{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":28.639000000000003,"endTime":30.739,"body":"Okay, now I can"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":28.639000000000003,"endTime":30.739,"body":"hear you."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":30.919,"endTime":38.269000000000005,"body":"Yeah. I don't"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":30.919,"endTime":38.269000000000005,"body":"know if it's just going to be my"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":38.269000000000005,"endTime":43.429,"body":"speakers or what? I don't know."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":38.269000000000005,"endTime":43.429,"body":"Like the, the. The mic. I don't"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":43.429,"endTime":46.939,"body":"know if it's my mic anymore. So,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":43.429,"endTime":46.939,"body":"I don't know, but let's just do"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":46.939,"endTime":47.119,"body":"it."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":47.509,"endTime":50.659000000000006,"body":"Okay, let's just"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":47.509,"endTime":50.659000000000006,"body":"do it. So we're recording now."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":50.899,"endTime":54.319,"body":"Yes. Okay. I'm"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":50.899,"endTime":54.319,"body":"recording a separate file to."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":54.769000000000005,"endTime":57.049,"body":"Okay. Very good."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":54.769000000000005,"endTime":57.049,"body":"Okay, I'm just gonna get going."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":57.049,"endTime":62.299,"body":"Welcome, everybody. Welcome to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":57.049,"endTime":62.299,"body":"episode number four of therapist"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":62.299,"endTime":66.769,"body":"unplugged. And today my special"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":62.299,"endTime":66.769,"body":"guest is Cory Montfort, whose"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":66.769,"endTime":69.799,"body":"voice you've heard before Corey"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":66.769,"endTime":69.799,"body":"and I practice together at the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":69.799,"endTime":74.809,"body":"Montfort group in North Dallas."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":69.799,"endTime":74.809,"body":"And today's podcast might turn"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":74.809,"endTime":77.449,"body":"into a little bit of a rant, I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":74.809,"endTime":77.449,"body":"gotta say,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":78.92,"endTime":80.33,"body":"you know, I love"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":78.92,"endTime":80.33,"body":"those."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":82.31,"endTime":87.62,"body":"I this is this is"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":82.31,"endTime":87.62,"body":"a this is a hot topic for me."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":87.62,"endTime":91.91,"body":"And I don't know why I get so"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":87.62,"endTime":91.91,"body":"irritated by it. But anyway, I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":91.91,"endTime":95.3,"body":"will definitely be unplugged. So"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":91.91,"endTime":95.3,"body":"today's topic is about date"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":95.3,"endTime":101.66,"body":"night. The theme is date night"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":95.3,"endTime":101.66,"body":"is a feeling, not a destination."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":101.87,"endTime":107.36,"body":"Oh. And the reason I think that"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":101.87,"endTime":107.36,"body":"this is an important topic is"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":107.36,"endTime":111.35,"body":"because date night comes up a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":107.36,"endTime":111.35,"body":"lot. When couples come into my"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":111.35,"endTime":116.3,"body":"office, and I asked questions"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":111.35,"endTime":116.3,"body":"about how do you spend time"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":116.3,"endTime":121.79,"body":"together? How do you prioritize"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":116.3,"endTime":121.79,"body":"your relationship? And date"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":121.79,"endTime":127.22,"body":"night comes up a lot. But you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":121.79,"endTime":127.22,"body":"know, date night is not just"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":127.22,"endTime":131.72,"body":"making a reservation, having a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":127.22,"endTime":131.72,"body":"nice dinner, if you're going to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":131.72,"endTime":133.37,"body":"spend the evening on your phone."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":133.94,"endTime":140.6,"body":"Right. Right. Or,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":133.94,"endTime":140.6,"body":"or just talking about the kids?"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":140.84,"endTime":145.31,"body":"Yes, you know, or something"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":140.84,"endTime":145.31,"body":"administrative or I've seen"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":145.31,"endTime":150.17000000000002,"body":"people. I mean, you don't need a"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":145.31,"endTime":150.17000000000002,"body":"reservation to just stare at"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":150.17000000000002,"endTime":153.53,"body":"somebody across the booth at"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":150.17000000000002,"endTime":153.53,"body":"Chili's, you know, like, how"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":153.53,"endTime":156.23000000000002,"body":"they just, you know, we've seen"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":153.53,"endTime":156.23000000000002,"body":"those people that just like,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":156.65,"endTime":159.11,"body":"What are you doing, you might as"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":156.65,"endTime":159.11,"body":"well just eat at home in front"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":159.11,"endTime":160.55,"body":"of the TV, you're not talking?"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":161.6,"endTime":166.28,"body":"You're absolutely"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":161.6,"endTime":166.28,"body":"not talking. And I don't know"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":166.28,"endTime":172.19,"body":"why changing the location, or"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":166.28,"endTime":172.19,"body":"the destination necessarily"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":172.22,"endTime":175.67,"body":"constitutes a date night when I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":172.22,"endTime":175.67,"body":"think you can have date night,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":175.88,"endTime":181.34,"body":"under your own roof. What do you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":175.88,"endTime":181.34,"body":"think about when you hear the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":181.34,"endTime":184.88,"body":"expression date night? Like, do"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":181.34,"endTime":184.88,"body":"you do you and your significant"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":184.88,"endTime":186.35,"body":"other good on date nights?"