{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":32.75,"endTime":36.65,"body":"Welcome to episode"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":32.75,"endTime":36.65,"body":"number three. This is the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":39.47,"endTime":44.09,"body":"Welcome to Episode Three of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":39.47,"endTime":44.09,"body":"therapist unplugged today's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":46.61,"endTime":49.760000000000005,"body":"Abraham, just stop and do as"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":46.61,"endTime":49.760000000000005,"body":"long as there's a pause, you can"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":49.760000000000005,"endTime":55.19,"body":"shoot Yeah. Yeah. Welcome to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":49.760000000000005,"endTime":55.19,"body":"episode number three of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":55.22,"endTime":60.14,"body":"therapists unplugged. Today's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":55.22,"endTime":60.14,"body":"topic is postpartum life,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":60.44,"endTime":66.38,"body":"expectations versus reality. And"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":60.44,"endTime":66.38,"body":"I am recording in Montreal"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":66.41,"endTime":70.00999999999999,"body":"around the dining table of my"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":66.41,"endTime":70.00999999999999,"body":"beautiful daughter Kristen, and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":70.00999999999999,"endTime":75.02000000000001,"body":"my favorite son in law, Jason,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":70.00999999999999,"endTime":75.02000000000001,"body":"who have just given birth to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":75.02000000000001,"endTime":78.5,"body":"daughter number two. And"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":75.02000000000001,"endTime":78.5,"body":"actually, the topic of today's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":78.5,"endTime":83.57,"body":"podcast was inspired by Kristen,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":78.5,"endTime":83.57,"body":"who three years ago after giving"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":83.57,"endTime":88.55000000000001,"body":"birth to mckaela said, you know,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":83.57,"endTime":88.55000000000001,"body":"nobody ever really tells you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":88.55000000000001,"endTime":93.74,"body":"what it's like to have a baby."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":88.55000000000001,"endTime":93.74,"body":"And all that comes afterwards."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":94.19,"endTime":99.2,"body":"And I've heard that quite often"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":94.19,"endTime":99.2,"body":"in my therapy room. So I thought"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":99.2,"endTime":102.23,"body":"this would be a perfect"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":99.2,"endTime":102.23,"body":"opportunity to speak to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":102.23,"endTime":105.65,"body":"Christina and Jason about what"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":102.23,"endTime":105.65,"body":"their experience was, as the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":105.65,"endTime":110.45,"body":"parents of as first time parents"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":105.65,"endTime":110.45,"body":"three years ago versus what it's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":110.45,"endTime":114.47,"body":"been like for the last week. And"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":110.45,"endTime":114.47,"body":"I apologize in advance to my"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":114.47,"endTime":117.8,"body":"listeners, I have terrible"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":114.47,"endTime":117.8,"body":"laryngitis today. But I could"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":117.8,"endTime":121.82000000000001,"body":"not let this opportunity go by"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":117.8,"endTime":121.82000000000001,"body":"when I can sit here with Kristen"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":121.82000000000001,"endTime":123.77,"body":"and Jason, in real time."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":124.85,"endTime":128.36,"body":"So guys, welcome. Thank you."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":124.85,"endTime":128.36,"body":"Thank you. Thank you for being"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":128.36,"endTime":133.64,"body":"my guest today. Yeah, I want to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":128.36,"endTime":133.64,"body":"talk about expectations and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":133.64,"endTime":138.47,"body":"reality. I know that the first"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":133.64,"endTime":138.47,"body":"time you became parents three"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":138.47,"endTime":142.25,"body":"years ago was a bit of a rough"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":138.47,"endTime":142.25,"body":"ride. Yes. Yeah, it was a bit of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":142.25,"endTime":146.36,"body":"a culture shock. That's for"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":142.25,"endTime":146.36,"body":"sure. Lots of adapting. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":146.39,"endTime":149.54000000000002,"body":"and finding your own rhythm,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":146.39,"endTime":149.54000000000002,"body":"finding your rhythm and trying"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":149.54000000000002,"endTime":154.49,"body":"to figure out this new life. And"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":149.54000000000002,"endTime":154.49,"body":"it's very overwhelming. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":154.76,"endTime":155.15,"body":"yeah."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":157.25,"endTime":160.58,"body":"Let me let me ask, what were"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":157.25,"endTime":160.58,"body":"your expectations? Like, what"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":160.58,"endTime":163.94,"body":"did you think parenthood would"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":160.58,"endTime":163.94,"body":"be like? Before Michaela was"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":163.94,"endTime":165.8,"body":"born? What were your"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":163.94,"endTime":165.8,"body":"expectations?"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":167.54,"endTime":168.92,"body":"I don't know if I had"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":167.54,"endTime":168.92,"body":"any."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":170.06,"endTime":174.41,"body":"I mean, I'm coming from somebody"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":170.06,"endTime":174.41,"body":"who did not wanting children for"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":174.41,"endTime":179.42,"body":"a very, very long time. And then"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":174.41,"endTime":179.42,"body":"life sort of ran its course. And"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":179.42,"endTime":182.57,"body":"I found somebody and one day I"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":179.42,"endTime":182.57,"body":"woke up realizing that maybe I"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":182.57,"endTime":187.37,"body":"did want to be a father. And so"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":182.57,"endTime":187.37,"body":"I was going into it assuming it"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":187.37,"endTime":193.25,"body":"was going to be exhausting and"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":187.37,"endTime":193.25,"body":"tiring and taking away from my"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":193.25,"endTime":195.62,"body":"personal life that I've gotten"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":193.25,"endTime":195.62,"body":"comfortable with."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":197.27,"endTime":199.52,"body":"But I was hoping I would find"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":197.27,"endTime":199.52,"body":"some enjoyment in it at the same"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":199.52,"endTime":204.8,"body":"time. And as it happened, sure"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":199.52,"endTime":204.8,"body":"enough, it was it was a lot a"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":204.8,"endTime":209.57,"body":"lot to undertake and definitely"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":204.8,"endTime":209.57,"body":"pushed pushes you to your"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":209.57,"endTime":213.26,"body":"limits. Right limits you didn't"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":209.57,"endTime":213.26,"body":"even know Yeah, exactly. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":213.89000000000001,"endTime":215.72,"body":"Yeah, but a vote for you,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":213.89000000000001,"endTime":215.72,"body":"Kristen."},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":217.28,"endTime":221.27,"body":"Um, I think the"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":217.28,"endTime":221.27,"body":"expectation is that you give"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":221.27,"endTime":224.6,"body":"birth and then all of a sudden,"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":221.27,"endTime":224.6,"body":"everything should be second"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":224.6,"endTime":230.87,"body":"nature. And it isn't Yes. More"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":224.6,"endTime":230.87,"body":"specifically, you know,"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":231.05,"endTime":234.5,"body":"breastfeeding I think that was"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":231.05,"endTime":234.5,"body":"like a huge challenge for me."},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":235.85,"endTime":241.43,"body":"Everybody makes it seem like"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":235.85,"endTime":241.43,"body":"it's this this after that comes"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":241.85,"endTime":246.11,"body":"easily and and without without"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":241.85,"endTime":246.11,"body":"its challenges, but that's"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":246.11,"endTime":248.81,"body":"really not not the case at all."},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":246.11,"endTime":248.81,"body":"So I think that was like a rough"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":248.84,"endTime":250.7,"body":"Reality Check right off the bat."},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":252.26,"endTime":255.32,"body":"You know, it's Did you feel a"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":252.26,"endTime":255.32,"body":"lot of pressure to breastfeed"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":255.32,"endTime":259.22,"body":"Michaela? Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh,"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":255.32,"endTime":259.22,"body":"yeah. Right, from even prenatal"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":259.22,"endTime":262.46000000000004,"body":"classes is where it starts, they"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":259.22,"endTime":262.46000000000004,"body":"drive it, they really drive it"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":262.46000000000004,"endTime":265.46000000000004,"body":"hard. And to the point that it"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":262.46000000000004,"endTime":265.46000000000004,"body":"makes you feel like if you're"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":265.46000000000004,"endTime":268.61,"body":"not doing it, you're you're an"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":265.46000000000004,"endTime":268.61,"body":"inadequate parent. Absolutely."},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":268.64,"endTime":270.35,"body":"Like for the mother anyways,"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":268.64,"endTime":270.35,"body":"obviously for the husband,"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":270.35,"endTime":274.15999999999997,"body":"there's no impact, but for the"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":270.35,"endTime":274.15999999999997,"body":"mother, it's Oh my god, you're"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":274.15999999999997,"endTime":277.13,"body":"not doing it this way. You're"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":274.15999999999997,"endTime":277.13,"body":"you've already messed up as a"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":277.13,"endTime":279.86,"body":"mother, you have failed because"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":277.13,"endTime":279.86,"body":"you're not breastfeeding. It's"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":279.86,"endTime":282.98,"body":"it's pretty aggressive. It is"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":279.86,"endTime":282.98,"body":"very aggressive. And the nurses"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":282.98,"endTime":286.37,"body":"I think, really drive it home"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":282.98,"endTime":286.37,"body":"with the prenatal classes, but"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":286.37,"endTime":289.13,"body":"then again, at the hospital, you"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":286.37,"endTime":289.13,"body":"know, are you Brett like, it's"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":289.13,"endTime":292.61,"body":"almost like they don't even want"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":289.13,"endTime":292.61,"body":"to know what your decision is."},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":292.61,"endTime":295.22,"body":"They're just kind of throwing it"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":292.61,"endTime":295.22,"body":"in your face. Okay, you're"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":295.22,"endTime":297.89,"body":"breastfeeding. But you don't"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":295.22,"endTime":297.89,"body":"even give you the opportunity to"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":297.89,"endTime":298.70000000000005,"body":"say no."},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":304.90999999999997,"endTime":307.94000000000005,"body":"all these like pros as to why"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":304.90999999999997,"endTime":307.94000000000005,"body":"breastfeeding is best. And"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":307.94000000000005,"endTime":311.87,"body":"there's this huge pressure, you"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":307.94000000000005,"endTime":311.87,"body":"know, and going into it, I was"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":311.87,"endTime":314.33000000000004,"body":"like, I'm gonna try this. And if"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":311.87,"endTime":314.33000000000004,"body":"it works, it works. And if it"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":314.33000000000004,"endTime":318.32000000000005,"body":"doesn't, it doesn't. But then"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":314.33000000000004,"endTime":318.32000000000005,"body":"once you're in it, yeah, it"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":318.32000000000005,"endTime":322.49,"body":"completely takes over. Right?"