{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":28.609,"endTime":31.309,"body":"Cory this week's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":28.609,"endTime":31.309,"body":"episode of therapist unplugged,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":31.309,"endTime":35.389,"body":"we're going to talk about"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":31.309,"endTime":35.389,"body":"adultery and infidelity. What"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":35.389,"endTime":37.639,"body":"are your thoughts about that?"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":35.389,"endTime":37.639,"body":"Are you seeing more clients"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":37.639,"endTime":40.219,"body":"coming in with that as an issue"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":37.639,"endTime":40.219,"body":"when you're working with"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":40.219,"endTime":40.819,"body":"couples?"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":41.329,"endTime":44.479,"body":"Well, I have to"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":41.329,"endTime":44.479,"body":"say that I think I've been"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":44.479,"endTime":48.499,"body":"seeing a little less of that"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":44.479,"endTime":48.499,"body":"problem with couples. I have"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":48.499,"endTime":51.739000000000004,"body":"seen a lot of couples in the"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":48.499,"endTime":51.739000000000004,"body":"last year and a half during this"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":51.739000000000004,"endTime":55.249,"body":"pandemic, but I almost feel like"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":51.739000000000004,"endTime":55.249,"body":"the infidelity has been a little"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":55.549,"endTime":58.969,"body":"less frequent of a problem,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":55.549,"endTime":58.969,"body":"maybe because people just you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":58.969,"endTime":63.139,"body":"know, aren't going to work and"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":58.969,"endTime":63.139,"body":"getting out, you know, and the"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":63.259,"endTime":66.709,"body":"social distancing and all that"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":63.259,"endTime":66.709,"body":"stuff. But yeah, I still"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":66.709,"endTime":68.149,"body":"definitely see it as a problem."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":68.689,"endTime":70.939,"body":"You know, what's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":68.689,"endTime":70.939,"body":"interesting is that the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":70.939,"endTime":74.41900000000001,"body":"definition or what people"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":70.939,"endTime":74.41900000000001,"body":"consider to be infidelity has"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":74.41900000000001,"endTime":79.039,"body":"changed so much over the years,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":74.41900000000001,"endTime":79.039,"body":"don't you think? women in the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":79.039,"endTime":85.219,"body":"workforce, electronics, cell"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":79.039,"endTime":85.219,"body":"phones, email when when I asked"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":85.219,"endTime":90.319,"body":"couples, how did you learn about"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":85.219,"endTime":90.319,"body":"the affair? It's nine times out"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":90.319,"endTime":92.629,"body":"of 10 because of text messages"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":90.319,"endTime":92.629,"body":"and emails."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":92.69,"endTime":95.69,"body":"Oh, and that's"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":92.69,"endTime":95.69,"body":"like the worst way to find out,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":95.69,"endTime":98.72,"body":"right? Because it just kind of"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":95.69,"endTime":98.72,"body":"you can't unsee it."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":98.899,"endTime":101.68900000000001,"body":"Exactly, exactly."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":98.899,"endTime":101.68900000000001,"body":"I think the other thing, so"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":101.68900000000001,"endTime":105.859,"body":"there's that piece of it. The"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":101.68900000000001,"endTime":105.859,"body":"other thing is I think as there"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":105.859,"endTime":109.909,"body":"are more and more studies being"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":105.859,"endTime":109.909,"body":"done about infidelity is that"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":109.909,"endTime":113.929,"body":"there are different kinds of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":109.909,"endTime":113.929,"body":"infidelity now. We used to think"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":113.929,"endTime":120.199,"body":"of it as predominantly men who"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":113.929,"endTime":120.199,"body":"would have affairs or step"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":120.199,"endTime":123.619,"body":"outside their marriages and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":120.199,"endTime":123.619,"body":"relationships with coworkers."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":124.309,"endTime":125.779,"body":"That isn't true anymore."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":125.99,"endTime":129.76999999999998,"body":"Yeah. And then"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":125.99,"endTime":129.76999999999998,"body":"what is cheating, so so some"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":129.76999999999998,"endTime":134.51,"body":"people, you know, they they will"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":129.76999999999998,"endTime":134.51,"body":"see back and forth text"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":134.51,"endTime":137.6,"body":"messaging or pictures or"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":134.51,"endTime":137.6,"body":"something, and, you know, it"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":137.6,"endTime":141.17000000000002,"body":"might not have gone all the way"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":137.6,"endTime":141.17000000000002,"body":"to, you know, physical intimacy,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":141.17000000000002,"endTime":147.35,"body":"but they still feel cheated on"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":141.17000000000002,"endTime":147.35,"body":"which I get right. But yeah, you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":147.35,"endTime":149.87,"body":"know, how do you define"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":147.35,"endTime":149.87,"body":"cheating?"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":150.56,"endTime":154.1,"body":"That's a big"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":150.56,"endTime":154.1,"body":"question. I think that because"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":154.1,"endTime":160.43,"body":"of electronics to, there seems"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":154.1,"endTime":160.43,"body":"to be I'm seeing more of what"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":160.43,"endTime":164.63,"body":"people are calling emotional"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":160.43,"endTime":164.63,"body":"affairs. So there hasn't been"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":164.63,"endTime":168.59,"body":"sexual intimacy. But there is a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":164.63,"endTime":168.59,"body":"connection with another party,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":168.89000000000001,"endTime":173.87,"body":"through text messaging, through"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":168.89000000000001,"endTime":173.87,"body":"emails, through frequent phone"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":173.87,"endTime":178.55,"body":"calls. And it may even be with"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":173.87,"endTime":178.55,"body":"someone in another state. And"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":178.55,"endTime":183.23,"body":"then the partner finds out about"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":178.55,"endTime":183.23,"body":"this emotional connection. And"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":183.32,"endTime":188.09,"body":"they read the language, or they"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":183.32,"endTime":188.09,"body":"hear the exchange on a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":188.09,"endTime":193.19,"body":"voicemail. And they think, Oh,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":188.09,"endTime":193.19,"body":"my