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":187.25,"endTime":191.39000000000001,"body":"We do. You know,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":187.25,"endTime":191.39000000000001,"body":"we don't live together. So I"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":191.39000000000001,"endTime":197.57,"body":"think it's easier for us to"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":191.39000000000001,"endTime":197.57,"body":"experience that feeling whether"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":197.57,"endTime":201.74,"body":"we're hanging out at one"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":197.57,"endTime":201.74,"body":"another's house or going out so"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":201.74,"endTime":204.53,"body":"I can kind of understand what"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":201.74,"endTime":204.53,"body":"you're saying. But I've also"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":204.53,"endTime":211.1,"body":"been married before. And I think"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":204.53,"endTime":211.1,"body":"sometimes, if you don't know"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":212.15,"endTime":216.02,"body":"what kind of feeling you're"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":212.15,"endTime":216.02,"body":"after, it doesn't really matter"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":216.02,"endTime":220.28,"body":"the destination, whether you're"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":216.02,"endTime":220.28,"body":"at a really nice restaurant, or,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":220.58,"endTime":225.65,"body":"you know, at home watching"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":220.58,"endTime":225.65,"body":"something on TV, if you don't"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":225.65,"endTime":231.62,"body":"know how to be together to spark"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":225.65,"endTime":231.62,"body":"something to feel vulnerable or"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":231.62,"endTime":235.25,"body":"excited or adventurous. I think"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":231.62,"endTime":235.25,"body":"you know, you're absolutely"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":235.25,"endTime":241.85,"body":"right. I think therein lies the"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":235.25,"endTime":241.85,"body":"problem. The the the normalcy of"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":241.85,"endTime":245.84,"body":"being together all the time can"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":241.85,"endTime":245.84,"body":"kind of take over right? It's so"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":245.99,"endTime":251.45,"body":"hard to feel adventurous. And"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":245.99,"endTime":251.45,"body":"what does that look like? So"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":251.48,"endTime":254.09,"body":"when you say you are going to go"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":251.48,"endTime":254.09,"body":"on you, oh, I'm going to go on a"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":254.09,"endTime":261.16999999999996,"body":"rant about this. Because is it"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":254.09,"endTime":261.16999999999996,"body":"because you want the couples to"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":261.16999999999996,"endTime":264.86,"body":"feel that sense of adventure,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":261.16999999999996,"endTime":264.86,"body":"when they're together?"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":265.88,"endTime":269.53999999999996,"body":"I wonder if it"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":265.88,"endTime":269.53999999999996,"body":"doesn't come from more of a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":269.93,"endTime":274.64,"body":"frustration with the ability to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":269.93,"endTime":274.64,"body":"be fully present with one"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":274.64,"endTime":279.11,"body":"another as opposed to being"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":274.64,"endTime":279.11,"body":"transactional. Because daily"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":279.11,"endTime":282.89,"body":"life can be very transactional."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":279.11,"endTime":282.89,"body":"When you have young children"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":282.89,"endTime":287.12,"body":"careers. Perhaps one partner is"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":282.89,"endTime":287.12,"body":"traveling a lot on business now"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":287.12,"endTime":290.65999999999997,"body":"that the airlines have opened"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":287.12,"endTime":290.65999999999997,"body":"up, there can be a lot of things"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":290.65999999999997,"endTime":295.85,"body":"that get in the way of finding"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":290.65999999999997,"endTime":295.85,"body":"time together. Yeah. And date"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":295.85,"endTime":303.86,"body":"night. Seems to be the solution"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":295.85,"endTime":303.86,"body":"or what I hear as the solution"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":303.86,"endTime":308.17999999999995,"body":"to we feel as though we don't"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":303.86,"endTime":308.17999999999995,"body":"feel as connected as we used to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":308.39,"endTime":311.72,"body":"when our life was simpler. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":308.39,"endTime":311.72,"body":"you know, and if you listened to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":311.72,"endTime":315.23,"body":"the one of the previous podcasts"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":311.72,"endTime":315.23,"body":"where Jason and Chris and talk"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":315.23,"endTime":318.86,"body":"about life with children, it's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":315.23,"endTime":318.86,"body":"pretty clear that your whole"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":318.86,"endTime":322.25,"body":"life changes. You're exhausted"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":318.86,"endTime":322.25,"body":"in ways you've never experienced"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":322.25,"endTime":327.32000000000005,"body":"before. But sometimes connection"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":322.25,"endTime":327.32000000000005,"body":"b can be found in very small"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":327.35,"endTime":332.24,"body":"nuggets of time. I'm, and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":327.35,"endTime":332.24,"body":"actually this came up I had a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":332.24,"endTime":337.82000000000005,"body":"client recently asked me, How do"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":332.24,"endTime":337.82000000000005,"body":"you be fully present in a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":337.82000000000005,"endTime":342.83000000000004,"body":"relationship? And I thought that"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":337.82000000000005,"endTime":342.83000000000004,"body":"was a really interesting"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":342.83000000000004,"endTime":347.84000000000003,"body":"question. Yeah, it's a big one."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":342.83000000000004,"endTime":347.84000000000003,"body":"It's a big one. But two, they"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":347.84000000000003,"endTime":350.57000000000005,"body":"had just come back from a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":347.84000000000003,"endTime":350.57000000000005,"body":"vacation where they both"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":350.57000000000005,"endTime":354.89,"body":"realized that they had not been"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":350.57000000000005,"endTime":354.89,"body":"feeding, or paying attention to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":354.89,"endTime":360.71000000000004,"body":"their relationship, busy"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":354.89,"endTime":360.71000000000004,"body":"careers, parents, parenting, a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":360.71000000000004,"endTime":364.73,"body":"toddler and all of those things."