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":318.32000000000005,"endTime":322.49,"body":"And to the point where you're"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":322.49,"endTime":325.82000000000005,"body":"just like, Well, no, I can't"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":322.49,"endTime":325.82000000000005,"body":"stop I have to keep going. And"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":325.85,"endTime":328.1,"body":"it got to the point where you"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":325.85,"endTime":328.1,"body":"know, it was really starting to"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":328.1,"endTime":328.28,"body":"affect"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":328.28,"endTime":333.40999999999997,"body":"My mental health. Yeah. And you"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":328.28,"endTime":333.40999999999997,"body":"know, I? In what way can you"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":333.40999999999997,"endTime":336.74,"body":"describe that a little bit more"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":333.40999999999997,"endTime":336.74,"body":"Christian for maybe more first"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":336.74,"endTime":340.37,"body":"time moms going through, you"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":336.74,"endTime":340.37,"body":"know, something similar and"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":340.37,"endTime":343.97,"body":"thinking like, Oh, I'm failing"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":340.37,"endTime":343.97,"body":"my baby or I'm, you know, not"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":343.97,"endTime":347.05999999999995,"body":"showing up as the best parent I"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":343.97,"endTime":347.05999999999995,"body":"can be. It seems like there's a"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":347.05999999999995,"endTime":350.96000000000004,"body":"lot of Yeah, so I mean, listen,"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":347.05999999999995,"endTime":350.96000000000004,"body":"it started with with her not"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":350.96000000000004,"endTime":353.51,"body":"being able to latch properly,"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":350.96000000000004,"endTime":353.51,"body":"which then you know, affects"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":353.51,"endTime":355.76,"body":"your supplies, then you're like,"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":353.51,"endTime":355.76,"body":"Okay, I'm not supplying enough"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":355.76,"endTime":359.45000000000005,"body":"milk. Like, why? Why is my body"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":355.76,"endTime":359.45000000000005,"body":"failing me? And then, you know,"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":359.45000000000005,"endTime":362.05999999999995,"body":"my body's failing me, I'm"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":359.45000000000005,"endTime":362.05999999999995,"body":"feeling my child and then having"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":362.05999999999995,"endTime":365.75,"body":"to supplement with formula to"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":362.05999999999995,"endTime":365.75,"body":"make sure she's not screaming,"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":365.75,"endTime":367.82000000000005,"body":"and then you're worried about"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":365.75,"endTime":367.82000000000005,"body":"her weight gain, and you're"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":367.82000000000005,"endTime":371.45000000000005,"body":"worried about, you know, all the"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":367.82000000000005,"endTime":371.45000000000005,"body":"the impacts that come with that."},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":372.5,"endTime":375.47,"body":"And then, yeah, you just started"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":372.5,"endTime":375.47,"body":"to beat yourself down, and to"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":375.47,"endTime":378.08000000000004,"body":"the point where I was like,"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":375.47,"endTime":378.08000000000004,"body":"Okay, well, at least, I'll pump"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":378.08000000000004,"endTime":380.27,"body":"and she'll get my breast milk"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":378.08000000000004,"endTime":380.27,"body":"that way, and then you're still"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":380.27,"endTime":382.97,"body":"not producing enough. And then"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":380.27,"endTime":382.97,"body":"you're sitting there attached to"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":382.97,"endTime":387.47,"body":"a wall for every two hours, for"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":382.97,"endTime":387.47,"body":"20 minutes, and you just feel"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":387.47,"endTime":388.1,"body":"like a cow."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":389.99,"endTime":392.51,"body":"Yeah, so it just"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":389.99,"endTime":392.51,"body":"it becomes too much. And it"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":392.51,"endTime":395.96000000000004,"body":"takes away the enjoyment of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":392.51,"endTime":395.96000000000004,"body":"being a mother. And really"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":395.96000000000004,"endTime":398.80999999999995,"body":"bonding with your baby. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":395.96000000000004,"endTime":398.80999999999995,"body":"cuz you're so uptight. And so"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":398.80999999999995,"endTime":402.44000000000005,"body":"full of anxiety. Yeah. You know,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":398.80999999999995,"endTime":402.44000000000005,"body":"Jason, you said something"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":402.44000000000005,"endTime":406.64,"body":"earlier about it doesn't really"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":402.44000000000005,"endTime":406.64,"body":"affect husbands. But I think it"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":406.64,"endTime":409.94000000000005,"body":"must have affected you watching"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":406.64,"endTime":409.94000000000005,"body":"Kristen. Yes. So from that"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":409.94000000000005,"endTime":413.48,"body":"perspective, yeah. So that in"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":409.94000000000005,"endTime":413.48,"body":"the early stages, when the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":413.48,"endTime":416.24,"body":"nurses are really trying to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":413.48,"endTime":416.24,"body":"drive at home and listen, I get"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":416.24,"endTime":420.55999999999995,"body":"it, you know what, it's the,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":416.24,"endTime":420.55999999999995,"body":"it's medical? They're not going"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":420.55999999999995,"endTime":423.65,"body":"to tell you otherwise. Right?"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":420.55999999999995,"endTime":423.65,"body":"Yes, we know that from a medical"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":423.65,"endTime":427.52,"body":"perspective, breast milk is the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":423.65,"endTime":427.52,"body":"better option for x, y, Zed"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":427.52,"endTime":430.70000000000005,"body":"reasons from the nutrients. And"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":427.52,"endTime":430.70000000000005,"body":"part I think of the medical"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":430.70000000000005,"endTime":433.97,"body":"establishment is that they want"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":430.70000000000005,"endTime":433.97,"body":"to drive the healthiest option,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":433.97,"endTime":437.17999999999995,"body":"right? They don't want to drive"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":433.97,"endTime":437.17999999999995,"body":"people to the store. But I think"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":437.17999999999995,"endTime":441.55999999999995,"body":"the flaw is that they don't say"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":437.17999999999995,"endTime":441.55999999999995,"body":"do this, try your best. And if"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":441.55999999999995,"endTime":445.66999999999996,"body":"you fall back on formula, it's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":441.55999999999995,"endTime":445.66999999999996,"body":"not the end of the world, they"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":445.66999999999996,"endTime":448.07000000000005,"body":"really just draw that line where"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":445.66999999999996,"endTime":448.07000000000005,"body":"it's, well, you have to do this."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":448.1,"endTime":451.82000000000005,"body":"And if you don't, well, then"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":448.1,"endTime":451.82000000000005,"body":"your, your child is missing out"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":451.82000000000005,"endTime":456.28999999999996,"body":"on x, y, z, like, exactly, your"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":451.82000000000005,"endTime":456.28999999999996,"body":"baby's not going to have the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":456.28999999999996,"endTime":459.89,"body":"best immune system, or they're"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":456.28999999999996,"endTime":459.89,"body":"not going to have the whatever,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":459.89,"endTime":464.17999999999995,"body":"you know what I mean. So all the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":459.89,"endTime":464.17999999999995,"body":"potential reasons why formula is"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":464.17999999999995,"endTime":468.14,"body":"not as great as breast milk, but"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":464.17999999999995,"endTime":468.14,"body":"you know, it, but at the same"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":468.14,"endTime":473.09000000000003,"body":"time, there's a reality anxiety."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":468.14,"endTime":473.09000000000003,"body":"I remember, you know, Kristen,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":473.45000000000005,"endTime":477.08000000000004,"body":"being tearful. Right? So Oh,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":473.45000000000005,"endTime":477.08000000000004,"body":"yeah. And you were very, you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":477.08000000000004,"endTime":479.80999999999995,"body":"really felt like a failure. And"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":477.08000000000004,"endTime":479.80999999999995,"body":"I think at one point, john,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":479.87,"endTime":483.38,"body":"Jason, you said, You know what,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":479.87,"endTime":483.38,"body":"yeah, from the father's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":483.38,"endTime":485.17999999999995,"body":"perspective, it's watching"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":486.58900000000006,"endTime":491.029,"body":"your wife and the mother"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":486.58900000000006,"endTime":491.029,"body":"of your child, not getting to be"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":491.029,"endTime":495.82899999999995,"body":"any of it. They almost they lose"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":491.029,"endTime":495.82899999999995,"body":"their existence, they become"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":495.82899999999995,"endTime":498.529,"body":"this almost inanimate object"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":495.82899999999995,"endTime":498.529,"body":"just sitting at this table"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":498.55899999999997,"endTime":503.749,"body":"attached to a machine. Just not"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":498.55899999999997,"endTime":503.749,"body":"existing, you know, just sadness"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":503.749,"endTime":507.85900000000004,"body":"in their eyes and just feeling"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":503.749,"endTime":507.85900000000004,"body":"broken and holding their child"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":507.85900000000004,"endTime":510.70899999999995,"body":"and not really getting that"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":507.85900000000004,"endTime":510.70899999999995,"body":"opportunity to connect with"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":510.70899999999995,"endTime":513.469,"body":"their child, you know, you go"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":510.70899999999995,"endTime":513.469,"body":"through this, this nine month"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":513.469,"endTime":517.129,"body":"ordeal, and you know, you push"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":513.469,"endTime":517.129,"body":"this kid out. And the first"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":517.129,"endTime":521.179,"body":"thing you want to do is embrace"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":517.129,"endTime":521.179,"body":"that, that existence, and it's"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":521.179,"endTime":523.549,"body":"taken from you, it's robbed from"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":521.179,"endTime":523.549,"body":"you by the system that says,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":523.549,"endTime":526.249,"body":"Well, you got to do it this way."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":523.549,"endTime":526.249,"body":"And if you don't, here, it's a"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":526.249,"endTime":530.329,"body":"sad to watch, you know, and from"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":526.249,"endTime":530.329,"body":"the husband perspective, it's is"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":530.329,"endTime":533.839,"body":"very, very heartbreaking to, to"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":530.329,"endTime":533.839,"body":"watch your wife struggle like"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":533.839,"endTime":536.299,"body":"that. And then you have kind of"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":533.839,"endTime":536.299,"body":"have to draw the line because"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":536.299,"endTime":540.289,"body":"you realize that they're not"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":536.299,"endTime":540.289,"body":"that the will to want to succeed"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":540.289,"endTime":545.4789999999999,"body":"and to not fail as a new mother"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":540.289,"endTime":545.4789999999999,"body":"is so overwhelming that they'll"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":545.4789999999999,"endTime":548.8389999999999,"body":"bury themselves doing it. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":545.4789999999999,"endTime":548.8389999999999,"body":"And I think it's you have to"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":548.8389999999999,"endTime":553.579,"body":"step in as the supportive person"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":548.8389999999999,"endTime":553.579,"body":"the really the only other person"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":553.579,"endTime":557.689,"body":"there that is so close to the"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":553.579,"endTime":557.689,"body":"situation and be like, not that"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":557.689,"endTime":559.279,"body":"it's your call, right? A lot of"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":557.689,"endTime":559.279,"body":"people are gonna listen and be"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":559.279,"endTime":561.4689999999999,"body":"like, Oh my god, well, it's not"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":559.279,"endTime":561.4689999999999,"body":"your decision. It's the mother"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":561.4689999999999,"endTime":565.2189999999999,"body":"decision. Yeah, we get that but"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":561.4689999999999,"endTime":565.2189999999999,"body":"part of the husbands role is to"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":565.2189999999999,"endTime":568.6089999999999,"body":"pay attention on an emotional"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":565.2189999999999,"endTime":568.6089999999999,"body":"level, what's happening with the"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":568.6089999999999,"endTime":573.079,"body":"mother and just chime in because"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":568.6089999999999,"endTime":573.079,"body":"the mother may be waiting on"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":573.079,"endTime":577.999,"body":"some sort of aid or some extra"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":573.079,"endTime":577.999,"body":"words to say, Hey, you know"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":577.999,"endTime":581.899,"body":"what, you don't need to do this"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":577.999,"endTime":581.899,"body":"and it's not me telling my wife"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":581.899,"endTime":584.419,"body":"that it's okay if you don't,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":581.899,"endTime":584.419,"body":"it's me just letting you know"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":584.419,"endTime":586.399,"body":"that whatever you're feeling"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":584.419,"endTime":586.399,"body":"you're probably you know, you're"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":586.399,"endTime":590.419,"body":"probably right. And if you want"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":586.399,"endTime":590.419,"body":"to step away from this, it's"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":590.419,"endTime":593.7189999999999,"body":"okay. You know, your your, your"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":590.419,"endTime":593.7189999999999,"body":"well being is more