God, this, you know, my"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":193.19,"endTime":195.86,"body":"partner is involved with"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":193.19,"endTime":195.86,"body":"somebody else. Yeah, it feels"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":195.86,"endTime":200.75,"body":"very threatening, very"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":195.86,"endTime":200.75,"body":"threatening, very, the rate,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":200.84,"endTime":202.61,"body":"that sense of betrayal"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":202.79,"endTime":207.32,"body":"is really,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":202.79,"endTime":207.32,"body":"really, yeah. So So how do you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":207.38,"endTime":215.24,"body":"address that? Initially, when"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":207.38,"endTime":215.24,"body":"couples come in, and one person,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":215.45,"endTime":218.87,"body":"you know, says, I mean,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":215.45,"endTime":218.87,"body":"obviously, it's kind of a crisis"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":218.87,"endTime":222.23,"body":"situation, right? they've,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":218.87,"endTime":222.23,"body":"they've made the appointment,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":222.23,"endTime":226.34,"body":"one, one person is just, you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":222.23,"endTime":226.34,"body":"know, desperately trying to feel"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":226.34,"endTime":230.21,"body":"better. The other person as"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":226.34,"endTime":230.21,"body":"well, too, I think people forget"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":230.21,"endTime":234.29,"body":"about that, too. You know, just"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":230.21,"endTime":234.29,"body":"the the shame and guilt and"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":234.29,"endTime":239.63,"body":"fear, you know, the perpetrators"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":234.29,"endTime":239.63,"body":"side, too. So what's, what's"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":239.63,"endTime":243.38,"body":"the, what's the first thing that"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":239.63,"endTime":243.38,"body":"you ask and do?"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":244.16,"endTime":250.25,"body":"The first thing I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":244.16,"endTime":250.25,"body":"do is try to create an"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":250.25,"endTime":254.96,"body":"environment or a level of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":250.25,"endTime":254.96,"body":"safety, so that the hurt party"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":255.86,"endTime":261.65,"body":"can express what they're feeling"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":255.86,"endTime":261.65,"body":"slow things down. Because when"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":261.65,"endTime":265.22,"body":"they come in their hair's on"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":261.65,"endTime":265.22,"body":"fire, they're in a crisis mode."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":265.46000000000004,"endTime":268.90999999999997,"body":"It is this immediate, the hurt"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":265.46000000000004,"endTime":268.90999999999997,"body":"partner probably isn't eating"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":268.90999999999997,"endTime":274.49,"body":"well, isn't sleeping is full of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":268.90999999999997,"endTime":274.49,"body":"anxiety, and hyper vigilant. And"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":274.49,"endTime":279.02,"body":"they are so angry. I mean, the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":274.49,"endTime":279.02,"body":"pain gets translated into this"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":279.05,"endTime":284.87,"body":"anger. And, and so, you know,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":279.05,"endTime":284.87,"body":"we'll spend time really working"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":284.87,"endTime":289.07000000000005,"body":"through that. And what's hard"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":284.87,"endTime":289.07000000000005,"body":"for the party who has stepped"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":289.07000000000005,"endTime":293.24,"body":"out of the relationship is to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":289.07000000000005,"endTime":293.24,"body":"tolerate Yeah, expression of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":293.24,"endTime":297.83000000000004,"body":"pain, anger, betrayal, because"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":293.24,"endTime":297.83000000000004,"body":"they already feel crappy, about"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":297.83000000000004,"endTime":301.01,"body":"what happened and where there's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":297.83000000000004,"endTime":301.01,"body":"a level of shame and they just"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":301.01,"endTime":305.69000000000005,"body":"want to move through it. So"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":301.01,"endTime":305.69000000000005,"body":"everything can be okay. But the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":305.69000000000005,"endTime":309.5,"body":"irony of a situation like that,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":305.69000000000005,"endTime":309.5,"body":"Cory, is that the person who can"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":309.55999999999995,"endTime":313.73,"body":"offer the most comfort and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":309.55999999999995,"endTime":313.73,"body":"soothing is the person who"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":313.73,"endTime":315.77,"body":"stepped outside of the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":313.73,"endTime":315.77,"body":"relationship."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":315.799,"endTime":319.30899999999997,"body":"Oh, right. Right."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":315.799,"endTime":319.30899999999997,"body":"Like who do you go to when you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":319.30899999999997,"endTime":322.669,"body":"feel betrayed like that exam?"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":319.30899999999997,"endTime":322.669,"body":"Usually you go to your partner."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":322.759,"endTime":323.119,"body":"That's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":323.119,"endTime":325.429,"body":"right. That's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":323.119,"endTime":325.429,"body":"right. And the other thing,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":325.45899999999995,"endTime":329.32899999999995,"body":"there's, there's another dynamic"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":325.45899999999995,"endTime":329.32899999999995,"body":"which is the party Who is hurt?"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":329.899,"endTime":334.039,"body":"often feels even more isolated?"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":329.899,"endTime":334.039,"body":"Because who were they going to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":334.039,"endTime":338.269,"body":"tell about what's happened?"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":334.039,"endTime":338.269,"body":"Yeah, without then opening"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":338.269,"endTime":343.549,"body":"themselves to judgment by family"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":338.269,"endTime":343.549,"body":"members, by friends, because the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":343.639,"endTime":347.59900000000005,"body":"knee jerk reaction is cut it"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":343.639,"endTime":347.59900000000005,"body":"off, break the relationship, get"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":347.59900000000005,"endTime":351.70899999999995,"body":"out of the marriage, all that."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":347.59900000000005,"endTime":351.70899999999995,"body":"And it's not that simple."