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":360.71000000000004,"endTime":364.73,"body":"And I thought, you know, you can"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":364.73,"endTime":369.5,"body":"have date night, even when your"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":364.73,"endTime":369.5,"body":"time is really limited. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":369.59000000000003,"endTime":371.78,"body":"yeah, I was just"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":369.59000000000003,"endTime":371.78,"body":"thinking to, as you said that I"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":371.78,"endTime":379.34000000000003,"body":"think people, like, a lot of"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":371.78,"endTime":379.34000000000003,"body":"times when you go home, and I've"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":379.34000000000003,"endTime":384.04999999999995,"body":"heard this a lot from women,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":379.34000000000003,"endTime":384.04999999999995,"body":"especially, like, they go home,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":384.08000000000004,"endTime":389.21000000000004,"body":"they view the home as a place of"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":384.08000000000004,"endTime":389.21000000000004,"body":"work, not as a place of rest."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":389.57000000000005,"endTime":393.5,"body":"And so I kind of understand"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":389.57000000000005,"endTime":393.5,"body":"trying to get out of the"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":393.5,"endTime":398.21000000000004,"body":"familiar space of work so that"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":393.5,"endTime":398.21000000000004,"body":"you can transition into more of"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":398.21000000000004,"endTime":400.73,"body":"the playful side of yourself."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":398.21000000000004,"endTime":400.73,"body":"And I think that's what you're"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":400.73,"endTime":406.25,"body":"kind of describing is, how can"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":400.73,"endTime":406.25,"body":"you be playful, in a place of so"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":406.25,"endTime":410.80999999999995,"body":"much work have so much"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":406.25,"endTime":410.80999999999995,"body":"responsibilities, I will tell"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":410.80999999999995,"endTime":413.69000000000005,"body":"you, you know, you asked about"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":410.80999999999995,"endTime":413.69000000000005,"body":"my significant other and dating"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":413.69000000000005,"endTime":421.4,"body":"and we have this long standing"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":413.69000000000005,"endTime":421.4,"body":"pattern of going to a pool hall."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":421.66999999999996,"endTime":427.13,"body":"And, and playing pool, we could"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":421.66999999999996,"endTime":427.13,"body":"do anything we could we could go"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":427.13,"endTime":430.30999999999995,"body":"out, you know, for a nice"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":427.13,"endTime":430.30999999999995,"body":"dinner, we could, but that ended"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":430.30999999999995,"endTime":433.76,"body":"up being one of the more"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":430.30999999999995,"endTime":433.76,"body":"memorable routines that we had"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":433.76,"endTime":437.84000000000003,"body":"was this kind of smoky pool hall"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":433.76,"endTime":437.84000000000003,"body":"that we would go and, and play"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":437.84000000000003,"endTime":443.69000000000005,"body":"pool and get around and listen"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":437.84000000000003,"endTime":443.69000000000005,"body":"to bad karaoke. And, and, and"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":443.9,"endTime":448.37,"body":"because it was playful, and it"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":443.9,"endTime":448.37,"body":"wasn't so because we we do we"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":448.37,"endTime":452.03,"body":"both have busy careers and"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":448.37,"endTime":452.03,"body":"children and, and, you know,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":452.15,"endTime":455.24,"body":"problems just like everybody"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":452.15,"endTime":455.24,"body":"else. And you can kind of get"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":455.24,"endTime":459.44000000000005,"body":"stuck trying to just talk about"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":455.24,"endTime":459.44000000000005,"body":"those things all the time. So I"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":459.44000000000005,"endTime":464.51,"body":"do like the the word playful"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":459.44000000000005,"endTime":464.51,"body":"when I think of It's a feeling"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":464.51,"endTime":470.39,"body":"rather than a destination. And"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":464.51,"endTime":470.39,"body":"how can you feel playful? Even"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":470.39,"endTime":472.03999999999996,"body":"at home? You know?"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":472.58000000000004,"endTime":475.4,"body":"That's a that's a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":472.58000000000004,"endTime":475.4,"body":"great point. Cory, that's a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":475.4,"endTime":478.66999999999996,"body":"great point. I haven't had"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":475.4,"endTime":478.66999999999996,"body":"children at home for a gazillion"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":478.66999999999996,"endTime":485.51,"body":"years. But when we were getting"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":478.66999999999996,"endTime":485.51,"body":"ready for Halloween, just"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":485.51,"endTime":488.69000000000005,"body":"putting up the decorations"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":485.51,"endTime":488.69000000000005,"body":"scaring the living bejesus out"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":488.69000000000005,"endTime":491.36,"body":"of kids. I mean, to the extent"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":488.69000000000005,"endTime":491.36,"body":"they wouldn't come up our friend"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":491.36,"endTime":499.1,"body":"walk. They're walking by I guess"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":491.36,"endTime":499.1,"body":"our work is done. Yeah. But it"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":499.1,"endTime":504.23,"body":"was so much fun. We are playing,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":499.1,"endTime":504.23,"body":"we are playing. Yes, I think you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":504.23,"endTime":508.34000000000003,"body":"hit on a really but a really"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":504.23,"endTime":508.34000000000003,"body":"important point about"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":508.34000000000003,"endTime":513.86,"body":"playfulness, as opposed to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":508.34000000000003,"endTime":513.86,"body":"transaction. And I guess to