important,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":593.7189999999999,"endTime":597.139,"body":"and it's a team effort. I think"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":593.7189999999999,"endTime":597.139,"body":"people I knew from the husband I"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":597.139,"endTime":599.929,"body":"find that because it's such a"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":597.139,"endTime":599.929,"body":"personal experience to the"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":599.929,"endTime":603.769,"body":"mother, husbands or maybe left"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":599.929,"endTime":603.769,"body":"to feel like it's none of their"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":603.769,"endTime":608.539,"body":"business. I think society as a"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":603.769,"endTime":608.539,"body":"whole anything that revolves"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":608.539,"endTime":613.189,"body":"around a baby and a mother were"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":608.539,"endTime":613.189,"body":"very much led to feel like"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":613.2189999999999,"endTime":617.059,"body":"you're a secondary aspect of the"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":613.2189999999999,"endTime":617.059,"body":"situation. And you have no say"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":617.059,"endTime":619.879,"body":"and you have no say and it's the"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":617.059,"endTime":619.879,"body":"mother's choice. Okay, but"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":619.879,"endTime":623.8389999999999,"body":"you're married so when you made"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":619.879,"endTime":623.8389999999999,"body":"that decision, you came to you"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":623.8389999999999,"endTime":626.539,"body":"became a unit and so the"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":623.8389999999999,"endTime":626.539,"body":"decision making is not me"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":626.539,"endTime":629.419,"body":"telling her yes or a lot or no,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":626.539,"endTime":629.419,"body":"you're not allowed Being her"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":629.419,"endTime":637.399,"body":"partner and assisting her in her"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":629.419,"endTime":637.399,"body":"journey. So I mean, for me,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":637.399,"endTime":639.709,"body":"that's what it was it was"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":637.399,"endTime":639.709,"body":"walking into the kitchen and"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":639.709,"endTime":643.279,"body":"seeing her sitting there broken."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":639.709,"endTime":643.279,"body":"And how do you let that keep"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":643.279,"endTime":646.549,"body":"going? You know, you have to,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":643.279,"endTime":646.549,"body":"you have to step in and be like,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":646.549,"endTime":648.8589999999999,"body":"you need to stop this because"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":646.549,"endTime":648.8589999999999,"body":"you're losing,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":648.98,"endTime":653.8399999999999,"body":"I think you hit on"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":648.98,"endTime":653.8399999999999,"body":"a key word that is so important,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":655.13,"endTime":659.8399999999999,"body":"is teamwork. You were a couple"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":655.13,"endTime":659.8399999999999,"body":"before the baby came into your"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":659.8399999999999,"endTime":665.51,"body":"lives. And when a baby arrives,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":659.8399999999999,"endTime":665.51,"body":"it's such a life changing"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":665.51,"endTime":668.99,"body":"experience. I mean, more than"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":665.51,"endTime":668.99,"body":"anything birth and death, right."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":670.0699999999999,"endTime":673.85,"body":"And so we can't we I think"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":670.0699999999999,"endTime":673.85,"body":"there's a tendency to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":673.85,"endTime":678.86,"body":"romanticize in some ways, what"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":673.85,"endTime":678.86,"body":"it's like to have a baby, but I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":678.86,"endTime":683.87,"body":"think can also for some people,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":678.86,"endTime":683.87,"body":"be a level of grief. are life"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":683.87,"endTime":686.78,"body":"isn't what it used to be,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":683.87,"endTime":686.78,"body":"especially in those really early"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":686.78,"endTime":690.62,"body":"days where you don't know what"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":686.78,"endTime":690.62,"body":"you're doing. You are exhausted."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":690.92,"endTime":694.52,"body":"You second guess yourself, you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":690.92,"endTime":694.52,"body":"put this pressure on yourself. I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":694.52,"endTime":696.77,"body":"didn't know what this baby"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":694.52,"endTime":696.77,"body":"needs, but you've only met them"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":696.77,"endTime":701.0899999999999,"body":"three days ago. How could you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":696.77,"endTime":701.0899999999999,"body":"possibly know? And just that"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":701.0899999999999,"endTime":707.24,"body":"ability to just recognition that"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":701.0899999999999,"endTime":707.24,"body":"you're a team? And to continue"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":707.24,"endTime":711.5899999999999,"body":"to be tuned into one another? I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":707.24,"endTime":711.5899999999999,"body":"think that's the thing is, my"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":711.5899999999999,"endTime":715.5799999999999,"body":"observation gets I was there for"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":711.5899999999999,"endTime":715.5799999999999,"body":"that first week anyways, is that"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":715.5799999999999,"endTime":720.02,"body":"you were very tuned into"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":715.5799999999999,"endTime":720.02,"body":"Kristen. And and could see even"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":720.02,"endTime":723.5,"body":"in, you know the depth of the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":720.02,"endTime":723.5,"body":"anxiety that you were feeling"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":723.5,"endTime":728.81,"body":"Kristin, you know, Jason was"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":723.5,"endTime":728.81,"body":"able to say, Hey, listen, this"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":728.81,"endTime":732.17,"body":"doesn't make you less of a mom."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":728.81,"endTime":732.17,"body":"Yeah. Give yourself permission"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":732.17,"endTime":734.6,"body":"to say this is not this is not,"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":734.929,"endTime":737.629,"body":"this is not working."},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":734.929,"endTime":737.629,"body":"Yeah. Working for me. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":737.78,"endTime":741.3199999999999,"body":"yeah, exactly. The"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":737.78,"endTime":741.3199999999999,"body":"other thing, too, Jason, that"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":741.3199999999999,"endTime":744.02,"body":"you just said I want to pick up"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":741.3199999999999,"endTime":744.02,"body":"on. And then I'm coming to you,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":744.02,"endTime":750.29,"body":"Kristen, is about the role of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":744.02,"endTime":750.29,"body":"dads. Because there is often"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":750.29,"endTime":754.9399999999999,"body":"this focus on the moms because"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":750.29,"endTime":754.9399999999999,"body":"she's pregnant, and she's going"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":754.9399999999999,"endTime":759.11,"body":"to go through the delivery and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":754.9399999999999,"endTime":759.11,"body":"so on. And the role of dad pre"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":759.11,"endTime":763.49,"body":"part, blood, prenatal and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":759.11,"endTime":763.49,"body":"postpartum maybe isn't always so"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":763.49,"endTime":767.27,"body":"clear. So I'm wondering what you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":763.49,"endTime":767.27,"body":"learned and what advice you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":767.27,"endTime":771.4399999999999,"body":"might have to offer based on"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":767.27,"endTime":771.4399999999999,"body":"your own postpartum experience"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":771.4399999999999,"endTime":772.13,"body":"as a dad."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":772.73,"endTime":776.54,"body":"So I, you know, everybody"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":772.73,"endTime":776.54,"body":"I like to say we all have our"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":776.54,"endTime":779.87,"body":"tool belts in life. And we're"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":776.54,"endTime":779.87,"body":"all equipped with certain tools"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":779.87,"endTime":782.75,"body":"on our tool belt as we grow up,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":779.87,"endTime":782.75,"body":"and how we're raised and what we"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":782.75,"endTime":785.12,"body":"go through in life. And not"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":782.75,"endTime":785.12,"body":"everybody has the same tool"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":785.12,"endTime":790.4,"body":"belt. Unfortunately, for me, I"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":785.12,"endTime":790.4,"body":"grew up with just them all. And"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":790.4,"endTime":794.15,"body":"that obviously had a big impact"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":790.4,"endTime":794.15,"body":"on how I became a husband and a"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":794.15,"endTime":798.38,"body":"father, because I was very"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":794.15,"endTime":798.38,"body":"heavily nurtured from the"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":798.38,"endTime":801.9499999999999,"body":"mother's perspective, and didn't"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":798.38,"endTime":801.9499999999999,"body":"really have much from a father"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":801.9499999999999,"endTime":805.91,"body":"side. So pros and cons to that,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":801.9499999999999,"endTime":805.91,"body":"as I grew older, and you know,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":805.91,"endTime":808.64,"body":"went through experiences in life"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":805.91,"endTime":808.64,"body":"that when it came time to being"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":808.67,"endTime":813.8,"body":"a dad and a husband, my instinct"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":808.67,"endTime":813.8,"body":"was that I was a more motherly,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":813.8,"endTime":818.15,"body":"but more sensitive, and"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":813.8,"endTime":818.15,"body":"Nigerian. Yeah, and I was able"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":818.15,"endTime":822.53,"body":"to tune in, I think it was my"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":818.15,"endTime":822.53,"body":"instinct to, you know, just want"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":822.53,"endTime":825.38,"body":"to be there. And it was scary,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":822.53,"endTime":825.38,"body":"because we all bring our own"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":825.38,"endTime":828.05,"body":"baggage into new situations. And"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":825.38,"endTime":828.05,"body":"you know, we've spoken about"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":828.05,"endTime":832.97,"body":"this in the past where these new"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":828.05,"endTime":832.97,"body":"situations bring to the surface"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":833.3,"endTime":836.48,"body":"issues and problems within you"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":833.3,"endTime":836.48,"body":"that you didn't really you"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":836.48,"endTime":840.23,"body":"thought maybe were gone, or"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":836.48,"endTime":840.23,"body":"buried, and just come right"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":840.23,"endTime":842.6,"body":"back, you know, you get pushed"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":840.23,"endTime":842.6,"body":"to your limits. And"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":842.66,"endTime":847.5799999999999,"body":"unfortunately, also, your mental"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":842.66,"endTime":847.5799999999999,"body":"or just things you've had to"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":847.5799999999999,"endTime":851.42,"body":"deal with in life, are thrown"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":847.5799999999999,"endTime":851.42,"body":"back in your face. And not only"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":851.42,"endTime":854.18,"body":"are you dealing with being a new"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":851.42,"endTime":854.18,"body":"parent, you're also dealing with"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":854.2099999999999,"endTime":857.99,"body":"your own childhood trauma, that"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":854.2099999999999,"endTime":857.99,"body":"then just stacks on top of that"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":857.99,"endTime":860.3299999999999,"body":"and just adds to the"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":857.99,"endTime":860.3299999999999,"body":"complication, you know, and as a"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":860.3299999999999,"endTime":864.56,"body":"father, for me, it's you know,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":860.3299999999999,"endTime":864.56,"body":"what do I do you know, the"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":864.56,"endTime":868.49,"body":"pressures on the mom, she has to"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":864.56,"endTime":868.49,"body":"breastfeed, she's up on age, how"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":868.49,"endTime":872.42,"body":"do I help the situation? You"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":868.49,"endTime":872.42,"body":"just try and find your niche,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":872.42,"endTime":875.27,"body":"you just try and find where you"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":872.42,"endTime":875.27,"body":"can is it doing the groceries is"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":875.27,"endTime":879.41,"body":"it cleaning up just to take as"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":875.27,"endTime":879.41,"body":"much weight off right? The focus"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":879.4399999999999,"endTime":883.13,"body":"is on the mother and"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":879.4399999999999,"endTime":883.13,"body":"understandably because those"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":883.13,"endTime":885.56,"body":"first that first beginning is"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":883.13,"endTime":885.56,"body":"really between the mom and the"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":885.56,"endTime":887.9,"body":"child but you still want to be"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":885.56,"endTime":887.9,"body":"involved. You don't want to be"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":887.9,"endTime":890.8399999999999,"body":"pushed out of it and you want to"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":887.9,"endTime":890.8399999999999,"body":"know that you've you've"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":890.8399999999999,"endTime":894.17,"body":"contributed to the whole"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":890.8399999999999,"endTime":894.17,"body":"situation as best as you can as"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":894.17,"endTime":895.28,"body":"a father and as a husband."