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":352.07000000000005,"endTime":355.30999999999995,"body":"No, and I and"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":352.07000000000005,"endTime":355.30999999999995,"body":"again, it's such a careful"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":355.30999999999995,"endTime":359.15,"body":"process is the therapist too,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":355.30999999999995,"endTime":359.15,"body":"because, like you said, you want"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":359.15,"endTime":364.88,"body":"to give the person who, you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":359.15,"endTime":364.88,"body":"know, feels betrayed and the"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":364.88,"endTime":369.53,"body":"most anxious and afraid and hurt"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":364.88,"endTime":369.53,"body":"some time to air those"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":369.53,"endTime":374.29999999999995,"body":"grievances. But as therapist, we"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":369.53,"endTime":374.29999999999995,"body":"know that it's probably more"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":374.29999999999995,"endTime":377.80999999999995,"body":"complicated than, than what"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":374.29999999999995,"endTime":377.80999999999995,"body":"meets the eye, we know that"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":377.80999999999995,"endTime":382.22,"body":"there has been possibly a"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":377.80999999999995,"endTime":382.22,"body":"disconnect in the relationship"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":382.22,"endTime":386.65999999999997,"body":"for quite some time or that, you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":382.22,"endTime":386.65999999999997,"body":"know, the communication wasn't"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":386.65999999999997,"endTime":389.96000000000004,"body":"where it needed to be. So that"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":386.65999999999997,"endTime":389.96000000000004,"body":"it didn't get to a place where"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":389.96000000000004,"endTime":397.01,"body":"there was the secret third party"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":389.96000000000004,"endTime":397.01,"body":"in the relationship. But and we"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":397.01,"endTime":402.35,"body":"also know, we don't want to set"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":397.01,"endTime":402.35,"body":"up a dynamic where the I'll call"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":402.38,"endTime":404.41999999999996,"body":"this person, the perpetrator,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":402.38,"endTime":404.41999999999996,"body":"right? The one who stepped"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":404.41999999999996,"endTime":410.99,"body":"outside of the relationship"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":404.41999999999996,"endTime":410.99,"body":"feels so guilty, or, you know,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":410.99,"endTime":415.07000000000005,"body":"so beholden to the other"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":410.99,"endTime":415.07000000000005,"body":"person's, you know, wanting to"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":415.07000000000005,"endTime":419.17999999999995,"body":"surveil them, or control"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":415.07000000000005,"endTime":419.17999999999995,"body":"everything they do so they can"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":419.17999999999995,"endTime":423.86,"body":"feel safe, or that they believe"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":419.17999999999995,"endTime":423.86,"body":"that they're sorry, that it the"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":423.86,"endTime":428.03,"body":"dynamic starts to shift in an"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":423.86,"endTime":428.03,"body":"even more unhealthy way. That's"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":428.03,"endTime":431.41999999999996,"body":"right. Oh, it's so it's, it's"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":428.03,"endTime":431.41999999999996,"body":"such a delicate process."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":431.47900000000004,"endTime":434.47900000000004,"body":"It's very"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":431.47900000000004,"endTime":434.47900000000004,"body":"difficult. And I think, over"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":434.47900000000004,"endTime":439.18899999999996,"body":"time, when and I will often say"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":434.47900000000004,"endTime":439.18899999999996,"body":"this to the party who stepped"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":439.18899999999996,"endTime":444.34900000000005,"body":"outside, if you can just hang in"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":439.18899999999996,"endTime":444.34900000000005,"body":"here with me, you are in such a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":444.34900000000005,"endTime":447.31899999999996,"body":"powerful position to offer"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":444.34900000000005,"endTime":447.31899999999996,"body":"comfort and soothing to your"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":447.31899999999996,"endTime":453.22900000000004,"body":"partner. But you also had a very"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":447.31899999999996,"endTime":453.22900000000004,"body":"different experience. And that's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":453.22900000000004,"endTime":457.249,"body":"just as important. And I really"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":453.22900000000004,"endTime":457.249,"body":"want to understand what this has"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":457.249,"endTime":462.97900000000004,"body":"been like for you. And when a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":457.249,"endTime":462.97900000000004,"body":"partner who has betrayed their"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":462.97900000000004,"endTime":469.279,"body":"spouse or their significant"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":462.97900000000004,"endTime":469.279,"body":"other can make space for the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":469.279,"endTime":475.879,"body":"pain of their partner, and also"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":469.279,"endTime":475.879,"body":"be open to their own experience"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":475.909,"endTime":479.68899999999996,"body":"of shame, and betrayal. The"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":475.909,"endTime":479.68899999999996,"body":"other part of it is if it's an"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":479.68899999999996,"endTime":485.35900000000004,"body":"emotional affair, there's often"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":479.68899999999996,"endTime":485.35900000000004,"body":"grief that Yeah, the person who"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":485.35900000000004,"endTime":488.539,"body":"has stepped outside of the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":485.35900000000004,"endTime":488.539,"body":"relationship, there is a grief"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":488.539,"endTime":494.779,"body":"and loss, that sometimes they"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":488.539,"endTime":494.779,"body":"need time to process that"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":494.80899999999997,"endTime":501.889,"body":"because that third party maybe"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":494.80899999999997,"endTime":501.889,"body":"was like an anesthetic or a salv"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":502.06899999999996,"endTime":504.34900000000005,"body":"over some of the things that"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":502.06899999999996,"endTime":504.34900000000005,"body":"were happening in the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":504.34900000000005,"endTime":508.09900000000005,"body":"relationship or in the marriage."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":504.34900000000005,"endTime":508.09900000000005,"body":"So it's complicated. There are"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":508.09900000000005,"endTime":512.899,"body":"many realities, many"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":508.09900000000005,"endTime":512.899,"body":"perspectives and truths. And,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":513.799,"endTime":518.509,"body":"you know, it takes time to work"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":513.799,"endTime":518.509,"body":"through all those different"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":518.509,"endTime":520.279,"body":"sections of recovery, I think."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":520.76,"endTime":525.02,"body":"Yeah. Esther"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":520.76,"endTime":525.02,"body":"Perel, you know, she, she's the"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":525.23,"endTime":528.92,"body":"famous author therapist, that"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":525.23,"endTime":528.92,"body":"writes about affairs in her"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":528.92,"endTime":536.51,"body":"latest book, state of affairs."