the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":513.86,"endTime":518.42,"body":"other thing that you've"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":513.86,"endTime":518.42,"body":"highlighted. For me, because"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":518.42,"endTime":522.77,"body":"I've been out of this scenario"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":518.42,"endTime":522.77,"body":"for such a long time, is when"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":522.77,"endTime":526.49,"body":"you're at home full time with"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":522.77,"endTime":526.49,"body":"children, the household can feel"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":526.49,"endTime":529.7,"body":"like a place of work, like I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":526.49,"endTime":529.7,"body":"just got to get out of here. Can"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":529.7,"endTime":535.25,"body":"we just get away? And pretend"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":529.7,"endTime":535.25,"body":"for a minute that it's just just"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":535.25,"endTime":540.11,"body":"have the two of us like how do"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":535.25,"endTime":540.11,"body":"we make our relationship a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":540.11,"endTime":540.98,"body":"priority?"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":541.01,"endTime":544.04,"body":"Exactly. And I"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":541.01,"endTime":544.04,"body":"will say, thing that I've talked"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":544.04,"endTime":547.22,"body":"with couples about over the"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":544.04,"endTime":547.22,"body":"course of the pandemic as well,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":547.22,"endTime":552.8299999999999,"body":"because that wasn't really an"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":547.22,"endTime":552.8299999999999,"body":"option can use to be still an"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":552.8299999999999,"endTime":557.99,"body":"obstacle for people, whether"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":552.8299999999999,"endTime":557.99,"body":"it's just getting daycare, or"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":558.02,"endTime":563.24,"body":"you know, going somewhere isn't"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":558.02,"endTime":563.24,"body":"always the safest option for"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":563.24,"endTime":568.4,"body":"people. Something still or shut"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":563.24,"endTime":568.4,"body":"down. And so throughout the"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":568.4,"endTime":572.12,"body":"worst of it, remember time"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":568.4,"endTime":572.12,"body":"people listen, we're going to"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":572.12,"endTime":579.8299999999999,"body":"have to start creating spaces"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":572.12,"endTime":579.8299999999999,"body":"that allow you to play or you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":579.8299999999999,"endTime":582.41,"body":"know, because they were working"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":579.8299999999999,"endTime":582.41,"body":"from home too. So you got"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":582.41,"endTime":585.62,"body":"working right? Then you have"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":582.41,"endTime":585.62,"body":"parenting from home, a lot of"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":585.62,"endTime":588.68,"body":"times schooling from home, and"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":585.62,"endTime":588.68,"body":"now you're still supposed to"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":588.68,"endTime":593.51,"body":"feel, you know, connected"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":588.68,"endTime":593.51,"body":"emotionally and sexually to your"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":593.51,"endTime":598.79,"body":"partner at home. And that"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":593.51,"endTime":598.79,"body":"requires playfulness. Where do"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":598.79,"endTime":602.93,"body":"you do that? And so how do we"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":598.79,"endTime":602.93,"body":"transition? And sometimes I'd"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":602.93,"endTime":607.49,"body":"have people like just designate"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":602.93,"endTime":607.49,"body":"a space that has boundaries"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":607.49,"endTime":611.3299999999999,"body":"around it. Whether that means"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":607.49,"endTime":611.3299999999999,"body":"even if they're single and they"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":611.3299999999999,"endTime":614.54,"body":"just need to relax because"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":611.3299999999999,"endTime":614.54,"body":"they're like, I gotta go"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":614.54,"endTime":617.63,"body":"somewhere I you know, and I"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":614.54,"endTime":617.63,"body":"can't I can't, you know, we"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":617.63,"endTime":621.53,"body":"can't travel we can't like maybe"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":617.63,"endTime":621.53,"body":"one room in your house is just"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":621.53,"endTime":627.17,"body":"for just for reading or just for"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":621.53,"endTime":627.17,"body":"the adults in the room where you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":627.17,"endTime":630.4399999999999,"body":"have some sort of boundary Like,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":627.17,"endTime":630.4399999999999,"body":"this is where we watch movies"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":630.4399999999999,"endTime":635.03,"body":"and we don't carry our phones up"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":630.4399999999999,"endTime":635.03,"body":"here, or something to where"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":635.3,"endTime":640.22,"body":"you're, you're reinventing your"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":635.3,"endTime":640.22,"body":"home for the new way of living."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":641.0,"endTime":644.18,"body":"Because we can't all afford to"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":641.0,"endTime":644.18,"body":"go out all the time, right?"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":644.18,"endTime":646.88,"body":"No, that's very"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":644.18,"endTime":646.88,"body":"true. I think also, there's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":646.88,"endTime":649.37,"body":"something about being"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":646.88,"endTime":649.37,"body":"intentional in regards to what"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":649.37,"endTime":654.26,"body":"you just said, There's something"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":649.37,"endTime":654.26,"body":"about being intentional. I think"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":654.26,"endTime":659.2099999999999,"body":"of a good friend of mine who had"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":654.26,"endTime":659.2099999999999,"body":"five children in 10 years. And"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":659.2099999999999,"endTime":664.04,"body":"the children got dinner every"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":659.2099999999999,"endTime":664.04,"body":"night before they did. And every"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":664.04,"endTime":668.36,"body":"night, this couple would light"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":664.04,"endTime":668.36,"body":"candles and have dinner"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":668.36,"endTime":672.53,"body":"together. The kids were in bed,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":668.36,"endTime":672.53,"body":"and that was how they connected"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":672.53,"endTime":675.98,"body":"and stayed connected. And now"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":672.53,"endTime":675.98,"body":"they've been married for like,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":675.98,"endTime":681.17,"body":"40 plus years. Yeah, you know,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":675.98,"endTime":681.17,"body":"but it was so intentional about"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":681.17,"endTime":685.28,"body":"how they live their lives to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":681.17,"endTime":685.28,"body":"ensure they had time just for"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":685.28,"endTime":689.78,"body":"them. Because with five"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":685.28,"endTime":689.78,"body":"children, you know, who had some"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":689.78,"endTime":690.53,"body":"health issues."