},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":896.06,"endTime":898.4599999999999,"body":"didn't touch on that. I"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":896.06,"endTime":898.4599999999999,"body":"think it's also I was talking"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":898.4599999999999,"endTime":902.6,"body":"about this with Nicole"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":898.4599999999999,"endTime":902.6,"body":"yesterday. And I think it's also"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":902.6,"endTime":905.99,"body":"the responsibility of the mom to"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":902.6,"endTime":905.99,"body":"be able to communicate what she"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":905.99,"endTime":909.65,"body":"needs from you. Right? Because"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":905.99,"endTime":909.65,"body":"everybody's different where it's"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":909.65,"endTime":913.85,"body":"like, you know, I think the dads"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":909.65,"endTime":913.85,"body":"instinct is to Okay, what else"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":913.85,"endTime":918.05,"body":"can I do to help pick up the"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":913.85,"endTime":918.05,"body":"slack whether it's the house or"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":918.05,"endTime":920.99,"body":"the groceries and it's like,"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":918.05,"endTime":920.99,"body":"depends on the mom to you know,"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":920.99,"endTime":923.63,"body":"some people may just want to"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":920.99,"endTime":923.63,"body":"hand over the baby for an hour."},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":923.6899999999999,"endTime":928.0699999999999,"body":"So should he go shower or take a"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":923.6899999999999,"endTime":928.0699999999999,"body":"light but it's up to the to the"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":928.0699999999999,"endTime":930.98,"body":"mom To be able to communicate"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":928.0699999999999,"endTime":930.98,"body":"that with their husband. And I"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":930.98,"endTime":935.0899999999999,"body":"think that's where a lot of moms"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":930.98,"endTime":935.0899999999999,"body":"kind of like miss the mark is"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":935.0899999999999,"endTime":937.31,"body":"that they just assume that the"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":935.0899999999999,"endTime":937.31,"body":"baby is entirely their"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":937.31,"endTime":940.6999999999999,"body":"responsibility, and that they"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":937.31,"endTime":940.6999999999999,"body":"don't deserve that break or that"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":940.73,"endTime":943.85,"body":"they should be grateful for"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":940.73,"endTime":943.85,"body":"other things. But I think,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":944.3,"endTime":946.31,"body":"yeah, no, I think it"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":944.3,"endTime":946.31,"body":"comes back to teamwork, right?"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":946.3399999999999,"endTime":950.3299999999999,"body":"It's communicate with one"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":946.3399999999999,"endTime":950.3299999999999,"body":"another, and vacation. So it's"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":951.0799999999999,"endTime":954.68,"body":"telling the other person what"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":951.0799999999999,"endTime":954.68,"body":"you need, so that they can do it"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":954.68,"endTime":959.75,"body":"for you so that their efforts"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":954.68,"endTime":959.75,"body":"are not wasted? Yes, right. You"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":959.75,"endTime":962.24,"body":"don't want the last thing you"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":959.75,"endTime":962.24,"body":"want is one person putting in"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":962.24,"endTime":964.16,"body":"all this effort and thinking"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":962.24,"endTime":964.16,"body":"that they've done all these"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":964.16,"endTime":967.22,"body":"wonderful things. And it always"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":964.16,"endTime":967.22,"body":"being done in vain, because it"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":967.22,"endTime":969.3199999999999,"body":"really wasn't what the person"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":967.22,"endTime":969.3199999999999,"body":"needed at the end. And then you"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":969.3199999999999,"endTime":972.5,"body":"have this frustration of, well,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":969.3199999999999,"endTime":972.5,"body":"I did all this stuff. Okay, but"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":972.5,"endTime":974.9,"body":"none of that helps me in any"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":972.5,"endTime":974.9,"body":"way. I'm glad Thank you. But"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":974.9,"endTime":977.87,"body":"that's not really what I wanted."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":974.9,"endTime":977.87,"body":"So for the husband, father"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":977.87,"endTime":981.89,"body":"that's emotionally in tune, and"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":977.87,"endTime":981.89,"body":"you can pick up on things great,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":981.89,"endTime":983.93,"body":"you have an edge on the"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":981.89,"endTime":983.93,"body":"situation, and you can probably"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":983.93,"endTime":988.0699999999999,"body":"pick up quicker. But then"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":983.93,"endTime":988.0699999999999,"body":"there's also the mom that maybe"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":988.0699999999999,"endTime":990.62,"body":"doesn't know how to communicate,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":988.0699999999999,"endTime":990.62,"body":"or maybe doesn't know how to"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":990.68,"endTime":994.22,"body":"express what she's feeling,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":990.68,"endTime":994.22,"body":"because maybe she's fearing"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":994.91,"endTime":997.97,"body":"confrontation or feel like maybe"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":994.91,"endTime":997.97,"body":"she's asking too much, or she's"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":997.97,"endTime":1001.78,"body":"not allowed to ask for any of"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":997.97,"endTime":1001.78,"body":"it. And so it's this really,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1001.78,"endTime":1007.3,"body":"really finicky dance of going"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1001.78,"endTime":1007.3,"body":"back and forth on who takes the"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1007.3,"endTime":1010.39,"body":"first step who says what, and"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1007.3,"endTime":1010.39,"body":"trying to navigate right and"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1010.39,"endTime":1011.4399999999999,"body":"learning to be in sync?"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1012.189,"endTime":1015.939,"body":"I love what you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1012.189,"endTime":1015.939,"body":"just said about the dance,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1015.9689999999999,"endTime":1020.2289999999999,"body":"because that's exactly what"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1015.9689999999999,"endTime":1020.2289999999999,"body":"happens. Isn't it a relationship"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1020.2289999999999,"endTime":1023.439,"body":"as you dance together? And"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1020.2289999999999,"endTime":1023.439,"body":"sometimes you step on one"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1023.439,"endTime":1027.939,"body":"another's toes, yeah. But you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1023.439,"endTime":1027.939,"body":"need to be able to send a clear"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1027.939,"endTime":1031.1490000000001,"body":"signal for what you need, so"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1027.939,"endTime":1031.1490000000001,"body":"your partner can deliver."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1031.539,"endTime":1034.1490000000001,"body":"Because when you're out there,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1031.539,"endTime":1034.1490000000001,"body":"like he's doing all of these"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1034.1490000000001,"endTime":1036.609,"body":"things, and someone says, Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1034.1490000000001,"endTime":1036.609,"body":"but what it really needed was a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1036.609,"endTime":1040.359,"body":"hot shower. Yeah, yeah, for"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1036.609,"endTime":1040.359,"body":"sure. It's I think that's,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1040.3890000000001,"endTime":1041.799,"body":"that's, that's crucial."},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1041.829,"endTime":1043.359,"body":"And I think that's"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1041.829,"endTime":1043.359,"body":"where a lot of resentment will"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1043.359,"endTime":1046.239,"body":"come in to men. I think that's"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1043.359,"endTime":1046.239,"body":"like a huge source of complex as"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1046.239,"endTime":1050.6190000000001,"body":"like, of new parents is, is the"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1046.239,"endTime":1050.6190000000001,"body":"resentment feeling like, Okay,"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1050.6190000000001,"endTime":1052.869,"body":"well, I'm the one that stuck"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1050.6190000000001,"endTime":1052.869,"body":"with the baby, you can do this,"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1052.869,"endTime":1054.999,"body":"you can do that. And then the"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1052.869,"endTime":1054.999,"body":"other person thinking that"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1054.999,"endTime":1058.269,"body":"they're helping you and not"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1054.999,"endTime":1058.269,"body":"realizing, you know, that maybe"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1058.269,"endTime":1060.219,"body":"they just needed to take the"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1058.269,"endTime":1060.219,"body":"baby for a minute."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1060.94,"endTime":1063.1299999999999,"body":"Or just assuming that the"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1060.94,"endTime":1063.1299999999999,"body":"other person should just know."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1063.28,"endTime":1065.95,"body":"Yeah, so why did you know what I"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1063.28,"endTime":1065.95,"body":"want? Yeah, well, why didn't you"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1065.95,"endTime":1068.29,"body":"tell me what why should I have"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1065.95,"endTime":1068.29,"body":"to tell you, okay, but again,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1068.32,"endTime":1070.57,"body":"the dance, we need to we need to"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1068.32,"endTime":1070.57,"body":"work with each other, right? If"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1070.57,"endTime":1073.21,"body":"I step on your toes, it's not a"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1070.57,"endTime":1073.21,"body":"blame game. You we need to"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1073.21,"endTime":1075.79,"body":"correct it together. And we want"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1073.21,"endTime":1075.79,"body":"the dads to be as nice as"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1075.79,"endTime":1079.6,"body":"possible. And I think people are"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1075.79,"endTime":1079.6,"body":"too focused on their own needs"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1079.6,"endTime":1082.51,"body":"individually, that they, you"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1079.6,"endTime":1082.51,"body":"know, I think one of the core"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1082.51,"endTime":1084.55,"body":"things I've always tried to"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1082.51,"endTime":1084.55,"body":"focus on in my marriage with"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1084.55,"endTime":1090.91,"body":"Kristen is I instinctively will"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1084.55,"endTime":1090.91,"body":"not worry about myself and"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1090.91,"endTime":1093.61,"body":"slowly worry about the other"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1090.91,"endTime":1093.61,"body":"person. Now there's some"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1093.61,"endTime":1096.55,"body":"dangerous to that. But if you're"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1093.61,"endTime":1096.55,"body":"lucky enough to be with a"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1096.55,"endTime":1099.91,"body":"partner who does the same,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1096.55,"endTime":1099.91,"body":"you're both taking care of one"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1099.91,"endTime":1103.12,"body":"another. And you're not worrying"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1099.91,"endTime":1103.12,"body":"about, it's more genuine,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1103.12,"endTime":1105.97,"body":"because I'm not there's no self"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1103.12,"endTime":1105.97,"body":"interest for me. I'm worried"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1105.97,"endTime":1108.76,"body":"about Kristin. And that's where"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1105.97,"endTime":1108.76,"body":"my energy has, she is worried"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1108.76,"endTime":1112.3899999999999,"body":"about me. And so it just"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1108.76,"endTime":1112.3899999999999,"body":"balances nicely, but it takes"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1112.3899999999999,"endTime":1115.3,"body":"time. So if you're a young"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1112.3899999999999,"endTime":1115.3,"body":"couple, and you've only been"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1115.3,"endTime":1117.31,"body":"together for a short period of"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1115.3,"endTime":1117.31,"body":"time, and now you're throwing a"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1117.31,"endTime":1120.19,"body":"baby into the mix, you're just"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1117.31,"endTime":1120.19,"body":"you're adding to that"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1120.19,"endTime":1122.5,"body":"experiment, you're just making"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1120.19,"endTime":1122.5,"body":"it that much trickier and"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1122.5,"endTime":1126.1299999999999,"body":"tougher, right? So it's, you"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1122.5,"endTime":1126.1299999999999,"body":"know, it's an ongoing, I mean,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1126.16,"endTime":1128.35,"body":"you know, people can be married"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1126.16,"endTime":1128.35,"body":"for 20 years, and they're still"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1128.35,"endTime":1130.6299999999999,"body":"stepping on each other's toes"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1128.35,"endTime":1130.6299999999999,"body":"during the dance, and never"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1130.6299999999999,"endTime":1131.47,"body":"ends. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1132.73,"endTime":1135.34,"body":"Right. And having"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1132.73,"endTime":1135.34,"body":"a baby doesn't make it easier."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1135.34,"endTime":1136.3,"body":"No, no."},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1138.07,"endTime":1139.72,"body":"and brings it all to"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1138.07,"endTime":1139.72,"body":"the surface."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1139.78,"endTime":1141.94,"body":"It's like someone"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1139.78,"endTime":1141.94,"body":"throwing a ball in between your"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1141.94,"endTime":1144.3999999999999,"body":"feet as you're trying to dads"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1141.94,"endTime":1144.3999999999999,"body":"and you're constantly stepping"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1144.3999999999999,"endTime":1146.95,"body":"on and yes, flip flopping over"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1144.3999999999999,"endTime":1146.95,"body":"one another."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1148.57,"endTime":1151.57,"body":"How did you guys"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1148.57,"endTime":1151.57,"body":"figure out I think you've"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1151.57,"endTime":1154.75,"body":"touched on some of the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1151.57,"endTime":1154.75,"body":"challenges in the relationship"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1154.75,"endTime":1161.17,"body":"for but for you, Kristen, how"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1154.75,"endTime":1161.17,"body":"did having a baby shift? Or,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1161.44,"endTime":1165.46,"body":"yeah, shift your relationship"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1161.44,"endTime":1165.46,"body":"with with Jason."},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1166.21,"endTime":1169.8999999999999,"body":"I don't know if it"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1166.21,"endTime":1169.8999999999999,"body":"really shifted all that much. I"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1169.8999999999999,"endTime":1175.51,"body":"think for me becoming a new mom,"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1169.8999999999999,"endTime":1175.51,"body":"it was more about like, the like"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1175.51,"endTime":1178.93,"body":"you said before, like the kind"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1175.51,"endTime":1178.93,"body":"of the grieving your old life."},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1179.6499999999999,"endTime":1180.6399999999999,"body":"But I feel like"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1182.11,"endTime":1184.54,"body":"I think it'll happen too"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1182.11,"endTime":1184.54,"body":"fast that you don't really have"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1184.54,"endTime":1188.6499999999999,"body":"time to worry. Yeah. When you"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1184.54,"endTime":1188.6499999999999,"body":"have a little little life thing."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1188.68,"endTime":1191.59,"body":"You know, balancing you know,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1188.68,"endTime":1191.59,"body":"hanging in your hands. It's kind"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1191.59,"endTime":1195.8799999999999,"body":"of Okay, great. I miss it. But"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1191.59,"endTime":1195.8799999999999,"body":"baby's crying. So another day."},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1197.3799999999999,"endTime":1200.11,"body":"You don't have time to"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1197.3799999999999,"endTime":1200.11,"body":"think about it. Yeah, because"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1200.11,"endTime":1202.75,"body":"you're just so focused and"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1200.11,"endTime":1202.75,"body":"worried about keeping this"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1202.75,"endTime":1204.01,"body":"little tiny human alive."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1204.16,"endTime":1206.71,"body":"What did you learn"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1204.16,"endTime":1206.71,"body":"about yourself becoming a mom?"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1209.77,"endTime":1216.31,"body":"Ooh, that's a question"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1209.77,"endTime":1216.31,"body":"of a therapist. Remember? What?"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1216.76,"endTime":1223.69,"body":"Okay, what did I learn about"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1216.76,"endTime":1223.69,"body":"myself becoming a mom. I think I"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1223.69,"endTime":1230.53,"body":"get I don't know. I don't even"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1223.69,"endTime":1230.53,"body":"know Probably that I not that I"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1230.53,"endTime":1232.8999999999999,"body":"thought I had a lot of patience,"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1230.53,"endTime":1232.8999999999999,"body":"but it really drove at home that"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1232.8999999999999,"endTime":1239.5,"body":"I don't have you know that you"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1232.8999999999999,"endTime":1239.5,"body":"can i mean that you're stronger"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1239.5,"endTime":1243.67,"body":"than you think I think, you"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1239.5,"endTime":1243.67,"body":"know, really, it pushes you and"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1243.67,"endTime":1246.7,"body":"attests you to limits that you"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1243.67,"endTime":1246.7,"body":"didn't know existed,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1248.02,"endTime":1250.57,"body":"but that you're"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1248.02,"endTime":1250.57,"body":"strong enough to overcome it. I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1250.57,"endTime":1255.34,"body":"think that's really kind of,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1250.57,"endTime":1255.34,"body":"that's what I would say. What"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1255.34,"endTime":1260.71,"body":"about for you, Jason? For me, it"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1255.34,"endTime":1260.71,"body":"made me realize that I had a lot"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1260.71,"endTime":1265.3,"body":"more emotional baggage and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1260.71,"endTime":1265.3,"body":"damage that I was carrying on my"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1265.3,"endTime":1269.44,"body":"shoulders. And I realized I had"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1265.3,"endTime":1269.44,"body":"things from a very long time ago"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1269.44,"endTime":1272.23,"body":"from when I was very young that"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1269.44,"endTime":1272.23,"body":"I've been carrying my whole life"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1272.23,"endTime":1276.6399999999999,"body":"that I thought were kind of gone"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1272.23,"endTime":1276.6399999999999,"body":"only because my life was so easy"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1276.6399999999999,"endTime":1280.03,"body":"being alone living in my"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1276.6399999999999,"endTime":1280.03,"body":"apartment with my cat, just very"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1280.03,"endTime":1282.91,"body":"simple. There was nothing"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1280.03,"endTime":1282.91,"body":"pushing the envelope. And so you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1282.91,"endTime":1285.58,"body":"throw you know, you get married,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1282.91,"endTime":1285.58,"body":"you move into a house, you have"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1285.58,"endTime":1289.1499999999999,"body":"a baby all back to back in a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1285.58,"endTime":1289.1499999999999,"body":"matter of a few years. And all"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1289.1499999999999,"endTime":1291.8799999999999,"body":"of a sudden, everything"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1289.1499999999999,"endTime":1291.8799999999999,"body":"surfaces, and it made me realize"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1292.48,"endTime":1294.76,"body":"how much work there was still"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1292.48,"endTime":1294.76,"body":"left to be done. And that if I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1294.76,"endTime":1297.31,"body":"want it to be the best dad"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1294.76,"endTime":1297.31,"body":"possible, and to be a good"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1297.31,"endTime":1300.85,"body":"husband, that I really had to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1297.31,"endTime":1300.85,"body":"nip it in the bud, I really had"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1300.85,"endTime":1304.09,"body":"to take care of these lingering"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1300.85,"endTime":1304.09,"body":"things, and that if I didn't,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1304.09,"endTime":1307.84,"body":"they would bury me. And it's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1304.09,"endTime":1307.84,"body":"very frightening. It is scary."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1308.11,"endTime":1312.82,"body":"It's scary when you least expect"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1308.11,"endTime":1312.82,"body":"it. And I think when you become"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1312.82,"endTime":1317.1399999999999,"body":"a parent, it's like that little"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1312.82,"endTime":1317.1399999999999,"body":"kid in yourself shows up. And"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1317.1399999999999,"endTime":1320.41,"body":"through your parodying of your"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1317.1399999999999,"endTime":1320.41,"body":"children, you tried to sue that"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1320.41,"endTime":1324.04,"body":"little kid, it's really, I don't"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1320.41,"endTime":1324.04,"body":"know how else to describe it, I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1324.04,"endTime":1326.17,"body":"experienced something very"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1324.04,"endTime":1326.17,"body":"similar to what you're"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1326.17,"endTime":1331.1499999999999,"body":"describing. And I've had clients"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1326.17,"endTime":1331.1499999999999,"body":"talk about their own childhood"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1331.1499999999999,"endTime":1335.05,"body":"experiences coming up for them"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1331.1499999999999,"endTime":1335.05,"body":"as they're watching their"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1335.05,"endTime":1340.69,"body":"children grow and the way they"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1335.05,"endTime":1340.69,"body":"parent and it's a very, it's a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1340.69,"endTime":1346.54,"body":"complex and fascinating"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1340.69,"endTime":1346.54,"body":"scenario. But I think it it is"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1346.6,"endTime":1352.06,"body":"again, a reminder of you know,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1346.6,"endTime":1352.06,"body":"work continual work in progress."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1352.42,"endTime":1355.6,"body":"And so when we have children,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1352.42,"endTime":1355.6,"body":"there may be old wounds that"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1355.6,"endTime":1360.01,"body":"surface that we are now either"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1355.6,"endTime":1360.01,"body":"called to or prepared to address"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1360.34,"endTime":1364.21,"body":"that we wouldn't have before."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1360.34,"endTime":1364.21,"body":"And I think that's just the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1364.21,"endTime":1369.25,"body":"that's human nature and part of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1364.21,"endTime":1369.25,"body":"the parenting and giving birth"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1369.25,"endTime":1370.09,"body":"process."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1373.18,"endTime":1379.87,"body":"What did you find? were the best"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1373.18,"endTime":1379.87,"body":"sources of support as you were"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1379.87,"endTime":1383.29,"body":"going through those early days"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1379.87,"endTime":1383.29,"body":"of parenting, especially with"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1383.29,"endTime":1385.6,"body":"Michaela, like just becoming"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1383.29,"endTime":1385.6,"body":"parents."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1386.139,"endTime":1390.6689999999999,"body":"For myself I would say"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1386.139,"endTime":1390.6689999999999,"body":"there's probably very little i"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1390.6689999999999,"endTime":1394.359,"body":"think you know, from the"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1390.6689999999999,"endTime":1394.359,"body":"father's perspective I don't"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1394.359,"endTime":1399.039,"body":"think that we're looked at as"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1394.359,"endTime":1399.039,"body":"husbands and fathers that we"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1399.039,"endTime":1402.009,"body":"need any support I think it's"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1399.039,"endTime":1402.009,"body":"just assumed that we're these"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1402.009,"endTime":1404.619,"body":"rocks that can just go to work"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1402.009,"endTime":1404.619,"body":"every day and just push through"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1404.619,"endTime":1408.849,"body":"everything and the moms are sort"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1404.619,"endTime":1408.849,"body":"of made to look like these you"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1408.849,"endTime":1411.579,"body":"know fragile beings that need"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1408.849,"endTime":1411.579,"body":"all the help in the world which"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1411.579,"endTime":1414.9089999999999,"body":"you know there's no women are"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1411.579,"endTime":1414.9089999999999,"body":"very very strong and but there's"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1414.9089999999999,"endTime":1417.879,"body":"a huge support system you know,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1414.9089999999999,"endTime":1417.879,"body":"I got to watch Kristen go online"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1417.879,"endTime":1420.549,"body":"and go on these Facebook groups"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1417.879,"endTime":1420.549,"body":"and all these moms getting"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1420.549,"endTime":1423.6689999999999,"body":"together and talking to each"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1420.549,"endTime":1423.6689999999999,"body":"other and these groups are also"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1423.6689999999999,"endTime":1426.4289999999999,"body":"in sync with the age of your"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1423.6689999999999,"endTime":1426.4289999999999,"body":"baby and so all the moms who"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1426.4289999999999,"endTime":1429.399,"body":"have a child is the same as"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1426.4289999999999,"endTime":1429.399,"body":"yours and they're all helping"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1429.399,"endTime":1432.849,"body":"each other men don't do that we"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1429.399,"endTime":1432.849,"body":"don't sit around a table and go"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1432.849,"endTime":1436.869,"body":"so how you feeling today How is"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1432.849,"endTime":1436.869,"body":"it how you know like we're we're"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1436.869,"endTime":1439.959,"body":"supposed to be the tough ones"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1436.869,"endTime":1439.959,"body":"but we're breaking inside and"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1439.959,"endTime":1443.469,"body":"there is nothing in the system"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1439.959,"endTime":1443.469,"body":"to help us there is no father"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1443.469,"endTime":1447.039,"body":"Facebook crew for new kids maybe"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1443.469,"endTime":1447.039,"body":"there is I didn't find it but we"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1447.039,"endTime":1450.039,"body":"also probably don't go looking"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1447.039,"endTime":1450.039,"body":"for it either. So Exactly. And"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1450.039,"endTime":1455.049,"body":"so it's a very different dynamic"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1450.039,"endTime":1455.049,"body":"right the moms really, I think"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1456.189,"endTime":1459.009,"body":"team together to support one"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1456.189,"endTime":1459.009,"body":"another and I think it's"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1459.009,"endTime":1462.039,"body":"wonderful to see that all these"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1459.009,"endTime":1462.039,"body":"moms are struggling individually"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1462.309,"endTime":1467.469,"body":"but are like let's all struggle"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1462.309,"endTime":1467.469,"body":"together. right the the fathers"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1467.469,"endTime":1469.6589999999999,"body":"are just like let's just all"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1467.469,"endTime":1469.6589999999999,"body":"struggle silently in our shed."