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":528.92,"endTime":536.51,"body":"She, she talks about the, the"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":536.51,"endTime":540.23,"body":"person who steps outside of the"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":536.51,"endTime":540.23,"body":"relationship wasn't necessarily"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":540.23,"endTime":545.8399999999999,"body":"looking for someone else, but"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":540.23,"endTime":545.8399999999999,"body":"finding a part of themselves"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":546.26,"endTime":550.04,"body":"that they had not experienced,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":546.26,"endTime":550.04,"body":"maybe ever or certainly in a"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":550.04,"endTime":556.16,"body":"long time, so to be able to"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":550.04,"endTime":556.16,"body":"eventually talk with their"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":556.16,"endTime":561.68,"body":"spouse about what they found out"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":556.16,"endTime":561.68,"body":"about themselves through that"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":561.68,"endTime":568.85,"body":"third party. And how can they"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":561.68,"endTime":568.85,"body":"safely bring that part back to"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":568.85,"endTime":570.56,"body":"the relationship in a safe way?"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":571.8199999999999,"endTime":574.3399999999999,"body":"Yeah, and that's a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":571.8199999999999,"endTime":574.3399999999999,"body":"hard one because the party who's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":574.3399999999999,"endTime":580.4,"body":"hurt doesn't necessarily want to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":574.3399999999999,"endTime":580.4,"body":"dip in that water. Like they're"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":580.4,"endTime":585.3199999999999,"body":"curious about it because part of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":580.4,"endTime":585.3199999999999,"body":"the part of the injury in an"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":585.3199999999999,"endTime":590.4499999999999,"body":"affair and infidelity is at the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":585.3199999999999,"endTime":590.4499999999999,"body":"party who's hurt, then also"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":590.4499999999999,"endTime":595.1,"body":"starts to have a narrative or"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":590.4499999999999,"endTime":595.1,"body":"beliefs about themselves. I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":595.1,"endTime":600.0799999999999,"body":"wasn't enough Yeah, I couldn't"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":595.1,"endTime":600.0799999999999,"body":"hold their interest. I don't I'm"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":600.14,"endTime":605.99,"body":"I'm not as attractive and, and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":600.14,"endTime":605.99,"body":"so on, when in fact, often with"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":605.99,"endTime":612.26,"body":"infidelity and affairs, the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":605.99,"endTime":612.26,"body":"really the part that catches"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":612.26,"endTime":615.86,"body":"people or hooks people in is how"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":612.26,"endTime":615.86,"body":"they feel about themselves to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":615.86,"endTime":617.36,"body":"your point about Esther's book."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":617.66,"endTime":620.0,"body":"Yeah, and I know"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":617.66,"endTime":620.0,"body":"we've kind of been talking"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":620.0,"endTime":623.03,"body":"about, or at least I've caught"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":620.0,"endTime":623.03,"body":"myself talking about it in"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":623.2099999999999,"endTime":627.35,"body":"relation to the man having the"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":623.2099999999999,"endTime":627.35,"body":"affair and this and we're"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":627.35,"endTime":632.27,"body":"talking, you know, About a"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":627.35,"endTime":632.27,"body":"heterosexual couple. But we know"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":632.27,"endTime":635.6899999999999,"body":"that this happens in a variety"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":632.27,"endTime":635.6899999999999,"body":"of relationships, the types of"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":635.6899999999999,"endTime":642.3199999999999,"body":"relationships. And, you know,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":635.6899999999999,"endTime":642.3199999999999,"body":"there's also I think the stats"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":642.3199999999999,"endTime":647.39,"body":"are even that it's equal, that"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":642.3199999999999,"endTime":647.39,"body":"women also are having affairs,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":647.39,"endTime":652.91,"body":"you know, that, that it's"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":647.39,"endTime":652.91,"body":"historically been told, you know"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":652.91,"endTime":657.38,"body":"that men were having most of"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":652.91,"endTime":657.38,"body":"their but but women also are"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":657.38,"endTime":664.79,"body":"struggling with, with monogamy"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":657.38,"endTime":664.79,"body":"long term monogamy. So yeah,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":664.79,"endTime":671.2099999999999,"body":"what do you think is the"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":664.79,"endTime":671.2099999999999,"body":"difference how a wife or a"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":671.2099999999999,"endTime":678.5,"body":"husband takes like be knowledge"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":671.2099999999999,"endTime":678.5,"body":"of the affair? Do you think"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":678.5,"endTime":682.6999999999999,"body":"there's a difference between"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":678.5,"endTime":682.6999999999999,"body":"what men think about versus what"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":682.6999999999999,"endTime":683.87,"body":"women think about? That's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":683.87,"endTime":687.29,"body":"a really, really"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":683.87,"endTime":687.29,"body":"good question, Cory. And I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":687.29,"endTime":689.75,"body":"haven't thought about it too"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":687.29,"endTime":689.75,"body":"much to be honest with you."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":689.75,"endTime":693.38,"body":"Because when I have a couple"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":689.75,"endTime":693.38,"body":"sitting in front of me, I'm not"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":693.38,"endTime":697.31,"body":"thinking about male versus"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":693.38,"endTime":697.31,"body":"female necessarily, I'm thinking"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":697.31,"endTime":701.4499999999999,"body":"about what are the dynamics of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":697.31,"endTime":701.4499999999999,"body":"that couple? How are they"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":701.4499999999999,"endTime":705.89,"body":"listening to one another? Can"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":701.4499999999999,"endTime":705.89,"body":"they hold space for a partner to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":705.89,"endTime":711.89,"body":"express is the anxiety level"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":705.89,"endTime":711.89,"body":"like I've seen both men and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":711.89,"endTime":720.62,"body":"women be as hyper vigilant and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":711.89,"endTime":720.62,"body":"critical, and pursuing? based"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":720.62,"endTime":724.8199999999999,"body":"more on personality and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":720.62,"endTime":724.8199999999999,"body":"attachment style? If that makes"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":724.8199999999999,"endTime":727.16,"body":"sense as to whether they're"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":727.189,"endTime":729.799,"body":"the gender"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":727.189,"endTime":729.799,"body":"differences? Yeah, I still think"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":729.799,"endTime":734.8389999999999,"body":"there's some, and I'm certainly"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":729.799,"endTime":734.8389999999999,"body":"I know that there's outliers