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":691.88,"endTime":693.74,"body":"And other things"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":691.88,"endTime":693.74,"body":"that would have been very easy"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":693.74,"endTime":698.24,"body":"to just ride the wave of life"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":693.74,"endTime":698.24,"body":"being focused on children, it's"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":698.24,"endTime":704.36,"body":"very easy to do that. Yeah. very"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":698.24,"endTime":704.36,"body":"understandable how one can lose"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":704.36,"endTime":711.47,"body":"their sense of identity as an"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":704.36,"endTime":711.47,"body":"adult and as a partner, through"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":711.8,"endTime":715.52,"body":"the role of parenting."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":711.8,"endTime":715.52,"body":"Absolutely, very understandable,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":715.52,"endTime":718.91,"body":"because they need so much. And"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":715.52,"endTime":718.91,"body":"it's such a huge responsibility."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":719.78,"endTime":722.9,"body":"So I really try to remind"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":719.78,"endTime":722.9,"body":"couples, first and foremost that"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":722.93,"endTime":726.3199999999999,"body":"they didn't get where they're at"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":722.93,"endTime":726.3199999999999,"body":"in their relationship, whether"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":726.3199999999999,"endTime":728.9599999999999,"body":"it's because they feel"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":726.3199999999999,"endTime":728.9599999999999,"body":"disconnected or whatnot. On"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":728.9599999999999,"endTime":732.38,"body":"purpose. They didn't wake up one"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":728.9599999999999,"endTime":732.38,"body":"day and say, I think we'll just"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":732.38,"endTime":733.5799999999999,"body":"stop being fun."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":735.02,"endTime":737.54,"body":"You know, stop"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":735.02,"endTime":737.54,"body":"having sex, or we'll stop having"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":737.54,"endTime":738.68,"body":"some time together."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":738.74,"endTime":741.9499999999999,"body":"Yeah, but I just"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":738.74,"endTime":741.9499999999999,"body":"love this, this whole, the"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":741.9499999999999,"endTime":745.37,"body":"phrase that you've you've,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":741.9499999999999,"endTime":745.37,"body":"you've started with, which is"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":745.37,"endTime":749.03,"body":"it's a feeling not a"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":745.37,"endTime":749.03,"body":"destination, because a lot of"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":749.03,"endTime":751.88,"body":"couples don't know why they"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":749.03,"endTime":751.88,"body":"don't want to have sex, you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":751.88,"endTime":756.5899999999999,"body":"know, they? Well, if, you know,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":751.88,"endTime":756.5899999999999,"body":"if he would help me more around"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":756.5899999999999,"endTime":760.1899999999999,"body":"the house, or if I felt more"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":756.5899999999999,"endTime":760.1899999999999,"body":"rested or whatever, but some of"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":760.1899999999999,"endTime":764.27,"body":"that probably contributes. But I"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":760.1899999999999,"endTime":764.27,"body":"think a large part of it is we"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":764.27,"endTime":768.8299999999999,"body":"don't know how to play. And it's"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":764.27,"endTime":768.8299999999999,"body":"such a, it's a word I use"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":768.86,"endTime":770.8399999999999,"body":"frequently, because and"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":768.86,"endTime":770.8399999999999,"body":"sometimes it makes people"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":770.8399999999999,"endTime":777.14,"body":"uncomfortable. Like play, that's"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":770.8399999999999,"endTime":777.14,"body":"not something adults do. You"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":777.14,"endTime":782.99,"body":"know, so sometimes I might send"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":777.14,"endTime":782.99,"body":"them on a little trip to the"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":782.99,"endTime":787.8199999999999,"body":"park just by themselves to"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":782.99,"endTime":787.8199999999999,"body":"literally play. And it feels"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":787.8199999999999,"endTime":790.88,"body":"vulnerable and weird. And all"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":787.8199999999999,"endTime":790.88,"body":"that stuff is because they're"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":790.88,"endTime":797.24,"body":"just, they've been out of touch"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":790.88,"endTime":797.24,"body":"with that. So I can understand"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":797.24,"endTime":799.9399999999999,"body":"how it gets there. But I think"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":797.24,"endTime":799.9399999999999,"body":"you know, that's what part of"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":799.9399999999999,"endTime":804.9499999999999,"body":"our job is to remind them that"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":799.9399999999999,"endTime":804.9499999999999,"body":"it's that feeling of sometimes I"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":804.9499999999999,"endTime":809.06,"body":"say it's that feeling of your"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":804.9499999999999,"endTime":809.06,"body":"playful side is the one that"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":809.06,"endTime":813.29,"body":"goes into the gas station when"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":809.06,"endTime":813.29,"body":"you're filling up with gas, and"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":813.29,"endTime":817.28,"body":"then decides what candy bar do I"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":813.29,"endTime":817.28,"body":"want? You know, do I want a Red"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":817.28,"endTime":822.65,"body":"Bull? What music am I going to"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":817.28,"endTime":822.65,"body":"listen to? On my on my drive?"