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1471.219,"endTime":1472.869,"body":"Okay, so it's a little"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1471.219,"endTime":1472.869,"body":"different."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1473.32,"endTime":1477.73,"body":"I was I was really"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1473.32,"endTime":1477.73,"body":"impressed. I guess I was"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1477.73,"endTime":1482.53,"body":"surprised but I was very"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1477.73,"endTime":1482.53,"body":"impressed with the number of men"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1482.53,"endTime":1487.8999999999999,"body":"who responded to a post that you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1482.53,"endTime":1487.8999999999999,"body":"placed on Facebook who"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1488.1399999999999,"endTime":1493.12,"body":"acknowledge their own struggle"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1488.1399999999999,"endTime":1493.12,"body":"and the overwhelm and it's like"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1493.18,"endTime":1498.6399999999999,"body":"with that combined with the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1493.18,"endTime":1498.6399999999999,"body":"ongoing exhaustion and emotional"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1498.6399999999999,"endTime":1504.22,"body":"strain and so on who said Hey"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1498.6399999999999,"endTime":1504.22,"body":"dude, listen, I felt the same"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1504.22,"endTime":1507.37,"body":"way you know I'm like the kids"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1504.22,"endTime":1507.37,"body":"are kept me up all night and so"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1507.76,"endTime":1510.8799999999999,"body":"but the guys don't talk"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1507.76,"endTime":1510.8799999999999,"body":"about it. We haven't been"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1510.8799999999999,"endTime":1513.91,"body":"killed. We've been conditioned"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1510.8799999999999,"endTime":1513.91,"body":"not to Wow, I think it's just"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1513.91,"endTime":1516.01,"body":"the way that I think just"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1513.91,"endTime":1516.01,"body":"societal contract. We just we've"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1516.01,"endTime":1518.8899999999999,"body":"been conditioned to not speak"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1516.01,"endTime":1518.8899999999999,"body":"those things. Right?"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1519.25,"endTime":1524.86,"body":"What societal"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1519.25,"endTime":1524.86,"body":"contract? Yeah, I think I think"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1525.1299999999999,"endTime":1528.25,"body":"I think you're onto something."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1525.1299999999999,"endTime":1528.25,"body":"Yeah. It's like that piece of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1528.55,"endTime":1532.18,"body":"Men don't talk about their"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1528.55,"endTime":1532.18,"body":"vulnerabilities. If we say we"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1532.18,"endTime":1537.37,"body":"need if we're, if we're being"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1532.18,"endTime":1537.37,"body":"vulnerable, then we get judged"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1537.37,"endTime":1540.76,"body":"or we're perceived as weak when"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1537.37,"endTime":1540.76,"body":"in fact, it takes tremendous"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1540.76,"endTime":1544.24,"body":"strength and courage to be"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1540.76,"endTime":1544.24,"body":"vulnerable. And I just loved the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1544.24,"endTime":1547.3899999999999,"body":"way men responded to that post."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1547.449,"endTime":1549.309,"body":"It was nice, you know, it"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1547.449,"endTime":1549.309,"body":"was"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1549.34,"endTime":1551.77,"body":"comforting and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1549.34,"endTime":1551.77,"body":"reassuring at the time,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1553.03,"endTime":1554.98,"body":"cuz you don't realize"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1553.03,"endTime":1554.98,"body":"that they're all struggling."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1555.01,"endTime":1556.6299999999999,"body":"Yeah. You know,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1556.87,"endTime":1560.35,"body":"exactly. I'm"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1556.87,"endTime":1560.35,"body":"looking for my glasses. There."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1560.35,"endTime":1567.79,"body":"I'm like, Okay. Christian, I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1560.35,"endTime":1567.79,"body":"also wanted to ask you, you, we"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1567.79,"endTime":1571.84,"body":"haven't really talked a whole"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1567.79,"endTime":1571.84,"body":"lot about this. But you suffered"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1571.84,"endTime":1579.76,"body":"two miscarriages. Yeah. And for"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1571.84,"endTime":1579.76,"body":"both of you, I know, it was so"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1579.85,"endTime":1586.27,"body":"so incredibly disappointing. And"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1579.85,"endTime":1586.27,"body":"but I, we haven't really talked"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1586.27,"endTime":1588.55,"body":"a whole lot about what that was"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1586.27,"endTime":1588.55,"body":"like for you."},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1588.58,"endTime":1592.45,"body":"Yeah. No, it was. It"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1588.58,"endTime":1592.45,"body":"was extremely Yeah, I think. I"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1592.45,"endTime":1595.87,"body":"think disappointing is probably"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1592.45,"endTime":1595.87,"body":"the best word to describe it."},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1596.68,"endTime":1600.7,"body":"The pregnancy with Michaela came"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1596.68,"endTime":1600.7,"body":"so easy. So I think the"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1600.7,"endTime":1604.78,"body":"expectations for the second time"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1600.7,"endTime":1604.78,"body":"were that it was just going to"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1604.78,"endTime":1608.29,"body":"be easy. It was going to, you"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1604.78,"endTime":1608.29,"body":"know, happen on the first the"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1608.29,"endTime":1611.59,"body":"first shot like it did with her."},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1608.29,"endTime":1611.59,"body":"And you know, I didn't I think I"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1611.59,"endTime":1617.05,"body":"was just blindsided by the the"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1611.59,"endTime":1617.05,"body":"complications. Yeah. Yeah. But"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1617.05,"endTime":1619.6299999999999,"body":"it's it was definitely"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1617.05,"endTime":1619.6299999999999,"body":"disappointing. It was very sad."},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1621.07,"endTime":1624.1,"body":"You know, you the wheels start"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1621.07,"endTime":1624.1,"body":"to turn, you know, okay, well,"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1624.28,"endTime":1627.1,"body":"you hear about secondary"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1624.28,"endTime":1627.1,"body":"infertility is this is what is"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1627.1,"endTime":1630.91,"body":"this, to me is this, you know,"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1627.1,"endTime":1630.91,"body":"and then you know, the wheels"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1630.91,"endTime":1633.91,"body":"start to turn and you're just"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1630.91,"endTime":1633.91,"body":"like, Oh, my gosh, maybe this"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1633.91,"endTime":1638.1399999999999,"body":"isn't meant to be or, you know,"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1633.91,"endTime":1638.1399999999999,"body":"maybe we'll have a little bit"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1638.1399999999999,"endTime":1639.16,"body":"more trouble with this one,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1639.52,"endTime":1642.07,"body":"I think you can see,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1639.52,"endTime":1642.07,"body":"again, the amount of pressure"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1642.43,"endTime":1646.3,"body":"put on a female. Because the"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1642.43,"endTime":1646.3,"body":"same level of pressure of"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1646.3,"endTime":1648.8799999999999,"body":"breastfeeding, once again, the"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1646.3,"endTime":1648.8799999999999,"body":"pressure is on to be pregnant."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1649.36,"endTime":1652.51,"body":"Right? It's easy for the guy. We"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1649.36,"endTime":1652.51,"body":"have a very simple task, but"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1652.51,"endTime":1655.69,"body":"then it seems like all the"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1652.51,"endTime":1655.69,"body":"weight is on the female that,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1656.02,"endTime":1658.87,"body":"oh, is there something wrong"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1656.02,"endTime":1658.87,"body":"inside of you? Can you not hold?"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1658.87,"endTime":1660.8799999999999,"body":"Like, is there something wrong"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1658.87,"endTime":1660.8799999999999,"body":"with your uterus, like all these"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1660.8799999999999,"endTime":1663.1299999999999,"body":"different things, right? And"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1660.8799999999999,"endTime":1663.1299999999999,"body":"what is physic physiologically"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1663.1299999999999,"endTime":1666.34,"body":"wrong with you that, you know,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1663.1299999999999,"endTime":1666.34,"body":"you can't get pregnant? And I"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1666.34,"endTime":1668.68,"body":"remember telling Chris, and I'm"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1666.34,"endTime":1668.68,"body":"like, but why do you assume it's"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1668.68,"endTime":1673.57,"body":"you? Why do you assume it's you?"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1668.68,"endTime":1673.57,"body":"Well, because it has to be me?"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1673.87,"endTime":1678.25,"body":"Not necessarily, it could very"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1673.87,"endTime":1678.25,"body":"much be me. You know, there's"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1678.25,"endTime":1682.6,"body":"two of us here, but the default"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1678.25,"endTime":1682.6,"body":"emotion is, oh, it's the"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1682.6,"endTime":1684.8799999999999,"body":"pressures on me were the ones"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1682.6,"endTime":1684.8799999999999,"body":"getting pregnant were the ones"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1684.8799999999999,"endTime":1688.8999999999999,"body":"bearing. So if it's not working,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1684.8799999999999,"endTime":1688.8999999999999,"body":"it has to be my fault. Right? It"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1688.8999999999999,"endTime":1692.5,"body":"has there's a lot a lot of"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1688.8999999999999,"endTime":1692.5,"body":"negative weight put on females"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1692.5,"endTime":1696.1,"body":"to be mothers in any shape or"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1692.5,"endTime":1696.1,"body":"form. Well,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1696.1,"endTime":1698.56,"body":"because we hold a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1696.1,"endTime":1698.56,"body":"uterus and I think that with"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1698.56,"endTime":1702.85,"body":"that comes an unspoken"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1698.56,"endTime":1702.85,"body":"responsibility, that that is"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1702.85,"endTime":1708.8799999999999,"body":"implied inferred, felt, etc,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1702.85,"endTime":1708.8799999999999,"body":"that it is our job. And so when"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1708.8799999999999,"endTime":1711.43,"body":"something goes wrong, I think"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1708.8799999999999,"endTime":1711.43,"body":"women are much more inclined to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1711.43,"endTime":1715.24,"body":"say, oh, is there something"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1711.43,"endTime":1715.24,"body":"wrong with me? Did you talk"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1715.24,"endTime":1720.34,"body":"about miscarriage with your"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1715.24,"endTime":1720.34,"body":"friends or with mean, we talked"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1720.34,"endTime":1723.37,"body":"about it when you thought you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1720.34,"endTime":1723.37,"body":"were pregnant? And then and then"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1723.37,"endTime":1724.66,"body":"found out that you weren't?"