and"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":734.8389999999999,"endTime":740.119,"body":"stuff. But I do you think"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":734.8389999999999,"endTime":740.119,"body":"there's some differences"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":740.119,"endTime":745.309,"body":"sometimes about what men value"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":740.119,"endTime":745.309,"body":"on the whole, you know, that"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":745.309,"endTime":749.059,"body":"they they value, their status,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":745.309,"endTime":749.059,"body":"they value their performance,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":749.389,"endTime":753.439,"body":"you know, and so some of their"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":749.389,"endTime":753.439,"body":"fears when finding out that a"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":753.439,"endTime":759.259,"body":"woman has gone outside of the"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":753.439,"endTime":759.259,"body":"relationship might be some of"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":759.259,"endTime":763.189,"body":"those things rather, you know,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":759.259,"endTime":763.189,"body":"again, speaking in generalized"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":763.189,"endTime":768.949,"body":"terms, a woman might fear is,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":763.189,"endTime":768.949,"body":"you know, Am I pretty enough? Am"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":768.949,"endTime":775.4889999999999,"body":"I young enough? What, how am I"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":768.949,"endTime":775.4889999999999,"body":"inadequate? How am I not"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":775.4889999999999,"endTime":779.029,"body":"fulfilling his needs? And even"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":775.4889999999999,"endTime":779.029,"body":"what men and women want in"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":779.029,"endTime":783.259,"body":"relationships can be a little"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":779.029,"endTime":783.259,"body":"bit different, you know, where,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":783.9789999999999,"endTime":787.699,"body":"you know, how much autonomy is"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":783.9789999999999,"endTime":787.699,"body":"necessary? How much togetherness"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":787.699,"endTime":792.079,"body":"is necessary? And again, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":787.699,"endTime":792.079,"body":"to your point, I think"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":792.079,"endTime":795.4689999999999,"body":"personality has a lot to do with"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":792.079,"endTime":795.4689999999999,"body":"that, and attachment style. But"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":795.4689999999999,"endTime":801.379,"body":"I do think, you know, men and"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":795.4689999999999,"endTime":801.379,"body":"women on on the whole are, are"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":801.379,"endTime":802.8489999999999,"body":"wired a little bit differently."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":803.3299999999999,"endTime":806.36,"body":"I think, Well, I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":803.3299999999999,"endTime":806.36,"body":"think they can I think possibly,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":806.39,"endTime":808.31,"body":"I think they are wired"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":806.39,"endTime":808.31,"body":"differently. But here's the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":808.31,"endTime":811.6999999999999,"body":"other thing. It's what men"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":808.31,"endTime":811.6999999999999,"body":"express or don't express. In"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":811.6999999999999,"endTime":816.38,"body":"other words, if I'm processing"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":811.6999999999999,"endTime":816.38,"body":"with a husband, for example,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":816.38,"endTime":821.9599999999999,"body":"whose wife has had an affair,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":816.38,"endTime":821.9599999999999,"body":"it's very hard. I think for a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":821.9599999999999,"endTime":826.4599999999999,"body":"lot of men to talk about the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":821.9599999999999,"endTime":826.4599999999999,"body":"vulnerability. Yes. And feeling"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":826.76,"endTime":829.4,"body":"less of, or not enough."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":829.43,"endTime":832.9399999999999,"body":"Yeah, they go to"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":829.43,"endTime":832.9399999999999,"body":"anger, right? Yeah. It's, it's"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":832.9399999999999,"endTime":836.6899999999999,"body":"harder for them to maybe, again,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":832.9399999999999,"endTime":836.6899999999999,"body":"I know we're generalizing. But"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":836.6899999999999,"endTime":839.39,"body":"it's harder for them maybe to"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":836.6899999999999,"endTime":839.39,"body":"break down and cry and say, I'm"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":839.39,"endTime":843.74,"body":"so afraid. Yeah. Right. Whereas"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":839.39,"endTime":843.74,"body":"I might see that more from a"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":843.74,"endTime":849.05,"body":"female, and then men will just"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":843.74,"endTime":849.05,"body":"be I'm so angry. How do I you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":849.05,"endTime":850.55,"body":"know, how do I fix this? Yeah."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":851.63,"endTime":853.9399999999999,"body":"I think the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":851.63,"endTime":853.9399999999999,"body":"anxiety I think, though, I think"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":853.97,"endTime":858.26,"body":"often men's reaction to the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":853.97,"endTime":858.26,"body":"pain, the anxiety, the not"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":858.26,"endTime":863.4499999999999,"body":"knowing where they stand, the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":858.26,"endTime":863.4499999999999,"body":"fear, is their their reaction to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":863.4499999999999,"endTime":867.62,"body":"those emotions is anger. But"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":863.4499999999999,"endTime":867.62,"body":"their brain gets hijacked,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":867.62,"endTime":871.6999999999999,"body":"right? It's like the amygdala"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":867.62,"endTime":871.6999999999999,"body":"kicks in, we know that when a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":871.6999999999999,"endTime":874.73,"body":"primary relationship is"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":871.6999999999999,"endTime":874.73,"body":"threatened, meaning we could"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":874.73,"endTime":878.66,"body":"potentially lose that partner."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":874.73,"endTime":878.66,"body":"It's like our brain short"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":878.66,"endTime":882.4399999999999,"body":"circuits, and you go into this"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":878.66,"endTime":882.4399999999999,"body":"fear mode. And so the hyper"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":882.4399999999999,"endTime":887.12,"body":"vigilance kicks in. And I think,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":882.4399999999999,"endTime":887.12,"body":"honestly, in the couples that"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":887.12,"endTime":892.67,"body":"I've worked with, I can see both"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":887.12,"endTime":892.67,"body":"of those trends happening in the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":892.67,"endTime":896.3,"body":"relationship, but with men, it"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":892.67,"endTime":896.3,"body":"may be expressed differently."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":896.66,"endTime":900.11,"body":"Yeah, yeah. You"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":896.66,"endTime":900.11,"body":"know, you know, because anger is"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":900.11,"endTime":903.8299999999999,"body":"more acceptable than then"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":900.11,"endTime":903.8299999999999,"body":"vulnerabilities, right?"