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":822.8,"endTime":828.29,"body":"Yeah, playful, like adventurous"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":822.8,"endTime":828.29,"body":"side that should be shared with"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":828.29,"endTime":832.6999999999999,"body":"your partner kind of like what"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":828.29,"endTime":832.6999999999999,"body":"you and your husband were were"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":832.6999999999999,"endTime":836.4499999999999,"body":"experiencing on Halloween night."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":832.6999999999999,"endTime":836.4499999999999,"body":"Right? You know, that"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":836.48,"endTime":838.01,"body":"togetherness, that adventure?"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":838.61,"endTime":841.52,"body":"It was a lot of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":838.61,"endTime":841.52,"body":"fun, and it was very playful. I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":841.52,"endTime":846.41,"body":"think that's an important part"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":841.52,"endTime":846.41,"body":"of it. How do we do you have any"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":846.41,"endTime":850.9399999999999,"body":"particular recommendations for"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":846.41,"endTime":850.9399999999999,"body":"how couples can be both present"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":850.97,"endTime":854.75,"body":"and playful? In other words, you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":850.97,"endTime":854.75,"body":"know, not everybody has time to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":854.75,"endTime":858.1999999999999,"body":"take a little trip somewhere."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":854.75,"endTime":858.1999999999999,"body":"And you don't want to wait until"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":858.1999999999999,"endTime":861.29,"body":"you can take a long weekend away"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":858.1999999999999,"endTime":861.29,"body":"from children to feel as though"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":861.29,"endTime":864.53,"body":"you really connect with your"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":861.29,"endTime":864.53,"body":"partner. I think it's almost an"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":864.53,"endTime":868.64,"body":"intentional daily practice, or a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":864.53,"endTime":868.64,"body":"weekend practice or it's"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":868.79,"endTime":873.26,"body":"something that you set your"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":868.79,"endTime":873.26,"body":"sights on and you commit to or"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":873.26,"endTime":877.91,"body":"you maintain that priority of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":873.26,"endTime":877.91,"body":"feeding the relationship I loved"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":877.91,"endTime":881.54,"body":"when my client said about Gosh,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":877.91,"endTime":881.54,"body":"we've been starving ourselves."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":881.5699999999999,"endTime":887.2099999999999,"body":"Yeah. Right by not by not making"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":881.5699999999999,"endTime":887.2099999999999,"body":"the time and by letting other"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":887.2099999999999,"endTime":890.27,"body":"things take over our lives. So"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":887.2099999999999,"endTime":890.27,"body":"I'm just wondering, do you hear"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":890.27,"endTime":893.8399999999999,"body":"from clients or do you make"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":890.27,"endTime":893.8399999999999,"body":"recommendations about how to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":893.8399999999999,"endTime":895.43,"body":"address that in their"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":893.8399999999999,"endTime":895.43,"body":"relationships?"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":895.4599999999999,"endTime":900.35,"body":"I do. I think it"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":895.4599999999999,"endTime":900.35,"body":"takes it's very unique to them."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":900.62,"endTime":903.68,"body":"And so I think it just takes a"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":900.62,"endTime":903.68,"body":"little bit of trial and error."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":904.28,"endTime":907.61,"body":"Because what works for some"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":904.28,"endTime":907.61,"body":"couples might not work for"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":907.61,"endTime":913.43,"body":"others. So sometimes I'll I'll"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":907.61,"endTime":913.43,"body":"jump start it by by saying okay,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":913.6999999999999,"endTime":918.1999999999999,"body":"what would you both be willing"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":913.6999999999999,"endTime":918.1999999999999,"body":"to go do that sounds adventurous"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":918.1999999999999,"endTime":924.53,"body":"and so we'll start with more of"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":918.1999999999999,"endTime":924.53,"body":"an obvious like the the put is"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":924.53,"endTime":925.4,"body":"that place where you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":925.879,"endTime":929.809,"body":"like jump in like"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":925.879,"endTime":929.809,"body":"a tree trampoline room. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":929.81,"endTime":933.4399999999999,"body":"like something"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":929.81,"endTime":933.4399999999999,"body":"like that, or, or going to those"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":933.4399999999999,"endTime":939.4399999999999,"body":"racecar, like the go kart or"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":933.4399999999999,"endTime":939.4399999999999,"body":"kharsia to go kart to where they"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":939.5,"endTime":942.89,"body":"and they, they leave their"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":939.5,"endTime":942.89,"body":"phones, you know, in the car or"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":942.89,"endTime":946.5799999999999,"body":"at home or whatever. And so"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":942.89,"endTime":946.5799999999999,"body":"they're actually participating"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":946.61,"endTime":953.48,"body":"in some sort of game activity or"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":946.61,"endTime":953.48,"body":"activity together. And what we"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":953.48,"endTime":958.1,"body":"do know is that when you have"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":953.48,"endTime":958.1,"body":"something that you're building"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":958.1,"endTime":964.16,"body":"adrenaline together, it does"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":958.1,"endTime":964.16,"body":"create connection. And so, it"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":964.1899999999999,"endTime":969.02,"body":"that is an important piece