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1724.689,"endTime":1732.849,"body":"Yeah. Yeah, I feel like"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1724.689,"endTime":1732.849,"body":"the topic is so I think just"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1732.849,"endTime":1736.209,"body":"makes people uncomfortable. So"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1732.849,"endTime":1736.209,"body":"if you say, Oh, hey, I had a"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1736.209,"endTime":1739.9289999999999,"body":"miscarriage. People don't know"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1736.209,"endTime":1739.9289999999999,"body":"what to say. They don't know."},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1740.949,"endTime":1743.979,"body":"They don't know if they have the"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1740.949,"endTime":1743.979,"body":"right to ask questions. They"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1743.979,"endTime":1753.789,"body":"don't know how to be there to to"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1743.979,"endTime":1753.789,"body":"support you. And so I think I"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1753.789,"endTime":1755.829,"body":"think it just makes me I think"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1753.789,"endTime":1755.829,"body":"it just makes people"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1755.829,"endTime":1757.719,"body":"uncomfortable. It's kind of I"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1755.829,"endTime":1757.719,"body":"mean, it's kind of like death,"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1757.719,"endTime":1759.789,"body":"right? Like, people don't know"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1757.719,"endTime":1759.789,"body":"what to say. There's nothing to"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1759.789,"endTime":1763.269,"body":"say that will make you feel"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1759.789,"endTime":1763.269,"body":"better. Really, it's more just"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1763.269,"endTime":1766.899,"body":"about having the support. But I"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1763.269,"endTime":1766.899,"body":"think yeah, I think it just"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1766.899,"endTime":1768.489,"body":"genuinely makes people"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1766.899,"endTime":1768.489,"body":"uncomfortable. So you don't"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1768.489,"endTime":1769.269,"body":"really talk about it."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1769.66,"endTime":1772.72,"body":"I don't think you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1769.66,"endTime":1772.72,"body":"if I remember correctly, you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1772.72,"endTime":1777.31,"body":"didn't get a lot of sympathy"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1772.72,"endTime":1777.31,"body":"empathy, acknowledgement from"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1777.31,"endTime":1779.5,"body":"your ob either. No,"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1780.1,"endTime":1782.71,"body":"it was more like okay,"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1780.1,"endTime":1782.71,"body":"well, if it happens again, then"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1782.71,"endTime":1788.47,"body":"we'll investigate. So I don't"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1782.71,"endTime":1788.47,"body":"know if that's because there's"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1788.53,"endTime":1792.76,"body":"in it all the time that they"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1788.53,"endTime":1792.76,"body":"that they know that it's normal."},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1792.94,"endTime":1795.82,"body":"And for someone who got pregnant"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1792.94,"endTime":1795.82,"body":"on the first shot, like it's, it"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1795.82,"endTime":1799.99,"body":"wasn't normal to me. So it made"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1795.82,"endTime":1799.99,"body":"me panic, whereas I think they"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1800.02,"endTime":1802.66,"body":"you know, they're in the thick"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1800.02,"endTime":1802.66,"body":"of it, so they can really be the"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1802.66,"endTime":1806.1399999999999,"body":"ones to judge whether or not"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1802.66,"endTime":1806.1399999999999,"body":"it's actually an issue or not,"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1806.1399999999999,"endTime":1811.6299999999999,"body":"but yeah, I mean, not having"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1806.1399999999999,"endTime":1811.6299999999999,"body":"that support from your doctor"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1811.6299999999999,"endTime":1813.97,"body":"either is, yeah, it sucks."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1814.87,"endTime":1818.71,"body":"It's very hard."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1814.87,"endTime":1818.71,"body":"And I think as you have just"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1818.71,"endTime":1822.52,"body":"described, miscarriage is one of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1818.71,"endTime":1822.52,"body":"those topics that people are"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1822.52,"endTime":1825.91,"body":"very uncomfortable talking"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1822.52,"endTime":1825.91,"body":"about. The grief is real,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1826.48,"endTime":1830.95,"body":"terribly, terribly painful. for"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1826.48,"endTime":1830.95,"body":"couples who all they want is to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1830.95,"endTime":1836.53,"body":"have a baby. And when you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1830.95,"endTime":1836.53,"body":"combine that with a generation"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1836.59,"endTime":1841.24,"body":"of adults who are used to the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1836.59,"endTime":1841.24,"body":"equation of if you work really"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1841.24,"endTime":1846.3999999999999,"body":"hard, you get success. This is"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1841.24,"endTime":1846.3999999999999,"body":"not something that you can say,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1846.3999999999999,"endTime":1848.83,"body":"Well, if I eat all the right"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1846.3999999999999,"endTime":1848.83,"body":"things, if I do all the right"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1848.83,"endTime":1853.0,"body":"things, I will get pregnant. It"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1848.83,"endTime":1853.0,"body":"just doesn't work that way. And"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1853.0,"endTime":1858.3999999999999,"body":"that in and of itself, can be"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1853.0,"endTime":1858.3999999999999,"body":"such a mind blower for people"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1858.3999999999999,"endTime":1861.1,"body":"who are used to doing all the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1858.3999999999999,"endTime":1861.1,"body":"right things, and then having"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1861.1299999999999,"endTime":1865.81,"body":"equal success follow just"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1861.1299999999999,"endTime":1865.81,"body":"doesn't work like that. And it"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1865.81,"endTime":1869.1399999999999,"body":"can be very frustrating,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1865.81,"endTime":1869.1399999999999,"body":"depressing, and leave people"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1869.1399999999999,"endTime":1872.56,"body":"feeling lost. What was it like"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1869.1399999999999,"endTime":1872.56,"body":"for you, Jason?"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1874.899,"endTime":1877.299,"body":"A little different,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1874.899,"endTime":1877.299,"body":"obviously, for for the husband,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1877.299,"endTime":1880.839,"body":"because we're not the ones"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1877.299,"endTime":1880.839,"body":"bearing and then losing. It's"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1880.839,"endTime":1883.089,"body":"not the same emotional response."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1880.839,"endTime":1883.089,"body":"Obviously, there's the"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1883.089,"endTime":1886.809,"body":"excitement of Oh, I'm going to"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1883.089,"endTime":1886.809,"body":"be a dad again. And you know,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1886.809,"endTime":1889.089,"body":"you have that high and then"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1886.809,"endTime":1889.089,"body":"obviously, you hit that low when"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1889.089,"endTime":1892.749,"body":"you find out. I think the"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1889.089,"endTime":1892.749,"body":"reaction is very personal to"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1892.749,"endTime":1895.389,"body":"Korea individually. For me,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1892.749,"endTime":1895.389,"body":"being someone who's very"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1895.389,"endTime":1898.329,"body":"analytical about life, and"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1895.389,"endTime":1898.329,"body":"everything's kind of an equation"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1898.329,"endTime":1903.939,"body":"for me. Yes, I felt pain and I"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1898.329,"endTime":1903.939,"body":"was sad, but I kind of just"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1903.939,"endTime":1908.109,"body":"looked at it as it's just not"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1903.939,"endTime":1908.109,"body":"the right time. I had to default"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1908.139,"endTime":1911.139,"body":"to it's just not the right time."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1908.139,"endTime":1911.139,"body":"One, I think, to cope with the"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1911.139,"endTime":1915.609,"body":"loss and also to you know, stay"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1911.139,"endTime":1915.609,"body":"positive and be like maybe now"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1915.609,"endTime":1917.979,"body":"just not the right moment."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1915.609,"endTime":1917.979,"body":"There's just a lot going on."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1918.639,"endTime":1923.139,"body":"When this child is ready to to"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1918.639,"endTime":1923.139,"body":"exist, it'll it'll fall into"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1923.139,"endTime":1927.099,"body":"place. And I look at Blake and I"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1923.139,"endTime":1927.099,"body":"can't help but think that that's"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1927.099,"endTime":1930.6689999999999,"body":"really all it is. Sometimes you"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1927.099,"endTime":1930.6689999999999,"body":"have to let go. I think we're so"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1930.6689999999999,"endTime":1933.009,"body":"focused on controlling"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1930.6689999999999,"endTime":1933.009,"body":"everything, especially myself"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1933.009,"endTime":1938.049,"body":"that I'm very OCD and I have to"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1933.009,"endTime":1938.049,"body":"be on top of everything. Life is"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1938.049,"endTime":1941.139,"body":"way too grand. And there are"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1938.049,"endTime":1941.139,"body":"things that you will never be"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1941.139,"endTime":1944.379,"body":"able to control and sometimes"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1941.139,"endTime":1944.379,"body":"you have to let go and let life"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1944.379,"endTime":1947.649,"body":"take its course and take things"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1944.379,"endTime":1947.649,"body":"as they happen. grieve through"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1947.649,"endTime":1951.309,"body":"them live through them be happy,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1947.649,"endTime":1951.309,"body":"but things will happen in their"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1951.309,"endTime":1952.719,"body":"own time have a very strong"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1951.309,"endTime":1952.719,"body":"believer"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1954.07,"endTime":1958.93,"body":"it's amazing how"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1954.07,"endTime":1958.93,"body":"when you release the attachment"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1958.93,"endTime":1962.44,"body":"to an outcome all of a sudden"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1958.93,"endTime":1962.44,"body":"things will just drop into your"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1962.44,"endTime":1962.8899999999999,"body":"lap"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1962.9189999999999,"endTime":1966.309,"body":"yeah yeah because I"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1962.9189999999999,"endTime":1966.309,"body":"mean I was like we were I was"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1966.309,"endTime":1969.999,"body":"like gung ho I was tracking my"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1966.309,"endTime":1969.999,"body":"ovulation I was this"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1970.03,"endTime":1972.82,"body":"I was obsessive like it"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1970.03,"endTime":1972.82,"body":"was next level Yeah, yeah."