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":904.04,"endTime":906.8,"body":"That's right. And"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":904.04,"endTime":906.8,"body":"actually in their vulnerability,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":906.8,"endTime":910.4,"body":"it's so interesting, because"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":906.8,"endTime":910.4,"body":"when, when I'm working with a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":910.4,"endTime":914.93,"body":"couple and you know, I'm really"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":910.4,"endTime":914.93,"body":"like, trying to coax some of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":914.93,"endTime":921.1999999999999,"body":"that, man, this must be so hard."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":914.93,"endTime":921.1999999999999,"body":"When you think about what did I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":921.1999999999999,"endTime":926.78,"body":"have? Why couldn't I make her"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":921.1999999999999,"endTime":926.78,"body":"happy like she is with him. That"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":928.28,"endTime":931.6999999999999,"body":"In that vulnerability when they"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":928.28,"endTime":931.6999999999999,"body":"talk about their fear of losing"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":931.6999999999999,"endTime":936.4399999999999,"body":"their partner, like, often their"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":931.6999999999999,"endTime":936.4399999999999,"body":"wives will be just oh my God,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":936.4399999999999,"endTime":941.78,"body":"I've waited so long to hear"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":936.4399999999999,"endTime":941.78,"body":"something like, you know. And so"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":942.17,"endTime":945.8299999999999,"body":"I think in that regard,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":942.17,"endTime":945.8299999999999,"body":"sometimes the healing through"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":945.8299999999999,"endTime":949.01,"body":"not sometimes often. Yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":945.8299999999999,"endTime":949.01,"body":"think that the healing through"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":949.01,"endTime":952.1899999999999,"body":"infidelity helps couples to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":949.01,"endTime":952.1899999999999,"body":"create a second marriage with"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":952.1899999999999,"endTime":952.5799999999999,"body":"the same"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":952.61,"endTime":955.55,"body":"person. Yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":952.61,"endTime":955.55,"body":"say that a lot. I say, you know,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":955.61,"endTime":961.88,"body":"your first marriage is over."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":955.61,"endTime":961.88,"body":"Yes. And and this is a part of"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":961.91,"endTime":966.7099999999999,"body":"the quilt that you are making"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":961.91,"endTime":966.7099999999999,"body":"together. Yeah. And I think a"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":966.7099999999999,"endTime":971.0,"body":"lot of growth I mean, even in"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":966.7099999999999,"endTime":971.0,"body":"nature happens in the valley."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":971.27,"endTime":974.93,"body":"Yeah. Right. Yeah. So this is"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":971.27,"endTime":974.93,"body":"the lowest point, but this is"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":974.93,"endTime":979.25,"body":"where the growth happens. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":974.93,"endTime":979.25,"body":"And so they're, you know, just"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":979.25,"endTime":988.28,"body":"to encourage them to, to look"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":979.25,"endTime":988.28,"body":"at, sometimes pain can create"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":988.28,"endTime":992.75,"body":"this awareness that needed to be"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":988.28,"endTime":992.75,"body":"addressed, these problems needed"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":992.75,"endTime":997.76,"body":"to be addressed. And so when,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":992.75,"endTime":997.76,"body":"again, when you when you can"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":997.76,"endTime":1001.99,"body":"give the, the hurt person a"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":997.76,"endTime":1001.99,"body":"little bit of time to process"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1001.99,"endTime":1005.38,"body":"their anger and kind of hold the"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1001.99,"endTime":1005.38,"body":"one who stepped outside the"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1005.38,"endTime":1008.26,"body":"marriage to say, okay, just be a"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1005.38,"endTime":1008.26,"body":"little patient. Yeah, you know,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1008.29,"endTime":1013.6,"body":"yeah, give us a give us give us"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1008.29,"endTime":1013.6,"body":"a minute, to allow your partner"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1013.9599999999999,"endTime":1018.79,"body":"to, to grieve. I think, then"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1013.9599999999999,"endTime":1018.79,"body":"that's when you can start to"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1018.79,"endTime":1022.5699999999999,"body":"step forward and begin to"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1018.79,"endTime":1022.5699999999999,"body":"understand, you know, what is"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1022.5699999999999,"endTime":1026.05,"body":"possible, and I ended? That's a,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1022.5699999999999,"endTime":1026.05,"body":"that's a great next question,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1026.05,"endTime":1032.2,"body":"too, is just what our"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1026.05,"endTime":1032.2,"body":"expectations for marriage, you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1032.2,"endTime":1036.25,"body":"know, what is it supposed to do"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1032.2,"endTime":1036.25,"body":"for you long term? And I think"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1036.25,"endTime":1040.0,"body":"our expectations over time have"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1036.25,"endTime":1040.0,"body":"risen, right? Oh, my gosh,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1040.03,"endTime":1043.81,"body":"right. where, you know, back,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1040.03,"endTime":1043.81,"body":"back, you know, the beginning"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1043.81,"endTime":1048.6100000000001,"body":"of, of, maybe 100 years ago, or"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1043.81,"endTime":1048.6100000000001,"body":"whatever it was about"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1048.6100000000001,"endTime":1052.3899999999999,"body":"practicality and economics,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1048.6100000000001,"endTime":1052.3899999999999,"body":"correct? Yeah, it made sense."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1052.72,"endTime":1057.43,"body":"And they were kind of rigid"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1052.72,"endTime":1057.43,"body":"gender roles. And so you have"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1057.46,"endTime":1061.51,"body":"people that stayed married for a"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1057.46,"endTime":1061.51,"body":"really long time. Yet, if you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1061.51,"endTime":1065.2,"body":"rated their satisfaction or"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1061.51,"endTime":1065.2,"body":"happiness, they would say me,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1065.5,"endTime":1065.6499999999999,"body":"you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1065.6499999999999,"endTime":1068.6499999999999,"body":"know, can I can I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1065.6499999999999,"endTime":1068.6499999999999,"body":"just raise a point that really"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1068.6499999999999,"endTime":1075.19,"body":"bugs me? Yeah. This idea that"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1068.6499999999999,"endTime":1075.19,"body":"when we get married to someone,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1075.25,"endTime":1079.45,"body":"or that when we choose to marry,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1075.25,"endTime":1079.45,"body":"we find a partner, that they are"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1079.57,"endTime":1085.0,"body":"our