to"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":964.1899999999999,"endTime":969.02,"body":"that playful thing, in my"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":969.02,"endTime":971.03,"body":"opinion, that doesn't mean"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":969.02,"endTime":971.03,"body":"you're always going to be able"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":971.03,"endTime":975.29,"body":"to go out and do putt putt golf,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":971.03,"endTime":975.29,"body":"or whatever that might be. But"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":975.4399999999999,"endTime":978.41,"body":"sense of humor is really"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":975.4399999999999,"endTime":978.41,"body":"important. I think that's what"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":978.41,"endTime":982.73,"body":"you described, you know, for you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":978.41,"endTime":982.73,"body":"and your partner the other"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":982.73,"endTime":987.26,"body":"night, having that sense of"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":982.73,"endTime":987.26,"body":"humor. Sometimes that's watching"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":987.26,"endTime":991.16,"body":"something on TV, something"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":987.26,"endTime":991.16,"body":"sometimes sharing some funny"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":991.16,"endTime":995.06,"body":"memes together, right? Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":991.16,"endTime":995.06,"body":"it's about being together when"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":995.06,"endTime":999.02,"body":"you're feeling that way. And I"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":995.06,"endTime":999.02,"body":"think a lot of us, the more"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":999.02,"endTime":1002.5,"body":"often you're with your partner,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":999.02,"endTime":1002.5,"body":"you take for granted that that"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1002.5,"endTime":1007.75,"body":"availability of a friend, like"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1002.5,"endTime":1007.75,"body":"remember, this person isn't just"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1007.75,"endTime":1011.92,"body":"your roommate, your co parent,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1007.75,"endTime":1011.92,"body":"or you know, someone that you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1011.92,"endTime":1018.01,"body":"tag team with this person is"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1011.92,"endTime":1018.01,"body":"laughed with. That's right. It's"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1018.01,"endTime":1023.47,"body":"very well, how do we get people"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1018.01,"endTime":1023.47,"body":"to start smiling together?"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1024.28,"endTime":1027.49,"body":"Yeah. And I think"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1024.28,"endTime":1027.49,"body":"even just talking about how do"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1027.49,"endTime":1031.21,"body":"you play together in a therapy"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1027.49,"endTime":1031.21,"body":"session can open up a whole"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1031.21,"endTime":1034.72,"body":"conversation? Because you're"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1031.21,"endTime":1034.72,"body":"right, what is playfulness to"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1034.72,"endTime":1038.29,"body":"one couple is not to another or"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1034.72,"endTime":1038.29,"body":"what is for one partner is not"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1038.29,"endTime":1042.7,"body":"for the other? Yeah. But to even"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1038.29,"endTime":1042.7,"body":"have a conversation about how"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1042.7,"endTime":1046.51,"body":"can we play together in a way we"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1042.7,"endTime":1046.51,"body":"haven't in a long time. That"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1046.51,"endTime":1049.63,"body":"kind of conversation can also be"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1046.51,"endTime":1049.63,"body":"a form of play?"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1049.81,"endTime":1053.23,"body":"It is it is and"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1049.81,"endTime":1053.23,"body":"because it's not work related."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1053.23,"endTime":1055.33,"body":"It's like, I hope you don't mind"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1053.23,"endTime":1055.33,"body":"me sharing because you've you've"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1055.33,"endTime":1059.17,"body":"told me before, that you and"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1055.33,"endTime":1059.17,"body":"your husband oftentimes have"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1059.17,"endTime":1061.3899999999999,"body":"this little routine, which I"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1059.17,"endTime":1061.3899999999999,"body":"actually think routines are"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1061.3899999999999,"endTime":1064.96,"body":"super important. As long as you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1061.3899999999999,"endTime":1064.96,"body":"include the playfulness and the"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1064.96,"endTime":1068.71,"body":"routine. The routine of"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1064.96,"endTime":1068.71,"body":"playfulness for you guys is like"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1069.01,"endTime":1072.73,"body":"this recent tick tock little"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1069.01,"endTime":1072.73,"body":"where yes, together, right?"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1072.999,"endTime":1078.069,"body":"You get into bed"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1072.999,"endTime":1078.069,"body":"and get lost in tic toc and"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1078.069,"endTime":1078.579,"body":"laugh."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1080.35,"endTime":1082.87,"body":"That's what I'm"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1080.35,"endTime":1082.87,"body":"talking about. It's those that"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1082.87,"endTime":1087.76,"body":"cost you nothing. And and you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1082.87,"endTime":1087.76,"body":"know you're actually vertical."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1088.96,"endTime":1091.12,"body":"Oh, actually wait, that's what"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1088.96,"endTime":1091.12,"body":"we're horizontal"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1091.12,"endTime":1091.51,"body":"action."