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":965.66,"endTime":970.13,"body":"you know, I think to myself,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":965.66,"endTime":970.13,"body":"frequently, dating today feels"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":970.13,"endTime":976.88,"body":"very complicated and uncertain."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":970.13,"endTime":976.88,"body":"And there are many people who"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":977.36,"endTime":981.77,"body":"become addicted to the chase"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":977.36,"endTime":981.77,"body":"through these apps. Yes, they"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":981.77,"endTime":985.67,"body":"get addicted to the feedback"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":981.77,"endTime":985.67,"body":"that somebody swiped me. It's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":985.67,"endTime":992.06,"body":"the chase, but it's not really"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":985.67,"endTime":992.06,"body":"about D evolving relationships."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":992.06,"endTime":993.5,"body":"It's like the whole Yeah, it's"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":993.5,"endTime":996.17,"body":"nice pursuit,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":993.5,"endTime":996.17,"body":"right? It's not about like"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":996.17,"endTime":1002.23,"body":"finding connection. So they're"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":996.17,"endTime":1002.23,"body":"validating their worth or their"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1002.23,"endTime":1003.5799999999999,"body":"market value. That's right,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1003.61,"endTime":1006.55,"body":"exactly. So"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1003.61,"endTime":1006.55,"body":"there's that part of it. There"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1006.55,"endTime":1011.38,"body":"is also a pattern of having an"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1006.55,"endTime":1011.38,"body":"experience where you meet"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1011.38,"endTime":1017.02,"body":"someone, and then being ghosted"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1011.38,"endTime":1017.02,"body":"and not really understanding why"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1017.62,"endTime":1022.24,"body":"this seems to come up a lot"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1017.62,"endTime":1022.24,"body":"amongst women that I work with,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1022.78,"endTime":1026.23,"body":"where they'll have an evening or"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1022.78,"endTime":1026.23,"body":"a meeting, and they'll think,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1026.23,"endTime":1031.09,"body":"gee, that really good time, say"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1026.23,"endTime":1031.09,"body":"to connect, and then they never"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1031.09,"endTime":1035.47,"body":"hear from that person. And then"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1031.09,"endTime":1035.47,"body":"the focus becomes the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1035.47,"endTime":1038.3500000000001,"body":"questioning the self doubt, what"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1035.47,"endTime":1038.3500000000001,"body":"did I do? Was there something"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1038.3500000000001,"endTime":1043.18,"body":"about me and I'll say, hey, no,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1038.3500000000001,"endTime":1043.18,"body":"listen, you know what? You"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1043.18,"endTime":1046.39,"body":"dodged a bullet? Why did the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1043.18,"endTime":1046.39,"body":"tough thing they're about, you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1046.39,"endTime":1047.1100000000001,"body":"know, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1047.95,"endTime":1051.88,"body":"you can't you I"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1047.95,"endTime":1051.88,"body":"tell women to or men, in this"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1051.88,"endTime":1056.26,"body":"case, if they've been ghosted,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1051.88,"endTime":1056.26,"body":"especially after a short period"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1056.26,"endTime":1059.47,"body":"of time, they can't reject"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1056.26,"endTime":1059.47,"body":"something they don't know."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1059.53,"endTime":1067.21,"body":"Right? So it is hard, because"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1059.53,"endTime":1067.21,"body":"all of us contend to be like"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1067.21,"endTime":1071.17,"body":"that, like, what? What was it"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1067.21,"endTime":1071.17,"body":"about me, but we don't know"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1071.17,"endTime":1074.59,"body":"what's going on in their lives."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1071.17,"endTime":1074.59,"body":"So we have now,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1074.8,"endTime":1077.1399999999999,"body":"and I think some,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1074.8,"endTime":1077.1399999999999,"body":"you know, often the default as"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1077.1399999999999,"endTime":1079.42,"body":"we ask ourselves, was it"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1077.1399999999999,"endTime":1079.42,"body":"something about me, but I love"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1079.42,"endTime":1082.78,"body":"what you just said, they can't"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1079.42,"endTime":1082.78,"body":"reject something. They are"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1082.78,"endTime":1085.21,"body":"someone they don't know. And"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1082.78,"endTime":1085.21,"body":"they don't know me, you can't"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1085.21,"endTime":1088.57,"body":"know someone after one meeting."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1085.21,"endTime":1088.57,"body":"It's impossible. Now."