everything. Yeah. And our"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1079.57,"endTime":1085.0,"body":"soulmate, and all these romantic"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1085.0,"endTime":1089.53,"body":"motions, it's so much crap, a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1085.0,"endTime":1089.53,"body":"lot of pressure a lot to put on"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1089.53,"endTime":1093.61,"body":"a partner. Yep, that they have"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1089.53,"endTime":1093.61,"body":"to be everything down to meet"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1093.61,"endTime":1097.33,"body":"all your needs. As a solid"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1093.61,"endTime":1097.33,"body":"marriage, a healthy marriage"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1097.33,"endTime":1100.6299999999999,"body":"should be like a Venn diagram,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1097.33,"endTime":1100.6299999999999,"body":"right? You have the parts that"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1100.6299999999999,"endTime":1104.26,"body":"overlap, where you win together,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1100.6299999999999,"endTime":1104.26,"body":"but you also have individual"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1104.26,"endTime":1108.07,"body":"autonomy, you need different"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1104.26,"endTime":1108.07,"body":"kinds of people in your life."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1108.1299999999999,"endTime":1111.16,"body":"Yeah, for sure,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1108.1299999999999,"endTime":1111.16,"body":"I've heard. So I kind of"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1111.8799999999999,"endTime":1115.8999999999999,"body":"subscribe to a hybrid of that."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1111.8799999999999,"endTime":1115.8999999999999,"body":"So I've heard, you know, mazars"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1115.8999999999999,"endTime":1119.2,"body":"hierarchy of needs. So you have"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1115.8999999999999,"endTime":1119.2,"body":"like food, water shelter at the"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1119.2,"endTime":1123.52,"body":"bottom of the pyramid. And then,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1119.2,"endTime":1123.52,"body":"you know, creating meaning as"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1123.52,"endTime":1127.36,"body":"the very top of the pyramid. And"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1123.52,"endTime":1127.36,"body":"so what we this definition of"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1127.36,"endTime":1130.99,"body":"marriage has changed over time"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1127.36,"endTime":1130.99,"body":"towards extremely practical at"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1130.99,"endTime":1135.85,"body":"the beginning, where, you know,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1130.99,"endTime":1135.85,"body":"it was just for financial or,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1136.09,"endTime":1141.94,"body":"you know, political security."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1136.09,"endTime":1141.94,"body":"And that was just the baseline"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1141.94,"endTime":1144.6399999999999,"body":"of Maslow's hierarchy of needs."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1141.94,"endTime":1144.6399999999999,"body":"But it wasn't very satisfactory,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1144.6399999999999,"endTime":1147.85,"body":"right. So we've moved to this"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1144.6399999999999,"endTime":1147.85,"body":"place where I think it can be"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1148.0,"endTime":1152.32,"body":"extremely powerful and amazing,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1148.0,"endTime":1152.32,"body":"at the top of the pyramid, which"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1152.32,"endTime":1157.96,"body":"is to create meaning and to be"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1152.32,"endTime":1157.96,"body":"fulfilled. But so I like that"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1157.96,"endTime":1162.25,"body":"the expectations have risen over"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1157.96,"endTime":1162.25,"body":"time. But now to the point where"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1162.67,"endTime":1166.3,"body":"there is no room for other"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1162.67,"endTime":1166.3,"body":"people or other kinds of"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1166.3,"endTime":1171.07,"body":"relationships, or even to"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1166.3,"endTime":1171.07,"body":"process your own your own"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1171.07,"endTime":1176.02,"body":"anxiety or sadness that would"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1171.07,"endTime":1176.02,"body":"exist within or without that"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1176.02,"endTime":1179.11,"body":"relationship. Yeah, you know,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1176.02,"endTime":1179.11,"body":"but it's easy to point to"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1179.11,"endTime":1182.11,"body":"someone, when you're in a"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1179.11,"endTime":1182.11,"body":"relationship and say, That's why"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1182.11,"endTime":1186.37,"body":"I'm unhappy, or that's why I'm"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1182.11,"endTime":1186.37,"body":"bored, or that's why I'm stuck."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1186.3999999999999,"endTime":1191.08,"body":"Yeah. And so really, again,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1186.3999999999999,"endTime":1191.08,"body":"going to how important just to"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1191.08,"endTime":1194.8,"body":"having a therapist over the"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1191.08,"endTime":1194.8,"body":"course of your life can be is,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1194.98,"endTime":1200.17,"body":"is this something that my"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1194.98,"endTime":1200.17,"body":"partner, is the correct audience"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1200.17,"endTime":1205.6,"body":"for? Is this something that my"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1200.17,"endTime":1205.6,"body":"partner can help me with? Or is"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1205.6,"endTime":1209.77,"body":"this an expectation that may be"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1205.6,"endTime":1209.77,"body":"too high for a relationship to"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1209.77,"endTime":1210.67,"body":"solve? You know,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1211.48,"endTime":1213.85,"body":"I think the other"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1211.48,"endTime":1213.85,"body":"I hear what you're saying, I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1213.85,"endTime":1218.5,"body":"think the other part of it too,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1213.85,"endTime":1218.5,"body":"though, is what are the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1218.5,"endTime":1222.58,"body":"qualities or the characteristics"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1218.5,"endTime":1222.58,"body":"of couples who have safe secure"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1222.58,"endTime":1229.12,"body":"adult attachment and the end,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1222.58,"endTime":1229.12,"body":"you know, we're wired for"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1229.12,"endTime":1235.24,"body":"connection that is as important"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1229.12,"endTime":1235.24,"body":"as the food, the shelter. All of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1235.24,"endTime":1239.95,"body":"that is we need to be connected"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1235.24,"endTime":1239.95,"body":"to people, we are human beings."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1239.95,"endTime":1243.22,"body":"That's what that's what"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1239.95,"endTime":1243.22,"body":"contributes to us being unique."