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1093.7,"endTime":1095.95,"body":"You're not You're"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1093.7,"endTime":1095.95,"body":"not spending any money. You're"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1095.95,"endTime":1099.8799999999999,"body":"not going out. But you're"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1095.95,"endTime":1099.8799999999999,"body":"connecting through some humor in"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1099.8799999999999,"endTime":1100.3899999999999,"body":"someplace,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1100.3899999999999,"endTime":1104.17,"body":"right? Yeah, no,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1100.3899999999999,"endTime":1104.17,"body":"exactly. Exactly. It Yeah. We"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1104.17,"endTime":1108.04,"body":"also we also make a point of"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1104.17,"endTime":1108.04,"body":"dinner Saturday nights because I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1108.04,"endTime":1111.76,"body":"work till you know, I'm not home"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1108.04,"endTime":1111.76,"body":"until almost eight o'clock,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1111.79,"endTime":1115.96,"body":"three nights out of seven. And"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1111.79,"endTime":1115.96,"body":"so Saturday nights is a night"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1115.96,"endTime":1119.08,"body":"where he makes dinner and he"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1115.96,"endTime":1119.08,"body":"does the shopping and we sit"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1119.08,"endTime":1124.78,"body":"down we talk. We might play some"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1119.08,"endTime":1124.78,"body":"games together. But we put"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1124.78,"endTime":1129.01,"body":"phones down. We're not because"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1124.78,"endTime":1129.01,"body":"phones. Okay, that's okay. I'm"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1129.01,"endTime":1132.85,"body":"gonna rant about phones for just"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1129.01,"endTime":1132.85,"body":"a second. Yeah, I can't stand"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1132.85,"endTime":1137.56,"body":"them. I think phones are the"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1132.85,"endTime":1137.56,"body":"bane of relationships. I swear"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1137.56,"endTime":1142.45,"body":"to God, they really, they're,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1137.56,"endTime":1142.45,"body":"it's awful. Your restaurant, you"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1142.45,"endTime":1146.05,"body":"watch people looking at their"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1142.45,"endTime":1146.05,"body":"phone, or they're taking a shot"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1146.05,"endTime":1150.61,"body":"for Facebook. And there's no"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1146.05,"endTime":1150.61,"body":"conversation happening. It's all"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1150.61,"endTime":1156.1299999999999,"body":"about what's on the phone. And I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1150.61,"endTime":1156.1299999999999,"body":"think that's been a huge, huge"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1156.1299999999999,"endTime":1159.85,"body":"distraction from people talking"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1156.1299999999999,"endTime":1159.85,"body":"and connecting with one"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1159.85,"endTime":1163.21,"body":"another. Well,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1159.85,"endTime":1163.21,"body":"and I think that is worth a"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1163.21,"endTime":1169.03,"body":"whole episode. Just just"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1163.21,"endTime":1169.03,"body":"technology and how it's"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1169.06,"endTime":1172.48,"body":"interfering with our"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1169.06,"endTime":1172.48,"body":"interpersonal relationships. Not"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1172.48,"endTime":1177.67,"body":"just romantic ones, or our adult"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1172.48,"endTime":1177.67,"body":"ones, but also our our"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1177.67,"endTime":1181.12,"body":"relationships with our children,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1177.67,"endTime":1181.12,"body":"our relationships with, you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1181.12,"endTime":1184.87,"body":"know, our parents or our"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1181.12,"endTime":1184.87,"body":"friends. I mean, just in, in"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1184.87,"endTime":1190.66,"body":"general, how distracted we've"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1184.87,"endTime":1190.66,"body":"become, and how, no wonder we're"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1190.66,"endTime":1195.61,"body":"struggling with how, you know,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1190.66,"endTime":1195.61,"body":"how do you really connect if you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1195.61,"endTime":1199.27,"body":"feel like you have to connect"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1195.61,"endTime":1199.27,"body":"with everyone all the time?"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1199.57,"endTime":1202.78,"body":"All the time, like"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1199.57,"endTime":1202.78,"body":"having an electronic leash."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1202.87,"endTime":1203.23,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1203.26,"endTime":1205.78,"body":"It's over"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1203.26,"endTime":1205.78,"body":"overstimulation. For sure."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1205.78,"endTime":1211.0,"body":"salutely. Absolutely. Yeah. So"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1205.78,"endTime":1211.0,"body":"maybe that's something that we"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1211.0,"endTime":1214.87,"body":"can pick up next time, because"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1211.0,"endTime":1214.87,"body":"there's lots to talk about here."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1215.29,"endTime":1218.1399999999999,"body":"There's tons to talk about."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1215.29,"endTime":1218.1399999999999,"body":"Absolutely."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1218.44,"endTime":1221.8,"body":"Well, thanks for"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1218.44,"endTime":1221.8,"body":"hearing me out on my little rant"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1221.83,"endTime":1225.07,"body":"about date night. Because I"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1221.83,"endTime":1225.07,"body":"think it really is it's a"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1225.07,"endTime":1228.22,"body":"feeling it's not a destination"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1225.07,"endTime":1228.22,"body":"as we've talked about today."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1228.61,"endTime":1232.03,"body":"Learning how to play together."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1228.61,"endTime":1232.03,"body":"And we can do it under your own"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1232.03,"endTime":1235.03,"body":"roof where you can go somewhere"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1232.03,"endTime":1235.03,"body":"play but whatever play means for"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1235.03,"endTime":1238.3,"body":"you don't forget to incorporate"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1235.03,"endTime":1238.3,"body":"that into your, into your"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1238.3,"endTime":1241.42,"body":"romantic relationship because"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1238.3,"endTime":1241.42,"body":"it's super important. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1241.4189999999999,"endTime":1243.309,"body":"what a great"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1241.4189999999999,"endTime":1243.309,"body":"reminder. I'm glad we had this"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1243.309,"endTime":1245.079,"body":"little chat. Yeah, me too."},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1243.309,"endTime":1245.079,"body":"Thanks,"},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1245.08,"endTime":1246.07,"body":"Cory. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1246.1299999999999,"endTime":1246.8799999999999,"body":"I'll see you"},{"speaker":"Cory Montfort","startTime":1246.1299999999999,"endTime":1246.8799999999999,"body":"around."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1246.999,"endTime":1249.039,"body":"Okay. Take care."},{"speaker":"Laurie Poole","startTime":1246.999,"endTime":1249.039,"body":"Bye"}]}