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1090.19,"endTime":1092.6499999999999,"body":"The other thing I"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1090.19,"endTime":1092.6499999999999,"body":"was thinking about is for"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1092.6499999999999,"endTime":1097.84,"body":"advice, especially for women, I"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1092.6499999999999,"endTime":1097.84,"body":"guess it's easier to talk about"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1097.87,"endTime":1105.01,"body":"women because I am one. And, and"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1097.87,"endTime":1105.01,"body":"I have I have, you know, been"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1105.04,"endTime":1109.51,"body":"dating, after divorce and stuff"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1105.04,"endTime":1109.51,"body":"like that. So I've been on these"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1109.51,"endTime":1113.5,"body":"apps. And I've, I've had some"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1109.51,"endTime":1113.5,"body":"personal experience with it. But"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1113.68,"endTime":1118.33,"body":"I think it's really important"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1113.68,"endTime":1118.33,"body":"for women to be clear, up front,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1118.36,"endTime":1122.47,"body":"even before they have sex with"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1118.36,"endTime":1122.47,"body":"the person for the first time"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1123.19,"endTime":1128.32,"body":"about what their their"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1123.19,"endTime":1128.32,"body":"intentions are, and what their"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1128.32,"endTime":1133.6,"body":"boundaries are. You know, for"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1128.32,"endTime":1133.6,"body":"me, I've been, you know, in a"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1133.6,"endTime":1137.35,"body":"long term relationship now"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1133.6,"endTime":1137.35,"body":"dating a wonderful man. But when"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1137.35,"endTime":1144.52,"body":"we first decided to have sex, I"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1137.35,"endTime":1144.52,"body":"said, just so you know, you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1144.52,"endTime":1147.1,"body":"know, we haven't defined our"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1144.52,"endTime":1147.1,"body":"relationship quite yet. Because"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1147.1,"endTime":1150.04,"body":"there's that line where nobody"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1147.1,"endTime":1150.04,"body":"really wants to talk about it."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1150.04,"endTime":1152.74,"body":"You just want it to be like,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1150.04,"endTime":1152.74,"body":"Well, I think we're exclusive."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1154.51,"endTime":1160.12,"body":"But, you know, I said, I just"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1154.51,"endTime":1160.12,"body":"want you to know, when it comes"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1160.12,"endTime":1167.86,"body":"to sex, I don't share well. So"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1160.12,"endTime":1167.86,"body":"if you're not in a place where"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1167.86,"endTime":1173.47,"body":"you're ready to be sexually"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1167.86,"endTime":1173.47,"body":"monogamous, so I wasn't asking"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1173.47,"endTime":1177.22,"body":"you to define the relationship."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1173.47,"endTime":1177.22,"body":"I said, then I think we should"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1177.22,"endTime":1181.8999999999999,"body":"wait. And I think, you know, he"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1177.22,"endTime":1181.8999999999999,"body":"actually looking back on that"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1182.8,"endTime":1186.85,"body":"was, that's like, the boldest"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1182.8,"endTime":1186.85,"body":"thing a woman has ever said,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1186.85,"endTime":1191.6499999999999,"body":"because a lot of women don't"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1186.85,"endTime":1191.6499999999999,"body":"feel comfortable saying what"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1191.6499999999999,"endTime":1196.1499999999999,"body":"they need, right? Up front. They"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1191.6499999999999,"endTime":1196.1499999999999,"body":"are just really, if they liked"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1196.1499999999999,"endTime":1199.66,"body":"the guy, they just really want"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1196.1499999999999,"endTime":1199.66,"body":"to be whoever they he wants them"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1199.66,"endTime":1204.16,"body":"to be. So, you know, they'll"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1199.66,"endTime":1204.16,"body":"continue to like them. But I"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1204.16,"endTime":1207.97,"body":"think you know, that earned a"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1204.16,"endTime":1207.97,"body":"lot of respect, and it helped me"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1207.97,"endTime":1213.43,"body":"understand moving forward, at"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1207.97,"endTime":1213.43,"body":"least, we were going to be"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1213.46,"endTime":1217.99,"body":"sexually monogamous even before"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1213.46,"endTime":1217.99,"body":"we defined boyfriend and"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1217.99,"endTime":1221.8,"body":"girlfriend, and I think it's"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1217.99,"endTime":1221.8,"body":"okay to say those things more"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1221.8,"endTime":1225.82,"body":"than okay. I think it's"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1221.8,"endTime":1225.82,"body":"necessary. You know, women say"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1226.06,"endTime":1232.12,"body":"what they want Want before they"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1226.06,"endTime":1232.12,"body":"give what he wants?"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1233.23,"endTime":1236.77,"body":"It sounds to me as"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1233.23,"endTime":1236.77,"body":"though being able to say that"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1236.77,"endTime":1242.05,"body":"took a lot of introspection and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1236.77,"endTime":1242.05,"body":"self reflection, to get to that"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1242.05,"endTime":1247.24,"body":"point where you could find the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1242.05,"endTime":1247.24,"body":"words now. Because just in"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1247.24,"endTime":1252.43,"body":"sharing the that word choice"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1247.24,"endTime":1252.43,"body":"about being sexually monogamous,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1252.91,"endTime":1255.8799999999999,"body":"you know, in terms of what you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1252.91,"endTime":1255.8799999999999,"body":"wanted or needed in order to be"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1255.8799999999999,"endTime":1259.57,"body":"comfortable in the relationship."