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1972.82,"endTime":1974.02,"body":"Because each month"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1974.08,"endTime":1977.44,"body":"so we started trying in"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1974.08,"endTime":1977.44,"body":"July each month I got a negative"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1977.44,"endTime":1981.3999999999999,"body":"test the more obsessive I became"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1977.44,"endTime":1981.3999999999999,"body":"about it. Yeah. And then I just"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1981.3999999999999,"endTime":1984.55,"body":"got to the point where after the"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1981.3999999999999,"endTime":1984.55,"body":"second the second miscarriage I"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1984.55,"endTime":1988.78,"body":"was like, You know what, like,"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1984.55,"endTime":1988.78,"body":"let's just take a breather and"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1988.78,"endTime":1989.74,"body":"then that's when we got pregnant"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1991.36,"endTime":1993.49,"body":"isn't it always the case"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":1991.36,"endTime":1993.49,"body":"just to let go"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1993.49,"endTime":1996.3999999999999,"body":"and let God and here"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":1993.49,"endTime":1996.3999999999999,"body":"she is"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1996.3999999999999,"endTime":2000.93,"body":"here she is. So"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1996.3999999999999,"endTime":2000.93,"body":"you have been parents a second"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2000.93,"endTime":2009.03,"body":"time for one week? Yeah. I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2000.93,"endTime":2009.03,"body":"arrived a week ago Friday and 26"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2009.03,"endTime":2016.5,"body":"hours later Christian you went"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2009.03,"endTime":2016.5,"body":"into labor divine divine timing"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2016.8899999999999,"endTime":2022.86,"body":"really by all by all measures"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2016.8899999999999,"endTime":2022.86,"body":"had a quick labor and very quick"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2022.8899999999999,"endTime":2027.54,"body":"Yes, and little Blake Olivia is"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2022.8899999999999,"endTime":2027.54,"body":"here and you heard me laugh"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2027.57,"endTime":2029.58,"body":"earlier because she was"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2027.57,"endTime":2029.58,"body":"squeaking while we were"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2029.58,"endTime":2034.86,"body":"interviewing there grisons been"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2029.58,"endTime":2034.86,"body":"holding her the whole time a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2034.86,"endTime":2038.79,"body":"very different vibe in the house"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2034.86,"endTime":2038.79,"body":"this time so different"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2039.48,"endTime":2041.67,"body":"when you think you're"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2039.48,"endTime":2041.67,"body":"past the chaos they quickly"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2041.67,"endTime":2044.22,"body":"remind you that you're just"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2041.67,"endTime":2044.22,"body":"starting all over again and the"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2044.22,"endTime":2049.2000000000003,"body":"dynamic of having a three year"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2044.22,"endTime":2049.2000000000003,"body":"old and then adding on a newborn"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2049.26,"endTime":2054.63,"body":"and the whole balancing act it"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2049.26,"endTime":2054.63,"body":"it'll happen very very quickly"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2054.63,"endTime":2059.1600000000003,"body":"because obviously we weren't"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2054.63,"endTime":2059.1600000000003,"body":"expecting labor that soon and"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2059.1600000000003,"endTime":2062.94,"body":"here we are right out of nowhere"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2059.1600000000003,"endTime":2062.94,"body":"I'm you know an hour away out of"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2062.94,"endTime":2066.48,"body":"town I drive back to to Montreal"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2062.94,"endTime":2066.48,"body":"and that same night we're in the"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2066.48,"endTime":2072.1800000000003,"body":"hospital. It definitely happened"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2066.48,"endTime":2072.1800000000003,"body":"quick but again, teamwork,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2072.1800000000003,"endTime":2078.3300000000004,"body":"right? I think people need to be"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2072.1800000000003,"endTime":2078.3300000000004,"body":"vulnerable with one another I"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2078.3300000000004,"endTime":2082.71,"body":"think husbands and wives really"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2078.3300000000004,"endTime":2082.71,"body":"need to learn to put their"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2082.71,"endTime":2085.77,"body":"guards down and talk to one"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2082.71,"endTime":2085.77,"body":"another and care for one another"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2085.77,"endTime":2089.5800000000004,"body":"and what do you need? What can I"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2085.77,"endTime":2089.5800000000004,"body":"do for you? How can I help you"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2089.5800000000004,"endTime":2093.27,"body":"and it goes both ways. And keep"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2089.5800000000004,"endTime":2093.27,"body":"it balanced? You know and"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2093.6600000000003,"endTime":2096.69,"body":"learning your strengths. You"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2093.6600000000003,"endTime":2096.69,"body":"know each parent has strengths"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2096.69,"endTime":2099.57,"body":"and weaknesses. I know I do I"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2096.69,"endTime":2099.57,"body":"have things that I'm very good"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2099.57,"endTime":2102.6600000000003,"body":"at. And I have things that I'm"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2099.57,"endTime":2102.6600000000003,"body":"horrible at but it's so happens"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2102.6600000000003,"endTime":2105.9900000000002,"body":"Kristin is amazing at them and"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2102.6600000000003,"endTime":2105.9900000000002,"body":"play your strengths like"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2106.02,"endTime":2109.0800000000004,"body":"anything right you know if"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2106.02,"endTime":2109.0800000000004,"body":"you're good at taking the kid"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2109.0800000000004,"endTime":2113.4300000000003,"body":"and going out in the car for an"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2109.0800000000004,"endTime":2113.4300000000003,"body":"hour do it. Yeah, everything is"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2113.4300000000003,"endTime":2116.8500000000004,"body":"a positive everyone has a"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2113.4300000000003,"endTime":2116.8500000000004,"body":"purpose. And every every counts."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2117.27,"endTime":2119.88,"body":"Beautiful."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2117.27,"endTime":2119.88,"body":"Kristen, what about you? What is"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2119.88,"endTime":2123.69,"body":"it like to be mama? To little"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2119.88,"endTime":2123.69,"body":"Blake"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2124.26,"endTime":2128.46,"body":"it's it's awesome. The"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2124.26,"endTime":2128.46,"body":"second time around I think"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2128.46,"endTime":2131.9700000000003,"body":"there's just so much easier. So"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2128.46,"endTime":2131.9700000000003,"body":"much easier. Every baby is"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2131.9700000000003,"endTime":2134.9100000000003,"body":"different. Every experience will"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2131.9700000000003,"endTime":2134.9100000000003,"body":"be different from one kid to the"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2134.9100000000003,"endTime":2138.21,"body":"next. But I think you're just so"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2134.9100000000003,"endTime":2138.21,"body":"much more comfortable in your"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2138.21,"endTime":2141.6600000000003,"body":"role as a parent, that you just"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2138.21,"endTime":2141.6600000000003,"body":"don't sweat the small stuff."},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2141.69,"endTime":2144.7200000000003,"body":"Yeah. And that you kind of"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2141.69,"endTime":2144.7200000000003,"body":"you're you have that sense of"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2144.7200000000003,"endTime":2148.2000000000003,"body":"Okay, I've been there done that."},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2144.7200000000003,"endTime":2148.2000000000003,"body":"They're going to be just fine. I"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2148.2000000000003,"endTime":2153.03,"body":"know what I'm doing. And I think"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2148.2000000000003,"endTime":2153.03,"body":"I think they vibe off of that."},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2153.0600000000004,"endTime":2156.3,"body":"Yeah, I think like she's, I"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2153.0600000000004,"endTime":2156.3,"body":"mean, listen, we're a week into"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2156.3,"endTime":2160.9500000000003,"body":"it. She's very chill may change."},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2156.3,"endTime":2160.9500000000003,"body":"But I think I think she really"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2160.9500000000003,"endTime":2163.38,"body":"kind of vibes off of off of the"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2160.9500000000003,"endTime":2163.38,"body":"energy."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2163.77,"endTime":2170.55,"body":"Oh, yeah. 100%"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2163.77,"endTime":2170.55,"body":"Yeah. 100%. She, she will. She"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2170.55,"endTime":2174.8100000000004,"body":"will just go with the flow. I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2170.55,"endTime":2174.8100000000004,"body":"think she knows. second child."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2175.26,"endTime":2179.4300000000003,"body":"Yeah. Easy. Yeah. Not all"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2175.26,"endTime":2179.4300000000003,"body":"second. Children are easy, but"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2179.4300000000003,"endTime":2184.9500000000003,"body":"you are okay. Well, thank you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2179.4300000000003,"endTime":2184.9500000000003,"body":"both very much. And thank you,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2184.9500000000003,"endTime":2186.8100000000004,"body":"Blake. Little squeaker."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2188.4,"endTime":2191.52,"body":"Thank you both very much for"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2188.4,"endTime":2191.52,"body":"sharing your perspectives your"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2191.52,"endTime":2195.6000000000004,"body":"insight. On a final note, do you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2191.52,"endTime":2195.6000000000004,"body":"have any advice or"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2195.6000000000004,"endTime":2199.59,"body":"recommendations for brand new"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2195.6000000000004,"endTime":2199.59,"body":"parents? Kristen, what would you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2199.92,"endTime":2204.3,"body":"offer up? I would say, don't be"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2199.92,"endTime":2204.3,"body":"shy to reach out to your"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2204.3,"endTime":2207.7200000000003,"body":"friends, to your family to those"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2204.3,"endTime":2207.7200000000003,"body":"Facebook groups because I feel"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2207.7200000000003,"endTime":2208.17,"body":"like"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2209.46,"endTime":2213.0,"body":"it's, it really is"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2209.46,"endTime":2213.0,"body":"there. There's so many pros and"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2213.0,"endTime":2215.88,"body":"cons to social media. And I"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2213.0,"endTime":2215.88,"body":"think this is one of its"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2215.88,"endTime":2218.34,"body":"strengths, especially if you"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2215.88,"endTime":2218.34,"body":"don't have friends that are"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2218.34,"endTime":2220.53,"body":"going through it at the same"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2218.34,"endTime":2220.53,"body":"time as you are haven't been"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2220.53,"endTime":2224.2200000000003,"body":"through it yet, which was our"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2220.53,"endTime":2224.2200000000003,"body":"case three years ago. I didn't"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2224.2200000000003,"endTime":2228.0,"body":"really have those girlfriends"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2224.2200000000003,"endTime":2228.0,"body":"that had kind of been there done"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2228.0,"endTime":2233.9100000000003,"body":"that to offer any advice. So the"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2228.0,"endTime":2233.9100000000003,"body":"mom groups really were my, my go"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2233.9100000000003,"endTime":2236.76,"body":"to Yeah, even in the middle of"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2233.9100000000003,"endTime":2236.76,"body":"the night, even in the middle of"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2236.76,"endTime":2239.4900000000002,"body":"the night. Because you know, if"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2236.76,"endTime":2239.4900000000002,"body":"you're a new mom, well then best"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2239.4900000000002,"endTime":2241.3500000000004,"body":"believe there's tons of other"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2239.4900000000002,"endTime":2241.3500000000004,"body":"new moms that are on their"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2241.3500000000004,"endTime":2243.2400000000002,"body":"phones at two o'clock in the"},{"speaker":"Kristen","startTime":2241.3500000000004,"endTime":2243.2400000000002,"body":"morning."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2252.3,"endTime":2254.0400000000004,"body":"where you don't"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2252.3,"endTime":2254.0400000000004,"body":"have to feel so alone. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2254.46,"endTime":2259.8,"body":"Yeah. Good stuff. Okay. What"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2254.46,"endTime":2259.8,"body":"about for you, Jason? Any advice"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2259.8,"endTime":2261.27,"body":"or recommendations?"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2262.71,"endTime":2264.15,"body":"For new dads? Yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2264.15,"endTime":2264.63,"body":"think."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2265.7400000000002,"endTime":2269.01,"body":"I mean, for both new dads and"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2265.7400000000002,"endTime":2269.01,"body":"new moms, I think it's more for"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2269.01,"endTime":2272.61,"body":"me of a team effort. I think"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2269.01,"endTime":2272.61,"body":"leave your pride and your ego"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2273.4500000000003,"endTime":2278.5800000000004,"body":"out the door and just be there"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2273.4500000000003,"endTime":2278.5800000000004,"body":"for one another, find empathy."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2279.1200000000003,"endTime":2283.1400000000003,"body":"Be compassionate, be"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2279.1200000000003,"endTime":2283.1400000000003,"body":"considerate. Don't get mad,"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2283.1400000000003,"endTime":2285.6000000000004,"body":"don't blame each other. No"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2283.1400000000003,"endTime":2285.6000000000004,"body":"matter how exhausted you are."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2286.65,"endTime":2289.2000000000003,"body":"It will push you to your limits."},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2286.65,"endTime":2289.2000000000003,"body":"But always remember that you"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2289.2000000000003,"endTime":2292.0800000000004,"body":"love one another. And you'll"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2289.2000000000003,"endTime":2292.0800000000004,"body":"you'll help each other get"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2292.0800000000004,"endTime":2294.36,"body":"through it. You're both gonna"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2292.0800000000004,"endTime":2294.36,"body":"row together and you'll you'll"},{"speaker":"Jason","startTime":2294.36,"endTime":2294.8100000000004,"body":"get there."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2295.5600000000004,"endTime":2298.53,"body":"Beautiful. Well,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2295.5600000000004,"endTime":2298.53,"body":"thank you both very much. It's a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2298.53,"endTime":2303.15,"body":"great note on which to say thank"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2298.53,"endTime":2303.15,"body":"you, and thank you to our three"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2303.15,"endTime":2308.52,"body":"listeners for tuning in. We"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2303.15,"endTime":2308.52,"body":"appreciate"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2310.8900000000003,"endTime":2312.9,"body":"all right. Thanks so much, guys."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":2310.8900000000003,"endTime":2312.9,"body":"Thank you."}]}