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1243.94,"endTime":1248.83,"body":"And so I think that in a safe,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1243.94,"endTime":1248.83,"body":"secure adult attachment, if I'm"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1248.83,"endTime":1255.37,"body":"looking at it through that lens"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1248.83,"endTime":1255.37,"body":"is one where you feel that you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1255.37,"endTime":1259.06,"body":"trust that when you reach for"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1255.37,"endTime":1259.06,"body":"your partner, they will respond,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1259.36,"endTime":1262.1499999999999,"body":"that you can go to them and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1259.36,"endTime":1262.1499999999999,"body":"vulnerability and know you're"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1262.1499999999999,"endTime":1265.93,"body":"going to be emotionally safe,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1262.1499999999999,"endTime":1265.93,"body":"that they've got your back that"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1265.93,"endTime":1269.74,"body":"you can stand shoulder to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1265.93,"endTime":1269.74,"body":"shoulder even if you disagree."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1269.8,"endTime":1274.27,"body":"Yeah. All right, that to me,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1269.8,"endTime":1274.27,"body":"from, you know, sort of my"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1274.27,"endTime":1277.3,"body":"orientation and so on. That's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1274.27,"endTime":1277.3,"body":"what I work towards with"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1277.45,"endTime":1282.49,"body":"clients, so that they are secure"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1277.45,"endTime":1282.49,"body":"in the relationship without"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1282.49,"endTime":1285.76,"body":"pointing to well, but you didn't"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1282.49,"endTime":1285.76,"body":"do this. And you didn't do that."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1285.79,"endTime":1288.58,"body":"Yeah, because we need different"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1285.79,"endTime":1288.58,"body":"kinds of people in"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1288.58,"endTime":1291.3999999999999,"body":"our lives. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1288.58,"endTime":1291.3999999999999,"body":"So that, again, coming to that"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1291.46,"endTime":1299.1399999999999,"body":"balance of autonomy, which is"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1291.46,"endTime":1299.1399999999999,"body":"also extremely important to us"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1299.1399999999999,"endTime":1304.66,"body":"as individuals, right. And also,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1299.1399999999999,"endTime":1304.66,"body":"that connection. And, and"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1304.66,"endTime":1308.44,"body":"sometimes you're gonna need more"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1304.66,"endTime":1308.44,"body":"connection than your partner."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1308.59,"endTime":1312.7,"body":"That's right. You know, and so"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1308.59,"endTime":1312.7,"body":"to understand on the whole and"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1312.7,"endTime":1317.6499999999999,"body":"give grace, I think it's really"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1312.7,"endTime":1317.6499999999999,"body":"important. This topic is,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1317.8899999999999,"endTime":1319.81,"body":"obviously we could talk about"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1317.8899999999999,"endTime":1319.81,"body":"this a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1319.96,"endTime":1322.78,"body":"long time, we'll"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1319.96,"endTime":1322.78,"body":"episode we will on this topic,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1322.78,"endTime":1324.94,"body":"and we'll certainly come back to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1322.78,"endTime":1324.94,"body":"it. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1324.97,"endTime":1329.26,"body":"yeah. No, but"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1324.97,"endTime":1329.26,"body":"this is a great start. And, you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1329.26,"endTime":1333.7,"body":"know, maybe and I definitely"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1329.26,"endTime":1333.7,"body":"think there's so many different"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1333.7,"endTime":1339.22,"body":"kinds of relationships that we"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1333.7,"endTime":1339.22,"body":"can talk about, as far as"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1339.46,"endTime":1344.29,"body":"intimacy, and you know, it's not"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1339.46,"endTime":1344.29,"body":"just sexual intimacy, you know,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1344.59,"endTime":1345.91,"body":"so I look forward to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1345.91,"endTime":1349.42,"body":"it. Yeah, me too."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1345.91,"endTime":1349.42,"body":"emotional intimacy, open"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1349.42,"endTime":1350.71,"body":"relationships."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1353.26,"endTime":1354.58,"body":"Same sex"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1353.26,"endTime":1354.58,"body":"relationship."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1354.61,"endTime":1356.98,"body":"Yes. Yes. Yes."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1354.61,"endTime":1356.98,"body":"Yes."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1357.01,"endTime":1359.17,"body":"All of it. family"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1357.01,"endTime":1359.17,"body":"of origin. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1359.41,"endTime":1360.7,"body":"Yeah. Parents"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1359.41,"endTime":1360.7,"body":"children."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1360.82,"endTime":1364.48,"body":"Yes. Really"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1360.82,"endTime":1364.48,"body":"speaking. Speaking of Yes. Who"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1364.48,"endTime":1365.53,"body":"are you going to visit? I'm"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1365.53,"endTime":1368.56,"body":"going to I'm going"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1365.53,"endTime":1368.56,"body":"I'm going home to Montreal for"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1368.56,"endTime":1371.86,"body":"10 days. I'm waiting for the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1368.56,"endTime":1371.86,"body":"arrival of a little"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1371.86,"endTime":1373.84,"body":"granddaughter? Oh,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1374.5,"endTime":1377.5,"body":"well, I'm sure"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1374.5,"endTime":1377.5,"body":"we'll, we'll get to hear all"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1377.5,"endTime":1381.3999999999999,"body":"about it. But yeah, thanks for"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1377.5,"endTime":1381.3999999999999,"body":"beginning this conversation. And"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1382.03,"endTime":1386.26,"body":"I look forward to hearing"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1382.03,"endTime":1386.26,"body":"hearing more about it from other"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1386.26,"endTime":1392.23,"body":"special guests that you have."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1386.26,"endTime":1392.23,"body":"And, you know, and if, if any of"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1392.23,"endTime":1395.68,"body":"you listeners have a question or"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1392.23,"endTime":1395.68,"body":"a comment about stuff we talked"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1395.68,"endTime":1399.3999999999999,"body":"about, because sure we'll have"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1395.68,"endTime":1399.3999999999999,"body":"different opinions and, and"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1399.3999999999999,"endTime":1401.77,"body":"views, please just let us know."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1401.98,"endTime":1404.11,"body":"Absolutely. We'd"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1401.98,"endTime":1404.11,"body":"love to hear from our three"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1404.11,"endTime":1404.68,"body":"listeners."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1406.54,"endTime":1408.91,"body":"I heard. I heard"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1406.54,"endTime":1408.91,"body":"we have more now."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1409.36,"endTime":1411.7,"body":"Yeah. Okay. It's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1409.36,"endTime":1411.7,"body":"more than Okay. Okay. That's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1411.7,"endTime":1415.48,"body":"great. Okay, I feel encouraged."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1411.7,"endTime":1415.48,"body":"All right, we'll see you guys"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1415.48,"endTime":1416.83,"body":"next time. Thanks. Great."}]}