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1255.8799999999999,"endTime":1259.57,"body":"I don't think there's a lot of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1259.57,"endTime":1265.0,"body":"women, Cory, who would present"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1259.57,"endTime":1265.0,"body":"it that way. No, fully I you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1265.0,"endTime":1268.51,"body":"know, I think that's really"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1265.0,"endTime":1268.51,"body":"special. And you got there"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1268.51,"endTime":1271.24,"body":"because you were you've been"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1268.51,"endTime":1271.24,"body":"really thinking about what you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1271.24,"endTime":1275.56,"body":"needed. Yeah, I think that's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1271.24,"endTime":1275.56,"body":"great advice. And, and a really"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1275.56,"endTime":1281.26,"body":"interesting way of framing it in"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1275.56,"endTime":1281.26,"body":"terms of what we need. In order"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1281.26,"endTime":1287.68,"body":"to feel safe. Yeah. And open."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1281.26,"endTime":1287.68,"body":"Yeah, you know, but what we"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1287.68,"endTime":1293.74,"body":"need, yeah, and unapologetic."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1287.68,"endTime":1293.74,"body":"That's right. apologetic, women"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1293.74,"endTime":1298.3,"body":"often feel like, oh, I don't"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1293.74,"endTime":1298.3,"body":"know, I say this phrase. You"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1298.3,"endTime":1302.44,"body":"know, and man, we, you know,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1298.3,"endTime":1302.44,"body":"listen, it's time. It's time,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1302.47,"endTime":1306.8799999999999,"body":"it's time to stop apologizing"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1302.47,"endTime":1306.8799999999999,"body":"for what we need. That's right,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1306.8799999999999,"endTime":1310.03,"body":"and heart must be aligned. And"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1306.8799999999999,"endTime":1310.03,"body":"this is the month of the heart,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1310.84,"endTime":1315.7,"body":"head and heart in alignment. So"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1310.84,"endTime":1315.7,"body":"in our next episode, Cory, we're"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1315.7,"endTime":1320.47,"body":"going to talk about recovering"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1315.7,"endTime":1320.47,"body":"from heartbreak. Because there's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1320.47,"endTime":1324.8799999999999,"body":"a lot of broken hearts there."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1320.47,"endTime":1324.8799999999999,"body":"Yes. And I think it's important"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1324.8799999999999,"endTime":1330.61,"body":"to talk about how do you recover"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1324.8799999999999,"endTime":1330.61,"body":"from a broken heart, whether"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1330.61,"endTime":1336.04,"body":"it's through the breakup of a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1330.61,"endTime":1336.04,"body":"relationship, maybe losing a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1336.04,"endTime":1340.3,"body":"partner through illness and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1336.04,"endTime":1340.3,"body":"death? And those are different"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1340.3,"endTime":1346.42,"body":"experiences, perhaps. But the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1340.3,"endTime":1346.42,"body":"loss is the loss and grief have"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1346.42,"endTime":1351.16,"body":"a lot of similarities. Yes, yes."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1346.42,"endTime":1351.16,"body":"And I know when I have folks"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1351.16,"endTime":1355.33,"body":"coming in to see me and they're"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1351.16,"endTime":1355.33,"body":"in this recovery period, and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1355.33,"endTime":1360.1,"body":"they're just so devastated. How"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1355.33,"endTime":1360.1,"body":"long is it going to take? What"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1360.1,"endTime":1363.97,"body":"do I need to do? I just want"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1360.1,"endTime":1363.97,"body":"this pain to be over because"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1363.97,"endTime":1367.42,"body":"it's so unbearable. So I think"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1363.97,"endTime":1367.42,"body":"we need to talk about that next"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1367.42,"endTime":1367.75,"body":"time."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1367.78,"endTime":1369.91,"body":"Yeah. Well, I"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1367.78,"endTime":1369.91,"body":"look forward to that. Okay. I"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1369.91,"endTime":1372.34,"body":"always look forward to these. We"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1369.91,"endTime":1372.34,"body":"have a lot of fun."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1372.52,"endTime":1375.31,"body":"I meet you. I love"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1372.52,"endTime":1375.31,"body":"hearing about your experience"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1375.31,"endTime":1379.48,"body":"and just getting a chat about"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1375.31,"endTime":1379.48,"body":"some of these things. Yeah. So"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1380.35,"endTime":1382.8999999999999,"body":"until next time, until next"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1380.35,"endTime":1382.8999999999999,"body":"time, my friend."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1383.8899999999999,"endTime":1384.76,"body":"Take care"}]}